Die Hard is a Christmas movie! – from Jose10k
Die Hard is a Christmas movie! – from Jose10k

Die Hard is a Christmas movie! – from Jose10k

Warm-ups: ssh, self love, grass grabbers; windmills, high knees

The thang: After the warmups, the PAX moseyed to the courthouse. The tragedy at Nakatomi plaza occurred on Christmas Eve, and we gathered today to honor the hero of Nakatomi: John McClain. The event occurred on the the 30th floor, so that’s where we started. 30 merkins, 30 squats, 30 big boy sit-ups, 30 leg lifts. In between each exercise ran the length of the courthouse leading up to the stairs, up the stairs and then back down. Once the pax was finished we ran 1 lap around the entire courthouse. This is when the terrorists almost took out Grundy (asthma attack) and where we picked up some extra help from Miles Davis posting from Mississippi. We now stopped on the side of the courthouse.
‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring,except for the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two formation.
Paired up. Partner one : side lunges the entire grass section to the concrete and back, partner 2= holds an al gore thoroughgood. Repeat.
The terrorists planned to use C4 to blow up Nakatomi Tower. The PAX completed in cadence 15 reps of these 4 “c”ore exercises: little Manny crunches, flutter kicks, Freddy Mercury’s, and cowbells favorite: crunchy frogs.
Come out to the coast, we’ll get together, have a few laughs.
Famous line from the air ducts: time to do some ac duct crawling, while partner 2 does squats. Side not, ac duct crawling no fun when you hit the acorns. Mosey back to the second floor to do a Hans Gruber pull-up: the pax hung from the raptors for 10 count, then did 30 Superman’s (he did fall 30 stories) .back to the stair well to do 5 calve raises each to the top. And time was up. Cot, Russo prayed us out. Thoughts and prayers to Zoolanders friend. And to further celebrate the heroics of John McClain, a yell of Yippie Ki-yay Motherfu**er. Thanks for letting me lead gentleman