Tag: Fast Tax

Special Ops – from Hawgcycle

Conditions: Partly Cloudy. 72 degrees. Humidity 92%. Wind 5 mph from the South

Pax: Boo, Buxton, Fast Tax, YHC, Hokie Don’t Call Me Pokie, Mayhem, Pool Party, PVC, Triple Shift

Arrived a few minutes early to find PVC warming up. I filled him in on the Special Ops Mission he would need to lead.

After giving the disclaimer I told Fast Tax and Triple to go with PVC. Given the look on Triple’s face, I’m pretty sure he believed he was getting the Black Tahoe. From his perspective it makes sense. I’m sure he feels he has been dangerously close for a while now. The Special Ops group headed right towards the Rock Pile. Boo, Buxton, Hoke, Mayhem, Pool Boy and YHC headed in the opposite direction.

Quick Mosey to the light pole on the south end of the park. Pretty sure I’ve never done a warm-up here. Hopefully Fast Tax will be glad to hear that I was mixing things up.

Warm Up:

YHC used the warm-up to let some of our newer members practice leading in Cadence:
• Pool Boy – SSH x 26
• Mayhem – Imperial Walkers x 15
• Buxton – Grass Grabbers x 15
• Pool Boy – Peter Parkers x 20
• Mayhem – Tempo Merkins x 20
• Buxton – Low Slow Squats x 20

The Thang

Continued around the path headed east and then North to the first baseball field. Divided up into two groups of three. Pax 1 did pull-ups on the bleachers, Pax 2 did merkins, Pax 3 was the timer with 5 burpees. Rinse and Repeat.

Back to the path, headed north where we joined up with our 3 Special Ops friends. That took longer than expected. Maybe they ran into resistance. Did they have words with Rudy’s Caterer? She’s never accosted us before, but it’s possible that Triple Shift said something to set her off.

Triple Shift: Hey what are you doing?
Rudy’s Caterer: I’m walking. I walk here every day. 78 laps.
Triple Shift: Your form is all wrong. Look at your hips. They’re all out of alignment.
Rudy’s Caterer: I do this every day. I’m fine
Triple Shift: You won’t be. Keep doing this and you might not ever walk again.
Rudy’s Caterer: Hmmm….then I should do this now @$#%&#@!
At this point she jumps Triple, brings him to the ground and starts jumping repeatedly on his face as PVC and Fast Tax stand by in amusement.

…Or maybe our Special Ops are just slow. At any rate they joined on the levee for Clock
Merkins
• 6 o’clock (feet toward the top of levee, head toward the bottom) x 10
• 9 o’clock x 10
• 12 o’clock x 7
• 2 o’clock x 6
• 4:30 x 6

Continue our mosey around the track to the Hill. We had nine presents left to us by our Special Ops. I gave PVC very little instruction, but he did a good job (other than being slow as molasses). I was glad to see the variety of rocks and especially glad to that they brought Gibraltar.

11s – Start with 10 bench presses on the north side, carry the rock up and over to the south side and do a man-maker. Then 9 bench presses and 2 man-makers…..yadda, yadda, yadda…we did this for 10 minutes. YHC got to 5 bench presses and 6 man-makers.

At this point we had to hustle. YHC challenged the pax to get back to the rock pile before him. Boo succeeded. Drop of the rocks and Horses to the Stable back to the flag.

NMM

• Great job by Pool Boy, Mayhem, and Buxton during the warm-up. They all led like champs. Looking forward to some fresh Qs.
• The Bleacher pull-ups were fraught with danger.
• I concur with Hoke’s sentiments regarding the clock merkins.
• It’s not really 11s unless it involves burpees or man-makers. It’s also not 11s if you don’t finish. That’s on me.
• Don’t worry, Triple is as handsome as ever. His dust up with Rudy’s caterer left him none the worse.
• Guys pushed hard at the end. So good seeing guys with their hands on their knees or in surrender cobra when we finish.

+3

December 14, 2022
12×12 – Animals on Parade – from Rudy

Typical December am at Rock City: foggy, warm, mosquitos. Good stuff. 7 PAX in the gloom expected Hawg to lead them, but alas they got Rudy instead. Mahatma could be heard audibly groaning, muttering “I shoulda gone to swolefest.” Disclaimer given, off to the rock pile. Lots of new-ish faces at Pontiff perhaps had no idea that they should expect better. Great to see Pool Boy bringing in the new faces – Buxton and Mayhem!

Warmup with SSH (Fast Tax insisted on doing them in opposite cadence. I think that was his protest against a Rudy-Q). Some Grass Grabbers, Abe Vigodas, Peter Parkers, Parker Peters. Grab a rock and head to the football field.

The Thing: YHC dug way back in the Backblast archives looking for inspiration. Found a Hawg Q from 2015 that served as the basis – animal walks and exercises. Modified to reflect the date (12/12) led to this:

Line up the rocks at about the 25 yard line. We’ve got 12 sets. Each set is an animal movement from the goal line to the rocks, then a set of 12 exercises, then return to the goal line.

Round 1: Bear Crawl with Thrusters
Round 2: Crab Walk with BBSU
Round 3: Duck Walk with Burpees (with a jump-over the rock)
Round 4: Inchworms with 8 Count Brick Builder
Round 5: Frog Jump with an unnamed combo – bench press, but the rock starts over your head
Round 6: Ape Walk with Lunge and Twist

Then we repeat, but with the animal walk reversed: Crawl Bear, Walk Crab, Walk Duck, Worm Inch (i guess?), Jump Frog and Walk Ape.

Ran out of time, so we didn’t get the last set of Lunge & Twists. Gotta get the rocks back to their home and return to the flag.

Random Musings:
* Mahatma and Fast Tax set the pace. By a healthy margin. I hope they got a lot out of the planking. Next time – they have to go 35 yards instead of 25 yards.
* Great to see the new guys pushing through. Buxton in particular – never failed to actually sprint back to the goal line. All of us can learn by that example
* War Eagle complained about the mosquitos. I mean, they were bad. But seriously?
* But Kudos to War Eagle as well – finding a way to modify and push to accomodate an injured wrist. Way to keep moving!

+4

December 12, 2022
PLANK FLOATERS AND BALL BUSTERS – from Fast Tax

Twelve PAX rolled up to the Uptowner for a very humid and gloomy Game Day.
After dispensing with the disclaimer, we moseyed toward the rock pile, curiosity evident on the faces of the PAX…What does Fast Tax have in that bag?

Warmups were a sprinkle of typical Uptowner fare: SSHs, Arm Circle variants, Imperial Walkers, and, not to be dissuaded, Crab Merkins.

Sufficiently warmed, YHC selected the fenced in baseball field for the debut of his new game. Amidst the eager anticipation of the PAX, YHC pulled a large balloon out of his big black ball bag and introduced Plank Floaters.

Plank Floaters begins with PAX forming a plank circle while one person hits the balloon into the air and immediately gets back into a plank position. The PAX to his right must jump up and hit the balloon back up, before it touches the ground, and get back in plank, with the cycle repeating around the circle. If the balloon hits the ground, everyone does 5 burpees and then play resumes. As is typical of YHC’s creations, this was a work in progress with a few mods made along the way (direction reverses after a save, 1 PAX in ready position, 3 burpees, etc.).

We headed to the kid’s playground picnic table for the next festivity of the morning –
BALL BUSTER.

Ball Buster is a combination of Capture the Flag and Dodge Ball, except there are no boundaries. PAX form two teams. Each side has a blue ball (referred to as the Flag), which must be positioned at a pre-identified location on each team’s base and each PAX on the team is given one non-blue ball. The object is to steal the opposing sides blue ball (i.e. their flag) and bring it back to your base. The team scored against has to do three burpees.
Similar to dodge ball, PAX can use the ball to hit or “tag” an opposing player or block an incoming ball. If you are hit, or the person you are throwing at catches the ball, you have to immediately drop your ball and do two burpees or five merkins.
PAX can only hold one ball at a time. In order to pick up the flag, you must drop the ball if you are carrying one. You can pick up a tagged PAX’s ball and throw it away, but only after dropping your own.

However, when carrying the opposing team’s flag, it can be strategically used as a regular ball to hit or tag an opposing player. If the opposing team retrieves their flag (b/c the carrier was hit and had to drop the ball), it must be brought or thrown back to base and placed in the same pre-identified spot. A player cannot just run around with the Flag in their possession.
Halfway through the game, the teams should switch sides – which we forgot to do…

Having dispensed with the game rules, play commenced.
Team 1: Booboo, Colonial, Fast Tax, Logo, McGyver, Triple Shift
Team 2: Architect (FNG), Charmin, Cyber Cajun, Hawg Cycle, Mayhem, Pool Boy
What began as an even match quickly descended into a one sided game as Team 2 carried the day 5-3.

At some point toward the end we were joined by Vagabond.
With time running out, we headed to COT for Name-o-rama, Naming of the FNG (Architect), announcements, intentions, and prayer.

Thanks for the fellowship and allowing YHC the chance to engage his creative side!

SYITG!

0

December 10, 2022
Roaming around The playground – from PVC

On a cool crisp yet foggy full moon lit 65 degree morning 8 PAX converged for a Bootcamp in the gloom

Warmorama: squats, Abe vigoda, grass grabbbers, imperial walkers, hill billies, arm circles, Peter Parker’s

Mosey to gym wall for balls to wall, calf raises, donkey kicks (2 sets)

Mosey to pavilion for dips, BBS, step ups (2 sets)

Mosey to hill for bear crawl up n over, flutter kicks, lunge up n over, bear crawl up n over, flutter kicks

Mosey to rock pile shoulder press, bench press, squats (2 sets)

Mosey to football field for Coolorama:
squats, Abe vigoda, grass grabbbers, imperial walkers, hill billies

COT
FNG Buxton was named after I recognized his name from our childhood neighborhood where we grew up

+2

December 7, 2022
Fast Tax Redemption – from Fast Tax

Seems like more than 10 months since YHC’s notorious Q at WPM during Run-Ranger-Run month. Apparently, some Uptown PAX are still lamenting YHC’s exercise selections that fateful day in February. (A recap of the events of that day can be found here https://www.f3nola.com/2022/02/18/wait-the-mountain-is-the-other-way-from-fast-tax/). Hoping to redeem himself as a Q in the eyes of the Uptown PAX, while designing the pre-game workout YHC endeavored to not select anything that might get the PAX dirty.

As YHC started setting out cones, you could feel the wonder and anticipation permeating in the not so crisp December air as questions swirled in the minds of the PAX present; what did Fast Tax have in store for us? Would it at least be better than his last Uptown Q?

After the usual disclaimer, we moseyed a few steps and began our warmup.
Warmups consisted of: SSH, Hairy Rockettes, Mountain Man Poopers, Peter Parkers, and Crab Merkins. YHT noted that the Uptown PAX liked Crab Merkins about as much as the Pontiff PAX…might be time to shelve that one.

Sufficiently warmed we lined up while YHC described the next event, Red Barchetta.
Designed to get the heart rate up, much like the song by Rush of the same name, the Red Barchetta begins with PAX lining up to begin the following OYO: 100 Yard Dash then 100 SSHs, run back to start point; 75 yard dash then 75 mountain climbers, run back to start; 50 yard dash then 50 LBCs, run back to start; 25 yard dash then 25 Merkins, run back to start; 10 yard dash then 10 burpees, run back to start.

With 30 minutes to go, we circled up so YHC could introduce BATTLE FRISBURPEE and review the rules. Note: The full rules can be found at the end of this backblast and also in slack as a PDF if you search files for “Frisburpee.”

Team 1: Light Shirts
Team 2: Dark Shirts

Typically, I would list out each team but I don’t have a clue who was on which team. It was a pretty close battle all the way to the closing bell. Final score 3-3. Technically, Team 1 won by a point b/c Team 2’s final point was after the game was over…
Now that the Uptown PAX have been introduced to the game, it’s time to have an AO championship, City Park, Pontiff, and Uptown.

With game over we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer followed by coffee at PJs on Magazine.

Apologies if I missed anyone.
Thanks for the fellowship and the chance to lead at The Skinny!

SYITG

Battle Frisburpee (revised 8/24/2022)

Battle Frisburpee – The Concept:
A blend of ultimate Frisbee, football, soccer, and dodgeball, with an emphasis on individual burpee punishment, played running the width of a football field (sideline to sideline) as the length and the 5 and 20 yard lines as the left and right boundaries. Each side’s end zone begins at the sideline and has a depth of 5 yards in from the corresponding end. This equates to a field 63 yds from end to end, including a 5 yard end zone on each side, and a width of 15 yards for 10 or less people, 20 yards for 12 – 14, and 25 yards for 16+. The Goalie Box extends from the back of the end zone to the sideline or 5 yards deep in total.

Battle Frisburpee – The Rules:
For every “kick off,” the Frisbee must land in the field of play or go through the end zone. If the kickoff goes out of bounds, it is the receiving team’s ball at the Halfway point (26 yd line).
To score, a PAX must catch the Frisbee in the opposing team’s end zone.
When a team scores, the entire opposing team must do 3 burpees.
If the Frisbee is dropped, i.e. thrown but not caught, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or the one who muffed the catch) must immediately drop and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and is treated as a fumble, any nearby PAX from either team can pick it up and resume play.
If the Frisbee goes out of bounds, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or whoever it hits on the way out) must immediately drop and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is “dead” and is treated like a soccer ball that went out of bounds, i.e. the opposing team now stands at the spot it went out and immediately resumes play (without waiting for burpees to be completed).
If either of the player’s feet or any part of the Frisbee itself crosses the boundary, it is deemed out of bounds (clarification provided for Frac’s sake). If the Frisbee goes out of bounds in the air and then back in without touching the ground, it is still considered out of bounds and a turnover at the point it initially went out.

Each team must appoint a “Baller” to act as a goalie of sorts. The Baller must stay in the Goalie Box if they are holding the ball and can throw the ball at any approaching opposing team member, whether that person is holding a Frisbee or not. A player hit with the ball, must immediately drop the Frisbee, if carrying one, and do 3 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and can be picked up immediately by anyone else.
The player is only “hit” if the ball doesn’t touch the ground first.
The Baller is the only one who can throw the ball at an opposing player and the Baller must throw only from the Goalie Box. Also, the Ball cannot be passed from teammate to teammate. The Baller must put it down and the new Baller picks it up.
The Baller can leave the Goalie Box to retrieve the ball or teammates can retrieve for him. The opposing team cannot interfere with the retrieval of the ball or even touch the ball.
At any time, the Baller can elect to act as a player and run down the field but he must leave the ball in the Goalie Box, thus leaving the Goalie Box unguarded.

A player carrying the Frisbee can throw the Frisbee at an opposing player (that is guarding too closely) resulting in that player having to immediately drop and do 3 burpees.

A player can only hold onto the Frisbee for 5 seconds (one MS, two MS, etc…) but, to enforce it, someone on the opposing team has to count aloud. Time can be increased or decreased by mutual consent.

If the Baller accidentally throws the ball at an opposing player’s family jewels, the hit player gets a free pass on burpees. (aka “The Bogie Exception”)

If a PAX catches the Frisbee in the opposing team’s goalie box and is hit by the baller at the same time, THE TIE GOES TO THE FRISBEE RECEIVER.

A dropped frisbee, i.e. one that touched someone first, in the opposing team’s goalie box is a live ball and will count as a score if the scoring team picks it up in the goalie box. An uncaught Frisbee landing in the goalie box is turned over to the home team.

+2

December 5, 2022
1/2 (Revised) Iron Pax Challenge – from Triple Shift

With a last minute notice from Mahatma that he couldn’t Q this morning due to a family vehicle mechanical problem, I called an audible and took the reigns.

WARMUP
Head to the rock pile then to the field. The instructions were to grab a heavy rock but not everyone listened to my instructions (nothing new). Oh well, we circled up with some SSH x 20 IC, Low Slow Squat x 10, Tempo Merkins x 15, Forward Arm Circles x 10 IC, Reverse Arm Circles x 10 IC, Pretzel Arms x 10 IC, and finally, 10 Burpees IC.

THE THANG
Due to the high humidity, the field was soaking wet, so I headed to the large oak tree on the other side of the track by the playground to do our thing. I’ve wanted to do this workout for some time and it is one I will always remember since (I believe) that was the first workout of the inaugural Iron Pax Challenge in 2017. The original workout is 50 squats, 40 Big Boy Sit-ups, 30 Merkins, 20 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) and 10 Burpees than run 400 meters x 4 for time. I vaguely remember that pax members in the nation were posting sub 20 minute times and I had to throw the BS flag on that!
Back to the workout. With the rock, we did 50 squats, 40 flutter kicks (2 is 1), 30 bench press, 20 Bonnie Blairs (sans rock of course), and 10 Blockees x 2. There was a great deal of chirping at the Warmup but quieted down pretty quick except when we did flutter kicks and bench presses with the abundance acorns on the ground.

COT
Countoff, Namerama and closed with prayers for friends and loved ones dealing with significant diseases. Reminded the pax to be alert and observant for other men’s emotional and spiritual health this time of year. Let’s be providers of hope, encouragement and joy this Christmas season

+2

December 5, 2022
From Silence to Mayhem-2 – from Mahatma

10 pax, including an FNG (Kyle) gathered to start the road to recovery – from the gluttony of the extended Thanksgiving weekend. No doubt YHC was confident it would not be a solo calorie burn as Hokie texted his committed presence while in route. After a quick disclaimer and a short mosey to an opening just of the track there was a quick stretch and warm up.

Then to the surprise and delight of the pax, YHC gave calming instructions that for the next 10 minutes the work would be in silence, simply follow whatever exercise YHC was performing – SSH – Vups – Merkins – Squats – Burbee – Mnt Climbers – Toy Soldiers – LBCs continue to rinse and repeat as YHC continued.
Complete mosey to the rocks, get one and line up for Indian Walk to the Hill.

Split up 1/2 & 1/2 – drop rocks on either side meet on top for the instructions. It started as a 1771 where 2 exercises were to be done crossing to either side each time crossing either perform 5 merkins or 3 burpees – YHC intended for 3 rounds that included a bear crawl around the base yet his ability communicate clear instructions was a clear failure and slice of humble pie. The pax vocalized this clearly yet attempted to follow the folly of Mayhem even to give it a 2nd try. YHC accepts the failure as a learning experience and challenge to come up with better plan for a future beatdown!

Grabbing our rocks we headed to the pavilion YHC spirts were lifted as comments were made that he came close to other highly respected HIMs who try to implement creative pax activities therefore taking our comfort zones to new levels. (Mahatma’s Mayhem will return for a 3rd attempt!)

5 box jumps followed by a burpee x 5. Fast Tax was determined to put perform the pax by increasing his burpees with each round so 5BJs 1 Burpee then 5BJs 2 Burpees and so on……hard charger!

25 leg lifted rock chest press
20 WII sit ups

Return the rocks.

COT Kyle was tagged with the name “Mayhem” in honor of him holding his composure and seemingly gleefully for a return!

Prayers or gratitude, grace and humility of service.

+3

November 28, 2022
Uptowner Battle Frisburpee 11/18/2022 – from Fast Tax

Admittedly, YHC was a minute late to the AO…thanks to War Eagle for kicking things off.
Warmups were held in the middle of the field:
Grass Grabbers
SSH
Hairy Rockettes
Toy Soldiers
Peter Parker
Crab Merkins

To kick things off post-warmup, on this crisp Game Friday, we began with Red Barchetta.
Designed to get the heart rate up, much like the song by Rush of the same name, the Red Barchetta begins with PAX lining up on the end zone. The following can be done OYO or planking to wait for the six after each dash (we did it OYO): 100 Yard Dash then 100 SSHs, run back to start point; 75 yard dash then 75 mountain climbers, run back to start; 50 yard dash then 50 LBCs, run back to start; 25 yard dash then 25 Merkins, run back to start; 10 yard dash then 10 burpees, run back to start.

With 25 minutes left, it was Battle Frisburpee time.
Team 1 – Tiny Dancer, Fast Tax, Scantron, Triple Shift, and War Eagle
Team 2 – Bogey, Cyber Cajun, Pool Boy, PVC and War Eagle
War Eagle switched sides halfway through while Hokie and Vagabond were on injured reserve and couldn’t play.
Team 1 carried the day winning 4-3.
With game over, we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
Thanks for the fellowship! SYITG

0

November 23, 2022
Is there a wind block anywhere? – from PVC

Trying to keep warm on a crisp 45 degree morning with a constant 15mph wind

Warmorama:
Low slow squat, Grassgrabber, Abe Vigoda, Imperial walker, Hillbillies, Peter parker, Arm circles, Parker peter

Exercised at the corners of the end zones: Merkins then sprint to other corner, Big boy sit ups, Sprint and lunge, sprint and side straddle hop for 2 rounds

Met at center of the field to play a ring of fire frisbee with 2 burpee penalties. Quite a challenge with the winds. Lots of burpees to be had. Side straddle hops while not active throwing or catching the frisbee. The Golden Glove goes to Cyber Cajun, I can’t remeber him ever dropping one.

Coolorama:
Low slow squat, Grassgrabber, Abe Vigoda, Imperial walker, Hillbillies, Peter parker, Arm circles, Parker peter

COT

+3

November 16, 2022
What’s the Devil’s Favorite Number? – from Bolt

Arriving with speaker in hand YHC was reminded by Hawg that Hand Grenada was looking to swap Qs for next week—my memory sucks; on to the suck I intended to bring the PAX today, simple but effective, I’d hoped. Warmorama Rapper’s Delight edition near midfield with 11 of the El Diablo’s finest; Hokie added one to our ranks and snuck onto the track for some 1:1 work.

We did BLIMPS (burpees, lunges, imperial walkers, merkins, plank jacks, squats): starting at the goal line with 10 burpees and 20 yard bear crawls in between, adding an exercise and five reps at each stop.

There was very little mumblechatter from the goal line which tells me the nature of today’s beatdown would impress even the Devil with its daunting outline. It continued to be eerily silent at each 20 yard stop, with the exception of YHC’s now infamous, albeit schizophrenic playlist. The typical stud crew (Hawg, Mahatma, and FastTax) soon separated from the pack and led the rest of the way.

T-claps to MacGyver for persevering after several months on IR; it was a great reminder of how important what we do is for our conditioning—and how quickly it slips away even when we are pushing our bodies in the ways we are able while on IR.

Mahatma, being the HIM he is circled MacGyver and did reps with him which prompted YHC to remind the PAX that “we leave no one behind” and announced to those who were finished to also circle our six. Those not brining the six in were invited to my circle where we began with Al Gore for one minute including a full contact version administered to me from FastTax; time for Mary, 2:1 for one minute each: LBC x34, penguin x36, kettlebell “hops” x21, American hammer x10 (ok fine, not quite a minute here, gotta get to the flag). COT.

So what is the Devil’s favorite number, 395 (reps), 100 (bear crawl yds.), 101 (Mary reps), 153 (my avg. heart rate)? Who really knows but my answer is 12: the number of PAX showing up in the gloom today to better themselves by both pushing and leaning on other men in pursuit of acceleration, as Triple Shift says! It was an honor men.

+1

November 9, 2022