F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Uptowner

  • Buying the Bundle

    Conditions:  Humid

    Warm-UP

    IW x 31; Bat Wings and Moroccan Robin (Forward Arm Circles x 20; Backards Arm Circles x 20, Seal Claps x 25, Overhead Claps x 25, Moroccan Night Clubs x 31) #Crowd Pleaser; Low Slow Squats x 15; Don Quixote x 10; Peter Parker x 15; Merkins x 15; Parker Peter x 15; Justifier Reflection x 15; Flutters x 15

    The Thang

    Bear Crawl to the Rock Pile (approximately 250 yards)

    Carry a Big Rock and a one handed rock to the Gym (approximately 100 yards)

    Wall Work:  Ball to the Wall; Ascending Testicles, Down and Dirty x 15; Chicken Peckers x 15; Hip Slappers x 15

    Carry Rocks back to the Rock Pile (Approximately 100 yards)

    Lunge walk x 40 yards

    Bear Crawl 60 yards

    NMM

    • My advertisement of a Low Impact Workout was more successful than anticipated.  I was pleasantly surprised to see 8 High Impact Men at my Low Impact workout.  I am sure The Boge, MmmmmBop, Vagabond, and even Hand Grenada were up for something Low Impact after the horrible things Hand Grenada made us do on Monday (Basically Sprint a mile with a 35 pound rock on your shoulder).  The meaner, leaner Gabby has been struggling with an injury to his svelty body and also seems to be in some kind of exclusive coffee tasting club with War Eagle and The Boge, which explains why they all wanted to be here.  Tool and JV came from afar because they love intrigue. 
    • After the initial Bear Crawl, Hand Grenada suggested that I with my promise of a low impact workout I was selling him a Bundle of goods that sounded good, but that he in fact did not want or need.
    • I have so missed JV’s labor pains.  They were in fine form during the initial bear crawl
    • There is a lot of perseveration on genitalia in the names of the wall exercises.  I did not name them   I got them off the F3 Nation website.  I can only imagine they were named by a 6th grader in an old man’s body. 
    • I’m a fan of these wall exercises.  Props to Ethanol
    • The new non-shovel Shovel Flag that Vagabond is flying should be the new standard in F3 Nola Shovel Flags. 

  • Pre-4th Pontiff-icating

    Four pax showed for the uptowner asking each other who was Q. At the 5:30 mark Vagabond claimed it and then group moseyed to rock pile and standard warmup with SSH, grass grabbers, windmills, peter parker, arm curls, mountain climbers, etc. Then on to the field of gloom where the pax circled (squared) up for ladder drill starting at 20 reps, declining in increments of 2, to 12 reps, comprised of a variety of maneuvers including burpees, elf on shelf, quarry, bench presses, lunges, ‘merican hammers, curls, box cutters, etc., with mosey’s in between each set. Closed out with 35x ‘dude you’re killing me’ LBCs enthusiastically cadenced by Bogey, plus 90 second plank. Mosey back for count off, ID, COT and prayer.

    TGIF

    Thank you Lord for our nation’s way-ahead-of-their-time and extraordinarily courageous founding fathers. And to all the patriots who gave their lives, loved ones, and/or livelihoods so we could have so much over two centuries later.

  • Crazy 8s

    Conditions

    Mostly cloudy, 65 F, Feels like 66 F, Humidity 93%, Wind 8 MPH from ESE.

    Warm-up

    Imperial Walkers x 31; Shoulder Taps x 31; Arm Circles: Forward x 16, Backerds x 15; Windmills x 10

    The Thang

    Grab your favorite rock and circle up for the duration.  Crazy 8s with a Deck of Death.

    • Hearts – Ground ‘n Pound con roca.  Reps = card value (2-14)
    • Spades – Squat Thrust con roca.  Reps = card value (2-14)
    • Diamonds – Curl to Press con roca.  Reps = card value (2-14)
    • Clubs – Core Exercise on the card sin roca. Reps = card value + 10 for numbers; 25 for face cards, 50 for the ace
    • Jokers – Repeat the last exercise
    • 8s – Do 8 eight count body builders each time an 8 is drawn

    NMM

    • Apparently I walked in hot and late.  Thought I had perfect timing to coolly stroll in at 0530 and give the disclaimer flag in hand, but the mumblechatter revealed that it was 0531.
    • War Eagle continues to be a non-conformist with his rock selection.  In spite of all of his peers selecting the traditional Pontiff drainage rocks, he continues to use a man-made cinder block.  Will War Eagle’s non-conformity lead to amazing success like Bill Bradley’s granny shot free throws, or will he always be viewed as a nut job like the guy that works out barefoot with F3 Nola?  Only time will tell. 
    • Mahatma taught us all an important life principle today.  Mahatma had a misshapen rock that was not easy to handle for some of the exercises.  After a round where some of the Pax traded rocks, Mahatma ended up with Frac’s rock.  Those of you that have posted at Rock City or The Uptowner may be familiar with this beast of a rock.  It appears to be a nice oblong shape that would be easy to handle, but once you start with it, you learn that one side weighs about 35 pounds and the other side weighs 15.  Remember kids, whatever your struggles are in life, there’s always someone else out there that has it harder than you. 
    • I suggest we start naming rocks.  I imagine that the aforementioned rock did not take kindly to our talk about its one-sided girth.  I can hear it protesting “It’s not a toomah!” like Governor Arnold in Kindergarten cop.  Therefore this rock shall henceforth be known as Schwarzenegger. 
    • Strava had my total mileage today at 0.18 miles.  That’s a successful Uptowner in my book. 

  • Friday Workout after Thanksgiving – Back to Work PAX

    YHC spent a few minutes Thursday evening after a second Thanksgiving meal to lay out a workout for Friday after Thanksgiving.    The plan was to keep it simple, no nonsense and focus on burning a few calories from the food and drink consumed the day before. 

    The alarm clock went off at normal time, but what was not normal was YHC hit the snooze button.     Alas a few minutes later, YHC awoke in a panic realizing he would not be at Pontiff for the 5:30 start time.    YHC quickly sent a message on mumblechatter that he would be “coming in hot”. 

    YHC arrived at Pontiff, near the rock pile and Tool stepped in to lead the warm-up.  After warm-up, we each grabbed a rock and circled up near the rock pile for Thang 1.    Ten-minute total time doing the following exercises in the following sequence:  10 ct. Merkins, 20 ct. Curls, 30 ct. Al Gore, 40 ct. Monkey Humpers, and 50ct. LBC’s. 

    After a brief 20 ct of rest – Thang 2 was started.     Ten-minute total time doing the following exercises in the following sequence:  10 ct. Squats, 20 ct. Flutter kicks, 30 ct. Squat press, 40 ct. Shoulder taps, and 50 ct. Penguins.

    After another 20ct. to catch breath, it was on to Thang 3.     Each PAX picked up rock and did the following exercises together in succession – 10 ct. curls, 10 ct. squat, 10 ct. bench press, and 10 ct. rows.  We then did 8 ct. of each exercise, 6 ct. of each exercise, and finished with 4 count of each exercise.   

    HVAC obliged and led the PAX for about 8 minutes of stretching and Yoga to close out the workout.  

    COT, announcements, intentions, and gratefulness for the Thanksgiving holiday.    This workout was great example of teamwork and fellowship – T-claps to Tool for helping with the warm-up, and T-claps to HVAC for leading the Yoga exercises.

  • Honoring USN Chief Petty Officer Fontan

    With a significant drop in air temperature and increase in wind, six men appeared from the gloom to sacrifice a piece of themselves in honor of another local hero warrior.  Chief Petty Officer Jacques J. Fontan served in United States Navy from 1989-2005.  He was born in NOLA and a graduate of Brother Martin High School.  Amnesty knew CPO Fontan and shared some memories of his life.  CPO Fontan served in the Cold War, Persian Gulf, War on Terrorism, and Afghanistan (Operation Enduring Freedom). He was the platoon Chief Petty Officer of SEAL Team 10. 

    CPO Fontan was KIA on 28 June 2005 while leading a quick reaction force sent to reinforce a SEAL recon team engaged in a fierce firefight against a numerically superior anti-coalition militia. As their helicopter hovered for a quick-rope insertion, they were hit by a RPG.  CPO Fontan was awarded a Bronze Star for heroic combat achievement during Operation Red Wings (part of the popular book and movie Lone Survivor).

    The standard disclaimer was given and a short mosey to the traditional Uptowner warmup area. 

    Warmup x28: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Arm Circles (forward and backward), Windmills, and Peter Parkers

    Thang

    The PAX formed a line for an Indian Run on the one-mile asphalt track.  At the first parking lot the PAX stopped for incline merkins x28.  At the second parking lot the PAX stopped for decline merkins x28, definitely a struggle.  At the first metal building the PAX stopped for uphill walking lunges using the ramp, another crowd pleaser! Once back at the rock pile, PAX completed dips x28 using the concrete wall at the pumps. 

    Next PAX grabbed a rock for several rounds of curls, lunge with a twist, and triceps extensions, all x28. Amnesty suggested more leg work.  YHC likes to believe he is a man of the people, so Bulgarian split-leg lunges were performed.  Rocks were returned and a round-robin of Mary finished off the beatdown. 

    COT: Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and a prayer.  Special intentions were given for CPO Fontan’s soul and comfort for his family. It’s always an honor to lead a group of leaders and even more special to honor someone who gave all of his tomorrows for our today.  May we never take a second of our lives for granted.

  • Honoring SFC Muralles

    With the Iron PAX Challenge underway, 16 men came out of the gloom to honor a local warrior hero who gave his life in defense of freedom. Army Specialist First Class Marcus “Marc” Muralles was born in the NOLA area.  He was a member of the 3rd Ranger BTN, KIA on 28 June 2005 while responding to a call for help by a four-man SEAL Team in eastern Afghanistan, which was later named Operation Red Wings  (the story behind the popular book and movie Lone Survivor).  SFC Muralles was scheduled to return home a few days after his death to celebrate his daughter’s 10th birthday.  He was posthumously awarded a Bronze Star, Purple Heart, Meritorious Service Medal, Air Medal with Valor, and Combat Action Badge. 

    SFC’s family said that SFC Muralles lived every aspect of his life by the Night Stalker’s Creed. 

    After the standard disclaimer, the PAX moseyed to the traditional Uptowner warmup area. 

    Warmup x28: SSH, Arm Circles, IW, Abe Vigodas, and Mountain Climbers

    Thang:

    The PAX grabbed a rock and moseyed to the track/football field for a lap around the quarter-mile track.  Then they broke up into small groups for the following x28, with a ¼ mile lap around the track after each exercise (for a total of 1.5 miles): Burpees, Curls, Squat Presses, WWII sit-ups, Full Extension Pull-ups, and Merkins. Everyone pushed hard and completed the beatdown.  Once complete, the PAX cheered on and encouraged our F3 brothers who were completing the IPC. 

    COT: Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and a prayer.  Special intentions were given for SFC Muralles’s soul and comfort for his family. We welcomed FNG Slow Tax (Fast Tax’s youngest son), FNG Jessup, and another FNG. It’s always an honor to lead a group of leaders and even more special to honor someone who sacrificed themselves so we can sleep soundly at night.  May the fallen never be forgotten, and may we never take a second of our lives for granted.

  • Kicking Some Grass with The King

    It was a somber day on August 16, 1977.  Elvis Aaron Presley was just finishing up his morning glory when the King collapsed due to heart failure.  Today we honor that great American in the best way we know how; by empowering our bodies through exercise and our souls through listening to his music.  Elvis was a HIM before we know what a HIM was.  

    W/U

    • Side Straddle Hop x 42
    • Imperial Walkers x 20
    • Hill Billies x 20
    • Arm Circles x 20
    • Mountain Climbers x 2o
    • J Lo’s x 10

    The Thang – Complete each exercise for the duration of the song playing. 

    • Hound Dog – Doggie Paddle 2:15
    • Teddy Bear – Bear crawl & Crawl Bear suicide – 1:48
    • American Trilogy – Merkins x10, Staggeredx 10, Staggered x10, Diamond x 10, Wide x 10, Chuck Norris x10,  Crossfit x 10, – 4:28
    • Burning Love – Pure Burn (1. Face the fence 2. Get in the squat position 3/4 up while holding the fence; 3. On the balls of your feet (tiptoes);  Pulse 3/4 down to 1/2 (90 degrees) X 10;  Pulse 1/2 all the way down X10; Repeat) – 2:50
    • Blue Suede Shoes – 1 merk, 2 LBC, 3 Squats,  25 Rocky Balboa’s – 2:00
    • Can’t Help Falling – Tunnel of Love 3:02
    • Don’t be cruel – Burp & Merk  (add a merkin to each burpee) – 2:03
    • Marie’s The Name x 3 – We brought those who had not Qed to the middle to lead.  T-Claps to Breadsticks, Tug Boat, and Fast Tax

    Announcements –  IRON PAX!  Sign up at https://f3greenwood.com/ironpax-form/  We are currently in 2nd place by 11 Pax. 

    Intentions – Those with cancer, our new students starting another school year especially Brady Lefleur, those intentions unspoken and kept in our hearts.

    Thank you for the opportunity to lead, thank you very much!

    Da Parish

  • ARMAPALOOZA

    The Uptowner Q list was running low, so YHC jumped at a chance to give Hawg a break and tryout an unused Uptowner resource YHC has had his eye on for a while. Turns out, a no running beatdown is more of a challenge than this F3 neophyte imagined. YHC was honored to lead 13 men through the gloom for this experiment.

    Warmup x 20

    SSH, IW, Arm Circles (10 forward/10 back), Grass Grabbers, Plank Jacks, and Abe Vigodas. There was quite a bit of mumblechatter towards the end of the warmup by a PAX who will remain nameless to protect the guilty so YHC imposed a five-burpee penalty to maintain order. The offending PAX refused to clap during the burpees, which almost lead to another round of penalty burpees, but there was more work to be done so the group was spared.

    The Thang

    The PAX was instructed to grab a medium-sized rock and slowsey to the parking lot in front of the gym. YHC is a fan of Dora 1-2-3 and merkin ladders. The PAX partnered up for 100 curls, 200 overhead presses, and 300 air squats (modified from squat presses with rock after a round or two of an excruciating arm and shoulder workout). While PAX 1 completed the above exercises, PAX 2 bear crawled from the parking lot to the steps of the gym for a merkin ladder (one merkin at the base of the steps and adding a merkin for each step up, for a total of 35), then lunge walk back and switch with PAX 1. Tclaps to mmmBop and Amnesty for bear crawling through a rather large puddle without complaining (guess Amnesty learned his lesson after the penalty burpees). After completing the ARMAPOLOOZA workout, the PAX circled up for a three-minute ISI compliant squat.

    COT- Nam-a-rama, announcements, and prayers.

    Thank you F3 for another opportunity to lead. It’s never taken lightly and always an honor. Thanks to the PAX for participating in my experiment. Parts of this beatdown will be repeated at a future beatdown, but YHC will look to modify to strive for a full body workout with compound exercises.