F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Uptowner

  • Fry Day – from Vagabond

    Warmup, Jump rope, pax choice, Mary
    Group 2 knees n toes

  • Counting Lessons for KennaBrah – from Bolt

    War Eagle had to bail on his bday Q to celebrate his sisters graduation so as site Q I decided to fill in, mainly in hopes of creating cringy reactions and dissension when I broke out my speaker in place of War Eagle. I wasn’t disappointed as Mahatma decided to join the usual knees over toes crew rather than be subjected to my playlist! Logo fulfilled his promise to be a Kotter before slipping back to Sad Clown after his lengthy absence; welcome back brother.
    Warmorama with the same old song plus the new, true warmups just for Bogey, who was present today. It’s during Hillbilly Squats that we must stop as it becomes necessary to teach KennBrah how to count/keep cadence. IC is designed to instill adherence to a standard, KB! WE got it corrected and completed without further incident.
    The Thang:
    Plank hurdles: all pax high plank along goal line, first pax runs 10 yds and planks, followed by second pax who sprints, hurdles pax 1, sprints 10 more yards and planks with each additional pax following the pattern allowing the cycle to continue until reaching the opposite goal line. Mosey to playground equipment.
    Morning Call: all pax decline plank shoulder to shoulder with pax 1 running to pull up bar and counting all five reps aloud, upon which all pax decline merkin, with pax 1 returning to plank with all subsequent pax following suit. Mosey to pavilion.

    Place speaker in the middle allowing a single song skip to be paid with 5 burpees for all and the next song must play entirely. Bogey was so excited to spend everyone’s burpees he could only pause the music, requiring YHC to execute the actual skip—twice!
    Aiken Legs: Done in succession with no rest* — 15 Squats, 20 Reverse Lunges (10 each leg), 25 RLSU, 25 LLSU, 20 Box Jumps.
    *KennaBrah once again was on his own cadence during LLSU requiring correction to the standard, costing all pax 5 burpees (which also required correction to the standard—inconceivable!)
    Absolutions x10

    Mosey to parking lot for 10 dips IC to warm up the tris for Bears Eat Crabs: all pax assume crab position at the curb and begin crab walking within the width of the parking stripes heading toward the end of the striped parking area (25ish yards), while YHC does 3 burpees before chasing the crabs in bear crawl, tagging them to do 3 burpees and become bears. All pax became bears except The Architect and Pillsbury, well done. Mosey to gym where Knees Over Toes was happening—just because they escaped the playlist to start doesn’t mean they get to finish without it—victory is mine!

    After being mesmerized by Mahatma and Triple Shift, both shirtless, the pax composed themselves (Boo Boo had his shirt off too—now we see where the “Boo” came from): calf raises X a bunch since the counting fell off somewhere along the way. Recover by stretching the calves (place ball of foot only on step, allowing heel to drop toward ground below–flapjack). Next, something new—extended stretch lunges: one foot on ground other outstretched as high up the steps as possible with mid sole on step edge, leaning into deep lunge position push away from outstretched foot until leg fully extends, return/repeat (4 count rep) for 10/leg. Mosey back to flag for COT; remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country and prayers for those with mental illness. Honored, brothers!

  • Im Prompt 2 – from Vagabond

    10 burpees x5
    BLIMPS
    More burpees and bench work
    Mary

  • Afternoon Delight – from Strings

    Usual calesthenics, 4 Rites, PSBs(painfully slow burpees), wind sprints, Qi gong moves, abs callanetics

  • Dream Sequence: Cinco de Mayo AND a Rudy Appearance – from Bolt

    As site Q, YHC psyched to see Cinco de Mayo open since it’s the day that my ancestral people celebrate…u know, Anglo Saxon Americans who pretend to b Mexican as an excuse to drink copious amounts of tequila and cervezas, all the while thinking it’s Mexican Independence Day (NOPE) but I digress…
    Imagine my exuberance when I rolled in hot to Q and saw Rudy—RUDY!—who avoided BC Uptowner since its inception bc he was “training for the Double Nickel” which apparently is now a double nickel and a penny. Really, he just hates burpees and mistakenly thought Mahatma was the Q—jokes on u! This WOULD require an audible, lest I scare Rudy off forever. Warmup of the usual stuff plus 5 burpees added in for Rudy plus it IS Cinco de Mayo.
    The Thang: (descriptions at the end) Start with Plank Hurdles the length of the football field with Bolt’s cringy playlist serenading and mocking us all at the same time. Make our way to the playground equipment for M.A.Y.O. where every letter represents a series of exercises:
    Morning Call (x5)
    Aiken Legs (x23)
    Yurpees (x5)
    Outlaws (x23)
    This is where the audible happened as I had a 100 burpee play list in the queue; switch to more M.A.Y.O.
    Mountain Goats (x23)
    Absolution (x5)
    Yurpees (x5)
    Outlaws (x23) u can’t unsee a group of men’s O faces…

    Return to the flag via backward mosey once on the track as a nod to knees over toes for 5 Yurpees (as Rudy astutely noted we skipped Y and did M.A.O. before leaving the gazebo area) plus Mary to fill the time—no short-changing the pax. Apple Watch said the BD was sufficient as did my sweat soaked shirt—Bogey concurred at coffee. Honored and humbled, men.

    Morning Call
    All but one PAX get into push-up position and hold the up position while one guy counts off doing 5 pull-ups. Every time a pull-up is called out, the PAX does a merkin. After 5 pull-ups, he joins the PAX and the next guy gets up and calls out his 5 pull-ups. The cycle continues until all have performed 5 pull-ups. No one leaves the push-up position unless it’s his turn to call out pull-ups or until all calls have been made.

    Mountain Goats
    Like Mountain Climbers but with an added goat kick (where both legs leave the ground simultaneously) – exercise is done on a four count … three mountain climbers (1 – 2 – 3) and the 4 is the goat kick. Get those legs up high to 45 degrees! Repeato until you’ve had enough.

    Absolution
    Start in plank position and perform a single Groiner (cadence “1” jump feet forward, “2” jump feet back), then Mahktar N’ Diayes to Chillcut position (cadence “3” & “4” with drop to each elbow), then Chilly Jack (cadence “5” feet out, “6” feet together), and finally Mahktar N’ Diayes to plank starting position (cadence “7” and “ONE, TWO, etc.” with rise on each hand).

    Aiken Legs
    Done in succession with no rest — 20 Squats, 20 Box Jumps, 20 Lunges (10 each leg), 20 Split Jacks (10 each leg forward). Rinse and Repeated as many times as you can.

    Yurpee
    Burpee Variation in honor of the Ruskie (Yuri Verkhoshansky) who developed Plyometrics to train Olympians. Merkin at bottom of burpee is a clap-merkin and on up portion there are 2 tuck jumps per burpee. Basically a Clurpee with 2 tuck-jumps.

    Outlaw
    Sitting in the position for flutter kicks, keep your feet together and make a big “O” with them. 10 reps to the right and 10 reps to the left or as many reps as the Q deems necessary.

    Plank Hurdles
    Done on a football field. In small groups of 5-6, everyone starts in the plank position in the end zone. 1st man from each group sprints to the 10 and planks, 2nd sprints, hurdles him, planks on the 20, 3rd man hurdles each, planks on the 30, etc. At the end of the group, 1st man sprints, hurdles everyone, etc. Everyone should finish in a plank in the opposite end zone.

  • Play it Again Sam – from Fast Tax

    Friday, April 21, 2023
    Sixteen PAX appeared from the gloom to end the week on a fun note with Game Day at the Uptowner.

    After dispensing with the disclaimer, while the injured went to the track to walk, the rest of us moseyed a ways to find some lit areas of the park…apparently someone at Pontiff is trying to save the planet, one dark field at a time. Nevertheless, we found a trickle of light by the gym and started our warmups.

    Warmups were a sprinkle of typical Fast Tax fare:
    Abe Vagodas
    Hairy Rockettes
    Nancy Kerrigans
    Swan Dives

    Lining up by the gym parking lot, first up for the pre-game festivities was Indian Rabbit Hop.
    Indian Rabbit Hop: PAX line up, face down in plank position, all facing left with 2-3 feet between PAX. Last man broad-jumps over the planking PAX to the head of the line, Indian Run style. We continued cycling through until YHC said stop.

    Next up was 50 ish yards of Welsh Dragons.
    While remaining in plank position, PAX bear crawls forward 5 yds, does 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each 5 yds – bear crawl forward 5 yds, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We continued until we got to 8 reps each (I think), holding plank for rest of PAX to finish.

    Battle Frisburpee time!
    After a quick review of the rules, the game commenced.

    Team 1 (Skins): Fast Tax, Buxton, Architect, Mayhem, Wedding Planner, Bogey, and Pool Boy
    Team 2 (Shirts): Pilsbury, Logo, Boo-Boo, Bolt, Kuch, Mr. Rogers, Hand Grenada

    Skins clobbered Shirts 5-3

    Back to COT for count off, name o rama, announcements, intentions, & prayer.

    SYITG

  • Play it Again Sam – from Fast Tax

    Friday, April 21, 2023
    Sixteen PAX appeared from the gloom to end the week on a fun note with Game Day at the Uptowner.

    After dispensing with the disclaimer, while the injured went to the track to walk, the rest of us moseyed a ways to find some lit areas of the park…apparently someone at Pontiff is trying to save the planet, one dark field at a time. Nevertheless, we found a trickle of light by the gym and started our warmups.

    Warmups were a sprinkle of typical Fast Tax fare:
    Abe Vagodas
    Hairy Rockettes
    Nancy Kerrigans
    Swan Dives

    Lining up by the gym parking lot, first up for the pre-game festivities was Indian Rabbit Hop.
    Indian Rabbit Hop: PAX line up, face down in plank position, all facing left with 2-3 feet between PAX. Last man broad-jumps over the planking PAX to the head of the line, Indian Run style. We continued cycling through until YHC said stop.

    Next up was 50 ish yards of Welsh Dragons.
    While remaining in plank position, PAX bear crawls forward 5 yds, does 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each 5 yds – bear crawl forward 5 yds, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We continued until we got to 8 reps each (I think), holding plank for rest of PAX to finish.

    Battle Frisburpee time!
    After a quick review of the rules, the game commenced.

    Team 1 (Skins): Fast Tax, Buxton, Architect, Mayhem, Wedding Planner, Bogey, and Pool Boy
    Team 2 (Shirts): Pilsbury, Logo, Boo-Boo, Bolt, Kuch, Mr. Rogers, Hand Grenada

    Skins clobbered Shirts 5-3

    Back to COT for count off, name o rama, announcements, intentions, & prayer.

    SYITG

  • Tongue tied VQ By Pillsbury – from Pillsbury

    I woke up this morning at 4:00 am sharp in anticipation of my VQ. I arrived at the AO 5:05 am and walk the area to scout-out the locations for our morning workout.

    Once that was figured out I sat quietly on a bench waiting for the arrival of the PAX.

    It looked like it was going to be a perfect morning to VQ.

    I made a disclaimer about how i get tongue tied and in true fashion I tripped over my words and TOLD the PAX to HURT THEMSELVES 😳……..

    Instead of “I’m not a professional push yourself DO NOT HURT YOURSELF!”

    Mosey over to a very well light and manicured lawn for Warmorama

    side-straddle hop
    Abe vigoda’s
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backwards
    Self love
    Peter Parker’s

    Mosey over to rock pile to select any size rock and riffle carry to parking lot where we did..……

    Elevens:

    Started with 10 merkins, then proceeded with alternate lunges to first drain in the parking lot, where we did 1 big boy sit ups.
    Back to starting area any way you wanted (walking, bear crawl, hop, skip, etc)
    Repeat and rinse until you had 1 merkin and 10 big boy sit-ups.

    Mosey over to pavilion where we did count down starting at 10

    10 Dips, 10 calf raises, 10 baby crunches
    Repeat and rinse.

    Went back to parking lot picked up our rocks to riffle carry back to rock pile.

    Sprinted back outside of the sable were we proceeded with 10 burpees. With several minutes on the clock PAX step in with some last minute actions to finish the rest of time.

    Ended in Name A-Rama, intentions, and closing prayer

    #KennaBrah #HokiePokey #TheArchitect #Fracsac #WeddingPlanner #Rudy #Scantron #RevSox #TripleShift #Mayhem #Boo-Boo #PoolBoy #Pillsbury

  • Stations of The Cross – from Hokie

    YHC signed up for “Good Friday” with the intent of attempting to focus on the Stations of the Cross.

    As I am not as creative as Rudy, I just created a beatdown with 14 stops for reflection.

    Warm-o-rama welcomed folks with special attention to Good Friday and asking the Pax to PUSH themselves through discomfort while also paying attention to DO NOT HURT YOURSELF as I brought heavy stuff for us to utilize.

    “Tools” incorporated today:
    Dual 5 gallon buckets filled with sand for Farmers Carries
    Single 5 gallon bucket for rifle carries
    Approximately 100# sand bag (My Go Ruck 80# sandbag overstuffed) to carry across the shoulders while focusing on His carrying the cross
    Two different 50″ sand bags for shoulder presses and bench presses

    The THANG
    8 Pax were stationed at 8 stations with the “timer” being the 100# Sandbag “CROSS Carry”

    1. Farmers carry with two 50# sand buckets
    2. T-Merkins
    3. TIMER ~ 100# Sandbag CROSS CARRY
    4. Lunges
    5. 50# Sandbag Bucket Rifle Carry
    6. Step ups
    7. Shoulder presses with 50# sand bag
    8. Chest presses with 50# sand bag

    Rotation from 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1….

    After each round we stopped to reflect on a Station of the Cross….

    oh, i almost forgot… and do burpees!!!

    Most rounds were 10 burpees, except when Jesus was nailed to the cross and when He died, we did 15.

    I am honored to have the opportunity to lead and can only hope those in attendance found it spiritually rewarding

  • Something Simple – Sort Of – from Charmin

    When YHC saw that there wasn’t a Q signed up for the Uptowner, he knew what to do. YHC has noticed a ton of creative, unique, and original beatdowns as of late and wanted to remind the PAX that a beatdown can be something simple.

    So of course, wanting simplicity, when YHC came up to the gate this morning to see it locked, he knew some audibles would need to be called.

    Mosey on over to the rock pile warm-o-rama, picking up Mayhem along the way. Once we get there:

    15 Side Straddle Hops
    05 Imperial Walkers/Squats/Hillbillies (these still need work)
    16 Mountain Man Poopers
    15 Mountain climbers
    15 LBC’s

    The Thang:
    Mosey on over to the practice field and explain
    One PAX always Moseying to the fence and back.

    Blimps

    B – burpees
    L – lunges
    I – imperial walkers
    M – merkins
    P – plank jacks
    S – squats

    The goal was 100 of each exercise for each PAX, and PAX who completed everything could donate reps to other PAX however this was more audacious than YHC thought it would be while laying on his bed the night before.

    Overall though, this workout was about each PAX pushing himself.

    Along the way we picked up a Klinger and a Fozzy.

    With about 5 minutes to spare, we all started to go back to the Shovel Flag. Some Pax being faster than others, they were told to Plank until everyone was there. Once YHC saw that Kenner Brah and Tenderloin were going to be a minute, and as it wasn’t 6:15 yet, I decided to do one of my favorite Mary exercises, Penguins. Once 6:15 hit and we noticed that not all the PAX were back at the Shovel Flag, the idea to move the shovel flag to the PAX was thrown out and quickly executed; talk about Freed to LEAD!

    COT: Prayers were asked for a work colleague of one of the PAX. Ended with a prayer thanking GOD for allowing us to wakeup this morning and that we all have dignity inherint to us.