Alright, gather ’round, you simpletons who think probability is just some wholesome fun. We had the great Zoolander utterly baffling us by the standard “Birthday Paradox” when it came to 60 people, where the odds of a shared birthday are about 90%. Russo, Legal, and the rest of the gang couldn’t wrap their heads around the math; it just wasn’t mathing, because apparently basic probability is a foreign language.
But forget that vanilla paradox. I’ve got a real-world mind-melter for you Zoolander:
What’s the probability that Steve’s oldest child’s English teacher at Mandeville High, a local institution of “higher education”, just so happened to graduate from Crown Point High School in Crown Point, Indiana—a casual 887 miles and a 13-hour drive away—in the exact same year as Jose10K? Even better, they were both on the same wrestling team?
We’re talking about a statistical alignment of the freakin’ cosmos, a convergence of educational paths across state lines so improbable it makes winning the actual lottery look like a daily occurrence. It’s like getting attacked by a brown bear and a grizzly bear on the same day. It’s an event so unlikely, you’d sooner find a coherent thought in Zoolander’s head.
Anywho, that ridiculously improbable situation was the high point of our day, probably because we were both stupid enough to work out in weather so chilly. And yes, I am still shooting for a specific number Steve, hence I am writing this backblast. SYITG

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