F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • We Are All Goose – from America’s Best

    “This is important.” Parting words from a random barefoot downranger (Squanto) on a random Thursday weeks ago.
    Those who agree also know what we owe to our Site Q, the O.G.
    When YHC heard Goose was moving, I began some soul searching (but mostly Internet searching) to figure out some way to keep him with us.
    Inspired by Paradox’s face-swap chops, YHC was looking for a life-size Goose-Goose faceswap. While the Internet provided what was wanted, it also provided what was (unknowingly) needed. In the search results, an old blogpost. Four words:
    “We Are All Goose”
    And with that, the beatdown was born.

    Negative DukeRider! The pattern is full. Get your landing gear down and roll that beauti-
    HOLD up, this is “We are all Goose,” not “We are all Dox”
    (Mental note for future beatdown)

    Warmarama amongst the swarm:
    SSH, windmills, arm circles, self love, maybe more, nobody’s reading this part anyway.

    “We are All Goose” lists 4 characteristics of Top Gun’s Goose. YHC translated each virtue to our fearless leader, and we began to cultivate our Goosiness.

    1. He talks the talk.

    This was originally “he’s the class clown,” but the spirit of it is that Goose ensures what he says is correct and inspiring. The exicon provided us Thang 1 here, with “Coach”:
    Thruple up. Man 1 does a pull-up and holds up position while Man 2 runs around the outbuilding. Meanwhile, Man 3 is Coach (Goose) and provides vocal support. Moroccan Night Clubs were added to Coach position for comedic impact.

    2. He’s got his friends backs

    True of Top Gun Goose and undeniably true of F3 Goose. And for Thang 2 the Exicon gives us
    “Tammy Wynette” (Stand by Your Man)

    Partner up. Man1 stands next to Man2 in high plank. Standing partner squats in unison with ground partner’s merkins. Switch places every 10. YHC decided to show some merkin-mercy here and changed it curls and leg lifts for a bit.

    3. He’s a family man

    Thang 3– Here YHC bastardized the Uptown 50 and fused it with Growing Pains (look them up, they’re in there!)

    MOT was typical parental nocturnal motions: Zombie walking, zombie crawling, and crab walk (result of the ninja move required to escape a sleeping kid’s bed)
    30 Little boys at the first stop, 30 big boys at the second, 30 Manmakers back at the start.
    The exact form of the zombie crawl is still unknown, but depending on the specific technique used, it will abrade part of your legs off.
    T-claps to Dox for suffering through his most hated exercises. Props to Pope for his music appreciation.

    Having raised boys to men, now we pivot to raising girls…
    Princess Tea Party (“This is in the Exicon”)
    Partner up, merkins facing one another, high five ya boy at the top.
    Then, back-to-back partner squats.

    (During this portion of the beatdown, Enron and YHC performed an exercise which will henceforth be know as the “Look Away!” and will never be spoken of again.)

    Which brings us to the final Goosy quality:

    4. He plays volleyball with his shirt on

    Shirtless Maverick plays volleyball IN JEANS. Goose keeps it real, is probably then best athlete, and doesn’t have anything to prove to anybody. Dude walks the walk. With quiet confidence.

    PAX divided into 3 teams. While one takes a run, the other 2 teams play volleyball. The catch: anytime the ball hits the ground, BOTH teams do 3 Goosies. Winner stays on and loser runs.

    YHC opened his big fat stupid mouth on one of these return runs:
    “Come on Goose, open up that stride.”
    Big mistake. Never challenge a Goose. YHC is still winded from trying to keep up.

    One last curveball, because when you’re a family man, just when you think you’ve earned a break, your kid says “Hold me.”
    Mountain climbers while Fleetwood Mac’s “Hold Me” plays. Coupon curl with each “hold me.”

    Back to the flag for Top Gun Anthem and Goose tailgate reveal.

    COT, Goose prayed us out.

    This one was for Goose, but it’s really for all of our F3 PAX. I’m inspired by every one of you. This is important.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

  • 11’s is always a winner – from Kenna Brah

    Warm Ups
    Arm Circles F/B/OH/Seal
    Twists
    Toy Soldiers
    MM Pooper Good Morning
    SSH

    Route 66
    1st Leg – Lunge Between Lamps then 1-11 Merkins
    2nd Leg – Bear Crawl between Lamps then 1-11 Squats
    3rd Leg – Karaoke to Hand Release between maps – 1=11T Merkins
    4th Leg – Share Leadership – Sua Sponte
    ———–

  • DIRTY PAX – from Yankee Joe

    As we near Christmas, you’ll find lost hooligan souls across the world celebrating the gift-giving game of White Elephant, sometimes referred to as Dirty Santa. The men of F3 Thibodaux are no less hooligans, and as such, seven PAX posted at the Den for our first Dirty Pax Exicon Gift Exchange.

    Cardinal, Goose, Pope, Lil’ Cuz, Goldilox, and Honeysuckle all deserved much worse than coal in their stockings. They needed the humility that can only be forged by cringe worthy Christmas songs.
    —————————————
    Warmarama
    The usual suspects with two Christmassy baubles tossed in…

    The Randy – from “A Christmas Story” when lilttle Randy’s coat was so big, he couldn’t move his arms – thus arms straight out to side, palms down, flapping 6 to 12 inches repeatedly.

    Tempo Jump Squats doing our best to mimic Santa jumping down and then up out of a chimney
    —————————————-
    Dirty PAX Setup

    – Pax in a circle with a pile of “gifts” in the middle. Each gift is an exercise.
    – Pax 1 chooses gift, reveals to PAX; PAX then completes exercise
    – Pax 2 chooses to steal Pax 1’s exercise or choose from the gift pile an so on
    – If a Pax gets his gift stolen, he needs to pick a new one, which the PAX then completes

    Rules:
    – Gifts can be stolen only twice before it is locked in
    – For each exercise, the PAX completes the chosen gift AMRAP for two minutes to a carefully curated musical stink bomb of YHC’s choice.

    Objective:
    – The gift/exercise you end up with is the exercise you will do AMRAP for the last five minutes of the beatdown. So, being strategic about which exercise you hold at the end is essential.

    NOTE: This did not happen. YHC was having too much fun with the (awful) playlist along with the ridiculousness of two-minute HIITs.

    Potential Gifts:

    burpees
    mtn climbers
    SSH
    gas pumpers
    J-Lo’s
    jump squats
    apollo ono’s
    high knee imperial walkers (for speed)
    shark hops – plank jack on each hop (3 per rep)
    25 yrd suicide ascending and descending
    hand release merkins
    25 yard bear crawl/crab walk back
    T-Bomb
    sweat angels
    The Bruce and the Cait
    Goosey’s
    hydraulic humpers
    sandstorm
    Jiminy Crickets
    star crunches

    =================================

    How It Went Down (in no particular order)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: The Bruce and The Cait (Merkin with one leg crossed over the other; switch legs at bottom of merkin)

    Song: “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber (nothing like serenading “shawty” on Christmas)

    *You will find further commentary at the end of the blast
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hand Release Merkins

    Song: “Christmas In Hollis” by Run D.M.C.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Shark Hops (like a dolphin hop, but on each “hop” do a plank jack; the dolphin hop is dead)

    Song: “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy
    ——————————————–
    GIft: Goosey’s (bonnie blair into a jump squat; after the shark hops, these were especially miserable)

    Song: “What You Want for Christmas” by Quad City D.J.s (this is a real banger and should be on everyone’s Christmas playlist)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Sandstorm (full vertical, jump repeatedly with arms straight up)

    Song: As Lil’ Cuz and others pointed out, the song should have been Sandstorm by Darude, but alas, ‘tain’t the season. So, “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber and (wait for it) Busta Rhymes
    ——————————————–
    Gift: J-Lo’s

    Song: “Last Christmas” by Wham (a guilty pleasure of many, most notably, Montana)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: T-Bomb (crab position, shoot legs straight, feet together; then legs straight and spread, then feet back together and legs straight, then back to crab)

    Song: “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” By Augie Rios

    *This gift was intended to be the exercise of Cardinal’s dreams. It ended up being a nightmare for all of us.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hydraulic Humpers (monkey humper, at the NADIR of the humper, double genuflect, then finish the humper)

    Song: “Holiday Road” by Lindsey Buckingham

    *There was initial debate between El Ganzo and YHC over the definition of ‘nadir’, however, Honeysuckle spoke his truth and the matter was settled. Then there was debate about the mechanics of the humper -again – from the head honko, which then opened the gates for the rest of the PAX to start honking.

    Once we started and achieved some sort of rhythm, the mechanics fell into place. These were brilliant…with the genuflects at the NADIR of the humper, your glutes and quads are engaged the entire time. The hydraulic humper brought us to the NADIR of the beatdown. I wasn’t sure we would recover. The nadir line is that we need to see these again.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Apollo Ono’s

    Song: “All I Really Want for Christmas” by Lil’ John feat. Kool Aid Man
    ——————————————–

    There was a last gift, but I can’t remember what it was. What’s important is that it was accompanied by the musical stylings of “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by NYSNC.

    YHC called off the torture (the exercises were kinda tough too) with three minutes remaining. To finish, the PAX did 25 yard suicides in increments of five, then once at the 25-yard mark, crab walk back to start.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Though my timing was off a bit on this one, I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard…well, that and the Goosey’s.

    ===========================

    A Quick Cup of Jeaux:

    I just assume the conversation between Bieber and his producers went like this:

    Producers: Hey Lil’ J, we were thinking…well…in consideration of the fact that you sing like a girl, and that you have blond streaks in your hair, and that you wear low hip, tapered, skinny jeans, and that you’re like 12 years old…

    Bieber: Guiltyyyyy!

    Producers: Yeahhh…Well, we’d like you to change some of your lyrics to stay more on brand.

    Bieber: Ummm…ok. Should I start lifting weights? Wear straight fit jeans?

    Producers: Soo yeah…actualy, we’d like you to replace the word “girl” in your songs with “shawty.”

    Bieber: Aww yeahhh…Hizzy to the yizzy!

    Producers: Also, any chance you’d be willing to drive a Prius?

  • Burpeepalooza – from Bolt

    YHC took a late night Q spot and sprinted from the car to the flag while giving the disclaimer at 5:29/30 (finding out post workout that it dashed KennaBrah’s hopes to Q) with a call to the pax to circle up midfield for warmorama featuring Frac’s favorite song and the usual stuff.

    The Thang: mosey to goal line and plank across the end zone for plank hurdles: pax one sprints to the 10 yd. Line and planks while pax two sprints/hurdles pax one, assuming high plank 10 yds. further awaiting all subsequent pax to repeat all the way to the opposite goal.

    Mosey to the playground for Morning Calls: all pax high plank along the border and each pax goes to pull up bar for a called five count whereby pax merkin the reps and retime to plank until all pax do pull ups.

    Mosey to the gym parking where YHC shared its Burpeepalooza; this pleased Bogey…immensely—not. A playlist designed with each song featuring a word/catchphrase that implores all pax to burpee and then return to a given movement (SSH, IW, Air press, Hillbillies). After song two made our legs very heavy (YHC also forgot a phrase initiated the burpee and not the word he incorrectly gave, leading to lots of confusion and even more mumblechatter—so this is what being a chaos monkey is like!), YHC offered the pax a choice by majority rule: more burpees or decadie of pain. Decadie it is: 1 min Al Gore followed by 30 mountain climbers. Surprise! Back to Burpeepalooza followed by a second round of decadie (this is where four “water breaks” in a row were rolled and we don’t do that crap in F3) so we finally landed on (2) 30x American Hammers. One final burpeepalooza song followed by a mosey to the flag, which YHC sprinted, causing enough heavy breathing to make Mahatma and Bogey wonder if I was ok.
    COT, honored as always, men!

  • It’s beginning to look a lot like bridge-mas – from Russo

    Low 50s again this morning, with a nice breeze to accompany us. Unlike the A1C, no early to mid 90s R&B, but maybe there will be soon.

    Warmup (all 10x – 15x)
    – seal jacks
    – Self love
    – Grass grabbers
    – Toe touches
    – Cherry pickers
    – High knees
    – Hillbillies

    Thang
    Mosey to the bridge, where at every block it was 10 merkins, 10 squats, 10 donkey kicks

    At the bridge:
    One side – 10 crunchy frogs
    Mosey
    Other side – 10 leg raises

    Rinse and repeat, swapping mosey for Carioca, side shuffle, and back pedal intermittently.

    Back at the pad, COT, NOR, Announcements, and Prayer closed us out.

    The same good mumblechatter throughout, where Pelican and I solved the world’s business problems. You should join us for enlightenment.

    Easy come, easy go. SYITG

  • Return of the Mack – from Jose10k

    Oh, oo-o-oh, come on, ooh, yeah
    Well I tried to tell you so (yes, I did)
    But I guess you didn’t know, as I said the story goes
    Baby, now I got the flow
    ‘Cos I knew it from the start
    Baby, when you broke my heart
    That I had to come again, and show you that I’m real
    all those times I said that I love you
    (You lied to me) yes, I tried, yes, I tried
    (You lied to me) even though you know I’d die for you
    (You lied to me) yes, I cried, yes, I cried
    1-(Return of the Mack) it is
    (Return of the Mack) come on
    (Return of the Mack) oh my God
    (You know that I’ll be back) here I am
    (Return of the Mack) once again
    (Return of the Mack) pump up the world
    (Return of the Mack) watch my flow
    (You know that I’ll be back) here I go

    You got to love that 1996 r&b classic. Why do I start the backblast with this: DarkWing returned to the A1C today. After the Flu wage war with his family for over a month, the Darkwing Clan is officially healthy, so we finally have Return of the Duck.

    Warmup-SSH, grassgrabbers, merkins, squats, etc…
    The Q sheet was open, so it was sort of a brain storming type of beatdown. We started off with 11s: Squats and Merkins, followed up with round robin core with Moby stretches. COT with DarkWing praying us out. Movie night was a success, Shooter is slowly nursing injuries caused from picking a fight with the tax dollars of the city of Mandeville (God Help those Deer this weekend), and we had a BBQ sighting. Waterpik has the Q tomorrow.
    Next Friday: Back by popular demand, the celebration of the tragedy that struck the Nakatomi Plaza beatdown will occur. Come on Splash Pad, join in our remembrance of the heroics of one Mr. John McClain. SYITG

  • That’s gonna leave a mark!! – from Shooter

    With 5 PAX this gloom YHC decided to take a stroll down East causeway on a tour of our future sidewalk to be. Of course being the critic that I can often be, I expressed my comments about how we spend tax dollars here in Mandeville, as if maybe I know better. Nevertheless, as we continued to mosey turning down Monroe, YHC quickly found the elevated drain, which would quickly humble this critic as I took a plunge on to the pavement… Must admit if any of my F3 brethren ever want to trade professions any one of them would make great first responders as they quickly jumped to action in concern of my fall.. Much appreciated find gentleman!!

    Enough with my mishaps..

    Began with 10&15 IC, Hillbillies, Toe Touches, SSH, Imperial walkers, Torso twists and a wonderful stretch movement shared by Einstein the previous day.

    Our Mosey was down East causeway, up Monroe, back down through old Golden shores around and back to Monroe returning up Messina and around the horn of the park.

    Finished with Mary 15IC and some OYO exercises 💯s, Big Boys, Hello Dollies, Flutter kicks, WW1 sit-ups and some EOKs..

    Appreciate each of you for your concerns of my safety and allowing me to lead!!

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Operation Mystery at The Gloom – from Charmin

    The Gloom welcomed the PAX with open arms, a chilly breeze, and the distinct feeling that today’s workout would be anything but ordinary. After the obligatory disclaimer, the PAX divided into their respective groups – the Ruckers, the Runners, and the enigmatic KnOTers.

    The Thang:

    1. Ruckers’ Ruckmageddon:

    The Ruckers set off with the weight of the world on their shoulders, literally. Their backpacks filled with bricks, sandbags, paincakes, and a mysterious concoction of items designed to keep them guessing, the Ruckers marched into the shadows. Paces were swapper, rucks were shared, and we all tried keeping up with (Usain) Bolt.

    2. Runners’ Sprint-a-thon:

    The Runners, with their sleek running shoes and GPS watches, bolted into the distance. The route was straightforward , but somehow the Runners managed to take a detour through the local donut shop. Rumors of an impromptu coffee break spread like wildfire. Corralling the fleet wsd as effective as trying to herd cats.

    3. KnOTers’ Mystery Madness:

    Now, the KnOTers, the mysterious sect of F3, quietly appeared from the shadows. Armed with ropes, carabiners, and whatever else they keep behind the telephone pole, they set out on an unknown mission. What they do in the gloom remains a mystery, for they are like F3’s own secret agents, vanishing into thin air after the other groups have long returned.

    COT:

    The Circle of Trust brought laughter, confusion, and a sense of accomplishment. YHC, still trying to figure out where the Runners went off course, encouraged the PAX to embrace the mystery of the gloom. Sometimes the unplanned detours lead to the best stories.

    Announcements:

    “Q School” for the Runners next week – a crash course in map reading and avoiding temptation.
    The KnOTers invite you to join their secret society; inquire within.
    Ruckers, next time, check your backpacks for stealthy squirrels. They seem to enjoy hitching a ride.

    Moleskin:

    In the end, the Ruckers bore the weight, the Runners found donuts, and the KnOTers… well, who knows? The Gloom witnessed another memorable F3 beatdown, leaving the PAX with sore muscles, mysterious grins, and the anticipation of the next adventure in the shadows.

  • Peaches and Practice – from Charmin

    The night before the site Q asked who wanted to take the Q and YHC had been mulling a workout around a playlist based on the word “peaches”. Also decided to make the counts alternating 12 and 13 since that was the date (not sure if any of the PAX caught on to that).

    Started off slow with Warm -o- Rama

    Balance IW x 12 (slow 4 count forcing the pax to balance)
    Grass Grabbers x 13
    Around this time Mayhem decided to show up; apparently the train from Metairie was running late this morning.
    This resulted in a penalty of 3 burpees for everyone OYO.
    Slow vagoda’s x 12
    SSH X 13
    Balance Billies x 12 (another great balance warm up)

    Mosey over to JPAX

    17’s from post to columns, with the two exercises being Monkey humpers & SSH.
    No middle but squat every time you hear the magic word… peaches!

    Playlist consisted of Songs by Justin Bieber, Bob Schneider, Jack Black, In the Valey Below, and The Presidents of the United States of America. All the songs were title Peaches, so there was certainly time to grease the squat groove.

    Mosey back to playground pad.

    Merkin for 1 minute working on perfect form then rest for 30 seconds

    Then hang for 1 minute rest for 30 seconds

    Ended up having 2 groups that switched between these two and we did this for 7 cycles.

    Not wanting to leave the people feeling like they weren’t getting their money’s worth next up was Arm circles!!

    Forward X 12
    Seal claps X 13
    Backwards x 12
    T claps X 13
    Peaches picking and dropping silent 12 count
    MNC’s X 13

    Decided to end with some comradery with Partner shrugs for 12. Apparently Triple shift wasn’t feeling it since he didn’t have a partner.

    COT.

  • Block Time at The Gipper – from Einstein

    Cool temps this morning ~ 38 degrees. Shooter and Akbar not deterred by the cold, still wearing shorts

    warm-up: toe touch, side straddle hops, arm circles, imperial walkers, neck rolls, shoulder rolls, side stretch, shoulder thrust, smurf jacks, etc.

    thang: 3 sets of block work, each separated by a run around the block.

    mary: world’s greatest stretch, BBQ’s hip flexor stretch

    prayer: Akbar did the honors