May is a month of many joys and sorrows. Of course, the sorrow is a little exclusive to our pecs, triceps, and just our bodies in general. May is also the month of Mary, the mother of God (who is another comfort we don’t deserve).
In recent months, YHC has read/heard about many incredible apparitions of Our Lady, and in many of them she requested—or sometimes earnestly begged with tears in her eyes—for the Rosary to be prayed daily by her children on earth. These requests gradually grew more personal for YHC and became less of a request and more of a calling. YHC thanks God for F3 and Mary for her incredible patience; F3 helped YHC to shake off average teenage-level laziness (well, become less accustomed to it), and YHC finally praying the Rosary daily, as part of a DIY retreat.
The spiritual fruits of that growing devotion have been subtle thus far, but phenomenal.
YHC arrived at the Lion’s… uh… the Civic Center with Goose at about 4:50 to set up, and within five minutes of our arrival we were surprised to see White Meat pull up with newly christened Huffy in tow. WM actually looked at the time as YHC and Goose jogged to the levee to lay out the cones.
We set five cones at four different spots around the levee: at both ends of the bridged gap over the middle of the pond (with two at the far side) and at opposite ends of the long way across the pond. Each cone had under it a slip of paper listing four different mysteries of the Rosary, one from each of the four sets (the Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful, and Glorious Mysteries), chosen by the number stage at which it was set. For example, stage 1 featured the first of each of the 4 mysteries.
YHC and Goose returned at exactly 5:15 and executed Warmarama, then the PAX moseyed to the levee where YC gave the rundown. About a third of the way through the thang the wind was accompanied by a light rain, and YHC began to worry—one leaflet had already been blown into the pond and was barely readable… thankfully the rain provided no problems, only a refreshing sprinkle.
Exercises were assigned to each mystery with at least somewhat biblical connections. The mysteries and their corresponding exercises were as follows:
MOT between stages: 10 burpee broad jumps, run remainder
First Stage
· Joyful- The Annunciation (Luke 1:26-38)- 15 genuflections
· Luminous- The Baptism of Jesus (Matthew 3:13-17)- 30 scuba steves
· Sorrowful- The Agony in the Garden (Mark 14:32-42)- 30 sec mission impossible
· Glorious- The Resurrection (John 20:1-10)- 10 burpees
Second Stage
· Joyful- The Visitation (Luke 1:39-45)- 15 jump squats
· Luminous- The Wedding Feast at Cana (John 2:1-11)- 25 wife pleasers
· Sorrowful- The Scourging at the Pillar (John 19:1)- 25 merkins
· Glorious- The Ascension (Acts 1:6-11)- 15 star jumps
Third Stage
· Joyful- The Birth of Christ (Luke 2:1-7)- 30 LBCs
· Luminous- The Proclamation of the Kingdom (pretty much the meat of the Gospels)- 20 monkey humpers
· Sorrowful- The Crowning with Thorns (John 19:1-5)- 20 Carolina dry docks
· Glorious- The Descent of the Holy Spirit on the Apostles (Acts 2:1-13)- run up/down the levee 10 times
Fourth Stage
· Joyful- The Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:22-38)- 8 8-count body builders
· Luminous- The Transfiguration (Luke 9:28-36)- 10 hurpees (hand-release burpees)
· Sorrowful- The Carrying of the Cross (Luke 23:26-32)- 15 lunges
· Glorious- The Assumption of Mary (CCC 966)- 20 heels to heaven
Fifth Stage
· Joyful- The Finding of the Christ Child in the Temple (Luke 2:41-52)- BBSU
· Luminous- The Institution of the Eucharist (Luke 22:14-20)- 15 genuflections
· Sorrowful- The Crucifixion (John 19:17-30)- 15 X-factors (feet stationary)
· Glorious- The Coronation of Mary as Queen of Heaven and Earth (Revelation 12:1)- 25 freddy mercuries
After all things had taken place, the PAX picked up and headed back to the flag for COT, with the 6 coming in at exactly 6:00 to complete a morning of excellent timing. The rugby shirt had come into Honey Suckle’s possession because of a comment toward its previous owner, and he “waited for a sign” to show its next PAX to weigh down. That sign came in the form of Lil Cuz‘s comment on how Suckle was the only one thus far who hadn’t sweat through it. COT and Cuz prayed us out.
F3 has proven to be somewhat pivotal in my slowly maturing prayer life, as I’m sure can be said for many of us. One sign that a beatdown is particularly grueling is if the physical begins to translate to spiritual (e.g. “Lord, I offer this next desperate burst of merkins for…”). It’s in those moments when I remember that Mary brings our own prayers to God and, as any mother would, pleads for Him to grant them. What I like to do before each beatdown is choose someone or something in need of prayers or for whom I simply wish well, and if you don’t do this already, I highly recommend it. Same with a daily Rosary—there have been a few times were I could vaguely sense a fraction of Mary’s reaction at my saying yes to her appeals to pray the Rosary. Mary, more than anyone, knows that nothing is impossible for God, and if any one of her children are in need, she will storm the gates of Heaven to see those needs met. Mary loves us more than we could know, and, like the perfect mother she is, is more than happy to invoke God’s graces to provide for our needs. Again, another comfort we don’t deserve.
SYITG, Pope
Category: Backblasts
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Suck/Offer it Up by Pope – from Goose
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Bring on the BEAST!! – from Shooter
Boy that’s a big statement coming from a guy who was in then out, in again out again and now yes it’s official. Or maybe I was simply acting like an M on a date night trying to decide if this restaurant or that restaurant is what I want… All I do know is the motivation came from many. Started with my brothers Hammer/Zoolander. Then the consistent nudges of Bushwacker, which everyone knows is the most persistent of CSAUP advocates on the planet.. Then, who truly wants to decline the always happy and smiling Steve? Or the just so happened bump into the freshly returned Manny at planet fitness simply stating yeah I am in… I must be honest though the icing on the cake was a post by BD (MarshMadness) title holder for 2024 that sealed the deal. There is something about a new F3 brethren who initially posted with Ruckers but decided now it’s time to get ready and join the runners at the Scramble.. And get this, Zoolander and I were informed he has begun the QSOURCE podcast already… So, YHC brought out the coupons (cylinder blocks) to get some hardness started on the PAX soft hands… No one brings gloves to the Scramble 😬😬..
Warmup 5 one min intervals, Curls, Presses, Left one arm rows, Right one arm rows and SSH.
10IC Imperial walkers and Grass GrabbersRuckers 18 out and back and Runners the ole traditional with Hermitage loop and 3/4 loop around the park on return..
Announced the Murph on Monday at the Marsh with Akbar at 0630 with coffateria to follow..
Zoolander as promised an introduction of some obstacles to expect for the BEAST…VQ coming for Brexit Saturday at the Mothership (sorry to miss). I know he will crush it..
Great morning, with great men and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!
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24142 Venti – from Sea Man
A gentle breeze tampered the humidity. The Pax sojurned up through Tulane and the Cemetery Route! Despite the coolish wx Bad Moon still managed to sweat so much Star Bucks mop team wanted to block his entry. Also had Fredo, Kotter his way back to the Pax! For those interested we are 1 month away from Venti’ 1yr Birthday, and the Venti has been enjoying the inclusion of 2.0s!
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Cindy Workout from Houston – from Charmin
Being that YHC posted #DownRange last week in North Houston (NoHo) and there wasn’t a Q signed up yet as of Tuesday night, a cross region rinse & repeat presented itself as an option.
WARMUP:
10 – Side Straddle Hops
10 – Abe Vigodas
10 – Grass GrabbersIt was here that our regional Nantan, FartSack, decided to join us, so in his Honor, we all did 5 burpees.
10 – Mountain Man Poopers
10 Arm Circles F/B/SC/OHC/MNC
Mosey out to JPAX
THE THANG:
6 Stations 3:30 minutes each
Arms
3×10 – Curls
3×10 – Shoulder Press
3×10 – Up Right RowsCalf Raises
3×10 – Reg
3×10 – Out
3×10 – InThigh
3×10 – Lunge
3×10 – Step Ups
3×10 – Imperial WalkersButt
3×10 – Goblet Squats
3×10 – Monkey Humpers
3×10 – Jump SquatsAbs
3×10 – LBC’s
3×10 – WWII Sit-ups
3×10 – V-UpsChest
3×10 – Cindy 1 Arm Merkin
3×10 – Merkins
3×10 – Wide MerkinsRecover
Put up coupons and head back to the Pad
Head Exercises – Each Pax gives a piece of advice and a 5 Count exercise.
Ended with 5 Burpees OYO.
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Count it out in Months – from Squints
Not sure if we’ve met. I’m JBL Flip 6, but you can call me JB, that’s what my cool master calls me. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. That’s a really long time. I was being held tight Saturday morning at 0630 and could feel the surge of my partner that was connecting us. My partner is an iphone. Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous ‘cause he gets all the attention. But when he needs to be heard, I’m front and center! I started dropping my jams from my partner, which was 90s alternative rock. Not my favorite, but I still dig it. I was thinking my master was about to drop the hammer….then this guy Squints starts talking. He gave a great disclaimer then took us to the peristyle and got us warmed up. I’ve never seen pax move to “I’m just a Girl” from No Doubt like they did. It’s no Xanadu, but it is what it is. This Squints guy knows his stuff, he must be well experienced in this Q leadership thing. With the warmup over, I’m sure my main man is going to take charge. Then Squints says let’s mosey. I don’t know what’s happening. I’m picked up and off we go behind the coffee place where I’ve seen guys clean up in the past. I guess they don’t do that anymore. It looks clean and they probably still take credit. I need to dial up a tune on consistency, or maybe iphone can do an ebook about doing hard things.
Squints leads the pax to the island behind the coffee shop where some benches are located. I get set on one next to iphone. I’m having a good time just blaring out some Chris Cornell. He’s the best. I hear Squints ask my master if he knows how old he is in months. There’s no way he knows, he’s not very smart. I’m 24 months, he can’t be much more. I was right, he didn’t know. So Squints tells them he designed a routine that will total the months of age of my master. I thought I heard 650 months, but I must have misunderstood. My master is deaf, which apparently was passed on to me. They did bear crawls over 2 bridges, ‘mericans, reverse sweat angels, air presses in the peoples chair, step ups, and jump squats. Doing that for 5 rounds is supposed to total somewhere around 650 reps. I probably missed something because I got left at the island. I was eventually brought back at the end when everyone was finished. I was ready for my fearless leader to do something super original. Squints hands the Q off for the last evolution! Yes, this is gonna be awesome! My idol takes us back toward the great lawn and stops at the light poles in the parking lot. I got my hopes up for nothing. I forgot how disappointing this guy is. He’s certainly no Squints. We do a route 54 with burpees, which was 9 at the first pole, 9 at the second, then 8, then 7, and so on. That totals 54 when all done. Once complete, they did some Mary where I was in the middle, which is where I belong, then back to the flag. If this were a Q vs Q, Squints would have won for sure. -
A to ‘ – from America’s Best
YHC arrived early (15 seconds before Goose), full of stoke for this beatdown, but mostly for da playlist. Had one full Hawaii playlist ready, but last night, no reason, YHC switched ‘em out for one playlist of all cover songs. And, like one log cruising over da waterfall in slow motion, they were glorious. . .
Suddenly, something even more exciting:
“Hey guys, this is Austin.” White Meat had brought an FNG.
My brain squirrel jumped on the thinkin’ wheel, and the gears that push the struts that crank the wheels on the train of thought began to turn.
Austin—>Austin Powers—> Richie Cunningham … but that would have to wait.
It was time for: The Disclaimer.
YHC could not remember all the points of the disclaimer. Luckily Paradox, playing Cyrano to my Christian, stood right next to me feeding me the lines. I tried to talk over him, but we all know the futility of that. I swear I didn’t see this coming when I started this analogy, but Paradox is the perfect Cyrano due to their shared love of Roxan(n)e.Standard Warmarama
SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, William Mayweather Hayes, Mountain Climbers, Arm Circles, cherry pickersBumper mosey, but there was no bumper! YHC became disoriented and ran in a wandering loop… really all part of the strategy to get to higher mileage… more on that later.
Da Kine:
Many months ago, Enron gifted us all with an A to Z beatdown, assigning an exercise to each letter of the alphabet. YHC immediately recognized the value of this “Rosetta Stone of Exicon” and began planning an homage to (ripoff of) that beatdown.
And so da kine would be the same as Enron’s, but using the Hawaiian alphabet, which contains only 13 letters (if you count the okina, which I did).
They would be:
A – Aloha, Merkins (which are just merkins)
E – Elbow plank
I – Imperial Walkers
O – Okole Rollers (BBS)
U – Upright Rows
H – Humuhumunukunukuapua’a Humpers
K – Kurls
L – Lunges
M – Merkins
N – No, Oh Nos
P – Push-up Pimp Merkins (which are just merkins)
W – WW2 Sit ups
‘ – Prime Time MerkinsAt the last moment, YHC added that designation to the Humpers, challenging anyone to pronounce the state fish of Hawaii. Pope nailed it immediately, completely demoralizing YHC. Mahalo, Disney.
Because the number of letters is fewer, the number of reps would be higher. YHC loves to test the brainpower of the PAX, so I let everyone know that the number would be 49, and asked if anyone knew the significance of that number. Almost in unison, the PAX fell into my trap. “Because Hawaii is the 49th state.”
No! No no no. Trick question! Hawaii is the 50th state, and we will do 50 reps of each.
I can only assume these dudes are streaming “Hawaii 4-9” on WebFlix.Like Captain Cook, we circled 2 laps around the island between sets. Sometime during one of those laps, YHC had the epiphany that I had chosen a playlist of all covers, and WetTap fartsacked his Q yesterday, remaining under his covers. This beatdown would be dedicated to WetTap.
The PAX impressively stuck together through the first 3 or 4 letters, then began to stretch into a greater distance between men. It was interesting to see how each of us had our strengths and weaknesses. My biggest weakness? I care too much.
We ended with more music trivia, and the PAX performed well, racking up only 7 penalty burpees for missed answers. A final double-or-nothing question was offered and quickly accepted: “Who is the music playlist dedicated to, and why?”
Goose almost nailed it (“because we covered his Q yesterday”). Actually, his logic was better than mine. Anyway, we did 10 burpees.COT
FNG became who he was meant to be: Huffy.
Rugby Jersey of Competitive Prowess bestowed upon Honeysuckle (anything to try and slow that man down)Paradox prayed us out.
SYITG,
ABAB Sees: That sometimes you gotta rule wit one iron fist. ‘Specially when you might be wrong.
Aftah da beatdown, my Apple Watch wen read 2.89 miles. One more lap around would give us all solid 3 miles.
But had some controversy. Mo advanced running calculators worn by mo advanced runners wen show one lower mileage count. My argument: Everybody know Apple technology, while not da best, is mo common and accepted mo universally. So it wins. Kinda like [insert hated presidential candidate]. (See also: Yankee Jeaux’s iPhone conversion).
Knowing I was up against bettah technology, YHC tried fo shut it down quick. “3 miles, I’m da Q.”History is written by da victors, so one final lap would give us 3 full miles.
Naha stone drop.(true story: 5-year old AB talked like that, much to the dismay of his poor mother)
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What a stormy night – from Mambi
The storm the night before definitely kept most PAX home. With the exception of 3 including YHC. The track was too wet for the normal Wally Sprint so the 3 PAX decided to run the traditional Wally Run. It was a great run with great conversation and a lot of encouragement. The F2 was the best part of the run. Thanks Pia Gow and Triple Shift.
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Impromptu Q for two – from Kenna Brah
Seeing MacGyver was attending to a family emergency, YHC found himself paired with Space Cowboy. After warmups, Mosied to the JPAS for coupons. With said coupons held with arms at 90, walk backwards up ramp, then 10 step ups. Back down and around 3x, repeat same circuit but with block manmakers 10x, 3 rounds. Space had to leave early, so we nosied back for COT.
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Where’s the Beast?? – from Goose
Last night, Wet Tap posted a hype GIF with Belle asking a mirror to “Show me the Beast!” What we didn’t know was that he was trying to tell us that that’s exactly what we’d be doing this morning as 5:15 rolled around , looking for the Beast. But, the Beast was nowhere to be found, unless you count when Smooth, took his shirt off about halfway through (big, hairy, grunting). YHC assumed that Tap was either enjoying a testosterone induced sleep or stabbing some early spines, so we began a warm-up with a none-too-excited PAX while formulating the first thang of what would be stereotypically difficult round robin.
YHC took the first thang, an inevitable Dora consisting of everyone’s favorite four exercises: 100 Merkens, 200 curls, and 300 big boy sit-ups; partner runs a lap around the track. It was supposed to be 200 situps and 300 curls, but Popeye really wanted to get to those curls, so the abs got a little more attention this morning.
Popeye Q’d next, thankfully, with a little more creativity. Each man took a turn murder bunny-ing across the field and running back while the rest of the PAX stayed and did an exercise AMRAP of the traveling man’s choosing. Pop started us off and assigned Apollo Onos. YHC assigned Toe-tappers, Lil Cuz gave squats (what are those?), Smooth doled out suicides, and Pope followed his lead with side shuffles. Then once all PAX had traversed the field, Popeye put the icing on the cake by having all run the half lap to retrieve the coupons, do five man-makers, and murder bunny back to the start.
Now, it was Little Cuz’s turn, and after a couple of much needed 10-counts, he decided to take it easy on us. Wait, no, he didn’t. Per usual round robin dynamics, he would not be outdone, and matter-of-factly stated that we would each be doing 100 Merkins followed by a little bit of Mary. Thankfully, the Form Police, though brought up in conversation, did not make an appearance this morning, and we finished with a couple of minutes holding 6 inches.
COT and Cuz prayed us out.
It was so good having Smooth Operator back in the mix! Pope may be able to say “OK” just like him, but nobody can replace the uniquely awesome mix of tenacity and humility that he brings to the group. Keep it up, buddy!
SYITG,
Goose -
Always a Gunner – from Safety Valve
YHC pulled up to scope things (and maybe come up with a beatdown idea) slightly earlier than usual. The air was thick and electric – the thunderstorm and lightening had YHC questioning if he should just turn around and say he overslept. Then he remembered that White Meat HC’d the night before. YHC couldn’t let a good chance go to waste to hurt that man again. In the wise words of our feathered leader, “we do not deserve to be comfortable.”
Warmaramma
SSH
High knees (the real kind)
Butt kicks
Willy mays hays (very slow)
mountain climbers
Arm circles forward and backward
Cherry PickersThang
With it being the last weekend of premier league soccer (YHC’s team is in the running for the title this year) and YHC’s first Saturday Q, playing some sort of soccer was on the docket. But first, some time had to be “wasted”. We moseyed over to the ED white stadium.
1 mile run under 8 minutes was ordered – everyone complied and no dishonorable discharges had to be handed out. Dox and Honeysuckle led the group with around a 7 minute pace. There was some discontent in our little group of Ronnie, Goose, Pope, and YHC. Ronnie was helping to set our pace, but a backhanded compliment about being a good person to draft behind from Goose sent Ronnie into a new level. We finished with a 7:20 pace. White meat, Popeye and Wet tap were close one our heels.
Next, the rules of our main event was explained. We would be playing soccer, with traditional soccer rules. No throwing the ball, no punting the ball. Just plain old soccer, using your feet. There would be 3 teams all playing at the same time with one ball. In essence each team had a goal to defend and two goals they could score on. Once a team was scored on, they would be out of the game and would have to do big boy sit ups until the last team was knocked out. If someone shot and missed the goal, that entire team had to do 3 burpees. Having three teams vs two added just the perfect amount of chaos that was needed to fulfill a F3 Saturday beatdown. Three separate games were played with a “halftime” show in between each game.
Halftime show #1 – Tubchumper by Chumpawampa
SSH for duration of song with burpee for every “I get knocked down..”Halftime show #2 – Stairway to heaven
For the duration of the song: bearcrwal to 10 yardline and do 10 merkins and sprint back, bearcrawl to 20 yardline and do 20 merkins and sprint back, etc until the song was over. This wasn’t received well.Observations :
#1 – Pope is athletic. I’m not sure he ever touched a soccer ball before, but he schooled most of us, including YHC.
#2 – White meat has balled before – don’t let that innocent face convince you otherwise
#3 – Goose is competitive, we know this. But, soccer is his weakness. I think it’s because he can’t just toss people over his shoulder in soccer. It’s frowned upon. File this away for another day.
#4 – What Goose lacks in soccer skills though, he makes up for it in fatherhood. Seeing Duke literally give whatever he can to the group is amazing to watch. This 4 year old’s insight of the world is so advanced for his age. He felt like he wasn’t able to contribute to his team playing soccer since his Dad was trying to run him over, but he saw a need elsewhere. He became the best ball boy any soccer pitch has ever seen. T-claps for sure.
#5 – YHC team was full of all-stars: Lil Cuz is a master shot stopper, his skills could only be compared to Wet tap playing ultimate frisbee. Popeye was the only level minded person on the field when he decided that just playing defense is the way – let the other two teams full of cavemen go after one another first. Brilliant! See #4 for Duke.We made it back to flag with 3 minutes to spare. YHC thought hard about ending the beatdown early, but once again, I couldn’t let White Meat down. We laid down in the mud puddles and completed 3 minutes of Mary. Announcements were made. The rugby jersey was handed from Lil Cuz to YHC – he must have appreciated the bearcrawl to heaven earlier. Lil Cuz prayed us out.
Thanks for coming out this morning and playing some weird sport that not many people are into. Always a pleasure to lead
