F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • St. Joseph and a Psycho Killer – from Goose

    There are rare occasions upon which YHC comes to discover that his firm opinions about some or other aspect of life may not be as accurate or informed as he once thought. And, sometimes, on even rarer occasions, YHC might even seek out deeper or unknown aspects of a particular area of life that much of the population seem to value but YHC sees as worthless or worse. This morning, YHC would share the results of one such venture.

    in a sliver of openness to potential value of country music, YHC stumbled across an old gem: “Psycho” by Jack Kittel, recorded in 1974. And, that’s as far as it got. No need to foray any deeper. The refrain starts, in a slow Texas drawl, “You think I’m psycho don’t you, mama?” So much for country.

    When YHC revealed that we’d be utilizing the results of his recent country study in this morning’s first exercise, the PAX had high hopes for either a country-conversion or something funny like “I Wanna Marry the Troops”. It didn’t take long for those hopes and giggles to fade into a few quetly uttered, “Oh, no”s.
    -Plank for the duration, merkins on “mama”.

    We recovered (physically), and moved into the actual theme of the beatdown, St. Joseph’s Day.
    St. Joseph went through some tough stuff, but it allowed him to participate at the deepest level in the most incredible, important event that has ever occurred on earth: God became man and lived among us. But, it wasn’t until he allowed himself, his decision-making to be led by a God he trusted despite not being able to see where it was all going.

    St. Joseph Dora–partner up for:

    1. St. Joseph finds out she’s pregnant and tries to sneak out and hit the road, but is stopped by the Angel Gabriel and runs back to Mary and her child: 100 Australian Sweat Angels, P2 sneaks out to the street and runs to the stop sign and nurs back.

    2. The governor selfishly calls for a census and forces everyone to travel back to the place of their heredity, and Joseph leads pregnant Mary all the way to Bethlehem, where he finds no room for them. But all these horrible circumstances lead to the fulfillment of many important prophecies and ultimately the revelation of God-become-man in a newborn: 200 genuflections while partner bear crawls to the sidewalk and runs back. (The Bonnie Blair b-day celebration yesterday made for some slow, sloppy genuflections.)

    3. The psycho king moves to kill all the young children in Bethlehem, and though God saves his son from an early death, He doesn’t stop Herod (or anyone else from then till now) from causing unimaginable suffering. Joseph flees with the baby and his mother to Egypt in obedience to the angel: 300 mummy walks (straight legs, toes touching outstretched hands) while partner cariocas to the sidewalk and back.

    After this, YHC waxed a bit on the nature of God’s decision to allow evil and suffering to continue in order to safeguard man’s freedom, which is required for his capacity to fully live and love. Instead of messing with that, in a genius stroke, he entered into our suffering, united himself to us exactly where he knew we felt most vulnerable, alone, and human. He knew that sharing our suffering (completely) would be an infinitely greater gift than taking it away, and he allowed St. Josph to do this with him from the very moment of his conception in Mary’s womb.

    They went through some tough stuff, but St. Joseph also got to live with him in their small little family and help form him into the man God had planned for him to be. Life in this family had to be incredibly blessed, so we would share in that blessing by sharing some suffering, too.

    Split into groups of 3: while one does 15 8-count bodybuilders, the other two are doing either LBC’s or SSH until he’s finished, then they rotate. Once done, they caught a quick 10-count before heading up to the Stage with 5. minutes remaining on the clock.

    One of the things St. Joseph is most known for is being upside down, buried in someone’s yard. The homeowners are under the impression this will somehow bring about the speedy sale of their home….No idea.

    In reparation for our boy being put so often into the dirt headfirst like a tent stake, the PAX took their positions, each near a column, for a Balls to the Wall Merkin Ring of Fire. Upside down, with feet up on the post and hands on the ground, the PAX took turns doing an upside down, head-first merkin, counting by each up to 40. Any further and more than one PAX would have passed out (and dental waivers may have needed to be passed out, too).

    We finished exactly at 6:00 and stepped down for COT, and Valve prayed us out.

    St. Joseph gave one of the best examples of how shared suffering is more of a gift than any comfort, knowledge, wealth, or fame could ever provide. He was allowed to share in God’s own suffering and life. This may sound unrealistic, but why else would 8 men show up at 5:15 am to let someone else tell them what they’re all gonna do, and the only guarantee is that it will hurt. And we can’t get enough. It’s not because we’re crazy, but because we were made for so much more than just avoiding pain and getting through day. We were made to choose to enter into life fully, and to do that with and for others in spite of (and actually through) suffering.

    Thanks for being willing to suffer with me this morning, fellas! I’ve never felt so alive!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Better late than never – from Kenna Brah

    The PAX had nearly disappeared into the gloom when YHC arrived just in time.

    Utilized the Blue padded play area for our Warmers:
    Self Love
    Arm Circles
    SSH
    Really Slow Vagodas
    Really Slow Grass Grabbers
    Some YOGA thrown in for panache

    The Thang –
    Route 66
    Burpees/BigBoy Sit Ups 1/1
    BackWards Walk between Lights
    Lunges/Freddie Mercury’s 4 CT
    Side Shuffle between Lights

    PAX Choice –
    Merkin/Flutter Kicks
    Karayoke In between lights

    Squats/Shoulder Taps
    Mosey between lights

    End/COT

  • 80s Music and Burpees – from Rudy

    twas going to be a slopping post-rain morning in Pontiff, so YHC decided we’d head straight to the Pavillion. After saying good bye to our walkers and KoTers, the 8 PAX grabbed a rock and moseyed.

    Bogey and Fast Tax in particular seemed to enjoy a collection of 70s and 80s tunes. So we’ll use that as the Sound Track for Tabata.

    10 sets, 45 seconds on 15 second off. 4 Arms, 4 Abs, 2 Legs.

    Then head to the parking lot for 25 yd out-and-back sprint, 5 burpees then SSH for the 6. Repeat x4.

    Back to the Pavillion to repeat a round of Tabata. Then back to the Parking lot to repeat the burpee sprints.

    Back to the flag, via the Rock Pile sending our implements into splash-down mode in the swamp.

    At the flag, many prayers for health and comfort to those who are sick and suffering.

  • Elevation Training at The Stomp – from Rudy

    Chose a different route – head to Wisner Mountain (1 mile away) and then just back and forth and back and forth until it was time to head back home.

    Not too late to consider a WWR team!

  • Discount coupons – from Safety Valve

    Today there was no theme. Tough Tuesday was the theme. Thats it, so let’s get to work.

    Battan death march – 1 mile Indian run around Rich mans loop with last person dropping off and completing 5 burpees

    Stopped at the bumper to grab some coupons to complete a 7 of diamonds around the stage loop:
    First corner: 7 man makers
    Second corner: 7 man makers, 14 merkins with block
    Third corner: 7 man makers, 14 merkins with block, 21 curls
    Fourth corner: 7 man makers, 14 merkins, 21 curls, 28 goblet squats

    11s – jump squats and curls

    Finished with 2 minutes of Mary – LBCs and 6 inch hold. COT, intentions, and prayers sent out. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

    Welcome back Goose! In your absence we have gotten soft. We thought we were doing so good until you show up after a month of being on IR and make everyone look bad. In all seriousness, you killed it today just like you always have. Happy to have Father Goose back!

  • Bonnie’s Bithday Bash – from Safety Valve

    Today we gathered to celebrate and commemorate the career of Bonnie Blair. Today is her birthday. On March 18, 1964 a legend was born. Speed skating was in her blood. Her Godmother was a Canadian speed skater and Blair herself started skating at the age of 2, becoming competitive by age 4. She was 19 when she debuted for the United States for the Olympics. During her speed skating career she amassed several World championships, and was the most decorated female speed skater of her time with 5 gold medals and a bronze medal during the Olympics. Today is for you Bonnie. Thank you for all the pain and gain that your namesake has created over the years.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Wind mills
    Willie Mayes Hayes
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward

    The Thangs
    Mosey to Rich mans loop. The loop became our ice rink/circuit with some imagination.

    Loop 1
    Speed skater training – Bonnie wasn’t born going as fast as she could. It took years of training to ultimately beat the World record and then beat her own world record several times. We focused on lower body strengthening to make us go fast.

    We ran the length of the loop stopping at every other light post, at which time an exercise was called out. The PAX were to complete 10 reps of that exercise and we moved on to the next light post. On the last two light poles, we pretended to speed skate (basically a run lunge kinda thing) and then sprint to the finish. PAX stayed together.

    10 squats
    10 squat jumps
    10 One legged squats right
    10 One legged squats left
    10 Apollo Oh nos

    Loop 2
    World skating competitions- this is where athletes compete yearly to improve themselves for the big stage (Olympics). Same as the last loop, we ran the length of the loop stopping every other light post to do the exercises below. We finished again with a pretend speed skater and a sprint to the finish. Pax stayed together.

    5 Bonnie Blair’s
    5 Goosies
    5 Gold Stars – Bonnie Blair then star jump
    5 Burpee Blairs – Bonnie Blair then Merkin
    5 Bonnie Blairs

    Loop 3
    The Olympics – we made it. No more Mr. Nice guy. This is the time to show what you have been training for. This one was on your own. Run the loop and complete the previous Bonnie exercises at each of the four corners of the loop. 15 reps instead of 5.

    15 Bonnie Blair’s
    15 Goosies
    15 Gold Stars – Bonnie Blair then star jump
    15 Burpee Blairs – Bonnie Blair then Merkin

    Gold medal – Pope
    Silver – Americas Best
    Bronze – Lil Cuz

    Completed our mile back to the flag and the finalist led us in a Mary. Pope calling for flying cockroaches, AB calling for “proper” leg raises where the feet never touched the ground, and Lil cuz finishing with penguins.

    COT, intentions and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Reflection on Bonnie’s success – Bonnie started skating at the age of 2. With constant instruction/coaching and with continued practice, it took her 22 years to earn her first Gold medal. Even with everything on her side going perfectly, it took 22 years for her to receive the ultimate “prize”. She truly was an amazing athlete to accomplish what she did, but Bonnie didn’t break a record every time she skated. Her best was a sub 39 second 500 meter sprint – she beat her own world record then. Her worst the next day was probably 45 seconds. She didn’t give up because one day was tough. She kept going to try and be the best version of herself possible. Things in this life may not work out when or how you want them to every time. Sticking to what you believe in and following your calling will bring you success. Maybe not in the way you think now, but in the way God wants it to happen later. Don’t ever give up on trying to be a better version of yourself. There is always potential to grow.

    Side note – Bonnie Blair supposedly is from a Scottish-Irish background. Thank you AB for the constant reminder of things that YHC does not know. The random bits of trivia you know never ceases to amaze. This is why YHC has not been invited on a trivia team trip yet. Waiting on that call though

  • The Fairy Ring – from Akbar

    14 strong today – with a little EH help from Shooter’s backblast – on this wet gloom for a pre Saint Paddy’s day celebration.

    Legend has it that fairy rings were caused by fairies, elves, and Leprechauns dancing in a circle. If humans joined in the dance they would be punished and made to dance in the ring until they passed out from exhaustion – or DIED. In 1518, the French town of Strasbourg experienced it and other outbreaks across Europe happened in the 10th century.

    It is an unsolved public health mystery, and the most recent case showed up in Mandeville, La at the Lakefront beatdown. There were exercises, dancing, moaning, and groaning, and yes – Fairies.

    Pax : Baby Yoda, Waterpik, Pass Interference, Jose 10k, Duke of Hazzard, Wicket, Bushwhacker, The Hammer, Brexit, Bird, Steve, Russo, Shooter, Akbar

    Warm Up: x10 IC: SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles, Swimmers, Backstroke, Overhead Claps, Toe Touches, Grass Grabbers

    Mosey over towards Rips, circle up for instructions.

    The Thang

    6 exercises x 10 OYO – while listening to YHC’s high school playlist, with an Irish jig after each song. When the Irish jig came on we would mosey in a circle until finished, and pick back up where we left off. A non-stop 30 minute beatdown with no breaks.

    The idea was full body on the wall – (Jose10k noted this was mostly upper body). Then lower body on the Irish Jigs. YHC did not do the math, but the Irish Jigs were around 50 seconds, and the other songs were an average of 3.5 minutes.

    Exercises:

    Wide Tempo Merkin, Step Ups (2 is 1), Freak Nasty, Renegade Row, Reverse Grip Irkin, Stone Mountain

    Irish Jig: High knees, Hallelujah runs, lunge walks, runs, butt kicks

    Fairies are Real
    A quarter way through the playlist took on a mind of its own, skipping ahead, playing a song for 3 seconds, then all together stopping. Were the fairies messing with Q? We killed the tunes and pushed forward. With no music, it looked like the scene from Halloween when the prisoners escaped from the loony bin.

    Time called and we moseyed back to the Flag for some leg work.

    3 sets x10 IC of Sister Mary Catherines, Calf Raises, Copperhead Squats

    Mary x10 IC: Freddy Mercury, Hello Dolly, Rosalita, Flutter Kicks, Heels to Heaven, Hummingbirds (100 100’s), LBC’s

    Time called, reverse count, name-o-rama, YHC prayed us out, and we headed to Coffeeteria.

    Thanks for coming out and following the lead.
    SYITG – Akbar

  • Earlie in the Morning – from Heisenberg

    Warm up
    Grass Grabbers 10, Windmills 11, Imp Walkers 11, 5 burpees OYO, Deep Sea Diver (descending shoulder taps starting with 8 top step of Noma. 5 burpees OYO
    The Thing
    With the “Irish/Celtic/Sea Shanties” playlist from Amazon Music loaded we began 30 rounds of Tabata 40 seconds work 25 seconds rest. Stations 1. Step-ups 30lb ruck, 2. Dumbbell Curls using one foot on a stability pad, 3. 60lb Sandbag rows, 4Morrocan Night Clubs with 2.5 lb. egg weights,5. Heavy Jump rope, 27lb Kettle bell rows, Speed Rope, 20lb weighted Sit-ups.
    The Wrap up – 3 Sunday Mornings and 10 burpees OYO
    Welcome first timer Mr. Rogers
    COT

  • Spontaneous Q’ing – from Kenna Brah

    Arrived to find the PAX lacking a Q ( AKA Q’less), having missed my last TWO Q appointments, I decided to jump into the vacuum.

    Mosey to the Colonnade for warm-ups
    SSH
    IW
    LSQ
    REALLY SLOW VAGODAS/GRASS GABBERS
    Pivoted to some YOGA

    Without a prepared BD, I pulled out my trusty go to plan:
    10 things 10 times, for 10 rounds
    Each pax took a exercice
    Smooth – SSH
    Heisenberg – Burpees ( Big surprise)
    Vagabond – Air Squats
    Fracsac – LBC
    Catfish – 8 Ct Body Builders
    Cheesesteak – Lunges
    Maytag – Merkins
    Mr Rogers – Should Taps
    Christopher Robin – Alternate Leg Wife Pleasers
    YHC – BB Situps
    After 5 Rounds and a stunned look on the faces of the PAX we pivoted to each HIM chooses what to do next, then it all went crazy – Trust me. It was a more than adequate way to grow in leadership, creativity and all around fitness.

    COT

  • “Pain exists in the mind.” – from America’s Best

    What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An ear (ehr)worm?
    No… a free men’s workout. Resilient… highly contagious. And once an idea for a beatdown has taken hold of the brain, it’s almost impossible to eradicate.
    Months ago, the idea for this beatdown was planted into YHC’s fragile eggshell mind by Paradox.
    Now, YHC had not seen Inception in years, so a refresher was necessary.
    (Since the movie is currently available only on Canadian Netflix, YHC may have had to commit some “light violation” of Netflix’s terms of service in order to view the movie.)

    Began as usual, with Warmarama, but YHC wanted to set up the disorientation and confusion early. Only 3 SSH were done; Enron looked up from setting his Whoop, and it was over.

    The first thang:
    The entire PAX enters together into the first dream layer:
    Dream on (Aerosmith)- Hold Al Gore during music, SSH during lyrics. Burpee on “sing,” merkin on “dream”, then change to hold plank and and merkins all subsequent “sing”s and “dream”s.

    Second Thang: for the next dream layer, it’s necessary to break into smaller groups.
    So we divided into partners and performed a Musical Dora – one partner does curls during song 1, and thrusters during 2nd song. Other partner is running a lap, and doing 5 derkins on the hill.

    Deepest dream layer: Limbo, on your own.
    In the world of Inception, Limbo is an “expanse of infinite raw subconscious,” described as “unconstructed dream space.”
    And so it came to be that we would suffer the deconstructed burpees of Yankee Jeaux’s dreams (Jurpees) in unconstructed dream space. AMRAP. On your own.
    For your listening pleasure: Sweet Dreams (are made of these) and Good Old Fashioned Nightmare.
    Not sure if the entire PAX experienced the extreme time dilation YHC did here, but these two songs seemed to last about 4 hours.

    “Non, je ne regrette rien” was the song used in Inception to alert the dreamers to wake into the higher dream state.
    So when it played, we ran a lap around the civic center to “kick” back out of limbo and up into the second dream.

    Second Thang again:Repeated Musical Dora, this time with sit ups on the (up) hill.
    May I submit that this exercise henceforth be known as “the drug mule”? Because when I was done I had so much grass in my crack I felt like I was crossing the border with Cheech and Chong.

    “Non, je ne regrette rien” played again, so again we ran a lap around CC (before song ends!) and reunited entire PAX to finish up in the original dream.

    And the last thang:
    “Wake Me Up” : flutter kicks until chorus. Big boy sit ups during chorus, Big Boy Sit Up Ups (stand ups)on “Wake Me”; Freddy Mercury during breakdown

    “Non, je ne regrette rien” was supposed to play one final time. Maybe we were supposed to run one more lap?
    Either way, not sure if we got to that final bit… but I hope this blast has summed up the rigorous confusion of the beatdown.

    COT. Goose prayed us out.

    Thanks for showing up for the mayhem. Always an honor to lead you maniacs.

    AB Sees…
    A parallel between Han Solo and Yankee Jeaux:

    How was I confident that we could make the lap around the Civic Center before that French song ended? First, a story:
    Han Solo claimed that his Millennium Falcon “made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs.” Critics and nerds love to point out that this makes no sense, because a parsec is a unit of distance, not time.

    A few weeks ago, YHC was planning this beatdown and so asked YJ “how long does it take to run a lap around the Civic Center?” His answer: 0.3 miles.

    So how was I confident we would make it in time?
    Not at all. But Goose was back! And showing up only minutes after me, informed me “I’m going to run a few laps to warm up.”
    Giving me the perfect opportunity to time him… as long as we can all run like Goose, we should be fine. How confident was I that we could all run like Goose?
    Not at all. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. Or otherwise, “become an old man, filled with regret, waiting to die alone.”