F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Still of Steel – from Honeysuckle

    PAX: Enron, Captain D’s, Piccadilly, Safety Valve, America’s Best, Cardinal, Yankee Joe, Wet Tap, Lil Cuz, Popeye, Maneater, Pope, Coyote, Duke, Jackknife, Swedish Fish

    On a particularly gloomy morning in the gloom, the PAX assembled in anticipation of what was in store. Noting the tendency to congregate in the more paved area of the usual gathering place, YHC made a few gracious adjustments to today’s locations, but only a few. The posting of Captain D’s was a welcome sight, as was that of an FNG.

    YHC had been a little nervous for a V Saturday Q, trying to live up to the standard that the usuals provide. What if YHC inadvertently changed something? What if it only lasted 45 minutes? That would be a big change, even when put up against all the other changes since Goose has been out. Sure, Yankee Joe allowing some M’s to join last week, and Dox charging a $2 per workout per PAX on Thursday for “administrative overhead”, and Safety Valve having an indoor beatdown on Monday due to slightly imperfect conditions, and Enron forgetting to do a COT, and Coyote secretly being an elite hired coach weren’t that big of a deal, but as AB knows, being told “nice job fitting an hour into 45 minutes” is not a compliment. So YHC planned for a little extra.

    The PAX begrudgingly circled up and a typical warmarama was performed. Until the end, that is, when YHC introduced the Equalizer, which was taken from a recent downrange experience. 12 SSH’s, 12 SSH’s with arms steady, and 12 hops, followed by 11 of each, 10 of each, and so on until we reached 1-1-1. The PAX picked this up quite well. Yankee Joe seemed to be requesting a Jewish version, which we didn’t do today but one option for another day would be to start with 9’s, one per Menorah candle.

    Then we did a “standard” Indian run to the tennis courts, a nice paved surface that the PAX would have the opportunity to closely examine for cracks and debate where the expansion joints should have been put. The theme today would be in contrast to the running, rucking, and motion in general that was February. The flagship exercises of each Thang would be static holds, ideally motionless, all done in a Dora format.

    Thang 1

    The hold would be a mission impossible plank, while the partner ran to the chimney and did 2 merkins and 2 squats. Then run back and switch. After the second partner completed 2 merkins and 2 squats, they would move to round 2, where an additional 2 squats and 2 merkins were performed. In general, for round n, 2n squats and 2n merkins were performed. YHC is relieved that these workouts can be described in algebraic form, now that the true intellect of the PAX is beginning to shine through. There was no set goal for this since, hey, it was a Saturday, but in the end we stopped before we got to the square root of 50 rounds.

    Thang 2

    Moseying over to the monkey bars, the same general format would be used for Thang 2. Partner 1 would perform a dead hang while Partner 2 performed 1 burpee in round 1. In general, n burpees performed in round n. YHC has recently taken Q explaining lessons from AB, and he assured me that if the PAX don’t understand something, it’s not the Q’s fault because it was perfectly explained. Unequivocally. So, YHC is not at fault for most of the PAX not getting that when the hanging partner has to quit before the burpees are done, then the team is out and does Al Gores. Eventually the word did get around though. This eventually left one team hanging, Captain D’s and YHC. Now, YHC is not sure if Captain D’s has been secretly practicing this every day for the past week or two like YHC has, but he put up quite an impressive effort.

    Thang 3

    That brings us to the third event of the day. The PAX took a short mosey to the other side of the playground equipment apparatus, which was the parking lot of the Rec department. YHC produced a list of exercises, including WWI sit ups, Apollo OhNos, Reverse crunch, Crab Dip, LBC’s. 150 of each. Originally this was to be done in a 3-man format in the large field, but due to the conditions YHC kept it to 2-man in this smaller (paved) area, revealing a few flaws in the translation but the PAX is nothing if not resilient. In this case, the hold was alternating between a wall chair or balls to the wall, with the wall being the rec center. YHC called a few early exercise changes so that we would get to more things, and several PAX excelled at Crab Dips and were excited about other ways to apply their newfound skills.

    Then the PAX moseyed back to the flag. The inVESTment was bestowed from Pope to Enron due to his golden gloves, which were not CoolJobs but Midas brand as they turned his hands gold as well. Maneater prayed us out, and AB got his phohwn to take the photo.

    Thank you to the PAX for showing up. And giving it your all every time. It really was an honor and a privilege to get to lead you today. If anyone gets called about having to clean the side of the Rec building, let me know and I’ll take care of it.

    Prologue: As the theme for this beatdown came together, several events and thoughts came into focus through that lens. The contrast between one partner apparently “doing nothing” (holds) and the other being very busy (burpees, merkins) reminded me of my own judging of and comparing with others. Both jobs were hard today, but when I am a mover I think moving is harder and being still is easy. And vice versa. Which reminds me of something a Methodist minister told my wife and me before we got married. A story of a husband and wife doing laundry, and the husband says, “You know, sometimes I feel like I am the one doing everything around here.” And the wife says, “You know, sometimes I feel like I am the one doing everything around here.” I think about that story almost daily, and try to remember two things. First, there is just a lot of **** to do around here. And second is that egocentric view that what we are doing is harder, better, etc. and what they are doing is easy. And then Thursday, when Paradox said, “Man, Goose makes planting that flag look easy” and AB said, “Paradox makes taking the picture look easy” were two nice examples of appreciating that those “easy” things others do may not be so easy.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Ol’ dirty fünfzehn – from Vagabond

    Warmup

    Run to Wisner and back tree weave

    Three exercises: legs core arms – 15 each

    situp punches
    squats
    merkins

    American hammers
    Lunges
    derkins

    v ups
    Bobby Hurley
    Decline shoulder taps 2 is 1

    Bicycle crunches legs straight
    Bonnie Blair
    Push up with Nolan Ryan

    Pax choice

    Sunday mornings

  • Rain at the A1C – from Einstein

    Strong warmup
    Copious calisthenics.
    Moby prayed us out

  • Cold and Wet Gloom – Or Not – from Architect

    It was clear that the anticipated weather scared off those not mentally ready, even the KOTers. The rain held out, the temps were mild, and the waters were high; almost the pure definition of The Gloom. PAX participated in “7 mins of Heaven”, followed by various rounds of PAX-picked movements and water jug carries. Special thx to Mr. Rogers for providing the jugs.

  • Choose your Poi, Son! – from America’s Best

    Unbeknownst to many, YHC spent his small kid time in Hawaii… AB was just a barefoot Haole, speaking pidgin, surfing with an alien I thought was a dog, working as a private investigator, and flying around in T.C.’s helicopter. This beatdown was inspired by those days. . .

    The PAX rolled in, totaling a dozen by the time Dilly rolled on… so we began Warmarama… a bit of a pickle since we only had 10 coupons. But, like a glorious Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Paradox broke out of the circle, leapt out in to the gloom, and returned with a giant black stick that would have to suffice.

    Island 1: Hawai’i (The Big Island):

    Constantly in fear that a volcano was about to erupt, YHC’s early visits to this island were always a bit nightmarish. We pay tribute today to this childhood fear with Volcano by the late, some-say-great, Jimmy Buffet. Hold Al Gore. Burpee on “I don’t know.” Tuck jump on “Volcano.”

    Mom Jeans’ hatred of Jimmy Buffet during this segment was noted, catalogued, and will be weaponized in a future beatdown.

    Island 2: Maui – the Man, the Myth, the Island

    The trickster demigod was definitely present during this well-planned, expertly explained, and piss-poorly executed portion of your entertainment.
    The plan was a Kola (which is the closest phonetic match to Dora, since there is no “D” or “R” in the Hawaiian alphabet). Pair up, one partner is Maui, pushing up the sky (coupon presses) while the other is his brother, tricked into pulling up islands from the sea floor(moving coupons). Then Flapjack, and 2nd partner takes over the presses while partner 1 moves the coupon back to the start. The explanation was much longer, murkier, and nobody in the PAX was clear on whether they were Maui, his brother, or themselves, so everyone was moving islands all over the ocean.

    Admittedly, this part was half-baked at best. And so YHC went into full-on Dad/Tech Support mode (“Move!”) and just walked everyone through a new version: Walk backwards, with alternating sets of curls and goblet squats. A more well-planned Maui beatdown is guaranteed next time.

    Island 3: O’ahu… choose your Poi, son!

    One of my earliest memories was at a luau, learning about poi, a Hawaiian food staple. Hard to describe, it’s a fermented paste of pounded taro root. It’s like if yogurt and sweet potato had a baby. And then you ate out of that baby’s diaper.
    Anyway, you typically classify it based on consistency: “one-finger”, “two-finger”, or “three-finger”, based on how many fingers are required to scoop it up.
    So here, participants are asked to choose which poi they want. And like poi, with each added finger it gets more runny:
    1-finger poi: Roll die, do 7x that many burpees and WWII sit-ups, with murder bunnying and bear crawling (least runny/no running)
    2-finger poi: Roll die, do that many laps with 2x that number of blockees as buy-in for each lap
    3-finger poi: Run/nur until you find the Run-Cajun-Run sticker on a lamp post; then 3 burpees and run back (most runny)

    Without hesitation, Honeysuckle chose 3 and lead the other gazelles off into the unknown gloom.
    Seeming the most innocuous, 2-finger poi proved to be the most difficult. Those were the real tough guys. . .who didn’t do the math first.
    Enron and YHC were the only two bold enough to try the 1 finger poi, and were rewarded for our bravery by finishing first.

    Final Thang: The Ring of Fire
    The Ring of Fire is also a belt of volcanos surrounding the Pacific. So we did the typical Ring of Fire, but (Inner) “Circles” by Soul Coughing was played instead of the usual Johnny Cash song…
    About 2 minutes into the ‘roid rage, YHC offered to stop the thang if anyone could ID the artist… and decided to mention “this is a 10-minute song, by the way.”
    Only Popeye had even heard this song before. And so, a minute later, desperation set in, and Yankee Jeaux jumped up to check the phone and call out the artist to stop the torture.
    The song was over anyway. YJ cheated, but YHC lied.

    Pau.
    COT and Yankee Jeaux prayed us out.

    Something for my Llamas:
    Nobody knew why that song by the Animals was played this morning amongst the Hawaii-themed music. YHC’s favorite volcano is Haleakala… which is Hawaiian for “House of the (rising) Sun.”
    Another bit of trivia for you: The Hawaiian Islands were once called the Sandwich Islands, but the name was changed because it brought too much shame when Firehouse Subs was founded.

    Tanks for coming out, bruddahs. Always an honor to lead. Great seeing the consistency of White Meat (that sounds weird) and that Ponzi is posting again on the regular. And some guy named Wilford Montana made my day by showing up (sans coffee) to join us.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • We Were Runninggga or Let Hydrants Be Your Guide – from Bushwacker

    Signed up, semi-planned, but am I really…?🤔

    WARMORAMA

    X10, IC: Darn near every warmup exercise in the book!

    THANG

    OYO mosey towards the beach stopping for 10 Burpees at each hydrant. At the splash pad we circled up for “Raider Pride”, the football drill consisting of running in place and dropping and popping up in turn.
    Returning to the flag doing 10 Jump Squats at each hydrant, and circled up for Al Gore/ Jump Squats.
    Headed in the other direction past the Shaft and over the bridge, doing 10 hand release merkins at each hydrant (and maybe 1 or 2 imaginary ones).
    Circled up for Plank/Merkins.
    Return with 25 SSHs per hydrant.

    MARY

    12 sweet minutes of classic core featuring such hits as LBCs, Flutter Kicks, and 100 100s!

    COT

    Count/name/announcements/prayer

    Gratitude

  • #41 (not the Dave Matthews song) at Okwata – from Thumb War

    Disclaimer and Bday announcement.

    Mosey to the grass area in front of Mardi Gras fountain for Warmup in Cadence :

    Abe bagotas
    Grass grabbers
    Low slow squats
    Hill Billies
    Arm circles F & B
    Seal claps
    Moroccan night clubs
    Peter Parkers
    Mountain climbers
    SSH – 41 in Cadence

    Thang:

    2 rounds of Route 66 towards bridge near Marconi

    Round 1
    Jogging between the light poles, did escalating burpees at each stop starting with 1 rep

    Round 2
    Jogging between the poles, did ascending air squats starting with 11 reps

    We jogged across the street towards levee but stopped along the way and held People chair at the wall.

    Indian Ran the levee top to the house of pain for 4 sets of 5 pull ups.

    Jogged back to lake by Okwata sign for around the horn of Mary.

    Back to the Flag for COT and thanks for the Bday Q and F3 in my life.

    PS. #41 is one of my favorite Dave Matthews Band songs.

  • Disaster on Grass about the Miracle on Ice, by Coyote – from Goose

                Thankfully, no mosquitoes tormented the Pax & YHC as we started the beatdown with the normal warmups. But what wasn’t normal was when YHC called “A skips.” No one but Pope and YHC could get the skip part down, so at what we thought was number thirteen, YHC had to call an untuned Halt and we switched to high knees & butt kicks.
    YHC explained that YHC doesn’t go to weekday beatdowns, so February 24, 2024, was going to be about February 22, 1980, the Miracle on Ice.
    A quick mosey to the field by bayou road, YHC explained that the US hockey team, a group of nobody college students at the time, beat the best team in the world, the unstoppable Soviet Union, 4-3. YHC asked a few questions about the event, and the Pax answered both correctly, the prize being four burpees. YHC then said how the US’s coach, Herb Brooks, said, “I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to be your coach.” He said he would work his team HARD. So YHC said he would work the Pax HARD. We started simple, three suicide runs across the field. Then we got into it.
    First, Vladimir Krutov scored, so we spelled Krutov in alphabet form, spelling the words with our legs down on our six. What came after was to come in between every single goal: we ran another suicide run and did three burpees. YHC said that if the US scored, we would do four burpees, and if the Soviets scored, we would do three. We continued to do this, spelling the last names of Buzz Schneider, Sergei Makarov, Mark Johnson, Aleksander Maltsev, Mark Johnson again, and Mike Eruzione. (Doing twenty one-is-one Goofballs for the soviet coach’s dumb switch from the best goalie in the world to his backup in between Mark Johnson’s first goal and Aleksander Maltsev.)
    After Mike Eruzione’s famous goal, we did twenty one-is-one genuflections for the famous picture of the failed block. We played the last minute of the event, doing mission impossible plank because of how impossible it was. Then we did the normal exercises to thunderstruck because of how thunderstruck the soviets were. The song cut short twice, so we just played the hillbilly version. We played a song called Victory because of the US’s victory. During the entire song, we held Al Gore, doing various leg exercises on YHC’s call. We straggled back to the flag, beaten down hard. The number of Pax was second place overall for most PAX at a beatdown, twenty strong. Animal went to Cardinal for his amazing, attention-getting shoes. That capped off the Disaster on Grass about the Miracle on Ice.

  • Granny’s Mosey! – from Shooter

    And that’s about it, no warmup straight to Mosey 4.22 miles with 2 team Unitards through Mandeville..

    Till the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • The Circuit – from Safety Valve

    After Coyote’s inspiring Q on Saturday, YHC thought it was time to get the PAX back into the running game to kick off the last week of RCR.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Mountain climbers
    Imperial walkers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Arm circles forward and back
    Cherry pickers

    Thang
    Today was all about F1, none of this F3 stuff. If unfamiliar, F1 is the premier international sport racing event. Each team in F1 has two cars that race and a pit crew. Everyone is trying to win the race, but most teams have a single driver that is faster and a support driver that helps the faster driver win. Ultimately, it is a team sport. During our F1 circuit this morning we had 3 teams (one thruple) that would work together to try to win the race. The circuit consisted of several rounds of buy ins (pit stops) prior to completing a 1/3 mile run. The point is to complete the buy in/pit stop quickly in order to get more miles in.

    To make it interesting, once every 3 laps around, each team could tag another racer while on the circuit and that racer had to drop and do 5 burpees and be slowed down. Once every 3 laps, each team could also choose one racer to skip the buy in/pit stop and just keep running through to the next lap. Used wisely, these could change the outcome of the race.

    Formation lap – 1/3 mile run to get everyone familiar with the circuit

    Round 1
    Buy in – 5 burpees, 20 big boys, 20 merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 2
    Buy in – 10 jump squats, 20 LBCs, 20 hand release merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 3
    Buy in – 15 star jumps, 20 V ups, 20 shoulder tap merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 4
    Buy in – 5 burpees, 20 big boys, 20 merkins.

    1/3 mile run

    Round 5
    Buy in – 10 jump squats, 20 LBCs, 20 hand release merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 6
    Buy in – 15 star jumps, 20 V ups, 20 shoulder tap merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 7
    Buy in – 5 burpees, 20 big boys, 20 merkins.

    1/3 mile run

    Round 8
    Buy in – 10 jump squats, 20 LBCs, 20 hand release merkins

    1/3 mile run

    Round 9
    Buy in – 15 star jumps, 20 V ups, 20 shoulder tap merkins

    1/3 mile run

    This got us to 6:00 and Cot commenced. Animal was bestowed upon Tidy for his never give up attitude and the inVESTment was given to Pope for his running prowess. Announcements and intentions were lifted up. Dox prayed us out.

    Side note:
    F1 sucks. The other 2 Fs are definitely needed. Without building our faith and without the brotherhood, YHC would have stopped coming after the first posting. Grateful for all that this group has given- the time, the chatter, the support, the strength to push more than we think we can. Thanks for showing up. It’s always a pleasure to lead.