Easter Reflections – each pax shares 1
Mosey to Children’s Museum
Coupons x3 spots x 12 reps + 5 burpees
12 overhead press start, middle, end of bridge
12 squats
12 bench press with feet up
12 kettle bells
12 step overs
12 curls
Bear crawl Easter egg hunt
Sunday Mornings
YHC recently finished “Into Thin Air” by John Krakauer, a first hand account of a tragic Everest expedition in 1996. It turned disastrous after a freak storm hit the summit during the only window multiple competing teams had to make it to the top. A great read if you want a deep dive into the world of high summit climbing and especially if you really, really never want to even consider strapping on a pair of crampons.
But it got my wheels turning about bucket list items and the wild ambitions a man can find on this planet. (There’s a beatdown coming here later but just sit tight with your hookahs for a moment.)
Ya see, There have been short periods of time when YHC had his own aspirations as a mountain climber. First in my early 20s and then I left a rock climbing gym with a hernia. The staff said “first time climbers” shouldnt recreate Tom Cruise mission impossible stunts but what do they know.
Undeterred, a few years later I headed up a mountain in Breckinridge, CO (brek brah) during a med school trip and was met with acute altitude sickness. It will shock none of our local pax to hear that my body shuts down if I leave the state lines or an altitude of 100 feet. Those trips to the oxygen bar did have a silver lining as I found out my future M would leave her friends and nurse a redneck bafoon to health.
Now in a real pickle, I had met both physical and even genetic barriers to my climbing goals . But nonetheless my 7th grade bucket list item remained.! Mrs Smith, our English/creative writing teacher (who planted the seeds of back blasting 101), had instructed us that no item was too far fetched to put on our list. So right there sandwiched between “Ironman triathlon “ and “learn English” was “climb or visit the 7 summits”. But here I was, like a 5:02am YJ bowel movement , stuck between a rock and a hard place as time ran out. The opportunities flushing fast and the midlife crisis impending as YHC saw his 7th grade dreams replaced by watching men in verbal altercations about the glory of a hand jive. Was my musical life just a sing-along this whole time??
Panic stricken, I made a plan…
I wouldn’t climb them free and solo. (Been there , done that, have the scars)
WE would climb them.
And we would climb them ALL in a 45 min free men’s workout.
Duke!! Put down that FMLA paperwork!
We are back to blasting !!
Roll the beautiful mountain bean footage!!
YHC rolled in a 1/2 minute late to a Lions Den boiling over with pax. Safety Valve continues to make up for a lifetime of missed SSH and provided a prompt courtesy warmup for the men. Fighting shadow GroupMe Q stealers and cumbersome garage coupons this beatdown theme was already heating up as a true uphill battle for YHC. We hit the usuals with continued slow high knee pax not maximizing their zone 2 cardio and our Lake Charles brothers wondering if the cadence here in Thibodaux is done in synchronized ear buds.
YHC gave the pax a little warmup mosey while slipping in hints to the big Thang.
7 nation Army was a nod to the 7 summits and the only riff I could try to learn on a guitar to looked cool in 2005.
Next up YHC needed to sell the allure of the mountains. We had “ Big rock candy mountain “ by Harry McClintock and he’s a fine salesman, ensuring us there would be no rain, wind or bull dogs with real teeth.
A perfectly weird tune that we performed MCs, plank jacks and coupon merkins to.
These young sherpax also required belay certification. YHC obliged by splitting them into two teams and utilizing a standard issue Mardi Gras football for each team that needed to be transported around the civic center. They needed to spread out in a chain and throw the ball one man at a time. With a drop equaling 3 burpees. And continuous squats for any stationary pax. Most of the pax atleast feined understanding and this mini thang proceeded to reach 7.2 on the Maui Scale. Drone reports later cited early high altitude cerebral edema that lead to the opposing team thinking the 3 burpees happen everytime they threw their kloot. YHC sent the chopper 6 rescue for rendezvous back at base camp and the whole thing had to filed under “belayed gratification”.
All that was left was Altitude Training so we headed to Lafourche Parishs highest point to complete 10 burpees then it was go time:
Mount Thang a Lang
How it should work: Team sends 1 man up the mountain to do reps up top while all alternate between 3 exercises (7-7-7) , rinse and repeat till entire team has competed.
Winner has all team mates back and in plank
7 rounds for the 7 highest summits on each continent(some modified for time)
Authors Note
***
There are almost as many geography schisms as Thibodaux sandwich schisms and it seems fiercely debated which of the seven summits are the “true seven”. This bd will reference the area of Oceani (Australia plus New Zealand plus Indonesia) and the concensuus across trivia books seems to be the below:
1- OCEANIA
Puncak Jaya (16k ft)
what country?
(Indonesia)
Merkins – plank jacks -squats
We started at a modest 16000 feet and this one may have been the toughest trivia across the board. YHCs Jawa is a little rough around the edges, compounded by wind and N. Canal traffic most of the pax thought I had sneezed and were still waiting on a question when we started burpees.
Team 1 took a decisive victory with a shocking decision to put Maneater as the sprint finisher and Jennayyy I tell ya..this man just felt like running. It took a year or two but we finally found Maneaters trigger….NEVER Disrespect Olivia Newton John or he will run you into the ground. White Meat could not be reached for comment and we left his body and a copy of Big Lebowski for the natives on Puncak Jaya.
2- ANTARCTICA
Mount Vinson Massif (16)
Penguins – Leg Raise – WW3 sit-ups
Goosie got this one correct after heavy penguin hints.
Team 1 had found there best horse and Maneater was again putting pure greased lightning.
3- EUROPE
Mount Elbrus (18k ft)
***Skipped for time but I think we did burpees for the trivia.
4- AFRICA
Mt Kilimanjaro (20k ft)
(Easiest to climb)
Coupon jumps, Donkey kicks, tin soldiers
YHC meant to serenade the pax with Toto’s masterpiece here bit if you start to play it in your head now it will reach peak chorus when you finish this blast.
5- NORTH MERKINA
Denali (22k ft)
Merkins- wide, regular, diamond
All Merkins because nothing says USA like naming your most majestic gas guzzling SUV after your politically controversial named and renamed mountain.
6- SOUTH AMERICA
Acongua (27k ft)
27 Monkey Humpers
-Just seemed right
Finisher….
7- ASIA
Everest (29)
“I’m on top of the World”
On top of having some great bd songs this band also gives you the chance to always end a tough conversation with the upper hand by saying “imagine those dragons” and then walking away. (Reader discretion advised, not for domestic use)
We did Coupon Al Gore and Thrusters on “World”
We finished with continuous thrusters and all legs met jello criteria.
Back to the flag for supplemental oxygen, counting, naming and also we learned XL is actually Excel so we didn’t have anymore questions about mysterious t-shirt sizes and some mumbled comments about google sheets being superior.
Announcements were mostly replaced by ways to let YJ know his Manniversary was a hoax or turn it into a “9th green at 9 “”situation. Backblast pending?
Prayers and intentions for many in our regions and beyond.
Thanks for climbing with me Pax
I hope that in this Lenten season of lessened distractions God makes our own mountains more clear and that we have the faith to climb with what he has provided.
Can you imagine those dragons?
SYITG
Dox
With billions of dollars spent in the health and wellness industry, everyone is looking to sell some magical elixir or hawk some new idea to recapture one’s youth. Well, I’ve been in this fitness space for over 40 years and there is no magical pill, new diet, new exercise routine or some infusion therapy to prevent the aging process. Yep, I know, that’s pretty profound but facts are facts. We don’t live here forever but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take care and maintain the body that God bestowed upon us. The big rocks of quality sleep, quality food and quality movement can never be eliminated if you want to live a long life. I’ll talk about quality relationships and the longevity space for another time. Anyway, a book I am reading called Born to Walk by Mark Sisson talks about the ‘quality movement’ space and that 50% of our exercise should be focused on strength training. One of the most dangerous things one can encounter when they age is finding themselves weak and old. That is a recipe for injury, disease and premature death. Ouch!
With strength training on my mind, I attempted to reincarnate the MUSCLESHIP! For all you newcomers, that was non running workout on Saturdays to help people on IR that couldn’t do Mothership. Simply put, we would lift heavy things and move around.
WARMARAMA
Head to the Peristyle to warm up with slow IC exercises. 10 LSS Squats, 10 low Tie Fighters (front and back), 10 slow cadence Imperial Walkers (#CrowdPleaser), 10 IC Lunge around the clock, 15 slow merkins, 10 slow Peter Parkers, 10 slow shoulder taps and 10 burpees IC.
THE THANG
Now that we are warmed up, we head to my bus and pick up all the KB and Dumbbells from the back. Everyone lines up single file holds one weight, and we start walking to the foundry. The last person in line doesn’t have a weight and does 10 BBSU and sprints the front where everyone stops, puts down their weight and moves back one spot and picks up the weight from the other pax member behind them then continues forward.
Once we reach the foundry, Rudy’s chirping threw me off slightly but I quickly regained my composure and listed out the exercise stations. 10 pull ups, 10 merkins, 10 Bulgarian split squats, 10 squats, 10 dips with the timer being a run to the track, perform three burpees then run back. We performed 2 full rounds then finished up with 10 slow supermans.
We head back to the flag in the same fashion that we went to the foundry.
COUNTOFF, NAMERAMA, AND COT
Closed with a prayer of gratitude for the life we have been given, especially with some of the pax member’s losing loved ones. Help us be strong for our loved ones, and our community so we can be a light in a dark world.
At 6:30 Sunday morning after a welcome and disclaimer we faced the bacon to warmup with Abe Vigodas, Grass Grabbers, Tie Fighters, Imperial Walkers, hillbillies and a seated leg stretch my M showed me she called butterflies.
After warming up with our stretches I treated the PAX to some music. We listened to Flower by Moby and each time the song said up we raised to the neutral squat position and each time the song said down we sank into an engaged squat and held until the next up in the song.
We then proceeded to complete a set of 11’s on the museum stairs with merkins by the fountain and Bobby Hurley’s at the top of the stairs.
We then circled the fountain for a circuit. Each PAX got to choose between two exercises and we ended up with: shoulder taps, American hammers, calf raises, box cutters, side straddle hops, big boy situps with a timer of dealer choice 6 count motivator or 10 8 count bodybuilders.
With a little extra time to fill we started a second round of circuit with arm circles, v ups, step ups, LBCs, inverted rows,(one exercise forgotten to time) and the same timer.
Q stopped the circuit part way through to make time for one more round with Moby. This time it was pushup position for up and superman position for down.
We made our way to the side of the museum for 3 sets of Sunday Mornings then back to the fountain for a quick cooldown.
We counted off, name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and a prayer.
Super Mothership
Pax (7)
Bogey
Tool
Abacus
Kenna brah
Chris FNG – PETA
Colonol Mustard
YHC arrived early to set up a football field.
Convened at the Flag for a lighter than usual PAX for Mother Ship partly due to the IOAM event on the bayou.
Moseyed to the Peristyle for a Warm Up where a couple of late arrivals met us.
Warm-a-Rama:
Slow Abe Vogodas 4 count on each side
Grass grabbers
Hillbillies
Side straddle hops
Mountain climbers
Tie fighters
Mayhem merkins
Moseyed to Big Lawn for Thang 1:
Red Barchetta – esque – instead we exercised song Purple Rain kicked off by the Fox Sports NFL theme song. This was the start of a playlist through the workout of artists that performed at Super Bowl halftimes/
100 Yard Dash then 100 overhead presses, run back to start point to plank/wait for six; 75 yard dash then 75 plank jacks, run back to start point to plank/wait for six; 50 yard dash then 50 LBCs, run back to start point to plank/wait for six; 25 yard dash then 25 Merkins, run back to start point to plank/wait for six; 10 yard dash then 10 burpees, run back to start point and plank/wait for six.
YHC brought a football 🏈 that couldn’t be dropped by the Pax for the remainder of the workout. If it hit the ground, 2 penalty burpees.
Mosey to Baby Foundry for Thang 2: Pull Ups and Planks
We split in 2 groups or tandems. With the off number YHC was a single and “ready to mingle” per Bogey. Bogey and Abacus made quite the cute couple.
Half are doing pull ups or back work while others are doing a plank. YHC used a Tabata timer for 45 secs of work and 15 secs of rest for 8 cycles.
Mosey to NOMA Fountain for Thang 3: Bench work in cadence
Box jumps
Bulgarian Split squats
Dips
Incline Merkins
Derkins
Gas pumpers
Mosey to the Flag. With about 3-4 mins remaining. We did a dealers choice of Mary.
COT:
We prayed for Tool’s wife and the city hosting the Super Bowl this weekend and gave thanks to impact of F3.
FNG Chris who is Kenna Brah’s nephew was in town for work and is big carnivore and hunter so was officially named PETA. He calls Dallas home and committed to more workouts in the gloom in Dallas to certify it.
53 degF 81% RH 4mph SE
Beautiful conditions for YHC’s Renaissance VQ
I knew I wouldn’t be alone since I picked up Thumbwar on the way… though I did not expect to enjoy a party of 18 total PAX. Let’s go to work.
6:29 and Heisenburg and Fracsac were already starting their MABA burpees. YHC informed them that we had at least a few coming.
Disclaimer at 6:30 provided and to work we went.
Warm: face the bacon for a beautiful sunrise, windmills, grass grabbers, mountain climbers, peter parkers, tie fighters, fie tighters, mayhem merkins (10-count hip slap shoulder tap merkin – exicon worthy)
11s of Motivaters and Burpees
Route 66: big bois broad jumping between trees, Rudy was first (like ND in the beginning of the playoffs)
Mosey to the second trash can and back, some were brave enough to touch it
Route 66: merkins bear crawling between trees, not allowed to stand, Rudy was not first (like Notre Dame at the end of the playoffs)
To the bacon, partner up, bonnie blairs with timer partner making loops and doing burpees, then step ups with timer partner reversing the loops
Traditional Sunday Mornings 3x
COT
RCR, OMM, IOM – just sign up, everyone needs a t-shirt
Prayers for Fracsac’s family, Pai Gow’s family, El Mundo’s family, Colonel Mustard’s friend’s family, an unannounced (today) present PAX’s personal intention, YHC’s unannounced personal intention, all those suffering from mental health issues, all those intentions held deep in our hearts
Happy to have the opportunity to lead. Look forward to more.
Special thanks to the other 17 PAX for sharing their morning with me. I needed it.
SYITG
Whether you call it Twixmas, Feral Week, or the official week of the automated email , the window of December 25th-January 1 is a great period for quality family time , limited use of pants, and for ignoring nutritional facts. (Even if your Payday has 7g of protein).
Naturally paired with this season is a look back on the good, bad and ugly of your previous year. And that’s where we’ll start as YHC also needs to issue this backblast as a mea culpa for several missed blasts through the year. Swept up in the undertow of work and diapers were more than a few half written works that just didn’t seem to have enough bowel movements in the day to finish.
Of course I could pile the excuses higher than the pampers tower in YHCs garage but the burden remains and if the men of F3 thib have taught me anything then it’s how to get back up when the tubs of life truly starts thumping you down. Ergo, we must trudge forth! Like Pliny the Younger providing the only account of Vesuvius, who would tell ABs grandkids about the Christmas miracle ?
Or like Aristodemus, spared from the final battle of Thermopylae to document those slain, someone must record the heroes of Danger Valve Mondays. Concordantly, this document is my 2024 last stand. To prevail against the waves of procrastination, flares of irritable bowels and all other reasons YHCs blasts went to Apple notes purgatory this year.
Objectives for this beatdown/blast were ambitious. YHC needed to recognize a tremendous year from our pax and highlight a few glossed over diamonds in the tuff, and to do it all in one big greasy beatdown/blast omelette. You won’t even need mushrooms and salsa to stomach this egg vehicle Senor Mitchell. This behemoth is chocked full of the events, schisms, airport flatulence, franchises, hoosker do’s, hoosker don’ts , 17 different light rock alternatives, wearables, whistling kitty chasers and all of those secret sauces of 2024 F3 Thib that make this group of uncultured hooligans my valued brothers.
Duke!!
It’s the Year in Review !!
Roll that beautiful footage pup.
10 Tuesday Tuffians were mostly assembled as YHC arrived in a thicc gloom with near perfect beatdown weather. Cool enough for sans mosquitoes but not so chilly that a spray paint crop top would make you uncomfortable ya know, and YHC did know.
Standard issue warmups with the ever growing detestable schism of slow knee heretics blatantly disregarding the call for “high knees” and instead doing the invasive species “slow high knees”. Like a useless pond grass the south port variant continues its spread, choking the life from more useful warms ups in our precious ecosystem. It’s a slippery slope to power walking fellas, it’s all I’m trying to say. Next it’s “there’s no jump on the burpee” then “Shakira shimmies” for merkins. Before long, once the estrogen levels get high enough, we’ll have a bear problem….(see anchorman et al 2004) …(and look this beatdown needed atleast one bah humbug or I couldn’t maintain the Dickens vibe ok)
YHC persevered through the mutiny and Wet Tap reduced the tension by reminiscing of misspent youth in Lafayette night clubs. We put a Bumper Mosey bow on it and it was show time.
YHC wanted to recap the year and one theme seemed recurrent and prominent in my reflections on 2024. Through the joys, sorrows, and everyday grind, in the ups and downs of family life , the sick 2.0s, the injuries , the beauty of new life and pain of lost loved ones. In all those things, God was, is and wants to be truly with us.
YHC will now attempt to go full Jacob Marley as we fly through 2024 and see the beatdowns of past, present and future.
In January God was with us in the known and unknown.
On 1/7/24 Americas Best sparked a trivia revolution with his bd “everybody’s an expert”. YHC remembers running rich man’s loop as he asked us a deep question: “what is one category we know better than the rest”. YHC thought it was a prank and initially answered something like “statefair corndogs” only to realize the remaining pax all gave real heartfelt answers. Finally Cardinal, in his wisdom, suggested a chance I might know antibiotics. How thoughtful.
When we returned to the stage AB weaponized our strengths (and Pride) against us to reinforce a very cool fact. We all kinda know 1-2 things really well but clearly there’s a vast ocean of facts out there we can humbly claim ignorance to and enjoy the process of learning.
So to honor this amazing gift we unveiled …
Rapid Fire AB trivia
Correct – 7 coupon plank jacks
Incorrect 7 coupon merks
#1
If yogurt and sweet potato had a baby they might produce ABs favorite traditional Polynesian food made from the Taro root.
(Poi)
Honeysuckle remembered the runny 3 finger poi as his favorite blend.
#
2ABs least favorite breakfast food- (omelette)
Pope with the immediate answer.
#3
When AB first moved to Thibodaux his first job as an optometrist made him smell like fresh Tires. Where was that job? (Sam’s Club)
Goose struggled with this one a bit but battled to produce Walmart which YHC awarded half credit. This is a great Goosian trait we see on display many beatdowns, if he doesn’t immediately have an answer then a rabid bloodhound is unleashed in his brain searching accurate guesses. Something’s very right with his medulla oblongata.
#4
AB has a dog named after the main character in this 1994 classic movie. (Shawshank redemption- Andy Dufrene)
The group produced both Shawshank and Dufrene.
Now it was only fair by the writ of habeas corpus that AB get a swing at the pax during his own trial so YHC prepped him the night before to bring a fast ball.
The Pax produced some fine “Most common wrongs” but could not land on “Time Dilation” as the answer. Great teaser trailer for the 2025 Interstellar beatdown.
Grand Finale
On a special night during ABs childhood , in the room he shared with his brother Jeff , AB released flatus so vile that Jeff had to leave the room. When he returned the next morning somehow the smell had gotten much worse. This is event is now known as what?
(The Christmas miracle)
Again Goose was flexing his Dawkins trophy by guessing Napalm. Although it was incorrect, I hereby place it #2 on the list of potential FNG names. (Just behind Texaco Cat of course)
Shoutout to This first hand account added by none other than Jeff Mitchell, who claims his smell never fully recovered.
AB thank you for the gift of trivia this year. We are proud to call you our Llama Mama.
In February God was with us on the run.
2/17/24
“It’s Only A Mile”
We recognized two major memories from this awesome day and what is hoped to be a Thibodaux staple event.
The first was Coach Goose. Anyone who ran more than a lap that day was aided by the one part field general/one part friend that provided stalwart support until the end.
We also unknowingly picked up our Rookie of the Year, White Meat.
Maybe it was the movie references or perhaps the pastalaya but he was there at the stage the following Monday rattling off Big Lebowski quotes like a pax veteran. We missed the mark on not naming this man Double Toilet but it’s been great getting to know the Meat and see him rapidly improve.
Run lap- 10 Goosies
Run Back 20 picklePounders
Thank you Goose for your leadership and thank you White meat for courage to try something new.
In March God was with us building our spiritual foundation brick by brick .
3/21/24 Popeye VQ
YHC would be flat out lying if I told you I wasn’t atleast a bit scared/concerned at what a Popeye Q might be. And based on the absolute silence of this usually chattering group during the beginning of the VQ some others were curious where the pain would come from as well. We stayed off his grass and all survived that day and ever since he has set the tone yielding his equally effective weapons of bricks and Yacht Rocks.
YHC found a song that was Yacht Rockish and represented Pops previous solo brick routine.
Coupon skips on our mystery song.
“All by myself “ equals burpee
One minute off per answer was the plan but these were fairly difficult and YHCs twang did not help a thorough explanation.
Answers :
– “ALL by myself “
– Artist – Eric Carmen
– other biggest hit song was “hungry eyes” featured in mutiple commercials to represent lusting after foods
– What Band did he leave: The raspberries
– Raspberry hit song was “Go all the away” – (hint: on guardians of galaxy soundtrack)
Thank you Pop for the tough love and for the Sailing lessons.
In April God was with us as we crank the intensity and carrying our burdens.
Yankee Jeaux has a well established resume of mega holiday beatdowns that many broadway production companies would envy. Yet he continued to push the bar higher with this Holy Week Stations of the Cross bd. It had the perfect blend of physical demand, silent reflection and opportunity for unity in suffering.
Thank you YJ, we secretly love your monologues.
Rucking also exploded onto the F3 Thib scene in the spring of ‘24 so we honored the Co-founders of Warrior Wednesday -Smooth and Honeysuckle. ( and a Tidy Whitey shoutout). These pax showed Great initiative to start and maintain a change of pace on Wednesdays. The ruck/run allows for open conversations and a simple format. Just ask Smooth all you need is a Jansport and a few hammers.
Both of these pax are connoisseurs of fine country so YHC dialed up ole King George.
“Carrying your love with me”
Coupon Step ups
A classic Smooth “Okay” was the general sentiment regarding coupon step ups.
Thank you HoneySuckle for your consistency, quality franchise Beatledowns and your God gifted infinity lungs
Thank you Smooth for cutting edge Maul/tire beatdowns and for always embracing a heavy load with a laugh and an “okay”
In May God was with us during a challenge.
This May we had a few wrinkles added to the annual May challenge . Some fasting , mutiple extra point grab opportunities and 3am -6 am 10 mile ruck Ruck that launched 1000 wife complaint’s. It led to some awesomely weird conversations and some revelations about valves call schedule.
To honor the super ruck and the Dawson 2.0s leading a Weird Al resurgence YHC found a little “YODA” .
Coup Calf raise on song
Curls on YODA
Thanks to Ronnie for giving me a template to ask my M about a middle of the night ruck. (It didn’t help)
In June God was with us to deal with transitions.
This one needs little introduction.
Mr Summerwind expressed all my feelings completely.
Cardinal to MC
“80 miles to Santa Fe”
Parked – Squat
Lake- Bonnie Blair
Santa Fe – SSH
We miss ya Cardinal.
Beatdown field trip in 2025- it’s happening. Thanks for encouraging the deeper questions and being a rock in our community.
In July God was with us to move heavy things.
Wet Tap continued to carve his niche as our Pax premier expert in Coupons of unusual size (COUS). directly or indirectly introducing Black Betty and Tiny this year we learned to fear seeing the high country back into a lot with no cinders in sight.
Song “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
We did OHP on Black Betty and Bama Lam
Thank you Tap, for seeing coupons everywhere you look.
Mid Year Intermission Song:
SSHs while YHC highlighted Lil Cuz’s innate ability to add valuable commentary on all things. Everyone sharpens iron in their own way and for Cuz it’s letting you know your beatdown monologue made him uncomfortable and that the veggie tray could use ranch.
Thank you Cuz for Keeping the bar high. If your brothers aren’t first, your last. Some pax whispers about a 2025 Earl Dibbles bd?!
In August, God was with us in the Danger.
The character arc of Safety Valve from friendly neighbor to Monday Supervillain has been nothing short of amazing. To sum it up best I pulled the YELP reviews from the pax on Mondays after a standard valve bd:
Popeye: Is Valve okay?
White Meat: I’m hurting Linda.
Goose: Does his insurance cover therapy? Asking for a friend.
Pope: I feel a new sensation of being short of breath.
Popeye: seriously, he ok?
…it goes on like that for a few pages.
To honor our much loved merkin maniac YHC called in some classic Kenny Loggins.
Highway to the Danger Valve
IW -Song
Double Merkin Burpee on Danger Zone.
Thanks for never letting off the gas Valveline.
I like the way you hurt a man.
In September God was with us to sharpen Iron.
Remind me again, Whose idea was Iron PAX plus BK 500 in the same month?! We must have been really high on Jersey Mikes that day.
As it happened, September 2024 at F3 Thibodaux was a minefield of some of the most difficult beatdowns we’ve ever attempted. It seems the brain trust up in Greenwood got together this year and decided there was a nationwide deficit in thrusters and burpees. This led to several snot woggle Saturdays where the legs were weakened but the shared suffering was stronger than ever.
To cap off the month we pivoted our annual SV500 into a fall friendly event and this year supported the nonprofit Brothers Keeper. Goose kept tradition by building a ridiculous but well thought out 20 station course that was much more defensible against questionable form. Inch worm merkins and the station 1 Dora still keep pax in cold sweats.
The dark horse team of Valve and Cardinal , now simply known as Second Collection, won the overall category and we’re still investigating that “anonymous” benefactor.
Song:
GreenDay
“Wake me up when September Ends “
On your 6 Hold coupon in press position.
Alt between flutter kicks , heels to heaven , leg raises.
WW3 sit-ups on “September”
Thanks to all who made the BK500 a great success.
In October/November God was with us to converge with our fellow brothers and to celebrate several milestones.
Our Bayou pax of 4 years , Goose with a 5 year and the NOLA region hit the 10 year mark!
These milestones could only be recognized by The GOOSELIZER. (As designed and led by Goose on the spot at Convergence)
A deconstructed SSH montage with plank jacks in between. It’s a thing of synchronized beauty.
Thanks to our NOLA brothers for continued support.
And finally we adjusted our reverse time dilators as we arrived back at December safely at our cozy stage.
December brings the season of Paxmas beatdowns as we prepare the way together. We had to adjust our Christmas carol expectations and even saw an exposed coca Cola Santa for the fraud he is. Chests and Butts were roasted on an open fire as ThighKowsky made a final bow. We saw a new grinch bring the Whoville pain and we were yearning for a YJ soliloquy. All this bringing us to an open field, a sky full of stars and vintage Goosing complete with 9000 pancakes plus a question :“Could we allow God to be bigger than us ?”
Song : God is with Us
Artist: For King and Country
-Coupon High Knees
-Thrusters on God is with Us
The last counting and naming of 2024 then in another slightly less smelly miracle YHC gifted the Push-up Pimp to Valve.
Great year of growth brother.
Announcements
-Get on Da Q Sheet
-Feb 8 It’s only a Mile
-White Mystery Meat Q (TBD)
Prayers
– winter illness’s
– Holiday anxieties
Thank you pax for these gifts and of the opportunity to lead and share together in all things that God provided in 2024.
I’ll wrap us up with a little sprinkle of what Mr. Clive Staples had to say on this matter and as my own challenge for 2025.
“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”
I pray we can see all things in this new year with the Light He provides.
God is with us.
SYITG
Dox
All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.
All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.
Non expanding recreational foam (NERF).
Sounds harmless. Sounds goofy. Sounds, dare I say , fun. But what if YHC told you an individual spent major portions of their life playing with the aforementioned materials and never once asked what it stood for. Now before you go and title my biography “Blissful Ignorance “ let’s go deeper. What if that same individual led an entire sophomore classroom in a riot after answering a teacher “nerf or nothing“ as an answer to an algebra problem. Lots of self worth tied up in a hidden acronym right? That’s the depth of emotional trauma YHC found himself experiencing after learning of the truth about NERF. How many more acronyms were out there, hiding in plain site, ruining lives??Are there others who have been hurt like this? This could happen to anyone!!
Two options were left , stew in my rapidly expanding negativity or let it fuel a recreational campaign so that no man would ever be hurt by an acronym like this again.
So PAX, today I bring you…
ACROGYM!
DUKE !
Convert that DOS to film and Roll the beautiful footage!
9 Tuesday Tuff regulars at the stage with light hints of fall weather.. (no sudden movements, we don’t want to spook it)
YHC moseyed in from a quality control check on Settlement porta potties, reporting to the pax that all were aging like fine wines.
Props to the men who weathered both the sweet and sour Valve beatdowns of Saturday and Monday, many well earned groans were heard in warmups. Valve enjoyed hearing the sweet symphony of weakness leaving their bodies.
We headed into yonder loop with a standard issue Indian Run 3 Apollo drop off.
YHC struggled to find true acronyms named bands or songs so I went all in for a REM mile and peppered the pax with some of their top hits. Goose smelled the competition like a shark with blood and was warming up the neurons connecting Apollos and “Man on the Moon” while giving VH1 level behind the scenes info on their videos. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I found out REM and Depeche Mode existed in the spring of ‘24….everybody hurts, even Goose sometimessss.
Tha THANG
Split into teams
-teams designate a Speaker/writer
(Man must be gifted in writing and moseying simultaneously)
Classic 1/2 numbering stacked up the trivia titans of Americas Best Goose & Suckle (sounds like a really weird bar in Austin…a story for another time) .
They looked around nodding like the trivia version of the 85 Bears linebacker core and YHC had to intervene before someone got hurt.
Somewhat more evenly balanced teams were restored and YHC would serve as live corespondent.
Rules:
-Introduce the Acronym.
-Each team mumbles incoherently then runs in opposite direction to complete 10 jump squats and 10 merkins then run back all while discussing what the acronym stands for.
-Writes answer on board (in a timely and legible manner)
-reveal , winner with most correct words/points
Winner
LBCs/SSH
Loser
10 Thrusters
Tie – 7 burpees
Journal Observations
-I was never offered a bribe for hints which was honorable although significant amounts of snark, board holding, and “cursive writing” were frowned upon.
-Team AB approach:
Step 1: hey does anybody know this one?
Step 2: ask Maneater if he is in IT?
Step 3 : wildly accept guesses on the run back while AB initimidates the other team with his LL stats.
-Team Goose approach
Step 1: Listen in awe at Honeysuckle’s clear logical thought process and bottomless tech vocabulary.
Step 2: repeat step 1 and fill in the gaps with hieroglyphics.
Let’s begin:
LASER
Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission Radiation
Team Goose off to a solid start with what will be the only perfect score. Team AB with 3/5 and ate a thruster sandwich, a bit unfair here as HS deals with “sharks with freaking laser beams” as part of his defense contract
BASE (jumping)
Building , Antenna, Spans, and Earth
Tie Game
Most of the processing speed over at Team AB went to congratulating themselves on making the E “Edge”. Ronnie protested that true courage entails not putting limits on where one can BASE jump.
****Musical Interlude ***
REM
End of the World
IW on Song
Goosie On “End of the World”
*Lenny Bruce checks under his bed for Goosies
CAPTCHA
Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart
Some great chatter over at Team Goose led to a win followed by a flatulent Pope captcha on his father’s own coupon. Can concrete hold scent particles, only Alan Turing knows.
ZIP (code)
Zone Improvement Plan
Tie game as both teams secured “zone” and later spawned a potential “guess that zip code” mini beatdown.
JPEG
Joint Photographic Expert Group
-teams had broken down into crude insults and resume inquiries at this point . No hint of joint expert groups on either side.
TASER
Thomas A Swifts Electric Rifle
-most of the chatter here concentrated on potential for Thomas Rosyters All Natural Bee Rifle – patent pending. Just know if you roll into Rienzi unannounced that he’s packing.
Throwback sprint finale:
DOS (as in MS-DOS)
Disc operating system
Both teams were close enough here to avoid thrusters and the plant siren was calling 6am.
Ronnie passed along Animal to Meat for reckless endangerment while his chest hair alone worked its way up the “voter distraction” list.
Intentions for continued medical work up for mutiple 2.0s
COT and Valve prayed us out
Postscript:
Bacronym to the Future
PAX,
This is Dox writing you from the year 2054, inside the Rienzi stronghold that is now Merica.
We remain the last of our species rebellion in the great ChatGPT war.
We are safe at the moment, between waves of CAPTCHA mediated extermination by the artificial intelligent enemy.
Professor Suckles patented Bee Laser (Blaser) has the stronghold secure and keeps the GPT drones away.
President Wells still leads the human race as he was a pioneer in spotting AIs weakness to understand the futility of passive aggressive unnecessary emails. It was our biggest breakthrough since the war began , allowing us to pinpoint other computer blindspots and communicate under their RADARs with ancient JPEGs and DOS files.
Slowly the remaining members of the human race realized that a small band of men had actually unknowingly been training to beat the CAPTCHA test. You see, AI could scope the width and depth of the internet, calculate algorithms at an instant, and even produce a hi res images of your friends with bicep veins. But gradually we began to find that the gaps of AI knowledge were actually the cornerstones of male bonding.
AI couldn’t decipher the unspoken message of a Nicolas Cage GIF. AI didn’t know why LBC methane labeled as “airport cheese” gets a laugh everytime. There is no processor for understanding why an educated man would make “Turn Down for What” his anthem. Not enough RAM to see why a 10 second video of a snapping Turla could become a lifelong inside joke.
But it was just there.
Outside of the ones and zeroes, in the gloom of our shared suffering and in the image of our creator we gained our edge.
That’s why you men must continue to sharpen the irons of F3 Thib.
One day in the future the CAPTCHA will be at the door.
And when it ask if ye be man or bot?
You will know ..
It’s NERF or nothing .
SYITG
Dox
