The ‘Yote Bowl
By Coyote
The morning presented itself to YHC as crisp and chilly. The crazy winds that had been batting at us all week had taken a break for the weekend: a perfect day for a little F3 flag-football. Pope and YHC set up a field about fifty yards long with five-yard end zones and a first down line halfway through the field.
The Pax showed up quickly, and YHC was not surprised that there were so many 2.0’s, including YHC. Yankee Joe and Brass Monkey showed up a little late, but nobody noticed. YHC and the Pax skimmed over warmups and moseyed over to the Field by Bayou Road, the place where the field was. The teams were assembled, Team 1 consisting of Goose, White Meat, Brass Monkey, Lil Cuz, Bam-Bam, Jackknife, and Pikachu. Team 2 had Man-Eater, Yankee Joe, Cap’n D, Pope, Darrel Strawberry, Duke, and YHC. YHC announced that there would be a football trivia question every touchdown, and every five minutes on the minute, the Pax would have to do five burpees. Team 2 started with the ball, moved down the field, and ended the drive with a disappointing punt. Team 1 got the ball, and after a few plays, were four yards from the first down line on fourth down. They went for it and a pass from Lil Cuz to Brass monkey was batted down. Team 2 got the ball, and finished the drive with a touchdown to Man Eater on a flea-flicker play. The trivia awaited, and “Who has the record for most rushing yards in a season?” tested the knowledge of the Pax. Cap’n D answered with Eric Dickerson: the correct answer. The score was Team 2:7, Team 1:0. Team 1 got the ball, and wasted no time telling us that they were not brushoffs and moved down the field fast. On first and goal, Lil Cuz threw a pass meant for either Goose or Brass Monkey. Either way, they both jumped up, focused on the ball, ready to snag it out of the air…and slammed into each other. Quote Goose, “When I saw that ball in the air, I felt like I was 12 again.” They redeemed themselves and scored on a pass to Brass Monkey. Cap’n D answered the next question, and we played on. 7-7. Next, Man Eater threw a bomb meant for Yankee, but it was intercepted by Cuz. Team 1 Scored on another pass to Goose. 14-7. The next drive was interesting, and YHC’s team stuck to short passes and handoffs, more than half of them going to Pope, and Cap’n D caught a touchdown pass, and answered the question correctly. Game tied 14-14. Team 2 drove down the field, and this drive put the 2.0’s on the map. Bam-Bam caught the first pass of the drive and ran six yards, then he caught another pass for more yards. Then Brass Monkey smashed through Team 2’s entire defense and got a first down. Then Jackknife caught a pass and ran through a wide-open hole to the three-yard line. Then Bam-Bam caught a touchdown pass and Team 1 took the lead 21-14. Again, Cap’n D blew the trivia out of the water. On the first play of the next drive Man Eater threw a bomb pass to Cap’n D, who dove and caught it with his fingertips. But the next play, Man Eater threw a pass meant for Yankee Joe, But Lil Cuz jumped in front and snagged his second interception of the game. Goose took over as Quarterback for Team 1, and they went for it on fourth down, and White Meat dropped a pass. Cap’n D took over as Team 2’s Quarterback, and Yankee Joe caught a pass in the End Zone. 21-21. This time, Yankee Joe answered the question right. Team 1 still had Goose for a Quarterback, and when they got to the five-yard line, Cap’n D rushed Goose, and Goose ran into the End Zone. 28-21. Yankee Joe tramped the trivia, and Team 2 got the ball again. Cap’n D stayed as Team 2’s QB for the rest of the game, and his plays worked every time. After an amazing throw and catch from Cap’n D to Pope, we were at the seven-yard line. A pass to YHC was complete and YHC ran into the end zone and tied the game once again, and Yankee rocked the trivia, answering the question immediately after YHC asked it. 28-28. Team 1 threw three passes that were all batted down, and they punted. Cap’n D threw a huge pass to the other side of the field to Yankee Joe, and Yankee caught it and bowled over the line to give Team 2 the lead 35-28 with two minutes left to play. Team 1 dashed down the field and scored on a pass to Goose. The score was tied again. The trivia was crushed by Joe. 35-35. With 14 seconds left to play, Team 2 lined up fast and an incomplete was thrown. For the last play of the game, Cap’n D threw a Hail Mary to Pope, and Pope caught it and turned around to go for the game-winning touchdown…but then stepped out of bounds. The game ended with a score of 35-35, a tie. The Circle of trust was done, and the ‘Yote Bowl ended. Thank you guys for your prayers, and for a great football game…and beware of ‘Yote Bowl part two: overtime.
Tag: Bam Bam
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The Yote Bowl – from Goose
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Time Dialator – from Goose
As 6:27 rolled around, and YHC still stood in the dark with only Pope and Bam Bam at his side, it was clear that the holidays would have a substantial impact on this Peltch beatdown. We were wondering if the car parked on the far end of the lot held a brooding Yankee Joe or a Monkey made of Brass when out of the lonely gloom did appear a pair of overbright headlights and a camper cover that could only mean one thing–Wet Tap would be easing our sense of abandonment with his warm demeanor and willing muscles. And, it was Brass Monkey after all, waiting for more than one adult to show up before joining the small talk (I don’t blame him).
Just as YHC was figuring modifications for a smaller group, another humanoid was spotted picking his way across the street toward the parking lot. He was too big to be Honeysuckle and coming from the wrong direction, and the F3 on his shirt confirmed that he wasn’t there for travel ball. As he got closer, his glasses and red hair shone in the moonlight revealing the one and only Cardinal! Being called out for fartsacking last time he stayed at his parents’ house across the street from the park had clearly made an impact.
As SSH commenced and transitioned into windmills, grateful for these three PAX and the chance to share the morning with Cardinal, another hard-to-identify vehicle confidently pulled into the lot. Valve? No. Dox in another relative’s truck? No. Tap then correctly identified none other than Percleator!! He had come in the night before for Tap’s DC circle meeting and ran in like he always had in year’s past, like a golden retriever, eyes blazing with excitement, ready for whatever. It was like the first months of F3 Thibodaux all over again. Even Brass Monkey had a striking resemblance to Gordon, a smile permanently on his face, glad to be there, but clearly concerned that Goose is going to take it too far again.
Warmups finished with some much needed Lafayette night clubs after Popeye’s shoulder shredder on Thursday, and we moseyed with a couple of coupons and a couple of tennis balls to the football field. It was, again, locked down like a prison, but YHC knew we’d be fine given that Cardinal was with us and Popeye had shown us last week where the gate beckoned us in through it’s gap in the bars on the far side.
We lined up on the goal line, and YHC split us into two teams. The Thang was designed for teams of 3, so given the fact that there were 7 PAX and one was YHC’s less than consistent 2.0, YHC decided to take him (Bam Bam) and Pope to make it Dawson’s vs. The World. YHC assumed that Bam Bam would slow us down enough to give the foursome a chance. YHC was wrong.
The first Thang was a team suicide in 10 yard increments down the length of the field. While one man stayed on the goal line doing curls, another ran to the 10 and stayed there. The third ran past him, high-fiving him on the way to the 20 where he began doing big boy situps. Upon receiving the high five, the man at the 10 ran back to replace the man at the goal line doing curls, and that man ran to the 30, high-fiving his teammate at the 20, etc. You get the drill.
We did this for three rounds total with the winning team assigning a penalty exercise to the other. The second round was tricep curls at the goal line and Freddy Mercurys on the yard lines, and the third was goblet squats at the goal line and LBC’s on the yard lines.
Bam Bam proved that he’s growing up, and Pope continues to prove that he’s made of some kind of lightweight rubber, so 20 monkey humpers were assigned after each round to team CardTapPercleMonkey. Team Dawson joined the third round of humpers in order to keep the other team from getting bigger quads than them.
After three rounds, a shared desire to stop running had descended upon the PAX, so YHC knew the only thing to do was to keep running. The 2nd Thang would be a version of Rarajapari, where each team is responsible for moving a ball along a given path using only their feet and team strategery. We started at a random cone that was already on the track, and the teams were tasked with getting their tennis ball around twice (half a mile).
Onc completed, 20 more monkey humpers were enjoyed by all before grabbing gear and coupons and heading back through the gap in the fence toward the flag. We dropped the coupons there and then continued to the nearest baseball field for some fistbasetennisball. We basically played baseball with a tennis ball and our fists as bats. It was all against all with each member of the PAX taking turns batting and trying to get around the bases.
The fielders and base runners had to hold plank until the ball was hit and in play, and positions rotated with every batter. Per usual, we had a blast, performances weren’t likely to make Sport Center, and Cardinal somehow took home the win by scoring the most runs. Thankfully, some things never change.
After about 15 minutes of this reward for the gasser at the track, we moseyed back to the flag for one minute of Mary, count offs, name offs, COT, and a photo session that would make Dox proud. YHC was ecstatic for the unexpected time dialation that brought these awesome men together and paired the true OG of F3 Thibodaux with a solid member of the new batch. It was tough to want to part from this gathering, but pancakes, Morgan City, and Baton Rouge wouldn’t wait forever, so after some story swapping and catching Brass Monkey up on some of the origins of so great a PAX, we loaded up, grateful for swollen legs and timeless brotherhood.
SYITG,
Goose -
The Big Picture Hurts Sometimes (by Pope) – from Goose
PAX: Pope, Goose, Bambam, Duke, Maneater, Jackknife, Captain D, Darrell Strawberry, Honey Suckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe
The morning began with YHC coming downstairs to the scene of the average 10 minutes before our family’s departure for something like a doctor’s appointment or church or the like, but at 5:50 am. Reasons for our showing up at 6:27 included our inability to find a suitable cold-weather hat for Duke and an ill-timed wakeup of mini-2.0 (and YHC’s inability to find his object of pacification). Eventually we managed to get moving; we arrived and parked by the field by Bayou Road. We greeted the early PAX by 6:30 and had the usual warmup (SSH, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, windmills, WMH, arm circles, cherry pickers, self-love) then moseyed.
YHC jumped ahead of the PAX, grabbed five cones, and set them up in the field in pentagonal fashion, each about 10 yards apart, with a small piece of Paw Patrol diaper box with much less friendly sharpie handwriting on the blank sides. The rest of the PAX grabbed coupons out of Goose’s truck and fell in inside the pentagon. YHC proceeded to explain the circuit, with exercises corresponding to each stage of man’s journey from his origins to his return to God.
The routine (largely inspired by Coyote’s everything-I-hate formula) was as follows:
· Station 1(the Trinity; the Source of all things)
7 8-ct blockee builders, shoulder-carry coupon to next station
· Station 2 (Creation; man created in God’s image)
7 man-makers, rifle-carry to next station
· Station 3 (The Fall; man is thrust from grace)
15 thrusters, murder bunny to next station
· Station 4 (Redemption; Jesus’ death and resurrection)
15 WW3 situps (modified from 20 after one visit), coupon lunge to next station
· Station 5 (Glorification; man’s return to God)
20 star jumps, block-n-bear back to station 1
The backdrop soundtrack playing during the repetition of the above routine had been laced with a few songs (covers by the Snake Charmer, distinguishable by the bagpipes at the beginning of each of the songs) that acted as circuit-breakers; upon hearing these the PAX stopped wherever they were and ran a lap around the entire field. Station 3 had a catch to it, namely that if a PAX was there doing thrusters when a circuit-breaker sounded, he would have 30, not 15, thrusters now to complete. As a result, thrusters didn’t seem to be as much of a struggle for the PAX today as they usually are.
All the PAX started at station 1 and went at their own pace. Naturally, Goose and Honey Suckle led the way; YHC was drained of q-drenaline, and found what motivation there was to be found in trying not to get lapped by Goose. Additionally, YHC had a realistic experience of the faith journey, frequently hounded by the mental hostility of the adversary (portrayed this morning by Jackknife, who hounded YHC like a dirty little demon in oversized gloves).
The PAX recovered at 7:29 and returned the coupons.
COT and Maneater prayed us out.
Happy 11th birthday to Darrel Strawberry! Congrats on entry to the 11-year-old 2.0 gang of rascals.
Real shoutout to the PAX who showed up this morning, as chatter continued for the entire beatdown. Wishes of abundant graces for us all this Advent.
SYITG, Pope -
The Big Picture Hurts Sometimes (by Pope) – from Goose
PAX: Pope, Goose, Bambam, Duke, Maneater, Jackknife, Captain D, Darrell Strawberry, Honey Suckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe
The morning began with YHC coming downstairs to the scene of the average 10 minutes before our family’s departure for something like a doctor’s appointment or church or the like, but at 5:50 am. Reasons for our showing up at 6:27 included our inability to find a suitable cold-weather hat for Duke and an ill-timed wakeup of mini-2.0 (and YHC’s inability to find his object of pacification). Eventually we managed to get moving; we arrived and parked by the field by Bayou Road. We greeted the early PAX by 6:30 and had the usual warmup (SSH, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, windmills, WMH, arm circles, cherry pickers, self-love) then moseyed.
YHC jumped ahead of the PAX, grabbed five cones, and set them up in the field in pentagonal fashion, each about 10 yards apart, with a small piece of Paw Patrol diaper box with much less friendly sharpie handwriting on the blank sides. The rest of the PAX grabbed coupons out of Goose’s truck and fell in inside the pentagon. YHC proceeded to explain the circuit, with exercises corresponding to each stage of man’s journey from his origins to his return to God.
The routine (largely inspired by Coyote’s everything-I-hate formula) was as follows:
· Station 1(the Trinity; the Source of all things)
7 8-ct blockee builders, shoulder-carry coupon to next station
· Station 2 (Creation; man created in God’s image)
7 man-makers, rifle-carry to next station
· Station 3 (The Fall; man is thrust from grace)
15 thrusters, murder bunny to next station
· Station 4 (Redemption; Jesus’ death and resurrection)
15 WW3 situps (modified from 20 after one visit), coupon lunge to next station
· Station 5 (Glorification; man’s return to God)
20 star jumps, block-n-bear back to station 1
The backdrop soundtrack playing during the repetition of the above routine had been laced with a few songs (covers by the Snake Charmer, distinguishable by the bagpipes at the beginning of each of the songs) that acted as circuit-breakers; upon hearing these the PAX stopped wherever they were and ran a lap around the entire field. Station 3 had a catch to it, namely that if a PAX was there doing thrusters when a circuit-breaker sounded, he would have 30, not 15, thrusters now to complete. As a result, thrusters didn’t seem to be as much of a struggle for the PAX today as they usually are.
All the PAX started at station 1 and went at their own pace. Naturally, Goose and Honey Suckle led the way; YHC was drained of q-drenaline, and found what motivation there was to be found in trying not to get lapped by Goose. Additionally, YHC had a realistic experience of the faith journey, frequently hounded by the mental hostility of the adversary (portrayed this morning by Jackknife, who hounded YHC like a dirty little demon in oversized gloves).
The PAX recovered at 7:29 and returned the coupons.
COT and Maneater prayed us out.
Happy 11th birthday to Darrel Strawberry! Congrats on entry to the 11-year-old 2.0 gang of rascals.
Real shoutout to the PAX who showed up this morning, as chatter continued for the entire beatdown. Wishes of abundant graces for us all this Advent.
SYITG, Pope -
Turn it up to 13 (by Coyote) – from Goose
YHC hopped out of the truck on this dark and refreshingly chilly morning, the Q adrenalin pumping through my body as YHC got ready to unleash the teenage beatdown. “No more fun and games,” YHC thought. “I’m going to give them a real beatdown.” The morning started well, YHC noticing that the number of men present was the biggest that YHC had ever seen at a Coyote beatdown. Suddenly, YHC saw a large white truck roll into the rocky parking lot, and a man I had never seen at a beatdown hop out. “Dumpster Fire?!” YHC guessed. No, an FNG had come to join us! 6:30 came, and suddenly, both Paradox and Goose revealed the game balls, Paradox wearing the Fire Within, and Goose with the Blue-tube. We started with the classic Side-straddle-hops, Safety Valve driving in right as we stopped. The warmups ended shortly after, and YHC introduced what we were going to be doing. “For this beatdown,” YHC started, “I thought I might do everything that I hate, and one of those things is coupons!” The Pax grabbed one for each brave soul, and we moseyed over to the long-forgotten hill by the park. YHC announced, “Another thing that I hate is Dora!” We partnered up, and YHC introduced the exercises, 100 Thrusters, 150 WWIII Sit-ups, and 200 Curls, and the mode of transportation being bear-crawl over the hill, and crawl-bear back. Partners were picked, YHC partnering up with Pope, and Goose started the well-thought-out “F3 Weird Al grinder” playlist.
The Thang commenced, Pope cranking out WWIII’s like nobody was watching. The music was very attention-getting, and when the eleven-minute song “Albuquerque” came up, all ears went to the crazy song. When the Dora was done, we dragged ourselves and the coupons over to the field by Bayou Road, and YHC presented Thang 2. Since YHC is turning 13 on Tuesday, YHC said that we would do 13’s instead of 11’s, one side starting with one 4-count Nolan Ryan, and the other side 12 Inchworm Merkins, all the while listening to Weird Al crank out his parodies. This turned out be way harder than YHC planned, the Nolan Ryans hard to count, and the Inchworm Merkins almost impossible to complete without a little modification.
After the 13’s, YHC presented the final Thang. As much as we could, the Pax and I would try to accomplish a “Tunnel of Love” across the entire field. It failed miserably, the 2.0’s all getting launched into the air by Man-Eater. Exhausted, YHC called out for us to go back to the flag. We lugged our coupons back to the flag, and commenced with the count off, numbering an impressive 16. When the time came to name our victim, we were ready for some weird stuff. The name came out to be “Blue,” or “My boy Blue,” coming from the facts that he was in the navy for 24 years, and he felt like he had to go back to college. I owe him an apology, not meaning for this to be his first beatdown. (Hopefully we’ll see him again…) When shirts came up, Paradox gave the Fire within to YHC for an IPC level workout. (Get ready to see it hanging off my shoulders next week.) Next, Goose passed the Blue-tube to White Meat for showing us the proper way to count Nolan Ryans. Man-Eater prayed us out, and we ended with a characteristic Paradox Pic.
Happy Birthday to all those other birthday boys, Popeye tomorrow, Jackknife, Monday, Wet tap and I Tuesday, and any others not mentioned. Until next time, God bless!
Coyote -
Belch at the Peltch – from Goose
12 men (big and little) gathered courageously at The Peltch for the final, brutal IPC of 2024. For one in particular, it took a lot of courage: the soon-to-be-named L-loyd, Safety Valve’s FNG 2.0, Peyton saw a circle of large, surly men grunting through the dark morning’s tightness, one of whom was wearing what looked to be a woman’s tank top, and he was reluctant to jump in. So was YHC, but not Duke–he was the opposite of reluctant this morning, and he ran to make friends with the other similar sized human form in the gloom, and they warmed up in mini 2.0 fashion about 20 yards away.
Eventually, unable to push off the inevitable any longer, we gathered the gear and headed to the track. The IPC went like this:
8 rounds, 5 minutes apiece: 200 m run, 30 reps of a given exercise, 200m run, and then burpees till the end of the 5 minutes. Count your total burpee reps over the 8 rounds for your “score”. The exercises were as follows:Round 1: Freddy Mercurys
2: Pickle Pounders
3: Flutter Kicks
4. Plank Jacks
5. Monkey Humpers
6. Squats
7. LBC’s
8. SSHSpirits were still high for Round 1 as the PAX mumblechattered their way around the track, the mini 2.0’s sprinted ahead, and all completed more burpees in 2.5 minutes than they expected to. Round 2 on went about as expected: mumblechatter was greatly reduced, the carefully curated playlist became just background noise, Honeysuckle stayed about 40-50 yards ahead of the pack, the mini 2.0’s played imaginary football (or something) on the field, and everything but counts sank into the brain fog.
Despite the threat of takeover from the survival instinct, YHC still had the wherewithal to notice the awesome effort of every man out there, including the medium 2.0s. Nobody walked, and the majority stayed ahead of YHC on the track pushing hard the entire time, keeping the bar high, and not saving anything for the ride home.
Admittedly, YHC was having a hard time performing at any kind of heroic level. The runs were the much needed breaks, and catching up to the front runners felt impossible. And, with only one glove, YHC quickly followed Valve’s lead in taking advantage of the (little bit) softer turf to avoid the cheese grater that the track was on the hands during burpees. His performance (and later Dox’s) right next to me was impressive, as was Honeysuckle’s and everyone who started doing burpees ahead of YHC (which was everyone but Smooth, who remains impressive in his ability to joyfully accept and own the things that are killing him, which usually include lots of running and burpees. Here’s to the clydesdales.).
After round 8, YHC flopped to the ground drinking in the free oxygen before Dox hauled me back to vertical position from which I could see a yard sale of heaving bodies splayed on the track. But, we still had 7 minutes left, so after a 10-count, YHC turned off the Amy Grant, and we headed back to the flag for some Mary. More exercise certainly wasn’t easy, but anything was better than burpees.
At 7:30, we counted off, and during name off shared the number of burpees achieved. YHC though it would be good to allow the monumental feat each man had accomplished to be known and appreciated by others. Each man had something to be proud of, especially Honeysuckle who cranked out 208, earning him the coveted Blue Tube.
In an interesting, cosmic amalgamation of many small circumstances and decisions, Valve and YHC somehow finished at the exact same number. And we didn’t start or stop or take breaks at the same time or anything. What does it mean? What implications does it have? What does it reveal about the space-time fabric of the F3 Universe?
These questions would have to wait as we had an FNG to name. Peyton is into Legos, particularly Ninjago, so it was an easy decision. L-loyd (pronounced “luh-loyd”) was quickly christened, and we’re sure to see his small, fast form sprinting ahead of many a Peltch Indian Run line.
There’s nothing quite like suffering through really tough stuff together with a group of good men, which is why YHC looks forward to September every year. But, thank God it’s over. We did it, and now we can rest on our laurels. Until Monday.
SYITG,
Goose -
Gambling with Minors – from Goose
YHC showed up at the Peltch fully expecting it to be just Maneater and Jacknife joining the truckful of Dawsons on this Independence Day weekend, but what to my wandering eyes should appear, but Cuz, Honeysuckle, and Smooth, each with a 2.0. I think this is actually the first time I’ve ever attended a beatdown with more 2.0’s than 1.0’s. Even if we counted Pope as a full-grown PAX, the little ‘uns still outnumbered us 7 to 6. And, when we finally got them to put the sticks down, it was time to warmup.
Did the usuals, but introduced the Lafayette grass-grabbers, increasing the Lafayette warmup exercises to 30% of the total this morning. You see that math? That kind of quick figuring is what almost got YHC first place in the poker tournament. But, almost means I didn’t. An unlikely victor ran away with the prize, but we had some work to do first.
After the warmup, we moseyed to the farther end of the lower field, and YHC set up Bose with what was assumed to be a blast from the past, a reminder of years we might not want to be reminded of. (…right around the time we learned not to end a sentence in a preposition.) YHC set up Bose, gave instructions, and let fly with “Lucas with the Lid Off”, a top 25 track from 1994 with a Grammy nominated music video. We planked for the duration, toe tapped (reached under and touched opposite foot) for every “catch the vibe” and merkins for every “bubbles”. YHC expected maybe Maneater or at least Honeysuckle had heard it on the radio in middle school, but it was as if I had pulled a deep track from an unpopular album from an obscure Scandinavian country. YHC was like, “But it played on the radio all the time,” and they and every single person on GroupMe were like, “You sure that was a radio?” Whatever–music videos from other dimensions don’t get nominated for Grammys. At least I don’t think they do. But, it did motivate me to see how many other songs seemed to vanish into thin air somehow in future Q’s. More to come on this…
On to the main event, the F3 2024 Poker Tournament. The PVC cards from the Deck of Death were still wet from last time, so shuffling was difficult, but YHC managed, and each man was given 5 cards while each boy was given 3. The men paired up for one on one 5-card draw poker while the boys paired up for battle/war. The loser of each pair had to do the exercises on the cards of the hand with the harder exercises, and the winner did the exercises on the easier hand. If you did your math, like YHC, you’d see that pretty much every card was used (we included the jokers and the instructions cards–they were wild), whihc meant that there was no avoiding the really tough ones. Someone was going to be doing the 25 burpess or the 400m sprint. The jokers were frog hops between trees, which brought back bad memories from not too long ago.
After all 5 exercises (or 3 for the wee ones) were completed, the winners went to the winners’ bracket, and the losers to the losers’ and we did it again. After that round, we had a winning winner’s bracket, a losing losers’ bracket, and a bracket that combined the winning losers and the losing winners from the previous round. YHC and Bam Bam were the final pair to face off for the title of King Poker Face, and he won with a pair of 4s. After getting an actual flush the round before (no wilds), YHC could only muster a king-high, so Bam Bam emerged as the champion, and YHC had to do some sprinting.
With about 10 minutes on the clock, we went all against all, 5-card stud, and somehow Cuz ended up with three kings and a Joker, so the whole PAX did the exercises on the cards in his hand. (Shared suffering is so much better than doing your own sets of different excercises, even if you’re right next to someone else.)
After this, we hustled back to the flag for about 6 minutes of Mary: WWI situps, crunchy frogs, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, Afflecks, and side planks. COT, intentions offered, especially for the PAX on family retreat, and Coyote prayed us out.
Awesome work, fellas! It’s always such a gift to start the weekend with such quality men.
SYITG,
Goose -
Gifts – from Paradox
YHC rolled into the Peltch on his last day of 35 with a song in his heart and some gifts for the pax. On Tuesday YHC had been gifted with the wealth of Fort Knox and now it was time to give back. This day would be about honoring the diverse group of Thib pax and the gifts they bring to all of us. So YHC put together a birthday bucket list of destinations to honor each group .
DUKE! theres too many candles, get out of here, its gonna blowwww!
Warmup
36 SSH and heavy shoulder work to prep the coupon party.
Great to have Toeloop out to work. Sorry you showed up for day 1 of the Dox cardio revenge tour but if your eye doctor calls out a lack of cardio it puts retaliation in the drinking water and YHC got thirsty.
Black Snake Indian run to Thunderdome
Warmup Song
“I’ve Been Everywhere Man ”
Johnny Cash
Plank
Mountain Climbers on Cities/States
Plank Jacks on Everywhere
Merkins on Man
We successfully located Shreveport And Ferriday as LA cities in the chorus and Goose prolly has some friends in a DC circle in Winnamucca or maybe thats Opelika, maybe both.
Da Main Thang- Travel the Bucket List
These are setup as a series of “Amazing Races” and followed by the group they were dedicated to.
1. } Egypt – the Great Pyramid of Geezers
-Dedicated to our aged pax. YHC draws inspiration that we aren’t going to be physical dried up bags after we turn 36. I mean our “older” guys are absolute studs and it’s a gift to see y’all reverse Father Time every beatdown.
1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1 cawn setup
Split into two groups , Opposite sides , Bearcrawl – Burpee with increase at each cawn.
Goose and ladybug were team 36 north and one thing you want to avoid is lining up intentional contact with Goose as he bearcrawls his way to freedom like Andy Dufrene. Valve is still taking ibuprofen as we speak.
2.) Stone Henge
Dedication to the Clydesdales.
Power over finesse , these pax make the coupon look like tea cups.P1 Thrusters
P2 curls
P3 broad jump burpee to cone and back
3.) Great Barrier Reef
Dedicated this one for the creativity of our pax. With a lot of confidence I can attest that our gang is one of the most creative in F3nation. The quality beatdown/backblast combos consistently produced are amazing and every time a flag is planted it’s a good time.
P1 Pick an exericse on the exercise machine tree by the chimney. Been itching to try this thing for years.
P2 Flutter Kicks
P3 suicide
To baseball field
4.)HobbitTown
Dedicated to the Chatter and the Fellowship. While YHC has never been much of a loaner , the quality and depth of fellowship with you men has meant so much. Standing side by side in good times and bad , this fellowship aspect has been a game-changer.
3 man Hobbit Carry
P1 drags P2
P3 does 5 burpees then runs to relieve p1 until around the bases.To pull up bars
5) the beauty hike a volcano in Hawaii …just kidding this one is dedicated to the colon cleansers (YHC included)
p1 mountain Climbers
P2 run to top of volcano
P3 burp ups
Back to Stone Henge for the finale
6.) the Faith
Rome – Vatican City
Dedicated to the mysteries of our Faith and What God provides to sustain us through tribulation.
P1 genuflections
P2 heels to heaven
P3 Carry the burden – coupon lunge walk
Sprint back to flag for COT and Goose prayed us out.
Men , I started F3 at 33 years old and have been floored by what God has provided through this group in the last 3 years of my life. As stated above I know no other way to describe it than a gift.
Thank you for showing up , for your effort and for standing in the fire with me when things get tough.
SYITG
Devin Owens, Paradox, Thirtyyyy Five and holding
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Our Consolation Is Abundant – from Yankee Joe
First and foremost, welcome to @ZZ Leggs and @Elton. The joy of watching Goose and Reluctant Yankee (DRing from NOLA) go Beautiful Mind on us during FNG naming was a gift in itself. Both names are classic. Elton may be YHC’s favorite since the naming of Honeysuckle.
YHC has several grumpy old man pet peeves. One of them is the abundant and obnoxious misuse of the word, “awesome.” That said, YHC should admit he uses the work WAY too much himself. It’s harder to stop saying it than, for example, crossing through the eye of a needle…or perhaps catching the eye of a German optometrist.
To be awesome invokes the fullness of awe. Awe is typically invoked by events such as universe creation, miracles, defeating death, etc. So, when I hear certain PAX who are in their early 20’s and hail from LaRose say, “Bruhhh, those hot wings were AWESOME,” it makes one stop and ponder life in some confusion (and maybe sadness).
Recently, YHC just reached his two-year Manniversary with F3. As many can relate, the F3 experience has been nothing short of a miracle. Sound melodramatic? Well, you be the judge. When YHC moved his family to Thibodaux, he had a few good acquaintances and some old “friends” from previous life chapters. His physical health was right in line with an early 40’s bro who often thought about the glory days. From time to time, he would run for a week or two after seeing a picture in which he saw the gut sticking out. YHC had no faith practice to speak of. Prayers happened when the S#&@ was hitting the fan or he was getting his teeth kicked in by life, in general.
Blessed as he was to have a beautiful and growing family, along with a solid-ish career track, there was always something missing. “Something missing” is a dangerous place for a man to hang out…in between his ears…looking at deceivingly greener pastures elsewhere.
So…with F3 came:
1) meaningful friendships;
2) the best physical/emotional shape in his life…since 1997;
3) an awakening toward a faith life, leading ultimately to a full conversion to Catholicism;
4) everything rich fruit that bountifully follows as a result of the previous three points.
Still sound melodramatic? Deal with it, Pop.
Coming up on his first year since confirmation in the Catholic Church, YHC is certainly not on the ballot for any ‘rookie of the year’ awards. That said, his faith has deepened in ways he never knew possible. Having never walked the Stations of the Cross before, it is these types of faith engagement of which YHC is just starting to now scratch the surface. And dang, bro…it’s some powerful stuff.
After some thought and clumsy prayer, YHC settled on a ‘Stations of the Cross’ beatdown for Holy Saturday. The night before, YHC had a vision for how this could play out: 14 cones (or cawhns in North Louisiana). At 11 pm that night, the cones were no longer dramatic enough. YHC needed more.
12 cinders and 12 cedar fence boards later, seven (7) crosses were hastily built. The PAX would go seven stations out (20 yards in between) and seven stations back. We would treat it as closely as time would permit to actually walking the Stations.
However, in our version, we would lunge-walk with coupons in between stations (aka…walking genuflections) to symbolize bearing our own crosses. For each station, YHC read the leader’s prayer, the PAX responded, selected scripture was read aloud, followed by three (for the Triduum) exercises for the station. The third exercise was designed to consistently be six (6) man makers. Why? God made man on the sixth day.
We would not have time to complete all exercises for all stations, but the PAX arrived at the 14th Station with two minutes to spare, picked up their coupons and sprinted back to the flag. The lunge-walks were brutal, the man makers were nauseating, and the side by side partner squats were disturbing…but not as awkward as the Suzanne Somers goblet squats.
YHC will refrain from further narration. It’s not about him or the PAX…or the external validation derived from a quality backblast. On Saturday, seventeen men and soon to be men entered into Christ’s Passion.
It was actually…
Awesome.
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Stations
I. Jesus Is Condemned to Death
20 Prisoner squats
20 Nolan Ryans – both sides
6 man makersII. Jesus Carries His Cross
20 Goblet squats
20 WWI sit-ups (no block)
6 man makersIII. Jesus Falls the First Time
20 Burpees
20 Mountain climbers (2:1)
6 man makersIV. Jesus Meets His Mother
20 flutter kicks w block
20 WW2 Sit-ups with block/ or modify without
6 man makersV. Jesus Is Helped by Simon of Cyrene
20 partner air squats (side by side)
20 Alternating partner shoulder tap merkins
6 man makersVI. Jesus Is Comforted by Veronica, Who Wipes His Face
20 apolo ohno’s (1:1)
20 chilcutt jacks
6 man makersVII. Jesus Falls Again Beneath the Weight of the Cross
20 burpees, hand release merkins at bottom
20 LBCs w/ block
6 man makersVIII. Jesus Comforts the Women of Jerusalem
20 Suzanne Somers (squats, toes pointed out)
20 J-Lo’s (2:1)
6 man makersIX. Jesus Falls for 3rd Time
20 Bonnie Blair’s (2:1)
6 man makersX. Jesus Stripped of His Clothes
20 Thrusters
6 man makersXI. Jesus Nailed to the Cross
20 Star jumps
6 man makersXII. Jesus Dies, Commending Himself to the Father
20 genuflections
20 V-ups
6 man makersXIII. Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross and Placed in the Arms of Mary
20 WW3 sit ups w/ block or modify to WW2 sit ups
20 Leg lifts holding block straight up
6 man makersXIV. Jesus is Placed in the Tomb of Joseph of Arimathea
Coupon run back to flag
6 man makers -
The St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox
Our tale begins in the spring of 2022 in a small bayou town where a community pharmacy, after taking losses from storm and plague, had great need. After decades of providing vital prescription medicine for those in need, this team of volunteers now searched for the same helping hand. The Pax of F3 Thibodaux heard the call, and a plan was devised. We consulted our sage leader for advice. This HIM had carried the torch of 3Fs from the Mandevillage many moons ago. He knew the way of the pax and was skilled in the smithing of a fine beatdown. He peered into the gloom with a thousand-mile stare and the fate of the fundraiser hung in the balance. “if you build it..they will come” Goose said with a nod and then promptly vanished into a flurry of burpees. With a team formed and a grant secured we dove into the work.
An event was needed and a place to rally the pax. A race, but not just any race. A challenge of physical and mental strength that would call to the hearts of the Louisiana PAX. A series of pain and cardiovascular torture so intense that no self-respecting HIM of F3 Nola could resist. It was forged in the caves of .word files and hammered through the gmail circuit boards. Welded to perfection one station at a time. A burpee here, a bonnie blair there. Precious metals adorned it at every corner to award prepared pax but many traps lay waiting for poor form. It was written, and it was done and it was beautiful.The beacons of aid were lit! Thibodaux called for aid…and our brothers answered.
39 PAX (including 6 FNGs!) assembled at the stage on a gorgeous bayou morning! They came from northern shores and from western banks. From uptowns and motherships. From Grannies and Lakefronts. They came in calf sleeves, mudgears and some even bare of foot! Namesakes that struck fear like Shooter and Tanked. Some that drew intrigue like Hokie and Hawg. Famed backblasters we had read for years like Steve and Akbar. Even legends of the gloom like Frac and the Reluctant Yankee, who were there when the deep magic was gifted to us from the eastern coast. They followed a lonesome bayou road and mumbled Deliverance jokes along the way. They came as one to help a great cause and lock shields with their brothers in the bayou. The course was set, pleasantries exchanged, and the only thing left to do was make a run at 500. Let’s get to it…Warmup
Goose gave the disclaimer and race details, and pointed out key safety and strategy reminders. Each two-person pax team would start at a numbered station along the course. Once the horn was blown, they would begin at their station and advance. Each station had 3 options: bronze, silver or gold. (Worth 10, 15 and 25 points respectively. So, a perfect score of gold at all 20 stations would reach the mythical 500 points. These corresponded to the number of reps completed by a team combined. They then would grab the token and secure it in an advanced technology carrying case (Ziploc bag). Head for the next station and rinse and repeat until you have finished 20 stations or ran out of time.
After this was explained he led a thunderous cadence of our usuals stage warmups. This was YHCs first experience with a >20 pax group and the big group energy was powerfulTHE THANG
Pair up, line up and we were numbered off 1-19 (one team of 3). Each team headed for their station and when GI Joe hit the airhorn it was geaux time. The stations were as follows:
STATIONS:
1. Merkins- 40, 80, 120
2. Bobby Hurleys—30, 60, 90
3. Freddy Mercuries—50, 100, 200
4. Coupon Curls—40, 60, 100
5. SSH: 50, 100, 150
6. Carolina Dry Docks- 40, 60, 100
7. Big Boy Sit Ups- Partner does big boys, one partner sprints to next station and back. 100, 150, 200 situps
8. Side lunges (2 is 1)- 40, 80, 120
9. Coupon OHP- 40, 60, 100
10. Burpees- 30, 50, 100
11. LBC’s- 50, 100, 200
12. Peter Parker Merkins- 30, 60, 90
13. Bonnie Blair (2 is 1) 40, 60, 100
14. Brick Back Flys- 50, 100, 200
15. Leg Raise Dora – One partner Leg raises, one partner bear crawl to next station and run back. 50, 100 or 200
16. Mission Impossible Plank- combined time: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes
17. Coupon Swings- 40, 60, 100
18. Prisoner Squats – 50, 100, 150
19. Mountain Climber (2:1) 50, 100, 200
20. Arm Circles while partner crabwalks to next station and runs back. Complete 100, 200, or 400After 1 hour of “Pax vs St. Vincent course” the dust settled and everyone returned to the flag. Chatter was high about the difficulty of the layout, the supreme fun had traversing the course and low rumblings of scores north of 400 permeated the air. A few teams completed counting up their coins while we began the count off, and name off. YHC was impressed with the veteran naming experience of NOLA and northshore pax. Their FNG naming skills were unparalled and we left with six newly minted local PAX: Welcome Sir Lawrence, Kodiak (CodyYak), MeatSweats, One Call, Wallflower and Lambchops. Looking forward to getting yall in the mix.
Now down to serious business. YHC and Goose dramatically unveiled the official St. Vincent 500 dual trophies for the final presentation. Imagine a 12-inch manifestation of the love child between Hulk and Stretch Armstrong, in a full rage pose. Victory is all he has ever known. After appropriate oooohhhhs and ahhhhsss Goose led a suspenseful point count-off to see who the last team was standing. In the end, the combination of Tanked Up and Speedy Gonzalez tallied 470 points and took home the first annual St. Vincent 500 trophy! T- Claps on those numbers gentlemen. Phenomenal effort. We’ll all be gunning for you next year.
Coffeeteria after provided by our St. Vincent de Paul board and it was great to get a chance to talk shop with all the pax and compare notes on course strategy.
YHC could not have envisioned the tremendous amount of support we would receive from both our local community and our F3 community for this cause.
So grateful for each one of you who spent your weekend time and energy for this event.At the time of writing this backblast we have raised $10, 451. 51!! This goes directly to purchase of prescription medicine for those individuals in need. Praise God!
Thank you for the oppurtunity to lead.
SYITG,
Paradox
