F3 New Orleans

Tag: BD (G version) Ballz Deep (adult version)

  • 4-Mile Mayhem – from Shooter

    This is nowhere near as epic as the previous one, but we did our best with less time. I hope you all enjoy:

    The sun had barely risen when Shooter, smelling faintly of gunpowder and deer pee, rallied the troops for a 4-mile run through the suburban wilderness. Clad in camo shorts and suspicious confidence, he declared, “If we see a squirrel, it’s dinner.”

    Waterpik, always fresh from a fluoride rinse and reeking of peppermint, warned everyone to floss or die. He spent most of the run critiquing everyone’s gum health between wheezes.

    Bushwacker tried to take a shortcut through some hedges, screaming “I’m one with the landscape!” before tripping over a sprinkler head and performing a full scissor-kick dismount into someone’s rosebush. Nature: 1, Bushwacker: bloodied. It’s not the first time we has scissoring during a beatdown in Mandeville

    Hammer, the group’s legal eagle, spent the entire run drafting a class-action lawsuit against cardio. He cited mental anguish, chafing, and unsolicited motivational phrases as grounds for litigation. He began quoting 80s legal dramas, which most of us could not recall. We simply pleaded the 5th.

    Ballz Deep, who insists tennis counts as both cardio and therapy, ran in short shorts and a headband, aggressively grunting with every step like he was serving at Wimbledon. People stared. Children cried. He never broke pace.

    Then came Jose10k, part educator, part miracle worker, and fully out of place among this testosterone-fueled chaos. He delivered inspirational quotes mid-stride and tried to turn the run into a teachable moment. Unfortunately, nobody passed his pop quiz on “Proper Pacing and You.” So he decided to Ruck. He was going to quote Dangerous Minds while listening to Coolio, just to change up his play list to appease Cowbell.

    They finished the 4 miles sweaty, slightly broken, and somehow closer than ever. No records were broken, but egos certainly were. One thing’s for sure: adult fitness looks less like a Nike ad and more like a comedy sketch filmed in slow motion.

    Same time next week? God help us.

  • Ruckers Rule!! – from Shooter

    With mild conditions 7 Hims took the 💊 to get out there and put in some work.
    5 mins of warmup and then YHC sent the Ruckers out for 20 out and 20 back who ruled the day over the runners. Runners took the East Causeway approach sticking to the sidewalks, through Golden shores and to the entrance gate and back down Messina to the AO..
    Wrapped up with some Mary.

    Closed out with COT, until the next Gloom
    👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Run Cajun Run Mumblechatter, and Teethchatter – from Ballz Deep

    Another Thursday, another 5k. The saddle is starting to feel familiar again after the holiday hiatus. The usual suspects arrived at 5:15. Although we miss #The Hammer as he prepares for the Louisiana Marathon. He will return soon!

    Jose 10k, Steve, Shooter, and I rounded out the group on this cold Thursday morning. Warmups were:
    10 count Ass Grabbers
    10 count side straddle hops
    10 count arm circles, front/back
    10 count windmills

    An “Elevens” modification was used to honor 01-09 before the normal running route:
    1 mountain climber, 9 merkins… 2 mtn climbers, 8 merkins, and so forth. 45 pushups total helped get the blood viscosity higher.
    Mumblechatter included learning the great Run Cajun Run group names. Talked outdoor sports with Shooter. Talked the merits of deermeat burritos, how to justify buying a boat off love for fish tacos, why Adam Sandler never picked Steve for pickup basketball in LA, and how unlikely the Steelers are to beat the Ravens Saturday. #Shooter led the way on a double 3.8 mile loop around Hermitage Court. That, plus the “elevens” modification had us return with 2 minutes to spare. Run Cajun Run announcement, and COT to finish. Plenty of hearty mumblechatter to distract us from the teethchatter.

  • KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k

    Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?

    We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.

    Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.

    After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)

    Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”

    We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.

  • Coming to you live in 25, first Saturday beatdown of the year! – from Jose10k

    OK Waterpik was the only one out there early doing the pre-thing. It was a nice chilly morning. Started off with the usual warm-up size straddle hops torso twist grass grabbers windmills you know you got the usual Bushwacker grumble grumble as always. All right mosey to Noah’s ark this is where my partner in crime Jv took over. It was a simple Dora 100 Americans 200 LBC’s 300 squats while partner one did the exercise partner to ran the block. After that I took over and we decided to mosey to the marsh stopping at every other stop sign to do 23 squats 10 Merkens in honor of Notre Dame winning 23 to 10 against Georgia. Once we got to the basketball courts, we split it up into three teams each team two teams battling on the basketball courts for six minutes while the third team was on the playground equipment doing sets of five pull-ups 10 Merkins 15 squats rinse and repeat over and over again Both teams ended up in a tie which to be honest I didn’t prepare for that so we kind of waste a little bit of time trying to figure out who was gonna be the next team up. My team got destroyed Truecoat and Zoolander, which is too much in the paint for our only one basketball player Grundy to try to compete against him then we mow it all the way back straight around there circled around the flag And then Butt Splice and Manny join us for coffee afterwards, which is always a pleasant surprise and that’s about it nightmare after Christmas or nightmare before Valentine’s Day or nightmare during Mardi Gras season or hell it might be nightmare on Memorial Day, but Grundy’s getting some coming soon so be on the lookout for thatI appreciate y’all coming out. Appreciate Jv help me you and I’d say I’m out. See you in the glom gentlemen.

  • I have the Q, you have the Q? – from Jose10k

    5 HIMs showed up this chilly morning to put some miles in. No one was on the Q sheet, so YHC picked it up. Apparently the site Q and Waterpik had some correspondence prior to. Oh well, I led the warm up, the Shooter took the runners on the usual route. BD and I rucked to the pier and back. Prayers for those families and service men affected in the Quarter

  • Ruck was the right call!! – from Shooter

    The Gloom was crisp and cool, so 7 HIMs decided to take the pill to get after it.

    Warmup was a mix of 10 & 15 IC of Imperial walkers, Hillbillies, Grass grabbers, seal claps, seal jacks, toe touches, butt kicks and slow squats..

    YHC decided to join Ringo as he was the only Rucker around.. Wise choice by the Q for two reasons. One was the soreness lingering from the previous beatdown at the Gipper with Dinghy but the second was the best as it allowed me to catch up in chatter on how things have been with Ringo..

    Sent the gazelles out on the traditional route with two loops and this included the savage Jose10k. I heard in closing he has joined forces with Steve for the Turkey trot and will be present Turkey morning at the Scramble as well.. What discipline and dedication is all I can say..

    All arrived back at the same time 0555 where we dropped to our 6 and completed E to Ks, flutters and penguins ending with a PAX choice ring around the circle of shoulder taps, plank jacks, Peter Parker’s, merkins, groiners and donkey kicks..

    Closed with the FINAL Turkey announcement for the Scramble, COT.

    Until the next Gloom!!!

  • Bleeping Walls of Jericho, VQ – from Ballz Deep

    As the light dappled across lake Ponchartrain, it was clear in @Chewy’s eyes he regretted posting. In fact, on this day, @Ballz Deep’s VQ, I think he regretted EH’ing me 9ish months ago.

    Arm circlesx10forward/x10backward, hillbilly walkersx10, ass grabbersx10 (thanks @Jose 10K I need to practice that Exicon!), windmillsx10, and side straddle hopsx25 for the warmup. I empathize with @Brexit, as English is his second language, in learning cadence. That stuff is hard!!

    Mosey’d to The Shaft, where accelerated fitness awaited us.

    Main Workout: Shuttle Run “bleep test” and Wall of Jericho.

    Shuttle Run level + Wall of Jericho had to equal 12. i.e. – level 5 shuttle run finish, leaves you with 7 rounds of the Wall of Jericho workout. Wall of Jericho (7 exercises of 7 reps +1 lap around cones and The Shaft) were Plank Jacks, SMKs (2 is 1), Burpees, Air Squats, Mountain Climbers (2 is 1), American Twists (2 is 1), and Flutter Kicks (2 is 1).
    A round of 7s (mtn climbers and flutter kicks) plus Indian Run and a plank-0-rama closed us out.

    Chance, Buttsplice’s nephew, joined us! FNG named WetSocks, for his astounding ability to run from the Shaft to Homebase in a pair of socks.

    P.S – I believe I’m forgetting the 16th PAX. I’m sorry. Reply if you remember, and I’ll edit/add you.

    SYITG!

  • Back to Routine – from Shooter

    Doubled the count from last Thursday.
    Six runners of different paces and two Ruckers.
    Weather was mild and after brief warmup and chatter PAX ran the old Route.
    Returned for Mary.

    Count, announce and COT

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼✌🏼✌🏼!!

  • Goodness Gracious Great Ballz of Fire! – from Bushwacker

    The PAX showed up deep… Ballz Deep! 7 men started off, picking a a bicycling Bean with his own burning ballz (recovering from a minimally painful, though high anxiety snip) on Vermont. Tank, and BD trailed YHC, who was trying desperately to keep up with Speedy, while Shooter, Legal, and Bean moved at a leisurely pace with lively mumblechatter on a lovely morning. Parrot had spread his wings for some early miles and flew about as he saw fit. As per usual, the Future-Olympian Will I Am jumped in and blazed back to the coffee spot on our return. Sweetly satisfying Sunday shenanigans were shared and some EH was thrown about at the finish line upon meeting Zack and his buddy, training for the Northshore Half. Until next week meet,

    SYITG