F3 New Orleans

Tag: Butt Splice

  • Nickel and Dimed to Death OR Steve Is a Mean Stupid Face – from Bushwacker

    First off, let’s just take a moment to recognize the Pax that got out there early for the pre-thang – I think there were 7-8 guys? And that’s not counting Jose and JV, who started even earlier to roll at their own pace. AND, an additional t-claps to Jose for not only EH’ing JV, but also for getting out to the Marsh extra early for a pre-pre-thang of 30 minutes of pull-ups.

    And I’d argue we were off to a good start even before that, when in the wee hours of the morning the temperature mercifully dipped down into the mid-60’s. That small fact made all the difference – were it not for those 8-10 degrees, JV (by his own admission) would’ve punched that guy on roller blades in the face. And hasn’t Christian Slater suffered enough these last few years?

    Usual warmorama (can you decode them all?): WM’s, IW’s, GG’s, HB’s, AC’s, SSH’s. And 20 Merkins OYO.

    Split Q today, with YHC (Steve right now), up first. I tried to find the most pricker-filled patch of grass to mosey to for our first set of:

    Nickel and Dimes I:
    5 burpees, 10 hand release merkins, then SSH until next minute – for a total of 5 minutes. (Shout out to Catfish who taught me that one way back when.)

    Many noticed PI’s entrance at this point, but few saw Zoolander’s sly exit.

    Next up: Partner Races (or foot races, if Turtle had been there):
    Line up at the start of Marigny for a sprint down the longest block known to man. Winner does 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.

    Tank, who positioned himself as the final sprinter, noted that every guy looked good running that block. “If I was passing by and saw those guys, I’d say, ‘Wow, those guys are athletes.’” High praise from the leader of the gazelles.

    Back at the pricker-filled, ant-infested (sorry Bird) patch of grass for:

    Nickel and Dimes: First Blood Part 2
    10 Sister Mary’s (2:1), 5 squats, plank until next minute. 5 minutes.

    And another partner race down Marigny, with winner taking 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.

    There were plans for Nickel and Dimes III: Nickel and Dimed With A Vengeance, but thankfully Bushwacker had arrived and it was time to cede leadership duties. Even I was hating myself by this point. (Though I’ll point out, quite a few guys still had plenty fuel left in the tank for Wacker – including Russo, who was somehow able to calculate the age of Madonna’s hoo-ha in between Side Straddle Hops [approx. 130 yrs old, if I heard correctly].)

    So without further ado, time to turn the pages of this backblast over to the man himself, the Wacker of Bushes (and here you thought he was the long-winded one!).

    Geez! Chatty Cathy, huh, guys?

    Anyhoo, YHC got a taste of this race business (10 Burpees courtesy of Mr “I’m not really trying hard” Tank), and no thank you sir! Instead, a healthy order of circuit training was on the menu.

    All OYO, plank for the 6:

    50 100s, 40 SSH (single count), 30 Freddy Mercury’s (2is1), 20 Jump Squats, and 10 Burpees. 1 lap around Noah’s Ark and plank for the six. I reckon we made it through 5 or six rounds, with the final lap continuing to the flag.

    COT

    Count, Name, Steve prayed us out. Guys, I don’t know why you put up with Steve and his shenanigans, but I know he appreciates the allowance of said pied piper status. On a much more humble note, I appreciate this brotherhood and the ability to contribute in any small way to its lively and fulfilling existence.

  • Nickel and Dimed to Death OR Steve Is a Mean Stupid Face – from Bushwacker

    First off, let’s just take a moment to recognize the Pax that got out there early for the pre-thang – I think there were 7-8 guys? And that’s not counting Jose and JV, who started even earlier to roll at their own pace. AND, an additional t-claps to Jose for not only EH’ing JV, but also for getting out to the Marsh extra early for a pre-pre-thang of 30 minutes of pull-ups.

    And I’d argue we were off to a good start even before that, when in the wee hours of the morning the temperature mercifully dipped down into the mid-60’s. That small fact made all the difference – were it not for those 8-10 degrees, JV (by his own admission) would’ve punched that guy on roller blades in the face. And hasn’t Christian Slater suffered enough these last few years?

    Usual warmorama (can you decode them all?): WM’s, IW’s, GG’s, HB’s, AC’s, SSH’s. And 20 Merkins OYO.

    Split Q today, with YHC (Steve right now), up first. I tried to find the most pricker-filled patch of grass to mosey to for our first set of:

    Nickel and Dimes I:
    5 burpees, 10 hand release merkins, then SSH until next minute – for a total of 5 minutes. (Shout out to Catfish who taught me that one way back when.)

    Many noticed PI’s entrance at this point, but few saw Zoolander’s sly exit.

    Next up: Partner Races (or foot races, if Turtle had been there):
    Line up at the start of Marigny for a sprint down the longest block known to man. Winner does 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.

    Tank, who positioned himself as the final sprinter, noted that every guy looked good running that block. “If I was passing by and saw those guys, I’d say, ‘Wow, those guys are athletes.’” High praise from the leader of the gazelles.

    Back at the pricker-filled, ant-infested (sorry Bird) patch of grass for:

    Nickel and Dimes: First Blood Part 2
    10 Sister Mary’s (2:1), 5 squats, plank until next minute. 5 minutes.

    And another partner race down Marigny, with winner taking 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.

    There were plans for Nickel and Dimes III: Nickel and Dimed With A Vengeance, but thankfully Bushwacker had arrived and it was time to cede leadership duties. Even I was hating myself by this point. (Though I’ll point out, quite a few guys still had plenty fuel left in the tank for Wacker – including Russo, who was somehow able to calculate the age of Madonna’s hoo-ha in between Side Straddle Hops [approx. 130 yrs old, if I heard correctly].)

    So without further ado, time to turn the pages of this backblast over to the man himself, the Wacker of Bushes (and here you thought he was the long-winded one!).

    Geez! Chatty Cathy, huh, guys?

    Anyhoo, YHC got a taste of this race business (10 Burpees courtesy of Mr “I’m not really trying hard” Tank), and no thank you sir! Instead, a healthy order of circuit training was on the menu.

    All OYO, plank for the 6:

    50 100s, 40 SSH (single count), 30 Freddy Mercury’s (2is1), 20 Jump Squats, and 10 Burpees. 1 lap around Noah’s Ark and plank for the six. I reckon we made it through 5 or six rounds, with the final lap continuing to the flag.

    COT

    Count, Name, Steve prayed us out. Guys, I don’t know why you put up with Steve and his shenanigans, but I know he appreciates the allowance of said pied piper status. On a much more humble note, I appreciate this brotherhood and the ability to contribute in any small way to its lively and fulfilling existence.

  • Hit the Bricks! OR When Everyone’s Falling Apart, It’s Time to Push ‘Em Harder – from Bushwacker

    With May weather showing up in February, who knew we would get more 50s in the morning! It was a welcome way to start a challenging beat down on what will prove to be a gorgeous day! For YHC, this morning was about putting my money where my mouth is. There have been some grumbles about the same people signing up to lead the same workouts, and, to be quite honest, the work outs and moral are suffering. How creative, challenging and dynamic can a Q be with his beat down, when he’s lead the same one on the same day 30 out of the last 40 times?! So Bushwacker’s name was added to the sign up sheet and he brought the pain! (maybe a little too much?)

    WARMORAMA

    With Q running a little behind setting up props for the main-ish event, Zoo lander was kind enough to get things started with some Toe Touches and 1 or 2 other exercises. QIC continued with: IC 5 Torso Twists, x10 High Knees, Butt Kicks, Scuba Steves, Mountain Climbers, Shoulder Taps

    THANG

    OYO 100 Lunge Walks towards the west, then mosey to The Shaft.

    1st and 10:

    Markers were set up on the sea wall at 20′ intervals (not enough room for 10 yard intervals). Starting at the 1st marker each man started 11’s with 10 merkins and 1 Burpee in the same place. After, sprint to the last marker and recovery run back to the second marker for 9 Merkins and 2 Burpees, sprint to the end, recovery walk to marker 3, etc. etc. When finished, return to the start and Plank or core exercise to wait for the 6. It was as the process was being explained that Grundy graced us with his presence.

    After all the PAX (and then Jose) had finished, they took advantage of the markers to run Suicides (or Gaskets, Wind Sprints or whichever moniker you prefer).

    Next was a mosey back to the Gazebo, which was when Grundy revealed his inhaler on account of a mild asthma attack! He eventually made it to find Akbar’s Ring of Fire in progress. Whereas the Ring of Fire is a circle of Planks where each man drops for a Merkin as the count reaches him, Akbar’s version consists of a Merkin followed by a leap to to your feet and a hop with hands raised, all in a Burpee-ish fashion. 50 some-odd counts later, the Pax returned to 100 Lunge Walks OYO then mosied the rest of the way to the flag.

    By this point JV was stealing Jose’s grumble thunder regarding all of this darn running, on account of a lingering mystery injury to his foot/ankle. At the flag: 25 Jump Squats OYO, on the wall for: IC Freak Nasties, Irkins, Dirkins, and 25 OYO Box Jumps, where the acutely winded Grundy barked his shin on the cocnrete wall. EMT Todd was on sick leave, and since almost-Eagle Scout Baby Yoda was not present, the always prepared and ever dependable Zoolander leapt into action grabbing a first aid kit from his truck for a little BLS work on the twice-felled Grundy.

    Mosied to Noah Ark and circled up for a variation of Global Warming, where Holding AL Gore, each Pax counted off as they popped up (or squatted lower) individually, counting to 100.
    Mosied back to the flag for…

    MARY

    IC x25 Flutter Kicks, 20 Hello Dollys, 20 Wife Pleasers, 25 Freddy Mercurys, OYO 100 100’s

    COT

    Count, Name, we lost a few of our brethren along the way in Waterpik, Bird, and Grundy, though some came back, in the ineffably resilient Grundy,and some joined late, in Maverick, and later, in Cowbell (Starsky). Speaking of joining us, even though YHC missed his latest actual return last week, welcome back Cotter in Butt Splice! He was kind enough to pray us out on this lovely lovely day.

    The Endurathon benefiting the Nehemiah Project is coming up on March 17-19 at area 3 group camp at Fontainbleau Sate Park. Support the F3 team by sponsoring a loop, or joining in running a loop with Jose, Hammer, Speedy, or Tank. There will be camping Friday and Saturday night so bring the fam!

    The Fury, the Northshore’s 7th anniversary convergence will be on Saturday April 1 starting at 6am on the Lakefront. 12 45 min beat downs, 12 Qs, every hour on the hour! Come for 1, 2, or 12 like Tank. Drinks at the Barley Oak to follow at 6pm. See Slack for the sign up sheet to see who will be Q and to let F3 know which beatdowns you wish to attend. Let’s get a crowd all day long!

    And finally, making this thing – OUR thing – the best it can be, as well as the most attractive to sad clowns and other guys who generally might consider joining us, it takes the effort and dedication of all the PAX. If, excuses aside, your schedule legitimately allows it, consider coming out to a week day beat down and see your brothers more than once a week. As long as Ive been in F3 I can truly say that getting up has been treacherously challenging some mornings, but not once have I EVER regretted getting to a beatdown!
    And while we’re at it, let’s give Russo, Akbar, Shooter, and Waterpik a break and commit to a few Qs. Sign up and let’s get as full as we can a month out each month.

    Big congratulations to Amnesia who, rumor has it, has accepted job offer in Pennsylvania, and to Cowbell and Mrs Cowbell who are expecting TWINS!!!

    Gentlemen, I remain humbled by the opportunity to lead such a fine group of guys, and appreciate your willingness to follow that sometimes fickle, sometimes grueling, sometimes non-sensicle lead

    Bushwacker Sr.

  • Kickball Redeaux – from Akbar

    21 strong at the Lakefront for a redeaux of Kickball. This time, it was simple.

    Conditions
    Wet, muggy, just another day in SE Louisiana.

    Warm Up
    SSH x20 IC, Grass Grabbers, Butt Kicks, Self Love, High Knees, Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Merkins – x15 -10 IC

    Thang
    Mosey to the baseball field, count off 1’s and 2’s and teams were made. Regular rules apply this go round, with exercises called by QIC at random of Merkins and Sister Mary Catherines. Team 2 came out strong with a big lead, while Team 1 went 3 and out pretty quickly. A modification was made to not let all the kids kick first, and it was better. After a couple of innings, we were getting stomped. At this point, Mathlete had a suggestion that YHC implemented- Team 2 would have to Bear Crawl the bases to give us a chance. We made a short rally, but still got squashed by double digits.

    We headed back to the flag a little early since we didn’t really exercise that much and YHC implemented the Red Hot Chili Pepper. A standard of Hogcycle, we did Merkins and Squats to finish out in 3 rounds. Merkins and Squats x20 IC, Merkins and Squats x15 IC, Merkins and Squats x 10IC

    Count, Name
    Announcements

    Sept 10 5k/5mile at Covington trailhead

    Iron Pax is coming in September

    Hammers bible study Wednesday at 8:30 at the Crisi Pregnancy Center

    Bubba prayed us out with special prayers for JV’s Grandma who passed this morning at 98.

    Head to Coffeeteria and called it a day

    Thanks for following my lead – Akbar

  • The (Birthday) “Cake Walk” – from Grundy

    One might ask why someone would willingly hang around a group of guys who without fail would say that they hate them at the end every workout. To continue to endure that type of verbal abuse for 4 and a half years seems insane. But on this specific July 10th, those words would not be obligatorily uttered any more. The word “hate” would be replaced by silence. On this specific day, YHC moved over into the realm of “Those Who Shall Not be Named” (Those Who Shall Not be Named = The age group of 30-49 where you earn no extra “hate” or “respect”).

    I was now free of hate but had strangely grown accustomed to hearing it! So, in order to receive the word I had heard every workout for 4 ½ years, I had to give the PAX another reason to “hate” me. No problem, that would be a “cake walk”.

    Pre-Thang
    Normal warmup sequence commenced In Cadence ranging from 10-30 counts.
    • SSH
    • Windmills
    • Good Mornings
    • Arm Circle Series

    The Q then took the PAX on a longer than typical mosey to Milestone Marsh where the cake walk would begin.

    The Thang
    Credit Zoolander for saying the week previously that it would be funny to create a workout sequence called the “cake walk” that actually was really difficult. Challenge accepted! Since the beatdown would be on the Qs actual 30th birthday, it just made too much sense to create a workout that had the word “cake” in it. After a quick poll via GroupMe from both the Northshore and Southshore, a quick list of most “hated” exercises were gathered. From there, the Q just worked in the number of the day “30” and the (birthday) “cake walk” was born.

    The cake walk goes like this. Start on the baseline of the basketball court, you will begin with 30 lunge pulses on the right side pausing on every fifth rep for a five count hold before continuing the reps. Continue until every rep is complete. Once finished, you crab walk to half court (you can thank Zoolander again for suggesting this one on GroupMe) to do 29 Sister Mary Catherines. Crab walk back to the baseline for 28 Carolina Dry Docks. Crab walk to half court for 27 Bulgarian split squats (right side). Crab walk one more time back to the baseline for 26 manmakers in cadence (a real crowd pleaser). After you finish that, this is where you can insert a ten count or two since there is no crab walk after the manmakers which means you will still be on the baseline of the basketball court.

    You repeat the sequence of descending reps of Lunge Pulses, Sister Mary Catherines, Carolina Dry Docks, Bulgarian Split Squats, and Manmakers starting now on 25. For every sequence of the 5 exercises, you switch which leg you would do for the lunges and Bulgarian split squats. So, in the second sequence you would do your left side. Continue this sequence until you do the last manmaker!

    Finishing this was quite a challenge and the lack of mumblechatter just further evidenced that fact. Although, legend has it that Barely Legal is still out there doing his speedy crab walks! The workout was done, and the time showed 7:29 AM when we finished the last manmaker. We were half a mile from the lakefront flag but the PAX was gracious with their sentimental Q on this day. We decided that despite the time, we would take a nice walk back most of the way to the flag.

    Once we arrived around the flag we were able to officially welcome our newest FNG Pro Bono! After that I was able to express my gratitude to a group of men who quite literally shaped the man I am today. A group who showed me that as we strengthened our bodies we were also strengthening our friendships, leadership capabilities, and character. I wouldn’t trade this group of men and the lessons I’ve learned for anything and am beyond honored to simply be a part of the group. And although I will never hear the required berating of “hate” after my name again, I will never stop feeling the care that I’ve felt from the first day when I showed up one Saturday morning back in February of 2017. A feeling of care that has continued to grow and which actually feels a lot like love.

    Until Next Time,
    Grundy (He Who Must Not be Named)

  • Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground

    So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.

    First: Special Shoutouts —

    Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX

    Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.

    Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!

    Now onto the beatdown:

    0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.

    0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.

    Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:

    The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird

    U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer

    Some Moby Song —Moby Dick

    Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander

    The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo

    To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.

    So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500

    Halfway home by coffeeteria!

    PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.

    PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s

    6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)

    …And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.

    Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.

    For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!

  • Main Event Was Not a Work Out

    Yes, you guessed it! The main event surrounded Jose’s pride and joy–his sweat jug! You remember… the one that some of his teacher friends reportedly spotted in the back seat of his car during a recent, quick trip for lunch. Mickey D’s, anyone? Just imagine the ‘splainin that must have taken place on that ride. Oh, to have been a fly on the windshield that day. To the amazement of the Northshore PAX, Jose 10k, in typical F3 fashion, rose to the, ahem, “challenge” and filled his sweat jug in a measley 16 DAYS! I’m sure in Zoo’s wildest dreams he did not figure he’d be getting doused on the Lakefront on September 12th. If I were a betting man, Halloween would be where I placed my moolah. And I’d imagine that’s what Zoo was counting on, too. But, not Jose. He “squeezed” in about 4 T-shirts a day! Let’s count em. 1) The beatdown in the gloom. 57 straight, but who’s counting? 2) ISI 3) mowing the lawn (everyday???) 4) moving Goose out of his house (lagniappe). 5) Who knows what else? It’s Jose. The man never stops!

    So there we were. Zoolander. Jose 10k. The entire F3 Northshore PAX. And the Smelly Bucket of Sweat with that BROWN STUFF at the bottom. Does anyone know what that stuff was? I was afraid to ask. Anyway, back to the moment. It was time for Jose to do the honors. And that he did, launching the Lowe’s bucket full of brown, rancid, baked / aged sweat at Zoolander, blasting him squarely in the chest. Zoo, then did the best thing he could to quickly cleanse the body, jumped in the Lake. But, hey, I give Zoolander credit; he took it like a man. The anticipation was palpable, Jose was giddy, and Zoo, a man of his word, was brave. And the PAX? We were nauseated, looking at the rife liquid in the bucket. The Hammer said he turned around so he didn’t barf. And poor Zoo, I don’t think he would have ever heard the end of it if he tried to get out of it. So T-Claps to him, for coming up with the challenge and taking it like and man, and to Jose, for filling the bucket so quickly, so we all could get a good laugh.

    Did I mention there were 2 beatdowns today?

    Well, there was, and the toughest one is part of a nationwide F3 challenge sponsored by F3 Greenwood, South Carolina. It’s called the Iron Pax Challenge, and it’s not for the faint of heart. After a brief warmup of Seal Jacks, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, and Imperial Walkers, Steve led the Iron Paxers to the west on the Lakefront for a grueling 43 minute circuit beatdown, where the PAX moves from one station to the next, carrying a cinder block coupon, doing exercises along the way try in AMRAP fashion.

    Of course, it should come as no surprise that the Iron PAXers acquitted themselves admirably with the following rep counts:

    TankedUp – 651

    The Hammer – 545

    Butt Splice – 528

    Zoolander – 490

    Jose 10k – 486

    Toto – 450

    T-Claps to all PAX willing to endure Iron PAX. It definitely is a DOWNPAINMENT!

    Meanwhile, YHC led the rest of the PAX Eastward for a series of Tabata sets. Clock set for 30 second sets, with 30 secs of rest between. Exercises were merkins, plank Jacks, jump squats, smurf jacks, flutter kicks, Apollo Ono’s, monkey humpers, and leg raises.

    Mosey to playground equipment at East end of Lakefront for 4 rounds of the following exercise:

    19 Merkins (commemoration of 19 yr anny of 9-11-01)

    Bear Crawl 20 yards

    Pop up and Run around perimeter of entire fence at east end of lakefront, back to starting line.

    Rinse and Repeat 4 times.

    Mosey back to Flag.

    Thanks for the entertainment today, Zoolander and Jose 10k! We enjoyed it!

    Prayers for our nation and for those families affected by the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks. May we always REMEMBER. STAY VIGILANT. STAY STRONG

    Thanks for following my lead today, guys.

    COT and thanks to Russo for praying us out!

  • QUAD-rophenia

    Blame Akbar.  This was his doing, really.  His “block party,” (henceforth known as ‘Akbar’s Abomination’) – which was preceded by Tank’s Murph – pretty much guaranteed that Saturday’s beatdown would focus on legs and core.  

    But first, the pre-thang : the usual 2 miles out and back with the usual suspects.  Now, YHC was definitely not looking at Bushwacker’s butt.  And neither was Tank.  But I mean, really, when the guy’s shorts are that tight and he’s running in front of you, it’s hard not to take note.  Looked like he had those things painted on.  Tank was comfortable enough in his masculinity to throw out a few catcalls.  Though, judging by Wacker’s mustache (which was recently tamed from a Guy Fawkes-type stache to a more respectable – and less anarchistic – Tom Selleck-type), it is possible that he is more in tune with the modern trends of the day and hey, what do I know, maybe the short shorts are making a comeback this year?

    Yes, this was created with MS Paint.

    Back at the flag, there was a surprisingly large group milling about.  Most noticeable were all the 2.0’s.  It was great to see the Baby Yoda, Pope, and Pixie Stick (along with Grover, who is now a fixture at most beatdowns) posting alongside their fathers.  Also of note, the (second) return of Backdraft, who’s already committed to leading in the near future.

    Warmorama: Good mornings, torso twists, IWs, toe touches, SSHs, merkins, shoulder taps, high knees, all at or around 15x IC.

    Somewhere around the SSH’s, Sparky shows up.  Turns out Bushwacker does not stand alone in his love of Magnum P.I.

    The Thang:

    Simple enough opening routine: Lt. Dan’s to the gazebo.  Which, okay, yes, is about 400 yards.  And felt longer.  But at least the guys had some time to catch up.  

    Next, Core COP: The Bruce Lee.  We’d do all six exercises, x20 IC, then take a 30 second break:

    • Hammers
    • Leg Raises
    • LBCs
    • Heel Touches
    • Crunchy Frogs
    • 100’s

    Rinse & Repeat. Initially we were going to do three rounds, but honestly, YHC can’t multitask – I can either call out cadence for 6 routines or I can suffer through them properly, but doing both proved too much for a third round.  So onward to the bridge!

    Partner up for a Dora:

    P1 runs up and over the bridge and back to swap with P2, who begins knocking out the cumulative reps of:

    • 100 Merkin Toe Touches
    • 200 Freak Nasties
    • 300 Squats

    Nearly out of time, YHC called it so we could make it back to the flag promptly.  Double lined Indian Run back to the flag, where we closed it out with a quick set of Jane Fonda’s.

    Countdown, namerama, and welcoming of FNG Pixie Stick!

    Grover closed us out in a prayer of thanks and everyone set out to coffeteria.  YHC feels blessed to have this group of men pushing me to be a better version of myself.  It felt good to be back out there with such a large group (25 men!), and to see the gift of F3 passed on to so many 2.0’s.  Thank you men for the opportunity to lead!  

  • 5 Years of F3?

    I should be in better shape by now. I haven’t been as intense as many of you, and I’ve definitely taken some chunks of time off, but I keep coming back. I come back because of you. Thanks for pushing me harder than I ever would have gone on my own.

    We did a workout that followed the evolution of what types of exercises were popular in each of the last five years (at least through the eyes of Maverick – maybe your experience was different).

    We kicked things off with a 2015 style warmup:

    Side straddle hops, imperial walkers, peter parkers, parker peters, and some arm circles.

    And then off to what I remember doing lots of in 2015: Animal Planet. Spider Crawl, Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Backwords Bear Crawl.

    Then in 2016 running workouts with stations became popular:

    To re-live that we had four stations around Noah’s Arc. 1st: 5 burpees, 2nd: 20 merkins, 3rd: 30 squats, 4th: 40 LBCs. oh – and from this point forward anytime we heard “Sudden Change” shouted we all had to stop where we were and do 5 burpees. This happened several times during the workout. A pax popularized this in 2016 but it hasn’t been much since.

    In 2017 I remember partner exercises being in vogue:

    So we did a partner carry, leg throws, swap, repeat. Then a wheelbarrow with our partner, leg throws, etc..

    In 2018, I moved to the Northshore and remember several rounds of Tabata. I might have brought a few of those. Quick modified Tabata with high knees, butt kicks, flutter kicks, and mountain climbers.

    In 2019 games became popular. These have been some of my favorite workouts. We brought back a game played on the southshore one crazy morning in 2016 which was ultimate frisbee but the catch was we could only move by bear crawl. Ugh. We used a football and only got to do a couple of drives because of time.

    That brings us to 2020. Who knows what new exercises we’ll be doing this year, but we’re off to a good start. We did partner merkins. Maybe its new, I don’t know. Saw it in a NYC subway station a few weeks ago. Strange. Face your partner – merkin together, come up and give your partner five with your left hand, repeat with right hand, we did this x20.

    And finally we brought back something I did on my VQ. I was scanning the F3 wesbite looking for something unique to bring and not disappoint. I found Roxanne which has been a staple ever since. It doesn’t disappoint – still feeling it.

    That’s it. Thanks for a good 5 years. Hopefully many more to come.

    Welcome Diplomat!

    We closed with these words which are possibly attributed to Mother Theresa:

      People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

          What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

         If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

      The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

    Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

       In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

  • The Road Ahead: A Pre-Hundo Adventure

    Was it as epic as expected?  You bet.  There were packs of wild dogs, gators lying in wait in the shallow ditches of Abita Springs, machete-wielding vagabonds hiding under the overpass, and, of course, 9 pairs of utterly destroyed feet.  

    As you might expect, this group of men started out strong.  After a quick COT where Tank prayed  us in with blessings and thoughts of safety, we set out.  At this point there was still a good deal of revelry happening on Girod Street, where Sips of the Season was winding down and more than a few men were teetering in and out of bars.  Caught one doing the sidewalk, using the hedges to try and keep upright.  Little did we know we’d have roughly the same gait by the end of the night.

    But we passed the revelry with a smile and a bounce in our step, ready to tackle the road ahead.  Gideon – the Navy Seal of Netflix and Pizza – got the party started with a killer mix, and we were off.   Running now at a brisk pace, more than a few of us looked around and wondered, “Wait, didn’t we say we were walking this thing?” 

    Getting to the Abita Trailhead (approx 9.5 miles in) was relatively quick.  Took a short break (with open facilities near midnight, no less), and forged ahead.  Now here’s where things started getting dicey.  Jose and Moby had decided early on that they’d keep at a brisk walking pace, and so the rest of the overzealous gang started seeing a bit of separation from them.  A few of us would run back and check in but eventually they seemed to be going pretty steady, and so everyone just kept moving.  Shortly after hitting the Abita trailhead, the trace goes pretty dark, a little less residential, and a lot more wooded.  Being the merry band of travelers that we were, we happened to rouse a few wild dogs in the woods.  Tank was in the lead when the barking began, and when it was clear they were following us, he quickly circled back to the group ready for war.  The dogs stayed with us for a block or so, obscured by the woods, with Tank flashing his lights in and catching the glint of at least 5 pairs of eyes.  As you can imagine, Tank was fired up.  He flipped his headlamp into strobe mode (hoping to give our canine friends a seizure, or at the very least some confusion), Speedy pulled out a small knife, and there was a good half hour discussion on the weapons that would need to be crafted for the return trip through that section (Spears, bats with barbed wire, you get the idea).  The dogs probably sensed all the testosterone and fell back as we forged ahead.   (Either that or they were simply residential dogs behind a wire fence that couldn’t we couldn’t see, but hey, not a theory YHC was ready to verify!)

    Soon thereafter we reached The Gipper and collectively felt pretty darn good about ourselves.  Roughly halfway and everyone was still feeling fresh.   Moby had been picked up by Vickie in Abita Springs and it was time to check in with Jose, who had now been traveling solo for a few miles.  Tank was quite worried about the pack of wild dogs, and sent Jose an urgent text message warning him of the dangers ahead. Unfortunately, some other “Richard” in Tank’s address book would be receiving that midnight message about the wild dogs of Abita, os Tank was not wearing his reading glasses at the time. For some reason, YHC imagines that other Richard will not be that surprised.

    Hammer kept it old school and broke out the Big League Chew, and after another short break, the men turned back to head for Mandeville.  Covington turned out to be just as active as Girod street had been hours ago – and, with all the drunken revelry surrounding us, more than a few men were reminded of the time we bear crawled down Bourbon Street for the Grow Ruck. 

    Apparently Jose had turned on the heat after passing Abita as we caught him just a few yards shy of the infamous Butter Krisp and, for a brief moment, the group was in tact.  At some point YHC got a little too close to a gator, who’s loud dash into the ditch sent me nearly knocking over Wacker. (A scene reminiscent of that Captain Sparkles surprise attack at the Scramble.).  

    Tank, Jose, and YHC eventually slowed down while the rest of the gang moved onward at a steady clip.

    Jose was undaunted by all Frank’s talk of rabid dogs, and in fact, he started heckling them as we got close.  Tank tried to quiet him and Jose said hey, if a dog attacked him, he’d sue the hell out of the owners.  Tank explained that it was a poor area and he probably wouldn’t get much.  Jose said, “That’s fine, I’ll liquidate their assets.”

    Tank’s reply?

    “I’ll liquidate those dogs’ nuts if I have to.”  Cue the grunting and strobing headlamps.

    Meanwhile, Speedy hit a physical and mental wall at Koop Drive and wasn’t sure he’d be able to continue.  The men stopped to support him, but not for long, as Speedy drew down deep, found some reserves, and pushed ahead.  

    Tank, Jose and I made it through Abita without incident, and, after telling the legend of the machete man who lives under the overpass, we started approaching Koop Dr.  Once there, Jose told Tank and I to turn it on, that he’d be fine the rest of the way.  

    Took a bit to catch up with the rest of the men, who had adopted a new strategy in our absence – run a song / walk a song.   This was a total crapshoot with Gideon’s mix, knowing that there’d an 8-minute Rebirth song hitting at some point.  But it was a great distraction and we quickly found our way to Grandmother’s tunnel for a photo op, before hitting the Mandeville trailhead.

    Another break, Butt Splice bandaged a badly blistered foot, and onward we went.

    It all got a bit blurry at this point, but here are a few things I remember: Tank and Bush passing me at the lakefront for their final mile, doing it at an under 8 minute pace;  the heroic image of Speedy, who thought he was done 10 miles back, running to Survivor with fists in the air to the finish line;  Splice, feet wounded but patiently awaiting the sunrise that would bring his hour-long Q.

    The entire group finally laid out on the lakefront lawn, just in time for Garfield to show up, stretching for the a Saturday morning pre-thang.  To no one’s surprise, Tank ran the pre-thang like he hadn’t just run/walked 33 miles.  And then, Splice Q’d the hourlong beatdown like the beast that he is, and unabashedly included many, many box jumps.

    33 miles. 1/3 of our final goal, and it was hard. Really hard. The road ahead to the hundo is dark, and yet because of you guys, YHC is undaunted. This night made us stronger, more prepared, and more knowledgeable. Most of all, it made us realize the incredible fortitude of the men around us. Success or failure, Hundo, here we come.