F3 New Orleans

Tag: Captain D’s

  • The Yote Bowl – from Goose

    The ‘Yote Bowl
    By Coyote
                      The morning presented itself to YHC as crisp and chilly. The crazy winds that had been batting at us all week had taken a break for the weekend: a perfect day for a little F3 flag-football. Pope and YHC set up a field about fifty yards long with five-yard end zones and a first down line halfway through the field.
                      The Pax showed up quickly, and YHC was not surprised that there were so many 2.0’s, including YHC. Yankee Joe and Brass Monkey showed up a little late, but nobody noticed. YHC and the Pax skimmed over warmups and moseyed over to the Field by Bayou Road, the place where the field was. The teams were assembled, Team 1 consisting of Goose, White Meat, Brass Monkey, Lil Cuz, Bam-Bam, Jackknife, and Pikachu. Team 2 had Man-Eater, Yankee Joe, Cap’n D, Pope, Darrel Strawberry, Duke, and YHC. YHC announced that there would be a football trivia question every touchdown, and every five minutes on the minute, the Pax would have to do five burpees. Team 2 started with the ball, moved down the field, and ended the drive with a disappointing punt. Team 1 got the ball, and after a few plays, were four yards from the first down line on fourth down. They went for it and a pass from Lil Cuz to Brass monkey was batted down. Team 2 got the ball, and finished the drive with a touchdown to Man Eater on a flea-flicker play.  The trivia awaited, and “Who has the record for most rushing yards in a season?” tested the knowledge of the Pax.  Cap’n D answered with Eric Dickerson: the correct answer. The score was Team 2:7, Team 1:0. Team 1 got the ball, and wasted no time telling us that they were not brushoffs and moved down the field fast. On first and goal, Lil Cuz threw a pass meant for either Goose or Brass Monkey. Either way, they both jumped up, focused on the ball, ready to snag it out of the air…and slammed into each other. Quote Goose, “When I saw that ball in the air, I felt like I was 12 again.” They redeemed themselves and scored on a pass to Brass Monkey. Cap’n D answered the next question, and we played on. 7-7. Next, Man Eater threw a bomb meant for Yankee, but it was intercepted by Cuz. Team 1 Scored on another pass to Goose. 14-7. The next drive was interesting, and YHC’s team stuck to short passes and handoffs, more than half of them going to Pope, and Cap’n D caught a touchdown pass, and answered the question correctly. Game tied 14-14. Team 2 drove down the field, and this drive put the 2.0’s on the map. Bam-Bam caught the first pass of the drive and ran six yards, then he caught another pass for more yards. Then Brass Monkey smashed through Team 2’s entire defense and got a first down. Then Jackknife caught a pass and ran through a wide-open hole to the three-yard line. Then Bam-Bam caught a touchdown pass and Team 1 took the lead 21-14. Again, Cap’n D blew the trivia out of the water. On the first play of the next drive Man Eater threw a bomb pass to Cap’n D, who dove and caught it with his fingertips. But the next play, Man Eater threw a pass meant for Yankee Joe, But Lil Cuz jumped in front and snagged his second interception of the game. Goose took over as Quarterback for Team 1, and they went for it on fourth down, and White Meat dropped a pass. Cap’n D took over as Team 2’s Quarterback, and Yankee Joe caught a pass in the End Zone. 21-21. This time, Yankee Joe answered the question right. Team 1 still had Goose for a Quarterback, and when they got to the five-yard line, Cap’n D rushed Goose, and Goose ran into the End Zone. 28-21. Yankee Joe tramped the trivia, and Team 2 got the ball again. Cap’n D stayed as Team 2’s QB for the rest of the game, and his plays worked every time. After an amazing throw and catch from Cap’n D to Pope, we were at the seven-yard line. A pass to YHC was complete and YHC ran into the end zone and tied the game once again, and Yankee rocked the trivia, answering the question immediately after YHC asked it. 28-28. Team 1 threw three passes that were all batted down, and they punted. Cap’n D threw a huge pass to the other side of the field to Yankee Joe, and Yankee caught it and bowled over the line to give Team 2 the lead 35-28 with two minutes left to play. Team 1 dashed down the field and scored on a pass to Goose. The score was tied again. The trivia was crushed by Joe. 35-35. With 14 seconds left to play, Team 2 lined up fast and an incomplete was thrown. For the last play of the game, Cap’n D threw a Hail Mary to Pope, and Pope caught it and turned around to go for the game-winning touchdown…but then stepped out of bounds. The game ended with a score of 35-35, a tie. The Circle of trust was done, and the ‘Yote Bowl ended. Thank you guys for your prayers, and for a great football game…and beware of ‘Yote Bowl part two: overtime.

  • The Big Picture Hurts Sometimes   (by Pope) – from Goose

    PAX: Pope, Goose, Bambam, Duke, Maneater, Jackknife, Captain D, Darrell Strawberry, Honey Suckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe
                     
                      The morning began with YHC coming downstairs to the scene of the average 10 minutes before our family’s departure for something like a doctor’s appointment or church or the like, but at 5:50 am. Reasons for our showing up at 6:27 included our inability to find a suitable cold-weather hat for Duke and an ill-timed wakeup of mini-2.0 (and YHC’s inability to find his object of pacification). Eventually we managed to get moving; we arrived and parked by the field by Bayou Road. We greeted the early PAX by 6:30 and had the usual warmup (SSH, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, windmills, WMH, arm circles, cherry pickers, self-love) then moseyed.
                      YHC jumped ahead of the PAX, grabbed five cones, and set them up in the field in pentagonal fashion, each about 10 yards apart, with a small piece of Paw Patrol diaper box with much less friendly sharpie handwriting on the blank sides. The rest of the PAX grabbed coupons out of Goose’s truck and fell in inside the pentagon. YHC proceeded to explain the circuit, with exercises corresponding to each stage of man’s journey from his origins to his return to God.
                      The routine (largely inspired by Coyote’s everything-I-hate formula) was as follows:
     
    ·      Station 1(the Trinity; the Source of all things)
                      7  8-ct blockee builders, shoulder-carry coupon to next station
    ·      Station 2 (Creation; man created in God’s image)
                     7  man-makers, rifle-carry to next station
    ·      Station 3 (The Fall; man is thrust from grace)
                      15 thrusters, murder bunny to next station
    ·      Station 4 (Redemption; Jesus’ death and resurrection)
                      15 WW3 situps (modified from 20 after one visit), coupon lunge to            next station
    ·      Station 5 (Glorification; man’s return to God)
                                        20 star jumps, block-n-bear back to station 1
     
                      The backdrop soundtrack playing during the repetition of the above routine had been laced with a few songs (covers by the Snake Charmer, distinguishable by the bagpipes at the beginning of each of the songs) that acted as circuit-breakers; upon hearing these the PAX stopped wherever they were and ran a lap around the entire field. Station 3 had a catch to it, namely that if a PAX was there doing thrusters when a circuit-breaker sounded, he would have 30, not 15, thrusters now to complete. As a result, thrusters didn’t seem to be as much of a struggle for the PAX today as they usually are.
                      All the PAX started at station 1 and went at their own pace. Naturally, Goose and Honey Suckle led the way; YHC was drained of q-drenaline, and found what motivation there was to be found in trying not to get lapped by Goose. Additionally, YHC had a realistic experience of the faith journey, frequently hounded by the mental hostility of the adversary (portrayed this morning by Jackknife, who hounded YHC like a dirty little demon in oversized gloves).
                      The PAX recovered at 7:29 and returned the coupons.
                      COT and Maneater prayed us out.
                      Happy 11th birthday to Darrel Strawberry! Congrats on entry to the 11-year-old 2.0 gang of rascals.
                      Real shoutout to the PAX who showed up this morning, as chatter continued for the entire beatdown. Wishes of abundant graces for us all this Advent.
                                                                                                                                                                      SYITG, Pope

  • The Big Picture Hurts Sometimes   (by Pope) – from Goose

    PAX: Pope, Goose, Bambam, Duke, Maneater, Jackknife, Captain D, Darrell Strawberry, Honey Suckle, Popeye, Yankee Joe
                     
                      The morning began with YHC coming downstairs to the scene of the average 10 minutes before our family’s departure for something like a doctor’s appointment or church or the like, but at 5:50 am. Reasons for our showing up at 6:27 included our inability to find a suitable cold-weather hat for Duke and an ill-timed wakeup of mini-2.0 (and YHC’s inability to find his object of pacification). Eventually we managed to get moving; we arrived and parked by the field by Bayou Road. We greeted the early PAX by 6:30 and had the usual warmup (SSH, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, windmills, WMH, arm circles, cherry pickers, self-love) then moseyed.
                      YHC jumped ahead of the PAX, grabbed five cones, and set them up in the field in pentagonal fashion, each about 10 yards apart, with a small piece of Paw Patrol diaper box with much less friendly sharpie handwriting on the blank sides. The rest of the PAX grabbed coupons out of Goose’s truck and fell in inside the pentagon. YHC proceeded to explain the circuit, with exercises corresponding to each stage of man’s journey from his origins to his return to God.
                      The routine (largely inspired by Coyote’s everything-I-hate formula) was as follows:
     
    ·      Station 1(the Trinity; the Source of all things)
                      7  8-ct blockee builders, shoulder-carry coupon to next station
    ·      Station 2 (Creation; man created in God’s image)
                     7  man-makers, rifle-carry to next station
    ·      Station 3 (The Fall; man is thrust from grace)
                      15 thrusters, murder bunny to next station
    ·      Station 4 (Redemption; Jesus’ death and resurrection)
                      15 WW3 situps (modified from 20 after one visit), coupon lunge to            next station
    ·      Station 5 (Glorification; man’s return to God)
                                        20 star jumps, block-n-bear back to station 1
     
                      The backdrop soundtrack playing during the repetition of the above routine had been laced with a few songs (covers by the Snake Charmer, distinguishable by the bagpipes at the beginning of each of the songs) that acted as circuit-breakers; upon hearing these the PAX stopped wherever they were and ran a lap around the entire field. Station 3 had a catch to it, namely that if a PAX was there doing thrusters when a circuit-breaker sounded, he would have 30, not 15, thrusters now to complete. As a result, thrusters didn’t seem to be as much of a struggle for the PAX today as they usually are.
                      All the PAX started at station 1 and went at their own pace. Naturally, Goose and Honey Suckle led the way; YHC was drained of q-drenaline, and found what motivation there was to be found in trying not to get lapped by Goose. Additionally, YHC had a realistic experience of the faith journey, frequently hounded by the mental hostility of the adversary (portrayed this morning by Jackknife, who hounded YHC like a dirty little demon in oversized gloves).
                      The PAX recovered at 7:29 and returned the coupons.
                      COT and Maneater prayed us out.
                      Happy 11th birthday to Darrel Strawberry! Congrats on entry to the 11-year-old 2.0 gang of rascals.
                      Real shoutout to the PAX who showed up this morning, as chatter continued for the entire beatdown. Wishes of abundant graces for us all this Advent.
                                                                                                                                                                      SYITG, Pope

  • Mark it, Dude. – from Honeysuckle

    Seven HIMs who were wise and would never compromise arrived to the Peltch for what was clearly going to involve the track. The only real concern for Daryl Strawberry’s or Popeye’s shoes were the warmarama and COT, so everyone carefully chose a spot and we began.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Lafayette Nightclubs, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love, maybe some other things

    Thang 1:

    Mosey to the track. Since the front gate was open, we entered that way and felt like we weren’t sneaking in. As the speaker wasn’t working for YHC this morning, the PAX did not have the pleasure of hearing the Greta Van Fleet (schism-worthy) playlist that was to be the background motivational music. So the first thang was done in silence, other than the heavy breathing.

    Starting at the goal line, bear crawl to the 5 yd line, run back. Do the same thing for the 10 yd line through 50 yd line. At the 5, 10, 15, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of tempo squats. At the 10, 20, 30, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of merkins. This was done to the 50 yard line. This was a challenging task and YHC thought a few times about being merciful, but ultimately no modifications were made and the PAX completed this eventually.

    Thang 2:

    Now on to something a little more fun. The overall idea for the next two thangs were to make the PAX run, but have tasks to complete to take their minds off it. Everyone received a slip of paper with five colored circles. Each PAX’s circles were in different order. Around the track were seven orange cones, five of which were covering markers. PAX had to run around the track, and checking cones to find the markers. Their circles had to be colored in the order that they appeared on the paper. If the marker was the correct color, PAX would fill in the circle. If the marker was not the correct color (or there was no marker), PAX had to do 5 burpees. Also, after you flip a cone, you had to reverse direction.

    As difficult as these instructions were to understand, they were also difficult to carry out. The 5 burpees seemed cruel so YHC did change this to 1 burpee. Eventually, Coyote and Daryl Strawberry finished, and YHC ended the game right before Goose and Pope finished. Depending on how good or bad you were at this game, you ran quite a bit.

    Thang 3:

    Since the markers were already distributed around the track, the PAX paired up and each went to a different location on the track. At the start time, the pairs would play Paper/Scissors/Rock. The loser had to do Big Boy Situps in place. The winner would use a marker to make a mark on their paper (like a passport stamp) and run to the next location. The person doing BBS would keep going until someone showed up to play them. If the BBS person completed 30 before someone showed up to play them, they could get their mark and leave. YHC does not remember the result, but it was quite a while before YHC was able to leave the initial station. That’s a lot of situps.

    Thang 4:

    Quick try again for some Greta Van Fleet (Black Smoke Rising), now using a different speaker, so we circled up and did SSH during the song and mountain climbers during the refrain. But YHC had trouble identifying the refrain. Then mosey back to the flags for COT.

    Announcements, prayer intentions, Goose prayed us out. No clothing to exchange today.

    Thanks everyone for showing up and grinding through today! It continues to be a blessing to be a part of this group!

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine: What’s the deal with that Olympics opening ceremony? Can we just watch sports?

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Bone Apple Teeth – from Paradox

    A few years ago during YHCs RCIA journey I had a great sit down with a priest to answer a few questions about the sacrament of confession. Ya see YHC had only seen the movie versions of confession and basically all I knew was I had to get in a boo box somewhere and that usually the priest was a double CIA agent covertly seeing if I was tied up in a small town murder plot. Well, after a thorough explanation of what real confession was and was not , (mortal vs venial sins etc) I was left with only one question: What if you have done or said something really really exceedingly stupid but no-one knows about it? Not necessarily a sin but something that may have altered the entire fabric of your vocabulary and, if left untold, would eat away at you and those around you for decades. The priest after assuring me being stupid was not a sin smiled and said “that’s easy, you just tell the really bad ones to a trusted friend, have a laugh, and move on”

    Well , Here we are my friends.

    Welcome to the Boo Box

    Duke!! Get your Ruck !!
    Roll the bean footage and let’s get this nipped in the butt.

    5 Road warriors strong at the colosseum. We took a steady ruck from Nichols across the bridge of Terapeltchia into Peltch Major until making our destination of the EDW track.

    Here YHC revealed he would be confessing to four obscenely incorrect uses of common phrases used at different eras in my life .

    We would commemorate each with an exercise , Indian ruck a track lap , rinse and repeat.

    1.) “Let’s Get down to Brass TAX”

    Most of these had similar origin stories. YHC, in his Homerian learning center, heard the phrase from grown ups, assumed it meant something else, justified it with my own experiences and went about my merry childhood. For example, when adults got serious, usually with a business deal or related finances, they were ready to go beyond your regular gen pop taxes and do Brass taxes . You know, you go into your CPAs office and tell them straight up that you have a job and kids and it’s time to do brass taxes and that was that. I considered that if I studied hard enough maybe one day I would even see my brass taxes at work.

    Later, after all that studying I stood in an OR as a 25 year old med student. Across from me a senior surgeon told a story of an emergent trauma surgery during a mission trip in Guatemala. They needed to stop internal bleeding with limited supplies and he had a surg tech find a brass tack from a tool box, sterilize it, and pinned a section of colon until the correct tool could be utilized. (No big deal)
    He was impressed at how attentive I was to his story but had no clue I was really just stunned that brass tacks existed and how the loss of my brass tax goal had just been demolished.

    Brass Tax Ruck Bobby Hurleys
    We did 25 of them .

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    2. ) State of The ARK

    This one started a little younger. Someone on TV describing a yacht that had State of the Art technology. YHC , fresh from Bible school thought it was great that Noah and his biblical story of trust were recognized in modern times. I then assumed that anything with new cutting edge tech must therefore be State of the Ark. Luckily, well before serious college interviews, (I def had a drivers license though) while serving as a VBS counselor I instructed several children in a PE game called State of the Ark. While we were laughing at watching the kids do a relay race picking up stuffed animals I couldn’t help but notice how funny the other adults thought “state of the Ark” was. I laughed with them but swiftly found a Britannica at home to learn the Truth. Still to this day when I see a really big fancy boat , I whisper to myself “State of the Ark”…

    We did 25 State of the Ark Monkey Swings (Kettlebell swings with ruck)

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    3.) STATUE of Limitations

    This may have been the most painful. If you have an older brother in your life you know they smell your ignorance like a shark smells blood . When mine had returned home from a semester at college I informed him that I was using his clothes and room at my own behest and then doubled down to tell him the Statue of Limitations on those items was up. I was then led through my first (certainly not my last) public reformation as he informed our well educated parents they had failed in my raising. He later became a lawyer while YHC continues a worldwide search for that ancient Statue Of Limits.

    We did 100 squats as our “Limitations “
    P1 hold AL Gore Statues
    P2 10 squats then swap

    We all silently considered what our own statute of limitations would look like.

    Ok Deep breath, here we go …

    4.) The Grand Daddy of them all

    YHC could take the common out here and say that I confused this phrase with For All Intensive Purposes, incorrect of course, but more commonly so. But this is about healing so we need to get to the roots. YHC first heard this phrase referring to a Christian missionary from my childhood church who we were raising money for in the community. Someone, remarking at how many roles this certain individual played in a small village, said that “for all intents and purposes “ he was the mayor of the village. YHC put together the pieces and assumed that he was the mayor for all those in TENTs and their purposes. I’d also like to take the out and say that this was corrected in days or weeks but it was YEARs of thoughts and prayers about those dwelling in Tents before YHC was again publicly reformed.

    We did 25 ruck thrusters with Intent and Purpose at the Thunder dome.

    Ruck Back to Base as Valve considered how to contact the LA medical board for a hard discussion and Honeysuckle had more pressing concerns that I could be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. We discovered Maneater is a bit of a scholar on this topic while Captain Ds silently began a search for better workout buddies.

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Honorable Mentions and Anonymous Submissions

    -20,000 leagues under the sea
    -Jose Can You See?
    -Chester Drawers
    -Bobbed Wire
    -Irregardless
    -Could Care Less
    -Cream of the Crap

    Men , thank you for listening. You had an opportunity to ostrich size me but took the height road. Whether you found this up hauling or mind bottling I can’t be sure but I am grapeful. Maybe some of you found it four meal your, but I urge you to put it in your review mirror and don’t look back. I hope this led to your own piece of mind.

    I pray that you will fill your day with the most intensive purposes that are full of intent and purpose and directed toward those that may be living in Tents on purpose.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Keep Thibodaux Weird – from Paradox

    YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…

    But not today my brothers.

    Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!

    But how?

    How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?

    YHC saw only one way out.

    A single artist.

    His work spanning 4 decades.

    No genre left standing in his wake.

    Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.

    Today..we would get WEIRD.

    Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!

    9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.

    THE CONCERT THANG

    Simple and direct today.
    We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.

    Correct 10 curls

    Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.

    # 1 White and Nerdy
    Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song

    What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
    In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)

    10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.

    #2 The Saga Begins
    Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
    Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers

    Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
    Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
    Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)

    # 3 Eat It
    Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s

    Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
    Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.

    # 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
    Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
    Thrusters on Paradise

    The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
    Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
    The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
    Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.

    #5 FAT
    Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
    This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
    **As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

    We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.

    Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.

    Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas

    POSTingSCRIPTs

    You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?

    Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…

    To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:

    I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.

    I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.

    Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al

    See you in the Grunge

    Dox

  • Shake it Up a Bit – from Goose

    After four or five Saturdays in a row including a game of some sort, YHC thought it prudent to shake things up a bit and bring back the 60 minutes of pain. Kinda like a weekday, but longer, and at a location with tons of options.

    After YHC drug Yankee Jeaux along for a warmup lap, a warmup of the usuals commenced with 10 fantastic PAX. Once completed, we grabbed gear, and YHC started to lead a mosey toward the track, which brought about much angst amongst the natives, especially those who feared the inevitable after having been absent for a couple of months. YJ reminded YHC that this was the two-year anniversary of his initial return after hiatus, which happened to be YHC’s 40th birthday beatdown, and where YJ happened to puke multiple times. The similarities to today were already astounding–and the stage was set for some potential pukage.

    We moseyed on the track up even with the 50 yard line where YHC explained that we’d be getting back to the ground after enjoying multiple weeks of games (which YHC has loved, btw). It’s been great, but the grinding season was upon us. The first grind would be a Dora, but with three men and four exercises. The PAX broke into 3-man teams, and each team set a man on each side of the track (at the 50, halfway point on the straight 100). On one side, the exercises were 200 merkins followed by 200 Morroccan Night Clubs, and on the other, they were 200 lunges (1:1) followed by 200 heels to heaven. The third man would run from one teammate to the other and take up the rep count, like an ordinary Dora, while his guy ran the next half loop to take over from guy 1. This ended up going as YHC expected–the half lap wasn’t so bad, but merkins while waiting for your teammates to get all the way back around to you was reminiscent of a few May beatdowns. Popeye and Valve throupled/quadroupled with the two 2.0’s, Darryl Strawberry and Jacknife, who moved as one. Sort of. While Honeysuckle, Popeye, and Valve seemed to have no trouble with this one, YHC felt sorry for those for whom running is a life-sucker, but these guys also happen to be the ones with the biggest hearts, and they were clearly pushing hard so as not to leave their teammates suffering longer than necessary.

    The second grind was like the first, except we moved over to the bleachers, and instead of one man running a half lap, he would run up or down the bleachers, and the exercises were done at the top and bottom. At the bottom, 200 dips and 200 LBC’s. At the top, 200 step-ups (1:1) and 200 air presses (overhead). The step-ups were the crux for this one, but the men powered them out in enough time for an Indian Run of epic/stupid proportions.

    The 10 were split into two teams of 5 and each was positioned at opposing ends of the track (50 yard line). The man in the back of each line had to run to the front of the other team’s line, where he would choose a type of transportation for that team while he was head of the line. This was done to provide some variation, but also to give the other line’s guy an actual chance of catching up. This went fairly well, and only a few times did multiple new leaders arrive at about the same time. YHC did observe a few interesting choices for transportation. One looked like a walk, but with knees ever-so-slightly elevated. Not sure what this one was called: Tiptoe-down-the-hallway-at-night walk? Dodging-dog-bombs-in-the-backyard walk? High Grass?

    The mosey back to the flag was understandably slow after this last routine, but we still had some time for a few rounds of Mary. YHC thought it would be fun to introduce some of the newer guys to the more creatively named core exercises, like Afflecks (formerly A-Rods: a combination of J-Los and Pickle Pounders) and Nolan Ryans.

    The Animal shirt was given clean for the first time because Pope received it but couldn’t be present to present it. It went to Captain D’s for his effort despite it not being a game day (the large majority of his posts have ended up being games).
    COT and prayers for the women on the ACTS retreat and a few families dealing with tragedy. Maneater graciously prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose