YHC pre-blasted a call for HC the night before as the plan was developing to gauge headcount and in true F3NOLA fashion there’s was minimal response so it was pleasantly surprising to see the mid-field circle grow to 10 pax as the warmorama began with our much beloved theme song (I know Frac secretly has it on “repeat” as he drives to work his 2, soon to be 3 days a week–COMPLIANCE!).
Abe SLOWgodas, SSH, seal/OH claps, tie fighters, self love, mosey to playground to complete warm ups with Morning Calls. Mosey to the rock pile advising pax to select a medium rock they could do lots of reps with, where YHC laid out IN CLEAR DETAIL, that we would do 9 (on 4/19, where’s Rudy when I need him!?) consecutive exercises of 25 reps each OYO and as you finished either plank or SSH on the six.
OH press
Squats
Big boys
Curls
Lunges
American Hammers
Tricep press
Calf raises
Manmakers
The mumblechatter was considerable and distracted the pax from executing properly because after going through the entire list of 9 YHC reiterated the first three as we began to kick us off and announced I’d call them out as we progressed. Some nameless pax (KB/Mr R) were planking after the first 75 reps which created confusion for other pax and elevated the mumblechatter—must get back on the rails. We continued through the next six exercises without much incident and considerably less mumblechatter, especially as the final task of 25 man-makers loomed large (grunts replaced words—success). Round two each pax was issued one of the same nine exercises and led the circle of pax in cadence then the next pax so all 9 are done without stopping: 1 rep each, which Bogey took issue with as not being worth it and also complained about the getting down/up which (was BY DESIGN); along the way we learned Mr. Rogers was never given the you tube link for counting cadence. Subsequent rounds were 2 then 5 then 10 reps per exercise before the next pax led in cadence with slight pauses between rounds to catch our breath.
Next was 5 minute EMOM of what else—10 burpees! This is when Bogey decided to use the burpee rule thinking he was gaming the system yet he simply added more burpees to the count. We finished with protractors.
Tag: FracSac
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9: For/19 – from Bolt
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What’s That Smell? – from Space Cowboy
Although I arrived 15 min early at The Goldmine on this warm humid morning, I was greeted by @Charmin who was evidently eager to start the beatdown. We were soon joined by @Frac Sac and @Bolt. Promptly at 5:30, I gave the disclaimer and we moseyed to the pad for warmups.
Slow Squats x 10
SSH x 20
Slow Abe Vigodas x 10
Imperial Walkers x 10
Seal Claps x 15
Forward Arm Circles x 10
Backwards Arm Circles x 10As we wrapped up our warmups, @Boo Boo conveniently came running out of the woods (we were afraid to ask what he was doing) to form our group of 5 and we continued to mosey to the JPAX. We retrieved our coupons (cinder blocks) from under the stairs and proceeded to the front area of the JPAX.
All exercises with Coupon
Curls x 25
Overhead Press x 25
Rows x 25
Flutter Kicks 2-1 x 25
Squats x 25
Back Lunges 1-1 x 25
Mountain Climbers x 25
Wife Pleasers x 25We put the coupons aside and proceeded to the starting point on the path that circles the JPAX.
1 Burpee at every light pole (about 25 total) with a mix of run, lunges, back pedal, and karaoke between each pole.
As we entered the path at the rear of the JPAX, @Charmin yelled, “what’s that smell?”, as we were simultaneously hit by a strong wave of fragrance during mid-burpee. Without missing a beat, @Frac Sac, our Kennarie Ridge horticulturist expert, identified it as Jasmine. Jasmine’s effect on us was immediate as I noticed @Frac Sac and @Bolt “bolting” to the front of the group, @Boo Boo doing 2 burpees instead of 1, and @Charmin performing the cleanest form burpees ever seen aka the Baryshnikov of Burpees. As we concluded the round, we headed back to the coupons.
All Exercises with Coupons
Curls x 25
Overhead Press x 25
Block Merkins x 25
BBSU x 25
Flutter Kicks 2-1 x 25
Dips x 25Maybe Jasmine’s effect was greater than expected since the PAX asked for another round of “1 Burpee per light pole” on the JPAX path. I obliged and we did another round with Jasmine to the PAX’s satisfaction and ended the round with Burpee speedbumps which includes 10 light poles in immediate succession.
With time expiring, we headed to the flag to conclude with our COT.
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Where is the Q??? – from Triple Shift
After a festive afternoon at the 6th annual Leg Quarter Cookoff the day before, YHC was overly stuffed with scrumptious chicken leg quarters (I think I ate four or five), High Noon refreshments and dessert egg rolls. Needless to say, I was feeling quite heavy this morning and had to get to the Renaissance workout to burn off some excess calories. I arrived at 6:25 am and saw Fracsac already stretching and was wondering who would be there given the 20 + F3 Pax members and their families enjoying great fellowship and food on Ridgewood Drive. Would the Q be there???
After getting out of the bus, Heisenberg and Judge Wapner pull up and it’s 6:30 am. Where’s the Q? After some discussion, Heisenberg nominates me and I try to get Wapner to take it but given his seniority, he quickly pulls the UNO reverse card and said that I’ll be fine. Ok….yes sir…. I’m the Q.
With nothing prepared, I pull the classic slow mosey to figure things out. No warmup, just head to the foundry and I’ll figure it out. As we leave NOMA, we hear the pitter patter of flip flops….Catfish come sprinting by. When we arrive at the foundry, I embark on an explanation of doing things slowly and am subsequently jeered that we’re going to run out of time doing the warmups.
Warmarama
15 low slow squats, 10 low slow merkins, 20 arm circles (forwards and backwards), 10 lunge around the world, 10 slow peter parkers, 10 slow imperial walkers, 10 slow parker peters, 20 burpees in a slow 6 count cadence.The Thang
Mini Murph – 5 pullups/body rows, 10 merkins (soon to be hand release merkins on round 4 and 5), and 15 air squats x 5 rounds. After each round, run from the foundry to the track then back. #Crowd Pleaser
Head to the back of NOMA for 3 rounds of Sunday Mornings and back to the virtual flag.COT – Countoff, Namerama, and prayers for my friend Adam Sanborn (35 years old) who has terminal cancer at 35, Woz’s (Jesse Varnado) who’s father just passed away on Thursday, Torque’s (Nic Francis) mom who unexpectedly passed away 6+ weeks ago, and Babyface’s (David Hassenboehler) father-in-law passed away on Wednesday. Keep these pax members in your prayers and that God would grant them supernatural peace as they lead their families during this season of loss and grief. May we truly understand that our days are numbered and to live lives of impact and service to everyone we encounter.
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Eclipse Glasses are Not Required! – from Space Cowboy
It’s been 45 years since the last total solar eclipse crossed the United States and it will be another 20 years before it happens again. To mark the significance of this day, 9 brave PAX journeyed to Kennarie Ridge to sacrifice their blood sweat and tears on the grounds of the JPAX. After giving the disclaimer on-time, we headed to the launch pad for warm-ups:
Warm-Up – IC
Samson Stretch (each leg) – 10 second hold
Slows Squats x 10
Slow Abe Vigoda x 10
Forward Arm Circles x15
Backwards Arm Circles x15
Seal Claps x15
SSH x20
Imperial Walkers x10
Hillbillies x10Maybe it was the cool 68 degree weather or the excitement for the pending eclipse later in the day but there was a notable amount of chatter among the PAX during warm-ups as compared to a typical Monday morning. But, then, we moseyed to the JPAX. The chatter would soon be replaced by an eerie silence, an occasional complaint, and/or a few vocal and physical signs of pain and agony as they endured the “eclipse” beatdown.
Thang 1 – “Eclipse” Beatdown with a buildup from partial to full exercises – OYO
Starting at the JPAX flags
Run to the JPAX “ramp of pain”
Bear crawl up ramp
Lunges down the ramp
Run back to JPAX flags
Burpees x10
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Box Jumps x30
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Box Jumps x30
SSH x40Thang 2 – Post Eclipse “Recovery” – OYO
11s – Burpees/Merkins with a run around the narrow JPAX circular path each roundHeaded back to flag for COT with special intentions for Frac Sac and Boo Boo as well as safe travels for everyone participating in the eclipse events later in the day.
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Impromptu Q – from Kenna Brah
Me and a lone down ranger met in the gloom, when out of the shadows appeared a few good men. Scantron departed on the 5:32 to KNOT-town, wheile the rest mosey’d to the Pile o’Rock.
Warming up
Self Love, Arm circles
Mtn Man Pooper Good Morning – That’s when Frac materialized.
Torso Twists
Imperial Walkers
Low Slow Sq
Slow VagodasPick up a challenging rock and rifle carry to the pavilion
Served up a imaginative smorgasbord of HIM growth food:Merkin, bird-dog, Merkin, Peter Parker Merkin, Parker, Peter Merkin, mountain climber, Merkin Plank jack – Repeat five times
Broga Stretch
With Rock
Sumo Squat
Curl
OH press
Tri Extension
Repeat 5xFour count wife Freddie Mercury 4 count, Four count wife pleaser, flutter kick ,Four count wife pleaser, Hello Dolly, Four count wife pleaser, O DOlly, Four count wife pleaser, Four count wife pleaser, Parker Peter Repeat 5 times
Broga stretch
Wife pleaser with Rock, 4 Ct chess press, pull over, five big boy situps with rock overhead flutter kicks – Repeat five times
Broga stretch
On the Table – Reverse wife pleaser, L/R leg on table – On Table -5 Leg lifts , 5 Single leg squats each, L/R Leg up on table – 10 CT Stretch each leg, 10 second runner stretch
shake out
return rocks
mosey back
COT -
I Pity the (April) Fool – from Bolt
YHC, in a not so cryptic way, let the pax know on the Q sheet the BD would be for fools since it WAS April Fool’s Day (a favorite of mine for nonsense, Tom Foolery, and shenanigans).
Warmorama featuring a disclaimer that the standard warm up song would NOT b part of today—Frac was giddy…alas, it IS 4/1: Rapper’s Delight it is. A little more stretch type stuff since it’s cooler temps still: tie fighters, grass grabbers, MMP along with the usual SSH, OH/seal claps, PP and of course MNC: I mean, BOTH Frac and Charmin!? It would b a sin not to; plus the aforementioned nonsense et al. Mosey to JPAX for coupon retrieval with the normal playlist—this was soon to change for these Fools…
The (Yen/Yang)Thang:
YHC explained the Yen would be the regular exercise in cadence followed by the Yang which entails a more time under tension version (a la Triple Shift) in cadence.There was considerable debate/dissent when the Yang was described that those things were not opposites (except I’m the Q—dammit) once we got going there was enough groaning from the PAX which confirms they are indeed the Fools today. Time for the playlist switch: BWAAHAHAHA
Squats X 15 (coupon)/Yang: hold bottom of squat for 3 count and push ground away, squeeze glutes at top for each rep x 10
Merkins x 15/Yang: hold mission impossible for 3 count and extend arms with plank jack at top for each rep x 10
Reverse lunges R x 15/Yang: hold left leg at 90 degrees/R leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch L elbow-R knee x 10
Derkins/ x 15 Yang: one derkin to Peter Parker x 8 (Frac HATED this and committed to doing it in the future)
Reverse lunges L x15: hold right leg at 90 degrees/L leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch R elbow-L knee x 10
Irkins x 15/Yang: one irkin to Parker Peter x 5
Tricep press x 15 (coupon)/Yang: hold tricep dip at the bottom for three count, up for rep
OH press x 15 (coupon)/Hold top OH press, squeezing pecs tight for 3 count down the rep count x 10 (Charmin couldn’t tell if he was squeezing at the top—bro, do u have pecs???)
Ring of Fire/Ice (10 count, holding plank for Fire and Qs count of Mary for Ice): Shoulder taps followed by LBCs x 30. Time to return coupons and head to flag. COT.
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Easter at the Renni – from Fracsac
Easter at the Renni went like this:
5 pax showed up to get the day started right. With the flag planted and a disclaimer given warmup facing the bacon.
On the steps of NOMA start off with the Easter Bunny’s arch enemy, the Tooth Fairy. Decline ‘mercins starting with 8 at the top step and finished with 1 at the bottom.
Jack Webb cut in with his routine.
One quick lap around the museum tossing the frisbee. A drop is 3 burpees.
Stations:
Station 1: Rows with 60 lb sandbag
Station 2: kettle bell swings with 50 lb sandbag
Station 3: jump rope
Station 4 and 5: frisbee toss from ends of museum. A drop means 3 burpees for all.Timer was 15 rows cumulative in the beginning as the frisbee toss did not go well. Wapner said we could do better if he had a football. Since the Q never disappoints, out comes the football and still plenty of burpees.
Back of museum for Sunday Mornings.
1 minute left at the flag so 10 burpees IC
COT followed by coffeteria.
Happy Easter!
SYITG
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Quattro Rounndso – from Kenna Brah
Saw some fellas in the gloom and they joined me for some fun.
Mosey to rocks
SSH
MTN MAN pooper Good mornings
open/close the gate
Slow vagodas
Grass grabbers
Arm circles f/bPick a rock, rifle carry to pavilion
Set 1)
3 rounds 5 reps:
1) merkin with 1 4 ct mtn climber at the top, merkin with 1 Parker Peter, merkin with 1 Peter Parker
5x
2) merkin to bird dog 5 x
3) LBCsSet 2)
3 rounds 10 reps
( lost my sheet, can’t remember All details)
With rock
10x sumo squats
10x row
10x curlSet 3)
3 rounds 15 reps
Left leg step ups
Right leg step up
L/R single leg
Wife pleasers3 rounds 20 reps
With Rock
Details lost 🙁 -
The non 10K – from Fracsac
YHC has been nursing a foot injury back to health, so CCC10k was out of the question. Lucky for YHC 4 other pax passed on the run as well.
A little challenging to get into the park, but it worked out.
Disclaimer given then mosey to the peristyle for a regular warmup. Lots of confused runners parked trying to figure out how to get to buses.
Move to great lawn and do some Jack Webbs.
Did BLIMPS on the corners of the great lawn with bear crawls on the short lengths.
Handed off to Thumb War and that included a trip to the fountain to grab some rocks. Made our way to Pop Bandstand for some coupon work. We saw curls, OH press, Sumo squats and Thrusters.
Squints took the helm and brought a round of Mary and some inch worms with ‘mericans that had the pax gasping for air.
Return the rocks and head to COT. Wait, there’s a minute left so 10 burpees IC.
CoT followed by coffeteria
SYITG
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The FNG – from Hawgcycle
Fracsac noticed the FNG as he walked up to the flag this morning. Something wasn’t quite right. He looked to be in his 30s, muscular build, slicked back hair, calm demeanor. Frac gave a knowing glance to Mahatma. Mahatma nodded back. They both looked to Rudy, putting him into action. When I walked up Rudy was standing by the FNG, making small talk, gathering intel. He made sure I knew what was happening:
“We have an FNG today Hawg.”
I walked over to greet him: “Nice to meet you, I’m Craig.”
“I’m Justin,” he replied.
I turned to the group: “Alright, let’s get started,” I said. “A few more people than I was expecting.”
The group understood what I was telling them – we have an FNG today and the F may not stand for Friendly. Everyone that is, except for Bogey. I could tell it was totally lost on him. That’s okay, the guys had recently had a training exercise called the Old Metairie Mosey where they learned how to take care of Bogey and keep him out of trouble. In the past I might have considered having Snooze put him in a sleeper hold and throw him in the trunk of Rudy’s Mini Cooper while the rest of us mosey to the warm-up. Not necessary today. We were prepared to handle the FNG and Bogey.
We moseyed to the warm-up spot: SSH x 25, IW x 25, LSS x 20, Tempo Merks x 15, LBC x 20, Superman x 10, Superman to Boat x 3. At this point some of the guys were getting a little nervous. Thumb War asked if I was making that exercise up. This was his way of asking if I had a plan for what might go down today. I assured him that we were all well-prepared.
“No Thumb War, we’ve been doing that exercise for a long time. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.”
Thumb War started to settle down a little. We then finished the warm-up with a 10! Progression of Merkins, Squats, and Big Boi Sit-Ups. After finishing the FNG broke his silence.He smiled and said “that was a good one.”
He was calm, breathing normally. This might be tougher than we thought.
We moseyed to the Tool Wall where we did Calf Raises x 25, Squats x 20 Left Leg Calf Raises x 16 and Right Leg Calf Raises x 16. Then to the Little Foundry.
On the mosey to the Little Foundry, Catfish pulled up beside me.“I’ve worn out my flip flops, but I don’t plan on losing one today. You know what I am saying.”
The brand of flip flops Catfish and I wear are Locals. I knew what he was saying.
“I hear you.” I replied.
“I plan on protecting my flip flops at any cost. You get my drift?”
“Yes. I understand.” I replied.
“I’m not going to let any foreign objects destroy them. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?”
“Yes, Catfish. I get it.”
“The flip flops we wear are Locals. You understand what I really mean when I say flip-flops, right?”
“Yes….”
“So if I have trouble with my flip-flops, you can help me protect them, right?”
“Don’t worry. I got you.”
“Sorry, I have to ask, you understand I’m not really worried about my flip-flops, right?”
At this point, I decided to set his mind at ease. “When we get to the Little Foundry, we will pair up. You take the FNG.”
“Pair up? Are we still talking about my flip-flops?”
“…”
At the Little Foundry we paired up. Catfish was with the FNG. Still slightly confused he kept taking off his flip-flops, matching them together and then putting them back on his feet. We did two rounds of six stations EMOM: Burpees x 15, Dips x 25, Pull-ups x 15, Box Jumps x 20, Dips x 20, Pull-ups x 15.
The FNG was unfazed.
As we moseyed to the track he started in with the questions. He wasn’t very subtle.
“So you all have been doing F3 for about 10 years?”…”Are you all originals?”…etc.
Our suspicions were being confirmed. Frac called for Cheesesteak to meet us at the track.
At the track I let everyone know they needed to keep their pairs. “I’ve got them on my feet!” yelled out Catfish.“Not what I’m….Okeedookie.” I said.
One Pax sprinted a 200 while the other jogged across the infield to meet him. I paired up with Cheesesteak and told him to go first with Catfish. That allowed me to keep an eye on the FNG. Cheeseteak and Catfish were the first to finish the 200. Catfish tagged the FNG about 15 feet ahead of Cheeseteak tagging me. I was hoping Catfish would have taken a notch off so that I could have started with the FNG, but I think he was still thinking about his flip-flops. Nevertheless, I was prepared to run as hard as I needed to keep up with the FNG. I caught him before the first curve. What was he doing? He knows I am trying to keep an eye on him? My momentum carried me past him. He’s smarter than I thought. He knows how fit I am. I can’t run that slow. I finished my 200 about 20 meters ahead of him. Luckily Catfish made up the distance and the FNG and I always started at nearly the same time. However, I couldn’t help but smoke him each time. It’s a weakness. I’m too fast.
We completed a mile and circled up on the infield for some Mary: Crunchy Frog x 15, Wife Pleasers x 10, Nolan Ryans x 10 on each side (message sent loud and clear), Dying Cockroaches x 15
We moseyed back to the flag for the COT. Here we go…..
El Guapo kicked us of with Count-o-rama, followed by Name-o-rama. It was time to signal to the group my assessment. I asked the FNG to step to the middle. Right on cue Frac pointed out that I had not announced my self in Name-o-rama. We had everyone’s attention.
“Craig Parten, Hawgcycle, 47.”
Mahatma called out. “Liar, you aren’t 47!”
Our message to the pax was that no one can be trusted. We have a liar in our midst and he is about to be outed.
“You’re right,” I replied with a smile. “I’m a liar. Justin, step to the middle. Tells us about yourself.”
At this point the FNG steps to the center and starts to talk about how he is from Virgina, how he is in town on a vacation, how his Uncle told him about F3.
“What is your uncle’s name?” asked Squints.
“Sam,” came the reply. He clearly thinks we are idiots.
The FNG continued to rattle on about his family, his dogs, how he loves to workout, etc.
Frac had heard enough. He took a step forward. We all did the same. “Why don’t you tell us who you really are.” We all took one more step forward, closing in on the FNG.
What happened next is classified by the U.S. Government.
