F3 New Orleans

Tag: FracSac

  • The FNG – from Hawgcycle

    Fracsac noticed the FNG as he walked up to the flag this morning. Something wasn’t quite right. He looked to be in his 30s, muscular build, slicked back hair, calm demeanor. Frac gave a knowing glance to Mahatma. Mahatma nodded back. They both looked to Rudy, putting him into action. When I walked up Rudy was standing by the FNG, making small talk, gathering intel. He made sure I knew what was happening:

    “We have an FNG today Hawg.”

    I walked over to greet him: “Nice to meet you, I’m Craig.”

    “I’m Justin,” he replied.

    I turned to the group: “Alright, let’s get started,” I said. “A few more people than I was expecting.”

    The group understood what I was telling them – we have an FNG today and the F may not stand for Friendly. Everyone that is, except for Bogey. I could tell it was totally lost on him. That’s okay, the guys had recently had a training exercise called the Old Metairie Mosey where they learned how to take care of Bogey and keep him out of trouble. In the past I might have considered having Snooze put him in a sleeper hold and throw him in the trunk of Rudy’s Mini Cooper while the rest of us mosey to the warm-up. Not necessary today. We were prepared to handle the FNG and Bogey.

    We moseyed to the warm-up spot: SSH x 25, IW x 25, LSS x 20, Tempo Merks x 15, LBC x 20, Superman x 10, Superman to Boat x 3. At this point some of the guys were getting a little nervous. Thumb War asked if I was making that exercise up. This was his way of asking if I had a plan for what might go down today. I assured him that we were all well-prepared.
    “No Thumb War, we’ve been doing that exercise for a long time. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.”
    Thumb War started to settle down a little. We then finished the warm-up with a 10! Progression of Merkins, Squats, and Big Boi Sit-Ups. After finishing the FNG broke his silence.

    He smiled and said “that was a good one.”

    He was calm, breathing normally. This might be tougher than we thought.

    We moseyed to the Tool Wall where we did Calf Raises x 25, Squats x 20 Left Leg Calf Raises x 16 and Right Leg Calf Raises x 16. Then to the Little Foundry.
    On the mosey to the Little Foundry, Catfish pulled up beside me.

    “I’ve worn out my flip flops, but I don’t plan on losing one today. You know what I am saying.”

    The brand of flip flops Catfish and I wear are Locals. I knew what he was saying.

    “I hear you.” I replied.

    “I plan on protecting my flip flops at any cost. You get my drift?”

    “Yes. I understand.” I replied.

    “I’m not going to let any foreign objects destroy them. Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?”

    “Yes, Catfish. I get it.”

    “The flip flops we wear are Locals. You understand what I really mean when I say flip-flops, right?”

    “Yes….”

    “So if I have trouble with my flip-flops, you can help me protect them, right?”

    “Don’t worry. I got you.”

    “Sorry, I have to ask, you understand I’m not really worried about my flip-flops, right?”

    At this point, I decided to set his mind at ease. “When we get to the Little Foundry, we will pair up. You take the FNG.”

    “Pair up? Are we still talking about my flip-flops?”

    “…”

    At the Little Foundry we paired up. Catfish was with the FNG. Still slightly confused he kept taking off his flip-flops, matching them together and then putting them back on his feet. We did two rounds of six stations EMOM: Burpees x 15, Dips x 25, Pull-ups x 15, Box Jumps x 20, Dips x 20, Pull-ups x 15.

    The FNG was unfazed.

    As we moseyed to the track he started in with the questions. He wasn’t very subtle.

    “So you all have been doing F3 for about 10 years?”…”Are you all originals?”…etc.

    Our suspicions were being confirmed. Frac called for Cheesesteak to meet us at the track.
    At the track I let everyone know they needed to keep their pairs. “I’ve got them on my feet!” yelled out Catfish.

    “Not what I’m….Okeedookie.” I said.

    One Pax sprinted a 200 while the other jogged across the infield to meet him. I paired up with Cheesesteak and told him to go first with Catfish. That allowed me to keep an eye on the FNG. Cheeseteak and Catfish were the first to finish the 200. Catfish tagged the FNG about 15 feet ahead of Cheeseteak tagging me. I was hoping Catfish would have taken a notch off so that I could have started with the FNG, but I think he was still thinking about his flip-flops. Nevertheless, I was prepared to run as hard as I needed to keep up with the FNG. I caught him before the first curve. What was he doing? He knows I am trying to keep an eye on him? My momentum carried me past him. He’s smarter than I thought. He knows how fit I am. I can’t run that slow. I finished my 200 about 20 meters ahead of him. Luckily Catfish made up the distance and the FNG and I always started at nearly the same time. However, I couldn’t help but smoke him each time. It’s a weakness. I’m too fast.

    We completed a mile and circled up on the infield for some Mary: Crunchy Frog x 15, Wife Pleasers x 10, Nolan Ryans x 10 on each side (message sent loud and clear), Dying Cockroaches x 15

    We moseyed back to the flag for the COT. Here we go…..

    El Guapo kicked us of with Count-o-rama, followed by Name-o-rama. It was time to signal to the group my assessment. I asked the FNG to step to the middle. Right on cue Frac pointed out that I had not announced my self in Name-o-rama. We had everyone’s attention.

    “Craig Parten, Hawgcycle, 47.”

    Mahatma called out. “Liar, you aren’t 47!”

    Our message to the pax was that no one can be trusted. We have a liar in our midst and he is about to be outed.

    “You’re right,” I replied with a smile. “I’m a liar. Justin, step to the middle. Tells us about yourself.”

    At this point the FNG steps to the center and starts to talk about how he is from Virgina, how he is in town on a vacation, how his Uncle told him about F3.

    “What is your uncle’s name?” asked Squints.

    “Sam,” came the reply. He clearly thinks we are idiots.

    The FNG continued to rattle on about his family, his dogs, how he loves to workout, etc.

    Frac had heard enough. He took a step forward. We all did the same. “Why don’t you tell us who you really are.” We all took one more step forward, closing in on the FNG.

    What happened next is classified by the U.S. Government.

  • Battle Stations – from Fracsac

    YHC answered the call to avoid the fart sack and signed up to Q at the Goldmine. Disclaimer given then 4 pax made their way to the warmup pad.

    Once warm, the pax made their way to YHCs truck to grab a few manly toys including a 53# sand kettle bell, a 60# sandbag and a rope. Back to the pad for stations.
    3 rounds with 2 visits to each station. 45 sec on/15 sec rest.
    Round 1 – kettle bell swings, rows, battle rope, burpees.
    Round 2 – kettle bell throws, 60# sandbag press, battle rope, pull-ups/hang.
    Round 3 – rows with kettle bell, plank pull through with sand bag, battle ropes, burpees.

    Mary with pax choice.

    COT

    Who knew we could sweat so much on a chilly morning??

  • Earlie in the Morning – from Heisenberg

    Warm up
    Grass Grabbers 10, Windmills 11, Imp Walkers 11, 5 burpees OYO, Deep Sea Diver (descending shoulder taps starting with 8 top step of Noma. 5 burpees OYO
    The Thing
    With the “Irish/Celtic/Sea Shanties” playlist from Amazon Music loaded we began 30 rounds of Tabata 40 seconds work 25 seconds rest. Stations 1. Step-ups 30lb ruck, 2. Dumbbell Curls using one foot on a stability pad, 3. 60lb Sandbag rows, 4Morrocan Night Clubs with 2.5 lb. egg weights,5. Heavy Jump rope, 27lb Kettle bell rows, Speed Rope, 20lb weighted Sit-ups.
    The Wrap up – 3 Sunday Mornings and 10 burpees OYO
    Welcome first timer Mr. Rogers
    COT

  • Spontaneous Q’ing – from Kenna Brah

    Arrived to find the PAX lacking a Q ( AKA Q’less), having missed my last TWO Q appointments, I decided to jump into the vacuum.

    Mosey to the Colonnade for warm-ups
    SSH
    IW
    LSQ
    REALLY SLOW VAGODAS/GRASS GABBERS
    Pivoted to some YOGA

    Without a prepared BD, I pulled out my trusty go to plan:
    10 things 10 times, for 10 rounds
    Each pax took a exercice
    Smooth – SSH
    Heisenberg – Burpees ( Big surprise)
    Vagabond – Air Squats
    Fracsac – LBC
    Catfish – 8 Ct Body Builders
    Cheesesteak – Lunges
    Maytag – Merkins
    Mr Rogers – Should Taps
    Christopher Robin – Alternate Leg Wife Pleasers
    YHC – BB Situps
    After 5 Rounds and a stunned look on the faces of the PAX we pivoted to each HIM chooses what to do next, then it all went crazy – Trust me. It was a more than adequate way to grow in leadership, creativity and all around fitness.

    COT

  • – from Bolt

    The Chaos Monkey posted in another channel that he’d be at a retreat which meant no Q and YHC could take the ultimate anti-fartsack medicine—The Q…so he did.

    Warmorama with a special song for Frac and the usual: Peter Parker, Parker Peter, LSS, SSH, FAC, RAC, OH/Seal claps, IW, finish with Morning Calls. Make our way to the gym switching MOT at light poles (mosey, KnOT, high knees, open/close gate, lunge) along with three burpees at each bench.

    The Thang: 5 pax, 5 exercises for 1min. each (counting reps) with 10 sec to switch stations x 2 rounds with round 2 designed to exceed round 1rep count by 3 reps. All pax except YHC bested themselves on at least one station except YHC—blame it on the time change. Horses to stables, COT.

  • The Art of the Poor Plan – from Fracsac

    9 Pax gathered around the shovel flag in hopes of a quality beat down from a Q that put significant effort into the planning of said beat down. YHC intended to do his best to let the pax down easy.

    The Great Lawn was like an anthill with busy workers assembling their vendor stations for the morning market, which was odd to see at 0630. So much for the plan thought out on the drive in.

    Brief disclaimer and mosey to the peristyle for the warmup. The speaker was playing classic 80s music and it was good.

    Head back towards the flag to stop at the truck for a few toys. Grab the 1.5 inch rope x 25 feet (or thereabouts), an exercise die (two would be dice), a frisbee, and a jump rope.

    Mosey to the tree line by NOMA. Separate into 3 groups of 3.
    Group 1 – Keeping the rope off the ground, run 5 trees, do 10 squats and return (timer). If the rope touches the ground it’s a 5 burpee penalty.
    Group 2 – Roll the die and do what it says.
    Group 3- toss frisbee, lunge walk to it, then 3 burpees.
    Rinse and repeat.

    Mosey to the Tulips and learn some useless tulip facts. Do some burpees. Do 3 minutes of Embrace the Suck.

    Mosey to the singing oak and do failure to launch, Embrace the Suck x 3 minutes, ring of fire.

    Mosey back to the flag.

    CoT

    NMM

    Apparently we had an FNG this morning. I learned this at the CoT, which is a problem if you’re the Q. Thankfully everything worked out, except the beat down was a total mess filled with useless facts and even wrong information. Regardless, calories were burned, sweat was drawn, and no man was left behind.

    Welcome Rebirth!!

    SYITG

  • L is for Idiots – from Rev Sox

    YHC is back. I know the pax has missed both my creative Qs and delightful leadership style and after not Qing a workout for months, I’m back but with a slight controversy.

    YHC volunteered to Q the Goldmine at the conclusion to the Scrum but never filled out the Q sheet. Another kind Pax member wrote in YHC’s name but then in the note column wrote “L” which led to questions and intrigue from the pax. What does the L stand for? Is L for Loser because YHC has missed F3 so often over the last two years? Is L for the second L in YHC’s last name? Is L for an inventive new workout the likes of which the F3 Nations has never seen before?
    YHC did not write his name on the Q sheet and the L means nothing….. until the Pax forced it to mean something because we are all idiots.

    The Thang
    Warm-up – 20 SSH, 20 Imperial Walkers, 15 Floyd Mayweathers, 10 windmills

    Fresh Meat for the Mosquitos – the mosquitos were out in force during the Scrum on Monday, so YHC thought he would play into that reality by offering up the Pax as sacrifices to the swarm. 6 pax were present, so we broke up into 3 groups of two. One group dead man hang, one group holds plank, one group holds the up position on the dip bar. Hang until the first dead man can hang no longer and switch until all pax members have offered themselves to the mosquitos by hanging on the monkey bars.

    Route 66 – mosey down 10 light posts on the path. Travel back down the path doing 1 merkin at the first light post with ascending count until there are 10 merkins at the 10th light post. YHC is not in merkin shape.

    Elevens – the remainder of the workout was a long version of elevens which no pax finished before the end. Upon announcing that the next workout would be eleven, led by the nantan himself, the Pax announced that L must stand for Eleven. Does Eleven start with L? No. But we are all idiots, so sure L stands for Elevens. Start with 10 burpees at the top of the ramp leading to the performing arts center, run down to the bottom where cinder blocks await, do 11 curls with the blocks, run to the front of the performing arts center and do 1 box jump on the stone benches, run back to the cinder blocks for 11 squats with the blocks and then run back up the ramp to start round two with 9 burpees then 11 curls then 2 box jumps, and 11 squats and so forth. Continue the exercise until 6:11 when the Pax needs to return to the flag.

    The End
    1 set of 20 flutter kicks to get the pax to 6:15. Count off, Name-O-Rama, Announcements, Intentions, Prayer with Sweaty Ball O Man

    Thank you for welcoming back your favorite Q, See you again in the gloom,
    Rev Sox

  • Ol’ dirty fünfzehn – from Vagabond

    Warmup

    Run to Wisner and back tree weave

    Three exercises: legs core arms – 15 each

    situp punches
    squats
    merkins

    American hammers
    Lunges
    derkins

    v ups
    Bobby Hurley
    Decline shoulder taps 2 is 1

    Bicycle crunches legs straight
    Bonnie Blair
    Push up with Nolan Ryan

    Pax choice

    Sunday mornings

  • Cold and Wet Gloom – Or Not – from Architect

    It was clear that the anticipated weather scared off those not mentally ready, even the KOTers. The rain held out, the temps were mild, and the waters were high; almost the pure definition of The Gloom. PAX participated in “7 mins of Heaven”, followed by various rounds of PAX-picked movements and water jug carries. Special thx to Mr. Rogers for providing the jugs.

  • #41 (not the Dave Matthews song) at Okwata – from Thumb War

    Disclaimer and Bday announcement.

    Mosey to the grass area in front of Mardi Gras fountain for Warmup in Cadence :

    Abe bagotas
    Grass grabbers
    Low slow squats
    Hill Billies
    Arm circles F & B
    Seal claps
    Moroccan night clubs
    Peter Parkers
    Mountain climbers
    SSH – 41 in Cadence

    Thang:

    2 rounds of Route 66 towards bridge near Marconi

    Round 1
    Jogging between the light poles, did escalating burpees at each stop starting with 1 rep

    Round 2
    Jogging between the poles, did ascending air squats starting with 11 reps

    We jogged across the street towards levee but stopped along the way and held People chair at the wall.

    Indian Ran the levee top to the house of pain for 4 sets of 5 pull ups.

    Jogged back to lake by Okwata sign for around the horn of Mary.

    Back to the Flag for COT and thanks for the Bday Q and F3 in my life.

    PS. #41 is one of my favorite Dave Matthews Band songs.