F3 New Orleans

Tag: FracSac

  • Twas an Epic Battle – from Fast Tax

    ‘Twas an Epic Battle
    The morning dawned bright and clear at El Diablo as 10 PAX made their way to the flag, having made the wise choice to avoid the pot-hole ridden millennial Frisbee game Uptown. You could feel the wonder and anticipation permeating in the crisp November air as questions swirled in the minds of the PAX present; what did Fast Tax have in store for us? Would there be chocolate as promised? Did I leave the iron on?

    After a quick disclaimer, we moseyed to our usual warm-up area by the rocks accompanied by Fracsac’s and Bogie’s moaning about it being a sprint instead of a mosey.
    Just for Hokie, YHC modified his regimented game plan to begin with Hillbillies, for a reason that I can no longer remember…something to do with some team winning something…

    Remaining warmups consisted of:
    o Arm Circles (fwd and bwd)
    o Seal Claps
    o Skydiving Australian Snow Angels

    Right as warmups completed, we were joined by Stripes, (Fast Tax 2.0) having returned from deployment.

    Unwilling to jump right into the main event, YHC selected the Ascending Testicles to kick things off: 10 Merkins OYO at 15 degrees (hold for PAX), 10 Merkins at 45 degrees, and hold at 90 degrees (aka balls to the wall).

    The next exercise, the Bruce Lee, would test the bounds of the concentration or understanding of many of the PAX (apparently), since the difficulty evident in following directions was paramount.

    The Bruce Lee was supposed to consist of 3 sets of 15 reps of each the following: Hammer, Leg Lifts, Dying Cockroach, LBCs, Heel Touch, and Crunchy Frog, with a 30 sec rest b/t sets.

    However, with time and comprehension both limited, YHC wisely decided to push on to the next event, the Flip-Flop.

    The Flip-Flop is a 2-PAX team exercise that begins on a starting line with PAX 1 flipping a pallet end over end to a designated finish line while PAX 2 lunges to the same line holding a 35-40lb rock. PAX switch at the line and race back. Admittedly, YHC could have engineered more creative uses for the pallets (thanks to Hokie for the pallet loaner) but, I didn’t want to take too much time away from the main event.

    After returning rocks and pallets, we moseyed to the field for the big reveal…BATTLE FRISBURPEE.

    To the wonder and delight of those in attendance, YHC explained the concept and the rules.

    Battle Frisburpee – The Concept:
    A blend of ultimate Frisbee and dodgeball, with an emphasis on individual burpee punishment, played running the width of a football field as the length and the 5 and 20 yard lines as the left and right boundaries. Each sides goal began 5 yards in from the corresponding end. This equates to a field 160 yds from end to end, including a 5 yd end zone on each side, and a width of 15 yards (or more if more than 10 players).

    Battle Frisburpee – The Rules:
    To score, a PAX must catch the Frisbee in the opposing team’s end zone (duh).
    When a team scores, the entire opposing team must do 4 burpees.
    If the Frisbee is dropped, i.e. thrown but not caught, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or the one who muffed the catch) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and is treated as a fumble, any nearby PAX from either team can pick it up and resume play.

    If the Frisbee goes out of bounds, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or whoever it hits on the way out) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is “dead” and is treated like a soccer ball that went out of bounds, i.e. the opposing team now stands at the spot it went out and immediately resumes play (without waiting for burpees to be completed).

    If either of the player’s feet or any part of the Frisbee itself crosses the boundary, it is deemed out of bounds (clarification provided for Frac’s sake).
    Each team must appoint a “Baller” to act as a goalie of sorts. The Baller stays in the end zone and can throw the dodgeball at any approaching opposing team member, whether they are holding a Frisbee or not. A player hit with the ball, must immediately drop the Frisbee, if carrying one, and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and can be picked up by anyone else.

    The Baller is the only one who can throw the ball at an opposing player and the Baller must throw only from the end zone.
    The player is only “hit” if the ball doesn’t touch the ground first.

    With that out of the way YHC will finish the tale…
    Team 1: Fast Tax, Stripes, Bolt, Shooter, and Triple Shift
    Team 2: Boo-Boo, Hokie, Bogie, Frac Sac, Hawg, and Rudy

    The battle was close and hard fought…not really. It was close for the first 2 points, then admittedly, Team 2 pulled ahead, clearly due to their height advantage over Team 1. After several close calls and numerous burpees, Team 2 walked away with bragging rights, with a final score of 4-1.

    With game over we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
    Followed by Coffeteria at PJs.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • Recovery at The Renaissance – from Fracsac

    The Renaissance welcomed a visit from none other than Pauly D, our HIM that relocated to the barren wasteland of California. YHC needed a little recovery work from the recent GoRuck Tough completed less than 24 hours earlier. As YHC pulled up to the AO, he found Pauly D trembling from the 42 degrees temps and decided to put the recovery on the back burner, as this pax needed to warm up. Triple Shift showed up, and it was time to get started.

    After giving a brief disclaimer, Head to the steps of NOMA.

    Face the bacon for the warmup. Attend the Renaissance and you’ll understand….

    We did warmup stuff, then added in some chinook squats just for fun.

    The Thang

    Tabata!

    8 rounds of 30 seconds work and 15 seconds rest.

    Round 1 – Burpees (now Pauly D is warm)
    Run a lap around NOMA
    Round 2 – Plank Jacks – stay in plank during rest!
    Run a lap
    Round 3 – Step ups at the fountain
    Run a lap
    Round 4 – Big Boi Sit-ups
    Run to the back of NOMA for Sunday Mornings x 5
    Back to the VSF for a 1 minute plank

    COT

    Coffeteria followed with 💯 attendance plus a couple!

    SYITG

  • Look Mom! I’m 4! – from Rev Sox

    Everyone is born once. Many have been born twice. A select few have been born thrice. Today YHC celebrates the 4th anniversary of my third birth.
    On January 27, 1983 on a cold, wintry morning in Binghamton, NY, Shawn Willson was born to David and Becky Willson at Wilson General Hospital.
    At some point in the late 80s, YHC has no clue to the precise date, he had his second and most important birth. YHC believed and trusted in Jesus to save him and give him His life. At that moment, YHC was born again through the power and saving work of Jesus to now live with eternal life.
    On Veterans Day weekend in 2017, Hawgcycle and Channel Mullet heaped unending piles of guilt on YHC’s two scrawny shoulders and convinced YHC to join them for his first F3 workout. The following morning through sweat, tears, and much complaint, YHC was born a third time as Rev Sox. Hater of Red Sox and hater of step ups. The Pax celebrates that day, today.
    Circle Up for the Warm Up
    No mosey to the Rock Pile or some dark corner of Pontiff Park, the Pax starts this one hot with the warm-up right at the flag.
    SSH – 20
    Hillbillies (in honor of the hillbilly standing next to YHC who introduced him to this stupid group) – 20
    Smurfjacks – 20
    Low Slow Squat – 12
    Bat wings (don’t put your arms down until we’re done) – 10 forward arm circles, 10 reverse, 10 seal claps, 10 overhead claps, 10 Moroccan night clubs
    The Thang
    Mosey to the first pavilion, it’s occupied, mosey to the second pavilion to commence the memory of YHC’s first F3 – this means step ups
    Dips – 15
    Right leg step ups – 15
    Dips – 15
    Left leg step ups – 15
    Mosey to the bleachers
    Tooth fairy
    Seven merkins on the first bench of the bleachers, six on the second bench, and so on until you hit one at the top
    Alternating step ups – 20
    Mosey to the playground
    Alternating step ups – 20
    Mosey to the Rock Pile and Grab a Rock
    In Cadence, 6 curls and 1 shoulder press, 5 curls and 1 shoulder press, 4 and 1, 3 and 1, 2 and 1, 1 and 1
    Now with 6 shoulder press and 1 triceps extension
    Now with 6 chest press and 1 big boy sit up
    Now with 6 squats and 1 curl
    Return your rock and Mosey to the football field. At this point, Mop began to trash talk that he was feeling perfect and maybe the Q needed to step things up and make it more difficult. That kid is such a punk. Who lets a 9-year-old come to F3 anyway?
    Circle Up for Some Climate Change
    In honor of COP26, F3 NOLA did our part this morning by hugging our imaginary trees and putting our faces in the grass in remorse over all the noxious gases that have been released into the atmosphere during F3 workouts. The Pax held Al Gore while the first Pax went down and did 6 merkins, the second began his after 3 were completed. Two rounds around the circle.
    The Celebrating Fun
    It’s not a Rev birthday without Ultimate Frisbee and some guys running around without a shirt on in the cold so Boo Boo and War Eagle can complain about it on end for the next couple of years.
    The Pax split up in two teams – shirts and skins. The shirts won because they are a bunch of jerks who don’t let the Q win on his birthday celebration. Thankfully, since there were no Lakeview players present, cheating was at a minimum with everyone hitting the ground for their merkins after every turnover. Final score: shirts 5, skins 4.
    The End
    Short mosey back to the flag as the Pax counts off, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer. Thank you all from the depths of my heart for what you have each meant to me over the past 4 years. Your presence is everything. Working out alone is the worst. May F3 endure from now until the end of Christ’s rule on earth. I hope to do F3 into eternity.

  • HIMs Go Back to School – from Fracsac

    4 Pax made a choice to take the DRP on their journey to get right and posted to The OG on the Best Bank! War Eagle, Hokie, Shortbus and YHC were ready! With a shovel flag planted, disclaimer was given, then:

    Warmup :

    Typical stuff, including a little dancing with MNC!!

    Hit the parking lot wall for:

    Jackass Burpee Webbs

    It’s like a Jack Webb, but with 1 burpee, 2 donkey kicks, 2 burpees, 4 donkey kicks and so on.

    You may think it’s the burpees that get you, and you’d be wrong!

    Back to the main area for some schooling, Billy Madison style.
    Run a lap, do 12 Merkins – that’s 1st grade
    Run a lap, do 12 Merkins and 12 LBCs – that’s 2nd grade.
    Keep the stack going with more horrible exercises. We made it to our Junior year, and then ended with our 12 burpees required to get our diploma. We’re HIMs!!!!

    COT

    Great stuff!

    SYITG

  • Trick and Treat at the Renni – from Fracsac

    5 Pax at the Renaissance for a Halloween themed fun fest. YHC arrived early to set up. As the Pax arrived in the cool 57 degrees low humidity gloom, they were greeted by a T-Rex. You may be thinking prehistoric meat eater T-Rex, but nay, this was the lovable inflatable T-Rex that was far closer to the likes of Barney, just not as purple.
    As YHC looked closer in the gloom, he noticed a luchador Heisenberg lurking in the shadows quietly knocking out 8 count Body builders. Surge, Triple Shift and Catfish rounded out the 5.

    After giving a brief disclaimer, YHC heard the Pax ask how the Q intended to lead a beat down wearing an inflatable party favor. After a short wrestle with said inflatable, YHC managed to remove it at which time the Pax were amazed at what they saw! Underneath that lovable bag of hot air was Kylo Q, the Dark Jedi.

    Face the bacon for the warmup. Attend the Renaissance and you’ll understand….

    We did warmup stuff, then YHC asked what Halloween was all about? Trick or Treat of course!

    The Thang

    YHC had a trick bag and two treat bags. Picking up the trick bag, as tricks always come first, a pax was asked to pull from it. First draw was:

    Candy Corn Run – People’s Run with last man dropping for 3 burpees and sprint to front. Go around NOMA until all pax get a turn.

    Second draw:

    Ghost bustin’ – Played the Ghost Busters song where the pax did a burpee every time “Ghost Busters” was said, and plank jacks during the “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” part.

    Third Draw – Jack o lantern Web. Ok, so it’s a Jack Webb. To enter the psychological thriller territory, we passed up 10 and did 11 and 22.

    Now onto the Treats! Pax chose a treat bag. First bag was a soccer ball. Head to field where cones are set up. Since Triple Shift took a pumpkin to the face at El Diablo, YHC decided to remove kicking from this game. It was more ultimate frisbee rules with a soccer ball. Dropping the ball or scoring results in 3 x 8 count Body builders.

    Onto the next treat bag! A football! Two hand touch with 4 downs to get to end zone. Rushing the QB allowed after count to 5. Both teams scored so more 8 count Body builders!

    Head to back of NOMA for Sunday Mornings x 5. YHC put on some Halloween music. Surge asks, “No Thriller?” With that Thriller was played.

    Head back to flag. One minute remaining, so 8 count Body builders IC x 15.

    COT

    Thanks for joining me and having some fun on Halloween.

    Coffeteria at PJs Metry Road.

    SYITG

  • F3 Justice – from Kuch

    F3 Regional Court – View District

    In the View District Court of F3 New Orleans

    ————————————————————–
    F3 Nola,
    Petitioner,
    v.
    Jeffrey “Kuch” Green
    Respondent
    ———————————————————-

    Kenner (America’s City), USA

    Friday, Oct. 29th, 2021

    APPEARANCES:

    The Honorable Boudreaux T. Hawgcycle, III, Pontiff, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Fracsac, The View, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Jefferey “Kuch” Green; LVCCC, F3 NOLA; the Respondent.
    Mambi, Hokie, Mahatma, Bear, Kennah Bruh, War Eagle, Bolt, Triple Shift as witnesses

    DISCLAIMER AND WARM-UP
    (5:30 AM)

    PROCEEDINGS
    (5:35 AM)

    Judge Hawgcycle: We will hear the argument in case 21-003, F3 NOLA vs. Jeffery “Kuch” Green. Mr. Kuch, allegations have been brought forth that you are a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, no good, Yankee lawyer. These are serious allegations and will be discussed at length throughout this morning’s trial. In keeping with a tradition of the court we will open this session with 15 burpees on your own. Proceed.
    The courtroom does 15 burpees. Bailiff Fracsac ensures that burpees end with a clap, adhering to courtroom regulations.

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the first allegation against Mr. Kuch. It has been discovered that in early 2018, Mr. Kuch visited a Yankee website to look up exercise names. After visiting said website, he proceeded to name running up a levee backwards “The Bernie Sanders.” The court contends that Mr. Kuch had no authority in naming this exercise. Let the records show that as early as 2016 this exercise, commonly performed at the City Park District AO Okwata, had been referred to by the name “Quadraphilia,” by the good men of F3 NOLA. If it pleases the court (and it does) everyone will now participate in a round of Quadraphilia. By definition this exercise will last 4 minutes.

    The Court did a round of Quadraphilia

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the second allegation against Mr. Kuch. It appears Mr. Kuch has started a non-F3 workout with only F3 participants. This is the bi-weekly Broga workout occurring in the City Partk District of F3 NOLA. This is an unsanctioned workout, but because of the F3 only participation, it has caused a great deal of confusion in the greater community. Article I of the Core Principles is clearly broken. The workout is not free. Adherence to Article IV of the Core Principals is questionable at best. The workout is led by the same gentleman each time, Mark “Pretzel” Berger. Mr. Pretzel is an acquaintance of the Court and his F3ness is clearly in question. Now if it pleases the court (and it clearly does) I will lead the court in a round of F3 NOLA Style Yoga to provide an example of how one should properly pay for a beatdown….through pain.

    The Court did the following exercises:
    • Downward Dog Merkins x 20
    • Warrior I Bonnie Blairs x 5

    At this time the court yields the floor to the Respondent:

    MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT:

    Kuch: the charges against me are serious, and I apologize to this Honorable Court and the Metry contingent on hand for the following:

    • Any time one of your wives saw me in one of my super hot tank tops and accidentally called you Kuch during intimate conversations during the following week.
    • For all of those times you got home and didn’t have to throw your $100 pair of tennis shoes in the dryer or place them on the outside A/C unit.
    • For using the exicon in an attempt to bring more variety to workouts and to make them more interesting.
    • For giving you an opportunity to gain mobility and prevent injuries.
    • For giving you a safe place to wear your yoga pants.

    In my defense, I come before the Court with exercises I believe will please Sheriff Frac Sac.
    The thang: 9 minute ascending EMOM burpee pyramid starting at 6 burpees and going through 14. On the dark side of the levee with visibility low, appropriate tunes were selected: Metallica’s “One” on repeat throughout the 9 minutes. Mumblechatter ensued. T-claps to the 4 people who got every single burpee. It was dark, but I recall Triple Shift, Sheriff Frac, The Hon. Hawgcycle, and one more (maybe Mahatma?)

    I reserve the remainder of my time for rebuttal:

    THE MORE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

    Judge Hawgcycle: It is the understanding of this court that Mr. Kuch has manipulated dozens of men in the greater New Orleans area using aggressive, psychological techniques. Through his manipulation he has convinced them to leave their comfortable, yet joyless lives, and follow him in the Gloom of F3 NOLA. Mr. Kuch’s aggressive behavior does not stop there. He constantly terrorizes men, texting them each evening to pressure them into posting in the Gloom. He is known to arrive in their driveway, yanking them from the comforts of their home and taking them to that morning’s workout. There have been allegations that he has an organized a car pool ring, known only as the LVCC, that terrorizes the Lakeview Community every weekday morning. The court does not take these allegations lightly. If it pleases the court (and it obviously does) we will now participate in an exercise to prove how psychotic this man is. May I have a volunteer?

    Kennah-Bruh raised his hand

    6 cones(representing the men of this world) were set out about 10 yards apart along the bike path. Kennah-Bruh played the role of Kuch and it was his job to make sure each cone was standing. All other members of the court represented the Cares of the World and their job was to knock the cones down. After knocking a cone over, you run to the top of the levee, then you can come back and knock cones over again.

    We did this for about 4 minutes. Kennah-Bruh worked valiantly to keep the cones upright, but he was unable to do so. At this point Kennah-Bruh petitioned the court for assistance.

    Mambi joined Kennah-Bruh and over the next 3 minutes they worked together to keep the cones upright. They had better results, but many cones continued to be knocked down.

    Triple Shift petitioned the court to join Mambi and Kennah-Bruh. With three men monitoring 6 cones it was more difficult for the Cares of the World to knock cones down. It became clear by then end of the exercise that anything greater than a one-to-one ratio of Kuchs to cones would be optimal. The court rests upon the argument that this is the goal of Kuch, to create an army of men in Lakeview that are constantly protecting the well-being of others.

    IN MY FURTHER DEFENSE:

    I throw myself at the mercy of this Court and acknowledge the seriousness of the transgressions, especially the yoga. Who could have known when this all started that only months later, F3 men would be showing up to workouts in yoga pants and their newest Lululemon attire. I take no joy in the yoga-fying of f3 New Orleans, and again in my defense, I think most of the uptown guys already had a considerable amount of Lululemon athleticasual wear for all seasons. I suggest it could have been worse – I’ve never made a man wear Notre Dame shoes. I don’t get people’s feet wet when I Q. There is a lot respect for shoes in the LVCC. I’ve never asked a man to take a 12-hour stroll with a 30-pound backpack or run 100 miles through the damn woods. But still, in light of the charges against me, with my last act as champion of this AO, soon to deposed, I set my sights on one final goal.

    Now, some may say this goal is completely out of reach, like teaching the blind to see or the deaf to hear. I prefer to think of it as a “lifetime project,” something that we know will take many many eons to attain, but remains attainable, in theory at least, nonetheless. That goal: Bring a modicum of frisbee competency to Metry.

    The thang: Gather in a circle, 2 in the middle, guys in the circle pass the frisbee around, and everytime it hits the ground, 5 merks for everyone in the circle and 2 new people in the middle. There. Were. Many. Merkins. I lost count quickly. However, as time went on, we were able to string together some rallies, so I feel like we took an important step. We will see next time we all step on the field.

    In all seriousness, briefly: Thanks for having me fellas. Thanks for a truly unique and creative beatdown, Hawg. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for bearing with me for the stuff that did not work as well. Frisindian run…. Enjoyed spending some time with my Metry brothers. I will be back. Congrats to Hawg, truly a HIM.

    VERDICT:

    Court was adjourned around the flag of the United States of America. After instructions from the lead juror, Mr. Mambi, the jury quickly returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all counts. It is hereby proclaimed by this court that Mr. Kuch has been found guilty of being a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, Clown Car driving, Emotional Headlocking, Accountability Providing, Encouraging, High Impact Man and is hearby relieved of his duties as the Champion Q of F3 New Orleans and is sentenced to 6 months of Community Service in the Pontiff District teaching the most uncoordinated men in the F3 NOLA region the fundamentals of Frisbee.

  • They All Ask’d for You – from Triple Shift

    Complacency is the enemy of Acceleration!

    I had fell into the habit of recycling a few good workouts with a minor tweak here and there but let’s face it…I was in a Q rut. I could always use the excuse of ‘Cause Covid’ or Hurricane Ida but the reality is that I got lazy. The rhythm of life got jumbled up and I forgot that I have a responsibility to the pax members who show up. With that in mind, I went to the F3 Nation Exicon page and…WHOA….I had numerous ideas on just the first page. With a little inspiration, I was off and running (so to speak) with the Animal Parade theme.

    WARMUP
    Start off with 10 inch worms facing the bacon and enjoying the sunrise.
    10 – Low Slow Squats (8 count)
    10 – Low Slow Merkins (8 count)

    THE THANG
    We lined up on front apron to the left side of NOMA and then performed the following movements to travel to the right side of the NOMA. It is approximately 30 yards.
    Bear Crawl then Crawl Bear (try to keep your hips lower than your torso for both movements)
    Duck Walk then Walk Duck (try to keep your chest up and knees bent at 90 degrees)
    Monkey to the right then Monkey to the left. (try to keep your chest above your hips as you move left to right then right to left. Hands first then feet second)
    Now that we were warmed up, we used the concrete benches behind the front columns for 10 pistol squats and Bulgarian split squats on each leg.
    Head to the fountain for 10 low slow dips (8 count) and 30 right leg step ups and 30 left leg step ups. For all those doing the Veterans Day Go Ruck in NOLA, it is my strong suspicion that we will be doing the CHAD 1000x. Yes, you guessed it, you have to perform 1000 step ups in honor of Chad Wilkinson.
    With 10 minutes left, we go to the back of NOMA and perform Jackass Webbs which is one burpee with 2 donkey kicks up to 5 burpees and 10 donkey kicks. We finish it out with Sunday mornings and head back to the flag.

    COUNTOFF, NAMERAMA, AND COT
    Extremely grateful for the men today and their efforts! Prayed for a greater awareness of our mission and that we would live life with skill to impact others in a positive way. Soli Deo Gloria!

  • A Deck 4 the Pax – from Fracsac

    YHC took the Q at the Mothership and skipped an opportunity to ruck in the west.
    With a brief disclaimer given, 4 pax headed to the great lawn to warm up. Warmup was typical stuff which Rudy, Triple Shift and Catfish thoroughly enjoyed. Closed out with some 8 count Body builders IC to satisfy some of the monthly ISI challenge.

    Mosey to the track for the main event.

    With the F3 deck in hand, instructions were simple. Flip a card and complete 10 of the exercise as a 4 count IC unless the card gave specific instructions, such as 100 calf raises.

    We did most all the Merkins available in the deck early on. If you Q with the deck, YHC recommends stacking the deck in a way to prevent that from happening. It’s like a fair way of cheating.

    We did most of the deck, then moseyed back to the shovel flag for the COT where we met up with Tool as he finished his 8 plus mile run.

    -The Mothership has been like riding an elevator to the top floors of the Hancock Whitney Center recently, the numbers continue to dwindle as people step off other floors. If the other AOs were overflowing it wouldn’t be a big deal, but maybe a little over a dozen between 3 AOs is a bit alarming. Maybe it’s just a busy time for families.
    -We headed to Hahnville to gut a house as part of our Ida relief efforts, with Gabby as Q.

    SYITG