F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • An Anniversary of Something – from Honeysuckle

    Nine men Came Together at the Lion’s savannah for the 55th anniversary of Something. What exactly that was, we’d have to find out later. First a good warmarama, and thorough, was needed, with the usuals.

    Then a mosey through Aldi’s parking lot to Rienzi drive, through the St Francis vegetable and Octopus Garden. Despite some fears that the garden shed was going to be involved, we moseyed right past to the basketball court. The door was locked, so we’d have to come in through the back room window anyway.

    Thang 1 was to be a Dora consisting of 155 Merkins, 155 Squats, and 155 Hillbilly Walkers (2:1). Full time transport was Carioca. This was chosen as we were right in the middle of a Tuesday IPC and a Saturday BK 500. No coupons, so no carrying that weight. And no Paradox today, so no one to call YHC “Honey” or even Oh Darling. All this was written on YHC’s Polythene-covered paper. Smooth and YHC were lagging behind, in no small part due to bad math. But Because of that, the Majesty of the PAX to pick us up at The End was on full display.

    During the Dora, YHC dropped several clues about the magical mystery anniversary and greatly enjoyed the back and forth among Yankee Joe, Goose, AB, and Popeye about what it might be, and eventually the order of release of Beatles albums. Still, the PAX didn’t take long to deduce that today was the 55th anniversary of the release of Abbey Road by the Beatles. This would lead to Thang 2.

    Thang 2 was to be “AB”-bey Road. Following three medleys in the album, YHC had prepared a medley of Mary exercises. The first medley was a single track, You Never Give Me Your Money (as in the case of F3). America’s Best, having smelled that trivia was occurring, began his usual tact of messing up YHC’s questions by stating all (well, at least some of) the trivia he knew about the topic at once. Surprisingly, when Pope began doing the same, all I could think is Here Comes the (goose’s) Son also.

    The second medley was Mean Mr Mustard, Polythene Pam, and She Came in Through the Bathroom Window. We then discussed the intracies of the album cover and how people used it to perpetuate the “Paul is Dead” conspiracy.

    Finally, to AB’s chagrin we skipped Golden Slumbers to jump right in to Carry that Weight, The End, and Her Majesty.

    Mosey back to the savannah. We then did a mini-equalizer to grab another minute of work. The Fire Within went from White Meat to Pope. Announcements included YHC’s poor Paradox impression to hype up the BK 500. Popeye prayed us out.

    Thanks PAX for knowing that one day you’d have to listen to the Beatles and showing up day in and day out anyway.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Burpee, a History Volume 2: To Burpfinity and Beyond – from Paradox

    YHC has always loved a good origin story.
    Forged in radioactive slime or some gamma rays gone wrong? Sign me up. But there’s also a lot of really interesting beauty to be discovered in the story behind the routine and mundane we take for granted. Microwaves , penicillin, Velcro, HoneySuckles 2003 Garmin watch.
    All have unique backgrounds and lessons to learn. So YHC wanted to reach back into the F3 history lessons and attempt to give the pax some appreciation for our old friend …the burpee.

    3 objectives today for 8 pax at the Lions Dirt Patch.

    Objective 1:
    A safety PSA for the burpee.

    One of YHCs annual duties as assistant to the regional manager of beatdown safety is a yearly PSA on burpee form. Especially pertinent during IPC.

    See works cited volume 1:

    Okay, for the Yankee Jeauxs out there just sit back down and sip your Ensure …I know you smell the hypocrisy here that the leader in poor form can’t lead a beatdown about proper form but hey F3 is all about improvement ok.

    Objective 2.)
    Honor Mr Burpee and share his story.

    Objective 3.)
    Explore the millions of burpee variations and honor other accidental inventions and origin mishaps along the way .
    We want to be safe but we also want to push the boundaries of our physical limits so that maybe one day our children can say “oh the kraken burpee, my dad used to do those while his friends talked about omelette PTSD”

    Duke !
    Get the footage and Crank the fan servicing.
    It’s a franchise remake !

    Warmup
    Started with the Valve Challenge : SSH until he shows up. Today we made it till about 45. Must have been a slow call night. Plan was to go till 100 or till Lil cuz asked for Goose to distract us with LOTR voices,

    Indian Run w Dropoff for 3 Bobby Hurley with a nod to National pirate day and well I really don’t need an excuse to blare sea shanties.(one of the few musical masterpieces Goose and YHC agree on)
    AB took this time to invent the portmanteau “pirish” and spent the remaining beatdown trying to make it happen and securing ground floor investors.

    Thang 1
    First , the safety.

    Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.
    He loved efficiency , good form and pushing his body to its limits.

    To fully commemorate Royals Naval service we enjoyed
    “Drunken Sailor”
    With plank and merks on “Way Up “and “drunken sailor”

    We were left with a warm feeling in our chest and many non OSHA approved options on how to handle a drunken sailor.

    After his service Mr Burpee became Dr Burpee by attaining his PhD in exercise physiology at Columbia University. His particular field of focus was utilizing simple body movements in a sequence to help the military improve its physical fitness screening.

    So we deconstructed his original fitness test in 7s to help bring home the safe execution of the standard burp.

    7 hand to ground Squats
    14 Groiners
    21 Merk
    28 squat jumps

    With the safety and the history covered we segued into the future of the burpee and its millions of variations with “Peaches” by the Goosey Burpapalooza headliners : Presidents of the US of A.

    *YHC took this intermission to unveil Blue Tube 2.0, the newly modified wearable to make that special conversation with your M a little less awkward.

    Final Thang

    So despite beginning as a simple fitness test, the burpee was now a universally known, highly efficient, highly effective way to improve your cardio and with that super stardom came many variations.
    We would scratch the surface of a few F3 favorites while honoring other non intentional invention’s.

    Burp Trivia
    Correct 4 Reps
    Incorrect 8 reps

    1.) double merkins burpee

    1930 – Ruth Wakefield ran out of bakers chocalate and needed to use Nestle chips for her guests in her Inn, thereby inventing chocolate chip cookies .
    What was the name of the inn?
    (Tollhouse)

    Bearpee

    2.) late 19th century two brothers preparing food for a health spa accidentally left dough out , after its fermentation they sent it through rollers creating large crispy flakes .
    What are the brothers last name?
    (Kellog)

    Double Jump Burpee

    3.) 1943 attending to create a rubber substitute, General Electric engineer James Wright dropped boric acid into silicone oil. What did he create?
    (Silly putty)

    BroPees

    4.) 3M scientist Art Fry
    , frustrated by loose papers in his hymnals at choir practice met white other chemist ti produce what product.

    (Post it notes)

    Kraken Burpee

    5.) created to fill a need for cleaning soot from wallpaper this colored combination of salt, flour and water became what?
    (Play Doh)

    Notes:

    – Switching it up mid burpees and calling Honeysuckle “honey” felt like being in elementary school when you called the teacher “mom” on accident and had to talk to your parents about witness protection.
    – YHC thought these were atleast mildly difficult trivia and the pax gobbled them up like Kobyashi at the Nathan’s. Studs.
    – Several questions were answered almost in unison with Goose and White Meat sprinkling in early confidence. AB waiting in the bullpen like Rivera in the 9th but we never even had to call for the sandman to enter. Oh well , not everyone appreciates Nirvana.

    A few min left at the flag and as always any Burpee history lesson ends with a good tub thumping with Ole Danny Boy !!! We got knocked down , got back up and all were better for it.

    Honeysuckle bequeathed TFW to White Meat for his consistent meatiness this week.

    YHC awarded Blue Tube to Lil Cuz for his timely cardiovascular queries.

    COT
    -Sign up for the BK500 – September 28th
    -Culture Fest 5k – Oct 5
    -Prayers, support for Valve 2.0
    -Barney Fife surgery

    Uncle Ronnie Prayed us out

    Thanks for your effort men
    It’s a joy to lead ya.

    Dox Thumping

    We sing the songs that remind us of the good times (Taco Bell and Pizza Hut?)

    We sing the songs that remind us of the better times (Sandstorm?)

    We drink a whiskey drink
    We drink a vodka drink
    We eat Jimmy John
    We eat a Jersey Mike

    At the end of the day, the truth is I thought music mattered .

    heck I even thought burpees mattered..

    But does it?

    Bollocks!

    Good form or not

    We get knocked down
    We get back up again

    SYITG

    Dox

  • Morning Constitutional – from Popeye

    Constitution Day 2024: A little known day of recognition for the signing of the U.S. Constitution on September 17, 1787.

    YHC felt it was only appropriate to take the PAX back to school for a little quiz on this heralded document in order to verify the citizenship of the group and find out if the trivia nerd thing is doing any good.

    WU:
    SSH
    Slow Hi-Knee
    Windmills
    Side bends
    Arm Circles

    WU2:
    All above with tickets

    Preamble:
    A trip back in time to the schoolhouse that rocks. Schoolhouse Rocks was (is?) the leader in public school indoctrination of the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution back in YHC’s day. This catchy jingle is buried deep in my mind but at the strum of the banjo it instantly is unearthed from 40+ years of other learnings and it’s right there at the tip of my tongue. I know every word. Goose knew every word. Uncanny.
    10 step ups per leg and 10 crunchy frogs for the duration of the Preamble song.

    Quiz:
    #1: How many amendments to the Constitution have been proposed?
    Correct: 10 merks and 1 lap.
    Incorrect: 33 ticket overhead arm claps and 1 lap.
    Score: 0. PAX paid their dues and took the lap.

    #2: How many amendments to the Constitution have been ratified? (Homerians: this means voted on and approved)
    Correct: 5 burpees and 1 lap.
    Incorrect: 27 ticket seal/overhead claps and 1 lap.
    Score: 0. While the close guess of 28 was borderline impressive, it did not meet the standard and there’s no partial credit here.

    #3: Softball starter – Amendments 1-10 are known as what? PAX easily got this correct (thank God, they’re not Taliban).
    Actual question – The 1st Amendment grants what freedoms? The PAX quickly got speech, religion, press, and assembly… but the lesser known freedom is the right to petition the government. I’m here, petition me all you want – the answer was still technically not correct.
    The PAX celebrated their freedom from correct answers by executing mountain climbers with a merk on “free” to the dreadful sounds of “I’m Free” by the Soup Dragons. Worst band name ever? Maybe. Such a bad song that I didn’t even realize that it’s a cover of a Rolling Stones song. Moving on.

    #4: The 26th Amendment was ratified in 1971, what was it? Nobody knew. YHC informed them that it changed the voting age to 18. From what? PAX got this one correct with 21.
    Penalty: 18 ticket curls, 21 ticket overhead press and 1 lap.

    #5: Softball starter – How many Amendments have been repealed? CORRECT – 1.
    Actual question – What Amendment did the 21st Amendment repeal? Surprisingly, the PAX did not correctly answer that the 21st Amendment repealed the 18th Amendment, which was the prohibition of alcohol.
    The PAX enjoyed a BNL tune titled “Alcohol” while performing nonstop Imperial Walkers and knocking out a merkin on each mention of “alcohol.” I wonder if the Canadians who sang this song would have known the answer. Tolerate the song, take a lap.

    #6: What does the 8th Amendment prohibit?
    The PAX was incorrect in their guesses of slavery, Goose was close with some mumble that sounded kinda like due process, but sadly again we were without basic knowledge of the Bill of Rights. The correct answer was that the 8th Amendment prohibits “excessive fines and bail, and cruel and unusual punishment.”
    In honor of this, we took part in some cruel and unusual punishment with 2 rounds of Monkey Humper ring of fire. (note to self, next time start the ring with me, not the guy next to me).

    We were nearing time, but as the PAX knows I enjoy closing out with some planks. I selected 2 songs both titled “Freedom” to which we would hold plank, but due to the lack of Constitutional knowledge, we were forced to listen to the George Michael “Freedom” as opposed to the Rage Against the Machine “Freedom”. 60 second low plank, followed by 30 seconds on each side. Catchy jingle though, probably YJ’s ringtone.

    Time was called and the PAX circled up. Despite YHC’s desire to rid the PAX of the Blue Tube and blame it on FRANCINE, it survived the storm and this unique form of cruel and unusual punishment was awarded to Paradox.
    Intentions: Sign up for the dang BK5000 already. I know we’re last-minute but let’s be a bit less last-minute.
    COT – Prayers for storm recovery and the return of lost sheep to the flock. YHC’s little brother has been a lost soul for 20+ years and is finding a renewed faith – it’s never too late.
    Goose prayed us out.

    Honored to be a part of this crew and further your knowledge as ‘mericans. Hit the books.

  • The (probably not historically accurate) Last Indiana Jones Movie you should Watch – from America’s Best

    YHC arrived (almost) last, just in time for
    Warmarama:
    SSH
    And of course, having finished SSH, here comes the straggler… wait… Honeysuckle?
    Apparently Safety Valve inspires us all in some way or another.
    On to the rest: Windmills,
    The arm bundle: Lafayette Night Clubs, arm circles both ways, cherry pickers
    Mountain Climbers
    Then YHC handed the PAX off to Pope to lead a quick mosey while I grabbed my props.

    Thang One: The Breath of God
    “Only the penitent man shall pass”
    The penitent man is humble, kneels before God. As Indy knelt when the breeze blew through the cave, so would we.
    The theoretical plan: Lunge walk back and forth across the field, and each time there is a breeze, we would do one genuflection.
    The modified plan: Because we live in the doldrums here with no breezes, something else would have to substitute. Taking a page from Smooth Operator, each vehicle that passed would qualify as our breeze.
    That made sense when YHC came up with it last week, as there was no hurricane coming. The coming storm actually gave a bit of a breeze this morning. More importantly, it brought lots more traffic.
    Perfect.
    Oh, also “Listen Like Thieves” by Inxs on the W-King. Also genuflect when you hear “knees.”

    Thang Two: The Name of God. But not really the Name of God. More Like Kinda Like a Name that Got Made into a Name that Some People Might Consider a Moniker of God?
    Ok get ready. Please be patient as your blast goes off on a historical and semantic tangent. . .
    In the film, “the name of God” is said to be “Jehovah” (spelled with an I instead of a J), but apparently this is only an artificial Latinized rendering of the name of God. Some Christians in the Middle Ages combined the consonants in YHWH and the vowels of Adonai (“My Lord”) and somehow came up with Jehovah. Thanks to Goosapedia for this and don’t forget to donate now.
    Sooooo… although technically not correct, this name was created by Christians in the Middle Ages, which according to the film is when the Knights Templar set up this whole thing… I don’t know, but anyway it starts with an “I” also and let’s get back to the Thang here…
    We did 50 Jackhammers to get the letter J out of our system, then ran a Dora-mod for the rest of “Iehova” which at face value was the word Indiana Jones spelled out on the path in the movie.
    I = 100 Imperial Squat Walkers, 100
    E= 150 “El Valvinos” which I decided were SSH. Much less controversial name change here.
    H= 200 Hand Release Merkins
    O= 150 Oh nos (changed to 1=1 mid-stream due to time)
    V= 100 V-ups
    A= 50 Absolutions, but time was called on this first, so that we could get to

    Thang Three: “Only in the leap from the Lion’s Head will he prove his worth.”
    It’s a leap of faith. Something we’ve all taken at some point. It typically results in a stronger faith when you are done. So we took several leaps, having faith that we could do what our bodies said we couldn’t. Which was Broad Jump Burpees to the opposite sidewalk and back. Right about the time Goose and Pope got there, a gracious Q called “recover” and we headed to

    The Final Thang: The Grail Room
    Upon the stage were set several items we associate with F3: A coupon, a ticket, a cone, a pair of gloves, and a coffee thermos. Under each was written an exercise.
    The instructions: Choose one. The first chosen, we will do 40 of whatever is written under it. For the second chosen, we will do 30, then 20, 10, 5.
    Safety Valve volunteered to choose first. And he chose… poorly. But it was perfect. Choosing the false grail, aka the coffee thermos, he gave us Burpees, and 40 would be the number… unless someone could identify the theme of the songs today, in which case I would cut the numbers in half.
    No one could, so we set to burpin’ while YHC prodded the PAX to think, think! (I didn’t want to do 40 burpees). The PAX recounted the songs… Listen Like Thieves… Electric Feel… Brown Sugar… Smells like Teen Spirit… Double Vision…
    Suddenly it clicked (I think with a few, but I heard Goose first) and we reduced our number to 20. Next pick was the ticket, so we did 15 BBS, then several questioned whether the speaker was in play, to which YHC only said “choose wisely.” Of course no one chose the speaker, since it was in the middle of the circle, but that was the final test. Of course under The Wu of Kings it simply said, “You have chosen… wisely.” And that would have been the end.
    But it was time, so it was the end anyway.

    COT
    YHC was humbled as both The Fire within and the BluTube were bestowed upon him. Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out men. Always an honor to lead.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • IPC Stragglers – from Goose

    A few of us had waited till the regular Saturday, Peltch-fest IPC time to crank out the hoagies and grinders, I mean burpees and thrusters. Or, maybe we were grateful for the chance to put it off till the last minute.
    As the expected PAX waded in through the waste deep water, and the rain continued for the fourth straight day, YHC was looking for a place where we could do thrusters in the grass but burpees on the pavement. (Mud burpees are fun, but not if you’re trying to do over 200 for time.) That’s when the last person any of expected to show up showed up. That’s right, Yankee Joe, Mr. Backiotomy himself, pulled up with the Prius’s waterproof battery installed.
    He immediately revealed The Fire Within, and that, combined with YHC’s being clad in Phil the Hurt, Enron’s left-out feelings began to stir. But, hey, there are only three named tank tops to go around, so, you’ll have to wait your turn.
    After a lengthy warmup for maximum back and shoulder loosening, we moseyed to the edge of the playground where the coupon herd awaited us. After some debate about the best combo of mud and pavement, Smooth pointed out that the wooden pylons around the playground made for perfectly spaced stalls for each PAX.
    YHC explained the routine at YJ’s request, revealing that had YJ known what a back-blaster this workout would be, he may not have been so cavalier in jumping back into the fray. But here we were, so suggested modifications were given, the music was cued up, and the tyrannical EMOM timer was unleashed.
    Round 1 was done by all with plenty of confidence, each of us surprised and hopeful at the amount of thrusters we could fit into the 40-ish seconds left after five quick burpees. And that was it—that’s how long the confidence and hope lasted. Round 2 revealed the truth—we were in for a long, awful grind made possible only by the fact that the man next to you wasn’t gonna stop. And the men Wednesday didn’t stop. So, don’t think about how many are left, don’t think about whether you can do it, and definitely don’t take breaks—the loop monster was hot on our heels.
    Enron and Valve were driving each other at a breakneck pace, and Pope was popping burpees like they were side straddle hops. YHC, on the other hand, takes a little longer to throw this long, heavy body around, and after seeing Honeysuckle’s performance on Wednesday and hearing that his thruster form was impeccable throughout, my thrusters would have to be real thrusters. Elbows to knees every time. No man should be left alone in his suffering, and doing that many proper thrusters in under 25 minutes is suffering, no matter how low your resting heart rate is.
    Pope, Enron, and Valve took off on the 400 meter run, but YHC still had a ways to go. YJ and Smooth were courageously sticking with it. Smooth even commented that he was already farther along than he got on Wednesday. What a hoss.
    The numbers kept creeping along, with every thrusters and burpee bought at a high price. They each felt valuable, but there were still so, so many required before the rewards of rest and pride could be attained.
    YHC hoped irrationally that the second half would at least start off a little easier given the recovery mosey and the change up of exercises, but the EMOM thrusters, though doable, did not pair well with the effort to max out burpees. YHC thought maybe shrinking the expectations of how many burpees were actually doable in the time given would bring some relief, but it only meant more thrusters. It was a cruel trap with only one long, agonizing way out.
    Eventually, as with most things in life, the few burpees every minute did actually add up to 100, and it was time to rejoin the land of the living , where people generally have hope and a sense of humor.
    After a needed recovery mosey (once YHC could rise from the ground) it was time for the PAX to take the load off Annie/YJ, so we all took the necessary amount of burpees to get him to 100, and then turned our attention to Smooth. He peacefully let us know that he’d been in a thruster loop for quite a while and felt no pressure to get out of it. It was like watching your friend get slowly eaten by a monster, but he’s like, “It’s ok, brother. These things happen. This isn’t my first, and it won’t be my last.”
    With two minutes left, we did some Hello Dollies and LBC’s in puddles to get us to 7:30, and then it was back to the flag for shirt swapping and COT.
    The Fire Within went to Valve for some cool reason (does anyone even listen to those anymore? Or have the reasons become too arbitrary? Valve noticed this, and brought it to YHC’s attention. It could be anything from a manly performance to a well placed fart. Each named shirt may need some clearly assigned criteria for what earns it. That could get fun.) Smooth earned the new Phil the Hurt by willingly doing IPC twice. Not sure how it’s gonna fit, though.
    YJ prayed us out, and we’re grateful for the 24 hours of not having to think about/
    dread the next one. Yet, somehow, there’s nothing quite like September. Grateful to suffer with you fellas.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The three little pax – from Safety Valve

    It was a beautiful morning. The stars shone bright.
    But, only three little PAX decided to put up a fight.
    Those three little Pax were in fact not so little.
    They all thought they were as mighty as Diddle.

    Pope with his 17, I mean 16, year old endurance.
    Goose there with his unwavering reassurance.
    YHC just trying to keep up with them wondering if he has enough life insurance.

    Dox was ridding his house of Covid.
    While all the others just fartsacked-the-bed.
    AB was neither seen nor smelled.
    Lil Cuz stayed where he dwelled.
    Enron was busy dreaming of crunching some numbers.
    White meat had fallen into a deep slumber.
    Honeysuckle was tending to his hive.
    Yankee Jeaux, are you still alive?

    Those three mighty PAX did great deeds.
    In fact a total of 55 Burpees.
    Three miles they ran by each empty lot.
    Afterwards they completed 55 Goblet squats.
    They continued to push and continued to strive for more successes.
    In the end they did 55 overhead presses.

    #Renewyourvalves
    Funnest beatdown ever… This group is awesome. There will always be at least one person to stand by you. Thank you to Goose and Pope for being those men today. Enjoy the extra day off and the extra time with family. We will get back to work tomorrow.

  • At least the tree was happy – from Honeysuckle

    Today’s story begins before the beginning of the story. YHC robbed AB’s barn of coupons and deposited them near the scout hut prior to the beatdown. YHC took a roundabout way to get to the usual meeting place to make it appear that YHC was traveling directly from home and no prepping had occurred. Four PAX were waiting for YHC as well as the rain to arrive. Only one would make an appearance, unless crying is a type of rain.

    Warmarama

    Most notably, no SSH. Both fast and slow high knees were done, as well as fast and slow high knees. This was in addition to most of the regular exercises though some were forgotten. And counting appeared to be hard for the PAX today.

    Thang 1

    There is a 1/3 mile loop in the grass in Peltier Park, and the PAX did three of these to get started. Then the PAX did about another ¼ mile to get to the place where the coupons were, while discussing and admiring the row of trees. Pope was the first to spot the coupons placed near the base of the last tree.

    Finally remembering why no SSH’s occurred, YHC called an Equalizer starting with 10 count. Then, a pickup truck turned into the parking lot and for a moment we thought it was Valve appearing, right on cue. Upon closer inspection, it was not a Platinum, however. Perhaps white gold, or palladium, or sterling silver.

    Thang 2

    All we needed for a theme was a geometric shape and a bodily effect. Circle of death was already taken this week, so today would be line segments of high heart rate. Numbers weren’t our strong suit today, so the rules were simplified.

    Transport method was a running suicide format with the turnaround points at successive trees. And there are a lot of trees. To keep track of trees, Duke graciously moved a cone to whatever the current tree was. In true gosling form, he was spotted doing LBCs and other exercises while waiting for us to run out to the trees, and even had to remove his shirt at some point.

    The coupons stayed at tree 1. PAX did either 8 thrusters, 8 goblet squats, or 15 curls each time tree 1 was visited (i.e., thrusters to start, then run back and forth, do goblet squats, and so on). At the turnaround tree, 5 air squats were done before heading back every time.
    The first few trees were only a few feet from tree 1. But it didn’t take long until the distances became significant. Was running the break? Was the coupon exercise the break? Ultimately the answer was, where we’re going, we don’t need breaks.

    YHC believes that 18 rounds were done, so each coupon exercise was done for 6 sets, plus 90 air squats.

    The paths that each PAX took were clear from the dew in the grass, but AB’s discipline proved superior as his path was a very tight line.

    To add insult to injury, we all had to run from the remote part of the Peltch back to the flags. The distance covered exceeded 4 miles in total today; well done PAX! With two minutes to spare, Freddy Mercuries and Flutter Kicks were done to complete the hour.

    To come full line segment with our counting issues, Pope declared himself 17 for the day.
    Announcements: clearly the looming IPC, plus the Femmes Natales 1 mi / 5k on 9/14. An upcoming double valve is causing some angst.

    Prayers for babies, people with babies, people expecting babies. Pope, now 16 again, prayed us out.

    I heard it thru the honeysuckle vine: Yeah, maybe that was a bit too much running. Special thanks to Cone 2.0. And as YHC was driving over to load up the coupons, it became apparent that everyone was also going to that spot to help. This group never fails to impress.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Neuron Expanding Recreational Fun – from Paradox

    YHC has always been fascinated by what the human body can do under extreme pressure. YHC recently listened to a podcast interview of Cole Hocker, and he described basically blacking out on the last leg of his crazy gold medal 1500m finish. WILD right? But it got me to thanking. What could our “slightly less than gold medal track athlete” pax perform when given the right pressure.

    Early this year, AB introduced a paradigm shifting beatdown based on the fact that everyone knows an unhealthy amount of information about at least 1 or 2 topics. Sometimes, ashamedly so. It hooked several pax into the Learned Llama multiverse you see today plus introduced a new wrinkle to an already strong group of exercise/trivia pioneers. YHC has been tinkering with alternate versions of it since and below is the result.

    So here’s how the game works.
    YHC names an exercise for each round then Pax will Hold Al Gore around an ominous coupon pile.

    YHC will then name a list of words one by one with a few seconds in between for thanking.

    Your goal is to name the common factor of the list as fast as possible.
    You will get one shot per pax , if you are incorrect you will start SSH (later ti be converted to burps) until the round is over.
    If correct then we will stop on that round and do the corresponding reps (after 1 -10 reps , 2-20 etc)

    Example

    Brown (10) ….Black(20) …paddington (30) Polar (40) … Grizzly (50) … all bears and you have an increasing chance at getting the correct association but as options increase so do the reps.

    Duke!
    Glove up, summers over and we got some iron to sharpen!

    Standard warmup with that big Pax energy when several cars roll up at once that makes YHC all warm and fuzzy inside.

    We started where the Bible begins and most friendships end…with the members of Genesis.

    1.) Tony Banks
    2.) Mike Rutherford
    3.) Phil Collins
    4.) Peter Gabriel

    Early guesses at drummers but we went 30 Reps and there were grumbles that sounded an a lot like Sussidio.

    National Parks (Star Jumps)
    1. Teddy Roosevelt
    2. Glacier
    3. Arches
    4. Grand Canyon
    5. Yosemite

    AB flashing his generational trivia talent and we took 20 reps.

    Army Bases w “Fort” at the beginning (HR Merkins)

    1.) Campbell
    2.) Carson
    3.) Detrick
    4.) Bragg
    5.) Hood

    Had this loaded for Pop and he didn’t dissapoint with the early answer for 20 reps.

    Speed Skaters (Bonnie Blair’s )
    1.) johan olav Koss
    2.) Eric Heiden
    3.) JR Celski
    4.) Apollo Ohno
    5.) Bonnie Blair

    This one went deep for 40

    Pokémon (Coupon Curls )

    1.) Spearow
    2.) Pidgey
    3.) Weedle
    4.) Charizard
    5.) Pikachu

    Lil Cuz with the performance of the day. He blamed his 2.0 toy pile but we all know he’s got dat Arcanine in him.

    Satellites (Goblet Squats )
    1.) Terra
    2.) Aqua
    3.) LandSat8
    4.) Explorer 1
    5.) Sputnik

    40 Reps
    Not a peep from our resident beekeeper.
    The man just likes others to improve I guess.

    GI Joe (Ranger Merkins)
    1.) Roadblock
    2.) Shipwreck
    3.) Zartan
    4.) Duke
    5.) Snake Eyes

    30 reps
    Knowing is half the battle.
    Ranger Merkins are the rest.

    Members of *NSYNC (Apollo Ohnos)
    1.) Chris
    2.) Joey
    3.) JC
    4.) Lance
    5.) Justin

    TANA!!!!
    From the rafters the Peoples Rep saved the pax from atleast 20 extra Ohnos until we got to JT.

    Vice Presidents (box jumps)
    1.) James S Sherman
    2.) Levi P Morton
    3.) elbridge Gerry
    4.) John C Calhoun
    5.) dick Cheney

    40 box jumps were contended by pope who reported a whispered correct answer so we split the difference and did 25. Complex numbers are my thing.

    Triple Crown Winners (Carolina Dry Dox)

    1.) Omaha
    2.) Gallant Fox
    3.) Seattle Slew
    4.) American Pharoah
    5.) Secretariat

    30 Reps as Maneater started to heat up.

    CMM (Thrusters)
    1.) Birdman
    2.) Turk
    3.) BG
    4.) Manny Fresh
    5.) Lil Wayne

    Maneater again
    He’s On Fire!

    Heisman trophy winners ( Merkins )
    1.) Jay Berwanger
    2.) Billy Sims
    3.) Steve Spurrier
    4.) Desmond Howard
    5.) Tim Tebow

    A few chuckles at Wanger but then HS got down to business and ID’d spurrier as a champion.
    30 reps.

    Bankrupt Companies
    (Decline Merkins)

    1.) pacific gas and electric company
    2.) Washington mutual
    3.) Silicon Valley Bank
    4.) Lehman brothers
    5.) Enron

    30 reps as mutiple pax supplied this one.

    DDay Beaches – WW3 sit-ups

    1.) Sword
    2.) Gold
    3.) Juno
    4.) Utah
    5.) Omaha

    Pope/Pop are a force of military history to be reckoned with.

    Van Gohg paintings (Thrusters)
    1.) The potato eaters
    2.) almond blossoms
    3.) cafe terrace at night
    4.) self portrait w bandaged ear
    5.) starry night

    40 Reps to finish us out but these larks were saved by the bell.

    COT and Prayer intentions
    HS prayed us out

    Amazing seeing the collective pax mind under pressure. The hidden talents of this group never cease to amaze YHC.

    Thanks for the privilege to lead.

    -A Dox of Chocolates

    Imagine you are one of 86 billion brain cells. All with important tasks for sending and receiving messages at 100 meters/second. The capability to solve complex formulas, write ballads , or serve your fellow man awaits at a moments notice. Butttt instead you only get one assignment. Just once in 40 years you will be asked to associate the memory of two random NSYNC band members and It will save many men from coupon thruster destruction.

    “Bye, bye, bye” you whisper when the job is complete, then you return to brain cell retirement singing Kokomo at random intervals.

    No Neuron left behind.
    But leave no Neuron where you found him.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Bringing Force to the Balance – from America’s Best

    YHC almost fell into the shower the other day. The strength and balance to not fall on my face was attributed to F3, and so YHC decided to focus on balance for this beatdown.

    Warmarama preceded by a half-fast disclaimer for the FNG.
    SSH, Windmills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, mountain climbers, cherry pickers, self love, not in this order.

    Thang Number One: Modified Dora

    150 coupon curls while partner bear-crawls out and moseys back. Each time a partner begins the curls, however, he must first do 4 standing on the left leg, then 4 on the right leg.

    150 Prime-Time Merkins, as the partner murder-bunnies out and rifle carries back. All of the merkins should have been alternating feet, but some of the PAX proved themselves Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Players and only did the first 8 as such.

    250 Air Squats, again with the first 8 on one leg only. Partner takes a lap.

    As punishment for merkin malfeasance, the PAX took a quick mosey/nur before:

    Thang Number Two: Balancing Bedlam–>Joe Cocker–>Wreck it Ralph

    PAX circles two bricks. One man balances one foot on a brick in the center, leaning over to pick up a second brick, then puts it back. During this, the remaining PAX in the circle are holding Mission Impossible. Every time the man on the brick touches the ground, all do a Ranger Merkin.
    (Change the middle man each time, alternating in Al Gore with Bobby Hurleys, and standard plank with standard merkins. Repeato.)

    During each round, about one minute of a song plays, and once that minute is up, the PAX guess the year it was released. The difference between their guess and the actual year is the number of Burpees we all get to do. [EDIT: In an effort to further game-ify (confuse), YHC decided that we would also subtract the number of times the man in the middle picked up the brick, then use the absolute value of that for our number of Burpees. This led to absolutely no strategic changes, as everyone still tried to pick up the brick as many times as possible. These guys are competitive!]
    A second trivia element was also woven in, as all the songs had a common theme. Guess that theme, and we would cut the number of Burpees in half (wrong answers would double them). Maneater provided the correct answer (bands have color in the name) around round 4, but since it was AFTER we had done the burpees for that round, YHC ignored it until the next round.
    Takeaways: As expected, Honeysuckle’s internal gyroscope was activated and he demonstrated the greatest balance. Enron kept his balance surprisingly well, and provided an uncanny Joe Cocker impression when he did fall. The PAX in general did very well on guessing year, but it didn’t matter, because math.
    YHC was undisputedly the worst at balancing, going full Mario and breaking the brick, signifying the end of the beatdown.

    COT
    In spite of avoiding eye contact with Goose, Wet Tap earned the Blue Tube.
    FNG became ShamWow.
    Safety Valve Prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Life to the MAX – from Paradox

    Facts only:

    It would be super duper to have an FNG visit from Poland.

    And if that FNG posted every day on his vacation, pretty Rad as well.

    Could we name him after a nerd scientist with big BIG ideas .
    For certain.

    But What if I told you (switch to Morpheus voice )
    What If I told you, that an FNG from Poland closely connected to one of our own posted all week long through ridiculous IPC preps with a huge smile on his face ?

    And I hope now that you are nice and lathered up and your Garmin is recording …because what if one of those same days was actually a feast day for one of the greatest Polish Saints in history ?!

    These were the facts in Aug 15 2024 and 10 pax were present at the Den to share the labor.

    Grab that red pill and come on in!

    Duke! Get the Coups
    It’s IPC prepppp

    FACTS:
    St Max Kolbe was a Catholic polish priest who lived from 1894 to 1941.
    Known as the Saint of Aushwitz
    He died on August 14 1941 volunteering to exchange his life for another prisoner.

    Those are the facts for this beatdown men.
    I’ll spare the usual dox fluff (just this once) and encourage you to dig more on this Saints incredible life of sacrifice.

    Each round :
    Reps : 10, 9, 8 …etc to 1
    MOT in between varies

    We kept it simple
    Each round for a rule of life for St Kolbe.

    1. Devotion to our lady at an early age

    Purity – no cheat merkins
    MOT bearcrawl

    2.) Take care of your body in order for our body’s to better be able to glorify and serve God and others.

    **As a Friar- he founded one of the largest Franciscan orders of his age
    Devoted to exercise he was diligent about starting the day with mutiple rounds of jumping jacks. Seems like a man who loved SSHs and being in time. YHC wishes he had more neighbors like this …

    SSH and Karaoke

    3.) Worked hard to spread the gospel by all means necessary
    Radio, magazine , theater etc

    Coupon Squats and coupon Lunges

    All of a sudden you could hear every cricket at the Den

    4.) We need strong men trained in the faith.
    Militia Immaculate
    Rifle Carry and Overhead Press

    5.) We have a mission to Carry Faith Abroad-
    Setup community in Nagasaki
    Burpees and Broad Jumps

    6.) Growth toward Ultimate Sacrifice

    53 merkins for 53 years that Franciszek Gawoniczek lived after St Kolbe gave up his life for him.

    COT and tremendous gratitude to Copernicus for showing up all week. Thank you for sharing your story and the suffering with us. We hope you made it through customs with all that F3 swag.

    St Kolbe , pray for us !

    SYITG
    Dox