F3 New Orleans

Tag: Honeysuckle

  • Glory Hogs – from Goose

    It was Day 2 of finding creative ways to rack up a ton of points in the Jurptober By-You Spreadsheet Challenge, so before it gets old, YHC decided to fill this beatdown with valuable exercises.

    As YHC and Pope parked in a relatively empty parking lot, we wondered if it’d be slim pickins for what YHC hoped would be an exciting challenge. But, AB quickly pulled up, and then Hypotenuse emerged from a truck that has not yet imprinted itself on YHC’s PAX radar. Then, thankfully, six more dudes flowed in, Honeysuckle wearing a new shirt that embodies the spirit of F3–it says “Honeysuckle” below a graphic from what looks to be an album cover from the early 70’s. Upon questioning, he revealed that Honeysuckle was/is in fact a band, but that no further details are known. By anyone.

    YHC was struck by the fact that, besides Smooth and Pope, this group was a totally different group than the one that posted yesterday morning. It’s awesome to see that we’re up to enough guys to have solid numbers despite the fact that people don’t typically post every day. But, it also meant that only the three of us would benefit from multiple days this week of jacked up beatdown points. So be it.

    After a warmup of the usuals, up to the full 20 reps since YHC is getting old, we moseyed to get coupons. Upon returning, the coupons were placed in the middle of the field so as to outline a square, about 10 yards across. After the needed two rounds of Jurps OYO, the square became a professional wrestling ring and the PAX partnered up for a Tag Team Royal Rumble. Here’s the rules:
    While Partner 1 cranked out a given exercise in the ring until he needed a break, Partner 2 ran around the track waiting to be tagged in. Exercises changed every five minutes. Men in the ring weren’t allowed to take breaks or rest–if you needed to stop/take a break, you had to run to your partner and tag him in. The Partner 2 got the chance to earn points while the timer ticked and famous “tag team” musical duos rocked the field via the power of Oontz (he did pretty well sitting up on top of a coupons).

    The exercises were: burpees, V-ups, merkins, Bonnie Blairs, Big Boi Situps, and curls. And, just like in professional wrestling, the glory only goes to the one in the ring, and though the Q clearly stated that there was to be no resting in the ring, there were still some glory hogs who seemed to be bent on intentionally robbing their partners of the opportunity to shine. This may have been because partners weren’t on the same Jurpee teams, or because of Oontz’s ability to drive men’s hearts with clarity and bass. it may have also been the quality of YHC’s Tag Team playlist, which expertly combined songs like “Whoomp, There it Is” by Tag Team, “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel, and “Think About It” by Flight of the Conchords specifically to invoke the greatest possible interior response and enhance the brain’s capacity to log multiple numbers while continuing to count new reps and laps around the track (8 times = a mile). Nothing syncs the neurons like Kriss Kross followed immediately by the Dooby Brothers.

    When the sugar plant whistle blew at 6:00 (that’ll be a nice way to keep time for a few months), every man did his best to repeat his numbers in his foggy mind so they didn’t float away with the cool breeze. Circled up, counted off, Animal went to Cardinal (where it will likely hibernate for the winter), and Honeysuckle prayed us out.
    After prayer, a number of the PAX ran a few more laps to get finish out the second mile, and then we trickled out of the parking lot. Awesome work this morning, fellas! Y’all make it worth the effort!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Prost! An Oktoberfest Origin Story – from Yankee Joe

    The year is 1976. A piercing cry breaks through the pre-dawn gloom of the small hamlet in West Germany.

    “Nein, Frau Best, it’s ok… he’s supposed to look like that…”

    After several hours of counseling and education that you cannot “trade in” a baby, the young mother finally concedes. She brings the youngling home, hoping to place him in a side show or perhaps a “world’s hairiest baby” contest.

    A few months pass, and (as per German tradition) the infant is abandoned in the Black Forest with only a six-pack of Bitburger Pils.
    The memories of that youngling’s first year of life in that forest, memories only of beer, bears, and pain, fueled this morning’s beatdown. . .

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Toy soldiers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Butt kicks
    High knees
    Self love

    Mosey to the truck to pick up “Brew-pons”.

    Thang 1:
    German Volumetric Training (or YHC’s bastardization if it)
    10 exercises, 10 reps each. All Merkins, all the time
    In some particular order:
    Fingertip Merkins
    Diamond Merkins
    Crucible Merkins
    Sphinx Merkins (2=1)
    Man maker Merkins (2=1)
    Knurkins
    Creature Merkins (2=1)
    Superman Merkins
    Derkins
    Merkins

    (Aside: a German Merkin is a Gherkin, which is a small pickle. Nobody wants that.)

    Goose absolutely killed this, figuring out where the Merkin stations were as well as physically destroying the reps.
    YHC forgot where station 2 was, and self penalized himself with an extra set of Diamond merkins.
    And there was much grunting.

    Thang 1.5:
    Bear Crawl to Berlin. And back.
    Smooth Operator displayed superhuman ability here. Defying physics, he somehow bear-crawled downhill while on level ground.

    Thang 2:
    Make it Stop: Oktoberfest

    We began with WWIII sit-ups while German-language or German-centric songs play. Anyone who can identify the song, Artist, album, or year released, gets to change the exercise.
    Goose showed unprecedented music prowess by nailing both “Major Tom” and “Rock Me Amadeus” correctly (in spite of YHC erroneously thinking it was simply called “Amadeus”).
    Honeysuckle, the usual ringer for music knowledge, displayed his patriotism here by refusing to identity any of die Musik.
    Also, apparently every popular German language song was released in 1983. And who knew Lou Bega was from Munich?

    (Paradiddle’s contribution during this phase of the beatdown, while significant, consisted solely of gas and giggles.)

    Final Thang: Stein hold

    Brewpons are held out at chest level, Bruce Lee-style, emulating the traditional Oktoberfest Steinholding competition.
    ‘Lil Cuz won, reinforcing his steadfast love for his brewpon.

    GG to Paradiddle for reasons obvious to all.

    Brewpons to go.

    Cardinal prayed us out.

    Epilogue:

    The youngling, nourished on hops and barley, and fortified by merkins, emerges from the depths of the forest.
    Bear-crawling a few meters further, it rises up on its now-ample haunches, howling, “Ich bin Deuchlands Besten!”

  • Boot Scootin’ Goosies – from Paradox

    Theres one singular event that universally strikes fear in the hearts of men. A rite of passage complete with every potential fear being confronted. A desolate wasteland where fortune favors the bold and one misstep can leave you cemented into a hall of shame . You’ve all passed through it and been forged by the fires of ..the middle school dance.

    But there IS one tool at your disposal . One shining sword for the gangly awkward youth entangled in this hormonal warfare. You’ve all seen this familiar setup. It’s the 7th grade dance and opposite genders have receded to their corners in the dance floor. The air is heavy with axe body spray. If you were like YHC , you hoped the Hollister shirt and puca shell necklace were enough distraction to overcome a genetic lack of rhythm. The dj eyes the empty dance floor ,madly spinning tracks to light the fire and then he finds it …

    …The participation song!

    Cupid shuffle ..
    The locomotion ..
    Electric slide ..
    They all accomplish the same goal.

    Like a flame thrower to dry kindling one kid joins, then another and as long as you are following the instructions loosely there’s a certain freedom from severe judgement that allows the dancing to begin.

    These songs have saved countless male youths from the embarrassment of freestyle dancing and during my recent midnight baby burping sessions I uncovered this lucrative treasure trove of F3 enterpainment.

    So with the fresh Jurpee routine in mind and a few songs in my heart YHC made a stage comeback with 10 other high impact men. A crisp bayou fall met them in the gloom and the stage was set.
    Today we salute the participation song.

    Duke ! Dukeeee!!!!
    Hold these diapers and Roll the bean footage !

    Warmup
    Standard issue with Tana literally side straddle hopping across the circle. His verbal insubordination overflowing into interpretive dance as if he could preemptively feel todays theme. You can only hope to contain him at this point.

    Warmup Thang

    Jurpee Mile-ish

    Saddled up for the well warn path of the rich man loop mile with stops for a segmented jurpee. We helped some pax in the senior divisions remember where all the stops were and YHC dialed up all the classics with JBL cranked to the level of “HoA concerns”. The air was cool and mannnn I’ve missed you guys.

    (Tana keeping a Kenyan marathon pace, ya love to see it. The legendary transformation continues )

    We did :
    1- tempo sqats/20 groiners
    2- 20 merkins/20 groiners
    3- 20 jump sqats
    4- 20 LBC/leg raise

    Then grabbed come coupons for the :

    Main Thang a Lang

    4 songs to represent the transcendent nature of the participation songs across genres, live events, generations and continents.

    1. ) Boot scootin boogie
    2 Apollo ono plus 2 goosie on “ Boot scoot”
    Coupon “2 step” on duration of song.
    From now until eternity we will call them Boot Scootin Goosies and I can’t decide if that sounds more like a firework from Joe Dirt or a station for next years SV500.

    Trivia : what are the first names of brooks and Dunn?
    The pax had this one down cold even with YHCs brain glitches trying to find the word artist. Also from Shreveport just like Ronnie Lillich !

    Track refresh mosey

    2. Time for da hip hop- Tootsie Roll
    (Was really hoping for a Popeye post here. Have a feeling he’s done 9000 tootsie rolls )

    We did :
    Donkey kick on T roll
    Right Peter Parker
    Left Parker
    Slide – side reach
    Whoop plank Jack
    Trivia – Artist? : 69 boys (great jurpee team name )
    I had a feeling this would be right in America’s Bests wheelhouse. with some prompting he took a minute off the pain. Goose showed signs of the move itself and YHC fought the temptation to let him tootsie roll for 5 minutes while we did kraken burpees.

    3. Da community -YMCA

    Y styled windmills on song
    4 merkins on YMCA
    Jump squat on “young man”

    Fun fact: The original YMCA arm motions appeared on this popular musical show in 1979. (American bandstand)

    4. International- Gangnam style
    Coupon side shuffle
    Thruster on Gangnam style

    YHC introduced this one and had the desired response of crickets, wind, and Goose asking Enron if it was 6am yet. I’ve sorely missed that unique smell of fear and adrenaline.

    YJ correctly named psy as the artist then insisted someone be appointed as the oogler so we would be music video accurate. Unfortunately by this point all the pax had gone to the dark place that thrusters create after a month of IPC and his request faded into old man grumbles about deleted cells.

    So now you have the dance party fully rolling the only thing you have left to focus on is learning your partners rhythm and footwork.

    So we partnered up (1 thruple)
    For a Double Indian run with 3 partner hi 5 burpees to corner on Richmans loop till everyone had one round.
    Honeysuckle did honeysuckle things and set a sub7 pace while we watched in awe. I can’t tell if it’s sleep deprivation but I swear his legs blur like road runner in the ole Wiley Coyote bits.

    We finished with a thrilling rendition of Rah Rah JaBurpee. Tennis ball can only be advanced with feet. One burpee after kicking. Beautiful chaos ensued and we lost two good soldier tennis balls in the field. No clear winner from YHCs point of view but I saw Ronnie diving under a truck after a ball near the finish line so I’ll give an A for effort.
    Jeaux continued to run headlong into the distance. Said he just needed to think about a grown man not being able to work Google sheets.
    Folks in the Oaks say he’s still running…

    Count them up
    Name them off

    Announcements:

    T- claps to Hypotenuse for multiple posts and suffering through my lack of hand eye coordination.

    Honeysuckle VQ!!!
    Thursday at the Den
    Get your running shoes ladies!

    Invigor8 Grant next Tues 10/10 at 7pm (link below)
    Possible $10k is up for grabs to the St Vincent pharmacy.

    https://facebook.com/events/s/invigor8-live/1909647176102809/

    COT and YJ prayed us out

    Men I’ve been overwhelmed by the support y’all have shown my family during our new baby days. The baby/work/school/home routines are in a tornado of a transitions right now and we are just hanging in. Great to have y’all linking shields in support and prayer.

    Epilogue

    One jurpee
    Two jurpee
    Red jurpee
    Blue jurpee

    You can do it on a rope
    You can do it with a Pope
    You can try it with a Goose
    Or measure your hypotenuse
    Tana jurps on his strain quest
    Honeysuckles uses it as rest
    AB is jurping till hes fifty
    Ronnie’s jurping till his knees are shifty
    Bud light jurping, call it Dilly Dilly
    Poor jurp form, that’s really silly
    Jurptober is all about the basics
    Valvelines jurping till he needs lasix
    At a jurp party you’re never late
    Jeauxs been jurpin since 78!

    Jurp low jurp high
    Jurp loud jurp shy

    Jurp your best jurp along with another
    As iron sharpens iron, one sharpens his brother

    SYITG
    ParaDr Seuss

  • Age Isn’t Just A Number (In F3, It’s Just The Next Thang) – from Yankee Joe

    Twelve phenomenal men posted this morning at The Lion’s Den. The word “phenomenal” is being used here for its literal meaning. Twelve men, voluntarily, in the face of poorly designed insanity, threw themselve into an experience that promised to leave them frustrated, breathless, nauseated, and perhaps needing a clean pair of draws’. With ages spanning from 15 (hate, hate) to 47 (respect), these beasts choose to do this four times per week. Wouldn’t you describe the scene as a phenomenon?

    YHC turned 45 the day before. St. Vincent, pray for us. Less about commemorating the occasion (YHC doesn’t actually care…he’s forgotten his own birthday not once, but multiple times ), this morning’s beatdown was more a result of YHC’s creative beatdown juices being dried up. 45 seemed like a solid number to manufacture some good ‘ol fashion stupidity in Hurtsville, USA. Of course, since we all know 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, it was tempting to hitchhike my way through the Exicon. However, that would have required some effort.

    So, twelve men showed up to The Den. Well, eleven at first. Diddle, living out his own self-fulfilling prophecy, rolled in a minute late as he predicted. As alluded to above, today’s version of the beatdown was not particularly well designed. It’s got potential, and maybe one day can serve as a one-off F3 Thibodaux IPC. 45 exercises over a 35-minute period is crazy enough. Including Man Makers and Redrum Bunnies in the mix made it nearly impossible. No problem…impossible is a concept that only misguided pickleballers have to grapple with.

    The format was made up of nine rounds, five exercises per each round, and 25 reps per exercise where applicable. In all, if one were to complete the circuit, he would pull off 800 total reps, 180 yards (45-yd increments) of MOT work (i.e. murder bunnies, bear crawl, etc.), and nine 90-yard sprints (.45 mile). Beatdown instructions were printed out for each man, complete with sheet protectors. How can anyone not be hot for teacher?The breakdown is included at the end of the blast.

    As we started, YHC forgot to mention the rep count, along with a few other details. However, that ‘phenomenon’ kicked into gear, and the men…well…just started doing the stuff. Even in the Gloom, YHC could see Popeye’s eyes narrow and his brows furrow. He seemed driven by an inhuman stamina and perseverance that can only be achieved by UT football fans post Vince Young…circa 2005…yikes! Of course, it’s not crazy to think the drought could end this year.

    All the men lined up across The Den sidewalk. Honeysuckle, continues to confound others with his unfazed, calmly content face prior to a beatdown. It’s like he’s thinking… “awww…this is a nice little workout.” When you’ve run 50+ miles in a day, I suppose these get togethers do look quaint. YHC was also grateful to be next to America’s Best, who in turn, had to explain that a ‘no-cheat merkin included shoulder taps AND a hand release. This made the shoulder tap merkins in the subsequent round take on a whole new level of suck. For YHC, this may have been the beginning of the end. YHC’s shoulders were toast after Round 3, never to recover.

    At the start of the beatdown, someone yelled, “Where’s the music?” YHC didn’t have a better answer than, “I want you to be alone in your suffering.” First of all, who says something like that? Second, why the hell didn’t I set up music? Regardless, Smooth Operator responded with his famous, “Okayyy,” which by now has become about the most positive and authentic endorsement a Q can hope for. Wet Tap, as expected was drooling on the beatdown instructions thinking about all of the coupon work. That’s why sheet protectors were used, by the way.

    As the shenanigans began, Goose, Enron, and Diddle were off to the races. Diddle was unfairly propelled by his apparent IBS, but stayed consistent throughout. As Goose started to edge ahead of the rest of us, YHC realized Pope was edging ahead and STAYING ahead of his Goosely father. I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Pope, at 15 years of age, was throwing up thrusters and man makers with an official, grown man cindy. Can you imagine a Pope with 30 years of F3 under his belt? Drago won’t be worthy of holding his jockstrap (Do people wear jockstraps any more?).

    Later on, Enron audibly exclaimed, “Noooooooo” during Round 4 upon realizing the 19th exercise (yes, the 19th) was a 25-count of Thrusters. Since YHC has quite literally never heard Enron complain, I knew significant design flaws were present. Safety Valve, demonstrating his new found love for pain, reminded me of a guy named Paradox. Never say die. No gaps. Hypotenuse, by now, appears to have accepted the insanity of this cul…I mean free men’s workout club. I’m predicting a VQ by late October.

    In the end, YHC barely made it into Round 6, though if you consider quality of form, he never made it out of Round 2. Most of the PAX reached Round 5 or beyond. Pope and Goose both made it to Stagger Merkins in Round 7. It was hotly contested, who ultimately won between father and son, but the rest of the PAX knows the truth: Drago’s menu had just been expanded to include Charbroiled Goose.

    COT and Pope prayed us out. We continue lifting prayers up to Smooth and his family as well as chapter of life transitions.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ——————————————–

    Why The Phenomenon Matters

    As a kid, I thought my Dad was invincible. A mult-tour combat veteran, he was trim and seemed to have superhuman strength. The fact that he smoked three packs of Marlboro Reds per day only seemed to make him more of a specimen. When I was 12 years old, in an attempt to be more involved, he got certified as a baseball umpire and soccer referee. For the latter, it required getting into some form of shape. I remember how hard it was for him just to run up and down the sideline during a game. He did it nevertheless and got into pretty decent shape. After that soccer season, he promptly retired from his refereeing days, never to approach any form of exercise again. The thing is, all the Dads in the neighborhood were like that. Most smoked and NONE of them “worked out” outside of a random jog occasionally.

    I remember clearly thinking that “once you got to be a Dad, being in shape was off the table.” That year, my dad was 42.
    ———————————————-

    During my late twenties, I used to jog and lift weights quasi regularly…just enough to maintain some respectable level of athleticism. Then I watched 300 and P90X started trending. I ran alone, lifted alone, and P90Xed alone. Like most of the bros in my circle, I’d get into working out hard core for six months, get into awesome shape, then hardcore fall off the wagon.

    I remember clearly thinking I’ve got a few more years of this and then I’ll be too old to be in really good shape. I was 28.
    ———————————————

    In 2019, I moved our family from New Orleans to Thibodaux. I weighed 230 lbs. I hadn’t seriously worked out in years. I set resolutions almost every first of the month. Each New Year’s Day, I was like, “This is the year.” When the pandemic hit, we bought a Peloton. I rode the pedals off that shiz for a year. I lost 25 lbs. When we evacuated for Ida, I missed a day, then missed a week, then a month, then almost two years. I weighed 230 lbs once again.

    I remember clearly thinking, I’ve finally reached that place where my Dad was. This is it. I was 42.
    ——————————————-

    In March of 2022, a dude named Micah reached out. Texted something like, “Hey Man. Heard you might be interested in F3. We meet this Saturday at 6:30 at Peltier Park. Would love to have you.” I knew he was a financial advisor. He was probably one of those guys who thinks he’s “the smartest guy in the room” and wants to live in Houston. I showed up anyway. I’ve lost 30 lbs. I’m, quite literally, in the best shape of my life…physically, mentally, and spiritually.

    When he’s 12 years old, my son is going to remember clearly thinking “once you get to be a Dad, you get to be Superman.” That year, I’ll be 52.

  • Free Solo by America’s Best – from Yankee Joe

    YHC needed an idea. A really, really good idea. This PAX has set the bar high with their beatdowns.
    This thang needs to be interesting without being too confusing. And not too easy, but not impossible (although experience tells YHC to err on the side of impossible).
    Having not led any kind of workout in decades, YHC tried to harken back to his younger years. What was it we used to say? YHC searched the catacombs of his antiquated mind… phrases came flooding back. Things like, “Lift with your back, not with your legs!” “Pivot!” and “Avoid the Noid!”
    YHC quickly realized he should try and fill the space with music rather than any of his own chatter. And the idea for “Free Solo” was born.

    Warmarama:
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Self Love
    Mountain Man Poopers (added for the theme, maybe never done by most; of course, Goose made it look like he does them daily)

    The Thang: “Free Solo”

    Free Solo climbing is rockclimbing alone using no climbing gear: no rope or harness, no carabiners, no pins. “No rope, no rack.” For the purposes of this beatdown, our “gear” is our coupon.

    Get Free by naming the Solo. YHC curated a song list, with each song chosen specifically for one PAX member. As we performed an exercise, it was the PAX’s responsibility to figure out what song the solo is from, as well as who the song was chosen for. 3 outcomes are possible:
    1. You ID the solo curated for you, and the PAX is entirely FREE to “climb” the 15-20 yards without their gear (coupon). Bear Crawl up, lunge walk back, everyone without the coupons.
    2. Someone else ID’s your solo for you, and only they free solo; everyone else hauls their coupon (bear block crawl up, lunge walk back).
    3. No one ID’s the solo, and everyone takes their “ropes and rack” (Coupon)—Murder bunny up, rifle carry back. When you get back, continue the exercise until everyone is back AND someone can ID the song, artist, and who it is for as the entire song plays.

    Solo 1 – as we began with (what else) Mountain climbers, we heard the solo from Dire Strait’s Money for Nothing. Unfortunately, Enron may have been able to ID his solo, but not yet understanding the rules, Yankee Joe called it early, and (accidentally) saved only himself from the coupon.
    Solo 2 – Merkins while we heard the smooth sounds of Sade… unfortunately Smooth Operator was unable to ID Smooth Operator (come on! Know thyself, Grasshopper!). But someone did (Enron and/or Goose), and the rest of us hauled our gear up the mountain again.
    Solo 3 – I felt fairly certain nobody would guess this solo. Honeysuckle, however, displayed his serious music chops and ID’d “Hungersite” by Goose pretty quickly. HS likely would have nailed a few more but was hindered by his position far from the TurtBox
    Solo 4- Yankee Joe did stellar job acting like he didn’t recognize the song that I’m fairly certain in he listens to on repeat in his car before every class. In fact, nobody recognized the solo from Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” and we all murder bunnied as deserving punishment.
    Solo 5- Pope finally saved us all, identifying his solo from “Baba O’Reilly.” Goose responded in classic Dad fashion, missing his son’s victory. Everyone finally got to “free climb.”
    Solo 6 – At this point, YHC’s mind was focused more on survival than memory, but I don’t think anyone ID’d Tom Petty’s “Learning to Fly” during the solo. Safety Valve may have had similar mental focus, as he almost didn’t realize it was for him.
    Solo 7 – Other than YCH, Nobody knows this song. Probably nobody knows this band. “Honeysuckle Blue” by Drivin’ and Cryin’ had us all murder bunnying again, and doing V-ups until we all hated the song even more.
    Solo 8- YHC was stoked to see Hypotenuse show up, and add his song to the playlist. Nobody ID’d it during the solo, but as we rifled-carried back, Goose called it to save us from more Burpees. “Triangle Man hates “Particle Man’” and he hates more burpees.
    Solo 9- Seems like Michelin should have gotten partial credit for this. I mean, the guitar solo in “Beat It” is almost identical to the solo in “Eat It.” But partial credit is for snowflakes in liberal arts schools, so we continued to beat ourselves down.

    Free Solo OT – The Summit
    With everyone’s solo accounted for, and with 5 minutes left, we went into the lightning round.
    Wolverines until someone can identify the (mountain themed) song OR artist, and then they can change the exercise

    Song 1 – Mountain Sound by Of Monsters and Men. Yankee Joe displayed his scholarly acumen by naming a Steinbeck novel instead of the Icelandic indie band, but he finally corrected himself and we switched to LBCs.
    Song 2- “Mountain in the Way?” “Mountain’s are so gay?” “Mountain here Today?” There was just no deciphering the lyric “Mountain at my Gates” by Foals.
    Song 3- Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains). YHC’s fatigue at this point is physical but also due to psychological grief at the lack of music knowledge this morning. Goose almost had it, but the PAX chatter over the lyrics stymied him.
    More Chatter = More Chilcuts.

    Time was up. As we trudged back to the flag, the only sounds were the far cry of that rooster, and Smooth Operator’s declaration, “Your music sucks!”
    Good! Use your aggressive feelings, Smooth. Let the hate flow through you!

    Other than that, Free Solo had nothing to do with Return of the Jedi.

    Goose prayed us out.

  • Better together – from Safety Valve

    Today was the day. IPC week 3 on a Saturday morning at the Peltch. On paper it seemed a daunting task. But that’s just life isn’t it. Sometimes it’s sweet and a breeze. Sometimes it’s tougher than we think we can deal with and overwhelming. Looking back on challenging times in my own life, in the heat of the moment, it seemed as if YHC would never make it through. Now in retrospect, YHC made it through those tough times because of the people that surrounded me. The same can be said about week 3 IPC.

    After a short mosey to the tennis court at the Peltch, and some mild confusion for Diddle, we began.

    Warmaramma
    Side straddle hops
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    High knees
    Butt kicks
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers

    The Thang

    Round 1
    10 merkins
    15 thrusters
    20 merkins
    25 thrusters
    30 merkins

    400 meter run

    Round 2
    10 thrusters
    15 v ups
    20 thrusters
    25 v ups
    30 thrusters

    400 meter run

    Round 3
    10 v ups
    15 jungle bois
    20 v ups
    25 jungle bois
    30 v ups

    400 meter run

    Round 4
    10 jungle bois
    15 blockees
    20 jungle bois
    25 blockees
    30 jungle bois

    400 meter run

    Round 5
    10 blockees
    15 Merkins
    20 blockees
    25 merkins
    30 blockees

    400 meter run

    When time was called at the usual 7:30, three of the pax finished in the 45 minute window. Big shout out to Diddle, pope and goose. The rest of the pax were struggling somewhere in round 5, inevitably working through the never ending blockees. YHC felt like anything beyond round 3 would be impressive. This group blew it out of the water. Yankee Jeaux kept us on pace and every time we saw him hold back that vomit, it was more motivation to keep going.

    At the end of it all, Cardinal showed up in the most glorious way… with coffee and donuts. Even with a thumb out of commission, he couldn’t resist the F3 fellowship. He seemed very upset about missing out on the 100 reps of thrusters. So blessed to have a post IPC hang out and refreshment time.

    We circled up, offered prayers to those in need, Cardinal prayed us out and we dug into the donuts and coffee.

    Back to the tough times in life YHC eluded to earlier… Before starting on this F3 journey merely 50 days ago, YHC would have never thought of doing 100 merkins. That would have seemed ridiculous, let alone 100 thrusters with a cinder block. Now it seems nothing but normal for a Saturday morning. I owe this change and higher mental strength to the F3 Thibodaux PAX. When these workouts seem unfathomable, we look to the guy to the left and right that are going through the same pain. It’s the only motivation that’s needed. So, when life gets tough and seems impossible, surround yourselves with good people. Look to your right and left, they will get you through whatever hell is happening. Tough times will never last and life will be sweet again.

  • “Okay” – from Goose

    YHC had already hinted to the PAX that there might be some running today, but they showed up anyway. It clearly goes to show that these fellas value the brotherhood and the shared experience of pain more than they want to avoid the grind. It was great to see a packed parking lot when we pulled up!
    After a much needed warmup that was quieter than normal without Poox, YHC intro’d the BDE Burpee mile, a solid prep for Saturday. Most had not yet watched the pre-blast video, so the burpee combined with a Goosie was a bit jarring. Smooth’s consistent “Okay” was joined by a few other “Yeah, alright”s. The plan was to run the mile loop stopping at every quarter for three BDE Burpees. (What does BDE stand for? Suburban dictionary says: “Busy Day Everyday” with a coffee cup emoji. Not sure how that applies here.) At every stop, the PAX would wait for the six by doing core exercises until they arrived: 1st was flutter kicks, 2nd was LBC’s, 3rd was Freddy’s, and 4th was Big Boys. Impressively, there wasn’t much waiting, even though one or two of the guys had been out for a while, and though BDE burpees are complicated, they got done smoothly enough.
    Paradiddle and Tana busted it for the last quarter mile, but YHC hung back a little with Enron–the Q knew what was to come. And, what was to come after the last set of BDE Burpees was another BDE mile, this time with merkins. And, again, we got a solid “Okay” from Smooth and similar responses from the rest. YHC knew that many of these dudes were more gassed than they wanted to be and were just grateful that the running was over, but there was no grunts of exasperation or moans of self-pity to be heard. And, though it took a few more flutters and Freddys for Seal Team 6 to pull into each stop, it was clear that they and the rest of this crew were here for it this morning, come what may. Even Dumbledore, who quietly sprained his ankle at the start of the second mile, stayed back and did BDE merkins until we returned instead of just rolling out like many others might.
    The 3 BDE Merkins (merkin + Peter-Parker leg left + merkin + Peter Parke leg right + merkin = 1) at each stop had the pecs a little warm, but not burnt, so with the last 7 minutes, burn them we did.
    The song was “Running on Empty” by Jackson Brown (Honeysuckle = consistency), and we were in plank formation (or something like that) for the duration with merkins for every “running”. The concrete was well moistened by the end, and YHC asked if anyone could guess how long the song was. Enron quickly shouted “4:47!” The song was 4:50 long. Did he time it on his watch? No, that would be ridiculous and pointless. So, YHC can only conclude that he has assistants at home with computers and headsets listening to the mics he’s got planted around the AO and ready to research any question that might be offered by a Q and whisper an answer into his earpiece (along with funny name suggestions for FNG’s). French Horn and Honeysuckle clearly use the same method during trivia beatdowns. Cardinal is looking into it.
    The two minutes remaining were filled with Crunchy Frogs and Wife Pleasers. COT, hype for Honeysuckle’s VQ Thursday, prayer intentions, and Popeye prayed us out. Proud to be a part of this crew.
    SYITG,
    Goose
    P.S. It was only after YHC got home that I remembered that BDE merkins are all Hand-release. Oh, well. We’ll just have to wait till Saturday to get shredded again.

  • St. John the Baptist/ Bearcrawl tag/ Oliver Anthony – from Smooth Operator

    8/29/23 St. John the Baptist/ Bearcrawl Tag/Oliver Anthony

    Attendance
    Goose
    Pope
    Enron
    Dumbledore
    Yankee Joe
    Honeysuckle
    Americas Best
    Safety Valve
    Tana
    Paradox
    Smooth Operator

    This morning YHC had some serious trouble getting out of bed. The only thing that kept me from sleeping till 0900 was my commitment to the HC and the idea of some shared suffering with friends.

    YHC arrived around 0505 on the heels of Paradox to find Enron and Dumbledore waiting on us. After a request for a music box in the group text fell unanswered, YHC just assumed Dox would have JBL on standby as usual. When Dox was confronted about JBL, you could have sworn he left one of his kids home unattended with the stove set to broil by his reaction. Dox started running straight to a groggy Yankee Joe whom had car pooled with AB and Honeysuckle to no avail. Finally, St. John’s place podna Safety Valve came through in the clutch and pulled out what appeared to be a lunch box out of the Platinum. After confirming this was indeed a speaker and not a PB and J sandwich holder, YHC saw the name on the front was turtle box. YHC has seen quite a few speakers that have graced the PAX with tunes throughout my 7 or 8 month tenure as a PAX member, none have jammed quite like the Turtle. The rest of the PAX pulled up and we started warmarama at 0516.

    Warmarama

    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Windmills
    Willie Mayes Hayes
    Arm Circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Mountain Climbers
    Pairing up for Thang 1
    Coupon curb mosey to pick up 1 coupon per pair

    Today is the Feast of the passion of St. John the Baptist. YHC was very short on my explanation of why we were doing the couple of exercise because of time constraints, but the main points of my research and reasoning behind this beat down were 3 things. John the Baptist was sent by God to make straight the road for Jesus Christ which we will touch on with thang #1. John the Baptist was also sent by God to preach repentance and spread the news of Jesus ministry, which we will touch on in thang #2. Thang #3 didn’t have much to do with John the Baptist, it had more to do with shared suffering and these songs have been very helpful for me while dealing with my recent hardships.

    Alright let’s get on with it.

    Thang #1
    Catch me if you can/ murder bunny version

    Thang one ties in with John the Baptist because we are going to literally make the path straight for our partners to run behind us by pounding the ground flat with coupons. We moseyed to the big field down the bayou from the stage. After finalizing our partnerships, YHC set out to explain Catch me if you can which I remembered really enjoying a Goat’s beatdown where this was involved. Basically partner 1 starts murder bunnying across the field toward white fence and back. Partner 2 will complete 5 goosees and then sprint to partner one and catch him. After this the partners will switch until they have completed 3 times from the street to the white fence. After this the Pax did the same exercise except we lunge walked instead of murder bunnyed and did 5 merkins instead of goosees. We completed 2 more street to white fence reps. The PAX did awesome on this exercise and shout out to Dumbledore taking care of his portion of the work and alot of mine. That dude is a beast and probably a future animal if the current owner of the animal shirt ever brings it back to a beatdown.

    Thang #2
    Bear crawl tag
    Earlier this summer, Tractor and I were outside playing tag. We had the sprinklers on, Jack be Nimble was running around spraying people down with a hose pipe. Miller was probably trying to find a new way to get hurt. Well YHC was tired of running after that little speedster tractor and we decided to try something new. Tag but on all fours. We did this for at least an hour and tractors stayed smiling for way longer than that. Then the wheels started turning and YHC knew he needed to work this one into a beat down. Alright back to reality, the rules for this one were relatively simple, we all
    Bear crawl, YHC would start out as IT. As I tagged people they would do 5 merkins and then be IT along with myself. We would continue on until 1 person was left standing. Then they would start the next game being it. Well due to time restraints we only played one game, but this one will make a comeback.

    Thang #3
    Musical beatdown.
    With a little over 15 minutes we had the perfect amount of time to get through the 3 songs I picked out for today. These songs were very helpful with YHC coping with the hardships I been experiencing lately and I really wanted to share them with the PAX.
    There has been a craze over a farmer from Virginia lately. He goes by Oliver Anthony and he sings some simple songs that have messages that are strong in character.

    The first song was titled Rich Man’s Gold.
    The PAX would be changing levels from mission impossible and high plank whenever there is a break in the lyrics. YHC stressed it was not important in getting all the lyrical breaks correct it was all about the effort.

    After this we moved on to the second song Rich men from Richmond. This song is what made Oliver Anthony popular. Contrary to popular belief, Oliver Anthony is not a conservative. He pretty much said he doesn’t like any politicians. On the second song we would be changing levels again in the breaks in the lyrics. We would be switching from deep squat, Al gore or mid level squat, to an athletic position. As the song went on, YHC ability to distinguish the breaks in the lyrics got worse and worse.

    The last song was a song from Larry Fleet, Where I find God. For this one we would be holding 6” and with ever break in the lyrics we would be doing a leg raise. 3/4 of the way through we hit 0600. The Pax seemed pretty content with this.

    After this we had COT. A few of us had problems counting off. Announcements revealed that Enron had the Q for Thursday at the Lion’s Den. We expressed intentions for all the PAX members whom M’s are pregnant and Safety Valve prayed us out.

    Thanks to all who showed up. Keep up the good work and thanks for pushing me to be a better man.
    SYITG,
    Smooth Operator

  • The Jurpee: Live and Deconstructed – from Yankee Joe

    Quick Note:

    Gentlemen, this beatdown was just hard. I appreciate and admire how each of you simply took care of business. Though Q-drenaline is real, I can say that when my tank is empty and my brain is lying to me, all I need to do is look around at the PAX to regain momentum. In my experience, there’s no amount of self discipline or mental toughness that can manufacture that last mile push. This is why the gym membership, by itself, will eventually fail.

    If you have not Q’d a beatdown yet, get on the books. I promise you are READY.

    The Blast
    —————————————–

    Wednesday Night – 6:45 pm

    YHC: “Hey Babe…can you come look at this beatdown design real quick?”

    M: “Sure, I can’t think of anything else that would be a better use of our time while trying to get kids ready for bed.”

    YHC: “I totally agree! Ok…do you think 200 burpees is too much?”

    M: “Honey, we talked about this. You don’t make friends by trying to hurt them.”

    YHC: “C’mon…it’s not like that…the guys will love this stuff.”

    M: “Really? Doesn’t half of F3 Thiboduax go to the same chiropractor?”

    YHC: “Umm. Actually, now that you mention it, yes…yes they do. Hey…do me a favor and don’t mention the Chiropractor thing to Paradox. He gets real sensitive about it.”

    ——————————————-

    Thursday Morning – 6:45 am

    2.0: “Daddy, are you in here? I heard noises like a dinosaur. Why are you on the floor next to the potty”

    YHC: “Hey, sweetheart. Yes, I’m fine. Daddy’s tummy is a little upset.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “Daddy did a really hard workout this morning with lots of those burpee things I showed you.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “I thought it would be fun.”

    2.0: “It’s not fun to hurt your friends. Did you throw up on Mr. Enron again?”

    YHC: “I did NOT throw up on Mr. Enron. How many times do I have to tell you?”

    —————————————–
    The Inspiration

    We are just mere days away from the best time of the year – The Iron Pax Challenge. The F3 Thibodaux draft class of 2023, as mentioned in prior blasts, has reshaped the PAX into a collective of bad, bad men…or bawzzz as it were – Michelin, French Horn, Michelin, Honeysuckle, America’s Best, Bone Thug, Safety Valve, and Dumbledore. This group of monsters have not experienced IPC’s path-altering power. I’m not sure about Popeye and Paradiddle since they are part of the F3 Thibby OG. Yeah, you know me.

    IPC has a way of changing a man, breaking through and shattering the false ceilings of what he thinks he can or can’t do. Lil’ Cuz and Superfund as FNG’s, were (as Dox eloquently noted) “forged” in the IPC fires. Once a week in September, with pre-blast in hand, each man voluntarily embraces a level of such exertion that chatter simply vanishes and is replaced by venomous snark.

    For those less familiar, I offer the following snapshot from various IPC beatdowns last year.

    —————————————–
    After a few minutes, you’re already in pain. You start becoming confused. You can’t understand how any actual human can do this amount of man-makers (burpees with a coupon). You think back on the F3 Greenwood pre-blast video tutorials. Ben Gay, with a smug smirk, describes the week’s torture like it’s directions for making frozen pizza. He has a few jabronies jump into frame to demonstrate like THREE REPS of the various exercises. You hate their perfect Bonnie Blair form with their stupid pumping arms. You’re like, “C’mon… if I only had to do a few reps, I could bring my ass to the ground like a catcher on a coupon thruster too.” The hate starts to consume you.

    You try not to drop your coupon on Enron’s toes after he comments on your inability to tell time (You’ll get your vengeance during the Skinny Runner IPC, watching him desperately try to use a jump rope). You see Montana waving frantically at the “we’re not worthy” station. Your legs are wet noodles, and you stumble across the field to change the song as BAPS very loudly blares that particularly offensive (and REPEATING) lyric in Rage’s “Killing in the Name.” Why? Because there’s a Family Fun Run at the Peltch. Moms are blushing. Kids are crying. Dads are moshing.

    You’re out of breath…there is no side conversation. You see Cardinal toss his coupon 10 yards after each set, disgusted by the very nature of the beatdown design. You think to yourself that there hasn’t been something this awful since the casting tragedy for High King Peter in the Narnia movies. They might as well have cast Jar Jar. At least Jar Jar had a story arc of growth and purpose. King Peter enters the plot as a douche wagon…and well, upgrades to a minivan.

    You look over, marveling at how Goose and Wet Tap can be so far ahead of everyone else…hoping deep down that you’ll catch them executing poor form. You hear ‘Lil Cuz lament that he should have taken the glove recommendation seriously, and yet he’s still plowing through with bloody, blistery hands. You know that Paradox typically takes off his shirt when a beatdown starts getting serious…about half way through. This day, you’re horrified to see him lose the shirt, and we’re only five minutes in. Instead of running between exercises, you’re shuffling like a prisoner with ankle cuffs on. It’s like the opening scene in “Saving Private Ryan.” Everything sounds warped like you’re underwater. You think, “ I can’t keep going…not even one more rep. Not one more step.”

    But you’re wrong. You CAN do more reps. And you do them. Then time is called and it’s over. Suddenly, you love everything and everyone. You praise F3 Greenwood for their misunderstood creativity. You spit out endorphin laced Dad jokes and everyone laughs. It’s an emotional and physical rollercoaster. IPC is where YHC turned the corner in F3. I’ve been waiting so patiently. It really is the best time of the year.
    ————————————-

    So….

    The On Ramp

    14 PAX showed up to the Den on a Thursday morning. Today was forecast to set heat index records. By 5:15 am, the heat index was already 90 degrees. The humidity was hovering around 70%. As French Horn would say, “Bruhhhh…it was nastayyy.” Before getting out of the douche wagon, America’s Best presented YHC with his ‘hot off the press’ prescription glasses. This exceptional customer service wouldn’t save him from the morning’s misery, but I did feel a little guilty if that counts for anything. The only other medical professional I’ve known that offers such unparalleled customer satisfaction is a Chiropractor in Raceland. (That noise you’re hearing? Bad words being yelled in Homerican…)

    The PAX seemed oddly quiet. Was it because YHC’s subtle pre-hype about burpees wasn’t so subtle? Was it because they heard YHC talking to Goose about doing Goosey’s (bonnie blair with squat jump) as a MODIFICATION? Perhaps it was because the SV500 tank top club is super elitist and the rest of us felt left out. Who’s to say? With French Horn posting two days in a row, however, James Hetfield would insist nothing else matters.

    Usual warmarama with some extra arm and hamstring stretches, then off to the lighted tennis/pickleball courts where BAPS awaited us with superior sound quality and epic beats.

    Our rev up song was “Call On Me” by Eric Prydz. The PAX would do Burpees on “Call On Me,” recover in between. There were 51 burpee opportunities. At this point, there was still minimal chatter. The pace was fast between burpee triggers. In fact, “Call On Me” are the only words in the song. The men were beasts. YHC was not.

    ————————————-
    The Thang

    For the main event, we put together a deconstructed burpee with some core. The objective was to mimic the AMRAP nature of many IPC beatdowns. YHC would set the clock for 20 minutes and the PAX would complete as many rounds as possible in that time. Following the lead of Ben Gay, YHC demonstrated the various exercises in three-rep increments. The PAX was not pleased to learn that the actual rep count was 20 for each exercise. YHC did his best to soften the misery with a carefully curated EDM playlist.

    The Deconstructed Jurpee – AMRAP rounds for 20 min. (goal of 5 rounds)

    20 medium slow and low squats
    20 groiners
    20 merkins
    20 groiners
    20 jump squats with arms raised
    20 LBC’s
    20 leg raises

    Per usual, I looked across the circle to see Goose, Wet Tap, and Pope breezing through the rounds. Honeysuckle looked almost bored, but sweating profusely, nonetheless. Smooth was grinding as always, shirt off, and knocking out merkins like it was nothin’. Safety Valve continues to impress and looks similar to Paradiddle with his methodical (and dare I say, perfect) form. Cardinal was straight up working! With a focused, stoic expression, he was not shying away from one of the things he hates most in life…the burpee (a close second to misguided telecommunications consumer choices).

    Heck, even Montana’s form wasn’t criminal. All the more impressive considering that a burpee is not really conducive to being 6’ 7.” Every time YHC looked over at Paradox, he just “happened” to be doing leg raises, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. However, he was the biggest cheerleader of the playlist, which I genuinely appreciate considering I spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect EDM cover of “Wellerman.”

    ————————————–
    YHC called time and with six minutes left in the beatdown, two options were planned…Mary or another longish song with burpee triggers. It was safe to say that the AMRAP deconstructed burpee had served its purpose. Except for Pope, the rest of us were wet toast. I offered ONLY the latter option to the PAX. I have no doubt that internally, each of us thought it was as dumb an idea as remaking Willow. Lucasfilm, that’s enough. Haven’t you hurt society enough? Audibly though, to a man, all chose death over cake.

    So, burpees for every male chorus response. 53 triggers to be exact. With the Pet Shop Boys reinvigorating our souls, the PAX did four minutes of “Go West” before time was called and we moseyed back to a sullen Aslan. No doubt lamenting his choice of High King.

    COT, the ANIMAL and GiGi tanks were nowhere to be seen, and Goose prayed us out.

    ———————————-

    Have a Cup of Jeaux

    I’m going to leave this here…

    Episodes 1 – 3 should be stricken from the record. Completely. Never happened. Do it again. George Lucas can hang out on set, but he gets zero input on the writing.

    If you don’t know what Episodes 1 – 3 refers to, ignorance is literally bliss. If you liked Episodes 1 – 3, you’re probably High King Peter.

    SYITG,

    Jeaux

  • You Got Goose-Diddled! – from Goose

    The GroupMe was eerily silent last night/this morning for two reasons:

    1. French Horn had laid down a stronger than usual commitment post, and though many doubted, and many wrote and then deleted hilarious comments stating such thoughts, nobody wanted to discourage what looked to be an actually possible showing by the long-absent, greatly missed, mop-topped, boat-conceived youngster. Couldn’t risk that.

    2. Paradiddle was on the list to Q, but no hype had been posted by the ‘stached bandit nor any comment acknowledging the inevitable. Many wrote and then deleted requests for hype or temperature checks due to the fear that has now been associated with tank-tops, mouth-brows, and a white-capped abundance of hair.

    YHC thought there might be a small chance that Diddle had forgotten amidst his wild schedule, but wasn’t necessarily prepped with a back-pocket Q. Thoughts between waking and arriving had fluttered around Dilly’s spoken desire to complete grades 7-10 (left incomplete during his back to school Billy Madison Q) and memories from last year’s IPC, specifically the “Death by Skinny Runner” beatdown. So, when 5:15 arrived, and there was no Diddle, the site-Q (YHC) got excited at the opportunity to channel the inner Diddle and combine it with a little Goose-flavor and some IPC prep.

    A long warmup was needed after Smooth’s monster coupon routine yesterday, and this gave YHC some time to put the pieces together. Enron suggested the Deck o’ Death, which put the finishing touch on it, especially since YHC had also just attained some workout dice that were itching for some concrete.

    Warmups: the usual suspects plus Willy Maes Hayes and Toe Touches (bend down, touch toes, then come up and touch waist, then up straight onto toes with hands in the air = 1). Every vehicle that pulled into the neighborhood was taken to be Diddle coming in hot, but the hopes (or fears) never materialized. YHC then led a bumper to Stop sign to flag mosey to get the PAX familiar with the distance, cuz…

    Thang:
    One (or two) exercises followed by a quarter mile run, which happens to be the exact distance of the bumper to stop sign to flag loop. But, this would be a race, and the winner got to pick the next break…er, exercise. The winner could pick an exercise of their choosing or elect to roll the dice (three dice–one with reps/time and two with exercises) or pick two cards.

    Pope won the first one (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and chose low-slow squats to give the PAX a breather. Smooth made it known that now that he was comfortable with the route, he’d be smoking us all, and though he started strong with a powerful sprint on the next lap (and every one after that), long distances remain his kryptonite.

    YHC won the next, (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and we rolled the dice landing on 90 seconds of squats and penguins. The three minutes were greatly appreciated, but at this point, it had become clear that any hope of real recovery between laps was unrealistic.

    The next one was won by Honeysuckle (with Pope right behind him) who seemed to be set up to Q the rest of the beatdown, and he chose Freddy’s, which went way too fast.

    Next lap was Pope again (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and he went with a couple of cards: 16 Bonnies (1:1) and a Joker, which he turned into a 60 second Mission Impossible plank (still better than running).

    Honeysuckle took the next (surprise, surprise) and went for a dice roll in hopes that two exercises would take longer than one (and that burpees wouldn’t come up) and the risk paid off. 30 reps of leg raises and wife pleasers.

    The last lap took off at 5:57, and many of the men must have seen the time, because the performances were impressive. YHC finished first, but Yankee Joe had joined Honeysuckle and Pope right behind him, again revealing that he’s got more gas in the tank than he lets on. PAX planked until the 6 arrived, and it was 6:00.

    All in all, YHC was extremely impressed by this crew’s resilience as they pushed hard each lap. Seriously, though Pope and Honeysuckle put the bar nice and high, the rest of the bunch weren’t too far behind–every time. T-claps to Enron, YJ, and Paradox, for some noticeable pushes, and Smooth for being first off the line every time.

    More T-claps to the impressive level of mumblechatter this morning despite the lung-busting, leg-deadening work. Unfortunately, YHC’s memory has been affected by the post-beatdown brain fog, so the only one that comes to mind was Enron’s comment as we were lining up for lap 4 or 5. YHC’s hand had substantially brushed a particularly sensitive area as we crowded to be first in line, and he immediately came out with, “Man, I goosed AND diddled in one beatdown!” YHC couldn’t breathe, and it almost sabotaged the lap.
    If you remember more gems, please post them in the GroupMe to make up for YHC’s inability to immortalize them here.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose