Tag: Honeysuckle

  • Life to the MAX – from Paradox

    Facts only:

    It would be super duper to have an FNG visit from Poland.

    And if that FNG posted every day on his vacation, pretty Rad as well.

    Could we name him after a nerd scientist with big BIG ideas .
    For certain.

    But What if I told you (switch to Morpheus voice )
    What If I told you, that an FNG from Poland closely connected to one of our own posted all week long through ridiculous IPC preps with a huge smile on his face ?

    And I hope now that you are nice and lathered up and your Garmin is recording …because what if one of those same days was actually a feast day for one of the greatest Polish Saints in history ?!

    These were the facts in Aug 15 2024 and 10 pax were present at the Den to share the labor.

    Grab that red pill and come on in!

    Duke! Get the Coups
    It’s IPC prepppp

    FACTS:
    St Max Kolbe was a Catholic polish priest who lived from 1894 to 1941.
    Known as the Saint of Aushwitz
    He died on August 14 1941 volunteering to exchange his life for another prisoner.

    Those are the facts for this beatdown men.
    I’ll spare the usual dox fluff (just this once) and encourage you to dig more on this Saints incredible life of sacrifice.

    Each round :
    Reps : 10, 9, 8 …etc to 1
    MOT in between varies

    We kept it simple
    Each round for a rule of life for St Kolbe.

    1. Devotion to our lady at an early age

    Purity – no cheat merkins
    MOT bearcrawl

    2.) Take care of your body in order for our body’s to better be able to glorify and serve God and others.

    **As a Friar- he founded one of the largest Franciscan orders of his age
    Devoted to exercise he was diligent about starting the day with mutiple rounds of jumping jacks. Seems like a man who loved SSHs and being in time. YHC wishes he had more neighbors like this …

    SSH and Karaoke

    3.) Worked hard to spread the gospel by all means necessary
    Radio, magazine , theater etc

    Coupon Squats and coupon Lunges

    All of a sudden you could hear every cricket at the Den

    4.) We need strong men trained in the faith.
    Militia Immaculate
    Rifle Carry and Overhead Press

    5.) We have a mission to Carry Faith Abroad-
    Setup community in Nagasaki
    Burpees and Broad Jumps

    6.) Growth toward Ultimate Sacrifice

    53 merkins for 53 years that Franciszek Gawoniczek lived after St Kolbe gave up his life for him.

    COT and tremendous gratitude to Copernicus for showing up all week. Thank you for sharing your story and the suffering with us. We hope you made it through customs with all that F3 swag.

    St Kolbe , pray for us !

    SYITG
    Dox

  • St. Dominic Rosary Ruck – from Smooth Operator

    8/28/24
    St. Dominic Rosary Ruck

    ManEater
    Honeysuckle
    Wet Tap
    Enron
    Safety Valve

    YHC arrived at 5:17 happy to see the Pax waiting with ruck sacks instead of just a bunch of people less vehicles.

    YHC had a rosary ruck planned which entailed showing the Pax one of the few prayerful activities that had stuck in YHC shift working life. The daily rosary podcast has kept me awake many mornings on the ride home from the plant. This morning YHC picked a meditation on St. Dominic which explains the peculiar way the podcast makers prays the rosary. YHC had forgot his speaker this morning so the pax stayed close to listen in and lift up there prayers to the health care workers and patients in the hospital. We ended up making 2 laps around the hospital and an extra bonus double back loop at the end. After the rosary we discussed ways we say the rosary a little and a-lot about the hospital side by side and a Hatfield and McCoy situation down in the south Houma realm of the world.

    The Pax made it back at 0602 having rucked 2.2 miles. We counted off and offered up one last prayer especially for a Pax member and Pax member’s M having contracted Covid. Thanks to Safety Valve for praying us out and Thanks for coming out and rucking around and finding out.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Tampico’s got them $15 drinks – from Cardinal

    As Big and Rich famously sang, “We’re coming to Morgan Cit-ay!” So we decided to put a little ting in our tang tang and make the trip to see what Cardinal has been up to on his rucks. Smooth operator arrived in his truck with the glow of having two new batteries installed.

    Cardinal set the pace and it was brisk. He ignored Maneater’s comments about the how fast we were going and possibly sped up. And only Cardinal knew where we were at any given time; it just felt like we were right in the middle of everywhere.

    The city is certainly taking a victory lap for Vernon Norwood, but who could blame them.
    Early on we made it to a levee that had a nice paved path. This led us to one of the City’s main throughfares, flanked by a hospital and a Wal Mart. We were then instructed to go to Thibodaux if we needed hospitals or Wal Marts, even though we were right there.

    Next was a donut shop and coffee shop. It felt like the olfactory version of Odysseus passing the sirens, and if one of us would have suggested to stop I think it would have happened. Way to stay strong guys!

    Then the high school football stadium. Cardinal is actively manicuring his friend list to include someone with the authority to allow him access to this stadium. Maneater is ok if that process takes a while.

    At this point it felt like we were several miles away from Holy Cross. Then suddenly it was like the ending of Usual Suspects plus The Sixth Sense put together as we rounded a corner and Holy Cross was in view. Cardinal had us finishing up right at 6, wrapping up a challenging but pleasantly “cool” morning that we were going to assume was several degrees cooler than Thibodaux.

    We’re going to do our best to fly higher than a jet airliner to Morgan City in a few weeks to see what else Cardinal has up his sleeve!

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • It Was Quite the Palooza – from America’s Best

    30 years ago today: August 10, 1994.
    Do you know where you were? Of course not, you were probably a preteen or a baby. But old man AB does. Lollapalooza, Raleigh, North Carolina. Green Day. The Beastie Boys. A Tribe called Quest. Smashing Pumpkins. George Clinton. The Breeders. Even Shaquille O’Neal.
    Could this PAX even identify the music of these performers?
    Probably not without Honeysuckle, and definitely not without Popeye.

    The warmarama:
    SSH, Abe Vigotas, mountain climbers, slow high knees, regular butt kicks, crazy arms circling whilst picking cherries, maybe something else.

    The First Thang- Left my gas card in El Segundo:

    Begin with a mosey down the road…

    (YHC still clearly remembers casting off his mother’s suggestions to bring extra snacks and drinks for the journey. “Mom- it’s not the Oregon Trail. We can stop at any gas station if we need any of that.”
    Unfortunately, 18-year old AB didn’t think to stop at a gas station for gas… and car no go without the gas.
    It was a different time. It was the 90s.
    No cellphones, no internet. Not a single luxury. So when you run out of gas on the interstate, you just … wait.)
    So we stop on our mosey and just wait.
    And just listen to A Tribe Called Quest (and another yet-to-be-identified band)
    Hold Al Gore until you can’t anymore. Then hold plank until you can’t.

    The 2nd Thang:
    Boulevard of Broken Dreams

    The girls spent too long getting ready, some of the crew wants to stay in the car a while longer, and the guy with IBS has to find a porta-potty immediately. The result of all this nonsense is missing almost all of Green Day’s set.
    Because YHC is still a bit salty about that, the PAX gets to relive some of the frustration of traveling back and forth to the car before finally getting into the show.
    11s
    Start with one Bobby Hurley(at the gates) then run to do 10 no-cheat Merkins (at the car), then bear-crawl back to the start. Continue the process until the physical pain erases the emotional anguish.

    3rd Thang:
    A Brass Kicking

    First song: Brass Monkey
    (Like I said, it was a different time. The 90s were wild with songs normalizing questionable social practices).
    Curls during the song, and monkey-humping goblet squats on each “monkey”

    Followed by “Can I Kick it?”
    Yes you can… flutter kick until you hear that question, then heels to heaven.

    Final Thang: Again, Again, Again
    The best and worst thing about Lollapalooza is all the music and all the stages. Here the PAX got to celebrate and lament moving between the stages.

    4 stages (corners) escalator
    Stage 1: 10 burpees
    Run to
    Stage 2: 10 burpees+20 BBS
    Run to
    Stage 3: 10 burpees+20 BBS+30 merkins
    Run to
    Stage 4: 10 burpees+20 BBS+30 merkins+40 air squats

    About halfway through, the PAX flexed its music chops, as Popeye ID’d Kim Deal’s band The Breeders, then Honeysuckle the Album name, and Cardinal called out the year released (he was 1).
    Then, sometime near the end of the escalator, Popeye made me question my memories, nay, my entire existence, insisting that the Beastie Boys surely didn’t play Sabotage at Lollapalooza ‘94.
    But I SWEAR they closed with it. What was happening? At this point I was somewhere between burpee number 40 and my 112th merkin, so I was beginning to question everything. What if Puddle of Mudd IS my favorite 90s band? Am I actually a fan of Depeche Mode? Maybe I do enjoy omelets?!?!?
    YHC was beyond confused, like Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Total Recall, or Joe Biden at the end of breakfast. “Who ate all my toast?”

    Thankfully the beatdown was ending. I pushed Popeye’s ill communications from my mind and stumbled to the flag for COT.

    Super-stoked to have Cardinal out there again, and honored to have him pray us out.

    Always an honor to lead this group (and subject you to some of the Best American music history).

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle O’T – from America’s Best

    Warmarama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, WMH, arm circles to and fro, Carolina high knees with slaw, butt kicks, self-love

    The Thang:
    Here’s the deal: The PAX is split into 2 teams, each competing to be the first to bring back 6 historical figures.
    To get them, they must mosey the circuits of time (those new streets) and knock out some reps at each station.
    If you can identify the historical figure by the associated exercise, you mosey back. If not, take the MOT penalty back.
    So roll that die to see which number you get to run to. And if you’ve already been to that number, stay in San Dimas, do some Smurf Jacks or No Surrenders or LBCs with Napoleon and then roll again.

    Station 1: Wood Choppers. For Abe Lincoln, understood by all, no lunge walking.
    Station 2: Colt 45s. Both teams easily got that this was Billy the Kid, so nobody had to Broad-Jump-Burpee back
    Station 3: Nutcrackers. Popeye, drawing strength and wisdom from the tickets, came through for team 2 with Freud. Not sure if Team 1 crabwalked or not.
    Station 4: Gadfly’s. Just regular flys, but who knew Gadfly was Socrates’ nickname?
    Station 5: Curb Alpert. Apparently, no PAX present has ever heard of Herb Alpert, so the music connection was not made to Beethoven. MOT back was caterpillar.
    Station 6: Apollo Ohnos. Although separated by time and space, Goose and Pope each wisely guessed that this was Socrates. And it should be. But, as he said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing.” So stop being so smart and thinking so much. The actual answer took no deep thought, just the superficial (and somewhat racist and offensive) fact that Genghis Khan was also Asian. Sorry, dudes, but history is not woke. So we all Dragon walked.

    With only a minute left, team 1 took the win. Team 2 was most non-triumphant, still moseying back from their final station.

    We’ve had many excellent beatdowns, but none as bodacious as this.

    Circle OT and Goose prayed us out.

    Catch ya in the gloom,

    AB

  • Keep it 100 – from Paradox

    5 Ruckers deep
    YHC wanted to keep it 100 today

    Da Men
    Valve- Eater-Suckle-Tap

    A solid crew of rucking regulars (minus Tidy)

    Warm up on the Fly
    Many felt discomfort

    Da Work – Benjamin’s

    Ruck 2 Track

    40-30-20-10 Ruck Squats
    Lap
    40-30-20-10 Ruck OHP

    Lactic acid checks were written on the 1st and second floors. Withdrawals available in the am.

    Other Rucking Discussion

    – Wikipedia college degrees
    – Corneal Tattoos
    – Jurassic park death count
    – Eye Doctor copyright wars
    – Basic Institutions of healthcare
    – Goats in the Machine incentive programs

    MC Ruck is brewing for 8/21
    BK 500 is 9/28

    Intentions for retreats

    COT and Tapper prayed us out

    Did we keep it 100?
    Is there an entire industry for phallic symbol corneal tattooing ?
    Did the guy in the opening scene of JP even die???

    Only 5 men know the deep truths today…but ya know they have a saying over at the advanced institution

    Real Eyes
    Realize
    Real Lies

    Watch your step and keep it atleast 99 today.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Bone Apple Teeth – from Paradox

    A few years ago during YHCs RCIA journey I had a great sit down with a priest to answer a few questions about the sacrament of confession. Ya see YHC had only seen the movie versions of confession and basically all I knew was I had to get in a boo box somewhere and that usually the priest was a double CIA agent covertly seeing if I was tied up in a small town murder plot. Well, after a thorough explanation of what real confession was and was not , (mortal vs venial sins etc) I was left with only one question: What if you have done or said something really really exceedingly stupid but no-one knows about it? Not necessarily a sin but something that may have altered the entire fabric of your vocabulary and, if left untold, would eat away at you and those around you for decades. The priest after assuring me being stupid was not a sin smiled and said “that’s easy, you just tell the really bad ones to a trusted friend, have a laugh, and move on”

    Well , Here we are my friends.

    Welcome to the Boo Box

    Duke!! Get your Ruck !!
    Roll the bean footage and let’s get this nipped in the butt.

    5 Road warriors strong at the colosseum. We took a steady ruck from Nichols across the bridge of Terapeltchia into Peltch Major until making our destination of the EDW track.

    Here YHC revealed he would be confessing to four obscenely incorrect uses of common phrases used at different eras in my life .

    We would commemorate each with an exercise , Indian ruck a track lap , rinse and repeat.

    1.) “Let’s Get down to Brass TAX”

    Most of these had similar origin stories. YHC, in his Homerian learning center, heard the phrase from grown ups, assumed it meant something else, justified it with my own experiences and went about my merry childhood. For example, when adults got serious, usually with a business deal or related finances, they were ready to go beyond your regular gen pop taxes and do Brass taxes . You know, you go into your CPAs office and tell them straight up that you have a job and kids and it’s time to do brass taxes and that was that. I considered that if I studied hard enough maybe one day I would even see my brass taxes at work.

    Later, after all that studying I stood in an OR as a 25 year old med student. Across from me a senior surgeon told a story of an emergent trauma surgery during a mission trip in Guatemala. They needed to stop internal bleeding with limited supplies and he had a surg tech find a brass tack from a tool box, sterilize it, and pinned a section of colon until the correct tool could be utilized. (No big deal)
    He was impressed at how attentive I was to his story but had no clue I was really just stunned that brass tacks existed and how the loss of my brass tax goal had just been demolished.

    Brass Tax Ruck Bobby Hurleys
    We did 25 of them .

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    2. ) State of The ARK

    This one started a little younger. Someone on TV describing a yacht that had State of the Art technology. YHC , fresh from Bible school thought it was great that Noah and his biblical story of trust were recognized in modern times. I then assumed that anything with new cutting edge tech must therefore be State of the Ark. Luckily, well before serious college interviews, (I def had a drivers license though) while serving as a VBS counselor I instructed several children in a PE game called State of the Ark. While we were laughing at watching the kids do a relay race picking up stuffed animals I couldn’t help but notice how funny the other adults thought “state of the Ark” was. I laughed with them but swiftly found a Britannica at home to learn the Truth. Still to this day when I see a really big fancy boat , I whisper to myself “State of the Ark”…

    We did 25 State of the Ark Monkey Swings (Kettlebell swings with ruck)

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    3.) STATUE of Limitations

    This may have been the most painful. If you have an older brother in your life you know they smell your ignorance like a shark smells blood . When mine had returned home from a semester at college I informed him that I was using his clothes and room at my own behest and then doubled down to tell him the Statue of Limitations on those items was up. I was then led through my first (certainly not my last) public reformation as he informed our well educated parents they had failed in my raising. He later became a lawyer while YHC continues a worldwide search for that ancient Statue Of Limits.

    We did 100 squats as our “Limitations “
    P1 hold AL Gore Statues
    P2 10 squats then swap

    We all silently considered what our own statute of limitations would look like.

    Ok Deep breath, here we go …

    4.) The Grand Daddy of them all

    YHC could take the common out here and say that I confused this phrase with For All Intensive Purposes, incorrect of course, but more commonly so. But this is about healing so we need to get to the roots. YHC first heard this phrase referring to a Christian missionary from my childhood church who we were raising money for in the community. Someone, remarking at how many roles this certain individual played in a small village, said that “for all intents and purposes “ he was the mayor of the village. YHC put together the pieces and assumed that he was the mayor for all those in TENTs and their purposes. I’d also like to take the out and say that this was corrected in days or weeks but it was YEARs of thoughts and prayers about those dwelling in Tents before YHC was again publicly reformed.

    We did 25 ruck thrusters with Intent and Purpose at the Thunder dome.

    Ruck Back to Base as Valve considered how to contact the LA medical board for a hard discussion and Honeysuckle had more pressing concerns that I could be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. We discovered Maneater is a bit of a scholar on this topic while Captain Ds silently began a search for better workout buddies.

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Honorable Mentions and Anonymous Submissions

    -20,000 leagues under the sea
    -Jose Can You See?
    -Chester Drawers
    -Bobbed Wire
    -Irregardless
    -Could Care Less
    -Cream of the Crap

    Men , thank you for listening. You had an opportunity to ostrich size me but took the height road. Whether you found this up hauling or mind bottling I can’t be sure but I am grapeful. Maybe some of you found it four meal your, but I urge you to put it in your review mirror and don’t look back. I hope this led to your own piece of mind.

    I pray that you will fill your day with the most intensive purposes that are full of intent and purpose and directed toward those that may be living in Tents on purpose.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Keep Thibodaux Weird – from Paradox

    YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…

    But not today my brothers.

    Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!

    But how?

    How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?

    YHC saw only one way out.

    A single artist.

    His work spanning 4 decades.

    No genre left standing in his wake.

    Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.

    Today..we would get WEIRD.

    Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!

    9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.

    THE CONCERT THANG

    Simple and direct today.
    We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.

    Correct 10 curls

    Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.

    # 1 White and Nerdy
    Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song

    What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
    In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)

    10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.

    #2 The Saga Begins
    Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
    Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers

    Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
    Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
    Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)

    # 3 Eat It
    Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s

    Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
    Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.

    # 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
    Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
    Thrusters on Paradise

    The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
    Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
    The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
    Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.

    #5 FAT
    Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
    This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
    **As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

    We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.

    Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.

    Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas

    POSTingSCRIPTs

    You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?

    Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…

    To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:

    I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.

    I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.

    Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al

    See you in the Grunge

    Dox

  • Gambling with Minors – from Goose

    YHC showed up at the Peltch fully expecting it to be just Maneater and Jacknife joining the truckful of Dawsons on this Independence Day weekend, but what to my wandering eyes should appear, but Cuz, Honeysuckle, and Smooth, each with a 2.0. I think this is actually the first time I’ve ever attended a beatdown with more 2.0’s than 1.0’s. Even if we counted Pope as a full-grown PAX, the little ‘uns still outnumbered us 7 to 6. And, when we finally got them to put the sticks down, it was time to warmup.

    Did the usuals, but introduced the Lafayette grass-grabbers, increasing the Lafayette warmup exercises to 30% of the total this morning. You see that math? That kind of quick figuring is what almost got YHC first place in the poker tournament. But, almost means I didn’t. An unlikely victor ran away with the prize, but we had some work to do first.

    After the warmup, we moseyed to the farther end of the lower field, and YHC set up Bose with what was assumed to be a blast from the past, a reminder of years we might not want to be reminded of. (…right around the time we learned not to end a sentence in a preposition.) YHC set up Bose, gave instructions, and let fly with “Lucas with the Lid Off”, a top 25 track from 1994 with a Grammy nominated music video. We planked for the duration, toe tapped (reached under and touched opposite foot) for every “catch the vibe” and merkins for every “bubbles”. YHC expected maybe Maneater or at least Honeysuckle had heard it on the radio in middle school, but it was as if I had pulled a deep track from an unpopular album from an obscure Scandinavian country. YHC was like, “But it played on the radio all the time,” and they and every single person on GroupMe were like, “You sure that was a radio?” Whatever–music videos from other dimensions don’t get nominated for Grammys. At least I don’t think they do. But, it did motivate me to see how many other songs seemed to vanish into thin air somehow in future Q’s. More to come on this…

    On to the main event, the F3 2024 Poker Tournament. The PVC cards from the Deck of Death were still wet from last time, so shuffling was difficult, but YHC managed, and each man was given 5 cards while each boy was given 3. The men paired up for one on one 5-card draw poker while the boys paired up for battle/war. The loser of each pair had to do the exercises on the cards of the hand with the harder exercises, and the winner did the exercises on the easier hand. If you did your math, like YHC, you’d see that pretty much every card was used (we included the jokers and the instructions cards–they were wild), whihc meant that there was no avoiding the really tough ones. Someone was going to be doing the 25 burpess or the 400m sprint. The jokers were frog hops between trees, which brought back bad memories from not too long ago.

    After all 5 exercises (or 3 for the wee ones) were completed, the winners went to the winners’ bracket, and the losers to the losers’ and we did it again. After that round, we had a winning winner’s bracket, a losing losers’ bracket, and a bracket that combined the winning losers and the losing winners from the previous round. YHC and Bam Bam were the final pair to face off for the title of King Poker Face, and he won with a pair of 4s. After getting an actual flush the round before (no wilds), YHC could only muster a king-high, so Bam Bam emerged as the champion, and YHC had to do some sprinting.

    With about 10 minutes on the clock, we went all against all, 5-card stud, and somehow Cuz ended up with three kings and a Joker, so the whole PAX did the exercises on the cards in his hand. (Shared suffering is so much better than doing your own sets of different excercises, even if you’re right next to someone else.)

    After this, we hustled back to the flag for about 6 minutes of Mary: WWI situps, crunchy frogs, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, Afflecks, and side planks. COT, intentions offered, especially for the PAX on family retreat, and Coyote prayed us out.

    Awesome work, fellas! It’s always such a gift to start the weekend with such quality men.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Another Game of Chance – from Enron

    The night prior to this morning’s beatdown, the power went out in YHCs neighborhood (along with many others) making the morning more difficult than normal. With the power still out at 11:15 PM and the temperature in the house rising to 81 degrees, there was a major question mark on if the scheduled Q was even going to be in attendance. Fortunately (possibly unfortunately for the PAX that was to show) the power soon returned, and the temperatures slowly started to drop.

    3 Brave PAX arrived in the gloom this morning ready for what was to come. As AB arrived, there was a deposition (see Paradox, this doesn’t sound right) of coupons at the stage as chatter began about the holiday week dropping attendance some.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, WM, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, Mountain climbers

    Thang 1: The Core Mile
    YHC led the group through rich man’s loop and the new section of neighborhood at the stage, stopping every quarter mile(ish) for the following:
    Mile 0.25 – 25 Merkins
    Mile 0.5 – 25 LBCs
    Mile 0.75 – 25 Squats
    We then returned to the stage for the main event of the morning.

    Thang 2: A game of chance

    YHC explained his love for games of chance, and the decision to let fate play a roll in what would be completed in this morning’s beatdown. This involved the following:

    We would begin at 15 reps a randomly drawn exercise out of a “bucket” of potential exercises. Next that exercise would be performed before running a lap around the stage. Upon return to the stage, one PAX (rotating each round) would flip a coin. If the coin was heads, we would add 5 reps for the next exercise. If the coin was tails, we would subtract 5 reps. This allowed for things to potentially get much more difficult, or easier, depending on the flip of the coin as we progressed. Additionally, it was explained that if, by chance, we worked our way down to zero, there would be a “prize”. AB, immediately, and correctly, second guessed if this would be a true prize.

    Results:
    Round 1: 15 Bonnie Blairs 1=1
    Round 2: (Heads) 20 American Hammers 2=1
    Round 3: (Tails) 15 Skull Crushers
    Round 4: (Tails) 10 Over Head Presses
    Round 5: (Heads) 15 8-Count Body Builders
    Round 6: (Tails) 10 LBCs
    Round 7: (Tails) 5 Curls
    Round 8: (Tails) 0 – And here was the prize… A 30 second 6-inch hold – only to also move the starting number up to 20 from 15. YHC also explained if we were to get to 0 again, this number would move up another 5 and so on.
    Round 9: (Heads) 25 – This card said “___x2 second plank” resulting in a 50 second plank
    Round 10: (Tails) 20 SSH
    Round 11: (Heads) 25 Coupon Presses
    Round 12: (Heads) 30 Wide Merkins
    Round 13: (Heads) 35 Burpees – Fortunately as this dreaded card was turned it was 5:57 am and the PAX was saved by the bell after about 15 burpees.

    Stats:
    Roughly 2.2 miles run.
    Average number of reps: 17.31
    Standard Deviation: 9.91
    Median: 15 reps
    Mode:15 reps

    COT and Popeye prayed us out with special emphasis on safe travels for all and safety for the July 4th holiday.
    SYITG,

    Enron