I need more Cowbell, wait, I any Cowbell. Cowbell was supposed to have the Q, yet he called an audible. Have no fear Jose is here to step up, and step up he did. Since I am now sounding like Bushwhacker, referring to myself in third person, I will get on to the workout. I was tossing around a few different ideas, but when there arrived only 6 participants I went with tabata: 45 seconds of an exercise, 15 seconds rest. I started us off, and then went around the group with each participant calling out a different exercise. Peacock, Waves, Slots, Blue Note, BBQ, and YHC were rolling when a very peculiar young man rode up on his bike. He was a mixture of a homeless man mixed with a meth head, crossbred with Joe Dirt. He was shirtless, tatted up (yet the tats made no sense whatsoever), and clearing on something. He proceeded to shower at the Gipper, brushing his long locks, while talking to himself. As a group we were all amazed that an outdoor shower existed at the Gipper. To which Joe Dirt’s distant inbred nephew replied “It feels so good, and that we should definitely each try it when we finished” Never a dull moment at a FIA/F3 beatdown. COT and BBQ prayed us out.
Tag: Jose 10k
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We Interrupt This Broadcast – from Grundy
Bushwacker:
Welcome to the Zoo-rich classic everyone and thank you for tuning in! Excited is just not a big enough of a word to accurately describe how I’m feeling today.Jose-10k:
You took the words right out of my mouth Wacker. Covid-19 took many things from us, but I think we can all agree that it crossed the line when it forced the Zoo-rich classic to be cancelled in 2020.Bushwacker:
You got that right. It was tragic. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that this event might be the biggest source of hope and inspiration for America.Jose-10k: AND THE WORLD!
Bushwacker: So here we are. The moment we have been waiting for for over 2 years. It is time for the Zoo-rich classic! And nothing, I MEAN NOTHING, can stop this thing from happe…
We interrupt this broadcast to inform you that the Zoo-rich classic is currently in a weather delay and has been officially postponed until 5/1/2021. We thank you for your patience and do hope you enjoy today’s programming brought to you by the washed up wanna-be trainer Grundy.
The Warm-Up
We started with the following exercises in-cadence:
* SSH
* Seal Jacks
* Windmills
* Imperial Walkers
* Cherry Pickers
*Arm-CirclesWe continued with the warm-up by lining up on the base line in a bear crawl formation. We did a alligator crawl together across the court where we stopped to do 2 merkins every third movement.
The next sequence turned out to be way harder than the Q anticipated. We split the group in half and each took a corner of the basketball court. We went around the court in circles doing gorilla crawls from baseline to baseline, and side crawls between the two baselines. We went for 10 minutes which worked out to be 4 trips around the court (after 2 trips we went the opposite counter clockwise). I definitely didn’t anticipate it being that difficult in my head when I made it up. Live and learn.
The Main Event
We walked over to grab the cinderblocks for what was the main thing the Q wanted to do that day. It was an exercise sequence first introduced to me by an Israeli personal trainer named Sagi Kalev. In it, the Q almost splashed merlot after attempting it for the first time. In the exercise Sagi gave some incredible advice, he said “When you feel like you can’t go anymore and you want to drop the weight and quit, what you need to do is… NOT QUIT!!!”
The Q couldn’t offer any better advice to the PAX than that. Let’s do this thing!
In this sequence the first step is to assume a lunged position over the cinderblock. Next you grab the block overhand using the opposite hand of your outstretched leg while the other hand grabs the backside underhanded. Straighten your back and try to keep the weight as much as you can to be right underneath your outstretched leg so when you straighten your leg in the lunge, the weight will hit the middle of your hamstring. As soon as you begin holding the weight underneath like that, your leg gets put into a tension that will not be relieved due to its positioning until you drop the weight. It makes it very difficult to cheat.
The sequence then begins by doing 7 reps of the lunge by straightening your leg until the coupon hits your hamstring. After the 7 reps you go back to the starting position and begin a 10 count hold. (REPEAT SEQUENCE FOR 7 ROUNDS (COUGH COUGH sometimes 8 rounds)…
We didn’t have enough cinderblocks for everyone to do the sequence at the same time so half the group did merkins and held a plank in the same cadence as everyone else. Rinsed and repeated on the opposite leg (and did squats and al gores the second round instead of merkins)
Great job men!
We walked back over to center court and did a core sequence that got named “Slot Machines” which really turned out to be quite effective.
We went back to the monkey bars and did some forearm and grip training by hanging on a bar for different lengths of time interspersed with merkins.
We circled up, counted off, and Waterpik closed us out.
(Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. We thank you for your patience. Enjoy the Zoo-rich Classic)
…ning!!!!
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INFERNO – 9 CIRCLES OF HELL – from Zoolander
The Northshore beatdown on Holy Saturday was themed around Dante’s Inferno. A group of 18 Pax, including a guest appearance from the Southshore’s SOGO, descended upon the Lakefront for 9 Circles of Hell. Warmup exercises were completed in reverse cadence (4-3-2-1) to align with the date (4/3/21) and to remind everyone it was Cowbell’s birthday. We traveled 9 blocks, circling up at each one to perform the 66 exercises illustrated below. Lots of Mumble Chatter, especially at Circle no. 2. We finished at the shovel flag with some Absolution, completing 666 total reps (or there about) for the day.
Announcements:
– Northshore 5 year Convergence to be led by Waterpik on Saturday 4/10.
– Fia/F3 mixer at the Gipper on 4/29 at 6:30pm.Cowbell prayed us out. Happy Easter to all.
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Blimps and core corners – from Jose10k
Blimps, 5,10,15,20,25,30 while running the parking garage between each exercise. Then we did the core corners. 20 reps each corner, first right elbow to left knee, then left elbow to right knee, leg lifts, big boy sit-ups
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Dreams Do Come True – A Tribute to MLK – from Akbar
YHC arrived at the Marsh to a cool 32 degrees this morning. While Grover and I sat in the car for a pre-thang warm up, we were not the first to arrive. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a lone figure doing Burpees. At first I thought it was @Cowbell, since he left the only reply to my Pre-Blast about F2 after the beatdown. But no, it was none other than Russo. His Burpees were polished, in cadence, reminiscent of Mr. Miyagi’s flowing Crane kick. Alas, Cowbell did not show.
Today we would celebrate Martin Luther King. A man with humble beginnings who had a dream that did come true.
Warm Up: Grass Grabbers, Plank Jack, Self-Love, Big Arm Circles (front and back), Torso Twist IC x10-20
Thang
Modified Hero WOD for MLK based on events in his life.
*The first 3 events, second exercise were 1 is 1; the rest of the second exercises were 2 is 11929: Born in Atlanta
19 Merkins 29 High Knees
1944: King entered Moorehouse college at the age of 15. He would go on to receive a Bachelors in Divinity from Crozer Seminary and a Doctorate degree from Boston University’s School of Theology
19 Freak Nasty’s 44 Randy’s (arms, up in field goal position, lower down and back up)
1946: Atlanta Constitution publishes a letter to the editor from King stating black people should have same rights and opportunities as all American people
19 Block Curls 46 Butt Kicks
1955: The Montgomery Bus Boycott with Rosa Parks, King is thrown in jail for protesting
19 Block Rows 55 Moroccan Night Clubs
1956: US Supreme Court affirms Browder V Gayle – declaring Montgomery and Alabama bus segregation laws unconstitutional. King is one of the first to ride a bus with whites.
19 Goblet Squats 56 Mountain Climbers
1960: King met with Lyndon Johnson, Dwight Eisenhower and John F Kennedy to discuss racial inequality
19 Shoulder Thrusts 60 Butt Kicks
1963: The march on Washington DC, Kings I Have a Dream speech
19 Merkins 63 Step Ups
1964: King receives the Nobel Peace Prize and the Civil Rights Act of 1964 is passed
19 Freak Nasty’s 64 Freddy Mercury’s’
1965: The 54 mile march from Selma, Alabama to Montgomery ending at the Edmund Pettus Bridge. Riots broke out and this day would be known as Bloody Sunday.
19 Block Curls 65 Lunges
1968: King assassinated in Memphis, TN
19 Block Rows 68 Arm Circles
1986: Inaugural Martin Luther King Day
19 Goblet Squats 86 100’s
1/18/21: MLK today
18 Shoulder Thrusts 21 Burpees
Mary IC
M: 20 Merkins
L: 50 LBC’s
K: 20 Knee Raises
Heels to Heaven, Hands to Heels, Crunch Frogs for (the missing) Cowbell x10 ICCount, Name-O-rama
Announcements: Krazy Ivan, Run Cajun Run (replacing Run Ranger Run)
Although Russo, Waterpik, and The Pelican had to work, the rest of us had a great breakfast and F2 at the Waffle House.
Always great to hang with you guys for F3 and F2. Thanks for letting me lead
SYITG,
Akbar
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Intensify to Modify: Pickaxe’s First Q
It was a frigid morning along the lakefront the 2nd day of Christmas. While 9 year old Pickaxe, in his, ahem, first Q of his young F3 career, did not give a Tujague’s recipe for the crawfish caught in Arabi (Uptown Chalmette if you’re from Da Parish), he did come bearing gifts, 12 in fact. However, these were ones we COULD wait to open, as each contained 2 various and sundry exercises for the PAX, one on the foray out, one on the way back.
Prethang:
Pickaxe and his dad, The Hammer, forsook the traditional 2 mile pre-thang in order to lay the 12 gifts with great care along the 1/2 mile path to the beach. The 12 packages came in different colors: red, silver, and gold. This would be important, as Pickaxe instructed the color of each package determined the number of repetitions for the exercised contained therein, as well as the mode of transportation to the next box. The directive was as follows:
Gold: 10 reps/each exercise, Karaoke to next box
Red: 20 reps/each exercise, sprint to next box
Silver: 30 reps/each exercise, bear crawl to next box.
Full Disclosure: When assisting Pickaxe with laying out the gifts, The Hammer was only thinking of the challenges on the way out. As such, the way out brought a long (read: 200 yard) sprint followed by a short bear crawl. On the way back, however, that meant a 200 yard bear crawl. As Pickaxe would say, “Intensify to Modify”.
Each member of the PAX would take turns opening the gifts, then calling out the exercise they “unwrapped”, there being 24 in total, covering upper body, lower body, and core. A particularly tough gauntlet was a series of 30 8 count bodybuilders, with a bear crawl leading to 20 burpees, followed by a long sprint. Pickaxe insisted the exercises were blindly placed in each box so that he knew not the order, nor the quantity. This series caused some to question the 9 year old. Intensify to modify.
When the PAX returned to the flag, we circled up for Mary, finishing up with Hello Dollies, Freddy Mercuries, 100s, and a Mission Impossible plank (SIDENOTE: The series/movies should be named Mission Improbable, not Impossible. Think about it. If true, it would’ve been a single episode series, and the ending would not have been a happy one.)
COT, then Russo prayed us out. Pickaxe is grateful to have had the opportunity to lead, and his dad is grateful to befriend a group of men that would give him the opportunity to do so. Merry Christmas, God Bless, and SYITG!
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Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground
So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.
First: Special Shoutouts —
Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX
Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.
Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!
Now onto the beatdown:
0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.
0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.
Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:
The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird
U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer
Some Moby Song —Moby Dick
Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander
The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo
To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.
So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500
Halfway home by coffeeteria!
PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.
PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s
6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)
…And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.
Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.
For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!
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No Burpees Were Performed At This Beatdown
YHC issued a GroupMe message last night in an attempt to lure a few more bodies over to The A1C: no gloves required. That’s right, no coupons. No bear crawls. Hell, I’d even drop burpees from the menu! (This, of course, was more of a technicality, as you’ll see below.) Unfortunately, the bait didn’t quite work. Maybe everyone’s resting in preparation for the Butt Splice beatdown tomorrow (which is probably wise).
One of the things I’ve enjoyed about The A1C is the traveling jukebox that accompanies the pax to each station. When YHC showed up early, Jose had the tunes blaring, and was running all-out sprints. We’re talking Cowbell/In Time speeds here. The man was moving. I had planned to join him on a light jog, but when he barreled past I was having second thoughts. Luckily, 10k slowed it down for me and soon after, Akbar and BBQ pulled in so we began.
Warmorama: Self love, arm circles, air presses, SSH’s, slow squats, IW’s, windmills, seal jacks, all IC at or around 15x.
Thang: First up, a trip to the back of the courtyard for a partner routine. P1 grabs a bench and does 2x irkins, walks hands down to ground, 2x merkins, walks back up and repeats until P2 relieves him. P2, meanwhile, bunny hops down the corridor and up the stairs, does 15x smurf jacks and runs back. Flapjack.
Continued this idea with P1 switching to horizontal squats (x5, feet on bench) followed by shoulder taps (x5, feet still on bench), repeated until P2 returns from lunging corridor and doing 15x star jumps at top of stairs. Final one was irkins then flip over for freak nasties repeated, with P2 bunny hopping and doing 15x Sister Mary’s up top.
Once completed, we headed back to the parking garage for a series of deconstructed burpees: 12x squats, 12x merkins, 12x groiners, 12x jump squats. Run the ramp up to the top, then perform the same series, decreasing by x2. Back down and up the ramp until we reached 2x everything. Unfortunately we lost Jose (and thus our traveling jukebox) around this time, but the pax powered through the final minutes.
Circle up for a COP: plank and chat about Akbar’s relentless set of interviews, mountain climbers IC x20, rotate circle clockwise, plank a bit more, right arm high, left arm high, plank jacks IC x20, rotate circle counter-clockwise, plank a bit more, then knock out 10x merkins on your own.
It was safe to do a quick set of sprints now that Jose had left (mixed in with some Peter Parkers and shoulder taps), before finally settling down for some scorpion kicks followed by Mary: heel pulses, leg raises, LBC’s, and hello Dolly’s, x12 IC.
COT with BBQ praying us out. Thank you men for the opportunity to lead, for posting early on a Friday morning and pushing me to get better, and thanks to Jose for taking the initiative to get this Friday beatdown going. What better way to kick off a Friday than with you guys?
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Main Event Was Not a Work Out
Yes, you guessed it! The main event surrounded Jose’s pride and joy–his sweat jug! You remember… the one that some of his teacher friends reportedly spotted in the back seat of his car during a recent, quick trip for lunch. Mickey D’s, anyone? Just imagine the ‘splainin that must have taken place on that ride. Oh, to have been a fly on the windshield that day. To the amazement of the Northshore PAX, Jose 10k, in typical F3 fashion, rose to the, ahem, “challenge” and filled his sweat jug in a measley 16 DAYS! I’m sure in Zoo’s wildest dreams he did not figure he’d be getting doused on the Lakefront on September 12th. If I were a betting man, Halloween would be where I placed my moolah. And I’d imagine that’s what Zoo was counting on, too. But, not Jose. He “squeezed” in about 4 T-shirts a day! Let’s count em. 1) The beatdown in the gloom. 57 straight, but who’s counting? 2) ISI 3) mowing the lawn (everyday???) 4) moving Goose out of his house (lagniappe). 5) Who knows what else? It’s Jose. The man never stops!
So there we were. Zoolander. Jose 10k. The entire F3 Northshore PAX. And the Smelly Bucket of Sweat with that BROWN STUFF at the bottom. Does anyone know what that stuff was? I was afraid to ask. Anyway, back to the moment. It was time for Jose to do the honors. And that he did, launching the Lowe’s bucket full of brown, rancid, baked / aged sweat at Zoolander, blasting him squarely in the chest. Zoo, then did the best thing he could to quickly cleanse the body, jumped in the Lake. But, hey, I give Zoolander credit; he took it like a man. The anticipation was palpable, Jose was giddy, and Zoo, a man of his word, was brave. And the PAX? We were nauseated, looking at the rife liquid in the bucket. The Hammer said he turned around so he didn’t barf. And poor Zoo, I don’t think he would have ever heard the end of it if he tried to get out of it. So T-Claps to him, for coming up with the challenge and taking it like and man, and to Jose, for filling the bucket so quickly, so we all could get a good laugh.
Did I mention there were 2 beatdowns today?
Well, there was, and the toughest one is part of a nationwide F3 challenge sponsored by F3 Greenwood, South Carolina. It’s called the Iron Pax Challenge, and it’s not for the faint of heart. After a brief warmup of Seal Jacks, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, and Imperial Walkers, Steve led the Iron Paxers to the west on the Lakefront for a grueling 43 minute circuit beatdown, where the PAX moves from one station to the next, carrying a cinder block coupon, doing exercises along the way try in AMRAP fashion.
Of course, it should come as no surprise that the Iron PAXers acquitted themselves admirably with the following rep counts:
TankedUp – 651
The Hammer – 545
Butt Splice – 528
Zoolander – 490
Jose 10k – 486
Toto – 450
T-Claps to all PAX willing to endure Iron PAX. It definitely is a DOWNPAINMENT!
Meanwhile, YHC led the rest of the PAX Eastward for a series of Tabata sets. Clock set for 30 second sets, with 30 secs of rest between. Exercises were merkins, plank Jacks, jump squats, smurf jacks, flutter kicks, Apollo Ono’s, monkey humpers, and leg raises.
Mosey to playground equipment at East end of Lakefront for 4 rounds of the following exercise:
19 Merkins (commemoration of 19 yr anny of 9-11-01)
Bear Crawl 20 yards
Pop up and Run around perimeter of entire fence at east end of lakefront, back to starting line.
Rinse and Repeat 4 times.
Mosey back to Flag.
Thanks for the entertainment today, Zoolander and Jose 10k! We enjoyed it!
Prayers for our nation and for those families affected by the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks. May we always REMEMBER. STAY VIGILANT. STAY STRONG
Thanks for following my lead today, guys.
COT and thanks to Russo for praying us out!
