I should be in better shape by now. I haven’t been as intense as many of you, and I’ve definitely taken some chunks of time off, but I keep coming back. I come back because of you. Thanks for pushing me harder than I ever would have gone on my own.
We did a workout that followed the evolution of what types of exercises were popular in each of the last five years (at least through the eyes of Maverick – maybe your experience was different).
We kicked things off with a 2015 style warmup:
Side straddle hops, imperial walkers, peter parkers, parker peters, and some arm circles.
And then off to what I remember doing lots of in 2015: Animal Planet. Spider Crawl, Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Backwords Bear Crawl.
Then in 2016 running workouts with stations became popular:
To re-live that we had four stations around Noah’s Arc. 1st: 5 burpees, 2nd: 20 merkins, 3rd: 30 squats, 4th: 40 LBCs. oh – and from this point forward anytime we heard “Sudden Change” shouted we all had to stop where we were and do 5 burpees. This happened several times during the workout. A pax popularized this in 2016 but it hasn’t been much since.
In 2017 I remember partner exercises being in vogue:
So we did a partner carry, leg throws, swap, repeat. Then a wheelbarrow with our partner, leg throws, etc..
In 2018, I moved to the Northshore and remember several rounds of Tabata. I might have brought a few of those. Quick modified Tabata with high knees, butt kicks, flutter kicks, and mountain climbers.
In 2019 games became popular. These have been some of my favorite workouts. We brought back a game played on the southshore one crazy morning in 2016 which was ultimate frisbee but the catch was we could only move by bear crawl. Ugh. We used a football and only got to do a couple of drives because of time.
That brings us to 2020. Who knows what new exercises we’ll be doing this year, but we’re off to a good start. We did partner merkins. Maybe its new, I don’t know. Saw it in a NYC subway station a few weeks ago. Strange. Face your partner – merkin together, come up and give your partner five with your left hand, repeat with right hand, we did this x20.
And finally we brought back something I did on my VQ. I was scanning the F3 wesbite looking for something unique to bring and not disappoint. I found Roxanne which has been a staple ever since. It doesn’t disappoint – still feeling it.
That’s it. Thanks for a good 5 years. Hopefully many more to come.
Welcome Diplomat!
We closed with these words which are possibly attributed to Mother Theresa:
People are often
unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive
them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The
good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
YHC ate way too much over his Christmas break and so was quick to respond to Steve’s call to Q this morning. After joining Legal, Hammer and Zoolander for a little Foreplay in the Gloom, YHC circled up the PAX, partnered up with Grover and got down to business with a warmup.
YHC and Grover rotated warmup exercises of Imperial Walkers, SSHs, Hillbillys, Seal Jacks, Butt Kicks and High Knees, all 20x IC. Good job Grover in leading for the first time.
The PAX then headed down the Lakefront for a set of Dora 1-2-3s with a partner: 100 hand release Merkins, 200 45 degree lunges, and 300 SSHs with bear crawls and crab walks in between.
After a brief recovery walk and a short mosey a little further eastward down the Lakefront, YHC set up a few cones for a version of Catch Me if You Can. Partner 1 backpedals about 10 yards from cone 1 to cone 2 while Partner 2 holds at cone 1. As soon as Partner 1 hits cone 2, Partner 2 sprints to try to beat his backpedaling partner to cone 3 about 30 yards away. Recovery walk back with the partners switching spots and then repeating.
Three more sets with three different partners and it was time to dig into the bag of tricks to retrieve a ball for the next stage of our beat down.
The PAX divided into three teams, each with a ball, for a race to the Harbor playground. Despite HanDcock, Esquire’s attempt to confuse matters with lawyerly questions, the rules were very simple for the race: PAX cannot run when holding the ball and each time the ball hits the ground the entire team has to do one burpee before getting underway again. Serious high jinx ensued, and YHC cannot even remember who won except that it wasn’t his team.
The PAX then hit some staggered Merkins and took a brief reprieve and then it was a race back to the starting point, this time using only your non-dominant hand to catch and throw.
Mosey to the virtual shovel flag for some Mary with dynamic back and front planks.
Countorama, nameorama and Goose led us out in prayer on our way to the coffeeteria.
Moleskin
If you are old and grumpy like YHC and think that our youth should be doing something other than spending all of their time glued to their phones, then you need to meet 9 year old Bear and 17 year old Grover. Bear can bear crawl like, well, a bear and singlehandedly kept his team in contention for the ball games this morning and his dad honest on the hand release Merkins. Grover quickly accepted YHC’s invitation to lead this morning’s warmup and cheerfully executed like a seasoned veteran. It is absolutely fabulous to see these two young men join their dads in the Gloom. Mathlete and Akbar should be very proud of their 2.0s.
The Krazy Ivan is coming up, Comrades. All Northshore PAX need to clear their calendars for the evening of January 18th. It is imperative that we have maximum participation. The Southshore PAX have been gloating over last year’s victory and posting pictures of themselves with the Freedom Hammer all year. It’s enough to make you sick.
Was it as epic as expected? You bet. There were packs of wild dogs, gators lying in wait in the shallow ditches of Abita Springs, machete-wielding vagabonds hiding under the overpass, and, of course, 9 pairs of utterly destroyed feet.
As you might expect, this group of men started out strong. After a quick COT where Tank prayed us in with blessings and thoughts of safety, we set out. At this point there was still a good deal of revelry happening on Girod Street, where Sips of the Season was winding down and more than a few men were teetering in and out of bars. Caught one doing the sidewalk, using the hedges to try and keep upright. Little did we know we’d have roughly the same gait by the end of the night.
But we passed the revelry with a smile and a bounce in our step, ready to tackle the road ahead. Gideon – the Navy Seal of Netflix and Pizza – got the party started with a killer mix, and we were off. Running now at a brisk pace, more than a few of us looked around and wondered, “Wait, didn’t we say we were walking this thing?”
Getting to the Abita Trailhead (approx 9.5 miles in) was relatively quick. Took a short break (with open facilities near midnight, no less), and forged ahead. Now here’s where things started getting dicey. Jose and Moby had decided early on that they’d keep at a brisk walking pace, and so the rest of the overzealous gang started seeing a bit of separation from them. A few of us would run back and check in but eventually they seemed to be going pretty steady, and so everyone just kept moving. Shortly after hitting the Abita trailhead, the trace goes pretty dark, a little less residential, and a lot more wooded. Being the merry band of travelers that we were, we happened to rouse a few wild dogs in the woods. Tank was in the lead when the barking began, and when it was clear they were following us, he quickly circled back to the group ready for war. The dogs stayed with us for a block or so, obscured by the woods, with Tank flashing his lights in and catching the glint of at least 5 pairs of eyes. As you can imagine, Tank was fired up. He flipped his headlamp into strobe mode (hoping to give our canine friends a seizure, or at the very least some confusion), Speedy pulled out a small knife, and there was a good half hour discussion on the weapons that would need to be crafted for the return trip through that section (Spears, bats with barbed wire, you get the idea). The dogs probably sensed all the testosterone and fell back as we forged ahead. (Either that or they were simply residential dogs behind a wire fence that couldn’t we couldn’t see, but hey, not a theory YHC was ready to verify!)
Soon thereafter we reached The Gipper and collectively felt pretty darn good about ourselves. Roughly halfway and everyone was still feeling fresh. Moby had been picked up by Vickie in Abita Springs and it was time to check in with Jose, who had now been traveling solo for a few miles. Tank was quite worried about the pack of wild dogs, and sent Jose an urgent text message warning him of the dangers ahead. Unfortunately, some other “Richard” in Tank’s address book would be receiving that midnight message about the wild dogs of Abita, os Tank was not wearing his reading glasses at the time. For some reason, YHC imagines that other Richard will not be that surprised.
Hammer kept it old school and broke out the Big League Chew, and after another short break, the men turned back to head for Mandeville. Covington turned out to be just as active as Girod street had been hours ago – and, with all the drunken revelry surrounding us, more than a few men were reminded of the time we bear crawled down Bourbon Street for the Grow Ruck.
Apparently Jose had turned on the heat after passing Abita as we caught him just a few yards shy of the infamous Butter Krisp and, for a brief moment, the group was in tact. At some point YHC got a little too close to a gator, who’s loud dash into the ditch sent me nearly knocking over Wacker. (A scene reminiscent of that Captain Sparkles surprise attack at the Scramble.).
Tank, Jose, and YHC eventually slowed down while the rest of the gang moved onward at a steady clip.
Jose was undaunted by all Frank’s talk of rabid dogs, and in fact, he started heckling them as we got close. Tank tried to quiet him and Jose said hey, if a dog attacked him, he’d sue the hell out of the owners. Tank explained that it was a poor area and he probably wouldn’t get much. Jose said, “That’s fine, I’ll liquidate their assets.”
Tank’s reply?
“I’ll liquidate those dogs’ nuts if I have to.” Cue the grunting and strobing headlamps.
Meanwhile, Speedy hit a physical and mental wall at Koop Drive and wasn’t sure he’d be able to continue. The men stopped to support him, but not for long, as Speedy drew down deep, found some reserves, and pushed ahead.
Tank, Jose and I made it through Abita without incident, and, after telling the legend of the machete man who lives under the overpass, we started approaching Koop Dr. Once there, Jose told Tank and I to turn it on, that he’d be fine the rest of the way.
Took a bit to catch up with the rest of the men, who had adopted a new strategy in our absence – run a song / walk a song. This was a total crapshoot with Gideon’s mix, knowing that there’d an 8-minute Rebirth song hitting at some point. But it was a great distraction and we quickly found our way to Grandmother’s tunnel for a photo op, before hitting the Mandeville trailhead.
Another break, Butt Splice bandaged a badly blistered foot, and onward we went.
It all got a bit blurry at this point, but here are a few things I remember: Tank and Bush passing me at the lakefront for their final mile, doing it at an under 8 minute pace; the heroic image of Speedy, who thought he was done 10 miles back, running to Survivor with fists in the air to the finish line; Splice, feet wounded but patiently awaiting the sunrise that would bring his hour-long Q.
The entire group finally laid out on the lakefront lawn, just in time for Garfield to show up, stretching for the a Saturday morning pre-thang. To no one’s surprise, Tank ran the pre-thang like he hadn’t just run/walked 33 miles. And then, Splice Q’d the hourlong beatdown like the beast that he is, and unabashedly included many, many box jumps.
33 miles. 1/3 of our final goal, and it was hard. Really hard. The road ahead to the hundo is dark, and yet because of you guys, YHC is undaunted. This night made us stronger, more prepared, and more knowledgeable. Most of all, it made us realize the incredible fortitude of the men around us. Success or failure, Hundo, here we come.
10 men braved the Olga aftermath to see what was on the No Power Menu this past Saturday. YHC may not be able to remember much of what was actually on the menu, but I can tell you what was not on the menu: a fun game of mud football wasn’t (or, really, any “fun” in general); a beatdown with a clear vision wasn’t; and a fast cup of strong coffee at coffeeteria wasn’t either. But more on that later.
First, there was much mumblechatter and confusion as to what exactly happened to Wacker. He had posted on the GroupMe that Olga had “slipped in last night and screwed things up.” But many men hadn’t heard that the tropical storm had been named and so, naturally, thought a Russian woman had slipped into Bush’s bed. Obviously, there was a lot of concern and alarm until it was revealed Olga was “not the Russian lady he did that run with a few weeks ago.”
Now, the beatdown. Nevermind that YHC can’t remember the specifics of the warmorama (it’s pretty much the same 15 or so exercises anyway, right?), more of note was that it had to be the darkest warmorama on record. With the power out in the entire neighborhood, it really couldn’t be any darker (unless, of course, we lost the light coming from Hammer and Pik’s phones). YHC kept thinking, how can we do anything in this darkness? No bear crawls, no suicides – what are we gonna just sit in a circle and do side straddle hops all morning??
So… after some SSH’s, we carefully tread over to the playground equipment for a round of 7’s: pull-ups to merkins. Then over to the benches for a second set of 7’s: Freak Nasties to Bulgarians (admittedly, Bulgarians were a bit ill-conceived due to the awkwardness of having to do each leg).
Then carefully back to center court for a set of 1 minute AMRAPs, dealer’s choice: we went around the circle and each man picked an exercise. I can’t remember the exercises: there were merkins, there were jump squats, there were burpees, oh, and then Maverick showed up about this time and made us do Merkins again.
After that, Tank mercifully took the Q for a moment, just as light was starting to peek through. He had us do runs across the court, with a merkin at each end. About 5 laps here to get the heart rate going.
YHC took the Q back for what I thought could be an interesting one: partner up for the slowest Catch Me If You Can ever. P1 will inchworm down the block, P2 will perform 10 merkins, 10 squats, and 10 LBCs, before bear crawling to catch and replace P1. YHC thought it would be fun to go sightseeing down the block (now that there was light) where there were downed power lines, fallen trees, frantic cars, and all sorts of other fun stuff to dodge. But the wise Hammer pulled us back to the safety of the court. This exercise turned out to be not so fun in the end anyway.
Then we split into two teams of 5 and did a relay race across the court. Jose ran so fast that I think he ran straight outta the court and into the home across the street, but he did seal the tie for his team. So, 20 burpees for all.
And… what else? Ah, we finished with a round of Mary: again, a 1 minute AMRAP, dealer’s choice, around the circle. And again, YHC cannot recall the exact exercises, but does remember that Pik had us do calf raises, because I remember thinking, “this isn’t core,” but hey, fair game nonetheless. And Turbo had us do Scuba Steves. And Jose pulled out his fave – Jane Fondas, 1 minute each leg to close it all out.
COT where Tank took center stage to announce the Hundo, which is gaining some traction despite its utter insanity. You gotta love these guys. Akbar prayed us out and then we were on our way in search of coffee. Despite the citywide outage, this group of stragglers wouldn’t take no for an answer and found the local Waffle House to be incredibly accommodating despite the lack of power. T-claps to our cheery waitress, who put up with Hammer’s constant tea refills and a bunch of sweaty guys that had no intention of eating. In the company of these men, that weak, slow-drip coffee was some of the best I’ve ever had.
So while we may never know if those eighteen year olds were able to pull their truck out with bungee cords, like much in life, some things are just better left to the imagination. Gents, thanks for the opportunity to co-lead with Tank, I believe I can speak for both of us when I say that it’s a privilege and honor that we don’t take for granted.
Like the men of F3, Waffle House plans for the expected, but is prepared for the unexpected.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, and…. yes, it was certainly the age of foolishness.
The Pax were presented with two choices this morning, follow the Wacker of Bushes off to the Marsh where 35 lbs. cinderblocks awaited them or, for a potentially less-painful option, follow YHC into the unknown. So the Pax split, the Iron Pax-ers heading off to fulfill the week 3 challenge, and those who had already completed it stayed behind.
Warmorama: 10x merkins OYO, arm circles, air presses, IWs, SSHs, high knees, all at various reps IC.
Thang:
Bear crawl approximately 400 yards to the lakefront gazebo. Caveat: if you need to pause for rest, perform 10x merkins then jog to catch up with the man in the lead. YHC declines to say whether or not this was intended to make the PAX rethink their choice of beatdowns but, impressively, there was relatively little grumbling. That is how difficult the IP challenges are – the minds of the PAX have been recalibrated and this – bear crawling 400 yards – is actually better than the alternative. T-claps to Grundy who (YHC believes) was the only one to make it the full distance without stopping.
Next, circle up inside the gazebo for a quick round of squats, 20x IC, before assuming an Al Gore hold while each man takes his turn doing 10x Bobby Hurleys. Turbo explained to the young ‘uns who BH was, and that he did indeed slap the floor as a Duke player. Everyone seemed to sink their shots – with Chewy mixing in a few granny-throws – and we wrapped things up in the gazebo with a round of the ever-popular monkey humpers, x22 IC. A short recovery stumble down the path before moseying to the canal bridge for a partner routine.
Partner 1 heads up the path, over the bridge and down a short distance – to where a young couple was necking in the grass – and then circles back to relieve partner 1, who will begin the cumulative reps of:
50 Burpees
100 Sister Mary’s
150 T-Merkins
200 Squats
150 Freak Nasties
100 Monkey Humpers
50 Burpees
T-claps to the young couple, who YHC figured would relocate to a more private spot within the first 5 minutes. These two, though, persevered the parade of sweaty men and continued to put on a show for nearly the entire duration of our routine. And this routine took some time – especially the t-merkins, which seemed to bring nearly everyone to their knees. Hey, maybe they’re exhibitionists and this is what they came for?
Quick Indian run back to the flag and, with minutes to spare, we knocked out some Jane Fonda’s, quick pulses, and heel-to-knees, 10x IC each leg. Having reached the end, we looked around for our Iron Pax brethren, but to no avail. So, back on our six, we knocked out a bit more: flutters, LBCs, and Freddie Merc’s, all 20x IC. A quick look around again but, alas, still no one in sight.
Time to call it – so we circled for countdown, nameorama, and COT. Shooter prayed us out with intentions for recently slain Captain Vincent Liberto and his family. Liberto, a father of seven, had served the Mandeville police department for over 25 years and was known to be a good man, who served his country and community with pride. His sacrifice comes as a shock, and is a reminder of just how lucky we are to have such great men and women protect and serve our community.
Soon after, the Iron Pax-ers appeared and we circled up for COT, part deux, this time with Hammer praying us out. Double intentions for Capt. Liberto and his family.
Then it was off to coffetería, where Tank regaled us with warm stories of Italian family gatherings. A near perfect morning. Thanks for the opportunity to lead and get stronger alongside you men.
The Killer B’s ended with a bang Saturday morning, with Grundy taking the Northshore lead by mere seconds. Sure, we could debate the fairness of doing it on the lakefront’s luxurious grass vs. the Marsh’s unyielding concrete, or the legality of the proctor himself taking home first place, but when it comes down to it, we must (begrudgingly) give Grundy due credit (and hate!) – it was a pretty inspirational effort. In fact, Tank was nipping at his heels the entire time and it seems the two were feeding off one another’s energy to push each other to their record times.
So t-claps to those two men for giving it their all and, while we’re t-clapping, we might as well toss another one out to Zoo and his miraculous self-healing leg, for taking the opportunity to hit the challenge for a second time and improve upon his score. Alright, the rundown:
Usual pre-thang 2 miler featured guest appearances by both Bushwacker and Garfield, and then we went right into the warmorama: Arm circles (forward/back), IW’s, copperhead squats, toe touches, hillbillies, SSHs, mountain climbers, all x20 IC.
Thang: Half the PAX followed Grundy to complete the IP challenge, while those that had already had their fill followed YHC.
First stop on our tour of the lakefront was an old favorite that can be difficult to use with a large pax: Rips. Instead of the traditional stair run/Rocky Balboa’s, though, we simply grabbed a handrail and did one legged negative calf raises, at a slow cadence: x15 per leg.
Then, eastward towards the baseball field, stopping for a quick COP of high knees and a burpee wave. About 6 rounds, and then onward…
To the pull-up bars behind the baseball field. Circled up on our six for flutter kicks, while 2 men got up to do 5x pull-ups. Around the circle again and again and again, until each man had 25 pull-ups. We maxed out on flutters and at some point switched to Freddie Mercs, which did not really help all that much.
Next up, flip over to a plank for plank jacks, while 2 men got up to do hanging knee tucks x10. Round the circle a few times, switching about halfway to shoulder taps, until each man had 30 tucks.
Mosey back towards the boat launch to split into two teams for a 100-yard sprint relay race. Losing team gets hit with 25 burpees, winning team gets 25 merkins. (YHC has learned that, in the realm of F3, the winning team never takes the easy way and sits out on the work so why even bother pretending there’s a reward.) With Bean pulling double duty for Team 2 to secure the win, they performed their merkins and then jumped in to help Team 1 finish up with their burpees. And then everyone took a page from Pik, who’s been keeping Old Mandeville clean for the better part of two years, and did a quick sweep of beer bottles before heading over to the playground for a quick partner routine.
P1 holds people’s chair while doing air presses, P2 bear crawls up the small hill to the swingset pad for 10 merkins and then bunny hops back down to flapjack with P1.
Just enough time to Indian Run back to Rips, get in one more set of calf raises (x10 each leg this time), and back at the flag for a round of boxcutters, x20 IC. The rest of the gang joined us at this point, looking thoroughly destroyed, and we circled up for COT. Zoo encouraged all to share the gift of F3 and bring out some new brothers, and Maverick took us out with a prayer, encouraging us to be men of strength. Then off to coffeeteria. Thank you men for the opportunity not only to lead, but to get stronger and sharper alongside you.
Everyone can finish the saying, “When life gives you lemons…”. But not everyone knows how to complete the saying, “When life gives you cinderblocks….” So let YHC help everyone out; “when life gives you cinderblocks, you use them in your workouts!!!”
The PAX learned the truth of this saying this morning in a more than intellectual level. And even though this workout was very difficult, I would argue that all the blame should be placed on TurboTax. For he’s the one who lent me his cinderblocks. I take no responsibility, Turbo should have known better.
So after a disclaimer was given, the fun began.
Warmup
Side straddle hop In cadence to 52! I wanted the pax to remember Dredd’s saying when he came down for our GrowRuck, “Be prepared for the expected, but be ready for the unexpected.” Doing side straddle hops to 52 definitely drove that idea home.
Then we did:
Windmills in cadence, and a shoulder series warmup in cadence.
The Thang
Moseyed to the opening before the bridge where the Grundymobile was parked with the aforementioned cinderblocks. But first we did something called the welsh dragons.
Welsh Dragons: Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We went until We reached 10 reps each and covered 30-50 feet.
Then the Q realized he had left the keys to his car back at the flag… So the Pax got a 5 minute plank/rest while the Q ran back to grab them. I’m sure everyone held a plank the whole time…
Upon returning, the grundymobile was opened and the cinderblocks were distributed. It was time for the main event. Everyone partnered up (some teams had 3 people), and we did a Dora 1, 2, 3 with cinderblocks. Round 1 (100 step ups on to the sea wall with the cinderblock) partner 2 ran to the walkway and did 3 burpees and returned to take over the rep count. Round 2 (200 kettlebell swings), and round 3 (300 overhead presses).
There was much pain involved but kudos to all of the pax for pushing through! We returned the cinderblocks and moseyed/walked back to the flag for some Mary.
Like the beginning of the workout, be ready for anything. Like Little Manny crunches in cadence to 53!!!
Circled it up and Manny closed us out wonderfully.
The mumble chatter started the previous night at the successful meet n greet campaign party for our very own Hammer about the fact that if Turbo had the Q for Saturday, then it was either fun n games or, more likely, plenty of running, much to the consternation of more than one PAX both present and away. While, in a sense, fun n games were in fact afoot, today was a run day!
WARMORAMA
x20 IC:
Seal Jacks
Imperial Walkers
Toe Touches
THANG
Mosied westward down the lakefront for a stretch before we stopped for some merkins. Continued up Marigny and stopped for some Mountain Climbers. Finished up at the Marsh where we partnered up for a little competiton.
4 4 minute rounds with a running total per team:
Round 1- P1 SSH while P2 runs to opposite side of the court and performs 2 Burpees
Round 2- P1Butt Kicks, P2 2 180 degree hops
Round 3- P1 Lateral Hops, P2 2 Tuck (Squat) Jumps
Round 4- P1 imaginary Jump Rope, P2 2 Bobby Hurleys
In between each round was 30 seconds rest, 1 minute of Plank, and 30 more seconds of rest. Teams that scored under 82 total points (all?) dropped for 10 penalty burpees.
Next, the Pax split evenly and competed head-to-head in a relay race from one end of the court to the other. The Odd numbered team performed another set of 10 penalty burpees. YHC must note that never has he seen such an intense show of drive and performance from every man at the same time as was displyed during this race!
Same teams did a double-line Indian Run back to the Lakefront, where the PAX planked for the 6, followed by a slow mosy before an all out sprint to the flag.
COUNTORAMA
NAMEORAMA
Naming of FNG Black Cat. Welcome brother, better late than never!
Phoenix prayed us out.
T Claps to Turbo Tax for a well put together, high intensity beat down. It’s always a privilege to follow a great leader. Who says running can’t be fun!
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way…”
Yes, and us polite Northshore`ians would face the uptowners guillotine late Wednseday night. So an easy workout was the call for Wednesday morning.
Here is how it went:
disclaimer
warmup ICx20: ss hops, toe touch, arm circles, good mornings, imperial walkers, high knees, butt-kicks, smurf-jacks
mosey to the Taj-Mahal: circle up around the flag pole for a ring of fire – pushups and bear crawl clockwise, pushups and bear crawl counter clockwise.
step over to the nearby “Grassy Knoll” for 10 sprawls and 10 roll-ups
mosey to the Justice Center parking garage top for a deck of cards routine – using: clubs to do crunches, hearts to do hillbillys, spades to do squats, diamonds to do merkins, joker to do wife pleasers. When a “2” card turned up, we did a 2 minute plank
mosey back to the flag as time expired.
Shooter prayed us out with a good one.
Thanks guys – it’s always a fun Wednesday morning at The Gipper.
YHC began Wednesday morning like any other Wednesday morning with a quality 45 minute beatdown at Popeyes (this Wednesday led by the always dangerous Darkwing Duck). YHC’s thoughts quickly turned to the Gnarly Nutria as a nutria was spotted by Hokie Pokey running in the grass near the Pax. YHC took this as a strong omen for an upcoming victory for the World. The native nutria had come out from its hole to bless the World on the morning of the Gnarly Nutria.
YHC’s confidence continued to grow as he arrived at the Gnarly Nutria to see members of the World surrounding him as the World came out in force. Surely the World would continue their winning streak and extend their dominance over the Uptowners on their home turf. Reluctant Yankee shouted out the rules and scoring system and led the racers to the starting line.
A record 91 men lined up for the 4th running of the Gnarly Nutria. 51 for the World. 28 for the Uptowners. 12 for the Northshore. After an odd 2 minute countdown, the runners were off in the humidity and the heat for 5.4 miles of sweaty, stupid joy.
As YHC rounded the first turn of the Gnarly Nutria with Tua and Heisenberg by his side, he his extreme confidence in a victory began to fade and he knew the world might be in trouble in spite of their superior numbers. A mass of Uptowners burst forward past him with a speed the World would be unable to match.
Then the funk hit. YHC doesn’t want to know what the Uptowners are doing in their fabled Audubon park but the stink of the park was strong last night and surely slowed down the time of the World and the NorthShore who aren’t accustomed to the Uptown Funk.
Flatline can hold his head high and claim the title “Fastest Man in F3NOLA” for the next 12 months. Flatline finished the Gnarly Nutria IV in a blistering fast 33 minutes. ESPN8 came in second with 35 minutes. In-Time came in third with a time of 38 minutes. Mulligan finished fourth with 39 minutes and Isobar rounded out the top 5 with 39 minutes and 40 seconds.
4 of the top 5 were Uptowners with In-Time the top finisher for the NorthShore and Shuffles coming in 7th with the top place for the World. Thanks to their domination in speed, the Uptowners overcame the World’s superior numbers.
The Uptowners won Gnarly Nutria IV with 326 points.
The World came in second with 260 points
Northshore came in third with a respectable 127 points coming from only 12 runners.
Tripleshift wins the award for most significant run of the night as he rucksaked the race in honor of Terabyte who went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ earlier this year.
Bogey wins the award for most beautiful face of the night. Thanks for keeping score and being the pretty face waiting for us at the finish line.
The After Party
The Pax of 91 – 5 gathered together for post-race Name-O-Rama and the announcements of the winner and top finishers. The Pax began with a moment of silence and prayer thanking God for Terabyte and the role he played in F3NOLA.
Followed by a far too long Counterama, followed by a far too long Name-O-Rama, the Pax named 9 FNGs. I am guessing that is a new F3NOLA FNG record. Welcome to Mallrats, Bangs, Johnny Football, Polaroid, Mumbles, Body Shots, Incandescent, Apollo, and Hot Pants.
The Pax gathered together for the infamous sweaty ball-o-man as YHC closed the Pax out in prayer thanking God for the evening and asking Him to use F3 to impact the lives of more men in NOLA. F3 means so much to all of us and may we not hog and hide the friendship, accountability, and growth we have received in F3. Continue to find those men at your work, neighborhood, and in your families who are isolated and struggling. The average American man has less than one friend. YHC has 91. You have 91. Pass this friendship on to others.
