F3 New Orleans

Tag: Kilo

  • Nowhere to Hide – from Goose

    It’s tough when FNG’s come on weekdays. Smaller number of PAX means there’s nowhere to hide when you’re just trying to survive, but the soon to be named Roughneck never gave up despite the feeling of drowning that we all remember too well from our own first beatdowns. With YHC, Paradox, and Kilo mumblechattering about highlights from the Zoorich Classic on Saturday and crazy lingo being tossed about in the midst of grunting and sweating, it was with great interior fortitude that Roughneck remained smiling and in good humor to the end.

    Warmup (all in cadence, x20) side straddle hops, windmills, arm circles, imperial walkers, self-love

    Thang 1: Robot Dance (?)
    -Song 1: “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel–plank position for the entirety, but every time we heard “In Your Eyes”, we shifted to the next position in the following order: high plank, mid plank, mission impossible plank, back to mid, back to high, right arm up, left arm up, back to high plank, etc. This one’s over five minutes long, but it felt shorter due to mumblechatter about it likely being a catalyst/accompaniment for the conception of more than one of the PAX back in the 80’s, as well as a history lesson on the connection between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins. This PAX has much to learn.
    -Song 2: “Banana Boat (Day-O)” by Harry Belafonte–similar, but with squats. Every time he said “Day” shift to the next position: standing, mid squat, low squat, mid, back to high, etc. The PAX had much to learn here, as well, about the origins of this song and the experience of banana harvesters. YHC is happy to provide some cultural exposure to these millenial zombies.

    Thang 2: Four corners/Baseball
    1 PAX stationed at each corner of the field (bases) and did as many reps as possible (AMRAP) of the following exercise while PAX at “home plate” completed 15 burpees and ran to 1st, then each advanced to the next base once replaced:
    1st base: merkins
    2nd: squats
    3rd: Big Boy Situps
    Continued until all four PAX had a chance to do burpees at home plate.

    Thang 3: Benchwork
    2 PAX per bench, completed the following, in cadence x20: dips, L-leg step-ups, Irkins, R-leg step-ups, Derkins. Then, rinse and repeat x15. (1:1 for all).

    Back to the flag for Mary: LBC’s, Leg Raises, Freddy Mercury’s

    COT and named the FNG–Welcome Roughneck! Great to have you, man! Awesome work, and looking forward to growing with you!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Holy Thursday–Plenty of Material to Work With – from Goose

    4 PAX gathered in the gloom of an ominous Holy Thursday morning. Lightning flashed and rain threatened throughout, but off in the distance, there were breaks in the clouds that promised a hopeful future. But, until then, there was much to endure:
    Warmup: SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Chinooks (gonna be using those shoulders today), IW, SL

    Thang 1: Passover Prep and Darkness Prowling
    Partner 1 prepped for Passover while Partner 2 prowled in the darkness for three rounds.

    -Round 1: Partner 1–Colt 45’s with coupon (15 curls from waist to chest, 15 curls from thighs to waist, and 15 curls from thighs to chest); Partner 2–Block and bear across the field and back (bear crawl while dragging block forward from between legs/arms).

    -Round 2: Partner 1–Bolt 45’s (15 squats with coupon from upright to halfway down, 15 from halfway down to all the way down, and 15 from all the way down to all the way up); Parter 2–Murder Bunnies w/coupon across the field and back.

    -Round 3: Partner 1–Kettle bell swings until partner 2 returns; Partner 2–rifle carry (overhead) across the field, 10 squat thrusters, and rifle carry back.

    Thang 2: 4 Corners = 4 stages of Holy Thursday night–2 rounds of each

    Washing of the Feet–“If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” (Jn 13:8)
    15 Absolutions (8-count ab killer; look it up). Round 1 was called in cadence; round 2 was not, because YHC needed to breathe.

    Last Supper–“And he took a chalice, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, and they all drank of it.” (Mk 14: 23).
    15 Goblet squats (squats with coupon held vertically under the chin).

    Judas’s Betrayal–” ‘It is he to whom I shall give this morsel when I have dipped it.’….So, after receiving the morsel, he immediately went out; and it was night.” (Jn 13: 26, 30)
    15 Dips, 15 right leg step-ups, 15 dips, 15 left leg step-ups

    Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane–“Father, if you are willing, remove this chalice from me; nevertheless not my will, but yours, be done.”
    Mission Impossible plank (hold one inch off the ground)–PAX counted around in a circle up to 50.

    After Round 1 of this, it was about 6:15, which is our 45 minute stop time, but for some reason, YHC had 6:30 locked in, so after Round 2 began, Enron and Paradox began to mumble on their bench: “Is he going over time? Is there some deeper meaning to this? Did we do something wrong? Did he secretly tell our wives we’d be later than usual?” Then, as we moved into round 2 of the Agony planks, YHC made a joke about “keeping watch for one hour”, which sealed the deal in the PAX’s mind that it we were purposefully going the whole hour, though YHC meant it only as a joke that we’d be planking for an hour if we really loved Jesus. And, just like Peter at the last supper, they were afraid to ask the Q directly, and hoped Kilo, who shared a bench with YHC, would ask. But, Kilo was blissfully without a watch and had no idea he would be late for work today.
    So, we ended with a long sprint, a long carioca, and a long nur, to connect us to the apostles who all fled. And, we completed 6 minutes of Mary.
    Just FYI, going over time, especially 15 minutes over, when the agreed time is 45 minutes is disrespectful to the PAX, and YHC would never purposefully surprise the men with such a move. My deepest apologies! And, thanks for your patience this morning, gents!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Am I My Brother’s Keeper? – from Goose

    YHC had an interesting idea that could either be a memorable challenge, chock full of valuable life lessons, or it would be a total cluster, and nothing in between. So, with a record 6 PAX gathered at The Stage in the gloom of a gorgeous morning, we commenced.

    Warmup: SSH, Windmills, Grass Grabbers (deviations from the norm, duly recognized, are always for a reason), Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Self-Love

    When YHC requested the assistance of JBL, Paradox informed us that JBL was fartsacking (or “charging”); and this after multiple prompts over the past few weeks to take advantage of JBL: “He’s here for you. He’s always ready to provide deep, booming base, and consistent bluetooth connection. Take advantage of his presence and his audio prowess.” But, alas, the first test of “Am I my brother’s keeper?’ resulted in grave failure. So, the morning’s soundtrack was barely audible on the phone speaker and out of YHC’s control, so there’s no telling what the guys closest to it were subjected to.

    Thang: Total Dependency

    PAX lined up and were instructed to observe the exercise of the man to their right and repeat it. Each man was then responsible for completing and displaying that exercise and communicating the number of reps to the man to their left. YHC was first in line and basically took the PAX through an ascending ladder of exercises (listed below), so there was constant movement and constant need to communicate down the line what exercises came next. Each man could only speak to the man next to him, so one-on-one communication was key.

    At first, there was some confusion as to what each PAX was responsible for communicating. Enron almost let Paradox do 25 burpees instead of 25 mountain climbers because he assumed it was a sort of “telephone” type game where misunderstandings were not corrected, but passed on. (That may have been YHC’s fault for explaining the exercise as “sort of like ‘telephone’”.) But, as the beatdown continued, and reminders to “Take care of your brother!” were repeated, the PAX caught on.

    Exercises were done as an ascending ladder (starting with the first, then the first and second, then the first and second and third, etc.):
    5 Burpees
    10 Merkins
    15 Lunges (2:1)
    20 LBC’s
    25 Mountain Climbers
    30 Second plank (4-count to 30)
    35 American Hammers
    40 Side Straddle Hops
    45 Big Boy Situps
    50 Squats (ran out of time for these)

    After count-off and name-off, YHC explained the lessons learned:

    1. Pain and/or pride typically cause us to focus heavily on ourselves and forget about the men around us. But, here, if we were overly focused on our own rep count or just trying to finish, the man next to us would be completely lost. It required much focus on where he was in the series and when he needed what information to continue. This is immediately applicable to life as a married man and as a father. When we’re overly focused on ourselves, either out of self-pity or pride, the people who depend upon us are left in the dark.

    2. Faith is never truly internalized from an expert to a group. It can be understood intellectually, but for a man to take ownership, he must be accompanied intimately by another who’s in the same boat, who’s been down the same road, and who can give both direction and confidence that it’s doable, it’s real, and it’s worth the struggle. Without this one-on-one accompaniment, faith struggles to escape the world of ideas, and we struggle to escape our own doubts and questions.

    COT, excellent prayer, announcements about the clown car trip to the Northshore beatdown on April 23 (Zoorich Classic) and Percleator having to go back to being a weekend warrior (Nooo!).
    It’s such a privilege to be out there with you, fellas!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Great Nursery Rhyme Beatdown of 2022 – from Goose

    Kilo warned us it might happen. “Bring a towel,” he said. “It might be wet out there,” he said. But, little did he or the rest of the PAX know the level of carnage that YHC had in store for this cold, windy, soggy morning. Of course, Cardinal may have used his spiritual upper hand to gain some kind of foresight that led to his admittedly pure, unexcused fartsacking. The rest were caught off guard by what at first seemed to be just a semi-creative way to work through a hard, but not impossible Tabata list. But, then came Jack and Jill…

    Warmup: the usual Goose faves–SSH, WM, AC, IW, and Self-Love with some high knees and butt kicks to wake up the cardio system

    Thang 1: Tabata (“It’s Italian for…”)
    One minute, as many reps as possible (AMRAP) of each of the following exercises, with 30 seconds of rest in between, which was long enough for YHC to explain the next nursery rhyme and its connection to the assigned exercise:
    * Humpty Dumpty—wall sit
    * Jack be nimble—hop back and forth over a line, feet together
    * Sing a song of sixpence—8-count body builders (the king was in his counting house…)
    * Pop Goes the Weasel—monkey humpers
    * Old King Cole—wacky jacks (like a jester)
    * Georgie Porgie—suicides (when the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away)
    * Little Boy Blue—BBS (wake up, boy!)
    * Little Miss Moffet—Dips (rise up off that tuffet!)
    * Peter Peter—Peter Parker Peter
    * Old Mother Hubbard—Nolan Ryans (reaching into a bare cupboard, coming up empty-
    handed)
    * Rockaby Baby—LBC’s
    * Three Blind Mice—mosey to the sidewalk in front of the playground (see how they run).

    Thang 2: Jack and Jill
    Partner up (Jack and Jill): Jack (partner 1) runs up the hill to fetch a pail of water, and does five jump squats at the top before coming back down, while Jill (partner 2) falls down (burpees). Partner 1 takes over the burpee count upon returning until 100 are completed. Then, Jack broke his crown: 100 Carolina Dry Docks, while partner 1 still ran up the hill to do five jump squats. Lastly, Jill came tumbling after, which meant 100 Superman/Canoes while Jack still ran up for jump squats. Superman/Canoes = PAX started on faces in Superman position (arms and legs up), then rolled to the six without the use of hands to Canoe position (head and legs a few inches off the ground, hands down by hips).
    The combination of that many consecutive burpees with jump squats at the top of a small hill seemed to be a new level of suck for many of the Bayou PAX, but complaints were few. Could’ve been because we still hadn’t laid in any cold puddles yet (Superman/Canoes were done on the sidewalk.)

    Thang 3: Deal or No Deal
    YHC left the nursery rhyme theme behind for the last 15 minutes as we moseyed to the practice field and the heretofore hidden F3 Deck of Death was revealed. (Note: the cards are very much waterproof, mudproof, and tear proof, but the box is very much not.) Each PAX was given a chance to pick two cards but only look at the first. They could then decide whether all would complete the first card’s exercise, or blindly commit to the second.
    Though most of the ridiculously hard cards were avoided, the greater majority of exercises chosen seemed to require lying in the mud, so Kilo’s warning was well grounded. Due to the high winds, most PAX were still wearing their sweatshirts (even after Jack and Jill) so they soaked up the frigid puddles like sponges. The mosey back to the flag was heavy and cold, but spirits were high as the proud PAX discussed making t-shirts or getting tattoos that said, “I survived the Great Nursery Rhyme Beatdown of 2022!”

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead and being willing to keep pushing, especially you new guys who are still working through your first weeks of this! And, much gratitude for you somewhat more experienced PAX who have decided that F3 is now a part of how you do life well. Your companionship in the gloom is a gift beyond value!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose