F3 New Orleans

Tag: Kilo

  • The St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    Our tale begins in the spring of 2022 in a small bayou town where a community pharmacy, after taking losses from storm and plague, had great need. After decades of providing vital prescription medicine for those in need, this team of volunteers now searched for the same helping hand. The Pax of F3 Thibodaux heard the call, and a plan was devised. We consulted our sage leader for advice. This HIM had carried the torch of 3Fs from the Mandevillage many moons ago. He knew the way of the pax and was skilled in the smithing of a fine beatdown. He peered into the gloom with a thousand-mile stare and the fate of the fundraiser hung in the balance. “if you build it..they will come” Goose said with a nod and then promptly vanished into a flurry of burpees. With a team formed and a grant secured we dove into the work.
    An event was needed and a place to rally the pax. A race, but not just any race. A challenge of physical and mental strength that would call to the hearts of the Louisiana PAX. A series of pain and cardiovascular torture so intense that no self-respecting HIM of F3 Nola could resist. It was forged in the caves of .word files and hammered through the gmail circuit boards. Welded to perfection one station at a time. A burpee here, a bonnie blair there. Precious metals adorned it at every corner to award prepared pax but many traps lay waiting for poor form. It was written, and it was done and it was beautiful.

    The beacons of aid were lit! Thibodaux called for aid…and our brothers answered.
    39 PAX (including 6 FNGs!) assembled at the stage on a gorgeous bayou morning! They came from northern shores and from western banks. From uptowns and motherships. From Grannies and Lakefronts. They came in calf sleeves, mudgears and some even bare of foot! Namesakes that struck fear like Shooter and Tanked. Some that drew intrigue like Hokie and Hawg. Famed backblasters we had read for years like Steve and Akbar. Even legends of the gloom like Frac and the Reluctant Yankee, who were there when the deep magic was gifted to us from the eastern coast. They followed a lonesome bayou road and mumbled Deliverance jokes along the way. They came as one to help a great cause and lock shields with their brothers in the bayou. The course was set, pleasantries exchanged, and the only thing left to do was make a run at 500. Let’s get to it…

    Warmup

    Goose gave the disclaimer and race details, and pointed out key safety and strategy reminders. Each two-person pax team would start at a numbered station along the course. Once the horn was blown, they would begin at their station and advance. Each station had 3 options: bronze, silver or gold. (Worth 10, 15 and 25 points respectively. So, a perfect score of gold at all 20 stations would reach the mythical 500 points. These corresponded to the number of reps completed by a team combined. They then would grab the token and secure it in an advanced technology carrying case (Ziploc bag). Head for the next station and rinse and repeat until you have finished 20 stations or ran out of time.
    After this was explained he led a thunderous cadence of our usuals stage warmups. This was YHCs first experience with a >20 pax group and the big group energy was powerful

    THE THANG

    Pair up, line up and we were numbered off 1-19 (one team of 3). Each team headed for their station and when GI Joe hit the airhorn it was geaux time. The stations were as follows:

    STATIONS:
    1. Merkins- 40, 80, 120
    2. Bobby Hurleys—30, 60, 90
    3. Freddy Mercuries—50, 100, 200
    4. Coupon Curls—40, 60, 100
    5. SSH: 50, 100, 150
    6. Carolina Dry Docks- 40, 60, 100
    7. Big Boy Sit Ups- Partner does big boys, one partner sprints to next station and back. 100, 150, 200 situps
    8. Side lunges (2 is 1)- 40, 80, 120
    9. Coupon OHP- 40, 60, 100
    10. Burpees- 30, 50, 100
    11. LBC’s- 50, 100, 200
    12. Peter Parker Merkins- 30, 60, 90
    13. Bonnie Blair (2 is 1) 40, 60, 100
    14. Brick Back Flys- 50, 100, 200
    15. Leg Raise Dora – One partner Leg raises, one partner bear crawl to next station and run back. 50, 100 or 200
    16. Mission Impossible Plank- combined time: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes
    17. Coupon Swings- 40, 60, 100
    18. Prisoner Squats – 50, 100, 150
    19. Mountain Climber (2:1) 50, 100, 200
    20. Arm Circles while partner crabwalks to next station and runs back. Complete 100, 200, or 400

    After 1 hour of “Pax vs St. Vincent course” the dust settled and everyone returned to the flag. Chatter was high about the difficulty of the layout, the supreme fun had traversing the course and low rumblings of scores north of 400 permeated the air. A few teams completed counting up their coins while we began the count off, and name off. YHC was impressed with the veteran naming experience of NOLA and northshore pax. Their FNG naming skills were unparalled and we left with six newly minted local PAX: Welcome Sir Lawrence, Kodiak (CodyYak), MeatSweats, One Call, Wallflower and Lambchops. Looking forward to getting yall in the mix.

    Now down to serious business. YHC and Goose dramatically unveiled the official St. Vincent 500 dual trophies for the final presentation. Imagine a 12-inch manifestation of the love child between Hulk and Stretch Armstrong, in a full rage pose. Victory is all he has ever known. After appropriate oooohhhhs and ahhhhsss Goose led a suspenseful point count-off to see who the last team was standing. In the end, the combination of Tanked Up and Speedy Gonzalez tallied 470 points and took home the first annual St. Vincent 500 trophy! T- Claps on those numbers gentlemen. Phenomenal effort. We’ll all be gunning for you next year.

    Coffeeteria after provided by our St. Vincent de Paul board and it was great to get a chance to talk shop with all the pax and compare notes on course strategy.

    YHC could not have envisioned the tremendous amount of support we would receive from both our local community and our F3 community for this cause.
    So grateful for each one of you who spent your weekend time and energy for this event.

    At the time of writing this backblast we have raised $10, 451. 51!! This goes directly to purchase of prescription medicine for those individuals in need. Praise God!

    Thank you for the oppurtunity to lead.

    SYITG,
    Paradox

  • Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste – from Paradox

    One of the many beautiful things about F3 is that beatdowns come in all flavors. Some are slow cooked for that low heat quad burn. Some, pan fried in zoysia and leave you needing 2.5 gallons of Rouses water to lick your wounds. Others, heavy on the spice , with unknown ingredients mixed in ready to ambush you at every dollar store cone. Saturday’s beatdown needed all our pax ingredients to blend together in a synergistic gumbeaux of team building exercises
    It went a little something like this….

    Recipe for Teamwork Gumbeaux
    1 cup extra crispy Yankee Joe , variable beard length for extra masculinity
    1 oven roasted Goose , dark meat or white meat you’ll find the form impeccable
    3.18 micrograms of Spicey Enron powder (kinda like a knock off Tony Chachere’s ) to challenge the palate,- works well on slow 10 counts
    1 complaint free twice baked Perclelator , Chackbay imported only
    1 tightly wrapped Wet Tap , 10 merkins before cooking or the chest meat will be gamey
    1 Kilo of unmarked everchanging vehicles to keep the recipe fresh
    1 sprinkle of Chocolate Montana Thunder to keep the fasting glucose below 300
    1 lb of freshly chopped Piccadilly,  imported from Houma
    A dash of Coyote so we have a benchmark for speed
    A spread of Pope to keep us young and humble
    Blend all together in a roux of burpees and squatsPreheat your Peltier Park Oven to 92 , adjust to max humidity and cook for 1 hour
    Serve hot and Bone app the teeth cus it always goes down smooth

    WarmUp

    The usuals plus a few added reps while we welcomed Kilo and Montana to the fray. (T claps to Montana for his first Peltch experience)
    Got started with a Black snake Indian run with the last PAX dropping for 10 ssh.  JBL dialed up Eye of the Tiger and was thumping to keep the intensity high. PAX came out of the gate strong with speed and tenacity. Set the tone and didn’t let up. This led us to the tennis courts. 

    With a goal of solidifying pax unity before our fundraiser event YHC had some teamwork training in mind today.  First step was to identify the key pillars of an effective team then immediately put them to the test. 

    Thang 1
    Mutual respect for your teammates

    Aretha Franklin taught the boys some RESPECT
    IW on song , Squats on “just a little bit “ , Burpees on “Respect “
    Followed by a Mini ladder – 10 reps of the following exercises with descending burpees From 7
    Ranger merkins
    Elbow plank jacks
    Squats
    Peoples chair arm raises
    Easy merkins (wide)
    Carolina dry
    Terrible merkins (diamond)
    Coyote continued to challenge the land speed record for mammals and Yankee Joe kept the mumble chatter to a simmer which was his lowest possible setting. – T- claps to Goose for watching out for PAX safety on those net jumps. May have to modify those if they tighten the net. 

    Mosey to ThunderDome

    Thang 2

    Communication, Accountability and Trust
    YHC welcomed PAX to the Burpee minefield where we will build communication or suffer the consequences.
    Pax holds plank on the surrounding rectangle with scattered cones in between. 
    send one pax through blindfolded
    if he knocks over a cone , 5 squats
    Decrease time each rotation as communication improves . Goose , Montana, Wet Tap, and Coyote ran the gauntlet safely. Great teamwork and flexibility here as the PAX learned to let the next man down the line control the instructions as they are closer to the action. Penalties were minimal.

    Thang 3
    Mosey To big field For Conflict resolution training Via JBL and Anker. If you’ve been following the bayou pax backblasts you may know about this storm that’s been brewing. The feud between pax bluetooth devices has been long, bloody and flooded many well planned beatdowns with chaos. Every great team must be challenged with internal conflict. But how you respond to the conflict seperates good from great. With this lesson in mind YHC extended an olive branch to Team Anker with a goal in mind…. Pax destruction via a two headed bluetooth hydra spitting fire , thumping tubs, and striking thunder in the hearts of the pax. 

    Split into 2 teams. one to Anker, one to JBL roughly 100 yards apart
    When your team does 3 burpees run to the other song
    High knees on song
    Sprint between devices
    JBL played ACDC ,  burpees on thunderStruck
    Anker played TubThumping
    burpees on “get knocked down”

    All YHC will comment here is that an anonymous tip of Whoop data was submitted later that day with HR spikes to the 190s and unprecedented strain. 

    We put it all together with a mission to advance the kettlebell to the 100 yard cone
    All Pax in single file, pass kettle bell behind you while in al gore
    Last man takes kb and lunges to the front hands off , does 5 squats
    Every time you hand off the kb, do 5 squats. Brutal quad burn.

    Mosey back to the flag for Special Musical Mary
    With our teamwork training complete we felt like a cohesive unit , cueing up Feel so close by Calvin Harris: Alternate freddie mercuries on the chorus with wife pleasers , penguins , LBCs, big boys, flutter kicks. A great burner and the effort here was tremendous. 

    COT and Enron prayed us out 

    1 week until the SV 500!! The Stage is set and Sponsors are filled! . Check out Slack or Facebook for more info. Come see us Friday night for a burger at the Stage as well. 

    Grateful for you men and the strength we have when locking shields together
    . Thanks for the freedom to lead. 

    SYITG

     Paradox

    ◦

  • The Life of St. Vincent de Paul – from Paradox

    Bright morning sun, fresh cut grass and a few buried treasures met 10 PAX Saturday at the Peltch. The hype for the St. Vincent 500 is steadily building so YHC decided to give the PAX a history beatdown and honor the life of this great Saint.

    Standard issue warmup with some added flare. What/who is a Nancy Kerrigan? Still a mystery. During a recent beatdown intervention YHC was confronted by none other than Enron (Et tu, Brute?) about doing backwards arm circles during the time that is not clearly designated for either forward or backward arm circles. Strong opinions were laid on the table. An entire life’s work of beatdown warmups were questioned. Lines were drawn in the sand. In the end YHC acknowledged the error in his ways and gave into the authorities. Henceforth Q designates forward or backward AC. So let it be written.

    Enough Tom Foolery, to the beatdown..

    THANG 1 -The Early Life

    St. Vincent de Paul was born in a peasant village in rural France on 4/24/1581.
    PAX partnered up to get some monkey bar hang time while the partner knocked out 4 burpees, flap jack, followed by 24 LBCs, flap jack ,followed by 81 SSH. Flap jack. Tons of mumblechatter about the health attributes of a dead hang. Yankee Joe assured us his shoulder joints had actual cob webbs and Cardinal hung bravely from the short bar with worldclass form. We were all better for it. Coyote could still be hanging if he wanted to. The joint laxity is strong with 2.0s.

    A short mosey to the ball field where we continued to contemplate the hard work that St. Vincent learned while helping his family tend farm animals and plow fields. Staying in partner groups in wheelbarrow format we worked a small plot of land then had to flip the equipment for partner leg raises. Partners then swapped and one was the plow while the other provided the manpower. This was completed during the length of the classic from Jason Aldean “Amarillo Sky”. Team Goose with an impressive display of teamwork here as the 2.0s took a leg each to help Pops plow his field. Tclaps

    Mosey to the cornhole zone for a musical interlude. St. Vincent’s parents noticed his intelligence, and after many sacrifices were able to send him to study for the priesthood. After excelling in school, he was ordained as a priest at the age of 19. Due to the law at the time, he could not perform duties as a parish priest until 24 so he decided to pursue degrees in canon law and theology. Becoming a theology Rockstar was his goal but this was also a time of great spiritual turmoil for the young priest.

    PAX listened to “Party Rock” and performed Imperial walkers during the intro, seal claps on “claps” and then a cluster of
    Bonnie Blairs during the chorus. Earmuffs were applied as YHC could not find the nonexplicit version.

    Thang 2 -Seven Seas and “The Mission”

    After completing his education St. Vincent was eager to serve as a priest and put his years of learning into practice. God had other plans. He was captured by pirates and eventually sold into slavery. Through a span of 2 years he was traded from ship to ship. Instead of despair, St. Vincent used this time to learn alchemy, navigations, and continue the discernment process to find what God truly had planned for him.

    JBL played “Around the World” by Daft Punk while PAX completed around the world lunges and Moroccan night clubs during the short breaks.

    Next we headed for the seven seas. A preset course of cones directed us into stations of “treasure” on the crest of each wave. PAX started with 4x4x4 (merkins, mountain climbers SSH) as a single pax was fed into the ocean at a time. Crest stations included kettlebell OHP x10, heavy bar OHP x10 and dumbbell flies x10 while trough stations involved 5 merkins. Run between cones.

    St. Vincent eventually converted his own slave master to Christianity and won his release returning to France where he began the Congregation of the Mission and Daughters of Charity. Above all else his mission was to “be Christ among the poor “and to “see Christ among the poor”. He spent the next 30 plus years serving the poor and “left behind” population of France and allocating resources to provide for organizations to continue this work.

    We used these same 7 stations for “St. Vincent Webb’s” which consisted of increasing merkins x1 and air presses x2 until 7 merkins and 14 air presses were achieved. On the way back we did LBC x2 and American Hammers x4 in increasing fashion until 14 lbcs and 28 American hammers were complete.
    A mosey back to flag to complete the last segment of St. Vincent’s life. While afflicted with painful sores on his lower extremities St. Vincent was bound to a chair or bed until his death. He did not let this hamper his mission. He completed thousands of letters to the aristocracy of France and utilized these resources to provide for the poor and needy.

    Special round of Mary where we completed no leg movement core exercises. Penguins, big boy situps, Nolan Ryans, scuba steves and Australian sweat angels.
    COT and Prayer

    **Post Beatdown extra curriculars: encore version of “Party Rock” was completed while picking up cones and YHC accessories. Some say Enrons dance moves changed the course of Thibodaux history. Others were less enthused.

    Thanks for letting me lead fellas. As always I had a ball creating and attempting to execute this one. Excited to serve this community and continue the mission of St. Vincent de Paul through our upcoming fundraiser.

    Sign up your team for the SV500 and lets get those sponsorships locked down.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • We saw the sign – from Percleator

    Warmuparama
    SSH, AV, AC FW/BW, CP, High knees butt kicks, IW, grass grabbers

    First thang: catch me if you can
    One lap around green at the chimney, partner performed 15 Freddie Mercurys while other partner bear crawled, catch up to partner and switch places. Second lap was lunge walk paired with 5 burpees

    Mosey to thunderdome for thang 2:
    YHC has noticed a lack of a certain genre of music for beatdowns. It’s hard to name this category but the closest thing might be “meme songs” or a “torture track”. Its the kind of song that is fun at first (in a slightly ironic sense) but will wear on you with time.
    Song 1: What’s up by Four Non Blondes
    Squats for the duration of the song. YHC called out tempo. Started out with slow 4 count squats (4 counts down 4 counts up) at different points in song YHC called out 2 and 2 count, 3 and 1, then into singles. YHC got excited and called out jump squats before the song hit its climax.
    Song 2: The sign by Ace of Base
    Start with crunchy frogs. When song changes to verse do mountain climbers, chorus do Australian sweat angels, for breakdown section back to crunchy frogs and repeat until end of song.
    YHC is of the belief that an hour of this song on repeat qualifies as cruel and unusual. No man could retain his sanity in that scenario.

    Last thang: BOMBS
    Team up 50 burpees
    75 Overhead claps from people’s chair
    100 Mercans
    150 Big Boys
    200 Squats
    The PAX pushed hard and almost finished but YHC called it and got back to flag a couple minutes late.

    Sadly no time for Mary.
    COT and Kilo sprayed us out

    Thank you for the opportunity to lead, always a pleasure with you guys
    SYITG

  • Intense Morning at The Stage – from Goose

    YHC lost power early this morning, and as I rolled up to The Stage, it became immediately clear why –an electrical pole was down across the highway, and it had caught the fence in front of the neighborhood on fire. Enron and Kilo had to fight hard to find a way around all the road blockages and emergency vehicles and arrived in time to see the firemen hosing it all down. This set the tone for what would be a bit of an intense coupon beatdown. It just didn’t feel like the time for songs or games or anything, so after a warmup of the usual (with eyes fixed on the highway project), we set about to initiate Kilo into a new level of coupon pain.

    It started with a coupon mosey to the start of Rich Man’s Loop and the usual question from the initiate, “Is there an un-awkward way to run with this thing?” Nope. There’s not. And, if there is, YHC has not yet reached that level of F3 prowess.

    The plan was to rifle carry the block for 1 light pole (about 50 yards), then drop the block and nur back 1 pole, then sprint back to the block and plank for the six; and we’d do this five times. But, we ended up rifle carrying for the first three light poles since traffic was having to turn around in the neighborhood, and many drivers, already confused by the strange occurrence on the highway, were having to also encounter three tall men carrying cinder blocks over their heads in the dark. So, once we were past the traffic, we commenced the nurring, sprinting, etc., and slowly made progress via rifle carry to the end of the back straightaway, after which we moseyed with coupons in various holds back to the flag.

    Next, we lined up with coupons at the edge of the field for 5 rounds of the following: 5 squat thrusters, 10 curls, 15 rows. After 5 rounds, bear crawled to the other side of the field and ran back. This was admittedly harder than it looked on paper, but it filled enough of the remaining time so that we needed to move onto some block inclusive Mary so YHC could expose the PAX to yet more Exicon depth (always a goal).
    This included (all 4-count, IC): 20 block high flutter kicks, 20 block LBC’s, 15 bench press/skull crusher combos, 15 American Hammers w/block, and 20 wife pleasers w/block. That last one brought about some gratitude that the flow of traffic had resumed, otherwise what was recently a line of cars might be wondering why three men were lying on the concrete humping cinder blocks. In honor of this good fortune, we finished out the last minute or so with 15 monkey humpers.

    COT and Enron prayed us out. Kilo and Enron compared shoulder scrapes on the way back to the vehicles, grateful for the souvenirs and the pumped upper bodies.
    Much to put into God’s hands this morning, and gratitude for these HIMs fighting to get out there and push hard. Thanks for letting me lead!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Run, Float, Sink, Climb – from Paradox

    YHC has a love/hate relationship with sprints. I’ll blame it on deep seated psychological trauma from high school football conditioning. YHC’s ancestors likely invented the spear to avoid sprinting from the sabertooth. Like “oh well , lets takes our chances with this stick cus running fast sucks”. Recently YHC has felt the need to address these ancestral deficiencies with tailormade beatdowns.
    When beginning my Q journey a few months back, Goose handed down some deep wisdom nuggets about beatdown architecture: Always return to the classics. Shakespeare and Thoureau you say?? No sir, “try Steve and Akbar, those guys write a solid backblast”. I dove into the Northshore archives and after surveying several gems I selected a recent sprint work piece (run, float run) created by Northshore legend Akbar. Some of his initial work like the “the Merkin Trap” changed the way I Q so I knew I was in good hands.
    Arrived to the Stage with a lonely black SUV and a single PAX in heavy stretch mode. Could it be?! ENRON! Returning from IR to get back into the mix. Great to have ya back brother. The newly minted Roughneck rolled in shortly after followed by Kilo and we got started

    WarmOrama: SSH, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, high knees, butt kicks. Bumper/Stop Sign Mosey

    JBL official warm-up
    *I must pause here and recognize that JBL remains the alpha Bluetooth speaker in this pack. There may be contenders and challengers (lifejacket and Anker) that come and go but when the chips are down, and you need soul jarring thunderous rock there is only one Bluetooth speaker king.

    Song: “Aint no mountain high enough”- High knees on whole song. Trigger words were the following: high enough=jump squat, low enough=2 deep squats, wide enough =3 merkins

    THANG 1
    Mosey to Rich Mans loop for sprint work.

    Mosey, Sprint, Float, Sink (thanks Akbar)
    Each light pole had a different gear. Started with standard mosey, then increased to sprint followed by down shift into float (which I’m learning is kinda a feel thing) followed by planking for the 6 and repeato. The key to the float is a “fast relax” with very little straining. Realizing as I type this sounds like my medical advice on not producing hemorrhoids. Our best effort was attempted. Completed 7 rounds.

    THANG 2
    Introduced the PAX to yet another cousin of Jack Webb. Today we meet his seldom seen uncle Mountain Jack Webb. Starting at the straight away with 2 Squat Chinooks then 4 mountain climbers (1 is 1) followed by lunge walks to the next cement line (roughly ten yards) and repeato. Increased increments by 2/4 reps respectively. Thanks to some quick Enron excel spreadsheet math we topped out at 28 squat chinooks and 40 MCs with a 60 MC burnout.
    Headed back to the virtual flag (we miss ya goose!) in Indian run style.
    Enough time for 20 Freak nasties and 10 Box Jumps and some mixed Mary
    15 LBCs, 15 Penguins, 15 Wife pleasers, 20 Dolphin Hops
    Count off, NameORama and Prayer intentions.
    Come out to the peltch Saturday for Kilos VQ! (Star Wars theme has been promised)

    Apologies to Enron for 45 minutes of sprints and mountain climbers on a bum knee. If it holds up after today, you can toss that Brett Favre copper sleeve in the can. Great to have you back, your premium grade mumble chatter has been missed.

    T Claps for Roughneck coming back for more after Monday. Keep pushing brother.

    Solid Effort fellas, thanks for letting me lead

    Until the next gloom

    Paradox

  • Nowhere to Hide – from Goose

    It’s tough when FNG’s come on weekdays. Smaller number of PAX means there’s nowhere to hide when you’re just trying to survive, but the soon to be named Roughneck never gave up despite the feeling of drowning that we all remember too well from our own first beatdowns. With YHC, Paradox, and Kilo mumblechattering about highlights from the Zoorich Classic on Saturday and crazy lingo being tossed about in the midst of grunting and sweating, it was with great interior fortitude that Roughneck remained smiling and in good humor to the end.

    Warmup (all in cadence, x20) side straddle hops, windmills, arm circles, imperial walkers, self-love

    Thang 1: Robot Dance (?)
    -Song 1: “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel–plank position for the entirety, but every time we heard “In Your Eyes”, we shifted to the next position in the following order: high plank, mid plank, mission impossible plank, back to mid, back to high, right arm up, left arm up, back to high plank, etc. This one’s over five minutes long, but it felt shorter due to mumblechatter about it likely being a catalyst/accompaniment for the conception of more than one of the PAX back in the 80’s, as well as a history lesson on the connection between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins. This PAX has much to learn.
    -Song 2: “Banana Boat (Day-O)” by Harry Belafonte–similar, but with squats. Every time he said “Day” shift to the next position: standing, mid squat, low squat, mid, back to high, etc. The PAX had much to learn here, as well, about the origins of this song and the experience of banana harvesters. YHC is happy to provide some cultural exposure to these millenial zombies.

    Thang 2: Four corners/Baseball
    1 PAX stationed at each corner of the field (bases) and did as many reps as possible (AMRAP) of the following exercise while PAX at “home plate” completed 15 burpees and ran to 1st, then each advanced to the next base once replaced:
    1st base: merkins
    2nd: squats
    3rd: Big Boy Situps
    Continued until all four PAX had a chance to do burpees at home plate.

    Thang 3: Benchwork
    2 PAX per bench, completed the following, in cadence x20: dips, L-leg step-ups, Irkins, R-leg step-ups, Derkins. Then, rinse and repeat x15. (1:1 for all).

    Back to the flag for Mary: LBC’s, Leg Raises, Freddy Mercury’s

    COT and named the FNG–Welcome Roughneck! Great to have you, man! Awesome work, and looking forward to growing with you!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Holy Thursday–Plenty of Material to Work With – from Goose

    4 PAX gathered in the gloom of an ominous Holy Thursday morning. Lightning flashed and rain threatened throughout, but off in the distance, there were breaks in the clouds that promised a hopeful future. But, until then, there was much to endure:
    Warmup: SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Chinooks (gonna be using those shoulders today), IW, SL

    Thang 1: Passover Prep and Darkness Prowling
    Partner 1 prepped for Passover while Partner 2 prowled in the darkness for three rounds.

    -Round 1: Partner 1–Colt 45’s with coupon (15 curls from waist to chest, 15 curls from thighs to waist, and 15 curls from thighs to chest); Partner 2–Block and bear across the field and back (bear crawl while dragging block forward from between legs/arms).

    -Round 2: Partner 1–Bolt 45’s (15 squats with coupon from upright to halfway down, 15 from halfway down to all the way down, and 15 from all the way down to all the way up); Parter 2–Murder Bunnies w/coupon across the field and back.

    -Round 3: Partner 1–Kettle bell swings until partner 2 returns; Partner 2–rifle carry (overhead) across the field, 10 squat thrusters, and rifle carry back.

    Thang 2: 4 Corners = 4 stages of Holy Thursday night–2 rounds of each

    Washing of the Feet–“If I do not wash you, you have no part in me.” (Jn 13:8)
    15 Absolutions (8-count ab killer; look it up). Round 1 was called in cadence; round 2 was not, because YHC needed to breathe.

    Last Supper–“And he took a chalice, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, and they all drank of it.” (Mk 14: 23).
    15 Goblet squats (squats with coupon held vertically under the chin).

    Judas’s Betrayal–” ‘It is he to whom I shall give this morsel when I have dipped it.’….So, after receiving the morsel, he immediately went out; and it was night.” (Jn 13: 26, 30)
    15 Dips, 15 right leg step-ups, 15 dips, 15 left leg step-ups

    Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane–“Father, if you are willing, remove this chalice from me; nevertheless not my will, but yours, be done.”
    Mission Impossible plank (hold one inch off the ground)–PAX counted around in a circle up to 50.

    After Round 1 of this, it was about 6:15, which is our 45 minute stop time, but for some reason, YHC had 6:30 locked in, so after Round 2 began, Enron and Paradox began to mumble on their bench: “Is he going over time? Is there some deeper meaning to this? Did we do something wrong? Did he secretly tell our wives we’d be later than usual?” Then, as we moved into round 2 of the Agony planks, YHC made a joke about “keeping watch for one hour”, which sealed the deal in the PAX’s mind that it we were purposefully going the whole hour, though YHC meant it only as a joke that we’d be planking for an hour if we really loved Jesus. And, just like Peter at the last supper, they were afraid to ask the Q directly, and hoped Kilo, who shared a bench with YHC, would ask. But, Kilo was blissfully without a watch and had no idea he would be late for work today.
    So, we ended with a long sprint, a long carioca, and a long nur, to connect us to the apostles who all fled. And, we completed 6 minutes of Mary.
    Just FYI, going over time, especially 15 minutes over, when the agreed time is 45 minutes is disrespectful to the PAX, and YHC would never purposefully surprise the men with such a move. My deepest apologies! And, thanks for your patience this morning, gents!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Am I My Brother’s Keeper? – from Goose

    YHC had an interesting idea that could either be a memorable challenge, chock full of valuable life lessons, or it would be a total cluster, and nothing in between. So, with a record 6 PAX gathered at The Stage in the gloom of a gorgeous morning, we commenced.

    Warmup: SSH, Windmills, Grass Grabbers (deviations from the norm, duly recognized, are always for a reason), Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Self-Love

    When YHC requested the assistance of JBL, Paradox informed us that JBL was fartsacking (or “charging”); and this after multiple prompts over the past few weeks to take advantage of JBL: “He’s here for you. He’s always ready to provide deep, booming base, and consistent bluetooth connection. Take advantage of his presence and his audio prowess.” But, alas, the first test of “Am I my brother’s keeper?’ resulted in grave failure. So, the morning’s soundtrack was barely audible on the phone speaker and out of YHC’s control, so there’s no telling what the guys closest to it were subjected to.

    Thang: Total Dependency

    PAX lined up and were instructed to observe the exercise of the man to their right and repeat it. Each man was then responsible for completing and displaying that exercise and communicating the number of reps to the man to their left. YHC was first in line and basically took the PAX through an ascending ladder of exercises (listed below), so there was constant movement and constant need to communicate down the line what exercises came next. Each man could only speak to the man next to him, so one-on-one communication was key.

    At first, there was some confusion as to what each PAX was responsible for communicating. Enron almost let Paradox do 25 burpees instead of 25 mountain climbers because he assumed it was a sort of “telephone” type game where misunderstandings were not corrected, but passed on. (That may have been YHC’s fault for explaining the exercise as “sort of like ‘telephone’”.) But, as the beatdown continued, and reminders to “Take care of your brother!” were repeated, the PAX caught on.

    Exercises were done as an ascending ladder (starting with the first, then the first and second, then the first and second and third, etc.):
    5 Burpees
    10 Merkins
    15 Lunges (2:1)
    20 LBC’s
    25 Mountain Climbers
    30 Second plank (4-count to 30)
    35 American Hammers
    40 Side Straddle Hops
    45 Big Boy Situps
    50 Squats (ran out of time for these)

    After count-off and name-off, YHC explained the lessons learned:

    1. Pain and/or pride typically cause us to focus heavily on ourselves and forget about the men around us. But, here, if we were overly focused on our own rep count or just trying to finish, the man next to us would be completely lost. It required much focus on where he was in the series and when he needed what information to continue. This is immediately applicable to life as a married man and as a father. When we’re overly focused on ourselves, either out of self-pity or pride, the people who depend upon us are left in the dark.

    2. Faith is never truly internalized from an expert to a group. It can be understood intellectually, but for a man to take ownership, he must be accompanied intimately by another who’s in the same boat, who’s been down the same road, and who can give both direction and confidence that it’s doable, it’s real, and it’s worth the struggle. Without this one-on-one accompaniment, faith struggles to escape the world of ideas, and we struggle to escape our own doubts and questions.

    COT, excellent prayer, announcements about the clown car trip to the Northshore beatdown on April 23 (Zoorich Classic) and Percleator having to go back to being a weekend warrior (Nooo!).
    It’s such a privilege to be out there with you, fellas!
    SYITG,
    Goose