F3 New Orleans

Tag: Lil’ Cuz

  • The Yote Bowl – from Goose

    The ‘Yote Bowl
    By Coyote
                      The morning presented itself to YHC as crisp and chilly. The crazy winds that had been batting at us all week had taken a break for the weekend: a perfect day for a little F3 flag-football. Pope and YHC set up a field about fifty yards long with five-yard end zones and a first down line halfway through the field.
                      The Pax showed up quickly, and YHC was not surprised that there were so many 2.0’s, including YHC. Yankee Joe and Brass Monkey showed up a little late, but nobody noticed. YHC and the Pax skimmed over warmups and moseyed over to the Field by Bayou Road, the place where the field was. The teams were assembled, Team 1 consisting of Goose, White Meat, Brass Monkey, Lil Cuz, Bam-Bam, Jackknife, and Pikachu. Team 2 had Man-Eater, Yankee Joe, Cap’n D, Pope, Darrel Strawberry, Duke, and YHC. YHC announced that there would be a football trivia question every touchdown, and every five minutes on the minute, the Pax would have to do five burpees. Team 2 started with the ball, moved down the field, and ended the drive with a disappointing punt. Team 1 got the ball, and after a few plays, were four yards from the first down line on fourth down. They went for it and a pass from Lil Cuz to Brass monkey was batted down. Team 2 got the ball, and finished the drive with a touchdown to Man Eater on a flea-flicker play.  The trivia awaited, and “Who has the record for most rushing yards in a season?” tested the knowledge of the Pax.  Cap’n D answered with Eric Dickerson: the correct answer. The score was Team 2:7, Team 1:0. Team 1 got the ball, and wasted no time telling us that they were not brushoffs and moved down the field fast. On first and goal, Lil Cuz threw a pass meant for either Goose or Brass Monkey. Either way, they both jumped up, focused on the ball, ready to snag it out of the air…and slammed into each other. Quote Goose, “When I saw that ball in the air, I felt like I was 12 again.” They redeemed themselves and scored on a pass to Brass Monkey. Cap’n D answered the next question, and we played on. 7-7. Next, Man Eater threw a bomb meant for Yankee, but it was intercepted by Cuz. Team 1 Scored on another pass to Goose. 14-7. The next drive was interesting, and YHC’s team stuck to short passes and handoffs, more than half of them going to Pope, and Cap’n D caught a touchdown pass, and answered the question correctly. Game tied 14-14. Team 2 drove down the field, and this drive put the 2.0’s on the map. Bam-Bam caught the first pass of the drive and ran six yards, then he caught another pass for more yards. Then Brass Monkey smashed through Team 2’s entire defense and got a first down. Then Jackknife caught a pass and ran through a wide-open hole to the three-yard line. Then Bam-Bam caught a touchdown pass and Team 1 took the lead 21-14. Again, Cap’n D blew the trivia out of the water. On the first play of the next drive Man Eater threw a bomb pass to Cap’n D, who dove and caught it with his fingertips. But the next play, Man Eater threw a pass meant for Yankee Joe, But Lil Cuz jumped in front and snagged his second interception of the game. Goose took over as Quarterback for Team 1, and they went for it on fourth down, and White Meat dropped a pass. Cap’n D took over as Team 2’s Quarterback, and Yankee Joe caught a pass in the End Zone. 21-21. This time, Yankee Joe answered the question right. Team 1 still had Goose for a Quarterback, and when they got to the five-yard line, Cap’n D rushed Goose, and Goose ran into the End Zone. 28-21. Yankee Joe tramped the trivia, and Team 2 got the ball again. Cap’n D stayed as Team 2’s QB for the rest of the game, and his plays worked every time. After an amazing throw and catch from Cap’n D to Pope, we were at the seven-yard line. A pass to YHC was complete and YHC ran into the end zone and tied the game once again, and Yankee rocked the trivia, answering the question immediately after YHC asked it. 28-28. Team 1 threw three passes that were all batted down, and they punted. Cap’n D threw a huge pass to the other side of the field to Yankee Joe, and Yankee caught it and bowled over the line to give Team 2 the lead 35-28 with two minutes left to play. Team 1 dashed down the field and scored on a pass to Goose. The score was tied again. The trivia was crushed by Joe. 35-35. With 14 seconds left to play, Team 2 lined up fast and an incomplete was thrown. For the last play of the game, Cap’n D threw a Hail Mary to Pope, and Pope caught it and turned around to go for the game-winning touchdown…but then stepped out of bounds. The game ended with a score of 35-35, a tie. The Circle of trust was done, and the ‘Yote Bowl ended. Thank you guys for your prayers, and for a great football game…and beware of ‘Yote Bowl part two: overtime.

  • More Like South Nazareth – from Goose

    YHC and Pope pulled up to the Stage this morning to find a strange SUV parked and running in typical FNG fashion. AB had hinted at this possibility, so YHC exited the truck gingerly so as not to scare him away. Then, we noticed that there were two in the SUV, one of whom was bald, bearded, and bespectacled, and bore a striking resemblance to a pic that had been posted on the Learned League GroupMe the week earlier and had become the center of attention over the last couple of days. It was, indeed, Kendall Theriot, the only non-Mitchell to give AB a run for the local title for sharpest Llama. But, alas, KT had lost in dramatic fashion to his own son this very morning, and the fall was great. That fall included a loss in a wager with an agreement to join AB at F3 should he lose the tournament to him. It was good to finally put a body to the head, a voice to the digital trash talk. YHC couldn’t wait to hear the kind of chatter that would flow this morning (especially after Tana, a long-time friend of his, also pulled in). KT will henceforth be referred to by Teravanilli, his newly minted name.

    We started with the usual warmups after the disclaimer was given, and YHC was reminded of his first beatdown (my legs were completely shot after the warmup). Then, YHC explained that, since tomorrow is St. Joseph’s Day, we’d celebrate a little early with a St. Joseph themed beatdown today.

    The first thang was a partner Dora to steep a bit in the life of a carpenter in Nazareth (which was more like a builder, most likely). While one partner worked on 200 one-armed rows (sawing), 100 brick layers, and 50 thrusters, the other partner, the beast of burden, block-and-beared across to the opposite sidewalk before rifle carrying back. YHC chose music that Joseph may have listened to if he had a bluetooth speaker, traditional Nazareth pop music (well, more like South Nazareth).

    After about 3 minutes, our good, hard work was interrupted by a dream (“Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics) wherein the Angel Gabriel told us that our fiance’ was pregnant via the Holy Spirit. Then, we discovered that we had to travel all the way to Bethlehem, our ancestral land, because of a census. So, we dropped everything right where it was and started hoofing it. We headed up the newly opened Stretch and made our way around to Rich Man’s Loop, where the townhouses began. It took us a while to get there since Mary’s pregnant and needing to go a little slower (this role was played impeccably by Teravanilli). So, the inns (townhouses) were all full. We knew this because we bear crawled to the front of each and jumped up and down asking for help (25 jump squats, for the 25th of December).

    The “inns” were rather close together, and the version of “Little Town of Bethlehem” that YHC chose was rather long, so the jump squats started quickly looking less and less like a desperate cry for help and more and more like a geriatric twerking class. Soon enough, however, we were given respite in a stable out behind one of the “inns”, and after the child was born, we started to get settled in our new location. But, once again, we were unexpectedly interrupted by Gabriel/Annie Lennox, and it was time to hoof it to Egypt, no time to lose.

    Egypt was over where the monuments to the kings of Thibodaux stand, and after a pickup-six, we completed a quick song routine to the expected Bangles hit “Walk Like an Egyptian”. Imperial Walkers for the duration and Bonnie Blairs for every “Egyptian”. So, pretty much 4 minutes of Imperial Walkers (there are only like 4 “Egyptians”–who knew?).

    Gabrielrhytmics came back one more time to let us know that the coast was clear, and we needed to head back home to Nazareth. This is where we’d live out the last of our days as a Simple Man (Lynard Skynard style), continuing our work as a carpenter (the rest of the Dora) until our time expired.

    It may seem like Joseph was jerked around, that Gabriel/God took his simple, predictable life from him and forced him to move from place to place, trying to keep his little family alive. But, what makes St. Joseph so great, and so blessed, is that he was willing to say “yes” and do what was asked of him, trusting that God would provide, and most importantly, that it was worth it. So, he gave up everything, but what he gained was the Creator of the Universe, God Himself, in his arms, in his home, every day for the rest of his life. Not a bad trade-off. He just had to let go of control, to let go of what He could picture, and trust that God truly knows what He’s doing.

    The PAX was impressed by Teravanilli’s willingness to show up and keep pushing despite a tough experience. We’ve all been there (and were there again just this past Saturday), so it means a lot when one more man makes the leap to go through it with us. The FNG naming took a while–there was so much good material–but YHC was taken by YJ’s suggestion at the very beginning of the beatdown to call him Teravanilli, an answer to one of the questions in the infamous trivia league loss. (If a millivanilli is 1/1000th of a vanilli, what is 1 trillion vanillis?). So, he’ll have a good time trying to explain that every time he introduces himself. We fully expect to see him Thursday morning.

    Announcements, COT, and Cuz prayed us out. Thanks for playing along this morning, fellas–I’ll forward any Ring videos from neighbors as I receive them.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 2/27/25 Planet Fitness Death March – from Smooth Operator

    2/27/25 Planet Fitness Death March
    XL
    Pipelayer
    Pope
    Goose
    Safet Valve
    Lil Cuz
    ManEater
    Americas Best
    Yankee Joe

    Nothing like a lil death march to get us into the month of March, and an end to Run Cajun Run by doing a little pole to pole shuffling.
    YHC showed up a little later than normal from a night shift due to late morning shift change. Goose had already started his warm-up lap and Pope and Maneater were discussing ways to save Pope’s generation from world-wide catastrophes like man eating lion’s and tigers and dead eyed corporation gym members and such.  
    As others showed up, one individual stood out. He did not know it, but Lil Cuz was instrumental in the creation of this beatdown. He once told me of a gym where “normal” people could go and walk on tread mills and do exercise machines and other foreign “equipment” without fear of being intimidated by individuals who grunted a little too much or occasionally dropped a heavy object or two. He even said there was a buzzer type light that was in place to shame these Neanderthalic clumsy individuals. And as I stored this seemingly useless but hilarious information into my hard drive, YHC vowed to use this information for the good of humanity.  

    Warmarama  
    As we huddled around the handicap sign due to a lack of lion statue that YHC will never get over. 0515 hit and YHC and Pope ran to the flag to begin Side straddle hops while others filtered in from the sign using the non-orderly fashion method. After this warmarama went as normal with YHC forgetting his numbers occasionally.

    Exercises were:
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Mountain Climbers
    Tie Fighters both front and back  

    Thang 1  
    Planet Fitness Death March

    Thang 1 began with what seemed to be the start of some Canal street burpees, but YHC kept moseying into the abyss located between Live Mais and I’m Loving It. The PAX continued to the TJ Maxx end of Plaza Del Rienzi Shopping Center, and we stopped for YHC to explain the rules for our little there and back again march. The rules are as follows: Each skinny post the PAX will complete 2 goosees, thank you Goose for the demonstration. Each fat post will be 10 merkins and the PAX will bear crawl to the next post. For each 90 degrees turn in our alley way the Pax will complete 10 burpees. Mode of transport would be a mosey Ish sprint. At this point the PAX moseyed to the far end of our brightly lit alley way. We stopped near Bourgeois Insurance Shop and as the PAX attempted to ask further question YHC gave the ready set go and off the PAX went. YHC learned quickly that the PAX is up for any challenge. They started out the gate moving fast and never let up even when we reached the Planet Fitness area where we received a couple dead eyed stares and even probably got posted on Snapchat by one of the employees. You could have sworn that the PAX had painted red hands on their shorts and were carrying protest signs by the looks we received. The PAX kept at it and finished long before YHC expected. When Valve came to pick up the 6 (ME) he was adamant he would not be going back to our starting point near Bourgeois Insurance. Therefore, YHC decided in a bout of leniency to do a Rapid-Fire Death March. The Rules are the same except there would be no bear crawling and all number of reps would be 1. The PAX completed this in record time and before you know it, the PAX was on the move again in the direction of Small’s parking lot.

    Thang 2  
    Making it up as YHC goes

    We reached Small’s and YHC decided it was time for what everyone was there for anal street burpees. We did a couple and AB (the voice of reason) decided that tiny asphalt rocks and glass was not the place to be burpee ing. It seems like this wasn’t AB cup of frothy coffee, therefore the PAX headed back to the flag with 12 minutes to go. As we reached the flag YHC decided we would do a couple rounds of Mary. It started with a plead to move to concrete instead of the wet grass which YHC graciously approved. The round of Mary started with WWI sit ups, followed by Goose’s crunchy frogs, and the Yankee Joe’s Scissor maneuver. At this point we had approximately 10 minutes to go and YHC decided abs were not the way to go to kill time. The PAX took a lap around the civic center and ended up waiting on the 6 (YHC). With approximately 7 minutes to go, YHC decided that clearly running was not the way to go. The stair seemed to call out to the PAX as YHC rounded the front of the Warren Harang Municipal building. The Pax lined up and we went up and down 3 or 4 times which seemed to be the best work to rest ratio and as 0559 approached the PAX hit the ground for a minute of merkins or high plank holds until the St. Joseph co Cathedral bells started ringing signifying 0600.

    The PAX circled up around the flags and counted off. Announcements revealed Paradox got JBL charging and a whole hour of questionable music picked out for Saturday’s beatdown. Show up if you can. There will also be a board meeting at some point to further strengthen the inner circles. Prayers were for the ACTs retreat coming up and prayers for Yote’s continued treatment. Yankee Joe then prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead and not removing my Q card upon completion.
    SYITG,
    Smooth Operator

    P.S.
    AS YHC crafted this beatdown in the parking lot of Tiger Rock Martial Arts (gym?). I thought this beatdown would force the PAX to throw a lot of weight on the ground and hopefully ring the Planet Fitness buzzer a couple times. But on the way to the beatdown, listening to the Exodus 90 scripture reading and reflection a section struck me. It reads, The Psalmist prays: “Moses, God’s chosen one, stood in the breach before him, to turn away his wrath from destroying them” (Psalm 106:23). The Lord calls each of us to do the same for those God has given us to love and lead, to stand in the breach, to be willing to suffer for them, and to call down the Lord’s mercy on them. Today weather the Planet Fitness members knew it or not, The PAX stood in the breach, suffered for them and through suffering hopefully called down the Lord’s mercy on them.  

    P.P.S
    Dumbledore Come Home
     

  • Hive Mind – from America’s Best

    Waramrama

    YHC was thinking of a story his old man told him years ago. He was at work, minding his own business, when some large bird (likely a Goose) slammed into his workstation at about 600mph, splattering blood everywhere. Oh, did I mention his workstation was the backseat of an F-4? Anyway, it shattered the canopy a bit, and (unbeknownst to them) knocked out their communications. Because he wasn’t getting an answer, Dad thought his buddy upfront was either dead or unconscious; his front-seater thought the same thing of him. So what ensued for several seconds was each man trying to take control of the stick, unsuccessfully because they were basically fighting each other. Eventually, they both figured out that the other was ok, somehow, just because they had trained for so long together.
    I got to thinking, when you train with some dudes, maybe you can start to think what they are thinking…

    The Thing 1:

    An exercise is assigned to each pair of partners.

    Each partner runs to opposite side of the runway and does part of the total number of exercises. The object is to get as close to the total number as possible. Double the absolute value of the difference between assigned reps and actual reps is the penalty. And to keep anyone from just trying to do exactly half, if both partners do the exact same number, the penalty is all the reps again.

    Round 1: 50 merkins
    Round 2: 40 bbs
    Round 3: 30 burpees

    By Round 3, I think most teams had figured out what their partners were doing and so they had to do very few burpees. YHC, however, didn’t realize that his partner (Tana) was cleverly doing one more than half the reps each time. Failing to see the pattern, and instead thinking he had been doing one less each time, YHC did 16 burpees. Tana had to ask me several times if I had really done 16… also saying to me more than once “I was doing one more than half each time.” I haven’t seen someone so visibly disappointed in me since I asked my dad to order me a Frappacino.
    So we had 15 penalty burpees each. We came here to get stronger, not smarter.

    Next Thang: Partners split up, creating two teams.
    Each team is given one band and has to come up with 3 songs by that band during a short mosey with merkins.

    Winning team does 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.
    The twist: There is a song that links both bands. If both teams choose that in their list, they avoid the penalty (10 more of each). So you have to think about the other team’s music and choices too.
    Don’t think too deeply about your PAX’s music choices though; those Peter Gabriel and Depeche Mode rabbit holes can lead you to a dark place(possibly parked out by a lake).

    First bands: Foo Fighters vs. Pink Floyd or Tom Petty
    Team 2 chose Tom Petty but did not return with “Learning to Fly.” Team 1 identified 3 Foo songs, including “Learn to Fly.”

    Smashing Pumpkins, Genesis
    Linked songs: Tonight, Tonight and Tonight Tonight Tonight

    Justin Bieber, nirvana
    Linked songs: Sorry, all apologies

    Justin Bieber, Eminem
    Linked songs: Love Yourself, Lose Yourself

    Bruce Springsteen, CCR
    Linked songs: Born to run and/or Born in USA, Born on the bayou

    Radiohead, Stone Temple Pilots
    Linked songs: Creep (I know, I’ll get you next time Left Eye)

    We all did innumerable merkins and burpees, in spite of TexicoCat bringing the Bieber knowledge.
    Next time, it will be all country garbage songs. I promise, Dox.

    SYITG,
    AB

  • What’s Cooler than being Cool? – from America’s Best

    YHC had originally planned a totally different beatdown, but upon seeing the sub-freezing temperatures predicted, changed to a beatdown that would keep all body parts moving throughout the morning.

    YHC pulled into the Frozen Tuesday Tundra with minutes to spare to find a larger than expected PAX assembled and ready to get warm.

    Warmarama (augmented to keep all limbs moving):
    SSH
    Tie Fighters
    Imperial Walkers
    Self Love+Butt kicks (deemed “Butt Love” by Popeye)
    Windmills
    Mountain climbers (Paradox starts to stand up)
    Shoulder Taps (Paradox starts to stand up)
    Peter Parkers (Paradox stays put, so back on our feet)

    Quick mosey around what may someday be a neighborhood.

    Music selection today was all about the Fahrenheits, and began with “Frozen Heart” from The Girl Dad Earworm album. Goose said something vaguely offensive like “Is this the dwarves from Lord of the Rings?” It was like a Basketball Jones slur but for the Sami mountain people. From there the music warmed to “She’s so Cold” which is basically an exercise in Mick Jagger trying to think of cold things that also rhyme with the word “cold.” (Near misses: “tombstone,” ice-cream cone.”) Only warm summertime songs from there on out to keep us mentally warm.

    We arrived back at the flags for a Dora that would ensure we would be constantly moving to maintain warmth.

    Partner 1 starts on 50 Burpees while partner 2 MOT is The Nur (mosey back).

    Followed by 100 goblet squat curls, MOT Flying Nun (mosey back).

    Then 200 Bobby Hurleys, MOT Bear Crawl (mosey back). When we were beginning this portion, Valve just laughed and said “leg day, huh?”

    (Aside: If you have not ever partnered up with Safety Valve, I highly recommend it. The more difficult the beatdown becomes, the bigger his smile gets. The grin is not exactly maniacal, but it’s also not comforting. I’m not sure if its origin is the pain he felt or the pain he saw on my face. Either way, this man eats pain for breakfast. )

    Next we moved up to the stage for 100 Mike Tyson Merkins whilst the partner ran a lap.

    At this point, YHC thought he saw that we had only 5 minutes left, so we moved down to run in place while listening to the FOTC Classic “Mutha’uckas”. YHC quickly fabricated something about F3 needing all 3 F’s, and so each time we heard a word missing a letter “F” we would Burpee. There were a lot of missing F’s. The chatter about this song being where 75% of YJ’s vocabulary comes from drowned out the song.

    Now somehow (either due to time dilation or presbyopia) there were 10 minutes left, so YHC quickly added a second Conchords song “Hurt Feelings.” The PAX held plank and merkined with each “hurt.” “Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?”

    Now that we had about 6 minutes left, we had just enough time for some Mary. Goose surprised everyone by not calling Dr. W’s and YHC takes that as a compliment as a sign of a challenging beatdown. Popeye led us in fire hydrants, and YHC accidently did alternating legs, which I do not recommend unless you are already in the market for new kneecaps. YHC then offered Freddy Mercs, and Enron gifted us penguins. I can’t remember too much more, other than Tana trying to run out the clock with 6” until everyone dropped. But when the Q is done, the exercise moves on to the next man. It’s always that New Year’s Resolution Guy who shows up multiple weeks and then struts around like he owns the Planet Fitness.

    YHC was impressed by the fortitude of all you men who braved the frozen tundra to make it out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Year in Review 2024: The Ghost of Backblast Past – from Paradox

    Whether you call it Twixmas, Feral Week, or the official week of the automated email , the window of December 25th-January 1 is a great period for quality family time , limited use of pants, and for ignoring nutritional facts. (Even if your Payday has 7g of protein).

    Naturally paired with this season is a look back on the good, bad and ugly of your previous year. And that’s where we’ll start as YHC also needs to issue this backblast as a mea culpa for several missed blasts through the year. Swept up in the undertow of work and diapers were more than a few half written works that just didn’t seem to have enough bowel movements in the day to finish.

    Of course I could pile the excuses higher than the pampers tower in YHCs garage but the burden remains and if the men of F3 thib have taught me anything then it’s how to get back up when the tubs of life truly starts thumping you down. Ergo, we must trudge forth! Like Pliny the Younger providing the only account of Vesuvius, who would tell ABs grandkids about the Christmas miracle ?
    Or like Aristodemus, spared from the final battle of Thermopylae to document those slain, someone must record the heroes of Danger Valve Mondays. Concordantly, this document is my 2024 last stand. To prevail against the waves of procrastination, flares of irritable bowels and all other reasons YHCs blasts went to Apple notes purgatory this year.

    Objectives for this beatdown/blast were ambitious. YHC needed to recognize a tremendous year from our pax and highlight a few glossed over diamonds in the tuff, and to do it all in one big greasy beatdown/blast omelette. You won’t even need mushrooms and salsa to stomach this egg vehicle Senor Mitchell. This behemoth is chocked full of the events, schisms, airport flatulence, franchises, hoosker do’s, hoosker don’ts , 17 different light rock alternatives, wearables, whistling kitty chasers and all of those secret sauces of 2024 F3 Thib that make this group of uncultured hooligans my valued brothers.

    Duke!!
    It’s the Year in Review !!
    Roll that beautiful footage pup.

    10 Tuesday Tuffians were mostly assembled as YHC arrived in a thicc gloom with near perfect beatdown weather. Cool enough for sans mosquitoes but not so chilly that a spray paint crop top would make you uncomfortable ya know, and YHC did know.

    Standard issue warmups with the ever growing detestable schism of slow knee heretics blatantly disregarding the call for “high knees” and instead doing the invasive species “slow high knees”. Like a useless pond grass the south port variant continues its spread, choking the life from more useful warms ups in our precious ecosystem. It’s a slippery slope to power walking fellas, it’s all I’m trying to say. Next it’s “there’s no jump on the burpee” then “Shakira shimmies” for merkins. Before long, once the estrogen levels get high enough, we’ll have a bear problem….(see anchorman et al 2004) …(and look this beatdown needed atleast one bah humbug or I couldn’t maintain the Dickens vibe ok)

    YHC persevered through the mutiny and Wet Tap reduced the tension by reminiscing of misspent youth in Lafayette night clubs. We put a Bumper Mosey bow on it and it was show time.

    YHC wanted to recap the year and one theme seemed recurrent and prominent in my reflections on 2024. Through the joys, sorrows, and everyday grind, in the ups and downs of family life , the sick 2.0s, the injuries , the beauty of new life and pain of lost loved ones. In all those things, God was, is and wants to be truly with us.

    YHC will now attempt to go full Jacob Marley as we fly through 2024 and see the beatdowns of past, present and future.

    In January God was with us in the known and unknown.

    On 1/7/24 Americas Best sparked a trivia revolution with his bd “everybody’s an expert”. YHC remembers running rich man’s loop as he asked us a deep question: “what is one category we know better than the rest”. YHC thought it was a prank and initially answered something like “statefair corndogs” only to realize the remaining pax all gave real heartfelt answers. Finally Cardinal, in his wisdom, suggested a chance I might know antibiotics. How thoughtful.
    When we returned to the stage AB weaponized our strengths (and Pride) against us to reinforce a very cool fact. We all kinda know 1-2 things really well but clearly there’s a vast ocean of facts out there we can humbly claim ignorance to and enjoy the process of learning.

    So to honor this amazing gift we unveiled …
    Rapid Fire AB trivia

    Correct – 7 coupon plank jacks
    Incorrect 7 coupon merks

    #1
    If yogurt and sweet potato had a baby they might produce ABs favorite traditional Polynesian food made from the Taro root.
    (Poi)

    Honeysuckle remembered the runny 3 finger poi as his favorite blend.

    #

    2ABs least favorite breakfast food- (omelette)

    Pope with the immediate answer.

    #3
    When AB first moved to Thibodaux his first job as an optometrist made him smell like fresh Tires. Where was that job? (Sam’s Club)

    Goose struggled with this one a bit but battled to produce Walmart which YHC awarded half credit. This is a great Goosian trait we see on display many beatdowns, if he doesn’t immediately have an answer then a rabid bloodhound is unleashed in his brain searching accurate guesses. Something’s very right with his medulla oblongata.

    #4
    AB has a dog named after the main character in this 1994 classic movie. (Shawshank redemption- Andy Dufrene)

    The group produced both Shawshank and Dufrene.

    Now it was only fair by the writ of habeas corpus that AB get a swing at the pax during his own trial so YHC prepped him the night before to bring a fast ball.

    The Pax produced some fine “Most common wrongs” but could not land on “Time Dilation” as the answer. Great teaser trailer for the 2025 Interstellar beatdown.

    Grand Finale

    On a special night during ABs childhood , in the room he shared with his brother Jeff , AB released flatus so vile that Jeff had to leave the room. When he returned the next morning somehow the smell had gotten much worse. This is event is now known as what?
    (The Christmas miracle)

    Again Goose was flexing his Dawkins trophy by guessing Napalm. Although it was incorrect, I hereby place it #2 on the list of potential FNG names. (Just behind Texaco Cat of course)

    Shoutout to This first hand account added by none other than Jeff Mitchell, who claims his smell never fully recovered.

    AB thank you for the gift of trivia this year. We are proud to call you our Llama Mama.

    In February God was with us on the run.

    2/17/24
    “It’s Only A Mile”

    We recognized two major memories from this awesome day and what is hoped to be a Thibodaux staple event.

    The first was Coach Goose. Anyone who ran more than a lap that day was aided by the one part field general/one part friend that provided stalwart support until the end.
    We also unknowingly picked up our Rookie of the Year, White Meat.

    Maybe it was the movie references or perhaps the pastalaya but he was there at the stage the following Monday rattling off Big Lebowski quotes like a pax veteran. We missed the mark on not naming this man Double Toilet but it’s been great getting to know the Meat and see him rapidly improve.

    Run lap- 10 Goosies
    Run Back 20 picklePounders

    Thank you Goose for your leadership and thank you White meat for courage to try something new.

    In March God was with us building our spiritual foundation brick by brick .

    3/21/24 Popeye VQ

    YHC would be flat out lying if I told you I wasn’t atleast a bit scared/concerned at what a Popeye Q might be. And based on the absolute silence of this usually chattering group during the beginning of the VQ some others were curious where the pain would come from as well. We stayed off his grass and all survived that day and ever since he has set the tone yielding his equally effective weapons of bricks and Yacht Rocks.

    YHC found a song that was Yacht Rockish and represented Pops previous solo brick routine.

    Coupon skips on our mystery song.

    “All by myself “ equals burpee

    One minute off per answer was the plan but these were fairly difficult and YHCs twang did not help a thorough explanation.

    Answers :

    – “ALL by myself “
    – Artist – Eric Carmen
    – other biggest hit song was “hungry eyes” featured in mutiple commercials to represent lusting after foods
    – What Band did he leave: The raspberries
    – Raspberry hit song was “Go all the away” – (hint: on guardians of galaxy soundtrack)

    Thank you Pop for the tough love and for the Sailing lessons.

    In April God was with us as we crank the intensity and carrying our burdens.

    Yankee Jeaux has a well established resume of mega holiday beatdowns that many broadway production companies would envy. Yet he continued to push the bar higher with this Holy Week Stations of the Cross bd. It had the perfect blend of physical demand, silent reflection and opportunity for unity in suffering.

    Thank you YJ, we secretly love your monologues.

    Rucking also exploded onto the F3 Thib scene in the spring of ‘24 so we honored the Co-founders of Warrior Wednesday -Smooth and Honeysuckle. ( and a Tidy Whitey shoutout). These pax showed Great initiative to start and maintain a change of pace on Wednesdays. The ruck/run allows for open conversations and a simple format. Just ask Smooth all you need is a Jansport and a few hammers.

    Both of these pax are connoisseurs of fine country so YHC dialed up ole King George.

    “Carrying your love with me”
    Coupon Step ups

    A classic Smooth “Okay” was the general sentiment regarding coupon step ups.

    Thank you HoneySuckle for your consistency, quality franchise Beatledowns and your God gifted infinity lungs

    Thank you Smooth for cutting edge Maul/tire beatdowns and for always embracing a heavy load with a laugh and an “okay”

    In May God was with us during a challenge.

    This May we had a few wrinkles added to the annual May challenge . Some fasting , mutiple extra point grab opportunities and 3am -6 am 10 mile ruck Ruck that launched 1000 wife complaint’s. It led to some awesomely weird conversations and some revelations about valves call schedule.

    To honor the super ruck and the Dawson 2.0s leading a Weird Al resurgence YHC found a little “YODA” .

    Coup Calf raise on song
    Curls on YODA

    Thanks to Ronnie for giving me a template to ask my M about a middle of the night ruck. (It didn’t help)

    In June God was with us to deal with transitions.

    This one needs little introduction.
    Mr Summerwind expressed all my feelings completely.

    Cardinal to MC
    “80 miles to Santa Fe”

    Parked – Squat
    Lake- Bonnie Blair
    Santa Fe – SSH

    We miss ya Cardinal.
    Beatdown field trip in 2025- it’s happening. Thanks for encouraging the deeper questions and being a rock in our community.

    In July God was with us to move heavy things.

    Wet Tap continued to carve his niche as our Pax premier expert in Coupons of unusual size (COUS). directly or indirectly introducing Black Betty and Tiny this year we learned to fear seeing the high country back into a lot with no cinders in sight.

    Song “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
    We did OHP on Black Betty and Bama Lam

    Thank you Tap, for seeing coupons everywhere you look.

    Mid Year Intermission Song:
    SSHs while YHC highlighted Lil Cuz’s innate ability to add valuable commentary on all things. Everyone sharpens iron in their own way and for Cuz it’s letting you know your beatdown monologue made him uncomfortable and that the veggie tray could use ranch.

    Thank you Cuz for Keeping the bar high. If your brothers aren’t first, your last. Some pax whispers about a 2025 Earl Dibbles bd?!

    In August, God was with us in the Danger.

    The character arc of Safety Valve from friendly neighbor to Monday Supervillain has been nothing short of amazing. To sum it up best I pulled the YELP reviews from the pax on Mondays after a standard valve bd:

    Popeye: Is Valve okay?

    White Meat: I’m hurting Linda.

    Goose: Does his insurance cover therapy? Asking for a friend.

    Pope: I feel a new sensation of being short of breath.

    Popeye: seriously, he ok?

    …it goes on like that for a few pages.

    To honor our much loved merkin maniac YHC called in some classic Kenny Loggins.
    Highway to the Danger Valve
    IW -Song
    Double Merkin Burpee on Danger Zone.

    Thanks for never letting off the gas Valveline.
    I like the way you hurt a man.

    In September God was with us to sharpen Iron.

    Remind me again, Whose idea was Iron PAX plus BK 500 in the same month?! We must have been really high on Jersey Mikes that day.

    As it happened, September 2024 at F3 Thibodaux was a minefield of some of the most difficult beatdowns we’ve ever attempted. It seems the brain trust up in Greenwood got together this year and decided there was a nationwide deficit in thrusters and burpees. This led to several snot woggle Saturdays where the legs were weakened but the shared suffering was stronger than ever.

    To cap off the month we pivoted our annual SV500 into a fall friendly event and this year supported the nonprofit Brothers Keeper. Goose kept tradition by building a ridiculous but well thought out 20 station course that was much more defensible against questionable form. Inch worm merkins and the station 1 Dora still keep pax in cold sweats.

    The dark horse team of Valve and Cardinal , now simply known as Second Collection, won the overall category and we’re still investigating that “anonymous” benefactor.

    Song:
    GreenDay
    “Wake me up when September Ends “

    On your 6 Hold coupon in press position.
    Alt between flutter kicks , heels to heaven , leg raises.
    WW3 sit-ups on “September”

    Thanks to all who made the BK500 a great success.

    In October/November God was with us to converge with our fellow brothers and to celebrate several milestones.
    Our Bayou pax of 4 years , Goose with a 5 year and the NOLA region hit the 10 year mark!

    These milestones could only be recognized by The GOOSELIZER. (As designed and led by Goose on the spot at Convergence)
    A deconstructed SSH montage with plank jacks in between. It’s a thing of synchronized beauty.

    Thanks to our NOLA brothers for continued support.

    And finally we adjusted our reverse time dilators as we arrived back at December safely at our cozy stage.

    December brings the season of Paxmas beatdowns as we prepare the way together. We had to adjust our Christmas carol expectations and even saw an exposed coca Cola Santa for the fraud he is. Chests and Butts were roasted on an open fire as ThighKowsky made a final bow. We saw a new grinch bring the Whoville pain and we were yearning for a YJ soliloquy. All this bringing us to an open field, a sky full of stars and vintage Goosing complete with 9000 pancakes plus a question :“Could we allow God to be bigger than us ?”

    Song : God is with Us
    Artist: For King and Country
    -Coupon High Knees
    -Thrusters on God is with Us

    The last counting and naming of 2024 then in another slightly less smelly miracle YHC gifted the Push-up Pimp to Valve.
    Great year of growth brother.

    Announcements
    -Get on Da Q Sheet
    -Feb 8 It’s only a Mile
    -White Mystery Meat Q (TBD)

    Prayers
    – winter illness’s
    – Holiday anxieties

    Thank you pax for these gifts and of the opportunity to lead and share together in all things that God provided in 2024.

    I’ll wrap us up with a little sprinkle of what Mr. Clive Staples had to say on this matter and as my own challenge for 2025.

    “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

    I pray we can see all things in this new year with the Light He provides.

    God is with us.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • With Speed – from America’s Best

    Having arrived early for set-up, YHC drove over to where the flags should be to get this thing started.
    Warmarama with the usual stuff.
    Indian Run down the road and back again, to the field.

    First Thing:
    Since the numbers were low today, we would experiment with a little Dora-like exercise that will be used in a future beatdown. Just needed to be tested in a small beatdown laboratory today. Partnering up, Partner1 begins burpee while Partner2 Bear-crawls about 15 yard before turning around and coming back to retrieve partner. Then both partners crab walk to the end and complete 10 burpees each. Finish is when 100 burpees have been completed total. All subjects survived (Maneater had not yet injured his back), so it will be integrated into the future BD as planned.

    Next thing:
    Working on foot eye coordination, PAX will have to attempt a long shot at a small goal. All misses result in 10 of something. The closer you are to the goal, the better the exercise. Within 1st cone, LBCs; within 2nd cone, BBS; within 3rd cone, merkins, within 4th cone, Goosies; outside of any of those, burpees.
    I can’t remember exactly how this played out, but I remember White Meat had one amazing shot and one horrible one, and Lil Cuz scored one. Dox definitely kicked one the farthest for 10 burpees. Maneater had not yet injured his back.

    Final Thing:
    Michigan PE teacher Elmer Mitchell created this sport in 1921 (and it was played one year in middle school PE by YHC in 1987), naming it Speedball to evoke the combined feeling of stimulation and depression that comes with being a PE teacher in 1921 (or of being in a middle school PE class in 1987).
    Speedball is a combination of many other sports. Notably, it can be played on a field of any size or location so it’s perfect for the amorphous unbounded field we typically use. Teams were made. Trash was talked. Feelings were hurt. Maneater injurted his back. The Speedball Transfer Portal was opened. It was a close match, but one of the two teams won.
    Moseyed back to the spot where the flags should be for COT.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • The Best Way to Process Trauma is to Go Through it Again with All Your Friends – from Goose

    YHC got a nasty case of what seemed to be food poisoning in the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day. This provided for an excellent scenario: enjoyed all the wonderful food, gained no weight from overeating, got hours and hours of intense core exercise, and gained inspiration for the empty Monday Q slot.

    After a warmup of the usual on this chilly morning, YHC began the reenactment of that fateful Thanksgiving Day as we cued up the “Gobble Gobble” song by Matthew West that YJ introduced last year.
    Thanksgiving Day started as one would expect, overeating at the table/trough next to family members. So, we partnered up, and while the music carried us through the details of the feast, one partner planked while the other did 10 merkins before switching. It wasn’t a long song, but it was plenty long enough.

    After dinner, we began the neighborhood walk portion of the day, a tradition for many families, and this was accomplished via a simple mosey around the traditional mile route. But, at the beginning of the last quarter-mile, unexpected things began to happen. The world began to spin just a little bit, and at each lampost, we turned 90 degrees to either carioca, nur, carioca the other way, or run. Dizziness was kicking in, and something wasn’t right. Then, it hit–this was happening. It was time to sprint to the toilet/flag.

    At this point, the waves of nausea are making it impossible to stand upright, but also impossible to lay down comfortably. So, we lined up on the edge of the concrete and rolled around and around uncomfortably for two minutes (via the following exercises, AMRAP) before having to run to the toilet:
    10 big boy situps
    10 Nolan Ryans on the left elbow
    10 Afflecks
    10 Nolan Ryans on the right elbow

    Once two minutes were up, we ran to the “toilet”, a pair of coupons for each man about 10 yards from the concrete. Here we hovered over the toilet and wretched from all the way down in our toes before sitting on the toilet and opening a firehose. This was accomplished via 10 manmakers and 20 pooper squats (sit on the upended coupon and extend legs out front, like Jeff Daniels on Dumb and Dumber) or until 2 minutes were up. We than ran back to “bed” and did it all over again.

    For Round 2, things were really starting to go downhill. For the first 2 minutes rolling around in agony in the “bed” we replaced the BBSU with 10 wife pleasers, because now the rear faucet is out of control and is requiring that level of glute squeezing to keep the sheets clean. Nolan Ryans on the left still followed, but then the Afflecks were replaced by 10 chilly jacks (low plank jacks). Left elbow Nolan Ryans still followed, and the rolling continued until 2 minutes was up.

    This time, to get back and forth from the toilet, since we were losing fluids and strength at such a rapid rate, we had to (bear) crawl. The exercises were still manmakers and squat poopers, though–no matter how much we wanted to avoid them, the wretching is involuntary, and it (as well as the rectal peeing) comes when it will. Can’t stop that train.

    It was somewhere around this time that Cuz asked, “Why would you want to go through all this again? Cuz, Cuz–the best way to process trauma is to take some of the hair of the dog that bit the horses you and your friends rode in on and make a mat out of it to do low planks and Nolan Ryans on.

    As “Lime in the Coconut” was fading, we had time to do one last lightning round. One minute or rolling around consisted of 20 flutter kicks, 10 Nolan Ryans, 10 Australian sweat angels, and 10 Nolan Ryans. Bear crawl to the toilet again, but this time, sincere there’s really nothing left in your stomach, the manmakers become 10 burpees. And, the squat poopers are now done holding a coupong since it’s now much harder to get up off the toilet.

    Thankfullly, we were saved by the bell (zofran and Immodium), and the recovery process began. COT and the Animal shirt went to Cuz for his well-time one-liners that he was still slingin’ in the later rounds. YHC expresed gratitude for a chance to relive a version of the Turkey Day Horrors with concrete blocks and great men. And, now the whole PAX are looking forward to the Salmonella beatdown, which is sure to come once Enron can get out of the bathroon.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • They are wet because they are dry – from Honeysuckle

    On a colder than usual day in the gloom, YHC returned from a warm up run to find White Meat holding warm in his truck. Not long after, Lil Cuz and Pikachu pulled up. Not wanting to miss SSHs, Safety Valve arrived shortly after and we began the warmarama.

    SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm circles, cherry pickers, toy soldiers

    Mosey to the far gate. As is usually the case, some sort of run through the park is used to showcase some prepping. In this case, it was a pile of coupons and some cones spaced too far apart for Valve’s liking. White Meat complained that it was harder for him to see in the cold weather but that no one ever believes him. Valve said that it made perfect sense, because the eyes were dry. Then Meat said that they were wet. Then Zen Master Valve responded that they were wet because they were dry. And then proceeded to describe a feedback loop that detects dry eyes and causes tears to be dispensed (via some sort of valve opening, if you will). This, and White Meat doing his best impersonation of an eye doctor, carried us through the entire mosey and we arrived at the coupons.

    Thang 1:

    YHC then described the main event, which is some variation of Dora that may or may not be in the exicon. The coupon is to be moved incrementally from cone to cone (6 steps in all) and then back to the start line. On the way out, partner one runs to the coupon, lunge walks it to the next cone, then does 15 thrusters. The home partner starts 30 burpees. Then partner 1 runs back and helps partner 2 complete the burpees. When they are complete, partner 2 is released to move the coupon and partner 1 starts the 30 burpee counter again.

    Unrelated to any of this, YHC also admitted that this was not a Drew Carey beatdown, so perhaps it was better that Goose wasn’t there as he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his disappointment. Rather, YHC asked why does Cleveland Rock? The best the Pax could come up with was that it’s in Ohio. YHC then revealed that Cleveland is the home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and today we would be listening to songs from the 2024 inductees. This included Foreigner, Ozzy Osborne, A Tribe Called Qwest, Jimmy Buffett, and Kool n the Gang.

    After the six coupon steps away from the start line are done, the coupon is moved back towards the starting line. This time, the explorer partner does 25 curls upon reaching the coupon then murder bunnies to the next cone. The home partner is doing 50 big boy situps. Again, the explorer partner helps complete the 50 BBS’s before the swap happens.

    All in all, each PAX did 45 thrusters, 75 curls, and did roughly half of the 180 burpees and 300 BBS’s.

    Somehow, after initially falling behind to team LiL Suckle, team Safety Meat pulled ahead and finished first. They were fast because they were slow?

    Thang 2:

    YHC really had no idea how long this Dora would take, but as everyone pushed through the burn and didn’t take breaks, there was still a fair amount of time left. YHC had sort of prepared for this situation, so we moseyed to the playground. Valve saw right through this and immediately knew that hanging would be involved. The same teams were kept, and the first teammate had to hang while the other did 5 merkins. Then they swapped and the teammate that was just hanging now did 6 merkins while the other teammate had to hang. And so on, adding one merkin each time.

    Given the recent time warps that have been experienced in beatdowns, with both AB and Goose messing with our mental ratios of work-to-time, White Meat realized what time it was and had to leave when this was almost over. So Honey Cuz became Lil Honey Valve and we continued until 20 merkins were reached. This burned because it was cold.

    Thang 3:

    The Pax at this point wanted to do some Mary and go home, but not today. We moseyed back to the coupons and did farmers carrys with double coupons over the 60 yard course a few times (after a few kinks were worked out). It felt like it took so long because we only had a few minutes left.

    Eventally we reached 59:30 and moseyed to the where the flags normally are for namearama, announcements, and intentions.

    Though among the Pax there were at least 3 shirts to exchange, YHC forgot his and Meat had to leave, so no awards were handed out.

    Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thanks men for venturing out in the cold after Thanksgiving, though I am sure you were really hoping for Dox dressed as Mimi.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Thankful for Modern Medicine – from Goose

    Dox reached out to YHC yesterday afternoon needing a Q sub. Apparently, he had picked up some sort of parasite from an hours-long operation wherein he was elbows deep in a badly infected toe. YHC was grateful to honor these heroics, especially since it gave YHC the opportunity to build a beatdown around a big toe that’s still recovering from surgery. There would be no running or side straddle hops, but there would still be plenty to be grateful for.

    After a warmup of slow foot movements, YHC cued up a song routine suggested by a number of his 2.0’s. The song is “Popcorn” by the Barenaked Ladies from their genius kids album, “Snacktime”. Seriously, do yourself a favor and put it on next time you’re on the road with the fam.

    The only move possible for the trigger word “pop” is Moroccan Nightclubs, so that’s we did. Can’t say it was the greatest routine (or explanation of its connection to the Thanksgiving theme) but it wasn’t the worst.

    We then grabbed coupons and walked over to the field by the big flag where we circled around Bose’ mounted on his concrete throne. YHC then rambled a bit about the difference intentionally cultivated gratitude makes, especially as a remedy for self-pity and resentment. Today we’d cultivate a little gratitude via the letters of the word “Thanksgiving”.

    Each letter stood for an exercise that we’d do three rounds each of, Tabata style (45 seconds on, 15 seconds off). It went like this:
    * Tricep presses (deep, burning foreshadowing)
    * Hand release merkins
    * American hammers
    * Nolan Ryan’s (switch halfway through the middle of the second round)
    * Kettle bell swings
    * Sit-ups, WWIII variety (to the great delight of Lil’ Cuz)
    * Goblet squats
    * Inchworm Merkins
    * V-ups (prompted my M to ask, “Which exercise has you pulling up handfuls of grass and stuffing them down the back of your shorts? What letter does that one start with?”)
    * Isometric low plank (just a low plank)
    * This is where we ran out of time, but these fine HIMS couldn’t stand not finishing, so they all agreed to see it to the end)
    * Neil Diamonds (aka Kneel Diamonds)
    * Gorilla Humpers (wide monkey humpers)

    And by the time we were done, we were all filled with gratitude. Wait, no, grass. We were all filled with grass.

    Prayers for Dox and others who are sick, and Tap prayed us out.

    Grateful for these awesome dudes getting up early on a holiday, the only hype being that we’d be couponing. And, grateful for the excuse to stuff myself today.

    SYITG,
    Goose