F3 New Orleans

Tag: Maneater

  • Railroaded – from Goose

    YHC was admittedly excited about the idea for this beatdown. It came much earlier than the usual 10pm the night before, and YHC even hyped it two days early hoping to stir some interest. However, with crickets on the GroupMe and excuses flying like flatulence at the Lion’s Den, it looked like there may be no one to enjoy such a highly anticipated feast of chance, strategy, teamwork, and train tracks. But, a strong representation of the PAX (even Dox, who had to leave early to get to clinics) charitably made their way to the Peltch this morning worked up enough interest to make it all feel worthwhile.

    Enough of the pleasantries, this beatdown was a cutthroat competition for European dominance via railway, and it went something like this:

    YHC: Alright, 6:30, let’s get warmed up.

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    (…this leads to all but Valve discussing said movie, which left YHC and Valve the only ones doing any counting. Some definite foreshadowing here…)

    (All mosey to the Thunderdome where the board game “Ticket to Ride is set up on a cinder block-carboard table)

    YHC: Ok, here are the rules. We’ll split up into three teams of three players each.

    (Counts off–teams are: 1. Dox, AB, YJ 2. Pope, White Meat, Duke 3. Valve, Maneater, YHC)

    YHC: Each team will pick a card, which has a route on it. You’ll need to place your colored train cars on the different colored tracks that will connect all the cities on your route to connect the start and end points in a non-stop chain of trains.

    Dox to AB: Ok, if we start with this one here in Zurich, we can connect to Venezia…

    YHC: Hey, listen to the instructions, you can strategize later.

    Dox: I can do both at the same time.

    YHC: Not so sure. …So, you can claim a track connecting two cities if you do the exercises and the reps that correspond to the color of the track and the number of train cars it indicates you need. So,…

    AB to Dox: I think we should make our way through Duetchland. Did you notice that I said “Deutchland”? That’s because I…

    YHC: You’re gonna want to pay attention to this. So, if a track has three red car spaces, you would look at this board and see that a red car space means 15 merkins, so each member of your team would need to do 45 merkins.

    YJ: (While AB and Dox are whispering and pointing to Amsterdam) Wait, what color are we?

    YHC: And, if there is an engine on a space, that means you need to run to the gate and back.

    Maneater: Nope

    YHC: And, if another team claimed a track you need, you can put one of your stations on the city it connects to and use that track, but a station is earned by your whole team bear crawling around the perimeter of the thunderdome.

    Dox to AB: …and if we cut through Budapest…

    YHC: Oh, and these spaces outlined in black are tunnels. That means the reps are doubled for those spaces. Here are the exercises and reps indicated by each color track/space on the board:

    -Red: 15 Merkins
    -Black: 10 Burpees
    -Blue: 15 Jump Squats
    -White: 15 Bonnie Blairs (2:1)
    -Green: 20 Big Boy Situps
    -Orange: 20 Crunchy Frogs
    -Pink: 20 Toe taps (plank, reach through and touch opposite toe, 2:1)
    -Yellow: Line jumps for 1 min, 20 second break between (two feet jump back and forth over a line)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    YHC: Once you’ve completed the route on the card, you can pick another route card, either a short one or a long one, but if you pick it, you’re committed to completing it. For the cards you complete, you get the number of points indicated on the card, but for the ones incompleted, you lose that number of points. You also will get points for each train car on the board, and the longer the track chosen between cities, the more points you get for it.

    AB to Dox: …we should definitely go through Essen. I have a lot of friends there…

    YHC: Any questions? Guys! I said, “Any questions?”

    YJ: Wait, what team am I on?

    YHC: Ok, begin!

    (YHC, Valve, and Maneater immediately start cranking out 60 crunchy frogs apiece, and White Meat, Pope, and Duke are doing what seems to be 10 minutes worth of big boys. Meanwhile, the blue team seems to have claimed three or four full tracks before anyone else gets back to the board.)

    Dox: Alright, now we just need these three and an engine to go up to Kobenhaven…

    Valve: No! Why in the world do you need Kobenhaven?? Goose! We gotta run!

    Maneater: Oh, God

    (Goose and Valve take off in an effort to beat AB, Dox, and YJ to the gate and back, but it doesn’t matter–somehow, they’ve already done the other exercise reps needed to claim that track, so YHC’s team is stuck with a perimeter bear crawl in order to place a station. I mena, you can’t get to Stockholm without going through Kobenhaven!)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    Dox: Alright, we’re done with this route, let’s pick another card.

    Pope: (as he finishes his 80th Bonnie Blair) Did he say “done with this route”?

    YHC (internally): I never want to do another crunchy frog for as long as I live.

    Valve to Maneater and YHC: Well, it looks like we could either do 60 burpees or 80 crunchy frogs to get to Pamplona.

    Maneater and YHC: Crunchy frogs it is.

    Pope: No! Blue claimed the track we needed again! I guess those Bonnie Blairs were wasted. Gotta do another perimeter craw.

    AB: We’re running out of blue train cars to put on the board. Let’s just start using the black ones.

    Dox to AB and YJ: Alright, we’ve done seventeen cards, and it’s 7:15, so I’ve got to go. You guys ought to be able to get another ten or twelve, huh?

    AB and YJ: You bet–we’ve got plenty of gas in the tank. This is fun!

    YHC to Valve: (panting heavily) I’m having trouble seeing straight–what color is that?

    Valve: It’s blue–they’re all over the board, like a stage 4 cancer

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    AB to YJ: So, that’s 60 total big boys. How many have you done so far?

    YHC to AB: Wait, are you guys each doing all the reps, or are you splitting the total amongst your team?

    AB: Don’t worry, we’re splitting them up. We wouldn’t be so crazy as to each do all those reps. That would be ridiculous.

    YHC to White Meat and Pope: Are you guys splitting them up?

    Pope: No, we’re each doing the whole rep total.

    YHC to AB: Exactly! That’s what we’re all supposed to be doing!

    AB: Dox was confident that he heard it was a compilation. And now he’s on his way to work soothing his lemon truck woes with the smug confidence of an inevitable victory.

    Valve to YHC: Injustice happens. Looks like we’re bear crawling another lap.

    (AB and YJ honorably change their rep counts with 10 minutes left to match the actual rules somehow missed in the explanation, knowing that there will be some substantial point docking at the end. The other two teams keep on keeping on, all the while completely avoiding all black tracks. Seriously, not one burpee was done. It’s amazing what lengths we’ll go to to avoid burpees when given any other option.
    7:30 hit and points were tallied with the blue team graciously forfeiting 1/3 of their points. Counted off and three wearables were rewarded: Phil the Pain went to Pope, The Fire Within went to Valve, and Blue Tube went to YHC)

    YJ: (Prayer)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

  • Acrogym – from Paradox

    Non expanding recreational foam (NERF).

    Sounds harmless. Sounds goofy. Sounds, dare I say , fun. But what if YHC told you an individual spent major portions of their life playing with the aforementioned materials and never once asked what it stood for. Now before you go and title my biography “Blissful Ignorance “ let’s go deeper. What if that same individual led an entire sophomore classroom in a riot after answering a teacher “nerf or nothing“ as an answer to an algebra problem. Lots of self worth tied up in a hidden acronym right? That’s the depth of emotional trauma YHC found himself experiencing after learning of the truth about NERF. How many more acronyms were out there, hiding in plain site, ruining lives??Are there others who have been hurt like this? This could happen to anyone!!

    Two options were left , stew in my rapidly expanding negativity or let it fuel a recreational campaign so that no man would ever be hurt by an acronym like this again.

    So PAX, today I bring you…

    ACROGYM!

    DUKE !
    Convert that DOS to film and Roll the beautiful footage!

    9 Tuesday Tuff regulars at the stage with light hints of fall weather.. (no sudden movements, we don’t want to spook it)

    YHC moseyed in from a quality control check on Settlement porta potties, reporting to the pax that all were aging like fine wines.
    Props to the men who weathered both the sweet and sour Valve beatdowns of Saturday and Monday, many well earned groans were heard in warmups. Valve enjoyed hearing the sweet symphony of weakness leaving their bodies.

    We headed into yonder loop with a standard issue Indian Run 3 Apollo drop off.

    YHC struggled to find true acronyms named bands or songs so I went all in for a REM mile and peppered the pax with some of their top hits. Goose smelled the competition like a shark with blood and was warming up the neurons connecting Apollos and “Man on the Moon” while giving VH1 level behind the scenes info on their videos. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I found out REM and Depeche Mode existed in the spring of ‘24….everybody hurts, even Goose sometimessss.

    Tha THANG

    Split into teams
    -teams designate a Speaker/writer
    (Man must be gifted in writing and moseying simultaneously)

    Classic 1/2 numbering stacked up the trivia titans of Americas Best Goose & Suckle (sounds like a really weird bar in Austin…a story for another time) .

    They looked around nodding like the trivia version of the 85 Bears linebacker core and YHC had to intervene before someone got hurt.

    Somewhat more evenly balanced teams were restored and YHC would serve as live corespondent.

    Rules:
    -Introduce the Acronym.
    -Each team mumbles incoherently then runs in opposite direction to complete 10 jump squats and 10 merkins then run back all while discussing what the acronym stands for.
    -Writes answer on board (in a timely and legible manner)
    -reveal , winner with most correct words/points

    Winner
    LBCs/SSH

    Loser
    10 Thrusters

    Tie – 7 burpees

    Journal Observations

    -I was never offered a bribe for hints which was honorable although significant amounts of snark, board holding, and “cursive writing” were frowned upon.

    -Team AB approach:
    Step 1: hey does anybody know this one?
    Step 2: ask Maneater if he is in IT?
    Step 3 : wildly accept guesses on the run back while AB initimidates the other team with his LL stats.

    -Team Goose approach
    Step 1: Listen in awe at Honeysuckle’s clear logical thought process and bottomless tech vocabulary.
    Step 2: repeat step 1 and fill in the gaps with hieroglyphics.

    Let’s begin:

    LASER
    Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission Radiation

    Team Goose off to a solid start with what will be the only perfect score. Team AB with 3/5 and ate a thruster sandwich, a bit unfair here as HS deals with “sharks with freaking laser beams” as part of his defense contract

    BASE (jumping)
    Building , Antenna, Spans, and Earth

    Tie Game

    Most of the processing speed over at Team AB went to congratulating themselves on making the E “Edge”. Ronnie protested that true courage entails not putting limits on where one can BASE jump.

    ****Musical Interlude ***
    REM
    End of the World
    IW on Song
    Goosie On “End of the World”

    *Lenny Bruce checks under his bed for Goosies

    CAPTCHA
    Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart

    Some great chatter over at Team Goose led to a win followed by a flatulent Pope captcha on his father’s own coupon. Can concrete hold scent particles, only Alan Turing knows.

    ZIP (code)
    Zone Improvement Plan

    Tie game as both teams secured “zone” and later spawned a potential “guess that zip code” mini beatdown.

    JPEG
    Joint Photographic Expert Group

    -teams had broken down into crude insults and resume inquiries at this point . No hint of joint expert groups on either side.

    TASER
    Thomas A Swifts Electric Rifle

    -most of the chatter here concentrated on potential for Thomas Rosyters All Natural Bee Rifle – patent pending. Just know if you roll into Rienzi unannounced that he’s packing.

    Throwback sprint finale:
    DOS (as in MS-DOS)
    Disc operating system

    Both teams were close enough here to avoid thrusters and the plant siren was calling 6am.

    Ronnie passed along Animal to Meat for reckless endangerment while his chest hair alone worked its way up the “voter distraction” list.

    Intentions for continued medical work up for mutiple 2.0s

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Postscript:

    Bacronym to the Future

    PAX,

    This is Dox writing you from the year 2054, inside the Rienzi stronghold that is now Merica.

    We remain the last of our species rebellion in the great ChatGPT war.

    We are safe at the moment, between waves of CAPTCHA mediated extermination by the artificial intelligent enemy.
    Professor Suckles patented Bee Laser (Blaser) has the stronghold secure and keeps the GPT drones away.

    President Wells still leads the human race as he was a pioneer in spotting AIs weakness to understand the futility of passive aggressive unnecessary emails. It was our biggest breakthrough since the war began , allowing us to pinpoint other computer blindspots and communicate under their RADARs with ancient JPEGs and DOS files.

    Slowly the remaining members of the human race realized that a small band of men had actually unknowingly been training to beat the CAPTCHA test. You see, AI could scope the width and depth of the internet, calculate algorithms at an instant, and even produce a hi res images of your friends with bicep veins. But gradually we began to find that the gaps of AI knowledge were actually the cornerstones of male bonding.

    AI couldn’t decipher the unspoken message of a Nicolas Cage GIF. AI didn’t know why LBC methane labeled as “airport cheese” gets a laugh everytime. There is no processor for understanding why an educated man would make “Turn Down for What” his anthem. Not enough RAM to see why a 10 second video of a snapping Turla could become a lifelong inside joke.

    But it was just there.

    Outside of the ones and zeroes, in the gloom of our shared suffering and in the image of our creator we gained our edge.

    That’s why you men must continue to sharpen the irons of F3 Thib.

    One day in the future the CAPTCHA will be at the door.

    And when it ask if ye be man or bot?

    You will know ..

    It’s NERF or nothing .

    SYITG
    Dox

  • F3 Monopoly – from Safety Valve

    YHC set out to devise a beatdown that incorporated a Paradox level of creativity, with an AB level of confusing instructions, and a dash of competitiveness that would make Goose proud. YHC also needed to figure out a way to get the PAX to fill the 80 pound GORUCK medicine ball that Wet Tap gifted to us. What came of this mix was the first edition of F3 Thibodaux Monopoly.

    Upon arriving at the Peltch, YHC was feeling confident. Got there early enough to set up, but after fiddling with the light at the tennis courts with no luck, time was running low. After choosing the thunderdome and setting up, YHC ran to greet 5 other Hims about 3 minutes late. Enron would be proud. Pope was already back asleep in his bed by the time SSH started since YHC forgot to pick him up on the way. There are some things in life that your friends will never let you forget. Along with showing up late that one time, this might be added to the list.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Willy mays hays
    Imperial walkers
    Wind mills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Self love

    Indian run mosey through the Peltch with a 5 merkin drop off ensued to warm ourselves up for the game at hand. We eventually ended up at the thunderdome where the board was set-up.

    Game-play:
    Stations/Properties up for grabs:
    1. Wet Tap’s Water Works – Thrusters
    2. Advanced Eye Avenue – Jump Squats
    3. Family Doctor Clinic Way – V-ups
    4. Enron Tax – Curls
    5. Goose’s Place – Bonnie Blairs
    6. Mitchell Family Eye Lane – Merkins
    7. Suckles Railroad – Reverse Flys
    8. White Meat Plantation Road – LBCs

    Each PAX member started on a property and completed as many reps as possible. The timer for the AMRAP was the PAX at the “Pass Go” space completing 20 BBSU. After completing the 20 BBSU, this person rolled a die. If the number rolled was a 1, 2, 3, or 4. That person got to add that many scoops of sand to the 80 pound medicine ball. Rolling a 5 put you in “free parking” where you skipped the next property and held plank for the duration of the following persons turn. Rolling a 6 put you in jail – the only way to get out of jail was to complete 20 burpees. The PAX member who completed the most reps at each property owned that property at the end of the game. By the time the medicine ball was filled, tap owned most of the city. That meant he got to go first for the next thang.

    The medicine ball, henceforth known as “Tiny”, had to make it back to the flag somehow. Each person would get a chance to hold our new baby and take 20 steps toward the flag with her. That person also got to decide the mode of transport for the rest of the PAX. After going through bear crawls, crawl bear, lunges, reverse lunges, broad jumps, bunny hops, etc. we finally made it. Unfortunately, there was still time on the clock and YHC’s truck was parked next to the thunderdome. We brought Tiny back to where we came from. This time with the rest of the PAX doing sprints to the flag and back to the person carrying Tiny.

    COT, prayers lifted up, Tap prayed us out.

    #Renewyourvalves
    Love God and love others. This is all.

  • Turn it up to 13 (by Coyote) – from Goose

      YHC hopped out of the truck on this dark and refreshingly chilly morning, the Q adrenalin pumping through my body as YHC got ready to unleash the teenage beatdown. “No more fun and games,” YHC thought. “I’m going to give them a real beatdown.” The morning started well, YHC noticing that the number of men present was the biggest that YHC had ever seen at a Coyote beatdown. Suddenly, YHC saw a large white truck roll into the rocky parking lot, and a man I had never seen at a beatdown hop out. “Dumpster Fire?!” YHC guessed. No, an FNG had come to join us! 6:30 came, and suddenly, both 
Paradox and Goose revealed the game balls, Paradox wearing the Fire Within, and Goose with the Blue-tube. We started with the classic Side-straddle-hops, Safety Valve driving in right as we stopped. The warmups ended shortly after, and YHC introduced what we were going to be doing. “For this beatdown,” YHC started, “I thought I might do everything that I hate, and one of those things is coupons!” The Pax grabbed one for each brave soul, and we moseyed over to the long-forgotten hill by the park. YHC announced, “Another thing that I hate is Dora!” We partnered up, and YHC introduced the exercises, 100 Thrusters, 150 WWIII Sit-ups, and 200 Curls, and the mode of transportation being bear-crawl over the hill, and crawl-bear back. Partners were picked, YHC partnering up with Pope, and Goose started the well-thought-out “F3 Weird Al grinder” playlist.
    The Thang commenced, Pope cranking out WWIII’s like nobody was watching. The music was very attention-getting, and when the eleven-minute song “Albuquerque” came up, all ears went to the crazy song. When the Dora was done, we dragged ourselves and the coupons over to the field by Bayou Road, and YHC presented Thang 2. Since YHC is turning 13 on Tuesday, YHC said that we would do 13’s instead of 11’s, one side starting with one 4-count Nolan Ryan, and the other side 12 Inchworm Merkins, all the while listening to Weird Al crank out his parodies. This turned out be way harder than YHC planned, the Nolan Ryans hard to count, and the Inchworm Merkins almost impossible to complete without a little modification.
    After the 13’s, YHC presented the final Thang. As much as we could, the Pax and I would try to accomplish a “Tunnel of Love” across the entire field. It failed miserably, the 2.0’s all getting launched into the air by Man-Eater. Exhausted, YHC called out for us to go back to the flag. We lugged our coupons back to the flag, and commenced with the count off, numbering an impressive 16. When the time came to name our victim, we were ready for some weird stuff. The name came out to be “Blue,” or “My boy Blue,” coming from the facts that he was in the navy for 24 years, and he felt like he had to go back to college. I owe him an apology, not meaning for this to be his first beatdown. (Hopefully we’ll see him again…) When shirts came up, Paradox gave the Fire within to YHC for an IPC level workout. (Get ready to see it hanging off my shoulders next week.) Next, Goose passed the Blue-tube to White Meat for showing us the proper way to count Nolan Ryans. Man-Eater prayed us out, and we ended with a characteristic Paradox Pic.
    Happy Birthday to all those other birthday boys, Popeye tomorrow, Jackknife, Monday, Wet tap and I Tuesday, and any others not mentioned. Until next time, God bless!
                                                                         Coyote

  • Bringing Force to the Balance – from America’s Best

    YHC almost fell into the shower the other day. The strength and balance to not fall on my face was attributed to F3, and so YHC decided to focus on balance for this beatdown.

    Warmarama preceded by a half-fast disclaimer for the FNG.
    SSH, Windmills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, mountain climbers, cherry pickers, self love, not in this order.

    Thang Number One: Modified Dora

    150 coupon curls while partner bear-crawls out and moseys back. Each time a partner begins the curls, however, he must first do 4 standing on the left leg, then 4 on the right leg.

    150 Prime-Time Merkins, as the partner murder-bunnies out and rifle carries back. All of the merkins should have been alternating feet, but some of the PAX proved themselves Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time Players and only did the first 8 as such.

    250 Air Squats, again with the first 8 on one leg only. Partner takes a lap.

    As punishment for merkin malfeasance, the PAX took a quick mosey/nur before:

    Thang Number Two: Balancing Bedlam–>Joe Cocker–>Wreck it Ralph

    PAX circles two bricks. One man balances one foot on a brick in the center, leaning over to pick up a second brick, then puts it back. During this, the remaining PAX in the circle are holding Mission Impossible. Every time the man on the brick touches the ground, all do a Ranger Merkin.
    (Change the middle man each time, alternating in Al Gore with Bobby Hurleys, and standard plank with standard merkins. Repeato.)

    During each round, about one minute of a song plays, and once that minute is up, the PAX guess the year it was released. The difference between their guess and the actual year is the number of Burpees we all get to do. [EDIT: In an effort to further game-ify (confuse), YHC decided that we would also subtract the number of times the man in the middle picked up the brick, then use the absolute value of that for our number of Burpees. This led to absolutely no strategic changes, as everyone still tried to pick up the brick as many times as possible. These guys are competitive!]
    A second trivia element was also woven in, as all the songs had a common theme. Guess that theme, and we would cut the number of Burpees in half (wrong answers would double them). Maneater provided the correct answer (bands have color in the name) around round 4, but since it was AFTER we had done the burpees for that round, YHC ignored it until the next round.
    Takeaways: As expected, Honeysuckle’s internal gyroscope was activated and he demonstrated the greatest balance. Enron kept his balance surprisingly well, and provided an uncanny Joe Cocker impression when he did fall. The PAX in general did very well on guessing year, but it didn’t matter, because math.
    YHC was undisputedly the worst at balancing, going full Mario and breaking the brick, signifying the end of the beatdown.

    COT
    In spite of avoiding eye contact with Goose, Wet Tap earned the Blue Tube.
    FNG became ShamWow.
    Safety Valve Prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • St. Dominic Rosary Ruck – from Smooth Operator

    8/28/24
    St. Dominic Rosary Ruck

    ManEater
    Honeysuckle
    Wet Tap
    Enron
    Safety Valve

    YHC arrived at 5:17 happy to see the Pax waiting with ruck sacks instead of just a bunch of people less vehicles.

    YHC had a rosary ruck planned which entailed showing the Pax one of the few prayerful activities that had stuck in YHC shift working life. The daily rosary podcast has kept me awake many mornings on the ride home from the plant. This morning YHC picked a meditation on St. Dominic which explains the peculiar way the podcast makers prays the rosary. YHC had forgot his speaker this morning so the pax stayed close to listen in and lift up there prayers to the health care workers and patients in the hospital. We ended up making 2 laps around the hospital and an extra bonus double back loop at the end. After the rosary we discussed ways we say the rosary a little and a-lot about the hospital side by side and a Hatfield and McCoy situation down in the south Houma realm of the world.

    The Pax made it back at 0602 having rucked 2.2 miles. We counted off and offered up one last prayer especially for a Pax member and Pax member’s M having contracted Covid. Thanks to Safety Valve for praying us out and Thanks for coming out and rucking around and finding out.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Tampico’s got them $15 drinks – from Cardinal

    As Big and Rich famously sang, “We’re coming to Morgan Cit-ay!” So we decided to put a little ting in our tang tang and make the trip to see what Cardinal has been up to on his rucks. Smooth operator arrived in his truck with the glow of having two new batteries installed.

    Cardinal set the pace and it was brisk. He ignored Maneater’s comments about the how fast we were going and possibly sped up. And only Cardinal knew where we were at any given time; it just felt like we were right in the middle of everywhere.

    The city is certainly taking a victory lap for Vernon Norwood, but who could blame them.
    Early on we made it to a levee that had a nice paved path. This led us to one of the City’s main throughfares, flanked by a hospital and a Wal Mart. We were then instructed to go to Thibodaux if we needed hospitals or Wal Marts, even though we were right there.

    Next was a donut shop and coffee shop. It felt like the olfactory version of Odysseus passing the sirens, and if one of us would have suggested to stop I think it would have happened. Way to stay strong guys!

    Then the high school football stadium. Cardinal is actively manicuring his friend list to include someone with the authority to allow him access to this stadium. Maneater is ok if that process takes a while.

    At this point it felt like we were several miles away from Holy Cross. Then suddenly it was like the ending of Usual Suspects plus The Sixth Sense put together as we rounded a corner and Holy Cross was in view. Cardinal had us finishing up right at 6, wrapping up a challenging but pleasantly “cool” morning that we were going to assume was several degrees cooler than Thibodaux.

    We’re going to do our best to fly higher than a jet airliner to Morgan City in a few weeks to see what else Cardinal has up his sleeve!

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Keep it 100 – from Paradox

    5 Ruckers deep
    YHC wanted to keep it 100 today

    Da Men
    Valve- Eater-Suckle-Tap

    A solid crew of rucking regulars (minus Tidy)

    Warm up on the Fly
    Many felt discomfort

    Da Work – Benjamin’s

    Ruck 2 Track

    40-30-20-10 Ruck Squats
    Lap
    40-30-20-10 Ruck OHP

    Lactic acid checks were written on the 1st and second floors. Withdrawals available in the am.

    Other Rucking Discussion

    – Wikipedia college degrees
    – Corneal Tattoos
    – Jurassic park death count
    – Eye Doctor copyright wars
    – Basic Institutions of healthcare
    – Goats in the Machine incentive programs

    MC Ruck is brewing for 8/21
    BK 500 is 9/28

    Intentions for retreats

    COT and Tapper prayed us out

    Did we keep it 100?
    Is there an entire industry for phallic symbol corneal tattooing ?
    Did the guy in the opening scene of JP even die???

    Only 5 men know the deep truths today…but ya know they have a saying over at the advanced institution

    Real Eyes
    Realize
    Real Lies

    Watch your step and keep it atleast 99 today.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Bone Apple Teeth – from Paradox

    A few years ago during YHCs RCIA journey I had a great sit down with a priest to answer a few questions about the sacrament of confession. Ya see YHC had only seen the movie versions of confession and basically all I knew was I had to get in a boo box somewhere and that usually the priest was a double CIA agent covertly seeing if I was tied up in a small town murder plot. Well, after a thorough explanation of what real confession was and was not , (mortal vs venial sins etc) I was left with only one question: What if you have done or said something really really exceedingly stupid but no-one knows about it? Not necessarily a sin but something that may have altered the entire fabric of your vocabulary and, if left untold, would eat away at you and those around you for decades. The priest after assuring me being stupid was not a sin smiled and said “that’s easy, you just tell the really bad ones to a trusted friend, have a laugh, and move on”

    Well , Here we are my friends.

    Welcome to the Boo Box

    Duke!! Get your Ruck !!
    Roll the bean footage and let’s get this nipped in the butt.

    5 Road warriors strong at the colosseum. We took a steady ruck from Nichols across the bridge of Terapeltchia into Peltch Major until making our destination of the EDW track.

    Here YHC revealed he would be confessing to four obscenely incorrect uses of common phrases used at different eras in my life .

    We would commemorate each with an exercise , Indian ruck a track lap , rinse and repeat.

    1.) “Let’s Get down to Brass TAX”

    Most of these had similar origin stories. YHC, in his Homerian learning center, heard the phrase from grown ups, assumed it meant something else, justified it with my own experiences and went about my merry childhood. For example, when adults got serious, usually with a business deal or related finances, they were ready to go beyond your regular gen pop taxes and do Brass taxes . You know, you go into your CPAs office and tell them straight up that you have a job and kids and it’s time to do brass taxes and that was that. I considered that if I studied hard enough maybe one day I would even see my brass taxes at work.

    Later, after all that studying I stood in an OR as a 25 year old med student. Across from me a senior surgeon told a story of an emergent trauma surgery during a mission trip in Guatemala. They needed to stop internal bleeding with limited supplies and he had a surg tech find a brass tack from a tool box, sterilize it, and pinned a section of colon until the correct tool could be utilized. (No big deal)
    He was impressed at how attentive I was to his story but had no clue I was really just stunned that brass tacks existed and how the loss of my brass tax goal had just been demolished.

    Brass Tax Ruck Bobby Hurleys
    We did 25 of them .

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    2. ) State of The ARK

    This one started a little younger. Someone on TV describing a yacht that had State of the Art technology. YHC , fresh from Bible school thought it was great that Noah and his biblical story of trust were recognized in modern times. I then assumed that anything with new cutting edge tech must therefore be State of the Ark. Luckily, well before serious college interviews, (I def had a drivers license though) while serving as a VBS counselor I instructed several children in a PE game called State of the Ark. While we were laughing at watching the kids do a relay race picking up stuffed animals I couldn’t help but notice how funny the other adults thought “state of the Ark” was. I laughed with them but swiftly found a Britannica at home to learn the Truth. Still to this day when I see a really big fancy boat , I whisper to myself “State of the Ark”…

    We did 25 State of the Ark Monkey Swings (Kettlebell swings with ruck)

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    3.) STATUE of Limitations

    This may have been the most painful. If you have an older brother in your life you know they smell your ignorance like a shark smells blood . When mine had returned home from a semester at college I informed him that I was using his clothes and room at my own behest and then doubled down to tell him the Statue of Limitations on those items was up. I was then led through my first (certainly not my last) public reformation as he informed our well educated parents they had failed in my raising. He later became a lawyer while YHC continues a worldwide search for that ancient Statue Of Limits.

    We did 100 squats as our “Limitations “
    P1 hold AL Gore Statues
    P2 10 squats then swap

    We all silently considered what our own statute of limitations would look like.

    Ok Deep breath, here we go …

    4.) The Grand Daddy of them all

    YHC could take the common out here and say that I confused this phrase with For All Intensive Purposes, incorrect of course, but more commonly so. But this is about healing so we need to get to the roots. YHC first heard this phrase referring to a Christian missionary from my childhood church who we were raising money for in the community. Someone, remarking at how many roles this certain individual played in a small village, said that “for all intents and purposes “ he was the mayor of the village. YHC put together the pieces and assumed that he was the mayor for all those in TENTs and their purposes. I’d also like to take the out and say that this was corrected in days or weeks but it was YEARs of thoughts and prayers about those dwelling in Tents before YHC was again publicly reformed.

    We did 25 ruck thrusters with Intent and Purpose at the Thunder dome.

    Ruck Back to Base as Valve considered how to contact the LA medical board for a hard discussion and Honeysuckle had more pressing concerns that I could be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. We discovered Maneater is a bit of a scholar on this topic while Captain Ds silently began a search for better workout buddies.

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Honorable Mentions and Anonymous Submissions

    -20,000 leagues under the sea
    -Jose Can You See?
    -Chester Drawers
    -Bobbed Wire
    -Irregardless
    -Could Care Less
    -Cream of the Crap

    Men , thank you for listening. You had an opportunity to ostrich size me but took the height road. Whether you found this up hauling or mind bottling I can’t be sure but I am grapeful. Maybe some of you found it four meal your, but I urge you to put it in your review mirror and don’t look back. I hope this led to your own piece of mind.

    I pray that you will fill your day with the most intensive purposes that are full of intent and purpose and directed toward those that may be living in Tents on purpose.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Now Accepting New Schisms! – from Honeysuckle

    YHC arrived to Tuesday Tuff still a little in shock at what happened at the previous day’s beatdown. Because YHC wasn’t there, the goings-on were unclear based on a few cryptic GroupMe messages, but the backblast left very little to the imagination. The mood in general was upbeat, but was Paradox just putting on a brave face? Has he secretly started building a time machine (in a truck, as a Delorean was unavailable), to eventually be used to show up from the future to the 22 July 2024 beatdown to try to stop it from happening (but to ultimately show up too late due to a Go Bears stop)? Too much to process now; lets get down to business.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers

    Thangs 1 & 2:

    An on-the-fly improvement combined the plan to run first and then do the exercises second, so that the run was broken up into segments. The exercises today were to be a schism in
    form. Two teams were created, and within each team half of the participants did some sort of isometric hold while the others did exercises with movement. The reps of the exercises were counted, and the goal was to get to as high of a rep count as possible before the other teammates’ isometric holds failed. Then the same thing
    is done with the roles reversed.

    Rich man’s loop was traversed with several stops covering the following exercises:

    1) Plank (iso), merkin
    2) Al Gore (iso), Bobby Hurley
    3) Boat/canoe (iso), Big Boy Situps
    4) Crab/tabletop (iso), Bonnie Blair

    This took quite a bit of time as the PAX are in pretty good shape and those iso holds lasted a while, especially the tabletop. YHC thinks that the PAX could have held them much longer if they had to, but there was a lot of compassion for the teammates struggling through the Bonnie Blairs and wondering about the grass cultivars.

    Thang 3:

    PAX ran back to the stage. Then YHC discussed a personal schism (it creeps M out) over a song whose subject matter is supernatural beings activities in a European capitol. Goose correctly guessed “Werewolves of London.” There was lots of confusion among “An American in Paris”, “An American Werewolf in London”, and “An American Werewolf in Paris” (the last of which does not exist). Other trivia was, what food is a werewolf looking for (Beef chow mein) and what drink was a werewolf observed drinking (Pina Colada). The PAX did not get these. Ultimately they were to be saved by the bell so they endured no penalty.

    While we listened to the song, PAX could choose to SSH or Hillbilly walk. During
    the howl and chorus, PAX was to do werewolves.

    YHC expected someone to note the similarity in the song with “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock, and Paradox couldn’t put his finger on the song but knew several lyrics. This was going to be part of the post-song trivia: what song was the “Werewolves of London” accused of ripping off the chord progression from (Sweet Home Alabama). And then what later song was a melding of “werewolves in London” and “Sweet Home Alabama” … the answer being “All Summer Long”.

    Announcements included the ANIMAL going from Paradox to Goose, due to Goose answering the bonus question of the line (from WIL) “I’d like to meet his tailor” sometimes being changed to mention what singer/songwriter (A: James Taylor). The Fire Within went from YHC to Popeye for a belated appreciation of forcing YHC to face his fears of doing weighted crabwalks in last week’s beatdown.

    Paradox has been hard at work with planning the Brother’s Keeper 500. Look for details soon.

    Paradox also prayed us out.

    Thank you, gentlemen, for showing up and for your effort today.

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine:
    Upon further reflection, “Werewolves in London” seems to capture the relationship between F3T and schisms. On the one hand, there are warnings about them and angst about what they do, but there is a clear undertone of admiration.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle