F3 New Orleans

Tag: Mom Jeans

  • It’s The Climb – from Paradox

    YHC recently finished “Into Thin Air” by John Krakauer, a first hand account of a tragic Everest expedition in 1996. It turned disastrous after a freak storm hit the summit during the only window multiple competing teams had to make it to the top. A great read if you want a deep dive into the world of high summit climbing and especially if you really, really never want to even consider strapping on a pair of crampons.

    But it got my wheels turning about bucket list items and the wild ambitions a man can find on this planet. (There’s a beatdown coming here later but just sit tight with your hookahs for a moment.)

    Ya see, There have been short periods of time when YHC had his own aspirations as a mountain climber. First in my early 20s and then I left a rock climbing gym with a hernia. The staff said “first time climbers” shouldnt recreate Tom Cruise mission impossible stunts but what do they know.
    Undeterred, a few years later I headed up a mountain in Breckinridge, CO (brek brah) during a med school trip and was met with acute altitude sickness. It will shock none of our local pax to hear that my body shuts down if I leave the state lines or an altitude of 100 feet. Those trips to the oxygen bar did have a silver lining as I found out my future M would leave her friends and nurse a redneck bafoon to health.
    Now in a real pickle, I had met both physical and even genetic barriers to my climbing goals . But nonetheless my 7th grade bucket list item remained.! Mrs Smith, our English/creative writing teacher (who planted the seeds of back blasting 101), had instructed us that no item was too far fetched to put on our list. So right there sandwiched between “Ironman triathlon “ and “learn English” was “climb or visit the 7 summits”. But here I was, like a 5:02am YJ bowel movement , stuck between a rock and a hard place as time ran out. The opportunities flushing fast and the midlife crisis impending as YHC saw his 7th grade dreams replaced by watching men in verbal altercations about the glory of a hand jive. Was my musical life just a sing-along this whole time??

    Panic stricken, I made a plan…

    I wouldn’t climb them free and solo. (Been there , done that, have the scars)

    WE would climb them.

    And we would climb them ALL in a 45 min free men’s workout.

    Duke!! Put down that FMLA paperwork!
    We are back to blasting !!
    Roll the beautiful mountain bean footage!!

    YHC rolled in a 1/2 minute late to a Lions Den boiling over with pax. Safety Valve continues to make up for a lifetime of missed SSH and provided a prompt courtesy warmup for the men. Fighting shadow GroupMe Q stealers and cumbersome garage coupons this beatdown theme was already heating up as a true uphill battle for YHC. We hit the usuals with continued slow high knee pax not maximizing their zone 2 cardio and our Lake Charles brothers wondering if the cadence here in Thibodaux is done in synchronized ear buds.

    YHC gave the pax a little warmup mosey while slipping in hints to the big Thang.
    7 nation Army was a nod to the 7 summits and the only riff I could try to learn on a guitar to looked cool in 2005.

    Next up YHC needed to sell the allure of the mountains. We had “ Big rock candy mountain “ by Harry McClintock and he’s a fine salesman, ensuring us there would be no rain, wind or bull dogs with real teeth.
    A perfectly weird tune that we performed MCs, plank jacks and coupon merkins to.

    These young sherpax also required belay certification. YHC obliged by splitting them into two teams and utilizing a standard issue Mardi Gras football for each team that needed to be transported around the civic center. They needed to spread out in a chain and throw the ball one man at a time. With a drop equaling 3 burpees. And continuous squats for any stationary pax. Most of the pax atleast feined understanding and this mini thang proceeded to reach 7.2 on the Maui Scale. Drone reports later cited early high altitude cerebral edema that lead to the opposing team thinking the 3 burpees happen everytime they threw their kloot. YHC sent the chopper 6 rescue for rendezvous back at base camp and the whole thing had to filed under “belayed gratification”.

    All that was left was Altitude Training so we headed to Lafourche Parishs highest point to complete 10 burpees then it was go time:

    Mount Thang a Lang

    How it should work: Team sends 1 man up the mountain to do reps up top while all alternate between 3 exercises (7-7-7) , rinse and repeat till entire team has competed.
    Winner has all team mates back and in plank

    7 rounds for the 7 highest summits on each continent(some modified for time)

    Authors Note
    ***
    There are almost as many geography schisms as Thibodaux sandwich schisms and it seems fiercely debated which of the seven summits are the “true seven”. This bd will reference the area of Oceani (Australia plus New Zealand plus Indonesia) and the concensuus across trivia books seems to be the below:

    1- OCEANIA

    Puncak Jaya (16k ft)
    what country?
    (Indonesia)
    Merkins – plank jacks -squats

    We started at a modest 16000 feet and this one may have been the toughest trivia across the board. YHCs Jawa is a little rough around the edges, compounded by wind and N. Canal traffic most of the pax thought I had sneezed and were still waiting on a question when we started burpees.

    Team 1 took a decisive victory with a shocking decision to put Maneater as the sprint finisher and Jennayyy I tell ya..this man just felt like running. It took a year or two but we finally found Maneaters trigger….NEVER Disrespect Olivia Newton John or he will run you into the ground. White Meat could not be reached for comment and we left his body and a copy of Big Lebowski for the natives on Puncak Jaya.

    2- ANTARCTICA
    Mount Vinson Massif (16)

    Penguins – Leg Raise – WW3 sit-ups

    Goosie got this one correct after heavy penguin hints.
    Team 1 had found there best horse and Maneater was again putting pure greased lightning.

    3- EUROPE
    Mount Elbrus (18k ft)
    ***Skipped for time but I think we did burpees for the trivia.

    4- AFRICA
    Mt Kilimanjaro (20k ft)
    (Easiest to climb)
    Coupon jumps, Donkey kicks, tin soldiers

    YHC meant to serenade the pax with Toto’s masterpiece here bit if you start to play it in your head now it will reach peak chorus when you finish this blast.

    5- NORTH MERKINA
    Denali (22k ft)
    Merkins- wide, regular, diamond

    All Merkins because nothing says USA like naming your most majestic gas guzzling SUV after your politically controversial named and renamed mountain.

    6- SOUTH AMERICA
    Acongua (27k ft)
    27 Monkey Humpers
    -Just seemed right

    Finisher….

    7- ASIA
    Everest (29)
    “I’m on top of the World”

    On top of having some great bd songs this band also gives you the chance to always end a tough conversation with the upper hand by saying “imagine those dragons” and then walking away. (Reader discretion advised, not for domestic use)

    We did Coupon Al Gore and Thrusters on “World”

    We finished with continuous thrusters and all legs met jello criteria.

    Back to the flag for supplemental oxygen, counting, naming and also we learned XL is actually Excel so we didn’t have anymore questions about mysterious t-shirt sizes and some mumbled comments about google sheets being superior.

    Announcements were mostly replaced by ways to let YJ know his Manniversary was a hoax or turn it into a “9th green at 9 “”situation. Backblast pending?

    Prayers and intentions for many in our regions and beyond.

    Thanks for climbing with me Pax

    I hope that in this Lenten season of lessened distractions God makes our own mountains more clear and that we have the faith to climb with what he has provided.

    Can you imagine those dragons?

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Family Feud – from Paradox

    You wake up on your couch, heart pounding as you brush off the Panera crust of last nights dinner. You turn off the 10th Dr Phil rerun and make a mental note to cool it on the charger lemonades. That familiar ill feeling falls over you as you realize you are late for work and truly in deep water because your incompetent, angry, micromanaging boss will surely make another passive aggressive comment that you have too many kids. One peek out the window and it looks like a ThunderTsumamiNado is brewing. You rush to the bathroom only to realize you are out of Old Spice but luckily there is puréed banana in the fridge for just such an occasion. You hustle out to your ole lemon of a truck. The inside smells like limes and regret. You mosey on into work avoiding the burps and curls of Thibodaux traffic. Stopped at a red light on canal, you can’t believe your eyes. Your beloved lion statue at the civic center is gone. A tough pill to swallow, seeing them pave paradise and put up a parking cawn! You are already composing the email to the authorities in your head as you pull into work. This won’t end without a Feud…heyyy what’s that beeping noise…

    You awake a second time.
    In your cozy fartsack.
    Alarm says 4:50am.
    It’s time for another beatdown.
    Whewwww, just a bad dream
    You can’t wait to get to the den and stretch your calves on that perfect 75 degree angle….

    Duke !! Wake up !
    Survey says it’s time for a last minute game show beatdown !
    Roll that beautiful footage and make sure it’s on the 1992 rolltop tv/vcr !

    Warmup
    Usuals with some serious groans of the chesticle region. Mostly done in silence as we all contemplated the loss of our lion friend and his mystery flags. Was this a targeted attack? Is there something bigger/better coming as payment for our 45 minutes/week of extra park security? And most importantly, just where in the heck are we supposed to do our pre beatdown loitering?!

    YHC led the pax in a coupon mosey drop off then transitioned into an Indian run 3 burp drop to warm the carburetors.

    Back to the …cawns (single tear) ..and YHC unveiled today would be about f3 family unity.
    Ya see F3 Thib has a long and bloody history of schisms…a few highlights from our timeline :

    1.) how to say “pirogue”
    -Early Goose Era

    Status : unsettled , please don’t ask Cardinal unless you want a homily about Acadian history.

    2.) The fitness tracker wars
    -late year 2 growth spurt era

    Status : stalemate , many casualties

    3.) The BlueTooth Conflict
    -Anker Dominant era

    Status : still healing after the death of Anker

    And the most recent blood feud may top them all …

    4.) The Earls of Sandwich
    – Rienzi Awakening Era

    Status : Some of the hottest takes about sub shops you can imagine.

    That’s just a taste of the major conflicts and so today we honor the bickering of brothers that can always be overpowered by the unity of the 3 Fs. At the end of the day we can agree to disagree and when the chatter gets unbearable …well has YHC told you about double Merkin burpees yet?

    Da Thang

    “We are family”
    IW on song
    Double Merkin Burpee on “Family” and “Sister”

    -Standard issue with AB immediately guessing Sister Sledge as the artist for 30 seconds off and later Pope guessed 1979 as the year of release for another 30 second discount.

    Mosey to Stairs for…

    F3 Family Feud

    Rules:
    Split teams
    Each team has a marker board and a designated writer.
    Given a family feud style topic that was allegedly from a “random” 100 Americans survey.

    The team must list top 3 answers and the order while running a lap around the civic center. They stop half way for 15 curls of a coupon and other curled lips of aggressive intimidation.

    Highest points wins the round.

    Winner – 10 merkins
    Loser – 10 burpees
    Tiebreak – 4, 5, 6th on list

    YHC would serve as host and journalist to report the team dynamics for the historians.

    Round 1
    Bad Qualities of a boss
    Answers:
    1. micromanagement
    2. Incompetence
    3. Angry

    Team 1 rolled out strong with Popeye clearly having some bad boss history to get off his chest . (“You sure lazy isn’t in there dox?” )
    Pope was established as the team writer since he can run 7 min miles in his sleep. He also sprinkled in some timely order changes.

    Team 1 was the victor
    Team 2 felt the sting of burpees and began the rally.

    Round 2
    You’re in deep (blank)

    Answer
    1. Doo-doo
    2. Trouble
    3. Water

    There’s a few topics you just can’t beat Goose on, the top 2 being Theology and Poop. He led his team to victory here correctly placing doo doo as number 1 and a full sweep of correct placements Team 2 handed out the burpees.

    Round 3
    Rhymes with “Will” associated with doctors.

    Answers:
    1.Bill
    2.Pill
    3.Ill

    YHC had to jog in silence as the doctor bashing began. Both teams correctly guess the qualities of this money grubbing profession and it was a Tie.
    YHC awarded the W to team 2 for the creativity of Dr Phil.

    **Wet Tap continued to lecture that some people consider burpees a win. It was looked upon in disgust by all.

    Round 4
    A wrestler named after a weather condition.

    Answer:
    1.) Tornado
    2.) Storm
    3.) Thunder

    Great debate here as our geographical anxieties put Hurricane in the forefront of the minds of both teams. Another tie and Lil cuz is watching Nacho Libre as we speak.

    Round 5 – The grand Fruitnale

    What fruit would you select if you were out of deodorant ?

    Answers:
    1.) Orange
    2.) Lemon/lime
    3.) Apple

    This one seemed to launch the greatest chatter and performed well when beta tested with YHCs family. Ronnie got off to a great debate on texture vs. smell and clearly preferred bananas. Popeye seemed to have no issue with his own body odor and considers society would better off without deodorant.
    Over in group 2 Gooses overindulgence of the Old Spice led to his prescience abilities. His eyes went blue and he was on the hunt for top rated citrus.
    Lil Cuz kept saying weird stuff about papaya but Everyone else just did their curls and lost the appetites for fruit all together.

    Group 2 edged out a win

    Shortened Mary with holding of 6 inches and leg raises.

    Intentions for families going through difficult times and graduating seniors.

    COT and Tap prayed us out.

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead.

    The Doxicology Report

    Many times you will hear a similar proclamation about F3 from guys across the nation. “It’s something I didn’t know I was missing but instantly knew I needed”. In the last few years I’ve continued to see the accuracy of this statement and it still remains difficult to quantify or even explain fully what God provides through this group. One aspect that is clear to me is that it fosters relationships where you can safely bring an opinion you know others may disagree with. This can be uncomfortable but it can also be a great opportunity to trust God in humility and to listen more than you yap. (Really tough one for yours truly )

    Whether it’s sandwich wars , Cajun dialect discussions or deeper matters YHC is grateful for a group where you can state your opinion , potentially change it based on something new and at the very least do ridiculous exercises until you forget what the issue was.

    In F3 Thib it ain’t a family without a little feuding and I reckon I’d be in deep doo doo without you fellers.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Lab Rats – from Goose

    I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that YHC enjoys digging into the kinds of interpersonal dynamics that bring about surprising chemical, pscychological, emotional, and spiritual reactions. Like, why are we willing to undergo so much physical stress and call it fun when someone else is doing it with us for no reason to bad 80’s music? Why do we push so hard just because everyone else is? What moves us? What causes us to fear and move into self-preservation? What causes us to let go of our calculations and abandon ourselves to something bigger, even if that something is just a bunch of other goofballs crawling around sweating in the grass in the dark?

    The question we’d be covering today was “Why are we constantly wondering how we measure up to the men around us?” Like, why do we subconsciously measure one another to the point where we have a pretty good sense of where we stand in the pecking order of performance for pretty much every exercise? And, in whatever field/type of exercise where we don’t exactly know how we measure up, we are very motivated to find out.

    YHC was interested in breaking this down, to see how each man responded to the measuring process, and what that challenge did to his effort. The results were fascinating.

    After a substantial warmup including Lafayette Nightclubs (sans pelvic thrusts, for most of us), old school, clapping grass-grabbers, and carioca and skip running to the sidewalk and back, we completed yet another new kind of Indian Run. (YHC has been loving the creativity with these, so wanted to keep that train going, and knew we’d be sprinting with tight legs, so…) We took the mile track around Rich Man’s Loop and through Financially Stable Man’s Alley with the last man running back to the previous light pole before catching up to the front. Yes, this was a gamble, and yes, it led to a lot of running for some, especially Paradox, who ended up having to run the length of the alley approximately three times.

    Upon arrival back at the flag, YHC announced we’d be doing merkins to failure, but each man had to do more merkins than the guy to his left, otherwise he’d incur a 10 burpee penalty. And, you got to pick who you stood next to in line. Starting with Safety Valve, each man in turn chose a place in line where he thought he could do more merkins than the man to his left and less than the man on his right. Choices were made quickly–confirmation that each man already knows his place in the pecking order, or at least thinks he does.

    The only exception to this was Smooth Operator, who constantly reveals a deep, yet lighthearted appreciation for being challenged. He chose the front of the line, the strongest position, every single time. He wanted a reason to push hard, and he wanted the burpees. Seriously. He wasn’t just looking for attention. He loves being in over his head–it lights him up in a way that reveals a deep strength, a deep stability. It’s incredible to witness.

    Here were the exercises we got to (about half the ones on YHC’s list):
    -Merkins
    -Sprint (from AB’s truck to the Stop sign)
    -Plank
    -Overhead Press (coupons)

    For the merkins, the second half of the line monitored the first half for form and counting, then flip-flopped. There were definitely some miscalculations there, but nothing egregious. Most were at least within 5 of their expectations.

    The sprint was another story. I guess we just don’t do this enough, and when we do, we’re so focused on the guy we’re trying to beat or on our own need for oxygen that we don’t get a solid bead on the men around us. Cuz, Lil Cuz was lined up as second slowest, and when he blasted off the line in a powerful, white blur, all PAX knew they had chosen poorly. YHC thought later that it might have been better to have all run at once in order to have each be motivated by beating the man next to him, but we would have missed something special. The chance to watch each of the PAX powerfully give it all for almost 100 meters was a sight to behold. These are men we know, respect, and care about, so to witness each one in turn in full effect, at 100% capacity, really did something to the heart.

    This was followed by plank to failure. We chose our places in line, per usual, and then got into plank position, staggered, head to head with the men next to us. YHC didn’t know what to expect on this one, but the rest of the PAX seemed to. Safety Valve and AB lined up in what seemed to be pretty confident positions near the front (just behind Smooth), and after three or four minutes, were still planking. Paradox won his first of two awards for one-liners when he, noticing that two eye doctors were planking head to head to the death, said something about removing the plank from your brother’s eye. AB eventually melted in the face of quiet, smiling confidence, and only one or two guys had to do burpees.

    The overhead press was squeezed in with three minutes left, and after the planks and merkins, this proved to be a killer. Brains and shoulders were mush, as made clear by the amount of burpees owed afterward, so YHC just decided all would complete the 10 penalty burpees to transition us into a panting COT.

    The rugby shirt of competition was given to Valve for his impressive holdout in the eye-plank stare-down. YHC thought he was clever in offering the temporary nickname Plankopotamus, but Dox countered with his second award-winning line of the day, Plank Williams, Jr. (YHC is comfortable in my place in the pecking order, being the one who says things that are funny enough but really just serve as fodder for Dox’s wit cannon.)

    Thanks for being willing lab rats in the pitre dish of the sweaty test tube of the Bunsen muscle burner of the exerscience lab of man-fun.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Rugby: Played by men with odd-shaped balls – from America’s Best

    This day, the last day YHC could proclaim himself 47 years old, we would do what I’ve been waiting to do for a long long time: we would play rugby. YHC knew this would be a challenge, not only because of the length of time that has passed since I last touched a rugby ball, but because almost all of the PAX has likely not even watched rugby before. Luckily, Yankee Jeaux is a fellow Virginia rugger from the same era. What are the chances? YHC would lean heavily on YJ for help with this beatdown.

    Warmarama: Co-Q’ed by Yankee Jeaux (see?) as I tended to my ball.

    The first quick Thang (bc we can’t go straight to the fun):
    Ostensibly, we learned to slide-dive, by deconstructing it into a deep squat and a “Mike Tyson merkin.”
    This was actually just YHC’s way of introducing yet another type of merkin to the PAX. Someone asked: “Why are they called Mike Tyson merkins?”
    The answer is simple: Because that’s how Mike Tyson does them.

    The Main Event: Rugby

    For the first time in a quarter century, YHC donned his old rugby jersey.
    We held plank whilst the instructions and rules were outlined.
    And upon the start of play, there was much confusion. YHC almost immediately forgot one of the most important rules (allowing Goose to accidentally cheat), and YHC forgot Enron was on his team. And confusion runs downhill…

    The highlights:
    –Mom Jeans again materialized out of nowhere, and he and a shoeless Wet Tap made a living swatting passes down like Dikembe Mutombo.
    –Enron ran the sideline to the end line more than once… once as dummy half. He didn’t attempt the try but passed for a teammate to score… this caused great controversy and YHC has still not figured out if it was legal.
    –Safety Valve was awarded 1/3 of a point for kicking the ball into the top of an oak tree.
    –Cardinal and Lil Cuz caught on quickly and by halftime (there was one?) they actually looked like rugby players.
    –Goose and Paradox showcased a rivalry not seen since Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice.
    –Yankee Jeaux played with effortless confidence, shouting down the opposition with, “I wouldn’t recommend it” in a voice that was at once Michael Caine and also the “seats taken” kid from Forrest Gump.
    –Popeye lived offsides, realizing that creating mayhem was more fun.
    –Pope is fast.
    7:30 came way too soon and we moseyed back to the flags.

    COT.

    As the PAX lamented the (hopefully temporary) loss of Animal, Gigi, and The Fleece, YHC remembered he had an old practice jersey in the truck, and made a game-time decision to award it to “most competitive.”
    (“Most competitive” and “biggest cheater” are actually the identical award, with the former being a member of one’s own team, and the latter being an opponent.)

    Cardinal prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out my dudes. As always, I hope the fun outweighed the confusion.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

    AB Sees:
    An opportunity to ramble and reflect.

    This beatdown started as a tribute to my past, a swan song to my inner Uncle Rico. But it became a celebration of the present and future. The number 47 became significant to me 30 years ago, and I began see it everywhere… and I don’t just think it’s the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon. (If you need to know what that is, please see Dox, as I’d wager he’s already on the third page of his Google search results by now).
    So I always hoped that the age 47 would bring something meaningful. . .

    Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
    But Michael Jordan more eloquently said, “The ceiling is the roof.” Really makes you think. Perhaps the most profound thought, however, comes from 20th century philosopher William Madison, who said, “… the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.”

    Where am I going with this? I have no idea.
    But I bid adieu to the past with this soon-to-be famous quote: “To everyone who wrote ‘stay cool’ in my middle school yearbook, I have some devastating news.”

    And the future? Well, in the past, the future was so bright, we had to wear shades.
    But that future is now the present. And now my future’s not so much bright as it is blurry, so I have to wear prescription multifocal lenses.

    So the present, it is a gift. Thanks to all of you for being a part of this extraordinary gift of F3 that came in my 47th year.

  • Stay off the grass. – from Popeye

    YHC arrived early to the den, noting a special kind of gloom in the air…
    Was it rain? No, looked good despite early forecasts. Perhaps the prospect of just two more days of work drudgery left in the week? No, my morning trek to the big sleazy and hours of staring at screens and tiresome conversations lied in wait.
    No, this special kind of gloom is the kind that brings a smirk to all smirkster’s faces… the kind of gloom one only gets to relish once in this life: when a VQ becomes a Q.
    Primed at the thought of getting comfortable being uncomfortable and sharing some positive pain with my fellow man, YHC dashed around the field of play like a cardboard sign fairy placing treats for the pax. It was going to be a fine morning.

    Warmarama:
    Imperial walkers (yes, a strict violation of protocol – one of YHC’s favorite things)
    Willie Mays Hays
    Mountain climbers
    (confessional about hating SSH)
    SSH x 50 just to throw fuel on the internal fire
    Wamarama complete, time to do some work.

    Preface:
    As most know, YHC has spent his adult life wearing the uniform of this great nation, and as such I felt compelled to share some similarities between F3 and military PT basics. Fun/bizarre names for calisthenics, “starting position move, in cadence – exercise!”, people taking it too seriously or not seriously enough – it’s the stuff that forms your foundation. But one specific element is different: in the service, you stay off the grass.
    For walking on the grass is indicative of a weak moral fiber; the man who needs to cut across the grass is the man who needs the shortcut. He’s the guy who fails to plan, and thus plans to fail. He’s the guy who orders his fitness regimen in a shot he can administer himself at home while watching sitcoms and eating chips.
    For today’s beatdown there were two rules:
    You rest in the forward-leaning rest position, and you stay off the grass; violations incur a 5 burpee fine.

    Thang 1:
    Pax directed to form 2 ranks. YHC immediately realized the pax were not accustomed to miltaryish terminology, so I directed 2 columns. Still not quite there, but it was time to mosey.
    Lap 1: Grass-free lap around the far reaches of the Harangarang, including the rarely-traveled sidewalk out front. Easy 20-30% effort pace, the kind that encourages chatter from the AB’s and Enrons of the world.
    Lap 2: The Pax upped the ante a bit, pushing the pedal to 60-70% effort. Not a sprint, but a heavy stride – the kind that breeds more gasp and less chatter. Lap ended in a pseudo-tunnel along the edge of the Harang center for fine arts and bullriding.

    Thang 2/Main event:
    The Pax were introduced to 5 stations:
    1 – 10 flights up near stairs; single or double step
    2 – 10 x WW3 sit ups + 10 Block-ees
    3 – 20 Bus Stop Derkins + 20 LBC’s
    4 – 20 Kettle/Coupon swings + 20 Apollo Ono (2=1)
    5 – 5 flights up yonder stairs, bunny hops

    Pax reluctantly broke into groups of 3, headed out to starting points, and we were off. Most teams made 3ish rounds of exercises, with YHC making some mental notes while playing third wheel to a Goose/Dox man date:
    – Not all stations are created equal, which disrupts the time/space continuum. Next time spread out the most painful station.
    – Even the JBL has its limits on the field of battle, the volume peaked but couldn’t really reach all stations (much to AB and YJ’s delight).
    – You never know who you’re going to meet at the bus stop! While derkining, MomJeans appeared out of thin air and joined in, and YHC was thankful for another member to break up the Dox/Goose blossoming bromance. As an aside, it was impossible not to be impressed with the bus stop’s solar-paneled roof – what is this, the future!?! Perhaps Thib is more progressive than I realized; I knew we were ahead of the times in teenager-looking eye doctors, but this was really inspiring.
    – Bunnies are underestimated in the animal kingdom, hopping doesn’t get easier the more you do it.
    – In a circuit format beatdown, insert rests, lest the the Pax take it upon themselves to insert slow strolls between stations like they’re browsing at TJ Maxx.

    Time was called and Aslan beckoned, with most Pax opting to traverse the grass and close out with a 5 burpee fine.

    Announcement:
    Downs 5k for Saturday, for those few who have miles left in them after RCR.

    COT / Ponzi prayed us out.

    Appendix: Appreciate the opportunity to lead the beatdown, and there will be more to come down the line. It’s funny how after being “in charge” so many times in my adult life, for a while now I’ve just enjoyed just doing as directed by the Q and seeing our brothers grow in ability and creativity. And it’s not lost on me that in the past I’ve led some people who are literally being paid to work out and push themselves physically don’t show the drive and passion and camaraderie we have amongst our group. Proud to be a part of this and SYITG.

  • Choose your Poi, Son! – from America’s Best

    Unbeknownst to many, YHC spent his small kid time in Hawaii… AB was just a barefoot Haole, speaking pidgin, surfing with an alien I thought was a dog, working as a private investigator, and flying around in T.C.’s helicopter. This beatdown was inspired by those days. . .

    The PAX rolled in, totaling a dozen by the time Dilly rolled on… so we began Warmarama… a bit of a pickle since we only had 10 coupons. But, like a glorious Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Paradox broke out of the circle, leapt out in to the gloom, and returned with a giant black stick that would have to suffice.

    Island 1: Hawai’i (The Big Island):

    Constantly in fear that a volcano was about to erupt, YHC’s early visits to this island were always a bit nightmarish. We pay tribute today to this childhood fear with Volcano by the late, some-say-great, Jimmy Buffet. Hold Al Gore. Burpee on “I don’t know.” Tuck jump on “Volcano.”

    Mom Jeans’ hatred of Jimmy Buffet during this segment was noted, catalogued, and will be weaponized in a future beatdown.

    Island 2: Maui – the Man, the Myth, the Island

    The trickster demigod was definitely present during this well-planned, expertly explained, and piss-poorly executed portion of your entertainment.
    The plan was a Kola (which is the closest phonetic match to Dora, since there is no “D” or “R” in the Hawaiian alphabet). Pair up, one partner is Maui, pushing up the sky (coupon presses) while the other is his brother, tricked into pulling up islands from the sea floor(moving coupons). Then Flapjack, and 2nd partner takes over the presses while partner 1 moves the coupon back to the start. The explanation was much longer, murkier, and nobody in the PAX was clear on whether they were Maui, his brother, or themselves, so everyone was moving islands all over the ocean.

    Admittedly, this part was half-baked at best. And so YHC went into full-on Dad/Tech Support mode (“Move!”) and just walked everyone through a new version: Walk backwards, with alternating sets of curls and goblet squats. A more well-planned Maui beatdown is guaranteed next time.

    Island 3: O’ahu… choose your Poi, son!

    One of my earliest memories was at a luau, learning about poi, a Hawaiian food staple. Hard to describe, it’s a fermented paste of pounded taro root. It’s like if yogurt and sweet potato had a baby. And then you ate out of that baby’s diaper.
    Anyway, you typically classify it based on consistency: “one-finger”, “two-finger”, or “three-finger”, based on how many fingers are required to scoop it up.
    So here, participants are asked to choose which poi they want. And like poi, with each added finger it gets more runny:
    1-finger poi: Roll die, do 7x that many burpees and WWII sit-ups, with murder bunnying and bear crawling (least runny/no running)
    2-finger poi: Roll die, do that many laps with 2x that number of blockees as buy-in for each lap
    3-finger poi: Run/nur until you find the Run-Cajun-Run sticker on a lamp post; then 3 burpees and run back (most runny)

    Without hesitation, Honeysuckle chose 3 and lead the other gazelles off into the unknown gloom.
    Seeming the most innocuous, 2-finger poi proved to be the most difficult. Those were the real tough guys. . .who didn’t do the math first.
    Enron and YHC were the only two bold enough to try the 1 finger poi, and were rewarded for our bravery by finishing first.

    Final Thang: The Ring of Fire
    The Ring of Fire is also a belt of volcanos surrounding the Pacific. So we did the typical Ring of Fire, but (Inner) “Circles” by Soul Coughing was played instead of the usual Johnny Cash song…
    About 2 minutes into the ‘roid rage, YHC offered to stop the thang if anyone could ID the artist… and decided to mention “this is a 10-minute song, by the way.”
    Only Popeye had even heard this song before. And so, a minute later, desperation set in, and Yankee Jeaux jumped up to check the phone and call out the artist to stop the torture.
    The song was over anyway. YJ cheated, but YHC lied.

    Pau.
    COT and Yankee Jeaux prayed us out.

    Something for my Llamas:
    Nobody knew why that song by the Animals was played this morning amongst the Hawaii-themed music. YHC’s favorite volcano is Haleakala… which is Hawaiian for “House of the (rising) Sun.”
    Another bit of trivia for you: The Hawaiian Islands were once called the Sandwich Islands, but the name was changed because it brought too much shame when Firehouse Subs was founded.

    Tanks for coming out, bruddahs. Always an honor to lead. Great seeing the consistency of White Meat (that sounds weird) and that Ponzi is posting again on the regular. And some guy named Wilford Montana made my day by showing up (sans coffee) to join us.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • The Alphabet Marathon – from Enron

    In preparation for this morning’s beatdown, YHC had the task of coming up with something that would incorporate enough running to be effective for Run Cajun Run milage, as well as keep the PAX’s minds off previously mentioned running. A few months back an idea to go through the alphabet with various exercises had arisen and YHC thought this might be the perfect opportunity to put it in place.

    10 strong staggered in on a chilly morning at the Stage only to be greeted by a couple children’s drawing books laid out on the concrete. On those two books were the letters of the alphabet with corresponding exercises written on them. Naturally, that sparked a little bit of chatter only to be stopped by circling up that PAX to start the warmup.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, WM, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, Self-Love, IW
    The 1 and Only Thang:
    The Alphabet Marathon

    Attention was drawn to the drawing boards where the letters of the alphabet were written, next to each letter was a corresponding exercise. The instructions were to perform 30 of each exercise (30 seconds of some), then run a lap around the stage after each letter’s exercise was complete. The lap is .12 miles, meaning that if the entire alphabet was completed, that PAX would have run 3.12 miles.
    The letters and exercises were as follows:
    A- American Hammers
    B- Big Boy Sit Ups – This was a last-minute decision to scratch burpees off the list. A gracious Q indeed.
    C- Coupon Curls
    D- Dips
    E- Elbow Plank (30 seconds)
    F- Flutter Kicks (2=1)
    G- Gore (Al) (30 seconds)
    H- Humpers (Monkey)
    I- Imperial Walkers
    J- J-Lo’s
    K- Kettlebell Swings
    L- Lunges 1=1
    M- Merkins
    N- No’s(Oh) – Somehow almost forgot this letter
    O- Overhead Press
    P- Pickle Pounders
    Q- Q’s Choice – This ended up being LBCs
    R- Reverse Crunches
    S- Side Straddle Hops
    T- Toy Soldiers
    U- Up Straddle Hops – A 1 legged Side Straddle hop which made for an interesting sight
    V- V-Ups
    W- World War 1 Sit ups
    X- X-Wings
    Y- Yul Brynner’s
    Z- Zombie Crunches

    Prior to this morning, YHCs belief was that none of the PAX would be close to completion of the alphabet. This assumption was incorrect as Goose, Pope, and Honeysuckle, were very close to completion with only the letter Z left to complete when “recover” was called. Also, there were many other of the group that were very close behind. This may be one that has a redo to see where progress is made.
    Great work by all this morning. The variation was enjoyed and the milage still abundant. Always great to continue to push ourselves with this crew.
    Announcements and the inVESTment was passed from Honeysuckle to Goose
    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Free Solo 2: Struggler’s Run – from America’s Best

    YHC pulled up at least 7 or 8 minutes early to find overly-zealous Enron and Paradox at the Stage, arriving early to gossip. The rest of the PAX poured in, slowly, gradually, like some sort of sweet viscous substance…

    Warmarama – typical SSH, toy soldiers, windmills, arm circles, then a curve ball… butt-kicks straight into high knees? For some men, the muscle memory kicked in, and the knees went up before the brains even knew what was happening. Overall, there seemed to be a very mixed reaction to this, and YHC was afraid for a moment there may be a Q coup.

    Pre-thang:
    Last time YHC put on a “Free Solo” beatdown, we had extra time and went into an OT “make it stop” name that tune-athon. Due to this, and with RCR coming up, YHC decided to start this one with a run.
    Indian Run while the Wu-Thang plunked out music of mostly bands with misleading names. The goal is to guess how many band members are in said band. The difference between your guess and the actual is the number of exercises we do at each stop.
    Popeye impressed, calling out Arcade Fire immediately, and them even more impressively, MJ knew (or guessed?) that there were 5 members. No extra work!
    The Thompson Twins were next, and of course the trick was that there are 3 members, but we only had to do one merkin, as Wet Tap was called upon and (understandably) guessed 2.
    Next we nurred, as a hint, hoping someone could guess “Feels like we Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala. The guess was 4, but there is only one member in this “band.” We did 3 BBS.
    The next was my favorite, and it was even better because we had already done BBS and merkins, so the next had to be burpees. Nobody knew the Polyphonic Spree song (also titled “Hold Me Now”) so our buy in was 5 burpees.
    Pope was called upon to be the scapegoat (by the way, the person who was randomly chosen to guess each time was the person who happened to stop closest to the streetlight).
    Pope guessed 5 (I think, or 8), but there are 27 members of this ridiculous band, so either way it was Samsonite. So we did a lot of burpees.
    Goose nailed Bungle in the Jungle by Jethro Tull, and someone (Enron) knew there were 4 members. No extra work. Honeysuckle called Superman by Five for Fighting, but Dox thought there were most likely 5 members of this one-man band.

    Back at the start for the Real Thang: FREE SOLO 2
    The Rules: A solo from a song is played while we all do some kind of work. The song is curated for a single individual in the attending PAX. 3 things with slightly different results occur:
    1. The person for whom the song was chosen IDs the song. Result= all PAX bear crawl 20 yards “free” of gear (coupon), then lunge walk back. Everyone takes “victory lap.”
    2. Some other dude identifies the song, freeing himself from the burden of the coupon. Everyone else block-bears up and lunge-walks with coupon back. Dude takes a victory lap while rest of PAX continues work.
    3. Nobody IDs the song everyone murder-bunnies up, and rifle carries back, then does “sprint of defeat” to flag and back

    As we began, Wet Tap busted out of the gates like a thing that busts out of gates busting out of a gate.
    He ID’d the first two songs without even knowing what was happening, stealing Dox’s and Pope’s songs as well as Pope’s thunder. And he took 2 victory laps in a row while we continued the work.
    Popeye’s musical chops impressed again, identifying his solo from “When Doves Cry.”
    YHC was downright giddy when he saw Goldilox pull in this morning… I’ve been waiting to play this smooth jazz sax solo from “Too Hot.” Nobody knew the song… I guess all these Millennials think “Kool and the Gang” is just something Samuel L. Jackson said. (And in case you missed it, “too hot” is something Goldilocks said).
    Enron ID’d “Money” but YHC suspects fowl play. No, not foul.
    “Honeybee” Tom Petty. Nobody knows that old fart, apparently.
    For the fledgling pilot, “Learning to Fly.” Again. Free Solo 1 brought us this song by old fart Tom Petty. This time, same title, different song, different band. Nobody knew it.
    Overall, I know, too much Pink Floyd.
    Evident next during what is arguably one of the best and most recognizable guitar solos ever. As we did thrusters, Goose prodded Wet Tap to ID “Comfortably Numb.”
    Tap’s response: “I’d rather just keep doing Thrusters.”
    (Time ran out before Dilly’s and MJ’s songs could be unveiled… to be concluded)

    COT: Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama,

    Animal was bestowed upon Picadilly.

    Honey-o-rama courtesy of The Beekeeper (aka Honeysuckle)

    Thanks for putting up with my nonsense once again, fellas.

    SYITG,
    AB

  • Free Solo 2: Struggler’s Run – from America’s Best

    YHC pulled up at least 7 or 8 minutes early to find overly-zealous Enron and Paradox at the Stage, arriving early to gossip. The rest of the PAX poured in, slowly, gradually, like some sort of sweet viscous substance…

    Warmarama – typical SSH, toy soldiers, windmills, arm circles, then a curve ball… butt-kicks straight into high knees? For some men, the muscle memory kicked in, and the knees went up before the brains even knew what was happening. Overall, there seemed to be a very mixed reaction to this, and YHC was afraid for a moment there may be a Q coup.

    Pre-thang:
    Last time YHC put on a “Free Solo” beatdown, we had extra time and went into an OT “make it stop” name that tune-athon. Due to this, and with RCR coming up, YHC decided to start this one with a run.
    Indian Run while the Wu-Thang plunked out music of mostly bands with misleading names. The goal is to guess how many band members are in said band. The difference between your guess and the actual is the number of exercises we do at each stop.
    Popeye impressed, calling out Arcade Fire immediately, and them even more impressively, MJ knew (or guessed?) that there were 5 members. No extra work!
    The Thompson Twins were next, and of course the trick was that there are 3 members, but we only had to do one merkin, as Wet Tap was called upon and (understandably) guessed 2.
    Next we nurred, as a hint, hoping someone could guess “Feels like we Only Go Backwards” by Tame Impala. The guess was 4, but there is only one member in this “band.” We did 3 BBS.
    The next was my favorite, and it was even better because we had already done BBS and merkins, so the next had to be burpees. Nobody knew the Polyphonic Spree song (also titled “Hold Me Now”) so our buy in was 5 burpees.
    Pope was called upon to be the scapegoat (by the way, the person who was randomly chosen to guess each time was the person who happened to stop closest to the streetlight).
    Pope guessed 5 (I think, or 8), but there are 27 members of this ridiculous band, so either way it was Samsonite. So we did a lot of burpees.
    Goose nailed Bungle in the Jungle by Jethro Tull, and someone (Enron) knew there were 4 members. No extra work. Honeysuckle called Superman by Five for Fighting, but Dox thought there were most likely 5 members of this one-man band.

    Back at the start for the Real Thang: FREE SOLO 2
    The Rules: A solo from a song is played while we all do some kind of work. The song is curated for a single individual in the attending PAX. 3 things with slightly different results occur:
    1. The person for whom the song was chosen IDs the song. Result= all PAX bear crawl 20 yards “free” of gear (coupon), then lunge walk back. Everyone takes “victory lap.”
    2. Some other dude identifies the song, freeing himself from the burden of the coupon. Everyone else block-bears up and lunge-walks with coupon back. Dude takes a victory lap while rest of PAX continues work.
    3. Nobody IDs the song everyone murder-bunnies up, and rifle carries back, then does “sprint of defeat” to flag and back

    As we began, Wet Tap busted out of the gates like a thing that busts out of gates busting out of a gate.
    He ID’d the first two songs without even knowing what was happening, stealing Dox’s and Pope’s songs as well as Pope’s thunder. And he took 2 victory laps in a row while we continued the work.
    Popeye’s musical chops impressed again, identifying his solo from “When Doves Cry.”
    YHC was downright giddy when he saw Goldilox pull in this morning… I’ve been waiting to play this smooth jazz sax solo from “Too Hot.” Nobody knew the song… I guess all these Millennials think “Kool and the Gang” is just something Samuel L. Jackson said. (And in case you missed it, “too hot” is something Goldilocks said).
    Enron ID’d “Money” but YHC suspects fowl play. No, not foul.
    “Honeybee” Tom Petty. Nobody knows that old fart, apparently.
    For the fledgling pilot, “Learning to Fly.” Again. Free Solo 1 brought us this song by old fart Tom Petty. This time, same title, different song, different band. Nobody knew it.
    Overall, I know, too much Pink Floyd.
    Evident next during what is arguably one of the best and most recognizable guitar solos ever. As we did thrusters, Goose prodded Wet Tap to ID “Comfortably Numb.”
    Tap’s response: “I’d rather just keep doing Thrusters.”
    (Time ran out before Dilly’s and MJ’s songs could be unveiled… to be concluded)

    COT: Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama,

    Animal was bestowed upon Picadilly.

    Honey-o-rama courtesy of The Beekeeper (aka Honeysuckle)

    Thanks for putting up with my nonsense once again, fellas.

    SYITG,
    AB

  • Not in This Life, Sucka! – from Yankee Joe

    “My brethren, consider it a cause of great joy whenever you endure various trials, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith will develop perseverance.4 And let perseverance complete its work so that you may become perfect and complete, and not be deficient in any respect.”

    James 1: 2-4
    ——————————–

    ‘Tis the season of resolutions. New year, new me. Keto diets and less sodas. Time to pass on the second helping of cake and put down the crack pipe.

    For men of faith, it is a season of renewed vigor in our relationship with God. It is a time for reflection, humility, and self denial. We are inclined to pause, take an account, and look up. Words like ‘trust’, ‘surrender’, and ‘vulnerability’ swirl around in our heads, desperately trying to make a connection with our hearts. It’s confusing, frustrating, infuriating, inspiring, exciting, terrifying…

    …at least that’s how YHC has been feeling. Perhaps an outlier, but doubtful.

    As such, heading into this Thursday’s Q at the Lion’s Den, YHC recalled an intriguing idea shared by Goose during the three-year F3 Thib manniversary. He shared that he prayed about his beatdown designs, letting the Lord lead…you know, about what might be best for a group of men… gathered in faith. Crazy, right?

    So, that’s what YHC did. What came was a glaring opportunity to share YHC’s struggles in his faith journey…something that required ‘trust’, ‘surrender’, and ‘vulnerability’. Interesting.

    ———————————

    The beatdown would consist of five rounds, taking the Pax through their own faith journey. The ultimate goal would be to sprint for10 minutes without a break at the end. However, before we could sprint, we needed to learn how to walk, jump, lunge, and crawl.

    As YHC neared completing the design, it was clear that there was a gap. Something was missing. After some more prayer, YHC realized that part of his struggle was…well…prayer.

    So, at the end of each round of the faith journey, YHC needed an exercise that would represent our struggle and growth in our prayer lives. But what? The Exicon offered nothing of substance. Maybe some ‘we’re not worthy’s’, but YHC didn’t want Goose to bring 20 coupons. Prayer pose in squat position? Nope, looked too much like a Buddha stance…like Paradox holding Al Gore.

    THEN, the answer was served up on a plate of spinach with a side of smirk and ‘be all you can be’ snark. Popeye quipped to Paradox that YHC’s Apolo Ohno form was unacceptable. Now, YHC is not an overly sensitive lad, but to publicly challenge another man’s form is a serious accusation and bears the burden of proof in a court of kangaroos.

    Yes, yes, ENRON. I hear you all the way in Mobile…the previous sentence may be the most hypocritical statement ever uttered in F3 Thibodaux. YHC has indeed been known to publicly challenge men about their form. But if it pleases this corrupt court, I offer the following evidence.

    Exhibit A: Montana’s AIR SQUATS (like standing geriatric monkey humpers)

    Exhibit B: Paradox’s MERKIN where his waist touches the ground with arms still fully extended (like ⅓ merkin, ⅓ pickle pounder, ⅓ cobra)

    Exhibit C: Enron’s JUMP ROPE (there is no description…it’s just uncanny)

    Exhibit D: Popeye’s BONNIE BLAIR’s (like a depressed MC Hammer shuffle after learning that Z Cavaricci’s went out of fashion)

    Exhibit E: Cardinal’s ARM CIRCLES just rotating at the elbow…no shoulders required

    Exhibit F: America’s Best’s THRUSTERS where the only thing he’s thrusting is Dave Matthews’ inexplicable existence into our ears. (It’s almost as bad as Dox’s entire catalog of music. Almost.)

    —————————————-

    Ok, so the Apolo Ohno. An Exicon favorite in tribute to the two-time Olympic gold medalist speed skater. YHC was mildly aware that he could put more effort into the exercise, perhaps getting lower to the ground, but it was more of a style choice. That said, after watching a few videos of Mr. Ohno’s form, closely studying the mechanics of his crossover cornering techniques, and asking around (for a friend, of course), the verdict was crystal clear.

    YHC’s form was off. I mean…WAY OFF. Like, Samsonite luggage way off. How did this happen? How did it come to this? Why didn’t anyone say anything before? Just like realizing for the first time that your endowment is only average size…at best, part of my world came tumbling down. A house of cards.

    Regardless, YHC now had his secondary theme to represent the morphing struggle of his prayer life.

    ———————————–
    How It Started

    As we moved through Warmarama, YHC included some Apolo Ohno’s as a teaser before the reveal. Here, it was immediately apparent that YHC’s form had NOT improved since watching the videos. I shushed Goose, pretending it was all part of the plan and we proceeded to the thang.

    The Thang

    For each round, the PAX would endure a stage of their faith journey interrupted by a different take on the Apolo Ohno. The versions were close, but a bit awkward…and though uncomfortable and hard, still somehow enriching.

    Round 1

    – Spider-Man crawl to cone
    – 25 That’s A No-hno – In honor of the No-No king, Nolan Ryan and a nod to landing seven uppercuts to Robin Ventura’s face: Apollo Ohno form on the side crossover, but mimicking the Nolan Ryan arm movements normally done in side plank.
    – Reverse Spider-Man back to start
    – Chilcutt Peter Parkers to wait for pax

    ————————————-

    So here we are. At this point, you have made a valiant effort. Excited to launch down a path of walking closer with God, you’ve managed to endure something rather difficult. Then it seems, you find yourself right back where you started.

    However, the question becomes, “Are you? Are you right back where you started?” For YHC, it often feels like running in circles or like taking two steps forward and 100 back. That said, regardless of where you are (physically, spiritually, psychologically), have you taken the time to reflect on where you’ve just been? Are you sure you haven’t grown? Learned? Armed with some shaky, hesitant confidence, you keep fighting the good fight. You might try to take on more though it may feel like sometimes your legs are being cut out from under you.

    Round 2

    – Boo boo bear crawl (three legged) with left leg up to cone
    – 25 Only Bo-noh’s – commemorating one of the greatest dual threats in history, Bo Jackson. Specifically, in memory of that time when he broke a bat over his head after striking out!
    Arms up on either side of head pulling down like breaking a bat over your head
    – Boo boo bear crawl with right leg back to start
    – Chilcutt Peter Parkers to wait for pax

    ————————————–

    Once again, you find yourself seemingly (and frustratingly) near where you started. You’ve suffered a bit more, limping along. This time, however, you are perhaps a bit more willing to pause and reflect. Maybe you acknowledge that you may not have to be in such a hurry. You’re starting to actually consider at a deeper level the concepts of ‘trust’, ‘surrender’, and ‘sacrifice’. The initial euphoria has started to ebb. You move forward, but with caution and A LOT more questions. As such, you take long, slow strides (with knees TOUCHING the ground, Popeye).

    Round 3

    – Flying nuns to cone
    – 25 Ronnie Oh Hell-nohs – In acknowledgement of Enron’s impeccable merkins form and impressive prowess…On either side of the crossover side step, drop down for a merkin (50 total merkins)
    – Reverse flying nun to start
    – Chilcutt Peter Parkers to wait for pax

    ——————————————–

    “And David danced before the Lord with all his might…” 2 Samuel 6:14

    At this point, you only thought your journey had been difficult. The last experience was a wake-up call: It can get a lot tougher. It nearly killed you.

    Except, it didn’t kill you. Actually, as you reflect (more naturally now), you realize that it wasn’t that bad. Not only did you persevere, you feel stronger. What’s more is that you realize you might have even liked the struggle. Not from a sense of misguided martyrdom, but rather from a place of genuine humility. Whoa. What am I going to do now? It’s a new kind of scary. Perhaps there is a sense of empowerment derived not from pride, but from freedom. Real freedom. If you’re like YHC, you’re skeptical, you fight the urge to give in. This ‘surrender’ is even more terrifying when you realize you might be capable of letting go. Regardless, you’re fired up, but you don’t know how to run. Not yet. So you leap.

    “…the baby leaped in her womb…” Luke 1: 41

    Round 4

    – Broad jumps to cone
    – 25 Yankee Jeaux-noh’s – Jump squat in between each ohno for a total of 25 jump squats.
    – Crab walk back to start
    – Chilcutt Peter Parkers to wait for pax

    —————————————-

    “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

    Romans 5: 3-5

    It is time to stand up. You are ready to run, while thanking God for the gift of wisdom to know when you should crawl. And the courage to do so. You may realize that these trials were and will always be part of the journey. Like Job, you might start to look at the setbacks as a Grace. For YHC, the distractions are not borne from difficulty, but rather because I put those things first. What if…just what if I were to give God the first fruits? Give Him all of it?

    You’re ready to run. You can stop whenever you feel like it. Whenever you feel like you have no more room to grow and that you’ve arrived at the pinnacle of your existence.

    You can stop.

    BUTTTT…you’re a man! You need metrics. You track outcomes. You crave structure. You compete to reach a destination. It might occur to you that there IS NO destination. There is no finish line. There is no rest. Well…we are promised that there is…

    …but not in this life, Sucka.

    Round 5

    – Sprint to embankment (approx. 60 yards) and crawl up hill
    – Let Your Yes Be Yes and Your No Be No-hno’s – 25 Apolo Ohno’s…real, authentic, perfectly formed Apolo Ohno’s
    – Sprint back to start
    – Repeato until time is called (approx. 10 minutes)

    ——————————————

    COT, ANIMAL went to MOM JEANS, and Honeysuckle prayed us out.

    Final Thought

    As I was demonstrating the broad jump squats in Round 4, I snarkily warned against incorrect form. I showed what poor form looked like. Then, I attempted to demonstrate the correct form. I then proceeded to FULLY bust my backside and landed flat on my six.

    Humility is a moving target. Once you think you got it, it’s gone.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux