The Wally Sprint is one of the most undervalued AOs in the region. YHC decided to step up and take the Q. The following was outlined, following the disclaimer:
1 mile warm up
Ladder work:
100 meter race pace
100 meter recovery
200 meter race pace
100 meter recovery
300 meter race pace
100 meter recovery
400 meter race pace
100 meter recovery
Down the ladder and back up until time runs out.
Welcome to our FNG – Welcome PVC!
COT
Good Stuff!
Our illustrious (or infamous?) site Q, Bolt, advised YHC that starting this week there is a new plan for The Uptowner. This new plan involved “Get Down, Get Up” and “Make Frac really happy!”. Yup, we all guessed it. Burpees. The BC Uptowner. Burpee C-Note. 100 Burpees need to get folded into the workout. So YHC thought and thought and thought. How could we possibly get 100 burpees in over 45 minutes? HOW?
PAX (some who knew of this new plan, and some that were blissfully ignorant – Pai Gow asking whether it was too late to go to The Goldmine) appeared in the gloom around Vagabond’s 14 foot flag. Welcome back Charmin – great to see you becoming a regular! Scantron shows up with The Wood. Seriously, this time. Not Hawgcycle’s “toothpick”. But a real log. 9 PAX heard the disclaimer (including post-hate Disclaimer, arriving “on-time, millenial style”, but NOT including the aforementioned Frac). And we were off.
Circle up for warmup. Some stretching. Welcome Mambi! 10 PAX.
SSH x42: 42nd day of 2022. On this Day – 42:1 longshot Buster Douglas KOs Mike Tyson in 1992.
Elbow Plank for 2 minutes, as PAX discuss whether Charmin (27 yo) or Disclaimer (30 yo) even know who “Mike Tyson” was (besides being a movie star). Bolt produces wildly funny and 100% inappropriate joke that will not be repeated here.
Thing 1: Lucky 7s. Alas, the morning temperature was 44 degrees. So the Lucky Bear outfit stayed home (only appears at 40 degrees and under), much to Hokie Pokey’s disappointment. But we’ll repeat the drill. 7 minutes of 7 burpees on the minute, complete the minute with an exercise that YHC calls out. The resting is at the end. Half-way through, Macgyver appears – 11 PAX! Last round includes 8 burpees, so we get an even 50. Halfway home.
Mosey to the gym. Mambi and Macgyver nominated to haul the log. Mambi unceremoniously throws it at YHC’s feet upon arrival. Grab some wall. Donkey Kicks and Shoulder Taps (with feet up on the wall). 3 rounds of 10 x 10 each. Shoulders are burning. Lets keep that going.
Mosey to the gym steps. YHC has called this “The Italians scaling the Alps”. Up the stairs, 5 merkins at the top, then job to the bottom and plank. How do we go up the stairs? Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Crawl Bear, Walk Crab. Then we gotta go down the Alps. So do the same, only in reverse order. YHC thanks Hawgcycle for the inspiration of doing something as dumb as Walk Crab up a hill. Other pax do not thank Hawg, but instead throw verbal insults at him.
Back to the Field. Repeat Lucky 7s to get the rest of the way to 100 burpees. Halfway through, Hawg decides to quit and head home. Sorry if this was too hard for you. The other 10 PAX slog through to the finish line.
28 J Los and 25 Penguins round out the day. Mosey back to the flag for our COT.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…for Fracsac apparently. The man who has a folder on his phone dedicated to the Freedom Hammer was crestfallen for a second year running. Bordering on tearful, Fracsac and his Southshore breathern had to witness a spritely Speedy Gonzales hoist the Freedom Hammer in triumph after the Northshore thumped the Southshore for the Crazy Ivan IV, 257 to 153. Precision results, thoroughly vetted and audited by the governing body, are as follows:
1. Speedy Gonzales 31:22 (6:30 average pace)-recruited years ago by Jose 10k
2. Amnesia 33:55
3. In Time 34:07
3. Cowbell 34:07
5. The Hammer 34:34
6. Saban 35:09
7. Kuch 35:37
8. Steve 36:45
9. TankedUp! 37:20
10. RevSox 37:36
11. Sogo 37:47
12. Hog’s Breath 40:25
13. Thumb War 41:30
14. Bongo (time between 41:30 and 42:43-you should have found me afterwards Bongo!)
15. Snooze 42:43
16. Pelican 42:44
17. Shooter 43:34
18. Flea 45:16
19. BBQ 46.35
20. Russo 46:55
21. Jose 10k 47:38
22. Pai Gow 49:55
23. Baywatch (it was raining hard, lots was happening, Hog’s Breath was talking to me…sorry Baywatch I didn’t get your time)
24. Belloq
25. JV (not that JV, the other one) 55:19
26. Kenner Brah
27. McGiver
And honorable mentions to PickAxe and Chainsaw, The Hammer’s 2.0s, who finished the first lap together in a blistering 13 minutes.
Thanks for coming out guys. You all get a trophy for participating in this unequivocally, completely stupid and utterly pointless annual competition. YHC was thoroughly impressed with the total disregard for your personal wellbeing and safety and looks forward to a repeat performance same time next year. Over and out.
The Wally Run began at 5:15 with Hawg, Two Yutes, and YHC. Two dummies and the Captain of Who Dat? Hot and Spicy (or something like that). The dummies and hog ran 1.25 miles by 5:30 when the remainder of the Pax arrived.
The rest of the Pax started the run at 5:30 with numbers leaning heavily in favor of the Dummy Runners. Good showing team. It’s the Wally, so everyone ran until 6:15 followed by the count-off, name-O-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
Some ran, some walked, it was the Wally Run. I have nothing else to add.
Warmup
Truth or Lie:
– confessor stands in middle and says truth or lie about himself
– others call out whether they believe or think it’s B.S….lie red light; truth white light
– pax who are correct 15 merkins
– pax who are wrong 5 rock burpees at tree line 20 yards away
– if everyone guesses confessor accurately then confessor gets 10 burpees (ie, hand Grenada)
btw- some pax believed I had 1 testicle (sheesh)
Then onward to Gazebo circle up and pick cards from dish round circle:
10 burpees, or…pick 1:
30 merkins
30 big bois sit-ups
10 burpees, or…pick1:
25 dips
20 box cutters (4 count)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 thrusters
30 curls
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 tricep extension
20 forward lunges (2is1)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 American hammers w/rock (R/L = 1)
25 overhead press
10 burpees, or…pick1:
30 step ups (4 count) w/rock
20 decline shoulder taps (2is1)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 V-ups
25 LBCs (4 count)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
8 rock burpees
30 rows
10 burpees, or…pick1:
15 reverse lunges (2is1) w/rock
bear crawl gazebo perimeter
10 burpees, or…pick1:
Sprint to gym and back
10 Bulgarian split squat (R/L)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 plank jacks (4 count)
30 squats w/rock
10 burpees, or…pick1:
15 imperial squat walkers (4 count)
20 side step squats w/rock (1is1)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
50 side straddle hops (OYO)
30 Bobby Hurley (OYO)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 kettle bell swings (1is1)
15 wife pleasers w/rock (4 count)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
20 Plank rock slide R/L (1is1)
15 London Bridge (4 count)
10 burpees, or…pick1:
Double time rifle carry rock around hill
20 flutter w/rock (4count)
COT
The secret 5:16am 10k added another member as Two Yutes joined Hawg and YHC for the whole 6.2. Mambo and Pai Gow ran the standard Wally starting at 5:30.
Q v Q. Reluctant Yankee proved just how reluctant he is by backing out (presumably out of fear, though the claim was an “illness” or “injury”). So who would step up to face the formidable champion, Judge Boudreaux T Hawg, III? Who dared to face the swift and sure hand of justice? When what to our wondering eyes should appear, but a raving lunatic in a Mini? Yes, Rudy-Clause emerged from the dense fog at the last minute carrying a bag of toys for all the PAX. And with that, let the games begin.
Warm Up: Don “Mambi” King kicked off with a welcome and a warmup. SSH, IW, some arm circles, and such. But he quickly handed control to the reigning Q champion to start the main event. But the good Judge was obviously cowering in fear of the imposing form of his opponent, and tapped out. So Rudy-Clause had the opening.
Thing 1: Naughty and Nice. 6 PAX were obviously naughty. Its clear that Triple Shift and his ilk are on track to have empty stockings this year. They were sent off to collect coupons. The Nice PAX (here’s looking at you, Hokie!) instead got to collect gifts from Santas bag. And what should they find? Bricks! Each Naughty PAX pair up with a Nice PAX. Naughty PAX: start thrusters. Nice PAX: how about some Floyd M’s with the bricks, then a 10 yard out-and-back bear crawl. Naughty PAX griping about the unfairness of it all. So swap with your partner. Time for one more round: Naughty start with Brick-pees, Nice get some Wonder Bras (push them bricks out, then push them up) with an out-and-back Crab Walk. Trade off again, but we ran out of time. Rudy-Clause suspects that the host was skewing time in favor of the reigning champ.
Thing 2: The Good Judge explains that the only way to shut Rudy up is to enforce a “Mouths Closed” rule. So all PAX start following the judge on a run. If you mouth off, you have to drop and start burpeeing. Surprisingly, Rudy and all the PAX kept quiet, though Bolt and Hokie decided to stop for burpees rather than continuing to run. Frac, however, kept running despite talking in the back of the line. PAX followed the Judge to U-Turn and pick up the missing PAX, stopping for some burpees too. Then continue on to the Mountain for some Obnoxious Exercises (emphasizing what the Judge claims is the “Obnoxious banter” of his foe). Rudy pointed out that some times, exercises just need a little clarification. And with that: Crawl-Bear up the mountain. Think that was obnoxious? How about Walk Crab up the mountain (Gabby calls it quits and just decides to walk). Oh, but the judge wasn’t done yet. He devised an insidious child’s play game – “Somersault Up the Mountain”. RevSox seemed very confused by this one, and just started rolling around in the grass after smacking straight out of his lane into another PAX. Oh, TIMES UP.
Thing 3: Rudy-Clause starts by observing the recent lessons of his beloved coach Kelly: what better way to care for the kids in ones care then by ABANDONING THEM IN THE HOUR OF NEED. The Santa Clause robes stripped bare, Rudy-Kelly stands before the PAX sporting his new LSU gear. Lets celebrate “Big Game Brian’s” history of success at ND with some over-and-back exercises with numbers called out from the BK era. 0 National Championships (stand there). 1 Freakish southern-faux accent (over and back). 3 losses in CFP (8 ct body builders). 5 losses to “power 5” teams (burpees). 8 losses to “academic peer” institutions (carolina wine mixers). 11 losses to Top 10 teams (BBSU). 21 vacated wins (SSH). Don King calls time before we get to cumulative 72 point losses in CFP. Mahatma greatly appreciated this new insight into his favorite coach!
Thing 4: Took a little while for this one to come together for the good Judge. Rudy speculated that this set probably looked better on paper than in practice. But lets give it a shot. 3 PAX on the ground holding bricks. A 4th PAX lay across them. Then the PAX try to “bench press”. Everyone got a turn laying, everyone got plenty of turns pressing. One more “Max Out” with 2 PAX together pressing one standing PAX. Most of the PAX got to bench press Fast Tax, who weighs 88 pounds. But when Rudy Clause went down for the count, the good Judge doled out the worst punishment – putting his own 211 pounds on the blocks. A valiant effort by Pai Gow and Rudy but they barely moved that massive load. And with that – time’s up.
The good Judge gave an impassioned closing argument, explaining just how much of a HIM his opponent was (many thanks!). Rudy Clause seemed surprised by the need to make a closing argument, and could only muster a “Merry Christmas – do you want presents or not?”
COT: 12 PAX count off. Plenty of confusion on just how to state name, F3 name and age. You’d think this group of veterans would know this by now. Plenty of intentions, including specifically Minute Rice – for strength through a health challenge, and for embarking on a new life with his bride.
Then the final tally was in – at first, it looked as if the Judge may have fooled enough jurors with his smoke screens of lies and fast talking. Would it be a hung jury? But no – in the end, the PAX voted for the restoration of Christmas this year and sent the Judge packing.
Come join the Q v Q next month (next year) to see if The Shrimp Man (King Kong) answers the bell!
Everyone is born once. Many have been born twice. A select few have been born thrice. Today YHC celebrates the 4th anniversary of my third birth.
On January 27, 1983 on a cold, wintry morning in Binghamton, NY, Shawn Willson was born to David and Becky Willson at Wilson General Hospital.
At some point in the late 80s, YHC has no clue to the precise date, he had his second and most important birth. YHC believed and trusted in Jesus to save him and give him His life. At that moment, YHC was born again through the power and saving work of Jesus to now live with eternal life.
On Veterans Day weekend in 2017, Hawgcycle and Channel Mullet heaped unending piles of guilt on YHC’s two scrawny shoulders and convinced YHC to join them for his first F3 workout. The following morning through sweat, tears, and much complaint, YHC was born a third time as Rev Sox. Hater of Red Sox and hater of step ups. The Pax celebrates that day, today.
Circle Up for the Warm Up
No mosey to the Rock Pile or some dark corner of Pontiff Park, the Pax starts this one hot with the warm-up right at the flag.
SSH – 20
Hillbillies (in honor of the hillbilly standing next to YHC who introduced him to this stupid group) – 20
Smurfjacks – 20
Low Slow Squat – 12
Bat wings (don’t put your arms down until we’re done) – 10 forward arm circles, 10 reverse, 10 seal claps, 10 overhead claps, 10 Moroccan night clubs
The Thang
Mosey to the first pavilion, it’s occupied, mosey to the second pavilion to commence the memory of YHC’s first F3 – this means step ups
Dips – 15
Right leg step ups – 15
Dips – 15
Left leg step ups – 15
Mosey to the bleachers
Tooth fairy
Seven merkins on the first bench of the bleachers, six on the second bench, and so on until you hit one at the top
Alternating step ups – 20
Mosey to the playground
Alternating step ups – 20
Mosey to the Rock Pile and Grab a Rock
In Cadence, 6 curls and 1 shoulder press, 5 curls and 1 shoulder press, 4 and 1, 3 and 1, 2 and 1, 1 and 1
Now with 6 shoulder press and 1 triceps extension
Now with 6 chest press and 1 big boy sit up
Now with 6 squats and 1 curl
Return your rock and Mosey to the football field. At this point, Mop began to trash talk that he was feeling perfect and maybe the Q needed to step things up and make it more difficult. That kid is such a punk. Who lets a 9-year-old come to F3 anyway?
Circle Up for Some Climate Change
In honor of COP26, F3 NOLA did our part this morning by hugging our imaginary trees and putting our faces in the grass in remorse over all the noxious gases that have been released into the atmosphere during F3 workouts. The Pax held Al Gore while the first Pax went down and did 6 merkins, the second began his after 3 were completed. Two rounds around the circle.
The Celebrating Fun
It’s not a Rev birthday without Ultimate Frisbee and some guys running around without a shirt on in the cold so Boo Boo and War Eagle can complain about it on end for the next couple of years.
The Pax split up in two teams – shirts and skins. The shirts won because they are a bunch of jerks who don’t let the Q win on his birthday celebration. Thankfully, since there were no Lakeview players present, cheating was at a minimum with everyone hitting the ground for their merkins after every turnover. Final score: shirts 5, skins 4.
The End
Short mosey back to the flag as the Pax counts off, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer. Thank you all from the depths of my heart for what you have each meant to me over the past 4 years. Your presence is everything. Working out alone is the worst. May F3 endure from now until the end of Christ’s rule on earth. I hope to do F3 into eternity.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
One of the main things I love about F3 is the brotherhood that gets forged when working out with another man. As you know, the immediate unknown of Covid-19 caused many to forego the gloom from a health perspective. Unfortunately, from my observation, many members have foregone the gloom from a habit perspective. Today, I wanted to incorporate a partner workout to bring back what I enjoyed the most about F3….shared suffering.
Warmup
Twelve other men joined me as we warmed up around the track doing butt kicks, high knees, side shuffles, and cariocas and then headed to the rock pile. We started with 31 SSH then 10 eight count squats, and 10 eight count merkins. After the warmup, I directed the PAX to get a heavy rock and head to the goal line on the football field.
The Thang
We partnered up for 25 Patty Cake Merkins, 25 BBSU, 10 Bulgarian Split Squats (Pax 1 is kneeling on the ground with one knee forward and one knee backward while Pax 2 props his back foot on Pax 1 front knee and performs the Split Squat), and finally the crowd pleaser of 10 Nordic Hamstring Curls.
After we finished up those exercises, we performed the ‘Tortoise and the Hare B.O.M.B.S.’ on the football field. Pax 1 carries the heavy rock down the field to the other goal line while Pax 2 does 5 Burpees. After Pax 2 completes his five burpees, he runs and tags Pax 1 (who now does 5 burpees) to take the heavy rock and continues walking until he gets to the end of the field and then turns around to walk back. After the 5 Burpees, the next exercise is 10 Outlaws (think O Mary), 15 Merkins, 20 BBSU, and then 25 Squats until everyone finishes.
Time is running short so we mosey back to the rock pile to circle up and perform 10 straight leg deadlifts (8 count). Head back to the starting point and finish up with 5 big boy sit ups then stand up without the use of your hands.
Countoff, Namerama, and COT
I thanked the PAX for allowing me to lead and I closed out with a prayer for God to provide healing and peace for all those struggling with disease and the difficult time we live in.
