Tag: Safety Valve

Following the PAXville beatdown this morning, Goose and Popeye were discussing mental toughness. That point where you are up against the wall, begging for the pain to end…for someone to save you. Popeye commented, “Well, it’s got to end at some point.” Through the endorphins kicking and my legs destroyed by humping monkeys, I was reminded of a similar sentiment.

In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven, a Navy Seal, delivered a commencement speech at The University of Texas. No doubt, many of you are familiar with it. Adm. McRaven shared 10 lessons he learned from BUDS training, considered the most grueling trials the military has to offer. He shared these as advice to help the young graduates “change the world.” If you haven’t watched it, you should. The link is below.

All of the lessons are relatable to civilian life, but it was #10 that most stood out to me. The lesson discussed a brass bell that hung in the center of the BUDS training facility, visible to all of the candidates.

McRaven said, “All you have to do to quit is ring the bell.

Ring the bell, and you no longer have to wake up at five o’clock.

Ring the bell and you no longer have to be in the freezing cold swims.

Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT, and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training.

All you have to do is ring the bell to get out.

If you want to change the world, DON’T EVER, EVER RING THE BELL.”

——————–

Without hesitation, each of you, the Men of F3 Thibodaux, personify this idea. And perhaps none more than our stalwart Goose. F3 has a term, “IM3,” which is a Man’s statement to the PAX that “I AM THIRD.” The idea of ‘living third’ means that as men, we deliberately place ourselves third behind God and our Community (including our families).

When I started F3, it was about ME. I needed to get in shape. I needed an outlet. I needed to fit into my pants. I needed to make friends…like real adult, male friends.

I needed…something.

I believe Goose’s vision of F3 teaches us that those needs, while they may be important, only matter when they are pursued by virtue of servant leadership. As men, there can be no greater call than to love God through serving our families and our community.

In this light, ‘never ringing the bell’ is not about working through our own pain, nor is it about serving our own needs. Rather, it is a decision to put our oxygen mask on first before assisting others.

Our strength comes not from ‘Man Makers’, Goblet Squats, or Thrusters (well maybe for Wet Tap). By ringing the bell, we would give up on far more than just ourselves. The stakes are too high. It’s an awesome and terrifying charge.

Of course, no man can do it alone, and that is where God and each of you come in. Every beatdown, every exercise, every rep, every prayer…I am surrounded by humble warriors who REFUSE to quit. Not for your own sakes, but for the call you CHOSE to answer.

Goose, you are the definition of a servant leader. It would be impossible to describe the impact you have had on so many of us (cardboard cutouts of your likeness not excluded). Besides…your humility wouldn’t tolerate the praise anyway.

Instead, I’ll just say, thank you. Thank you from all of us…for never, EVER ringing the bell.

——————–

Last Stanzas from Today’s Story:

“Maybe F3 doesn’t only come from beatdowns – or a backblast word.
Maybe F3, just perhaps – means humility, servant leadership, striving to live third!

And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
The side vents on Goose’s short shorts grew three sizes that day!

From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
Teaching men where they should stand, behind God and their family

Though – from the HEART of the BayoU, he soon will move on

In PAXville – the HEART of the Goose Q, we’ll still carry on.

Merry Christmas!

SYITG,

Yankee Jeaux

——————–

The Ridiculous Beatdown

Warmarama

SSHs
Abe Vigodas (slow windmills) – Prancer is a terrible movie, btw.
Arm circles
Squats
Imperial Squat Walkers
Self Love
Shark hops
Partners
Mosey to baseball field, bring coupons

——————–

Tribute to Anker (For Unto Us a Child Is Born – Handel)

“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

Burpees on: Son, Child, Wonderful, Counselor, God, Father, Prince of Peace (approx. 43 burpees)

Thang 1: Goose Training Camp

– Narration #1 (this was far toooo long)

Dora’s
– P1 runs
– P2 J’Lo’s, Plank Jacks, Mountain Climbers, chilcutt peter parkers
– Flapjack
– Four sets
Mosey to playground

Roof Crawling Practice
– P1 bear crawl to other side of hill; at bottom, 20 derkins; traverse the apparatus, go down the slide, mosey back to partner
– P2 does Genuflects
– Flapjack
Mosey to PAXville

——————–

Thang 2: The Looting of Paxville

– Narration #2

House 1 – “Smooth Like Honey(suckle)” Home of the Smoothie Sting
– AMRAP
– P1 Nur to cone, sprint back
– P2 monkey humpers
– MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

House 2 – “Dr. and Mr. Owens”
– AMRAP
– Man Makers
– MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

House 3 – “St. Cardinal Co-Cathedral and Coffee Co.”
– AMRAP
– T – BOMBs (start in crab position, legs out together, legs apart, legs out together, back to crab position
– MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

House 4 – “La Casa Drogas de Tana”
– AMRAP
– Pickleball volley
– 2 burpees on every dropped ball

House 5 – “EnRon We (Don’t) Trust”
– AMRAP
– Thrusters
– MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

House 6 – “Eye Candy Captains, LLC” Safety First, America’s Worst
– AMRAP
– The Jurp (by 10’s) – bet you can’t do more than three
– Speed squats, Merkins, Mtn Climbers, Jump squats, LBCs

——————–

Thang 3: Back to the Goose cave

– P2 rides P1, flapjack at halfway point
– Return to start, P2 rides P1 like a donkey, flapjack at halfway point
– Sprint to Goose cave (Peltch Treehouse)

——————–

Thang 4: Paxmas came anyway

– Narration #3
– Sprint back to PAXville and Goose returns PAX gifts

Goose returns presents to the Pax

– F3 Thib – 4th Wave (Class of 2023) – Black paint coupons
– F3 Thib – 3rd Wave – Black and Maroon coupons
– F3 Thib 2nd Wave – Black, Gold, and/or Maroon Coupons
OG’s – Black and White with Gold trim Coupons
Goose – White, Black and Gold Coupon

COT and Cardinal prayed us out

——————–

How The Goose Stole PAXmas

Narration #1 How the Goose Stole Paxmas!

Every Pax down in Paxville liked PAXmas a lot
But the Goose who lived just up the bayou, did not!

The Goose hated PAXmas! The whole PAXmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. Pope’s athletic prowess prolly the reason.

It could be because Goose hated the cold.
It could be because, like his truck, he was too old.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that his heart, like Dox’s Mudgear shorts, was three sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his arthritis ,
He stood there on PAXmas Eve ISI’ing just to spite us

He stared down from the Stage with an indignant, head tilting view
At the warm lighted windows along Lafourche Bayou

For he knew every Pax down in Paxville below
Was busy posting stupid GIF’s and jammin’ to Bieber’s Mistletoe.

He thought of Paradox and his wife who’s a doctor
Dox claims to be one too which shamefully mocks her.

He thought of the drugs Montana be slingin’
And he shuddered at the bad cadence that he always be bringin’

The Goose remembered the Goats and some random machine
That dude showed up for a month, never again to be seen

Then there was Cardinal, whoop sales-man of the cloth
But watch him fake burpees, his sins point to sloth
But he’s a priest with no equal, becoming a Bishop is next
But God help you, oh good Lawd help you if you send a green text.

Wet Tap jump squatting with coupons, that’s what real men did
He never got the memo – that Jurptober had ended.

He thought of Lil’ Cuz, bald head shiny like the sea
That neck like a tree trunk, like Treebeard with Gris Gris
A patriot among patriots, you’ll oft hear him decree
“This is ‘Merica, Jack…Yee Yee!”

He reflected on Superfun(d) and his posts that were laggin’
But Fun(d) redeemed himself fully, naming Jeaux’s Prius the Douche Wagon.

In a similar way, Fence Post showed up in stints,
But without any postin’, we’ll just call him ‘Fence’

He hated the youngsters who thought they were wicked SMAAHHT
But Shart-’eh got more than he bargained for…
that time he tried to FAAHHT

Goldilox with calves as big as your head
He’s a really nice guy — all the PAX said
But when the three bears tried to scare him out of the bed
Lox made a rug out of Papa Bear instead.

The Goose said good riddance to ‘Ol Paradiddle;
He’s a drummer, remember…F3 was fourth fiddle.
But woe to those who judge, you’ll make The Saturdiddle List
Beware three inch running shorts with a mustache emerging from the mist.

He tolerated Kilo and his twelve different ve-HICLES
He loathed Picadilly’s balls and Tana’s subsequent pickles
With falafels in the kitchen and the cross court dinkin’
Piccadilly’s doing Pickle Pounders for his bio on LinkedIn

Then there’s Safety Valve and Honeysuckle whose beatdowns we dread
They both claim to love you then play Christopher Cross instead.
With the nurring, burping, and merking, they leave us for dead
Imagine a Suckle – Valve twofer —
hey, that’s what she said.

But what about Smooth, always working the night shift
After pickle pounders with Kilmer, we thought he might drift
Instead he’s founding AO’s, he’s def here to stay
The tougher the challenge, the more you’ll hear….OhhhKAYYYY!

Goose considered Popeye, an OG of OG’s
Juicy like the chicken, played out like Drew Brees
Post hernia operation, F3’s ‘Welcome Back Cotter’
I’m sure whining about his scar, just like Harry Potter.

Enron, he mused, seemed to always face the worst
With his lack of rhythm and tendonitis that he constantly nursed
But those are just the reasons, second and first
For two SV500’s, he picked Pukee Jeaux –
he HAS to be cursed.
Speaking of Yankee Jeaux and his phonetics so fine,
Did you know LILLICK is actually pronounced LIL-ITCH
Then Ronnie – SCHREIT NEIN!

STOP—————————————————————————–

Narration #2 Before Lazy Dora in Paxville

“And they’re hanging their stockings,” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is PAXmas! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Goose fingers nervously drumming,
As he sat on the toilet nervously humming
Then he said, “I must find a way to keep PAXmas from coming!”

“For, tomorrow, I know that ALL the PAX men
Will wake bright and early and rush to the Den.”

“And then the GroupMe posts! Oh, the posts! posts! posts! posts!
There’s one thing I hate! It’s all the posts! But That I hate the most.”

It wasn’t just the abysmal GIF game that rankled his chest
But also the old fart snark from America’s Best.
This dude rolled up to a PAX of F3
WIth Dad jokes, an electric truck and, an alleged hurt knee
Then he said, “Wait, wait there’s more –
I LOVE an extraneous JurPEE.

Not to be outdone, the reigning king of the “No Show”
French Horn, apparently hornless, has no horn to blow.
True, his 80’s knowledge is well beyond measure
His ability to use ‘Bruhhhh’ in every sentence?
Well that’s the real treasure.

So the Goose sat there honking…

“And they’ll mumble! And mumble! And they’ll chatter! Chatter! Chatter!”

And the more the Goose thought of the Pax PAXmas Chatter,
The more the Goose thought,
“Is it me or am I getting fatter?”

“Why for forty-one years I’ve put up with it now!
I must stop PAXmas from coming! But how?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Goose got a wonderful, condescending, self righteous idea!

“I know just what to do!” The Goose laughed with a frown.
“I’ll destroy all their dreams with a TuesdayTuff beatdown.”

“I’ll steal F3 PAXmas, there’s no limit to how far I’ll stoop
I’ll even find a way to kill that stupid [bleep] Whoop.”

“What a great Goosey TRICK!” he mumbled with snarls
I’ll do a Bleep Test…you know, like a…DICK-ENS – comma – Charles!”

STOP ——————————————————–

Narration #3 Redemption Arc

It was quarter of dawn. And the Pax still a-slumber,
Hangovers en route from Enron and Wet Tap’s Jucifer tumbler.

He took their presents, their headbands, and even their rucksacks,
He scoffed at their cadence, lame excuses and fartsacks!

Ten thousand feet up – up the side of Mount Tana
He ran like an addict on AstraZeneca manna.

“Pooh-pooh to the Pax!” he was goosily humming.
“They’re finding out now that no PAXmas is coming!”

“They’re just waking up! I know just how it will go.
Shamefully hitting snooze one time, maybe mo’
And They’ll kick and they’ll yell from ceiling to the flo’
Then they’ll see there’s no PAXmas, not even an AO.”

“That’s a noise,” grinned the Goose, “that I simply must hear!”
He paused, and the Goose put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the swamp.
It started out slow, then it started to stomp.

But this sound was NOT, no it was not getting madder!
Why, this sound sounded joyful – it sounded like chatter!

What was this incredible sound, sounding deep from the gut,
Well Lil’ John asked Paradox the same question,
“Turn down for What?”

Every Pax down in Paxville, the tall and the small,
Was posting for a PAXmas beatdown – super tight shorts and all!

He hadn’t stopped PAXmas from coming! It came!
After having ten kids, it came just the same!

And the Goose, with his Goose feet paced to and fro,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

“It came without coupons! It came without rucksacks!
It came without backblasts, Kool Jobs, or pinched nutsacks!”

He honked and honked till his honker was sore.
Then the Goose thought of something he hadn’t before.

Maybe F3 doesn’t only come from beatdowns – or a backblast word.
Maybe F3, just perhaps – means humility, servant leadership, striving to live third!

And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
The side vents on Goose’s short shorts grew three sizes that day!

From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
Teaching men where they should stand, behind God and their family

Though – from the HEART of the BayoU, he – soon – will – move – on

In PAXville – the HEART of the Goose Q, we’ll – still – carry – on.

A Very Merry Christmas to Everyone!