F3 New Orleans

Tag: Safety Valve

  • The Jurpee: Live and Deconstructed – from Yankee Joe

    Quick Note:

    Gentlemen, this beatdown was just hard. I appreciate and admire how each of you simply took care of business. Though Q-drenaline is real, I can say that when my tank is empty and my brain is lying to me, all I need to do is look around at the PAX to regain momentum. In my experience, there’s no amount of self discipline or mental toughness that can manufacture that last mile push. This is why the gym membership, by itself, will eventually fail.

    If you have not Q’d a beatdown yet, get on the books. I promise you are READY.

    The Blast
    —————————————–

    Wednesday Night – 6:45 pm

    YHC: “Hey Babe…can you come look at this beatdown design real quick?”

    M: “Sure, I can’t think of anything else that would be a better use of our time while trying to get kids ready for bed.”

    YHC: “I totally agree! Ok…do you think 200 burpees is too much?”

    M: “Honey, we talked about this. You don’t make friends by trying to hurt them.”

    YHC: “C’mon…it’s not like that…the guys will love this stuff.”

    M: “Really? Doesn’t half of F3 Thiboduax go to the same chiropractor?”

    YHC: “Umm. Actually, now that you mention it, yes…yes they do. Hey…do me a favor and don’t mention the Chiropractor thing to Paradox. He gets real sensitive about it.”

    ——————————————-

    Thursday Morning – 6:45 am

    2.0: “Daddy, are you in here? I heard noises like a dinosaur. Why are you on the floor next to the potty”

    YHC: “Hey, sweetheart. Yes, I’m fine. Daddy’s tummy is a little upset.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “Daddy did a really hard workout this morning with lots of those burpee things I showed you.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “I thought it would be fun.”

    2.0: “It’s not fun to hurt your friends. Did you throw up on Mr. Enron again?”

    YHC: “I did NOT throw up on Mr. Enron. How many times do I have to tell you?”

    —————————————–
    The Inspiration

    We are just mere days away from the best time of the year – The Iron Pax Challenge. The F3 Thibodaux draft class of 2023, as mentioned in prior blasts, has reshaped the PAX into a collective of bad, bad men…or bawzzz as it were – Michelin, French Horn, Michelin, Honeysuckle, America’s Best, Bone Thug, Safety Valve, and Dumbledore. This group of monsters have not experienced IPC’s path-altering power. I’m not sure about Popeye and Paradiddle since they are part of the F3 Thibby OG. Yeah, you know me.

    IPC has a way of changing a man, breaking through and shattering the false ceilings of what he thinks he can or can’t do. Lil’ Cuz and Superfund as FNG’s, were (as Dox eloquently noted) “forged” in the IPC fires. Once a week in September, with pre-blast in hand, each man voluntarily embraces a level of such exertion that chatter simply vanishes and is replaced by venomous snark.

    For those less familiar, I offer the following snapshot from various IPC beatdowns last year.

    —————————————–
    After a few minutes, you’re already in pain. You start becoming confused. You can’t understand how any actual human can do this amount of man-makers (burpees with a coupon). You think back on the F3 Greenwood pre-blast video tutorials. Ben Gay, with a smug smirk, describes the week’s torture like it’s directions for making frozen pizza. He has a few jabronies jump into frame to demonstrate like THREE REPS of the various exercises. You hate their perfect Bonnie Blair form with their stupid pumping arms. You’re like, “C’mon… if I only had to do a few reps, I could bring my ass to the ground like a catcher on a coupon thruster too.” The hate starts to consume you.

    You try not to drop your coupon on Enron’s toes after he comments on your inability to tell time (You’ll get your vengeance during the Skinny Runner IPC, watching him desperately try to use a jump rope). You see Montana waving frantically at the “we’re not worthy” station. Your legs are wet noodles, and you stumble across the field to change the song as BAPS very loudly blares that particularly offensive (and REPEATING) lyric in Rage’s “Killing in the Name.” Why? Because there’s a Family Fun Run at the Peltch. Moms are blushing. Kids are crying. Dads are moshing.

    You’re out of breath…there is no side conversation. You see Cardinal toss his coupon 10 yards after each set, disgusted by the very nature of the beatdown design. You think to yourself that there hasn’t been something this awful since the casting tragedy for High King Peter in the Narnia movies. They might as well have cast Jar Jar. At least Jar Jar had a story arc of growth and purpose. King Peter enters the plot as a douche wagon…and well, upgrades to a minivan.

    You look over, marveling at how Goose and Wet Tap can be so far ahead of everyone else…hoping deep down that you’ll catch them executing poor form. You hear ‘Lil Cuz lament that he should have taken the glove recommendation seriously, and yet he’s still plowing through with bloody, blistery hands. You know that Paradox typically takes off his shirt when a beatdown starts getting serious…about half way through. This day, you’re horrified to see him lose the shirt, and we’re only five minutes in. Instead of running between exercises, you’re shuffling like a prisoner with ankle cuffs on. It’s like the opening scene in “Saving Private Ryan.” Everything sounds warped like you’re underwater. You think, “ I can’t keep going…not even one more rep. Not one more step.”

    But you’re wrong. You CAN do more reps. And you do them. Then time is called and it’s over. Suddenly, you love everything and everyone. You praise F3 Greenwood for their misunderstood creativity. You spit out endorphin laced Dad jokes and everyone laughs. It’s an emotional and physical rollercoaster. IPC is where YHC turned the corner in F3. I’ve been waiting so patiently. It really is the best time of the year.
    ————————————-

    So….

    The On Ramp

    14 PAX showed up to the Den on a Thursday morning. Today was forecast to set heat index records. By 5:15 am, the heat index was already 90 degrees. The humidity was hovering around 70%. As French Horn would say, “Bruhhhh…it was nastayyy.” Before getting out of the douche wagon, America’s Best presented YHC with his ‘hot off the press’ prescription glasses. This exceptional customer service wouldn’t save him from the morning’s misery, but I did feel a little guilty if that counts for anything. The only other medical professional I’ve known that offers such unparalleled customer satisfaction is a Chiropractor in Raceland. (That noise you’re hearing? Bad words being yelled in Homerican…)

    The PAX seemed oddly quiet. Was it because YHC’s subtle pre-hype about burpees wasn’t so subtle? Was it because they heard YHC talking to Goose about doing Goosey’s (bonnie blair with squat jump) as a MODIFICATION? Perhaps it was because the SV500 tank top club is super elitist and the rest of us felt left out. Who’s to say? With French Horn posting two days in a row, however, James Hetfield would insist nothing else matters.

    Usual warmarama with some extra arm and hamstring stretches, then off to the lighted tennis/pickleball courts where BAPS awaited us with superior sound quality and epic beats.

    Our rev up song was “Call On Me” by Eric Prydz. The PAX would do Burpees on “Call On Me,” recover in between. There were 51 burpee opportunities. At this point, there was still minimal chatter. The pace was fast between burpee triggers. In fact, “Call On Me” are the only words in the song. The men were beasts. YHC was not.

    ————————————-
    The Thang

    For the main event, we put together a deconstructed burpee with some core. The objective was to mimic the AMRAP nature of many IPC beatdowns. YHC would set the clock for 20 minutes and the PAX would complete as many rounds as possible in that time. Following the lead of Ben Gay, YHC demonstrated the various exercises in three-rep increments. The PAX was not pleased to learn that the actual rep count was 20 for each exercise. YHC did his best to soften the misery with a carefully curated EDM playlist.

    The Deconstructed Jurpee – AMRAP rounds for 20 min. (goal of 5 rounds)

    20 medium slow and low squats
    20 groiners
    20 merkins
    20 groiners
    20 jump squats with arms raised
    20 LBC’s
    20 leg raises

    Per usual, I looked across the circle to see Goose, Wet Tap, and Pope breezing through the rounds. Honeysuckle looked almost bored, but sweating profusely, nonetheless. Smooth was grinding as always, shirt off, and knocking out merkins like it was nothin’. Safety Valve continues to impress and looks similar to Paradiddle with his methodical (and dare I say, perfect) form. Cardinal was straight up working! With a focused, stoic expression, he was not shying away from one of the things he hates most in life…the burpee (a close second to misguided telecommunications consumer choices).

    Heck, even Montana’s form wasn’t criminal. All the more impressive considering that a burpee is not really conducive to being 6’ 7.” Every time YHC looked over at Paradox, he just “happened” to be doing leg raises, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. However, he was the biggest cheerleader of the playlist, which I genuinely appreciate considering I spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect EDM cover of “Wellerman.”

    ————————————–
    YHC called time and with six minutes left in the beatdown, two options were planned…Mary or another longish song with burpee triggers. It was safe to say that the AMRAP deconstructed burpee had served its purpose. Except for Pope, the rest of us were wet toast. I offered ONLY the latter option to the PAX. I have no doubt that internally, each of us thought it was as dumb an idea as remaking Willow. Lucasfilm, that’s enough. Haven’t you hurt society enough? Audibly though, to a man, all chose death over cake.

    So, burpees for every male chorus response. 53 triggers to be exact. With the Pet Shop Boys reinvigorating our souls, the PAX did four minutes of “Go West” before time was called and we moseyed back to a sullen Aslan. No doubt lamenting his choice of High King.

    COT, the ANIMAL and GiGi tanks were nowhere to be seen, and Goose prayed us out.

    ———————————-

    Have a Cup of Jeaux

    I’m going to leave this here…

    Episodes 1 – 3 should be stricken from the record. Completely. Never happened. Do it again. George Lucas can hang out on set, but he gets zero input on the writing.

    If you don’t know what Episodes 1 – 3 refers to, ignorance is literally bliss. If you liked Episodes 1 – 3, you’re probably High King Peter.

    SYITG,

    Jeaux

  • Run Lift Shoot Beatdown – from Smooth Operator

    Attendance
    Goose
    POPE
    Tana
    Safety Valve
    Wet Tap

    YHC pulled up at the stage around 5 o’clock followed closely by Tana and Wet Tap whom looked on with curiosity as I set up and tested the final Thang of the morning. After this Goose and a sore Pope pulled up ready to get another week started. Right before we started stretching Safety valve came rolling up which means St. John’s Place had a strong showing as usual. I guess the Rienzi (30A) clan needed their beauty sleep.

    Warm ups
    SSH 27 count
    Windmills
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mosey to the coupon corral for some goodies

    YHC decided to continue on with Paradox’s Memorable Men Mondays with a different type of high character man. YHC’s addition to triple M is an ultra marathon running, weight lifting, bow hunter whom’s goal is to be the unobtainable Ultimate Predator. I first heard of this fella while listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast, he has been on the podcast a number of times. Recently YHC started reading his book titled Endure which is an autobiography that shows this dude was a normal guy before he picked up bow hunting then he started training to become the best bow hunter he could be all while having a family, and working a 9 to 5 job. Today he is probably one of the biggest names in bow hunting. His name is Cam Hanes.

    Cam Hanes started his own YouTube channel and one of his programs is titled Run Lift Shoot. He takes different types of people and brings them run a trail up a mountain, brings them back to the gym and to move some weight, and finally brings them to get fitted for a bow and teaches them how to launch arrows at targets. YHC decided we would be doing a F3 version of Run Lift Shoot.

    Thang 1
    Run Indian
    YHC decided we would be doing a Run Indian for the running portion. which was introduced to me by Wet Tap. Basically the lead man calls out an exercise and will complete 10 reps of it. The rest of the pax will complete 5 and will run the rich man loop trail we normally run. The lead man will sprint to catch up and once he gets to the Pax the next lead man will call out an exercise and the process starts over again. This seemed like a good idea until YHC realized that we were moving at Gazelle speed instead of Clydesdales speed. We finished the exercise out with a 150 yard all out sprint to the flag.

    Thang 2
    Coupon Circuit
    After a couple of 10 counts YHC could formulate a sentence again. We would be doing 59 man makers, 59 goblet squats, 59 thrusters, and 60 overhead presses on our lifting portion of the workout. The reasoning behind this was solid, Cam Hanes broke a world record by hitting a ballon with an arrow at 237 yards (59×3)+60=237. I had good intentions but due to time constraints we needed to cut this down. We ended up going with 27 reps which was the number of miles Cam Hanes runs in a day. Even then YHC still had to pull up short on the over head presses to get to our shooting portion of the morning. The entire PAX could have earned the animal shirt with the effort they put forward.

    Thang 3
    Tire toss

    YHC thought about bring a bow and target to do a little shooting this morning but I decided we didn’t need law enforcement called on us this morning. Instead I decided to do an old fashion tire toss. First things first an exercise would be called out and the entire PAX would do 10 reps of the exercise.
    After this the tire tosser would turn around and throw the tire over their head toward a 8 lb maul which acted as our target. The next man up would then lunge walk the distance between target and the tire. We would then complete the buy in exercise as per the amount of lunges completed between maul and tire with some help from YHC. Listed below are the buy in exercises.

    C = coupon swings
    A =American hammers
    M= merkins

    H = hammer curls
    A = Australia sweat Angels
    N = Apollo unos
    E = goosees
    S = scissor kicks

    We completed the buy in for scissor kicks and Pope got to toss his second tire as the clock hit 6 o’clock.

    We hustled back to the flag and had COT and Safety Valve prayed us out. Thanks guy for sticking with me on this one. Y’all made this one fun.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • You Got Goose-Diddled! – from Goose

    The GroupMe was eerily silent last night/this morning for two reasons:

    1. French Horn had laid down a stronger than usual commitment post, and though many doubted, and many wrote and then deleted hilarious comments stating such thoughts, nobody wanted to discourage what looked to be an actually possible showing by the long-absent, greatly missed, mop-topped, boat-conceived youngster. Couldn’t risk that.

    2. Paradiddle was on the list to Q, but no hype had been posted by the ‘stached bandit nor any comment acknowledging the inevitable. Many wrote and then deleted requests for hype or temperature checks due to the fear that has now been associated with tank-tops, mouth-brows, and a white-capped abundance of hair.

    YHC thought there might be a small chance that Diddle had forgotten amidst his wild schedule, but wasn’t necessarily prepped with a back-pocket Q. Thoughts between waking and arriving had fluttered around Dilly’s spoken desire to complete grades 7-10 (left incomplete during his back to school Billy Madison Q) and memories from last year’s IPC, specifically the “Death by Skinny Runner” beatdown. So, when 5:15 arrived, and there was no Diddle, the site-Q (YHC) got excited at the opportunity to channel the inner Diddle and combine it with a little Goose-flavor and some IPC prep.

    A long warmup was needed after Smooth’s monster coupon routine yesterday, and this gave YHC some time to put the pieces together. Enron suggested the Deck o’ Death, which put the finishing touch on it, especially since YHC had also just attained some workout dice that were itching for some concrete.

    Warmups: the usual suspects plus Willy Maes Hayes and Toe Touches (bend down, touch toes, then come up and touch waist, then up straight onto toes with hands in the air = 1). Every vehicle that pulled into the neighborhood was taken to be Diddle coming in hot, but the hopes (or fears) never materialized. YHC then led a bumper to Stop sign to flag mosey to get the PAX familiar with the distance, cuz…

    Thang:
    One (or two) exercises followed by a quarter mile run, which happens to be the exact distance of the bumper to stop sign to flag loop. But, this would be a race, and the winner got to pick the next break…er, exercise. The winner could pick an exercise of their choosing or elect to roll the dice (three dice–one with reps/time and two with exercises) or pick two cards.

    Pope won the first one (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and chose low-slow squats to give the PAX a breather. Smooth made it known that now that he was comfortable with the route, he’d be smoking us all, and though he started strong with a powerful sprint on the next lap (and every one after that), long distances remain his kryptonite.

    YHC won the next, (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and we rolled the dice landing on 90 seconds of squats and penguins. The three minutes were greatly appreciated, but at this point, it had become clear that any hope of real recovery between laps was unrealistic.

    The next one was won by Honeysuckle (with Pope right behind him) who seemed to be set up to Q the rest of the beatdown, and he chose Freddy’s, which went way too fast.

    Next lap was Pope again (though Honeysuckle was right behind him) and he went with a couple of cards: 16 Bonnies (1:1) and a Joker, which he turned into a 60 second Mission Impossible plank (still better than running).

    Honeysuckle took the next (surprise, surprise) and went for a dice roll in hopes that two exercises would take longer than one (and that burpees wouldn’t come up) and the risk paid off. 30 reps of leg raises and wife pleasers.

    The last lap took off at 5:57, and many of the men must have seen the time, because the performances were impressive. YHC finished first, but Yankee Joe had joined Honeysuckle and Pope right behind him, again revealing that he’s got more gas in the tank than he lets on. PAX planked until the 6 arrived, and it was 6:00.

    All in all, YHC was extremely impressed by this crew’s resilience as they pushed hard each lap. Seriously, though Pope and Honeysuckle put the bar nice and high, the rest of the bunch weren’t too far behind–every time. T-claps to Enron, YJ, and Paradox, for some noticeable pushes, and Smooth for being first off the line every time.

    More T-claps to the impressive level of mumblechatter this morning despite the lung-busting, leg-deadening work. Unfortunately, YHC’s memory has been affected by the post-beatdown brain fog, so the only one that comes to mind was Enron’s comment as we were lining up for lap 4 or 5. YHC’s hand had substantially brushed a particularly sensitive area as we crowded to be first in line, and he immediately came out with, “Man, I goosed AND diddled in one beatdown!” YHC couldn’t breathe, and it almost sabotaged the lap.
    If you remember more gems, please post them in the GroupMe to make up for YHC’s inability to immortalize them here.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The 2nd Annual St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    THE FELLOWSHIP THANG

    Often times during large events there are pivotal moments that go unnoticed. One minuscule decision where success or failure hinges upon a singular action. Sometimes these remain in the dark. An unsung hero never revealed. Silently knowing the weight of their contribution. But during the 2nd annual St Vincent 500 this very thing occurred and today we shall shed the light.

    Ya see, It was early during the St. Vincent 500 cookout on Friday evening, the music was fine (shoutout Caniacs) and the delicious jambalaya was flowing, courtesy of Headcheese and the Bourgeois Meat Market. Just one small problem,…We …well folks we had a trash issue. In haste YHC had mistakenly grabbed bathroom trash bags to put into 32-gallon trash cans. Ya hate to see it.
    The jambalaya plates were stacking up. The bags stretched thin. Lil Cuz disgusted he could not throw away his plate and immediately eat another and you know how he gets when he’s hungry for JUMBOlaya!
    All seemed lost.

    With the event Teetering on the brink of mass hysteria I heard a low confident voice at my shoulder. A voice molded by years of unheard lectures, it was calm and consoling.
    “Dox, take deep a deep breath, I can fix this”
    I turned and saw it in his eyes, this man was all in.

    “Fly! Fly like the wind Jeaux! You are our only hope!” I yelled as the tires of the douche wagon squealed silently and our knight in the blue Prius faded away on eastbound 308.
    We held our breath ..…

    If you are still with me (and it’s an excused absence if not)
    You may now be asking yourself “What does an eco-friendly sedan and a garbage mishap have to do with the greatest beatdown fundraiser west Lafourche has ever seen?”

    Well…everything

    Duke! Roll that footage it’s time to go racing, and we have a pharmacy in need !!

    26 High impact men assembled at the Stage for the 2nd annual St Vincent 500.
    Our local crew showed up in force early to set the course. Pretty sure Smooth camped out like Woodstock, living on Bourgeois Jambalaya and dat Dawg was STILL hungry for coupon OHPs. Many hands made light work as we counted our pennies and made notes to all our 2.0 investors that their tuppens would be well borrowed. Our brothers from the north and south shores soon arrived. Some early chatter that the noted absences from NOLA were due to late night promo code camp outs for the T-Swift tour. YHC will expect courtesy tickets for …”a friend”

    The Northshore gang rolled in just in time. The legend of Tanked Up had been propelled all year after his awe inspiring performance at the 22 SV. He strolled in trophy in hand with Grundy at his side using the Theragun with precision intimidation to all our pax. Reluctant Yankee and Sandbar came in strong followed by Zoolander with Blue steel good looks even at 6:30a. Just like that it was go time!

    THE FITNESS THANG

    The Stage was set, and Goose was elected as Q for his exemplary public speaking and dashing short shorts. He led us in a thorough race explanation and warmup with side glances at Yankee about to establish a no tolerance policy for shakira shimmy Bonnie Blair’s.

    The race is a 2 man event covering 1 mile with 20 exercise stations interspersed on the course around Richman’s loop. Just a simple fun run ya know.
    You have 1 hour to traverse the course and at each station picking up points as you go.
    There are three levels at each station : gold(25) silver (15) bronze (10) with 500 points available if your dare.

    The stations set by Goose this year and he was in the zoneeee:

    Thrusters: 30, 60, 90
    · Hello Dollys: 50, 100, 150
    · Curls: 50, 150, 250
    · Burpees: 30, 50, 100
    · WWI situps: 40, 100, 150
    · Genuflections: 40, 60, 100
    · Tricep extensions: 50, 150, 250
    · Gas pumps: 40, 80, 120
    · Apolo Onos (2:1): 40, 60, 100
    · Moroccan Night Clubs (2:1): 100, 200, 300
    · Pickle Pounders: 40, 80, 120
    · Monkey humpers (calves to thighs): 40, 100, 200
    · Coupon OHP: 40, 80, 120
    · Leg Raises: 50, 100, 200
    · Bobby Hurleys: 40, 80, 120
    · Chill cut Peter Parkers (2:1): 30, 60, 100
    · Freddy Mercurys (2:1): 50, 150, 250
    · Bonnie Blairs (2:1): 40, 80, 120
    · Partner Dora (bumper)—Suicide, Mission Impossible plank: 2 rounds for each partner (4 rounds total), 4 rounds for each (8 total), 6 rounds for each (12 total); if need to rest on plank, have to tell running partner to pause
    · Partner Dora (grass)—Lunge Walk there, run back; SSH: 200, 300, 400

    We wrapped up the instructions and warmup and there were no more pleasantries to exchange. Time to go racing.
    The horn blew at 7:22a with most functional teams ready to go at their stations and 1-2 dysfunctional relationships lost at sea.

    Team points and observations below (to my best recollection of the points I jotted down and names, if this is incorrect please write your Representative)

    Dox/ Gecko 175
    We came, We saw…We got a lot of pennies.
    Got Gecko on my 1997 Creatine and peanut butter sandwich diet…early favorites for 2033.

    Dumbledore/GIJoe 180
    Classic pairing here of a rookie with untapped potential and the OG of Ogs, veteran GI Joe. Can we talk about Dumbledores first two posts: A Thursday paradiddle followed by the SV500 would make most veterans reconsider their C’s or HC’s but he silently showed up and put in some absolute work! Killer postfolio hes building.
    Also tons of local reports out of 12 Cedars that Joe has ditched the golf clubs and has been black ops prepping on the streets of Thibodaux. Don’t call it a comeback this man is a regular. #GIJOE4LYFE

    Wet Tap/Spec 200
    Unstoppable forces plowing through immovable objects. These men will humbly do goblet squats for weeks before realizing the rest of us were squatting air.
    Team “Don’t Weaken” lived up to the family creed. Great effort.

    Michelin/Percolator 205
    Team shake and bake coming in hot with Percs OG knowledge all the way from BR. Michelin transforming into a coupon OHP machine in front of our eyes. Ya love to see it. Great to catch up with ya Perc!

    Smooth/Suckle 295
    Officially dubbed Thunder and Lightning these men were a true combination of Rottweiler and Greyhound. HS gets to tell all his ultra friends he did a “1 mile fun run” and Smooth lifted a combined 18-wheeler worth of coupons. Well done.

    Safety Valve/ Cardinal 310
    In most prison movies theres a scene where a old inmate teaches a new guy the ropes. Cardinal fell right into his role here teaching valve the “proper” form on coupon avoidance techniques and how to ask extra questions to buy yourself a ten count. Valve continued to display his quiet strength and running prowess.

    Sandbar/Reluctant Yankee 325
    (*this was a ballpark # recorded post-race and if yall had different, chime in)

    Team Southshore, making it look easy! T-claps to you gents for making the drive, especially for RY for making the early haul after taking his 2.0 to college the night before. Southshore was well represented and we always enjoy the Yankee drop-ins during holidays.

    Cuz/Popeye 325
    Nice performance here from Team Yeet ‘Em and Street Em. Popeye already solidified as the comeback performance of the ’23 pax year and even further padding his stats while carrying Cuz. Don’t get me wrong Cuz was putting in the work, just seemed distracted asking YHC why we couldn’t add the Punisher symbol to the SV500 logo. #TundraTough…. It’s a lifestyle.

    Ronnie/YJ 355
    Many high level analyst saying YJ exercised the demons of 2022 with the tremendous ab and leg prep May – August and despite cranking tents and tables all day on Friday both these men laid down game day strains. Ronnie looking jacked Diesel in that tank sonnn.

    Goose/Zoolander 380
    YHC was setup behind the form as impeccable (as expected) but the push to get the next level (silver to gold) was inspiring. Just two great Pax leaders ripping burpees or was it a Calvin Klein commercial.

    Pope/Paradiddle- 425
    For real, For real! When YHC heard earlier in the week this team was pairing up I had them pegged as a dark horse pick. Pope has shown many traits of having dat dawggg this year and its been so awesome watching him grow and having him at weekday beatdowns.
    If you aren’t local and don’t know the maniac formerly known as Diddle let me read you his bio….

    Favorite song: Numb- Linkin Park
    Likes: Cardio
    Dislikes: Ppl who dislike Cardio
    Hometown: Zone 5 and He’s the Mayor

    These men represented the Thib pax to the last rep and YHC couldn’t be prouder. This will be a team to watch for years to come.

    THE CHAMPS….

    When the dust settled we had 3 teams that separated themselves from the pack. In a photo finish Tanked and Grundy retained the SV500 title narrowly escaping the youthful legs of Pope and Paradiddle. Leading the youth division (under 18) Redfish/Coyote with an impressive 500 points. The future is bright for these 2.0 studs.

    Tanked Up/ Grundy 435
    Incredibly impressive, especially with the tweaks Goose built this year. Station 19 and 20 Doras were both physically and psychologically punishing. Tclaps to the gentlemen for continuing to rep the Northshore. See you next year!!!

    After copious amounts of water/ Gatorade and shaking off heat stroke symptoms we wrapped up with COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    Coffeeteria with donuts provided by St. Vincent pharmacy staff and volunteers.
    I will pass along the gratitude from the entire St. Vincent pharmacy staff and board in thanking everyone involved in this event and fundraising endeavor. It’s been 2 years since we started discussing ways to help with the pharmacy after the devastation of Hurricane Ida and continued strain from the pandemic and I could have never imagined this level of support from F3 and the community. I’m proud to announce that with our contributions this year ($9517.50) we have raised over $20, 000 in the last 2 years for the pharmacy to continue to provide for people in need of life-saving medications. Looking forward to continuing to find ways to support this great organization.

    Epilogue

    THE FAITH THANG

    The heaping trash continued to tumble out of the micro trash bag and the tension was palpable. No one had seen this much garbage since the Naboo storyline in Episode 1 (RIP Jar Jar). Soon the sheer amount of plastic would overtake our oxygen supply. YHC was grasping at straws. We had to keep our composure. Cardinal was even running diversion tactics by introducing new schisms to the pax. “Hey you guys know how pirogue is pronounced??”
    And just when we had reached our darkest hour there came the return of the silent sedan over the hill like Gandalf into Helms deep. In place of a blazing white staff he proceeded to unveil the largest trash bag ever created on planet earth. We placed the entire events trash inside and it still looked empty. What and why this unit of plastic could be used for, other than oceans of trash, is beyond me. When Jeaux was pressed about it he only mumbled something about his affairs in international waters not being my business. He silently went on about his duty of peddling event t-shirts and correcting form. Not all heroes bring hefty’s.

    So here’s the very thing about the men of F3 Thibodaux. Ask them to grab a trash bag and they bring you TrashZilla Rex, the king of all trash. Need a JUMBolaya pot? Here’s one you can swim in! Need 1-2 ice chests? Ho Hum, here’s 5 Yetis all 30A approved. Ask them to do burpees, why not Kraken Burpees on emom timer. Ask them for stretching and you get a Diddle death march.

    And how about ask them to support a charity pharmacy in 115 heat indices with a back-to-back 2 day event?? One that has been there for so many in need for 2 decades and needed that same support. Well, you already know how that ends. The chips are low, a wolf at the door or a man alone in the darkness and these pax will stand up and serve those less fortunate. I could not be prouder to stand beside them.

    SYITG,

    Paradox

  • MAX mobility – from Paradox

    9 men wobbled in and huddled around the gloom early at the stage today. Just 48 hours since the bodily devastation of the SV500 we needed immediate distraction, and this was provided listening to the latest chapter in the Life and Times of Cardinal.

    “I woke up Sunday and it was the strangest thing, like my whole body wasn’t moving right and everything hurt. ” Cardinal explained while poking his muscles and testing these claims.

    YHC questioned further… “were you …umm…perhaps sore?”

    “Sore? Like a boil on my skin? ” He asked, still perplexed and searching the Cardinal lexicon for this foreign term.

    YHC sighed and got ready to break the news.

    “Well, you see after you turn 30 your body slowly tries to kill you each and every day especially if you exceed your limit of physical exertion. They call this state of being sore.

    Cardinal : ..

    YHC: ..

    Cardinal : well I guess I was sore , I’ll try my best to never feel that ever again.

    And just like that Mobility Monday was born…

    Duke! get the WD40 and K tape it’s time to fix some bo Bo’s
    and roll the footage.

    Warmups

    SSH

    Abe Vigodas

    IW extra slow

    Bat Wings:

    Leave them up gosh darn it !!

    AC , CP, Seal Jacks , OHClaps, seal jacks

    MC

    Mosey to bumper with some concerned side glances that we would unearth the newly minted coupon bunker.

    Not today men, let those Koopas cool down, they still hawt from Saturday.

    We continued our series with Volume 2 of Men of Courage Mondays as today is the feast day of St Max Kolbe. A Polish priest and Franciscan friar who among many other amazing works substituted his life for another man’s during imprisonment at Auschwitz.

    So Todays Acronym was MAX:

    First , the M…the Mobility Mile

    Mosey Richmans loop and we stomped out those spicy ant devils on the way as retribution for Popeyes riddled calves.

    We ran the mile and stopped for 4 mobility stations interspersed with audible groaning, creaking, pops, clicks, sharts, Hoosker dos, hoosker donts and even a few whistling kitty chasers. It was a deep burn and we all felt better for it:

    1. ) 1 minute
    Hold side plank

    Right arm up then through

    Left side

    Right hand on hand and pull through

    Left side

    2. )1 minute: Downward dog, alternate calf stretch and Cat/Cow ( 1 minute )

    3. ) 1 minute: Plank and hip stretch , outside, inside, inside outside

    4. 1 minute Side lunge stretch with sumo squat

    As a humorous interlude YHC shared the story of looking for a St Kolbe book in Barnes and Nobles only to have the clerk think that Kobe Bryant had been canonized.

    Not yet Kobe, not yet. (he had shaq and MJ only had Pippen so….)

    YHC introduced an F3 Thibodaux classic …Basketball Jones.

    We would alternate between all levels of a squat every time we heard the word Basketball.

    I’ll give the men at home a sample :

    “Yes i was a victim of basketball Jones

    In fact I was the baddest dribbler in the whole wide world

    I loved my basketball ball.

    That basketball was like a basketball to me…”

    It went on like that for 4 minutes and YHC pulled the plug early.

    Because sometimes you just have to set a pick when you on the give and go of life.

    Today we were all victims of the basketball Jones.

    On to the ABS (the A of mAx)

    St Max Feast day is Aug 14 (today) The day of his death 8-14-41 and canonized in 1982 so we clearly had to work the COREners and look for cobwebs.

    8 bbsu

    14 crunchy frogs

    41 Freddy Merk

    82 LBCs

    This was completed in 4 corners or “7s “ formatting. Dumbledore was feeling the crunchy frogs and Goose assured him he would gain abs of steel as he advanced in the F3 school of witchcraft and wizardry.

    To finish the MAX we needed an X

    X Wings Flora

    Partner up

    100 merkins , 20 each set while P2 x wings

    200 MC (40 each set while P2 X wings)

    Great push here to ramp up the cardio on the MCs. Paradiddle barely made it out of Zone 1 but his joints will thank me when he’s still mosh pitting at 65. The pax will rest easy tonight knowing that Cardinal discovered soreness and mobility training in the same calendar year!

    COT with special intentions for Bones recovery

    Dumbledore prayed us out.

    Always a great privilege to lead you men.

    “Let us remember that love lives through sacrifice and is nourished by giving…Without sacrifice there is no love.” – St. Maximillian Kolbe

    St Max Kolbe, Pray for us!

    SYITG

    Dox

  • There and Back Again, and Again, and Again – from Goose

    YHC was happy to pinch hit for Picadilly on this Tuesday Tuff morning–it would give us a chance to put (at least) one more hurtin’ on the legs and abs to steel them up for this weekend, AND YHC could work around the wounded wing without having to modify. The rest of the PAX was delighted, too…

    Ultimately totaling 8 after a couple of late ‘uns, the warmup consisted of much of the usual, but we added some shoulder rolls cuz YHC remembers how the neck felt after Tap’s 1 mile nur a few weeks ago and wanted to avoid that given the amount of nurring that was planned for today. We also focused a bit more on the ol’ hammies with some Tin Soldiers–they’ve been getting quite a beating the past few beatdowns, and this morning would be no exception.

    YHC was happy to introduce a few of the newer guys (who have been extremely impressive in their consistent posting) to some foundational routines today. The first was 11’s. We started on the edge of the pavement with 10 Big Boy Situps, ran to the opposite sidewalk, and completed 1 Goosie (newly minted this morning–it’s the Goose-modified burpee: Bonnie Blair plus a jump squat = 1). Then, Nur back for 9 big boys at the patio, then 2 Goosies, etc. with the number of BBSU decreasing by one and Goosies increasing by one until each had completed 1 BBSU and 10 Goosies.

    Honeysuckle showed his superhuman stamina on the Goosies, for sure, and the dude was just getting started. Everyone else’s legs were certified gelatin, but there was still 25 minutes of beatdown to go, so it was on to Thang 2, starting with a mosey to the beloved first street lamp on Rich Man’s Loop.

    (Seriously, running and stopping at that first street lamp for instructions (and pontification) is like arriving at the waiting room at the dentist–you’re not exactly sure what’s about to happen, but it’s guaranteed to be extremely uncomfortable.)

    Today, the lesson was in mental toughness and our ability to measure progress. We may be constantly working our tails off, but if we’re needing measurable progress through the ups and downs, the backs and forths to give us a reason to keep going, we’re gonna struggle. The truth is, the suffering IS the journey, especially when it’s shared with brothers, and interior progress is the only progress that really matters.

    So, the routine was titled “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back”–it consisted of running two light poles, then nurring one back; then running three light poles, then nurring two back, then running four, then nurring back three, all the way up to running 7 and nurring back six.

    Honeysuckle, Diddle, and Pope began to pull away relatively early, reveling in their running prowess, while the rest of us just tried not to let anyone down. Dox and Enron paired up, as did America’s Best and Safety Valve, leaving YHC to grind it out alone as the pit began to close around him somewhere between the 5th and 6th volley, the will to win having been sucked out in the later rounds of the 11’s. It’s funny, though, how any little hand-hold will do when you’re trying to survive, and YHC found some comfort in watching his shadow start to shrink as each light post approached from behind. Nurring is tough on the legs, but it’s also tough on the mind–you can’t really tell have far you have to go, and you can’t keep your eyes on the prize. All you can see is where you’ve been, the sweat stains and the pain you’ve just poured out. This was good training in mental toughness, and YHC was proud of this crew for stepping up and cranking it out.

    Once all but one team had finished, the run to pick up the six became a necessary Indian Run back to the flag due to time constraints and YHC’s desire to no longer suffer alone.

    Upon arrival, the count-off was complicated due to brain fog and tired math muscles, but all were accounted for and Gigi (the game ball in the absence of Animal) obviously went to Honeysuckle as he easily stayed out front for the entire nasty beatdown. Thanks for keeping the bar high, HS!

    Announcements: get signed up for the SV500 if you haven’t already, and get those jambalaya tickets sold! Incredible work, per usual, on all this Paradox! Let’s keep praying and be prepped to show up early and help make this a successful event.
    Prayer intentions for Smooth’s crew, Diddle’s crew, Cardinal’s transition, and Enron prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • It’s You Against You, So You Better Be First. – from Yankee Joe

    How It Started:

    Yesterday, YHC was talking with Paradox about life. As would be expected, the conversation shifted quickly to F3.

    We wondered at Popeye’s badassery and how he methodically works through a beatdown. You’ll hear part of that Army motto pouring out with his sweat, “I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade.” Chills!

    We lamented the torture that was SaturDiddle and that we actively seek out fartsacking excuses when Diddle’s name shows up on the Q list. Brutal!

    We marveled at Safety Valve’s unprecedented posting record right out of the FNG gates…6 for 6. Keep it up. Respect!

    We delighted in how Bone Thug swooped in one day and took his place at the table. We debated whether Bone Thug should be plural or singular. Dox writes it in plural. He’s wrong. Recognize!

    We discussed the wonder of Cardinal’s random F3 superpowers, including his Q evasion tactics for questionable excuses like needing to shepherd the people. Apostolic!

    We laughed and cried about how Pope is surpassing Goose, but acknowledged the King was far from dethroned. Quicksand!

    You can almost hear the exchange:

    – Pope ‘Shark’ Lavay: “Slow down, Dad. You’re going to have a stroke.”

    – Montezuma ‘Goose’ Monroe: “I don’t get strokes motha*@$#&. I give them.”

    ———————————
    Why It Started:

    You see, YHC is fully focused on the SV 500, and thus, beatdowns leading up to the event should be carefully designed. YHC told Paradox there would be no silly themes. Nope…no props or monologues this time. Paradox simply said (in his deep, serious Doctor voice when he doesn’t make eye contact), “Yeahhh. That sounds good.”

    Soooo, while driving home, suffocating under the crushing weight of Dox’s disappointment, it became clear what needed to be done. It was an obvious transition from…SV 500 to Indy 500 to Talladega Nights to wearing a Cal Naughton Jr. wig to adopting a Homeric accent. (Homerian? Homenetian? Homogenous?)

    Following the Warmarama, in the spirit of Ricky Bobby, and in honor of Paradox’s homeland, YHC gave a monologue (below) in his best Homer, LA speak. However, YHC’s High Country Homerian dialect was difficult for Paradox to follow. As the old adage goes, there’s San Pellegrino and there’s La Croix. Then there’s Schweppes Club Soda. Quaint!

    If you haven’t seen Talladega Nights, the following monologue will sound pretty stupid. If you have seen Talladega Nights, the following will still sound pretty stupid. Who cares?

    ——————————–
    The Monologue (read in your best Homerian accent):

    “As we are prepping for the 2nd inaugural SV 500, most of us are reconsidering how ready we are following Paradiddle’s ‘Back to School” beatdown.

    “That said, it’s in these dark moments where we find our special talents.

    “Sometimes you get a knock in the head, you get superpowers. It happens all the time. Read comic books, okay.

    “I know what each of you are thinking…you’re thinking, “I wanna go fast. I wanna go fast.”

    “But in the midst of our suffering, yer startin’ to doubt yerself and askin’. “Am I going fast?”

    “You look around to see how other PAX are doing, but mannn…you can’t “mumblechatter with your eyes, you chatter with your heart.”

    “And sometimes you don’t know “what to do with your chatter.

    “You find yerself flyin’ through the air, the Tom Cruise witchcraft ain’t working, the ninjas are tryna get you…and then shame of shames, you get thrown out of Applebee’s and you don’t know what to say.

    “But then you see Goose and realize that he’s just a big hairy American F3 machine. Heck, paradox’s shorts are so tight he could crack walnuts with his butt cheeks.

    “So, you dig deep. Maybe you picture Jesus in a tuxedo. You think perhaps, it’s time to shake and bake.

    “You’re all jacked up on Mountain Dew and Surge. ready to go at yerself like a spider monkey.

    “Because it’s okay…in the end, in F3, it’s just you against you. But also, if you ain’t first, yer last. So, if it’s between you and you, you better be faster than you so you don’t lose. Here’s your sign.

    “To help our lost cause, we got ourselves a cougar in the back seat…you know, metaforeigner speakin’. We got ourselves a little race. We got ourselves an F3 500.

    And I’ll tell you this right now, you know who loves racing? Our girl, Dora.

    —————————————–
    What Happened (please make it stop):

    9 PAX gathered at the Stage on a VERY muggy Monday morning. A few HC’s and a few pseudo commits. As alluded to, most of the PAX were nursing physical and emotional wounds from a torturous Saturdiddle. Mannn, we were ALL on the Diddle List. We’re prepping for the SV 500 and though we wouldn’t go full pads, YHC very generously offered a series of strength and conditioning opportunities. Playing off of the SV 500 theme, the PAX entered with respectable pole positions for an F3 500.

    In pairs, P1 would sprint around the AO track (approx. ⅛ mile) while P2 knocked out reps of a particular exercise. When P1 returned, flapjack, and P2 would sprint the track. The goal was to reach a rep count of 100 for each exercise. There were five scheduled exercises for a total of 500. Yeah, you get it. Cheers.

    There were three caviars…(Homerian for caveat). The PAX loved those. The groans sounded like a bunch of constipated walruses.

    1. The race was timed. All teams had 25 minutes to complete 500 reps.

    2. When a partner pitted (completed a lap), both partners had to perform 10 Bonnie Blairs before P1 could start the exercise or P2 left pit row.

    3. YHC could put up one caution flag, in which all PAX had to slowly mosey around the track until caution was lifted. This meant the partners completing reps had to stop and mosey along with the running PAX.

    The Exercises:

    – Overhead press with coupons (x 100)
    – Leg lifts with coupon (x 100)
    – Thrusters (x 100)
    – Coupon LBC’s (x 100)
    – Coupon curls (x 100)

    ————————————–
    To YHC’s surprise, several teams finished within the 25-minute window. YHC’s team finished only because Pope and Goose dragged him there. Thanks, fellas for carrying me. The PAX then moved onto the musical stylings of the Proclaimers.

    500 miles

    – Flutters, V-ups on “gonna”
    – LBC’s on refrain
    – Mosh jumps on bridge (na na na na) – after second verse
    – SSH for third verse with high knee sprints on last refrain

    Here, YHC remembered and genuinely understood a great line from Paradiddle’s last blast:

    “…a chance to catch your breath, swallow the puke, and try and salivate to keep from dry heaving (please tell me it wasn’t only me).”

    It wasn’t only you on Saturday and it definitely wasn’t only you this morning.

    We finished with Pot Luck Mary, but stopped just short of Paradox’s dolphin hops. You know dolphins shouldn’t swim in a shark tank.

    Gigi was bestowed on Paradiddle by Safety Valve. ANIMAL was presented to Popeye.

    Don’t forget to sign up for the SV 500.

    Prayers for Smooth and Paradiddle, the first day of school (teachers and students), and for Cardinal’s new and exciting journey as the Bishop’s Secretary.

    Popeye prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Jeaux

    Have A Cup of Jeaux:

    Let’s talk about the hard commit or HC? The H has always confused me…as if the word “commit” is a multi-leveled state of being. There is no qualifier for commitment. You can’t semi commit, kinda commit, soft commit…just like you can’t be just a little bit pregnant. You are either pregnant or you aren’t. You can’t kinda be dead. You either are or you aren’t. You can’t sorta be a jackass. You either are or you aren’t. In this particular case, I am. There is only “commit.” There is only C.

  • Chlorophyll? More Like Borophyll. – from Paradiddle

    Coming off of a week long hiatus, YHC was excited to be back for a beat down. Not knowing where to turn, but knowing that the SV 500 lay around the corner, YHC consulted with none other than Goose to try and collect some intel on the possible beatdown. YHC was determined to try to prepare the PAX for lay ahead. After turning to the exicon for some inspiration, none other than a childhood favorite of Billy Madison would be the source of inspiration for the punishment that lay ahead.

    YHC was coming in hot this morning from Houma, and he arrived with only a few minutes to spare. The PAX were already assembled upon his arrival. Mumble chatter was low, and as YHC approached, silence fell over the men. DJ DOX would be needed for his duties this morning. Yankee Joe was quick to offer BAPS as the source of sound, even though YHC offered Burrito Supreme who was nestled in the truck. Let a man do his thing. BAPS to the rescue, and rescue us he would. But wait…who is that?! Out of the gloom came G.I. Joe – a legend of sorts in these swamps.

    We began the warmup with the usual SSH, grass grabbers w a clap, windmills, circles, cherry pickers, high knees, and mountain climbers.

    The pax would then mosey with a coupon to the breezeway at E.D. White, where the thang would be explained.

    The Thang
    Taking the advice of Goose (one hour, no breaks), YHC explained the Billy Madison.

    We would work our way through each of the numbered school grades, only to then have to repeat them as Billy does (to prove to his dad he’s not a fool). Each grade would have 12 reps of one exercise, followed by a run to St. Joseph Elementary and back to the breezeway at ED White. Once back to the breezeway, you would repeat all the previous grades, making your way all the way to 12th grade. (1st grade, 1st + 2nd grade, 1st + 2nd + 3rd grade, 1st + 2nd + 3rd + 4th grade, etc.)

    So the grades would go:
    1st – Burpees
    2nd – Bonnie Blairs
    3rd – Declined Merkins
    4th – Grainers
    5th – Kettle bell swings
    6th – Thrusters (do it for Tap)
    7th – goblet squats
    8th – Peter Parkers
    9th – OH Press
    10th – Russian Twists w/ coupon
    11th – Hernia (V-Ups w/ coupon)
    12th – Dips

    The Pax soon discovered that the run to St. Joseph would be their reprieve, a chance to catch your breathe, swallow the puke, and try and salivate to keep from dry heaving (please tell me it wasn’t only me). With a strong start, everyone stayed together through third grade. Coyote set the pace for the 2.0’s, with Pope offering insight into his actual schedule for his upcoming school year. Lil Cuz, YJ, and America’s Best led helped to set the pace for the majority of the pax with a strong and consistent showing. YHC was terrified of the first impression he was leaving on Safety Valve. Smooth, as always, kept the run fun with the boys. YHC is sure that the convo shared between Dox and Gecko is one in reference to “that man”. Goose helped YHC set the pace, but in reality YHC was fighting to keep up through those coupon swings. A high school inspired playlist from some of the pax helped us along, and we needed all the help we could get. Imagine not having MMMBOP to get us through the sixth round of burpees?

    The Pax would make it halfway through 7th grade before time would force us to call it quits. A slow, silent mosey back to the flag and YHC desperately just wanted a cooldown walk. But the PAX pushed back and asked for three minutes of Mary. Freddie Merc’s, flutters, and ABC… (just three letters). The counting of this morning is all the evidence one would need to prove that the PAX desperately needed to repeat their grade. Now the only thing to do is make through the remaining grades at an undetermined date in the future.

    An impressive showing of 16 men this morning who came out, showed up, and put up with the shenanigans of a Saturdiddle. Til next time… or til next Saturday when we kinda have to do something similar again…but at least there will be breakfast.

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Two-fer One; We Belong Together (by Dox AND Goose) – from Paradox

    Opener: Dox
    2 roads diverged in then den
    And sorry YHCc could not travel both
    And being 2 pax long they stood
    Until 8 more HCs knew they should
    Cardinals claim,  was it right and just?
    The answer is no but the CoQ was a must
    Yet knowing how way leads to way
    We’ll keep his Q for another day
    The CoQs built a beatdown rep by rep
    There’s  a big race coming we still need the prep …

    Duke! Stop ripping off Bob Frost and roll that beautiful footage

    Warmup: Goose
    When the Cardinal-ready PAX heard that YHC and Dox were co-Q-ing, there was an astonished moment of silence. Was this scientifically possible? Two heavy hitters with two very different styles; both frighteningly all-in, tall, and good looking, but was there room in one beatdown for both? What would happen? It was like putting a gorilla in a pen with a walrus, or an alligator with a jaguar, or a bull and a bear, or a shark and Mike Tyson. Could they join forces, or would they just stare at each other wondering what move the other would make?
    Ultimately, it was a mixture of both as YHC told Paradox to come up with his usual warmup mashup ridiculousness, while I went the practical route. But, after the forward arm circle/high knees, it seemed only appropriate to match the Yin with the Yang and do backward arm circle butt kicks. This then led to P-dox leading self-love lunges, which, of course, was followed by YHC’s Moroccan Night Club Windmills. The chemistry had begun, and there was no stopping the fallout.

    Song 1: Paradox
    The coQs had a few jams planned to get the muscles loose. YHCc wanted to started with “Move Along”  by All American Rejects as a tribute to moving along from last years SV500 trauma and to talk about the first time I was dumped. Did I cry in my 02 Chevy blazer with the factory 10s?  (I kept them clean)
    Yes
    Did my now ex girlfriends dad have to jumpstart my car after the battery died in their driveway. Also yes
    But here I am after Moving along and better for it and this was my hope for the pax.
    We released the pain with hand release Merkin burpees on each “move along” and let the pain tears flow on the concrete.
    Popeye is our local burpee variation expert and I could see he appreciated it a lot.

    Song 2: Goose
    One of YHC’s fondest memories from when I was a student at LSU was the time spent in shared suffering with good brothers at the Rec Center gym. We enjoyed quality time together most days, working out before heading to class. This included a refreshing shower surrounded by mostly old men who tended to clear out relatively quickly not long after we arrived. It might have had something to do with the singing, but the jury is still out. We gravitated mostly to 80’s hits, our favorite being “We Belong” by Pat Benitar, which we sung with all the passion we could muster after a tough workout in a strikingly accurate pitch.
    YHC figured we could harness that same energy this morning to bring a sense of belonging to the PAX, especially after Dox’s story of isolation and whoa.
    We split into groups of three (one with four), and laid down with our heads together looking at the stars. The PAX were then directed to hold six inches (Legs, Yankee Joe. Get your “belonging” straight.) for the duration of the song, and execute a leg raise for every “belong”, touching toes together at the top.
    It was good. It was really good.

    First Thang: Dox
    The SV 150
    Mosey to the basketball court and partner up
    Buy in was 1 full suicide to get to the signs at the other end of the court, and after completing the chosen number of sets (given on the sign) frog hop back to get your bling

    Bronze: 10 points
    Silver: 15
    Gold: 25

    Stations for your choosing:
    1 Bobby Hurleys
    2 SSH
    3 freddy mercuries
    4 mountain climbers
    5 leg raise Dora with fence run
    6 Bonnie Blairs

    You cannot repeat a station and
    10 minute timer till we had a winner

    This went along with what YHC planned for a cardio torcher mixed with some core work. As always, it was great to be under the watchful Eye of Yankee “Sauron” Joe for an iron sharpening form critique. Great team efforts across the board. The jello legs set in very quick with frog hops and huge T – claps to Safety Valve his 4th in a row post and for continuing to pretend that being YHC’s partner is a good time.
    In the end Team Ronnie/Jeaux rekindled that old flame from last years fling to take 1st place with 100 points.
    YJ conquered his inner zinc demons and was all about the Climb  with his new found knowledge that Miley Cyrus and Hanna Montana are the same person (not a Finkle/Einhorn situation).

    Second Thang: Goose
    We gathered ALL the gear and headed back to the flag. Again, YHC had to decide between a practical grinder of 11’s, or a fun, yet challenging competition. And, again, the chemistry took over, so the fun spirit of competition continued.
    YHC grabbed some baseballs (actual baseballs, YJ) as the PAX split into new teams of three. Each team got a ball, and YHC introduced Rarajipari, a game in which teams run and kick a ball a given distance. The only rule given this morning were that the ball couldn’t be kicked by the same PAX twice. The starting line was the entrance driveway, and we had to kick it around the civic center to the mouth of the opposite driveway (a little over a quarter mile, I think). And, since it only took five minutes to complete this, we turned around and took it back the other way (to the delight of all).
    Athleticism was helpful, and endurance was a must, but the drive to get to the ball was the ultimate factor in this one. Most ran the loop faster than they otherwise would have–this caused the PAX (minus those who had attended the NOLA convergence a couple of years ago) to be surprised at how physically demanding this game is. Ultimately, though, since this crew was made up of some very driven men, it seemed that the soccer skills of Yankee Joe and Safety Valve were the deciding factor in giving their team the win. (YHC could get to the ball but couldn’t seem to kick it more than three feet, and even then, in an unhelpful direction.)

    COT, Valve got the loaded GiGi, and Pope prayed us out.

    Conclusion: Dox

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    At some AO ages and ages hence
    The men of F3 take the road less traveled
    And that has made all the difference