F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Peltch

  • The Great Nursery Rhyme Beatdown of 2022 – from Goose

    Kilo warned us it might happen. “Bring a towel,” he said. “It might be wet out there,” he said. But, little did he or the rest of the PAX know the level of carnage that YHC had in store for this cold, windy, soggy morning. Of course, Cardinal may have used his spiritual upper hand to gain some kind of foresight that led to his admittedly pure, unexcused fartsacking. The rest were caught off guard by what at first seemed to be just a semi-creative way to work through a hard, but not impossible Tabata list. But, then came Jack and Jill…

    Warmup: the usual Goose faves–SSH, WM, AC, IW, and Self-Love with some high knees and butt kicks to wake up the cardio system

    Thang 1: Tabata (“It’s Italian for…”)
    One minute, as many reps as possible (AMRAP) of each of the following exercises, with 30 seconds of rest in between, which was long enough for YHC to explain the next nursery rhyme and its connection to the assigned exercise:
    * Humpty Dumpty—wall sit
    * Jack be nimble—hop back and forth over a line, feet together
    * Sing a song of sixpence—8-count body builders (the king was in his counting house…)
    * Pop Goes the Weasel—monkey humpers
    * Old King Cole—wacky jacks (like a jester)
    * Georgie Porgie—suicides (when the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away)
    * Little Boy Blue—BBS (wake up, boy!)
    * Little Miss Moffet—Dips (rise up off that tuffet!)
    * Peter Peter—Peter Parker Peter
    * Old Mother Hubbard—Nolan Ryans (reaching into a bare cupboard, coming up empty-
    handed)
    * Rockaby Baby—LBC’s
    * Three Blind Mice—mosey to the sidewalk in front of the playground (see how they run).

    Thang 2: Jack and Jill
    Partner up (Jack and Jill): Jack (partner 1) runs up the hill to fetch a pail of water, and does five jump squats at the top before coming back down, while Jill (partner 2) falls down (burpees). Partner 1 takes over the burpee count upon returning until 100 are completed. Then, Jack broke his crown: 100 Carolina Dry Docks, while partner 1 still ran up the hill to do five jump squats. Lastly, Jill came tumbling after, which meant 100 Superman/Canoes while Jack still ran up for jump squats. Superman/Canoes = PAX started on faces in Superman position (arms and legs up), then rolled to the six without the use of hands to Canoe position (head and legs a few inches off the ground, hands down by hips).
    The combination of that many consecutive burpees with jump squats at the top of a small hill seemed to be a new level of suck for many of the Bayou PAX, but complaints were few. Could’ve been because we still hadn’t laid in any cold puddles yet (Superman/Canoes were done on the sidewalk.)

    Thang 3: Deal or No Deal
    YHC left the nursery rhyme theme behind for the last 15 minutes as we moseyed to the practice field and the heretofore hidden F3 Deck of Death was revealed. (Note: the cards are very much waterproof, mudproof, and tear proof, but the box is very much not.) Each PAX was given a chance to pick two cards but only look at the first. They could then decide whether all would complete the first card’s exercise, or blindly commit to the second.
    Though most of the ridiculously hard cards were avoided, the greater majority of exercises chosen seemed to require lying in the mud, so Kilo’s warning was well grounded. Due to the high winds, most PAX were still wearing their sweatshirts (even after Jack and Jill) so they soaked up the frigid puddles like sponges. The mosey back to the flag was heavy and cold, but spirits were high as the proud PAX discussed making t-shirts or getting tattoos that said, “I survived the Great Nursery Rhyme Beatdown of 2022!”

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead and being willing to keep pushing, especially you new guys who are still working through your first weeks of this! And, much gratitude for you somewhat more experienced PAX who have decided that F3 is now a part of how you do life well. Your companionship in the gloom is a gift beyond value!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • The Reality of Weakness – from Goose

    A solid nine PAX gathered at the Peltch despite having six regulars out due to sickness or travel. An FNG showed early and was almost spooked by what at first seemed only to be a pile of kids wrestling around a flag. It was only YHC’s three 2.0’s, and it didn’t take long for the rest of the PAX to pull in and make it clear that there were plenty of out-of-shape adults to play with, too. The FNG (Jacob Broussard) was EH’d by Tighty Whitey, and is an awesome addition to the Thibodaux crew!

    Warmup was led by Coyote, whose cadence count was adequate, and consisted of: SSH, Windmills, high knees, butt kicks, Arm Circles, IW, and Self-love
    Moseyed to the Diamond for…

    Thang 1: Duck Jousting
    The infield was the ring, and with arms folded across the chest (most of the time), duck-walking PAX tried to knock each other down. Last man standing won while those who fell did exercises while they waited: squats for the first round, lunges for the second, and heel raises for the third. There may have been some elbows, arm hooks, and very tall ducks here and there, but even without performance enhancing tactics, rounds were short, and the FNG proved himself a sturdy duck.

    Thang 2: All Around the Thunderdome
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome and circled in the center while YHC explained that the PAX would do an exercise for the length of time it took for one of us to run the sidewalk around the dome and the adjacent community center building (approx. 400 meters). While each took a turn running, the rest completed one of the following exercises while yearning to catch a glimpse of the runner coming around the final corner from behind the building:
    * Mission Impossible plank
    * Heel raises
    * J-Lo’s
    * Donkey kicks
    * Diamond Merkins
    * Heels to Heaven
    * Bonnie Blairs
    * Chill cut plank
    * Merkins

    Thang 3: The Ground is Lava
    Moseyed to the playground where YHC revealed the lesson of the day, particularly as it related to Thang 2 and 3:

    There’s only so much we can do at any particular moment about the fact that we have weaknesses, and those weaknesses will affect other people in a negative way whether we like it or not. And, we will be affected in a negative way by the weaknesses of others, whether we like it or not. What reveals the true greatness in man (and the image of the Maker in man), however, is our ability to choose how we respond when affected by another’s weakness. Our true greatness is shown clearest when we choose to allow ourselves to be affected by the weakness of another so that he’s not left alone in it. “No man left behind” is most deeply and fruitfully fulfilled when we’re willing to suffer with another man even if we have the ability to avoid that suffering ourselves. “Catching the six” is the most obvious example of this in F3, but so is “The Ground is Lava”:

    PAX lined up at the long-ish monkey bars to traverse, hand over hand, without touching the ground. If any appendage so much as brushed the ground, all PAX dropped for 10 burpees. Same rules applied for two other areas of the playground–mostly requiring upper body strength, balance, and perseverance. Most of the elements were chosen knowing that one or two guys might struggle, but the burpees were done with willing camaraderie, and there was no room for shame or isolation.
    What seemed like it might have a childish feel on paper ended up feeling more like a joint challenge, and the shouting of encouraging words and guidance were a constant.
    The only thing YHC might have changed was the use of the slides at the end. These suckers came down long and steep from the second story, and they were wet. There were three next to each other, the middle one straight and the other two bending sharply, one to the right and the other to the left at the very end. Percleator was the first down the middle, and he almost had his pretty grill knocked out as he was thrown dangerously close to the perimeter boundary at about 30 mph. Paradox chose the one to the right, and YHC wished he would have caught the violent, body-tossing action on camera as he was jarred sideways at the hip air after slipping a reportedly “six-times faster” than he expected through the bend at the bottom. He landed hard on his side after barrel rolling in the air once or twice, but he’s a medical professional, so he was able to reset all dislocated joints before we could even ask if he was ok. The rest used the shoe brake method, but the fire-pole may have been the better call.

    Indian Run around the park before a final sprint to the flag for three long minutes of Mary: all IC–Alphabet (with feet in leg raise position), LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, Crunchy Frogs.

    Welcome Pledge! Way to stick with it!

    COT and Percleator prayed us out.

    Awesome morning, and so grateful to you men for posting and pushing hard!
    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Cornhole Gras – from Cardinal

    A beatdown on the Saturday of Mardi Gras weekend couldn’t leave the PAX unprepared for the festivities that awaited them. So out of charity for the brothers, YHC couldn’t let them down for his first Q.

    The indisputable best way to pass the time as you’re tailgating waiting for the next parade is a rousing game of cornhole, so the PAX assembled at the Peltch for a cornhole beatdown like no other to ensure that they’d be pros by the time we finished.

    First, the basic warmups of the usuals: SSH, IW, AC and CP, WM, and SL.

    After that, we moseyed on over to the chimney for a more focused set of strength-training exercises. Even the most basic cornhole player knows that it’s all about the stance, the slight squat, the balancing arm (with or without a beverage in the other hand) (but definitely with). So we did some one-legged squats, nice and slow in cadence, 10 per leg, to get the balance of the throwing arm. To strengthen your core stability to ensure a clean throw, 20 big boy sit-ups followed. And to make sure you wouldn’t land a bag 3 feet in front of the board, a nice long stretch of air presses (35 in cadence).

    But because we didn’t want to just be average cornhole players, but legendary, we went into round 2: A set of 15 genuflections in cadence to really get the legs pumping, 20 American hammers in cadence to solidify the core, and 30 Moroccan night clubs to get that power throw down.

    To close out the preparatory exercises, and to get our minds in the right place, we listened to the hit single by Rhett and Link called none other than “Cornhole Song.” Truly an experience to listen to as a pump up before an intense game. The PAX held Al Gore position and dropped for a burpee every time “cornhole” was said. Sufficiently prepared, and thinking of themselves as “Don Cornholio,” we moseyed to our final destination – a set of cement cornhole boards that the PAX had never known was actually there the whole time.

    Now, YHC had high expectations after such expert training. Each PAX got 5 throws (1 warm up and 4 throws) to try to score 7 points. If they succeeded, they were gifted with a slightly easier reward. And if they didn’t, the whole group paid for it.

    Round 1: 6 or below: bear crawl around a nearby square court, with 5 diamond ‘mericans at each corner. 7 or above: run around with 5 regular mericans.
    Round 2: success got them a Carioca around the field with 10 smurf jacks at each corner, while failure got them an attempted murder bunny around the field, with 7 jump squats at each corner
    Round 3: if they were good, nur around the field with 10 LBC’s at the corners, and if they weren’t, crab walking around the field with 7 leg lifts at each corner.

    Each PAX got the chance to throw, cycling through each round, and YHC was sorely disappointed by the general performance (including his own). The threshold of success was quickly lowered to 5, and then to 3. Sometimes we succeeded, mostly we didn’t, but fun was surely had by all.

    To close us out, and to show that all he needed was a solid warm up round, Enron nailed a very respectable 7 points, and at that we moseyed back to the flag (which, I have to confess, was shamefully left in my car during the workout – forgive me, Father, for I have sinned).

    Closed out with a little bit of Mary: penguins and crunchy frogs. COT and Paradox prayed us out, and welcome to Piccadilly – a unquestionably Spirit-given name to our new FNG.

    Looking forward to hearing about all the cornhole games won by the PAX in the coming days.

    SYITG,
    Cardinal

  • Wild World of Sports! – from Goose

    A solid 9 PAX (ultimately) gathered in the frozen gloom, though Goats in the Machine and the newly named Sonic rolled in a little late and had to meet us on the football field due to a classic 4-year-old shoe hunt.
    PAX: Enron, Cardinal, Kilo, Dumpster Fire, Goats in the Machine, Pope, Coyote, Sonic, Goose

    After a warmup of the usuals (SSH, AC, WM, IW, SL, High Knees and Butt Kicks), we moseyed to the E.D. White football field for the first Thibodaux experience of 1st and 10. Started on the 10 yard line with 10 merkins and 1 burpee followed by a sprint to the goal line and a mosey back to the 20 for 9 merkins and two burpees. Sprinted to the goal line and back to the 30 for 8 merkins and 3 burpees, etc. until we ended at the goal line with 1 merkin and 10 burpees.

    Enron and YHC both noticed the unique, exhilarating feeling of running the length of a football field into the endzone, realizing that it wasn’t something either of us have experienced outside of maybe special teams. I guess late 30’s is better than never, though the roar of the crowd sounded more like wheezing and cursing.

    Nice, long mosey from the field to the Thunderdome hauling all the layers we shed after two minutes on the football field. PAX completed the following on the bleachers:
    20 R Leg step ups
    20 Freak Nasties (YHC shared newfound knowledge of why dips are called Freak Nasties: “Dip, baby, dip!”)
    20 L leg step ups
    20 Irkins
    15 Box jumps
    15 Derkins

    PAX gathered armfuls of wardrobe and moseyed to the diamond for animal baseball:
    Round 1:
    All PAX started at home, revving up with 20 mountain climbers before bear crawling to first, crab walking to 2nd, duck walking to 3rd, and bunny hopping home.
    Round 2–Animals have gone Rabid!
    Started at home by pounding the frozen ground with 10 Mahtkar N’Diayes, then Crawl Bear to first, Walk Crab to 2nd, Walk Duck to 3rd (interesting), and Hop Bunny home.

    Indian Run around the park followed by some Mary at the soon to be built flag: Crunchy Frogs and Nolan Ryans.
    Welcome Sonic!
    COT and Enron prayed us out.
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Rock, Paper, Scissors, Bombs, and a Thunderdome – from Goose

    The weather this morning may have been the closest to perfect F3 weather that exists. The PAX were grateful for a cool breeze and dry grass, especially as the burpee count continued to rise.
    PAX: Goose, Percolator, Enron, Pope, Coyote

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC (fore, back), Cherry pickers, IW, Self love

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome in a roundabout fashion to wake the legs and lungs up. Once there, PAX partnered up for BOMBS. As one PAX ran to the bathroom building and completed three donkey kicks against the brick wall, the other worked on:
    50 Burpees
    100 Overhead presses in people’s chair position (sitting against a column)
    150 Merkins
    175 Big Boi Situps
    200 Squats
    YHC was quick to choose Coyote as partner to the chagrin of Enron–we all know how Coyote rolls–though the pace was about even for most of it. The overhead presses went pretty quick (especially for Coyote), but the rest was nice and grueling.

    Thang 2:
    Moseyed to the Chimney for a Rock, Paper, Scissors, Burpees competition. Each round, the winner does merkins while loser does burpees–1 for first round, 2 for second, etc., up to 10. YHC still has some lingering PTSD from the first time I did this on the Northshore at Granny’s. Steve was my partner throughout, and I lost the last 9 out of 10 rounds, which meant a total of 54 relatively non-stop burpees broken intermittently only by a couple seconds of hope that I might win the next round and catch my breath only to have my metaphorical head dunked back under the metaphorical water. Steve, if you’re reading this, your mind-reading witchcraft is going to send you straight to hell.
    This time, we switched partners each round to stem some of the mind reading, though Enron bragged after round 7 that he’d only done one burpee thus far. His prided ended up being his undoing as rounds 8-10 resulted in straight burpees for the expert strategist.

    With about ten minutes remaining, we gathered around a bench on the trail for alternating incline merkins/diamond merkins/werkins on the back of it and step ups on the front. Indian run back to the flag with the last man running backward to the front of the line.

    Mary at the flag was 30 Scuba Steves, 25 Australian Sweat Angels, 15 static wife pleasers, 15 normal wife pleasers, and 10 count Lazy Boys (straight, right, and left) all IC 4-count. Coyote wistfully stated that the Lazy Boy’s reminded him of Wet Tap, then looked into the distance and sighed. The PAX responded with slow, understanding nods and a moment of silent reflection, remembering the good times.

    COT and Coyote prayed us out. Thanks for pushing today, fellas! It was an honor to be with you!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • It’s All Fun and Games Until Jingle Bell Time – from Goose

    Six PAX gathered Saturday morning at a thickly decorated Peltch with high hopes that a game would provide a needed break from what had been a grinding week of brutal beatdowns.

    It didn’t.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, IW, SL (the favorites)

    Thang:
    A 3 on 3 game of ultimate frisburpee started with Team Dawson blasting to an early lead in what looked to be a total blowout requiring some team switching to make things more even. But, after Coyote’s trash talking lit a fire under Enron, an epic comeback was underway. YHC offered to end the game after 20 minutes with a tie score of 10-10, but a tie was not the fulfillment Enron and Cardinal were looking for, so Goose and his Goslings promptly scored another goal.
    The new Southshore rules made for a faster, more competitive game (last person to touch the frisbee when it lands does 4 burpees, and the frisbee is live for either team), though we weren’t able to incorporate the dodgeball throwing goalie without a few more PAX on the field.

    Moseyed to just north of the Thunderdome where we planked up for some Christmas action to the song “Jingle Bells”: stayed in plank with Merkins for every “Jingle”, and a different exercise for each verse:
    Verse 1: Mountain Climbers
    Verse 2: Australian Sweat Angels
    Verse 3: Flutter Kicks
    Verse 4: Plank Jacks

    Quick mosey to the Diamond where PAX partnered up for a “catch me if you can” around the bases: P1 bear crawled around the bases while P2 completed 15 180-degree jump squats (spin halfway around at each jump) and 10 Big Boi Situps, then P2 ran to catch P1 and take over bear crawling. P2 ran the rest of the way home to plank up while waiting for P1 to get there. Flapjack and repeat.

    Then, PAX lined up in handstand position against the dugout fence for a Balls the Wall Indian Crawl: first person in line dropped and bear crawled to the end until all PAX had a turn.

    Last element–PAX lined up on the first base line for suicides: Nur (backwards run) to the pitchers mound and run back to complete 1 triple jump squat burpee; then, to the second base line and back with 2 triple jump squat burpees, then halfway through the outfield w/3, and then to the wall and back with 4.
    The way YHC wrote it up, it was only going to be 1 triple jump squat burpee at every return to the baseline, but since Enron was excited enough to ask, “Only 1?”, YHC though it an excellent moment to teach the new PAX about the dynamic of mumblechatter. There would ultimately be four total modifications due to mumblechatter, and the PAX was grateful for the opportunity to be drawn deeper into the culture of F3…

    After moseying back to the flag for some Mary, count off, COT, and prayer, YHC explained some of the reasoning behind the ramping up of intensity over the past week or so:

    One of the things I’m most grateful for about F3 is that, though it provides a deep sense of shared purpose and accomplishment, rarely does participation in F3 inflate the ego. I usually leave a beatdown both humbled and grateful, which provides me with the perfect mindset for my role as husband, father, employee, friend, and most importantly, a child of God. So, if the beatdown doesn’t humble us, we miss out on a great gift, not to mention that one of the greatest obstacles to true companionship is a swollen ego.
    So, I’m deeply grateful for F3 and for you men for giving me the opportunity to be humbled together with you.

    SYITG,
    Goose