F3 New Orleans

Tag: Tuesday Tuff

  • More Like South Nazareth – from Goose

    YHC and Pope pulled up to the Stage this morning to find a strange SUV parked and running in typical FNG fashion. AB had hinted at this possibility, so YHC exited the truck gingerly so as not to scare him away. Then, we noticed that there were two in the SUV, one of whom was bald, bearded, and bespectacled, and bore a striking resemblance to a pic that had been posted on the Learned League GroupMe the week earlier and had become the center of attention over the last couple of days. It was, indeed, Kendall Theriot, the only non-Mitchell to give AB a run for the local title for sharpest Llama. But, alas, KT had lost in dramatic fashion to his own son this very morning, and the fall was great. That fall included a loss in a wager with an agreement to join AB at F3 should he lose the tournament to him. It was good to finally put a body to the head, a voice to the digital trash talk. YHC couldn’t wait to hear the kind of chatter that would flow this morning (especially after Tana, a long-time friend of his, also pulled in). KT will henceforth be referred to by Teravanilli, his newly minted name.

    We started with the usual warmups after the disclaimer was given, and YHC was reminded of his first beatdown (my legs were completely shot after the warmup). Then, YHC explained that, since tomorrow is St. Joseph’s Day, we’d celebrate a little early with a St. Joseph themed beatdown today.

    The first thang was a partner Dora to steep a bit in the life of a carpenter in Nazareth (which was more like a builder, most likely). While one partner worked on 200 one-armed rows (sawing), 100 brick layers, and 50 thrusters, the other partner, the beast of burden, block-and-beared across to the opposite sidewalk before rifle carrying back. YHC chose music that Joseph may have listened to if he had a bluetooth speaker, traditional Nazareth pop music (well, more like South Nazareth).

    After about 3 minutes, our good, hard work was interrupted by a dream (“Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics) wherein the Angel Gabriel told us that our fiance’ was pregnant via the Holy Spirit. Then, we discovered that we had to travel all the way to Bethlehem, our ancestral land, because of a census. So, we dropped everything right where it was and started hoofing it. We headed up the newly opened Stretch and made our way around to Rich Man’s Loop, where the townhouses began. It took us a while to get there since Mary’s pregnant and needing to go a little slower (this role was played impeccably by Teravanilli). So, the inns (townhouses) were all full. We knew this because we bear crawled to the front of each and jumped up and down asking for help (25 jump squats, for the 25th of December).

    The “inns” were rather close together, and the version of “Little Town of Bethlehem” that YHC chose was rather long, so the jump squats started quickly looking less and less like a desperate cry for help and more and more like a geriatric twerking class. Soon enough, however, we were given respite in a stable out behind one of the “inns”, and after the child was born, we started to get settled in our new location. But, once again, we were unexpectedly interrupted by Gabriel/Annie Lennox, and it was time to hoof it to Egypt, no time to lose.

    Egypt was over where the monuments to the kings of Thibodaux stand, and after a pickup-six, we completed a quick song routine to the expected Bangles hit “Walk Like an Egyptian”. Imperial Walkers for the duration and Bonnie Blairs for every “Egyptian”. So, pretty much 4 minutes of Imperial Walkers (there are only like 4 “Egyptians”–who knew?).

    Gabrielrhytmics came back one more time to let us know that the coast was clear, and we needed to head back home to Nazareth. This is where we’d live out the last of our days as a Simple Man (Lynard Skynard style), continuing our work as a carpenter (the rest of the Dora) until our time expired.

    It may seem like Joseph was jerked around, that Gabriel/God took his simple, predictable life from him and forced him to move from place to place, trying to keep his little family alive. But, what makes St. Joseph so great, and so blessed, is that he was willing to say “yes” and do what was asked of him, trusting that God would provide, and most importantly, that it was worth it. So, he gave up everything, but what he gained was the Creator of the Universe, God Himself, in his arms, in his home, every day for the rest of his life. Not a bad trade-off. He just had to let go of control, to let go of what He could picture, and trust that God truly knows what He’s doing.

    The PAX was impressed by Teravanilli’s willingness to show up and keep pushing despite a tough experience. We’ve all been there (and were there again just this past Saturday), so it means a lot when one more man makes the leap to go through it with us. The FNG naming took a while–there was so much good material–but YHC was taken by YJ’s suggestion at the very beginning of the beatdown to call him Teravanilli, an answer to one of the questions in the infamous trivia league loss. (If a millivanilli is 1/1000th of a vanilli, what is 1 trillion vanillis?). So, he’ll have a good time trying to explain that every time he introduces himself. We fully expect to see him Thursday morning.

    Announcements, COT, and Cuz prayed us out. Thanks for playing along this morning, fellas–I’ll forward any Ring videos from neighbors as I receive them.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Takin’ it to Das Streets – from America’s Best

    Sometime back in February, “the algorithm” presented to YHC a video of Klootschiten, a wintertime Dutch road-bowling game that includes pulling along a liquor wagon. It’s a team sport, with rules similar to golf, and the course is a series of roads. So, in the spirit of “everything is a beatdown,” it seemed like a good way to get some running in for a Tuesday during RCR… but the full Q sheet pushed it into March. Instead of a wagon, one team member would haul a coupon. And before each throw, the team would do the number of burpees corresponding to which number throw they are on. The man with the coupon would do 2x curls instead.

    On Kloot-day, however, YHC’s back was tweaked, so I opted to alternate Goosies on the even numbers. And when you get to throw number 20… no, 10, you start over at one again. You know what, let’s make it 20.

    But first, Goose requested trivia. And we had a downranger MerMan to impress…
    So, what are the 3 main countries who participate in this sport?
    YHC pronounced “Klootschiten” with the hardest, most severe German accent I could force. Of course, Goose’s first guess was “Ireland.” Which was correct.
    Yankee Jeaux obviously knew the answer, but apparently all he heard was a challenge, and could only chatter back a seemingly unending string of Germanic jibberish.
    Still, after 5 penalty burpees, YHC counted that as a correct answer.
    Montana rounded out the correct answers with The Netherlands. The man was burned by those Aldi cookies, and now knows that things inspired by Germany may actually be Dutch.

    Teams were formed and off we went. Team Goose-Dox-Merman cleverly threw their kloot under the dumpster early, so they could not hear (ignore) an important rules change that would undoubtedly change the course of Kloot history forever.
    Sometimes you get a feeling that Goose is going to beat you, but what can you do? I’ll tell you what you can do—you don’t just roll over and let it happen. No, what you do is you make the rules ambiguous enough, or you change them enough times that Goose accidentally cheats.
    And so the righteous teams did probably like 3 times more burpees and Goosies and curls, but Team Green was gracious enough to come back and pick up the losers.
    While two teams were still hammering away on the course, the other team was hanging out at the flag. YHC had a contingency plan. A reverse Dora was written on a cardboard box. 400 Imperial Walkers (MOT Fox Holes), 200 curls (MOT lunge walk), 100 WJs (MOT mosey). Team Yankee Popeye Pope was instructed to begin.
    But there was too much confusion about whether a backwards Dora could actually exist, or if there was some new reading style in which you read the bottom-to-top. The schism resulted in Popeye Imperial Walking Alone. (For the record, there is no language on Earth read bottom to top).

    YHC’s team limped into last place with time enough for a quick YJ favorite. With Lent nigh, it was time to “Give it Up.” YHC had spent an inadvisable amount of time selecting the right remix… but ultimately found one in which there are somewhere between 40 and 50 triggers, 75% of which occur in the last 30 seconds. So we held plank, merkined on each “give it up,” and mountain-climbed during any musical interludes. While most of the PAX were groaning, Yankee Joe was grinning, and at least once I swear I heard him mutter “my precious.” There has since been wild speculation of a YJ 45-minute “Give it Up Remix” BD.

    All that was left was a few minutes of Mary, primarily to answer the burning question “What does WJ stand for?!?!”

    COT
    Push up Pimp was transferred sub rosa from White Meat to Pope
    Goose prayed us out

    Always an honor to lead you men.
    SYITG,
    AB

  • Takin’ it to Das Streets – from America’s Best

    Sometime back in February, “the algorithm” presented to YHC a video of Klootschiten, a wintertime Dutch road-bowling game that includes pulling along a liquor wagon. It’s a team sport, with rules similar to golf, and the course is a series of roads. So, in the spirit of “everything is a beatdown,” it seemed like a good way to get some running in for a Tuesday during RCR… but the full Q sheet pushed it into March. Instead of a wagon, one team member would haul a coupon. And before each throw, the team would do the number of burpees corresponding to which number throw they are on. The man with the coupon would do 2x curls instead.

    On Kloot-day, however, YHC’s back was tweaked, so I opted to alternate Goosies on the even numbers. And when you get to throw number 20… no, 10, you start over at one again. You know what, let’s make it 20.

    But first, Goose requested trivia. And we had a downranger MerMan to impress…
    So, what are the 3 main countries who participate in this sport?
    YHC pronounced “Klootschiten” with the hardest, most severe German accent I could force. Of course, Goose’s first guess was “Ireland.” Which was correct.
    Yankee Jeaux obviously knew the answer, but apparently all he heard was a challenge, and could only chatter back a seemingly unending string of Germanic jibberish.
    Still, after 5 penalty burpees, YHC counted that as a correct answer.
    Montana rounded out the correct answers with The Netherlands. The man was burned by those Aldi cookies, and now knows that things inspired by Germany may actually be Dutch.

    Teams were formed and off we went. Team Goose-Dox-Merman cleverly threw their kloot under the dumpster early, so they could not hear (ignore) an important rules change that would undoubtedly change the course of Kloot history forever.
    Sometimes you get a feeling that Goose is going to beat you, but what can you do? I’ll tell you what you can do—you don’t just roll over and let it happen. No, what you do is you make the rules ambiguous enough, or you change them enough times that Goose accidentally cheats.
    And so the righteous teams did probably like 3 times more burpees and Goosies and curls, but Team Green was gracious enough to come back and pick up the losers.
    While two teams were still hammering away on the course, the other team was hanging out at the flag. YHC had a contingency plan. A reverse Dora was written on a cardboard box. 400 Imperial Walkers (MOT Fox Holes), 200 curls (MOT lunge walk), 100 WJs (MOT mosey). Team Yankee Popeye Pope was instructed to begin.
    But there was too much confusion about whether a backwards Dora could actually exist, or if there was some new reading style in which you read the bottom-to-top. The schism resulted in Popeye Imperial Walking Alone. (For the record, there is no language on Earth read bottom to top).

    YHC’s team limped into last place with time enough for a quick YJ favorite. With Lent nigh, it was time to “Give it Up.” YHC had spent an inadvisable amount of time selecting the right remix… but ultimately found one in which there are somewhere between 40 and 50 triggers, 75% of which occur in the last 30 seconds. So we held plank, merkined on each “give it up,” and mountain-climbed during any musical interludes. While most of the PAX were groaning, Yankee Joe was grinning, and at least once I swear I heard him mutter “my precious.” There has since been wild speculation of a YJ 45-minute “Give it Up Remix” BD.

    All that was left was a few minutes of Mary, primarily to answer the burning question “What does WJ stand for?!?!”

    COT
    Push up Pimp was transferred sub rosa from White Meat to Pope
    Goose prayed us out

    Always an honor to lead you men.
    SYITG,
    AB

  • Takin’ it to the Streets – from America’s Best

    Sometime back in February, “the algorithm” presented to YHC a video of Klootschiten, a wintertime Dutch road-bowling game that includes pulling along a liquor wagon. It’s a team sport, with rules similar to golf, and the course is a series of roads. So, in the spirit of “everything is a beatdown,” it seemed like a good way to get some running in for a Tuesday during RCR… unfortunately the full Q sheet pushed it into March. Instead of a wagon, one team member would haul a coupon. And before each throw, the team would do the number of burpees corresponding to which number throw they are on. The man with the coupon would do 2x curls instead.

    On Kloot-day, however, YHC’s back was tweaked, so I opted to alternate Goosies on the even numbers. And when you get to throw number 20… no, 10, you start over at one again. You know what, let’s make it 20.

    But first, Goose requested trivia. And we needed to show downranger MerMan what we are all about? So, what are the 3 main countries who participate in this sport?

    YHC pronounced “Klootschiten” with the hardest, most severe German accent I could force. Of course, Goose’s first guess was “Ireland.” Which was correct.
    Yankee Jeaux obviously knew the answer, but apparently all he heard was a challenge, and could only chatter back a seemingly unending string of Germanic jibberish.
    Still, after 5 penalty burpees, YHC counted that as a correct answer.
    Montana rounded out the correct answers with The Netherlands. The man was burned by those Aldi cookies, and now knows that things inspired by Germany may actually be Dutch.

    Teams were formed and off we went. Team Goose-Dox-Merman cleverly threw their kloot under the dumpster early, so they could not hear (ignore) an important rules change that would undoubtedly change the course of Kloot history forever.
    Sometimes you get a feeling that Goose is going to beat you, but what can you do? I’ll tell you what you can do—you don’t just roll over and let it happen. No, what you do is you make the rules ambiguous enough, or you change them enough times that Goose accidentally cheats.
    And so the righteous teams did probably like 3 times more burpees and Goosies and curls, but Team Green was gracious enough to come back and pick up the losers.
    While two teams were still hammering away on the course, the other team was hanging out at the flag. YHC had a contingency plan. A reverse Dora was written on a cardboard box. 400 Imperial Walkers (MOT Fox Holes), 200 curls(MOT lunge walk), 100 WJ(Wheezy Jeffersons) (MOT mosey). Team Yankee Popeye Pope was instructed to begin.
    But there was too much confusion about whether a backwards Dora could actually exist, or if there was some new reading style in which you read the bottom-to-top. The schism left Popeye Imperial Walking alone. (For the record, there is no language on Earth read bottom to top).
    YHC’s team limped into last place with time enough for a quick YJ favorite. With Lent nigh, it was time to “Give it Up.” YHC had spent an inadvisable amount of time selecting the right remix… but found one in which there are somewhere between 40 and 50 triggers, 75% of which occur in the last 30 seconds. So held plank and merkined on each “Give it Up,” mountain climbing during any instrumental breaks. While most of the PAX were groaning, Yankee Joe was grinning, and at least once I swear I hear him mutter “my precious.” There since has been wild speculation of a YJ 45-minute “Give it Up Remix” BD.
    All that was left was a few minutes of Mary, primarily to answer the burning question “what does WJ stand for?!?!”

    COT
    WM conveyed Push up Pimp sub rosa to Pope
    Goose prayed us out

    Thanks men, always an honor to lead.
    SYITG,
    AB

  • Takin’ it to the Streets – from America’s Best

    Sometime back in February, “the algorithm” presented to YHC a video of Klootschiten, a wintertime Dutch road-bowling game that includes pulling along a liquor wagon. It’s a team sport, with rules similar to golf, and the course is a series of roads. So, in the spirit of “everything is a beatdown,” it seemed like a good way to get some running in for a Tuesday during RCR… unfortunately the full Q sheet pushed it into March. Instead of a wagon, one team member would haul a coupon. And before each throw, the team would do the number of burpees corresponding to which number throw they are on. The man with the coupon would do 2x curls instead.

    On Kloot-day, however, YHC’s back was tweaked, so I opted to alternate Goosies on the even numbers. And when you get to throw number 20… no, 10, you start over at one again. You know what, let’s make it 20.

    But first, Goose requested trivia. And we needed to show downranger MerMan what we are all about? So, what are the 3 main countries who participate in this sport?

    YHC pronounced “Klootschiten” with the hardest, most severe German accent I could force. Of course, Goose’s first guess was “Ireland.” Which was correct.
    Yankee Jeaux obviously knew the answer, but apparently all he heard was a challenge, and could only chatter back a seemingly unending string of Germanic jibberish.
    Still, after 5 penalty burpees, YHC counted that as a correct answer.
    Montana rounded out the correct answers with The Netherlands. The man was burned by those Aldi cookies, and now knows that things inspired by Germany may actually be Dutch.

    Teams were formed and off we went. Team Goose-Dox-Merman cleverly threw their kloot under the dumpster early, so they could not hear (ignore) an important rules change that would undoubtedly change the course of Kloot history forever.
    Sometimes you get a feeling that Goose is going to beat you, but what can you do? I’ll tell you what you can do—you don’t just roll over and let it happen. No, what you do is you make the rules ambiguous enough, or you change them enough times that Goose accidentally cheats.
    And so the righteous teams did probably like 3 times more burpees and Goosies and curls, but Team Green was gracious enough to come back and pick up the losers.
    While two teams were still hammering away on the course, the other team was hanging out at the flag. YHC had a contingency plan. A reverse Dora was written on a cardboard box. 400 Imperial Walkers (MOT Fox Holes), 200 curls(MOT lunge walk), 100 WJ(Wheezy Jeffersons) (MOT mosey). Team Yankee Popeye Pope was instructed to begin.
    But there was too much confusion about whether a backwards Dora could actually exist, or if there was some new reading style in which you read the bottom-to-top. The schism left Popeye Imperial Walking alone. (For the record, there is no language on Earth read bottom to top).
    YHC’s team limped into last place with time enough for a quick YJ favorite. With Lent nigh, it was time to “Give it Up.” YHC had spent an inadvisable amount of time selecting the right remix… but found one in which there are somewhere between 40 and 50 triggers, 75% of which occur in the last 30 seconds. So held plank and merkined on each “Give it Up,” mountain climbing during any instrumental breaks. While most of the PAX were groaning, Yankee Joe was grinning, and at least once I swear I hear him mutter “my precious.” There since has been wild speculation of a YJ 45-minute “Give it Up Remix” BD.
    All that was left was a few minutes of Mary, primarily to answer the burning question “what does WJ stand for?!?!”

    COT
    WM conveyed Push up Pimp sub rosa to Pope
    Goose prayed us out

    Thanks men, always an honor to lead.
    SYITG,
    AB

  • Opposites, a Track – from Honeysuckle

    With recent parts of February including such major holidays as Valentine’s Day and Presidents’ Day, and with It’s Only a Mile (aka White Meat’s VQ) being in the rear view mirror, it is only natural to forget that February is still Run Cajun Run and many of our PAX should be logging miles so that our team totals can exceed Ochoa’s or Hawg’s solo distances. Seven PAX would join YHC on the quest for a few more miles.

    Warmarama: SSH, Windmills, WMH, Imperial Walkers, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Tie Fighters F/R, Cherry Pickers, Lafayette Nightclubs

    Thang 1: Indigenous Run to the Loop of Sweet Grass. Drop off, do a burpee.

    Thang 2: Start with 1 perfect merkin. Run forward 2 lightpoles, Nur back 1 lightpole, Do 2 perfect merkins. The run and nur would remain at 2 and 1, respectively, but the perfect merkin count incremented by 1 each time. This essentially turned a ~1/2 mile loop into a 1.5 mile loop. Regrets were expressed at flatulence that would normally be left behind, yet had to be encountered when directions reversed. Tana’s nur speed was impressive. Several one-way hellos were said. Typical sweet grass stuff.

    Thang 3: Run back to the flag. Partner up. 100 LBCs, 100 Freddy Mercuries, 100 Leg raises. The partner not doing the exercise ran a lap. AB must have filled up with high octane that morning as he was passing folks up on the sidewalks.

    Thang 4: 30 seconds left, so run to the far side of the field and back.

    Pushup pimp awarded to White Meat by YHC for grinding out those perfect merkins. YJ prayed us out.

    As always, it is a privilege to spend these 45 minutes in the morning with these HIMs.

  • Hive Mind – from America’s Best

    Waramrama

    YHC was thinking of a story his old man told him years ago. He was at work, minding his own business, when some large bird (likely a Goose) slammed into his workstation at about 600mph, splattering blood everywhere. Oh, did I mention his workstation was the backseat of an F-4? Anyway, it shattered the canopy a bit, and (unbeknownst to them) knocked out their communications. Because he wasn’t getting an answer, Dad thought his buddy upfront was either dead or unconscious; his front-seater thought the same thing of him. So what ensued for several seconds was each man trying to take control of the stick, unsuccessfully because they were basically fighting each other. Eventually, they both figured out that the other was ok, somehow, just because they had trained for so long together.
    I got to thinking, when you train with some dudes, maybe you can start to think what they are thinking…

    The Thing 1:

    An exercise is assigned to each pair of partners.

    Each partner runs to opposite side of the runway and does part of the total number of exercises. The object is to get as close to the total number as possible. Double the absolute value of the difference between assigned reps and actual reps is the penalty. And to keep anyone from just trying to do exactly half, if both partners do the exact same number, the penalty is all the reps again.

    Round 1: 50 merkins
    Round 2: 40 bbs
    Round 3: 30 burpees

    By Round 3, I think most teams had figured out what their partners were doing and so they had to do very few burpees. YHC, however, didn’t realize that his partner (Tana) was cleverly doing one more than half the reps each time. Failing to see the pattern, and instead thinking he had been doing one less each time, YHC did 16 burpees. Tana had to ask me several times if I had really done 16… also saying to me more than once “I was doing one more than half each time.” I haven’t seen someone so visibly disappointed in me since I asked my dad to order me a Frappacino.
    So we had 15 penalty burpees each. We came here to get stronger, not smarter.

    Next Thang: Partners split up, creating two teams.
    Each team is given one band and has to come up with 3 songs by that band during a short mosey with merkins.

    Winning team does 10 merkins, loser 10 burpees.
    The twist: There is a song that links both bands. If both teams choose that in their list, they avoid the penalty (10 more of each). So you have to think about the other team’s music and choices too.
    Don’t think too deeply about your PAX’s music choices though; those Peter Gabriel and Depeche Mode rabbit holes can lead you to a dark place(possibly parked out by a lake).

    First bands: Foo Fighters vs. Pink Floyd or Tom Petty
    Team 2 chose Tom Petty but did not return with “Learning to Fly.” Team 1 identified 3 Foo songs, including “Learn to Fly.”

    Smashing Pumpkins, Genesis
    Linked songs: Tonight, Tonight and Tonight Tonight Tonight

    Justin Bieber, nirvana
    Linked songs: Sorry, all apologies

    Justin Bieber, Eminem
    Linked songs: Love Yourself, Lose Yourself

    Bruce Springsteen, CCR
    Linked songs: Born to run and/or Born in USA, Born on the bayou

    Radiohead, Stone Temple Pilots
    Linked songs: Creep (I know, I’ll get you next time Left Eye)

    We all did innumerable merkins and burpees, in spite of TexicoCat bringing the Bieber knowledge.
    Next time, it will be all country garbage songs. I promise, Dox.

    SYITG,
    AB

  • Count your blessings – from Wet Tap

    1/14/25

    Keep count

    With a vacant Q sheet and interest and intrigue on the minds of the fellow PAX. YHC took the defensive move and volunteered. Fear of a musical montage of 2010 skaa or trivia pertaining to Yugoslavian folk traditions kept the brainstorming simple yet effective.

    6 of the usual TuesdayTuff PAX arrived at the Stage in standard arrival fashion. The 7th was a lively AB roaring in with all 240volts ablaze. To our amazement, a perfect park without even a dead man’s curb bump had all the signs of 20/20 vision and steady hands.

    A lone wolf emerged out of the gloom. The 8th man was fresh and had all the signs of an FNG.
    water Bottle✔️
    EarPods ✔️
    Jacket ✔️
    The PAX eagerly greeted the FNG and began the silent yet cumulative observation of a potential F3 branding.

    After a brief and effective warmarama (YHC ran a longer than usual SSH but still no SV), the PAX were ready to begin.
    Side note : As an emerging connoisseur of COUS and entire new world has been opened. Much like musical lyrics are counted for potential F3 pain, every obscurely sized and ridiculous piece of junk is a coupon. This cannot be turned off. Life will not always give you a perfect symmetrical piece of cement. Gloves will not always be available. With love and concern for my fellow PAX, YHC must and will prepare for those uncomfortable moments in life. Fail to prepare, and you prepare to fail. Woah, wait a minute. I just went dad mode. Get back on my lawn and have a beer. As for today, standard Cindy work.

    Disclaimers were spoken regarding the lack of medical knowledge and theorizing the rationales for particular F3 nomenclature. “Just do what we do, and don’t hurt yourself”

    Thang 1:

    5 burpees, take a lap
    10burpees, take a lap
    15 burpees, take a lap
    Etc

    *** Once your cadence of burpees stopped, you were out. punishment was lunge walks across the field until all were out.

    Most made it to 25 burpees. Honeysuckle is still out there…

    Thang 2:

    Same thing but WW3

    Thang 3:

    Same thing but Coupon swings

    When the dust settled there was 2 minutes left and we circled up for some MARY.

    Crunchy frogs and Freddymercs guided us home.

    COT
    Announcements and FNG naming.
    With FNG in center ring, the obvious choice, which correlated synonymously with his life and hobbies was revealed. TexacoCat was unveiled. Prayers for those in Cali and our own Dawson family.

    Tap-talk.
    This group of men continues to grow and provide support for one another in ways unknown by most. Pushing ourselves past comfortable and learning to thrive in the uncomfortable has become commonplace. Each PAX has their own strength and weakness, but cumulatively we are stronger than most. This strength far exceeds physicality. We are all stronger in life.

    SYITG

  • What’s Cooler than being Cool? – from America’s Best

    YHC had originally planned a totally different beatdown, but upon seeing the sub-freezing temperatures predicted, changed to a beatdown that would keep all body parts moving throughout the morning.

    YHC pulled into the Frozen Tuesday Tundra with minutes to spare to find a larger than expected PAX assembled and ready to get warm.

    Warmarama (augmented to keep all limbs moving):
    SSH
    Tie Fighters
    Imperial Walkers
    Self Love+Butt kicks (deemed “Butt Love” by Popeye)
    Windmills
    Mountain climbers (Paradox starts to stand up)
    Shoulder Taps (Paradox starts to stand up)
    Peter Parkers (Paradox stays put, so back on our feet)

    Quick mosey around what may someday be a neighborhood.

    Music selection today was all about the Fahrenheits, and began with “Frozen Heart” from The Girl Dad Earworm album. Goose said something vaguely offensive like “Is this the dwarves from Lord of the Rings?” It was like a Basketball Jones slur but for the Sami mountain people. From there the music warmed to “She’s so Cold” which is basically an exercise in Mick Jagger trying to think of cold things that also rhyme with the word “cold.” (Near misses: “tombstone,” ice-cream cone.”) Only warm summertime songs from there on out to keep us mentally warm.

    We arrived back at the flags for a Dora that would ensure we would be constantly moving to maintain warmth.

    Partner 1 starts on 50 Burpees while partner 2 MOT is The Nur (mosey back).

    Followed by 100 goblet squat curls, MOT Flying Nun (mosey back).

    Then 200 Bobby Hurleys, MOT Bear Crawl (mosey back). When we were beginning this portion, Valve just laughed and said “leg day, huh?”

    (Aside: If you have not ever partnered up with Safety Valve, I highly recommend it. The more difficult the beatdown becomes, the bigger his smile gets. The grin is not exactly maniacal, but it’s also not comforting. I’m not sure if its origin is the pain he felt or the pain he saw on my face. Either way, this man eats pain for breakfast. )

    Next we moved up to the stage for 100 Mike Tyson Merkins whilst the partner ran a lap.

    At this point, YHC thought he saw that we had only 5 minutes left, so we moved down to run in place while listening to the FOTC Classic “Mutha’uckas”. YHC quickly fabricated something about F3 needing all 3 F’s, and so each time we heard a word missing a letter “F” we would Burpee. There were a lot of missing F’s. The chatter about this song being where 75% of YJ’s vocabulary comes from drowned out the song.

    Now somehow (either due to time dilation or presbyopia) there were 10 minutes left, so YHC quickly added a second Conchords song “Hurt Feelings.” The PAX held plank and merkined with each “hurt.” “Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?”

    Now that we had about 6 minutes left, we had just enough time for some Mary. Goose surprised everyone by not calling Dr. W’s and YHC takes that as a compliment as a sign of a challenging beatdown. Popeye led us in fire hydrants, and YHC accidently did alternating legs, which I do not recommend unless you are already in the market for new kneecaps. YHC then offered Freddy Mercs, and Enron gifted us penguins. I can’t remember too much more, other than Tana trying to run out the clock with 6” until everyone dropped. But when the Q is done, the exercise moves on to the next man. It’s always that New Year’s Resolution Guy who shows up multiple weeks and then struts around like he owns the Planet Fitness.

    YHC was impressed by the fortitude of all you men who braved the frozen tundra to make it out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Year in Review 2024: The Ghost of Backblast Past – from Paradox

    Whether you call it Twixmas, Feral Week, or the official week of the automated email , the window of December 25th-January 1 is a great period for quality family time , limited use of pants, and for ignoring nutritional facts. (Even if your Payday has 7g of protein).

    Naturally paired with this season is a look back on the good, bad and ugly of your previous year. And that’s where we’ll start as YHC also needs to issue this backblast as a mea culpa for several missed blasts through the year. Swept up in the undertow of work and diapers were more than a few half written works that just didn’t seem to have enough bowel movements in the day to finish.

    Of course I could pile the excuses higher than the pampers tower in YHCs garage but the burden remains and if the men of F3 thib have taught me anything then it’s how to get back up when the tubs of life truly starts thumping you down. Ergo, we must trudge forth! Like Pliny the Younger providing the only account of Vesuvius, who would tell ABs grandkids about the Christmas miracle ?
    Or like Aristodemus, spared from the final battle of Thermopylae to document those slain, someone must record the heroes of Danger Valve Mondays. Concordantly, this document is my 2024 last stand. To prevail against the waves of procrastination, flares of irritable bowels and all other reasons YHCs blasts went to Apple notes purgatory this year.

    Objectives for this beatdown/blast were ambitious. YHC needed to recognize a tremendous year from our pax and highlight a few glossed over diamonds in the tuff, and to do it all in one big greasy beatdown/blast omelette. You won’t even need mushrooms and salsa to stomach this egg vehicle Senor Mitchell. This behemoth is chocked full of the events, schisms, airport flatulence, franchises, hoosker do’s, hoosker don’ts , 17 different light rock alternatives, wearables, whistling kitty chasers and all of those secret sauces of 2024 F3 Thib that make this group of uncultured hooligans my valued brothers.

    Duke!!
    It’s the Year in Review !!
    Roll that beautiful footage pup.

    10 Tuesday Tuffians were mostly assembled as YHC arrived in a thicc gloom with near perfect beatdown weather. Cool enough for sans mosquitoes but not so chilly that a spray paint crop top would make you uncomfortable ya know, and YHC did know.

    Standard issue warmups with the ever growing detestable schism of slow knee heretics blatantly disregarding the call for “high knees” and instead doing the invasive species “slow high knees”. Like a useless pond grass the south port variant continues its spread, choking the life from more useful warms ups in our precious ecosystem. It’s a slippery slope to power walking fellas, it’s all I’m trying to say. Next it’s “there’s no jump on the burpee” then “Shakira shimmies” for merkins. Before long, once the estrogen levels get high enough, we’ll have a bear problem….(see anchorman et al 2004) …(and look this beatdown needed atleast one bah humbug or I couldn’t maintain the Dickens vibe ok)

    YHC persevered through the mutiny and Wet Tap reduced the tension by reminiscing of misspent youth in Lafayette night clubs. We put a Bumper Mosey bow on it and it was show time.

    YHC wanted to recap the year and one theme seemed recurrent and prominent in my reflections on 2024. Through the joys, sorrows, and everyday grind, in the ups and downs of family life , the sick 2.0s, the injuries , the beauty of new life and pain of lost loved ones. In all those things, God was, is and wants to be truly with us.

    YHC will now attempt to go full Jacob Marley as we fly through 2024 and see the beatdowns of past, present and future.

    In January God was with us in the known and unknown.

    On 1/7/24 Americas Best sparked a trivia revolution with his bd “everybody’s an expert”. YHC remembers running rich man’s loop as he asked us a deep question: “what is one category we know better than the rest”. YHC thought it was a prank and initially answered something like “statefair corndogs” only to realize the remaining pax all gave real heartfelt answers. Finally Cardinal, in his wisdom, suggested a chance I might know antibiotics. How thoughtful.
    When we returned to the stage AB weaponized our strengths (and Pride) against us to reinforce a very cool fact. We all kinda know 1-2 things really well but clearly there’s a vast ocean of facts out there we can humbly claim ignorance to and enjoy the process of learning.

    So to honor this amazing gift we unveiled …
    Rapid Fire AB trivia

    Correct – 7 coupon plank jacks
    Incorrect 7 coupon merks

    #1
    If yogurt and sweet potato had a baby they might produce ABs favorite traditional Polynesian food made from the Taro root.
    (Poi)

    Honeysuckle remembered the runny 3 finger poi as his favorite blend.

    #

    2ABs least favorite breakfast food- (omelette)

    Pope with the immediate answer.

    #3
    When AB first moved to Thibodaux his first job as an optometrist made him smell like fresh Tires. Where was that job? (Sam’s Club)

    Goose struggled with this one a bit but battled to produce Walmart which YHC awarded half credit. This is a great Goosian trait we see on display many beatdowns, if he doesn’t immediately have an answer then a rabid bloodhound is unleashed in his brain searching accurate guesses. Something’s very right with his medulla oblongata.

    #4
    AB has a dog named after the main character in this 1994 classic movie. (Shawshank redemption- Andy Dufrene)

    The group produced both Shawshank and Dufrene.

    Now it was only fair by the writ of habeas corpus that AB get a swing at the pax during his own trial so YHC prepped him the night before to bring a fast ball.

    The Pax produced some fine “Most common wrongs” but could not land on “Time Dilation” as the answer. Great teaser trailer for the 2025 Interstellar beatdown.

    Grand Finale

    On a special night during ABs childhood , in the room he shared with his brother Jeff , AB released flatus so vile that Jeff had to leave the room. When he returned the next morning somehow the smell had gotten much worse. This is event is now known as what?
    (The Christmas miracle)

    Again Goose was flexing his Dawkins trophy by guessing Napalm. Although it was incorrect, I hereby place it #2 on the list of potential FNG names. (Just behind Texaco Cat of course)

    Shoutout to This first hand account added by none other than Jeff Mitchell, who claims his smell never fully recovered.

    AB thank you for the gift of trivia this year. We are proud to call you our Llama Mama.

    In February God was with us on the run.

    2/17/24
    “It’s Only A Mile”

    We recognized two major memories from this awesome day and what is hoped to be a Thibodaux staple event.

    The first was Coach Goose. Anyone who ran more than a lap that day was aided by the one part field general/one part friend that provided stalwart support until the end.
    We also unknowingly picked up our Rookie of the Year, White Meat.

    Maybe it was the movie references or perhaps the pastalaya but he was there at the stage the following Monday rattling off Big Lebowski quotes like a pax veteran. We missed the mark on not naming this man Double Toilet but it’s been great getting to know the Meat and see him rapidly improve.

    Run lap- 10 Goosies
    Run Back 20 picklePounders

    Thank you Goose for your leadership and thank you White meat for courage to try something new.

    In March God was with us building our spiritual foundation brick by brick .

    3/21/24 Popeye VQ

    YHC would be flat out lying if I told you I wasn’t atleast a bit scared/concerned at what a Popeye Q might be. And based on the absolute silence of this usually chattering group during the beginning of the VQ some others were curious where the pain would come from as well. We stayed off his grass and all survived that day and ever since he has set the tone yielding his equally effective weapons of bricks and Yacht Rocks.

    YHC found a song that was Yacht Rockish and represented Pops previous solo brick routine.

    Coupon skips on our mystery song.

    “All by myself “ equals burpee

    One minute off per answer was the plan but these were fairly difficult and YHCs twang did not help a thorough explanation.

    Answers :

    – “ALL by myself “
    – Artist – Eric Carmen
    – other biggest hit song was “hungry eyes” featured in mutiple commercials to represent lusting after foods
    – What Band did he leave: The raspberries
    – Raspberry hit song was “Go all the away” – (hint: on guardians of galaxy soundtrack)

    Thank you Pop for the tough love and for the Sailing lessons.

    In April God was with us as we crank the intensity and carrying our burdens.

    Yankee Jeaux has a well established resume of mega holiday beatdowns that many broadway production companies would envy. Yet he continued to push the bar higher with this Holy Week Stations of the Cross bd. It had the perfect blend of physical demand, silent reflection and opportunity for unity in suffering.

    Thank you YJ, we secretly love your monologues.

    Rucking also exploded onto the F3 Thib scene in the spring of ‘24 so we honored the Co-founders of Warrior Wednesday -Smooth and Honeysuckle. ( and a Tidy Whitey shoutout). These pax showed Great initiative to start and maintain a change of pace on Wednesdays. The ruck/run allows for open conversations and a simple format. Just ask Smooth all you need is a Jansport and a few hammers.

    Both of these pax are connoisseurs of fine country so YHC dialed up ole King George.

    “Carrying your love with me”
    Coupon Step ups

    A classic Smooth “Okay” was the general sentiment regarding coupon step ups.

    Thank you HoneySuckle for your consistency, quality franchise Beatledowns and your God gifted infinity lungs

    Thank you Smooth for cutting edge Maul/tire beatdowns and for always embracing a heavy load with a laugh and an “okay”

    In May God was with us during a challenge.

    This May we had a few wrinkles added to the annual May challenge . Some fasting , mutiple extra point grab opportunities and 3am -6 am 10 mile ruck Ruck that launched 1000 wife complaint’s. It led to some awesomely weird conversations and some revelations about valves call schedule.

    To honor the super ruck and the Dawson 2.0s leading a Weird Al resurgence YHC found a little “YODA” .

    Coup Calf raise on song
    Curls on YODA

    Thanks to Ronnie for giving me a template to ask my M about a middle of the night ruck. (It didn’t help)

    In June God was with us to deal with transitions.

    This one needs little introduction.
    Mr Summerwind expressed all my feelings completely.

    Cardinal to MC
    “80 miles to Santa Fe”

    Parked – Squat
    Lake- Bonnie Blair
    Santa Fe – SSH

    We miss ya Cardinal.
    Beatdown field trip in 2025- it’s happening. Thanks for encouraging the deeper questions and being a rock in our community.

    In July God was with us to move heavy things.

    Wet Tap continued to carve his niche as our Pax premier expert in Coupons of unusual size (COUS). directly or indirectly introducing Black Betty and Tiny this year we learned to fear seeing the high country back into a lot with no cinders in sight.

    Song “Black Betty” by Ram Jam
    We did OHP on Black Betty and Bama Lam

    Thank you Tap, for seeing coupons everywhere you look.

    Mid Year Intermission Song:
    SSHs while YHC highlighted Lil Cuz’s innate ability to add valuable commentary on all things. Everyone sharpens iron in their own way and for Cuz it’s letting you know your beatdown monologue made him uncomfortable and that the veggie tray could use ranch.

    Thank you Cuz for Keeping the bar high. If your brothers aren’t first, your last. Some pax whispers about a 2025 Earl Dibbles bd?!

    In August, God was with us in the Danger.

    The character arc of Safety Valve from friendly neighbor to Monday Supervillain has been nothing short of amazing. To sum it up best I pulled the YELP reviews from the pax on Mondays after a standard valve bd:

    Popeye: Is Valve okay?

    White Meat: I’m hurting Linda.

    Goose: Does his insurance cover therapy? Asking for a friend.

    Pope: I feel a new sensation of being short of breath.

    Popeye: seriously, he ok?

    …it goes on like that for a few pages.

    To honor our much loved merkin maniac YHC called in some classic Kenny Loggins.
    Highway to the Danger Valve
    IW -Song
    Double Merkin Burpee on Danger Zone.

    Thanks for never letting off the gas Valveline.
    I like the way you hurt a man.

    In September God was with us to sharpen Iron.

    Remind me again, Whose idea was Iron PAX plus BK 500 in the same month?! We must have been really high on Jersey Mikes that day.

    As it happened, September 2024 at F3 Thibodaux was a minefield of some of the most difficult beatdowns we’ve ever attempted. It seems the brain trust up in Greenwood got together this year and decided there was a nationwide deficit in thrusters and burpees. This led to several snot woggle Saturdays where the legs were weakened but the shared suffering was stronger than ever.

    To cap off the month we pivoted our annual SV500 into a fall friendly event and this year supported the nonprofit Brothers Keeper. Goose kept tradition by building a ridiculous but well thought out 20 station course that was much more defensible against questionable form. Inch worm merkins and the station 1 Dora still keep pax in cold sweats.

    The dark horse team of Valve and Cardinal , now simply known as Second Collection, won the overall category and we’re still investigating that “anonymous” benefactor.

    Song:
    GreenDay
    “Wake me up when September Ends “

    On your 6 Hold coupon in press position.
    Alt between flutter kicks , heels to heaven , leg raises.
    WW3 sit-ups on “September”

    Thanks to all who made the BK500 a great success.

    In October/November God was with us to converge with our fellow brothers and to celebrate several milestones.
    Our Bayou pax of 4 years , Goose with a 5 year and the NOLA region hit the 10 year mark!

    These milestones could only be recognized by The GOOSELIZER. (As designed and led by Goose on the spot at Convergence)
    A deconstructed SSH montage with plank jacks in between. It’s a thing of synchronized beauty.

    Thanks to our NOLA brothers for continued support.

    And finally we adjusted our reverse time dilators as we arrived back at December safely at our cozy stage.

    December brings the season of Paxmas beatdowns as we prepare the way together. We had to adjust our Christmas carol expectations and even saw an exposed coca Cola Santa for the fraud he is. Chests and Butts were roasted on an open fire as ThighKowsky made a final bow. We saw a new grinch bring the Whoville pain and we were yearning for a YJ soliloquy. All this bringing us to an open field, a sky full of stars and vintage Goosing complete with 9000 pancakes plus a question :“Could we allow God to be bigger than us ?”

    Song : God is with Us
    Artist: For King and Country
    -Coupon High Knees
    -Thrusters on God is with Us

    The last counting and naming of 2024 then in another slightly less smelly miracle YHC gifted the Push-up Pimp to Valve.
    Great year of growth brother.

    Announcements
    -Get on Da Q Sheet
    -Feb 8 It’s only a Mile
    -White Mystery Meat Q (TBD)

    Prayers
    – winter illness’s
    – Holiday anxieties

    Thank you pax for these gifts and of the opportunity to lead and share together in all things that God provided in 2024.

    I’ll wrap us up with a little sprinkle of what Mr. Clive Staples had to say on this matter and as my own challenge for 2025.

    “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

    I pray we can see all things in this new year with the Light He provides.

    God is with us.

    SYITG
    Dox