F3 New Orleans

Tag: wingless Darkwing Duck

  • Moby is back to running!! – from Jose10k

    Ah yes, another fine gathering of elite athletes (and their AARP sponsors) at the peak of the A1C—where the air is crisp, the sweat is questionable, and the soundtrack is straight from your uncle’s favorite road trip mixtape. And yes Cowbell, most of my songs repeat. It’s the Pandora algorithm that suits me. I can’t help it if great music comes out of my hip pocket. A few usuals weren’t in attendance. We were without Fletch, BBW, and Darkwing. Surprising because the temperature was above the required 60 degrees for Darkwing to attend. Who knows?

    This morning, a young stallion (that’s me) led a herd of silver foxes in a ritual of pain, otherwise known as “11s.” After a five-minute warm-up (which for some was just mentally preparing to move), the squad got down to business. Merkins at the top of the ramp? No problem. Copperhead Squats at the bottom? Sure, as long as no one’s knees filed a formal complaint. It was how we travelled back and forth was the interesting aspect. Introducing the ramp games:—a chaotic display of movement variety that could only be described as “fitness meets interpretive dance.” Sprints turned into backwards jogs, which morphed into side shuffles, then into karaoke steps (though some of us just looked like we were dodging bees). Forward lunges, reverse lunges, duck walks—basically, a leg day so brutal that tomorrow’s stairs will require a life alert button.

    Just when we thought survival was near, it was time for a stair sprint, calf raises (because why not), and a ten-minute Mary session that made abs scream for mercy.

    In the end, sweat was shed, egos were bruised, and somewhere, a classic rock legend shed a single tear of approval. See you all next time… if we can still walk. Two weeks from now, April 11th, Moby, the eldest of our group turns 75, and he has promised to bring the pain. Come out and pay your respects and be impressed with this young lads intensity.

  • Financial Literacy – from Jose10k

    Moby, a 75-year-old legend who claims he once out-sprinted a bill collector, and Jose10k , a young guy who thinks “compound interest” is a gym move, squared off in a workout that was equal parts sweat and financial reality check.

    The session kicked off with burpees—because, just like credit card interest, they compound quickly and make life miserable when ignored. Jose half-heartedly flopped through them, much like someone making minimum payments on a maxed-out credit card. Meanwhile, Moby, fueled by decades of discipline (and probably black coffee), executed each one with the precision of a man who never paid a cent in overdraft fees.

    Next up: core squats. “Think of this as your savings account,” Moby wheezed between reps. “The stronger your foundation, the less likely you are to collapse under debt.” Jose nodded, then immediately wobbled under the weight—just like someone living paycheck to paycheck with no emergency fund.

    Sprints followed, symbolizing the financial journey of many athletes who go from millions to bankruptcy faster than Jose’s short-lived attempt at working hard. “Basketball players sign a $50 million contract and end up broke because they don’t understand debt-to-income ratio,” Moby barked as Jose gasped for air. “You know what happens when you take out a loan with no plan to pay it back? Declines. Just like this incline sprint you’re struggling up.”

    Jose groaned but managed to stumble to the top. “But what if you’re not college-bound?” he asked, doubling over.

    Moby chuckled. “Then you learn skills, kid. Not everyone needs a degree, but everyone needs a way to earn money. You think the guy who built this gym needed calculus? No, he needed to know about supply, demand, and not blowing his paycheck on things that lose value faster than your stamina.”

    By the time they wrapped up, Jose was sprawled out like a busted investment portfolio. Moby patted him on the back. “Remember, kid—money and muscles work the same way. Put in the effort, stay consistent, and don’t expect overnight results. Otherwise, you’ll end up weak… and broke.”

    With that, Moby walked off, he had given all of his Financial Literacy wisdom he could share. Jose10k could only try to apply his lessons. But he thought to himself, what about Darkwing, Fletch, B.B.Q., and Einstein? Shouldn’t they know the truth?