F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Purple Gallinule – from Heisenberg

    It was a glorious day at the Renaissance AO in New Orleans on April 29, 2025. Armed with a playlist inspired by Bert Kaempfert’s Swinging Safari, my cell phone, and my trusty McLaren-inspired Bluetooth speaker, I set off to lead the PAX through an unforgettable workout.
    Before we began, Hokie had given me a heads-up that we’d potentially have two FNGs (Friendly New Guys) and a down range PAX named Trager from the Carolinas. With this in mind, I concocted a well-thought-out Q, despite lacking my usual collection of heavy objects. After some quick disclosures, we got down to business.
    We kicked things off with some good ol’ IC Imperial Walkers x 25, followed by Abe Vigodas x 10, Grass Grabbers x 10, Side Straddle Hops x 31, Bat Wings, and finally, Deep Sea Divers. Starting at the top of NOMA, we did 10 shoulder taps and descended down each step until we reached 1. I may have miscounted a few times, but the PAX, as always, were helpful.
    Next, we moseyed to the wooden bridge for LL Step-ups x 25, Dips (I lost count, but I felt like we missed one), and RL Step-ups x 25. Then, we moseyed to the Singing Oak for a Ring of Fire with Al Gore holds and squats. I completely botched the example count, but by round three, we had it down.
    Our next stop was the waterfall gazebo for 1 dip. I hadn’t worked out at this spot before, but it had a nice view, albeit a bit moist. Then we did some running: High Knees and Butt Kicks to the golden balloon and back. I’m not sure where the mylar (illegal) balloon came from, but we repurposed it as a marker for our sprints. We did OYO five rounds of 75% sprints out and jogged back. Now off to the mini band stand.
    Here, we tackled Buffalo Legs/Bat Legs (still not sure what to call it), with six leg exercises on each side. The PAX loved (or loathed) it, and it was almost guaranteed to be felt in a day or so. Our next stop was the dock by the Swan Boats for some Jack Webb up to 5, followed by a mosey to the side of NOMA for some calf raises.
    Our final mosey took us to the back of the museum, where we found a dead Purple Gallinule (look it up). We did three Sunday Mornings led by Mayhem, then headed back to the flag for some Mary. The workout concluded with Flutter Kicks and five burpees OYO.
    Afterward, we circled up for the COT. On our way out I saw, Wapner (73 Respect, Respect, Respect) was evidently unsatisfied with the workout and added some jump ropes and more merkins. Mayhem added some additional running. All in all, it was a fantastic morning of fitness, fellowship, and fun.
    Aye!

  • High IMPACT(FUL) Men – from Bushwacker

    If you’ve ever posted at the Marsh in the Monday gloom, you know that it’s like a Chris Nolan Batman movie, with shadows everywhere and just enough lighting to barely make out the caped crusader as he lurks. YHC saw 3 HIM scurrying about on the basketball court, one picking up trash (obviously Pik), one with a silver glint of light reflecting off his shimmering sweaty bare chest (clearly Hammer), and one wearing what appeared to be a soaking salmon-colored shirt with an attempt at slicked back hair (the shirt was pink and it was Jose). While I scanned the darkness hoping to find my knight in shining armor, Coachella, it was in fact Jose that I actually had my sights set on. I approached, gave a bow, and bestowed upon him the one thing he clearly does not have in his Mary Poppins-mobile…
    And as we were preparing to begin the beat down in earnest, we heard hoof beats clopping down Livingston with Coachella arriving on his noble steed, bedraggled yet committed!

    WARMORAMA

    Wishing to be a good steward of the PAX’s time, QIC hit ’em with a quick SSH X25 IC and then it was off to the races!

    THANG

    So recently there’s been some mumblechatter about the “Impactfulness” of beatdowns by certain PAX who like to Shoot things, as well as other PAX who like to edit things. YHC felt drawn the retort to such fellows with his idea of an Impactful beatdown. The formula goes something like this: Take one of the most excruciating experiences at the Marsh, have a conversation with ChatGPT, and VOILA!

    We started with a Merkin Ladder. Lining up at one end of the court 2 Merkins, Bear Crawl to other end, 2 Squats, run back. Then 4 Merkins/Squats, 6, 8, 10

    We then proceeded to the intersection for a little EMOM! 5 Rounds of 10 reps every minute on the minute, followed by a run to Marigny and back.
    1. Merkins/Squats
    2. Alternating Lunges (1/1)/Hand Release Merkins

    At this point, QIC felt he may have oversold the Impactfulness of his beatdown, glancng Waterpik seeming to intensify to modify. But, like Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, you had to let the masterpiece build to its crescendo!

    3. Jump Squats/ Hip Slaps (1/1)
    4. BURPEES

    The sweat-soaked and gasping PAX returned from the final run to circle up at center court for…

    MARY

    IC x20 Flutter Kicks, Hammers
    OYO 100 100s
    1minute 30 second Plank

    COT

    QIC felt that he had put in the work, and judging by Hammer and Coachellas demeanor, they had too. But when Mr. Squat-to-the Ground Waterpik said, “Whew that was a good one!” I knew I had accomplished the impactful beatdown I had set out to deliver. It’s too bad some people were off on luxury vacations or whining about Jazz Festing all day, but those who were there knew they had gotten their money’s worth…F1, F2, AND F3!

    Counted, named and YHC prayed us out with the ever-important theme of gratitude. And I and very grateful for all of you guys and the impact you’ve had on my life.

    SYITG

  • Life is a Grind @ the Mothership – from Triple Shift

    “Life is a grind” is an informal expression meaning that life can be difficult, routine, and tiring. It suggests that much of daily living involves hard, often monotonous work or tasks that can be emotionally or physically draining.

    Anyone that knows what I’ve been through the past year or so understands that phrase. I’ve prayed that this cup would pass but the good Lord doesn’t see fit that it passes anytime soon. So, the next best option is for me to get stronger. With that in mind, I get to work with 16 other pax members as they push me to get better.

    Warmarama – Head to the Peristyle for Slow (sometimes low) cadence exercises.
    10 LSS, 10 Tie Fighters (front and back) 10 Merkins, 10 Peter Parkers, 10 Shoulder Taps, 10 Floyd Mayweathers IC. Finished with 15 burpees IC (loved the audible grown when I hit ten with no voice inflection).
    The Thang 1 – Genuflect on the great lawn up to 10 genuflects / 20 lunges. Reverse plank for the 6.
    The Thang 2 – Run to the Children’s Museum and partner up for a modified dora with coupons. 50 blockees and 100 straight leg deadlifts while the partner runs up the ramp and does a pull up on the metal rails overhead and head back.
    The Thang 3 – Run to the baby foundry to perform 60 seconds (10 seconds on and 20 seconds off) of flexed arm hang while the other pax members held an Al Gore.

    Time is running out so we Indian walk while the last pax member sprints to the front and reach the flag at 7:31 am.

    Countoff, Namerarama, and COT – Welcomed FNG Nightingale (ICU nurse).

  • Naanu, Naanu – from Russo

    Not overly complicated today, as Pelican made his way back from Grizzly Adam’s cabin building territory, Coachella joined in for his third post of the week (YHC is very proud of his commitment, and am glad he’s become a regular since last year), and we had a Houston DR visitor in SlumLord, albeit a late arriver since he couldn’t find the crew at the A1C. We did give him the secret password of “Third Floor” so I hope he makes his way back soon.

    Warmup (all 10x)
    – arm circles
    – High knees
    – SSHs
    – Torso twists
    – Imperial walkers
    – Self love

    Thang
    Tabata (40 seconds on, 20 off) – alternating between benches and stage – 2 rounds at bench, 1 at the stage

    Benches
    Freak Nastys
    Step ups
    Bulgarian Split Squats
    Urkins

    Stage
    Merkins
    Flutter kicks
    Monkey humpers
    LBCs
    Plank jacks
    Squats
    Penguins
    Mountain climbers
    Lunges
    Gas pumps
    Cherry pickers
    Crunchy frogs
    Shroulder taps

    No Mary to speak of, but we did of course wrap with a circle, announcements, and prayer.

    Thank you gents for joining / reading. SYITG

  • I love the 80s – from Jose10k

    80s had the greatest entertainment

    YHC made his long-awaited return to the A1C after a tropical “vacation” that was equal parts Club Med and Gilligan’s Island, with a wardrobe sponsored by TSA incompetence. I arrived early because as usual, I couldn’t sleep. I picked 80s music on my Pandora, desperately trying to change up my playlist to appease Cowbell. I started thinking of all the excellent 80s movies: The Terminator, Flashdance, Weird Science, Maximum Overdrive, Tango and Cash, The Princess Bride, and The Last Dragon. Feel free to add your favorite in the comments, I can’t wait to see Hammer’s favorites. Anyways, I was happy to be back at the A1C. Don’t get me wrong, the Mandeville AOs are cool—kind of like a John Hughes movie where everyone is polite but the A1C? That’s pure RoadHouse—gritty, shirtless, and occasionally bloody. If you think about it though, Mandeville has its own 80s movie stars:
    Steve-Michael J Fox- come on, he’s definitely Marty McFly or Alex P. Keaton
    Russo-Robin Williams- He’s Mork mainly due to the excess hair or Roddy Pipper as Nada in They Live
    Shooter-Jesse the Body Ventura as Blain in the Predator- “I ain’t got time to bleed”
    Bushwacker-John Ritter as Jack Tripper in Threes Company

    Any who, I could continue, but I need to write this back blast….

    My boy Moby, youthful as ever, joined me in our ritual prethang laps. Then Darkwing swooped in, looking like he just stepped off the set of Batman, and it was time to party.

    Warm-ups kicked off while I regaled the crew with the highlight reel from my Caribbean adventure: Luggage: lost somewhere between Miami and “whoops. Swimwear: makeshift combo of sports bra and gym shorts which reminded me of Flashdance lol. Snorkeling with octopi and tropical fish gave off “The Abyss” type of vibe. Underwater sculptures and plenty of Caribbean rum.

    Then came the Ladder of Fun
    10 Sumo Squats – Drop it low like you’re trying to impress Prince in 1984. Sprint down the stairs and up the ramps like you’re chasing after One Eyed Willy’s treasure while listening to Cindy Lauper. Back at the top add 10 Lunges (2 is 1) – Richard Simmons would be proud of us so far, God rest his soul. Run again. Add 10 Monkey Humpers – Do y’all remember that goofy movie: Howard the Duck. Run Again. Add 10 Dirkins – Pushups, but make it Miami Vice—cool, cocky, and boat shoes with no socks, blazers with the arms rolled up. Run again. Add 10 Freak Nasties. Run again. Finish with 10 Burpees
    COT with intentions for Darkwings mother and mother in law. The Zoorich classic is tomorrow. Time for some pain and frisbee golf.

    “Pain fades, glory lasts, and monkey humpers are forever – Sir Richard Simmons

  • Mayhem Merkins Abound at Okwata – from Fracsac

    YHC signed up to Q at Okwata since the attendance has been strong. 10 others posted confirming the new trend, so YHC knew he had to deliver.

    Disclaimer given followed by a mosey to the Okwata sign for a warmup.

    Mosey to Mardi Gras fountain for double shots with Jack Webb at the barre. Speaking of which, where is surge??

    Mosey to the corner of Canal for 4 corners BLIMPS with Mayhem merkins sprinkled in.

    Mosey to House of pain for stations with pull ups.

    Burpee penalties for the young pax not knowing Cheap Trick.

    Back to the flag

    COT

    Honored to lead this awesome group of men!

    SYITG

  • Lo and behold-6 full-grown knaves, wll past the age of wisdom, were seen galloping through the ancient streets of Olde Mandeville – from Waterpik

    Hear ye, hear ye! A most noble and mildly ridiculous account of this morn’s Thursday gathering of the F3 fellowship:

    Upon the dawning of the day, ‘twas declared with great fervour that the F must needs be restored unto our Thursday toil — for lo, ‘tis not merely a letter, but a spirit, a flame, a fire! Sir Jose10k, in an act of alchemical wit, didst attempt to divine the sacred algorithm by which Sir Cowbell arrives exactly two minutes tardy to each summons. Two minutes? Verily, the crowd did wonder what other feats he performeth in such swift time…

    The gallant gazelles did leap forth along their usual path, their strides light and graceful. Meanwhile, the Clydesdales, noble of heart and heavy of hoof, did follow apace, conversing of many a deep matter: the fickle nature of diet, the perils of teenagers, the enchantments of prom, and the heartbreaks of love long lost.

    And lo! Upon the return to the realm of swings and monkey bars, there stood the mighty Waterpik, who smited the brethren with feats of strength and calisthenics most cruel. None could match his vigour, though many did try, and all did suffer with great camaraderie.

    Thus concludes the tale of six buffoons, bringing both glory and distress to the cobblestones of Olde Mandeville. They ended the morn, sweaty and sore, yet richer in tales and tighter of hamstring. Long live the fellowship of F3!

    Fin.

    Now, let me explain this. I am in the middle of administering the English portion of the state test. Upon finishing the test, all of my students are talking in English accents. I had to inquire why, and apparently one of the questions involved the Renaissance Perfect, now I get to do the thing that I absolutely love to do. I get to tap into my students’ creativity and give them a shared google document. The topic: early morning run with exercises at the playground at the end. The theme: old English. And bam, this is what they come up with. I did add a little flare to it: sorry Cowbell. I hope y’all enjoyed it.

  • Gorilla complex – from Fletch

    Having signed up last minute this morning I decided to rinse and repeat one of Shooters workouts.
    Warmup: 10IC Arm circles, forward and back, Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Toe Touches, Windmills and SSH.
    Thang: Pax moseyed to the rock pile and picked up coupons and continued on to the side of the courthouse. Gorilla complex is 8 rep’s of curls, kettle swings, presses and merkins. Mosey down the greenway and do 8 monkey humpers. R and R for 8 sets. Completing this we returned the coupons and did 20IC SSH’s. Moseyed back to the Gipper and did a round robin of Mary till time was up. Mobydick prayed us out. Always grateful to be a part of this group.

  • Running in the Muggies – from Rudy

    Summer is here. And with it, the muggies. So 8 PAX ran and walked and sweated.

    COT: Saban saving the day. Seriously. Great work Saban, and thank you for being willing to step up for a stranger when she needed that help. Great example for all of us to strive for.

  • Stations of the Cross – from Rudy

    My typical Good Friday workout – stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The muggies are back. As are the pricklies. Which would add to the pains of the PAX. 8 PAX joined, including Chips! Great to have you back in the gloom, good friend!

    A quick warmup, then we’ll visit 14 stations. Each station is 3 minutes total: 90 second exercise, then a lunge walk about 30 yards (taking 60-75 seconds), then a rest until the next station.

    After the 4th station, we mixed in the KoT Sled – one PAX would pull that while lunge walking, rotating it amongst the PAX.

    Station 1: Jesus sentenced to death: Peter Parker Peters (and our first taste of the pricklies)
    Station 2: Jesus takes up his cross: Merkins
    Station 3: Jesus falls the first time: Burpees (falling but get back up)
    Station 4: Jesus meets his mother: Big Boy Situps (some Mary)
    Station 5: Simon Takes up the cross with Jesus: Low Slow Squats (this isn’t a race). And its a break from the pricklies
    Station 6: Veronica wipes His face: V-Ups
    Station 7: Jesus falls the 2nd time: Burpees
    Station 8: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem: Hello Dolly
    Station 9: Jesus falls the 3rd time: Burpees
    Station 10: Jesus Stripped of his cloths: Jump Squats
    Station 11: Jesus is Nailed to the Cross: T-Merkins
    Station 12: Jesus dies on the Cross: Genuflects
    Station 13: Jesus taken down from the cross: Carolina Dry Docks
    Station 14: Jesus laid in the tomb: Elbow Plank

    Back to the flag for COT and prayers, especially thanksgiving for continued recovery of Chips.