F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Trick and Treat at the Renni – from Fracsac

    5 Pax at the Renaissance for a Halloween themed fun fest. YHC arrived early to set up. As the Pax arrived in the cool 57 degrees low humidity gloom, they were greeted by a T-Rex. You may be thinking prehistoric meat eater T-Rex, but nay, this was the lovable inflatable T-Rex that was far closer to the likes of Barney, just not as purple.
    As YHC looked closer in the gloom, he noticed a luchador Heisenberg lurking in the shadows quietly knocking out 8 count Body builders. Surge, Triple Shift and Catfish rounded out the 5.

    After giving a brief disclaimer, YHC heard the Pax ask how the Q intended to lead a beat down wearing an inflatable party favor. After a short wrestle with said inflatable, YHC managed to remove it at which time the Pax were amazed at what they saw! Underneath that lovable bag of hot air was Kylo Q, the Dark Jedi.

    Face the bacon for the warmup. Attend the Renaissance and you’ll understand….

    We did warmup stuff, then YHC asked what Halloween was all about? Trick or Treat of course!

    The Thang

    YHC had a trick bag and two treat bags. Picking up the trick bag, as tricks always come first, a pax was asked to pull from it. First draw was:

    Candy Corn Run – People’s Run with last man dropping for 3 burpees and sprint to front. Go around NOMA until all pax get a turn.

    Second draw:

    Ghost bustin’ – Played the Ghost Busters song where the pax did a burpee every time “Ghost Busters” was said, and plank jacks during the “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” part.

    Third Draw – Jack o lantern Web. Ok, so it’s a Jack Webb. To enter the psychological thriller territory, we passed up 10 and did 11 and 22.

    Now onto the Treats! Pax chose a treat bag. First bag was a soccer ball. Head to field where cones are set up. Since Triple Shift took a pumpkin to the face at El Diablo, YHC decided to remove kicking from this game. It was more ultimate frisbee rules with a soccer ball. Dropping the ball or scoring results in 3 x 8 count Body builders.

    Onto the next treat bag! A football! Two hand touch with 4 downs to get to end zone. Rushing the QB allowed after count to 5. Both teams scored so more 8 count Body builders!

    Head to back of NOMA for Sunday Mornings x 5. YHC put on some Halloween music. Surge asks, “No Thriller?” With that Thriller was played.

    Head back to flag. One minute remaining, so 8 count Body builders IC x 15.

    COT

    Thanks for joining me and having some fun on Halloween.

    Coffeteria at PJs Metry Road.

    SYITG

  • The Rocky Run – from Baywatch

    Conditions were cool and excellent for an early morning Friday beatdown. With pleasantries exchanged and a disclaimer given, we moseyed over to the rock pile for a warmup.

    Warmup (IC):

    SSH 20x
    Hillbillies 20x
    Stormtroopers 20x
    Peter Parkers 15x
    Parker Peters 15x
    Arm Circles F/B 15x

    Now the fun part…everyone grabbed a rock (well, except for Rougarou. He grabbed a pebble.) and we headed over to the track.

    The name of the game was 4-corners. We did 4 laps around the track, carrying our rocks, and stopping at each corner for some fun.

    Corner 1–25 curls & 25 flutter kicks (FK)
    Corner 2–25 overhead presses & 25 FK
    Corner 3–25 bent over rows & 25 FK
    Corner 4–25 squats & 25 FK

    After 4 laps we all finished right at the buzzer with Bogey and Vagabond leading the way. We dropped our rocks off (and one pebble) and headed back to the flag to close it out.

  • F3 Justice – from Kuch

    F3 Regional Court – View District

    In the View District Court of F3 New Orleans

    ————————————————————–
    F3 Nola,
    Petitioner,
    v.
    Jeffrey “Kuch” Green
    Respondent
    ———————————————————-

    Kenner (America’s City), USA

    Friday, Oct. 29th, 2021

    APPEARANCES:

    The Honorable Boudreaux T. Hawgcycle, III, Pontiff, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Fracsac, The View, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Jefferey “Kuch” Green; LVCCC, F3 NOLA; the Respondent.
    Mambi, Hokie, Mahatma, Bear, Kennah Bruh, War Eagle, Bolt, Triple Shift as witnesses

    DISCLAIMER AND WARM-UP
    (5:30 AM)

    PROCEEDINGS
    (5:35 AM)

    Judge Hawgcycle: We will hear the argument in case 21-003, F3 NOLA vs. Jeffery “Kuch” Green. Mr. Kuch, allegations have been brought forth that you are a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, no good, Yankee lawyer. These are serious allegations and will be discussed at length throughout this morning’s trial. In keeping with a tradition of the court we will open this session with 15 burpees on your own. Proceed.
    The courtroom does 15 burpees. Bailiff Fracsac ensures that burpees end with a clap, adhering to courtroom regulations.

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the first allegation against Mr. Kuch. It has been discovered that in early 2018, Mr. Kuch visited a Yankee website to look up exercise names. After visiting said website, he proceeded to name running up a levee backwards “The Bernie Sanders.” The court contends that Mr. Kuch had no authority in naming this exercise. Let the records show that as early as 2016 this exercise, commonly performed at the City Park District AO Okwata, had been referred to by the name “Quadraphilia,” by the good men of F3 NOLA. If it pleases the court (and it does) everyone will now participate in a round of Quadraphilia. By definition this exercise will last 4 minutes.

    The Court did a round of Quadraphilia

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the second allegation against Mr. Kuch. It appears Mr. Kuch has started a non-F3 workout with only F3 participants. This is the bi-weekly Broga workout occurring in the City Partk District of F3 NOLA. This is an unsanctioned workout, but because of the F3 only participation, it has caused a great deal of confusion in the greater community. Article I of the Core Principles is clearly broken. The workout is not free. Adherence to Article IV of the Core Principals is questionable at best. The workout is led by the same gentleman each time, Mark “Pretzel” Berger. Mr. Pretzel is an acquaintance of the Court and his F3ness is clearly in question. Now if it pleases the court (and it clearly does) I will lead the court in a round of F3 NOLA Style Yoga to provide an example of how one should properly pay for a beatdown….through pain.

    The Court did the following exercises:
    • Downward Dog Merkins x 20
    • Warrior I Bonnie Blairs x 5

    At this time the court yields the floor to the Respondent:

    MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT:

    Kuch: the charges against me are serious, and I apologize to this Honorable Court and the Metry contingent on hand for the following:

    • Any time one of your wives saw me in one of my super hot tank tops and accidentally called you Kuch during intimate conversations during the following week.
    • For all of those times you got home and didn’t have to throw your $100 pair of tennis shoes in the dryer or place them on the outside A/C unit.
    • For using the exicon in an attempt to bring more variety to workouts and to make them more interesting.
    • For giving you an opportunity to gain mobility and prevent injuries.
    • For giving you a safe place to wear your yoga pants.

    In my defense, I come before the Court with exercises I believe will please Sheriff Frac Sac.
    The thang: 9 minute ascending EMOM burpee pyramid starting at 6 burpees and going through 14. On the dark side of the levee with visibility low, appropriate tunes were selected: Metallica’s “One” on repeat throughout the 9 minutes. Mumblechatter ensued. T-claps to the 4 people who got every single burpee. It was dark, but I recall Triple Shift, Sheriff Frac, The Hon. Hawgcycle, and one more (maybe Mahatma?)

    I reserve the remainder of my time for rebuttal:

    THE MORE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

    Judge Hawgcycle: It is the understanding of this court that Mr. Kuch has manipulated dozens of men in the greater New Orleans area using aggressive, psychological techniques. Through his manipulation he has convinced them to leave their comfortable, yet joyless lives, and follow him in the Gloom of F3 NOLA. Mr. Kuch’s aggressive behavior does not stop there. He constantly terrorizes men, texting them each evening to pressure them into posting in the Gloom. He is known to arrive in their driveway, yanking them from the comforts of their home and taking them to that morning’s workout. There have been allegations that he has an organized a car pool ring, known only as the LVCC, that terrorizes the Lakeview Community every weekday morning. The court does not take these allegations lightly. If it pleases the court (and it obviously does) we will now participate in an exercise to prove how psychotic this man is. May I have a volunteer?

    Kennah-Bruh raised his hand

    6 cones(representing the men of this world) were set out about 10 yards apart along the bike path. Kennah-Bruh played the role of Kuch and it was his job to make sure each cone was standing. All other members of the court represented the Cares of the World and their job was to knock the cones down. After knocking a cone over, you run to the top of the levee, then you can come back and knock cones over again.

    We did this for about 4 minutes. Kennah-Bruh worked valiantly to keep the cones upright, but he was unable to do so. At this point Kennah-Bruh petitioned the court for assistance.

    Mambi joined Kennah-Bruh and over the next 3 minutes they worked together to keep the cones upright. They had better results, but many cones continued to be knocked down.

    Triple Shift petitioned the court to join Mambi and Kennah-Bruh. With three men monitoring 6 cones it was more difficult for the Cares of the World to knock cones down. It became clear by then end of the exercise that anything greater than a one-to-one ratio of Kuchs to cones would be optimal. The court rests upon the argument that this is the goal of Kuch, to create an army of men in Lakeview that are constantly protecting the well-being of others.

    IN MY FURTHER DEFENSE:

    I throw myself at the mercy of this Court and acknowledge the seriousness of the transgressions, especially the yoga. Who could have known when this all started that only months later, F3 men would be showing up to workouts in yoga pants and their newest Lululemon attire. I take no joy in the yoga-fying of f3 New Orleans, and again in my defense, I think most of the uptown guys already had a considerable amount of Lululemon athleticasual wear for all seasons. I suggest it could have been worse – I’ve never made a man wear Notre Dame shoes. I don’t get people’s feet wet when I Q. There is a lot respect for shoes in the LVCC. I’ve never asked a man to take a 12-hour stroll with a 30-pound backpack or run 100 miles through the damn woods. But still, in light of the charges against me, with my last act as champion of this AO, soon to deposed, I set my sights on one final goal.

    Now, some may say this goal is completely out of reach, like teaching the blind to see or the deaf to hear. I prefer to think of it as a “lifetime project,” something that we know will take many many eons to attain, but remains attainable, in theory at least, nonetheless. That goal: Bring a modicum of frisbee competency to Metry.

    The thang: Gather in a circle, 2 in the middle, guys in the circle pass the frisbee around, and everytime it hits the ground, 5 merks for everyone in the circle and 2 new people in the middle. There. Were. Many. Merkins. I lost count quickly. However, as time went on, we were able to string together some rallies, so I feel like we took an important step. We will see next time we all step on the field.

    In all seriousness, briefly: Thanks for having me fellas. Thanks for a truly unique and creative beatdown, Hawg. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for bearing with me for the stuff that did not work as well. Frisindian run…. Enjoyed spending some time with my Metry brothers. I will be back. Congrats to Hawg, truly a HIM.

    VERDICT:

    Court was adjourned around the flag of the United States of America. After instructions from the lead juror, Mr. Mambi, the jury quickly returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all counts. It is hereby proclaimed by this court that Mr. Kuch has been found guilty of being a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, Clown Car driving, Emotional Headlocking, Accountability Providing, Encouraging, High Impact Man and is hearby relieved of his duties as the Champion Q of F3 New Orleans and is sentenced to 6 months of Community Service in the Pontiff District teaching the most uncoordinated men in the F3 NOLA region the fundamentals of Frisbee.

  • Misty Mountain! 10-30-2021 – from Almonaster

    Pre-Halloween and Anniversary of my 1st Q!

    PAX:

    – Big Willie
    – King Kong
    – Willie
    – Jingle Vader
    – Almomaster

    Warmup:

    Mosey to Tulane breezeway by Freret

    Warmup:

    SSH – 10 IC
    Arm Circles -10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    Balance on 1 foot for 10 seconds.
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang:

    Mosey to the Grotto.

    Incline Merkins – 10 IC
    Right Leg Step-up – 10 IC
    Leg Lifts – 10 IC
    Take a Lap.

    Submarine Merkins – 10 IC
    Left leg Step-ups – 10 IC
    Flutter Kicks – 10 IC
    Take a lap.

    Dips – 10 IC
    Squats – 10 IC
    Box Cutters – 10 IC
    Hello Dolly’s – 10 IC
    Take a lap

    Mosey through Tulane Quad to see Game Day!

    Mosey to the Mountain

    Starting at first level platform to top Backpedal each ramp
    Merkins – 30 OYO (Decrease by 5 each level)
    LBC’s – 30 OYO (Decrease by 5 each level)
    Repeat each level up to 15 and then down. Skipped (10) due to time constraints.

    Back to flag!

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

  • Solo Muscleship Throwback (Mothership 2021-10-30 – from Catfish

    Conditions: Cool temp of ~65 F and breezy. Perfect for a throwback Muscleship workout!
    1 PAX in attendance

    The Thang

    Started by lunge walking from the flag zone to the Peristyle area for a warmup:

    Abe Vigodas x 15 (in cadence)
    Grass Grabbers x 15 (in cadence)
    Hillbillies x 25 (in cadence)
    Imperial Squat Walkers x 20 (in cadence)

    On to faces for:

    Peter Parkers x 25 (in cadence)
    Parker Peters x 25 (in cadence)
    Peter Parker Peters x 15 (in cadence)

    Lined up for a round of ascending partner BOMBS – 50 Bodybuilders, 100 Overhead Claps, 150 Merkins, 200 Box Cutters, 250 Squats. Since no partner, every 50 reps or so did a bear crawl, duck walk, or monkey walk in rotation to the other end of the peristyle and back.

    Lunge walks back to flag zone.

  • They All Ask’d for You – from Triple Shift

    Complacency is the enemy of Acceleration!

    I had fell into the habit of recycling a few good workouts with a minor tweak here and there but let’s face it…I was in a Q rut. I could always use the excuse of ‘Cause Covid’ or Hurricane Ida but the reality is that I got lazy. The rhythm of life got jumbled up and I forgot that I have a responsibility to the pax members who show up. With that in mind, I went to the F3 Nation Exicon page and…WHOA….I had numerous ideas on just the first page. With a little inspiration, I was off and running (so to speak) with the Animal Parade theme.

    WARMUP
    Start off with 10 inch worms facing the bacon and enjoying the sunrise.
    10 – Low Slow Squats (8 count)
    10 – Low Slow Merkins (8 count)

    THE THANG
    We lined up on front apron to the left side of NOMA and then performed the following movements to travel to the right side of the NOMA. It is approximately 30 yards.
    Bear Crawl then Crawl Bear (try to keep your hips lower than your torso for both movements)
    Duck Walk then Walk Duck (try to keep your chest up and knees bent at 90 degrees)
    Monkey to the right then Monkey to the left. (try to keep your chest above your hips as you move left to right then right to left. Hands first then feet second)
    Now that we were warmed up, we used the concrete benches behind the front columns for 10 pistol squats and Bulgarian split squats on each leg.
    Head to the fountain for 10 low slow dips (8 count) and 30 right leg step ups and 30 left leg step ups. For all those doing the Veterans Day Go Ruck in NOLA, it is my strong suspicion that we will be doing the CHAD 1000x. Yes, you guessed it, you have to perform 1000 step ups in honor of Chad Wilkinson.
    With 10 minutes left, we go to the back of NOMA and perform Jackass Webbs which is one burpee with 2 donkey kicks up to 5 burpees and 10 donkey kicks. We finish it out with Sunday mornings and head back to the flag.

    COUNTOFF, NAMERAMA, AND COT
    Extremely grateful for the men today and their efforts! Prayed for a greater awareness of our mission and that we would live life with skill to impact others in a positive way. Soli Deo Gloria!

  • A Deck 4 the Pax – from Fracsac

    YHC took the Q at the Mothership and skipped an opportunity to ruck in the west.
    With a brief disclaimer given, 4 pax headed to the great lawn to warm up. Warmup was typical stuff which Rudy, Triple Shift and Catfish thoroughly enjoyed. Closed out with some 8 count Body builders IC to satisfy some of the monthly ISI challenge.

    Mosey to the track for the main event.

    With the F3 deck in hand, instructions were simple. Flip a card and complete 10 of the exercise as a 4 count IC unless the card gave specific instructions, such as 100 calf raises.

    We did most all the Merkins available in the deck early on. If you Q with the deck, YHC recommends stacking the deck in a way to prevent that from happening. It’s like a fair way of cheating.

    We did most of the deck, then moseyed back to the shovel flag for the COT where we met up with Tool as he finished his 8 plus mile run.

    -The Mothership has been like riding an elevator to the top floors of the Hancock Whitney Center recently, the numbers continue to dwindle as people step off other floors. If the other AOs were overflowing it wouldn’t be a big deal, but maybe a little over a dozen between 3 AOs is a bit alarming. Maybe it’s just a busy time for families.
    -We headed to Hahnville to gut a house as part of our Ida relief efforts, with Gabby as Q.

    SYITG

  • Leadership Exemplified – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 72 degrees, 98% Humidity, Wind 2 mph from the SSE.

    Many times the Disclaimer is mumbled at the start of the workout, something like “I’m not a professional trainer, push yourself don’t hurt yourself, follow me.” But what makes for a good disclaimer? It’s really the Q’s first act of leadership in the workout. So it’s worth giving some thought to it and using it to set the tone. The bare minimum that you want to accomplish with the disclaimer is to attempt and disavow yourself from any liability if things go terribly wrong in the workout. Now, I am not a lawyer, and I am fairly certain that a no-good, unscrupulous, slick, Yankee lawyer like Kuch could easily side step our good intentions and find a way to use the law to his advantage, but at least you will have tried. So the basic starting point of the Disclaimer is to inform the Pax that:

    • You are not a professional trainer
    • They are all present on their own accord
    • They are responsible for their own well being
    • That the workout may involve times where caution must be exercised (strenuous physical activity, running in the dark, uneven ground, lifting heavy objects, etc.)
    • That they should modify the exercises at any point if they believe their safety is in Jeopardy and that they can seek your advice for such modifications if needed (all the while remembering that you are not a professional trainer and that it was your original direction that lead them to this place of peril in the first place).

    That’s the bare minimum, but a good Q will use the Disclaimer for much more. Our number one goal as Q is to make sure everyone makes it through the workout safely. In addition to the minimum disclaimer, give any specific safety advice needed at this point. For example, if it is a running workout, talk about busy intersections, making sure you are running against traffic, and not leaving anyone to run alone. Make sure someone in the group has a phone. Assign someone to watch out for the six if needed.

    If you want to go above and beyond, this is a good time to reinforce the mission and core principles of F3, especially if new guys are present. If you have planned an interactive workout, you can also take this time to forewarn the pax of questions you may ask during the workout, e.g., what is the mission of F3, what are the five core principles, why did you post this morning, etc…

    Not all disclaimers will be the same, but you know when you hear a good one. When they are really good, they become a topic of conversation. After I gave the disclaimer this morning, we ran to the rock pile. I could hear Rev Sox and Boo Boo discussing the merits of the disclaimer I had just given. They wondered aloud if the new leadership would meet this level of excellence. Personally, I believe they can, but please, don’t get too disappointed if it takes a while.

    Near the rock pile, we circled up for the warm-up. I led the group in 31 SSHs in honor of our playground’s namesake, followed by 15 Imperial Walkers. After that, we did a series of plank like exercises in succession (15 Peter Parkers, 15 Mountain Climbers, and 15 Parker Peters). Back on our feet, we closed it out with 15 grass grabbers and 10 Windmills.

    The Thang

    I spent months preparing for this Q. I read (and re-read) the book Primal Endurance by Mark Sisson. There is a great chapter in the book focused on Maximum Sustained Power. By taking some basic MSP concepts and adapting them to Rock City, I developed today’s workout. The basic principles were to find a heavy rock (mine was marked 52) and do the prescribed exercises at maximum speed. We would hopefully come close to our maximum power output in each set. We used a stack to form the basis of the workout and gave ourselves about 20 seconds to recover between sets. We gave our selves a two-minute recovery time between stacks starting with the 4th stack.

    This was the workout with approximate reps included. Some may have done more or less:

    • 5 Manmakers
    • 5 Manmakers, 10 Shoulder Presses
    • 5 Manmakers, 10 Shoulder Presses, 15 Squats
    • Recovery – Plank, Tree Pose each leg
    • 5 Manmakers, 10 Shoulder Presses, 15 Squats, 20 Curls
    • Recovery – Southern Gentleman, Yankee Aggressor, Karate Kid each leg
    • 5 Manmakers, 10 Shoulder Presses, 15 Squats, 20 Curls, 25 Rows
    • Recovery – Reverse Plank, Warrior III each leg
    • 5 Manmakers, 10 Shoulder Presses, 15 Squats, 20 Curls, 25 Rows, 30 Bench Presses
    • Recovery – 10 Nolan Ryans each side

    After this, we did some balance work. I listened to an hour-long podcast in preparation for this Q that discussed the value of unbalanced work and core stability. In an effort to build those intrinsic muscles responsible for so much of our balance and stability we performed the following:

    • Curls x 5 with one foot off the ground…flapjack
    • Shoulder presses x 5 with one foot off the ground…flapjack
    • Rows in Warrior III x 5….flapjack

    We finished with some Core work – 20 LBCs, 15 flutters, 10 side crunches each side.
    Then we headed back to the flag.

    NMM

    About 25 minutes into the workout, Bolt prostrated himself. Was he injured? Should I check on him? Possibly, but unlikely. It seemed more likely that he was new to the Islamic faith and it was time for his morning prayer. How did I know he was new to the faith? He was totally facing the wrong way, unless he was trying to face Mecca, TX. I politely paused the workout and offered that East was the other direction. Leadership exemplified

    At one point, a train stopped on the tracks. One of the young women, running in the park needed to get back across the tracks. As soon as Rudy saw this, he dropped his rock and ran toward her and the train to offer his assistance. He is a gentleman and a scholar…well, at least a gentleman. The young woman seemed to recognize him as he sprinted toward her yelling “Perv! Perv!” Did she confuse Paul with Perv? We will never know. Just as he arrived the train started back up, she yelled “God help me!” (which Bolt had already been praying for), threw herself under the train and disappeared.

    On the way back to the flag, I EH’d a dog walker. I told him we meet in the park everyday at 5:30. He said, “I know (pause…sigh) you all park in my yard.” I feel good that he will join us in the gloom.

    After the workout, I had to pay up on a bet to Hand Grenada for the Ole Miss – Arkansas game. One burpee for every point scored in the game. Arkansas lost the game 51-52. Hand Grenada made me yell “Hoddy Toddy” as I completed each burpee, otherwise he wouldn’t count them. I got to 53 burpees before I had to take a break. At that time, Hand Grenada yelled “No breaks! Start over!” I was too gassed to protest. Looking a lot like Paul Neman’s character in Cool Hand Luke, I wearily began the burpees over. Fortunately, for Cool Hand Hawg, Rudy and Mahatma jumped in to tell Hand Grenada that he was being unreasonable. They pleaded to him to show me mercy and that his demands were jeopardizing my safety. Hand Grenada explained that my mistake was made when I made the bet. If I was not willing to pay up, regardless of the physical harm I may undergo, I should have never made the bet. Rudy and Mahatma continued to grovel for my mercy until Hand Grenada exclaimed, “Weak…I have to go to work. Parten – I’ll see you at El Diablo.”