F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Hold Your Breath for the Blackblast – from Sea Man

    After weeks of intense beat downs at the Zissou searching for the man eating Jaguar Shark of Lake Ponchetrain the krewe needed a little rest to focus for the arduous tasks ahead. Because when we find the Jaguar Shark we are going to kill it and then we are going to eat it!

    Nothing breaks up the monotony of life at sea, than a good game of shuffle board. At the Zissou our pucks are 10lbs dumb bells. A player takes the puck, they swim underwater on one breath as far as they can. When they have ran out of breath they drop the puck, return to the surface, and complete the lap. Their partner then swims to the puck, dives to the puck and continues the process. While one team member advances the puck, the other alternated between 5 Mericans and 10 LBCs. Goal is to get more “Puck” laps than their opponents.

    Following the rousing game of Shuffle Board the krewe sought out the traditional past time of playing catch. To prep our throwing arms we began with a ring of fire. Hard but not impossible, water does burn. Reference the Cuyahgoa River Fire of 1969 (http://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Cuyahoga_River_Fire). We began treading water in the deep end as we passed a 5 lbs kettle bell around. With the bell we did 10 arm lifts on one arm and passed it around. When it returned to us we did 10 on the other. So much fun we had to do it a second time to insure limberness of the krewe.

    Catch continued in the deep end but we replaced the kettlebell with a medicine ball. A good time ensued as we passed the ball to and fro. It soon got out of control as the game morphed into rapid fire hot potato and then into weak arm throwing of the ball.

    Nearing exhaustion we circle up for the COT. Soon we will catch the man eating jaguar shark of lake Ponchetrain and avenge our friend’s death!

  • Roasted Pig – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 80 with 88% Humidity. Heat Index of 85. Wind 4 mph from the SSW

    Pax: Rev Lifts, Mopster, Spouse o’ Science Weaver, It’s Just a Rash, Poolside, Annie Liebovitz, The Perfect Merk, Benthere Dunthat, and me, Hawg

    Warm-up: SSH x 31, IW x 20, DQ x 10, Peter Parker x 15, Grass Grabbers x 10, Parker Peter x 15, LSS x 14, Tempo Merks x 14

    The Thang: The guys clearly wanted to search for Plutonium. One look at this group and I knew there would be casualties…lots of them. But maybe we could find some less dangerous isotopes near the rock pile. In retrospect, I know, that sounds stupid. We did find three isotopes of Plutonium-9 at the rock pile. I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew there was only one way to find out. There were children present, there were old geezers present (whom I fully respect) and then there was HG and me who were still hurting from our last exposure. It might kill us all. It was too dangerous, but I couldn’t resist.
    The exposure lasted for all but 5 minutes of the workout. It burned me bad. I had to step away several times. I had to have several guys count to ten to make sure I didn’t go back in too soon. It was an embarrassing number of 10 counts, but my body was burned badly. Maybe it was for the best. We were clearly infiltrated by a German spy, but all of his pictures were of us standing around, protecting ourselves from more exposure.

    Mary: With about 4 minutes left, we circled up for some Mary. Rudy needed burpees and YHC agreed.
    • Burpees x 10
    • Dying Cockroach x 20
    • Burpees x 10
    • Flutter Kicks x 15
    A wise man once said that if you don’t do at least 50 burpees in a workout, you have failed as a Q. YHC failed in ohhhh so many ways today.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT

    After all was done, almost everyone made it back to their car. It was a stronger group than I thought. The child seemed to be doing the best of all. Rudy got to the top of the levee and could go no farther. I never got out of the park. I’m laying here on my back speaking text to Siri so that I can finish this BB. Thirty-five people have stepped over me to get to the track. I’ve had a dog defecate within 18 inches of my head. Rudy’s caterer is now on lap 56. The basketball ref that wears the jorts is about to start mowing. I pray he sees me. If I am here tomorrow when you all show up for the Wally Sprint, please move me to a safer place and tell my daughter that I am sorry I broke the phone stand she made for me. That was a bad omen. I should have heeded the warning.

  • The Ruck Suck, No Joy at the Joy – from Bolt

    YHC was thrilled he switched with Frac for today’s Q bc at 5:28 it looked like he would’ve been solo otherwise. True to NOLA roots 2 more PAX rolled in hot before the disclaimer while the fifth/final one, Papa Smurf joined during our first warm up exercise:

    Warmup IC: SSH (25x),arm circles forward/back, tclaps, seal claps, Moroccan night clubs, self love; Abe Vigodas, Toy soldiers, Hillbillies (15x), static hold Jamie stretch (center, R/L leg over leg)

    Mosey over levee with rucks plus Sweetness splayed out across Papa Smurf’s shoulders who would be his partner (sans ruck) for the suck.

    For time (20 min): add 5 reps to each exercise in the next round.
    * 5 x Burpees (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Squats (Ruck on Front or Back)
    * 5 x 4-Count Mountain Climbers (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Push-Ups (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Sit-Ups (Ruck on Front)
    * 5 x Ruck Curls

    Props to Kennah Brah for getting into the round of 30 reps!

    Mosey back over levee to flag for 4 min of Mary 45/15 tabata style)

    Close it out with all the trimmings. (COT)

  • Uptown(er) Beat Down – from Bolt

    Warmup IC (to Rapper’s Delight): Windmills, SSH, arm circles forward/back, tclaps, seal claps, Moroccan night clubs, self love (all 20x); Toy soldiers, IW (15x)

    The Thang:
    Mosey to gym and grab some wall for a plank to the song Bodies Hit the Floor: plank>donkey kick title>merkin the count>plank between

    With moisture in our foreheads it was time to mosey to the rock pile and select medium rocks and three heavy ones.

    Rocks in pairs at stations lined up with each tree along the parking lot. 2 PAX doing 20 reps/exercise: chest press, overhead press, squats, triceps press, curls

    Return to pile and finish with 30 dying cockroaches before a mosey to flag for the standard closing.

  • Finding Plutonium – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 76 degrees, Humidity 83%, Wind 6 MPH from the SSW. Sunrise 0613.

    Pax: Ole Crooked Letter and Me.

    Warm-up: SSH x 31, IW x 20, DQ x 10, Peter Parker x 15, LSS x 15, Parker Peter x 15, Grass
    Grabbers x 10 (we didn’t clap because we aren’t 4th grade school girls at recess), Arm Circles (Forward x 15, Backerds x 15)

    The Thang:

    I knew the numbers would be low at El Diablo today. Too many Puddins thinking they need to rest up for the Gnarly Nutria. So I figured today would be a good day to experiment. Last night I came up with an idea. What if I take two simple exercises and combine them in a way that’s never been done before. Would the results be explosive, like throwing a chuck of sodium into a tub of water?

    In actuality, what happened during the 10 minutes after the warm-up was both fantastic and horrifying. It’s as if Hand Grenada and I stumbled upon nuclear fission. It came close to killing us, but we think we survived…we will see what happens later today. We aren’t sure what to do with our invention. Do we share it with the world? It could be the greatest thing that ever happened to F3. But what if it falls into the wrong hands? Can you imagine what would happen if some deranged sadist like Catfish or Jingle Vader got a hold of this? Or worse yet, some bumbling fool like Rudy tries to use it. And please help us if the LVCC sniffs it….imagine that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey with the monkeys and the monolith. That could destroy F3. For now, Hand Grenada and I have determined that we should not give this information to anyone. It’s too dangerous. This exercise shall remain classified.

    After aforementioned explosion, we moseyed to the rock pile where for some 3-6-3 exercises……3 super slow counts, 6 regular cadence counts, ending with 3 super slow counts.
    • Squats sin roca
    • Shoulder Presses
    • Squats con roca
    • Merkins

    Then to the playground for a round 3-6-3 pull-ups

    Then to the wall for a round of 3-6-3 shoulder taps with the left hand and a round with the right hand.

    Back to the VF for some stretches (triceps, chest, hamstrings) and COT

    NMM:
    • Triple Shift has been on me because all I do is run. Every time I see him it’s the same question…”So…. Are you lifting any or just running?” I hear ya Triple. So, taking his encouraging words to heart, I thought today would be a good opportunity to get in some strength training. After the exercise that I can’t talk about, my arms will probably be permanently jacked. I may never have to work them out again. Only time will tell, but this may have solved my problem.
    • I am worried about Hand Grenada. His arms were already pretty jacked. We may have over done it for him. Can you imagine if Gabby had been at this workout? He would never find a shirt with sleeves large enough. All of his suits would get the Belichick treatment. Could he walk into board meetings at GNO, Inc. with his sleeves cut off? See why I can’t share this workout…..man I hope Hand Grenada is okay. If he survives, it will probably help him. He’s in medical sales. I’ve seen the women that go into pharmaceutical sales. The men are definitely at a disadvantage. Looking like a Chippendales dancer will probably help him out.
    • The 3-6-3 workout is a reminder of the Glory Days of the Gnarly Nutria. It was introduced at the Birdcage a week after the World beat Uptown 363-360 at the second annual GN. #NeverForget. The humiliation the Uptown felt doing that workout also lead to a 2nd World victory at GN III. But it’s been dark times for the World ever since the Northshore got too big for their britches and decided to go it alone. Here’s to a return to the glory days.

  • Not a Dry Shoe in Sight – from Fast Tax

    Only 4 pax braved the sloppy Rock City soup to see what new creative adventures Fast Tax had put together.

    After disclaimer, we headed to the rock pile.
    Warmups consisted of:
    o Abe Vigodas X 10 IC
    o Happy Jacks X 15 IC
    o Bat Wings FAC, RAC, SC, OH, MNC X 20 IC

    We grabbed our rocks and headed to the field for the first routine, Field of Dreams.
    Partner Sequence OYO consisted of: PAX 1 begins to traverse the field as follows: lunge with rock to 25yd line, drop rock, bear-crawl to 75 yd. line, lunge remaining 25 yds. 50 BBS at goal line, repeat back. PAX 2 does 15 rows, 15 curls, and 15 O/H press then runs to switch with PAX 1 who runs back and does the rows, curls, etc. Cycle repeats until they are back at the starting point.

    After Field of Dreams, it was time to get our rocks off (or up). Holding wife pleaser position with rocks on the ground past their head, sequence is IC:
    As YHC called “up,” triceps lift to overhead and back down. 3 sets of 10 reps.

    Next was Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes: a 10 count arm and shoulder workout with rock, 20 reps IC.

    Following 2 cycles of an Indian Crabwalk, the festivities on the field culminated with Captain Thor, a 1:4 ratio of BBS to American Hammer, performed OYO, increasing by 1:4 each rep (i.e. ending with 10 BBS and 40 Amer Hammer). Then it was back to the rock pile and a quick mosey to the flag for COT.

    Coffeteria at PJs followed.

    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • All the things a “Q” can bring – from Bieber

    An opportunity to Q is an opportunity for many things. There is the “Making a Fool of One’s Self” where you don’t correctly explain the exercise and no one seems to be doing the right thing. Then there is the, “Who the hell does he think he is?” mistake where the Q (me) assigns things that look good on paper, but ultimately suck. Then there is the dreaded “Too much mumblechatter” mistake where obviously things are way too easy and you need to pick up the pace. Lastly, there is the “Dude, you ain’t making too many friends” mistake where everyone is sucking wind and asking what time it is. Surprisingly, the Q this morning at the Skinny provided ample breeding ground for all of the above situations, and I have zero regrets. Thank you to the 21 Pax who shared in today’s fun. Here we go…

    Disclaimer, Mosey around the Parking Lot to Bandstand
    Warm Up In Cadence
    SSH X 20
    GG X 15
    Windmill X 15
    Leg Hug X 10
    Russian March x 10
    Calf Stretch X 10
    10 X Merkins OYO

    Mosey to the Track
    Shuffle Left/Shuffle Right/BackPedal/Sprint to Pull Up Bars
    4 Groups @ Rows, Burpees X 10, LBC’s, Merkins

    Shuffle Left/Shuffle Right/Back Pedal/Sprint to Bridge
    4 Groups @ Squats, Burpees X 10, Dying Roach, Merkins

    Carioca L, Carioca R, Jog (repeat to Golf Course)
    RL SU, LL SU, RL PU, LL PU (Count is as long as it takes for a group of 4 to do 10 burpees)

    Partner up, Jog/Sprint (repeat to Golf Course)
    Mary…LBCs, Freddie Mercury, LBT, Hello Dolly (count is as long as it takes for a group of 4 to do 5 burpees)

    Indian Run to Pull Up Bars
    Pull Ups, Burpees X 10, Imperial Walker Squats, Russian Twist

    Agilities
    Shuffles X 5…Hard Run Back to Flag

    Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama, Announcements…Gnarly Nutria, Intentions…

  • Glorious Return to WPM – from Fracsac

    26 Pax made a choice to take the DRP on their journey to get right and posted to The Legendary Wolf Pack Mountain to see what YHC had on the beat down menu. With a shovel flag planted, disclaimer was given, then:

    Mosey over to the Rosy Palm Court and circle up for a warmup:

    IW IC x 15
    Abe Vigodas x 10
    Grass Grabbers x 10
    Bat wings AC, SC, OH, MNC (dancing encouraged)
    Catalina Wine Mixers IC x 10

    Count off and pax instructed to remember their number. Then count 1,2,1,2….

    Mosey to the mountain…

    Two columns, hence the 1 and 2 count. Run to the top of the mountain with last pax sprinting to front all the way up.

    Once on top, take the stairs back down to level 4.

    Burpee broad jump the short side of level 4, then bear crawl the long way.

    Head back up the mountain, with quadraphilia on the inclines and sprints on the straight aways, all OYO.

    Circle up on the top for a mental test. The Q has the pax recall their number, then combines the numbers in some fashion for SSH. The instructions are clear: execute SSH IC up to the first number followed by SSH in silence and completing together, with the Q being the cadence to follow. Failure to follow instructions results in a penalty.
    Spoiler alert: there were penalties.
    Penalty 1 – Heisenberg Seal burpees x 10 (burpee with 2 Merkins)
    Penalty 2 – Heisenberg Seal burpees x 15
    Penalty 3 – Sprint to far wall and back and do 10 burpees.
    The 4th time the Pax got it, sort of.
    Time for one set of Tin Snips IC x 20.

    Return to the flag for COT

    NMM

    – YHC hasn’t done WPM in a while, and wow! What a rockin’ AO!
    – The uptown crowd was surprisingly quiet today, minimal Mumblechatter going on.
    – There’s a rumor going around about doing burpees even if the pax were in perfect sync. I cannot confirm nor deny this rumor, except to encourage the pax to continue to reach for perfection.
    – Coffeteria was awesome and well attended.
    – Thanks for allowing me to be part of such an incredible group of men, and for gifting me the opportunity to lead.

    SYITG

  • A little shoulder work – from Hokie

    Hokie, FCOJ, Blowout, Doc Ock, Gabrielle, King Kong, Almonaster, Sub- Prime

    Warm up – motivators
    Arm circles
    Echo stretch
    Ankle rolls
    Legs to chest
    Self love

    4 @ 7 – Heisenberg’s – small lap

    4 @ 14 – 4 count merkins – small lap

    4 @ 21 – plank jacks – small lap

    4 @ 28 – Shoulder Taps – small lap

    AND BACK DOWN

    11’s – diamond merkins & flutter kicks

    Teams –
    small lap with weight
    Peter Parker’s
    T-merkins
    Mountain climbers

    11’s
    Real seal burpees
    Bobby Hurley’s

  • Launch of Zissou – from Sea Man

    Into the waters the intrepid divers lept in search of the man eating Jaguar Shark of Ponchetrain. We knew this would be dangerous! When we arrived we encountered 3 local tribesmen who were swimming with 40lbs + kettle bells.

    Undaunted by this, into the cool depths our krewe of Pai Gow, Moana, JV, Tito, Sphinxter swam free style and a lovely synchronized back stroke by JV. We swam a ladder of laps up to 5 and back down for total of 25 laps int the 25m pool. In between intervals we attempted Mericans and LBCs starting at 10 each and doubling for each lap. While we did not find the man eating Jaguar Shark of Ponchetrain we did discover that a wet dad bod on the pool deck performs better than any 5 and Dime woopie cushion! We will resume our search next week and may attempt a Saturday plunge as well.