F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Halloween 2: Brick or Crete – from Paradox

    It’s been a minute since YHC has gone full “get off my lawn” but nothing brings out the rose colored glasses quite like a good Americanized holiday so just hear me out.
    (If you can imagine me in a rocking chair with a pipe, jorts, mason jar, and a sleeveless Skynyrd shirt then it will help)

    Here’s the simple fact to address today boys…Trick or Treat has gone soft. I see you nodding at home. You have all seen it. Full sized candy bars, watered down jump scares , all treat with no trick. Amazon stock costumes that were 2-day shipped cus their parents forgot . Is this KitKat sigma or will I have to use your Skibidi? Does my hulk have enough Gyat for you?

    Where do we draw the line?

    Back in myyyy dayyy you got dropped off to “go work the hood” with a home made power ranger suit that was a red hoodie and a piece of rope for a belt and when you stepped on a porch the response could be anything from grandmas cough drops to a full R- rated murder simulation. Your jr high janitor dressed as a zombie and loaded on 5 bud heavies may grab your ankle as you run from the yard. You fled with a single kernel of candy corn and your life intact then you reset and head to the next house. Adrenaline in its purest form right there in the fall of 1995.

    And so today YHC says enough is enough. This is where I put my untethered hulk foot down.
    For 45 minutes we would harken to the days of old and restore the mystery of trick or treating .

    Duke!!
    Put down that Chinese menu and roll the footage! It’s the Halloween beatdown.

    8 pax strong at the Den which had been prepped and ready for Popeyes mayorial campaign rally later in the day. His 3 pronged platform has a massive following already but I’ll lay it out for you:
    1. bbq 2. Beer 3. Reduce unnecessary emails.
    (People with follow up questions are asked to leave)

    The pax pivoted to a well lit corner setup for the usual warmups as YHC arrived in full flex and had early concerns for vasoconstriction in my nether regions. They say you should dress for the job you want (more on that later) and while I’m not sure what that means for YHCs career our other costumed hero’s wanted a clear vision for their players and an infinity and beyond buzz from their drugs.
    Fred Lasseauxs whistle threatened to lead the beatdown all by itself but YHC pushed through and we got to the thang.

    ***Hidden Costume Honorable Mentions:
    -Goose as an alpha male that loathes a soft cadence

    Brick Indian Run
    Drop to 3 brick stars jumps while we got a good lather of Haloween tunes and YHC tried to drop a few lyrical hints for later.

    Da Thang

    Brick or Crete

    Each pax would experience the adventure of uncertainty and pick 1 ticket from the bucket.
    A few on there we didn’t get to so you can appreciate them now in the safety of your snuggy.

    B- Brick
    C- Crete
    L- Lyrics
    T- Trivia

    BRICKS
    1. Brickicide – Brick Release Merkins
    2. Brickicide – Brick SSH
    3. Brickicide Brick Star Jumps
    4. Let the bodies hit the Floor (plank – donkey kick on bodies , merkin on counts)
    5. Brick Thriller – brick burpees and side lunge brick raises on song

    CRETES
    1. When the Saints Go Marching In
    2. P1 OHP p2 run a lap around field
    3. 50 curls
    4. 50 skull crushers
    5. 10 saint makers

    LYRICS
    Incorrect guess will add 5 reps (5 guesses max)

    L-1Thriller
    L- 2 Superstitious
    L- 3 Werewolves in London

    TRIVIA

    T 1 Which Celtic festival did our modern customs of trick/treat and costumes originate ?
    (Samhain )

    T-2 In France this costume is illegal to wear over the age of 13 .
    (CLOWN)

    T 3 National retail federation names these the perennial number 1 costumes . One for adults , one for kids.
    1- witch
    2- princess

    Notes:
    -The pax burned up those two mosey breaks early and as predicted performed honorably in the trivia and lyrics divisions.
    -Saintmaker debut didn’t make any immediate Saints and may have destroyed a few friendships.
    -YHC lost his bricks in the Bermuda grass triangle of center field so often I think HS was chunking them when I wasn’t looking.
    -Brickicides might be my new fave routine. Def sequel material.

    We geared up and finished with a traditional “brick stabbed a guy with a trident” sprint to the flag to hide the evidence.

    Animal to Uncle Ronnie for his curling prowess.

    COT and HS prayed us out

    Thanks for monster smashing with me fellas. Grateful to lead.

    A Full Size Dox of Chocolates

    The Zordon Problem

    Ok, I’m officially off my soap box.
    I’ll put the pipe and mason jar up until next year. (Don’t take my Skynyrd shirt though )

    We’ll just let trick or treat be on probation for now. But here’s something for your coffee break.

    Every fall when it’s costume time I think back to the magical years of childhood where, for a few moments, it felt like I could actually become the red power ranger. Sure, Part of me realized that there may be far better career choices (stupid left brain) but the part that dominated YHCs psyche in 1995 was like “hey, I’m pretty decent working with others , the sword skills will follow right ? ”. But even with the gear, the attitude and the ninja skills I realized as a deflated 7 year old the real hard truth:

    I didn’t have a Zordon.

    As a quick crash course for the elders , Zordon was that floaty head guy that was responsible for fitting all the Power Rangers with their range of powers. He was essential for morphing Californian teens into legends of after school tv.
    So I had a clear goal and all the tools but realized I could ninja till ninjafinite and with no Zordon I would never don the red helmet. A real problem I couldn’t solve so I moved on to more immediate returns like bass fishing and Pokémon.

    I’m reminded of this , mostly , due to CS Lewis. Because at a certain time of my life this is exactly where I was “stuck” with Christianity. I had the mess that I knew my own self to be (a ratchet costume at best) on one end and the goal of being Christ-like (da OG Red Power Ranger) on the other end. Between the two seemed to be a mountainous gap of “well I’ll try to white knuckle it” or lots of “ it sure seems hopeless”.

    But CS Lewis’s book “Mere Christianity” helped to change this problem for me in a very powerful way. In the chapter “Let’s Pretend” he lays out the groundwork for truly being little Christs. You guys know I’m not much of a paraphraser so I’ve provided the two areas from the chapter that really brought this home for me:

    “You see what is happening. The Christ Himself, the Son of God who is man (just like you) and God (just like His Father) is actually at your side and is already at that moment beginning to turn your pretence into a reality.”

    “ It is not a question of a good man who died two thousand years ago. It is a living Man, still as much a man as you, and still as much God as He was when He created the world, really coming and interfering with your very self; killing the old natural self in you and replacing it with the kind of self He has.”

    There was the solution to the Zordon problem.

    We will never get there on our own or with purely human help but only with Him.

    Slowly and sometimes painfully morphing our make believe into His reality.

    Transforming our ambition into His will .

    Injecting our fears with His own Love.

    We are called to Put on Christ and my hope is it’s the last true costume we’ll ever need.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Okwataween – from Squints

    Mosey to the Fountain

    Warmup

    •
    Side-Straddle Hops (SSH) – 15 reps
    •
    Abe Vigodas – 10 reps
    •
    Arm Circles Forward – 10 reps
    •
    Arm Circles Reverse – 10 reps
    •
    Seal Claps – 10 reps
    •
    Side Steps Across the Lawn
    •
    Peter Parkers – 10 reps
    •
    Shoulder Taps – 10 reps

    Thang 1: House of Pain

    Mosey to the House of Pain, then 3 rounds of:

    •
    Pull-Ups – 30 seconds
    •
    Dips – 30 seconds
    •
    Derkin Push-Ups – 30 seconds

    Thang 2: Slam Ball Timer

    Mosey back to the Fountain. One Pax member takes the Slam Ball up the levee (5 slams at the top) while the other Pax perform:

    •
    American Hammers
    •
    8-Count Body Builders

    Thang 3: Core & Leg Burnout

    Three rounds, 30 seconds each of:

    •
    WW3 Sit-Ups with Slam Ball
    •
    Jump Squats
    •
    Monkey Humpers

    Mosey back to the Flag for COT

  • All Hallow’s Eve – from Charmin

    KB and YHC pulled up at a little before 5:20 to see a herd of runners running away from the proverbial flag and all of their cars taking up valuable parking space. The days of a Lakeview Clown Car were apparently over.

    With just KB, Vagabond, and YHC at the flag at the start time we felt a rumbling, before we knew it, the herd had surrounded us. It felt like a reenactment of the Mufasa Death scene in the 1994 classic, The Lion King. Before we realized what had happened Vagabond was taken away and the herd had left.

    KB was nursing a sore ankle and not to leave a fellow pax behind, we went to his car to lift some heavy things. Turns out, the heavy things included, but is not limited to:

    a bike
    a 80 lb sandbag
    20 lbs of laundry (unsure if clean or not)
    a 65 lb kettlebell
    a 15 lb ruck weight (this was found in the pocket of said laundry)
    and some manner of creature that I dare not describe.

    After lifting some of the weights around, Triple showed up; apparently he sensed the dirty laundry.

    Nearing the end of our weight lifting session, we could hear the lackadaisical languishing of the runner herd; apparently they could start 10-15 minutes before hand, but could run all the way to 6:15.

    We ended up with 16 Pax including Vagabond who reappeared unharmed (or rather no worse off than before)

    COT involved some education on today’s festivities originally being called All Hallow’s Eve referencing All Saint Day tomorrow and continuing on to All Soul’s Day the day after.

  • The One and Only – from Charmin

    Waking up this AM, YHC could feel the fartsack calling, however, knowing that there would be other PAX in the gloom was the motivation needed to beat the battle of 15 degrees.

    That would be proven untrue at 5:30. Realizing that there wasn’t any mublechatter the night before, YHC stepped up to lead since no one else was.

    The PAX moseyed over to JPAX and did the following warm-o-rama:

    10 Abe-Slow-Goda/Pendulums
    10 second hold for Arm Stretches (Both Sides)
    16 Arm Circles, Forward & reverse.
    10 Seal Claps
    10 Overhead Claps
    10 Chinooks
    10 MNC’s (I’m sure the bystanders enjoyed this).

    The Thang:

    1 minute on/1 minute off
    3 Rounds of Merkins, Right-Leg Step Ups, Left-Leg Step-Ups.

    Downtime was used to gather some facts for a future beatdown when other Pax are present.

    Mosey on over to the Stairs for 3 sets of Uphill Bearcrawls and KnOT walking down.

    KnOT walked all the way back to the warm up pad for about 10 minutes of Mary which consisted of:

    10 x BBSU
    10 x LBC
    10 x Dying Cockroaches
    10 x SLWP (each leg)
    3 x 10 sec hangs
    30 second plank

    COT: Brief and to the point.

  • Just Farting Around – from Architect

    YHC Arrived. PAX arrived. Standard warm-o-rama. Rocks were selected. Mosey to field to begin the work.

    50 LBCs
    1 Thruster – 100 YD Dash – Recover
    2 Thrusters – 90 YD Dash – Recover
    3, 80
    4, 70…etc.

    PAX Circled;
    Round 1 – 1 Performs 12 Burpees while remaining performed a movement of Qs choice. Rotate PAX and change movement.
    Round 2 – Same as above but with 6 burpees and PAX got to choose movement.

    Much chatter ensued, sadly there was no singing, plenty of grumbling.

    Special prayers for all those that are in need. Support your brother in need, we are ALL in need.

  • Ghosts of Beatdowns Past – from America’s Best

    YHC had some unfinished business. IPC seemed like a distant memory, but with Halloween approaching, it seemed a fitting time to revisit the ghosts of beatdowns past.

    After going pro, Michael Jordan returned to UNC to get his bachelor’s degree. After Empire Strikes Back, Luke Skywalker returned to finish his training with Yoda. And so (hence?), after warmarama, YHC would return to finish some things that he just didn’t get done last time around.

    Warmarama: SSH, WMH, Toy soldiers, high knees, butt kicks, arm circles, Lafayette Night Clubs (which have become YHC’s new favorite), and self love before a quick bumper mosey.

    Thang No 1:
    IPC week 2, YHC had to bug out early, and thus (hence?) I did not finish the beatdown. The PAX would complete what I did not finish that day:
    40 Coupon plank Jacks, murder bunny 15 yards
    14 Cactus Jacks, Redrum Bunny back
    20 Merkins, Lt. Dan Magic Legs 15 yards,
    14 Cactus Jacks, Lt. Dan Magic Legs
    20 Coupon Plank Jacks
    Run 800 meters
    And that was it!
    We were finished, but YHC picked up significant whining.
    “I already did this!”
    “But WE didn’t leave early!”
    “I shaved my legs FOR THIS?”

    And so the next Thang would be something nobody finished.

    Thang No. 2:
    BK500 Dora Redux: Gimme that Gold!
    Every team in our Thibodaux PAX completed only the Bronze portion of the Dora. What a waste– those perfectly-curated Silver and Gold medal exercises were left just sitting there. Like the last batch of pancakes (which are the best because you finally got the griddle temperature and butter just right). Alas (hence?) they go uneaten because everyone is full of the early rounds. Not today! No, today we would feast on perfectly crunchy-edged thrusters with light fluffy curl interiors. Okay, not my best metaphor, but it went like this:
    Partner Up,
    Silver: 100 curls, partner rifle carry one-way, mosey the other (to the sidewalk and back)
    Gold: 100 Thrusters, partner bear crawl there and mosey back.

    And there was still time for another Thang!
    Thang No. 3:
    Wet Tap’s IPC-ish Beatdown that was almost finish-able
    YHC almost finished Wet Tap’s Hunter-Gatherer Beatdown, save one run and one set…
    Run 400 m
    10 Thrusters.

    At this point, the PAX was obviously sick of YHC’s leftovers. Of course, when you don’t want leftovers, one alternative is to go out to eat instead… growing up, there were several options, but only two of them resided in a PAX favorite song.
    Sometimes, you’d go out to eat and sit down to order, sometimes you’d hit up fast food and stand to order. And so during the song, the PAX would basically knock out some more Cactus Jacks, sitting each time you hear “Pizza Hut”, and hopping up each time you heard “Taco Bell.”

    Exactly 6 minutes remained, so we hit up some Mary. YHC: Wheezy Jefferson; Wet Tap: Hello Dolly–>Dr. Ws–>Franklin’s Tower; Safety Valve: Hold 6” (for a LONG time); Pope: V-ups; Goose: Big boy crunches?; White Meat: 10 count; and Honeysuckle brought us up right to 6am with Freddy Mercs. BUT the sugar mill whistle had not yet blown, so Paradox was able to shoehorn in just a few dolphin hops.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out (and picking up my slack with me) men. Always an honor to lead.

    -AB

    Ghosts of Beatdown Past Official Playlist:

    Is there a Ghost – Band of Horses
    Space Ghost (Coast to Coast) – Glass Animals
    A Ghost to Most – Drive-By Truckers
    The Ghost in You – The Psychedelic Furs
    She Don’t Use Jelly – The Flaming Lips
    (Ghost)Riders in the Sky – Johnny Cash
    Walking with a Ghost – Tegan and Sarah
    Little Ghost – The White Stripes
    The Loneliest Ghost in Town – Southern Culture on the Skids
    Ghost – Phish
    Ghost Ship – Blur
    Ghostbusters – Ray Parker, Jr.

  • The “Rubber” Incident – from Mr Rodgers

    So, I rolled into the gloom around 5:20 a.m., eagerly waiting to spot some pax—you know, real people to suffer with. But alas, it was just me and the darkness. Then, out of the shadows at 5:28 a.m., the Knees Over Toes squad emerged like a twisted scene from a horror flick. Rougaroo whipped out some rubber band thing (yeah, no thanks!), and I was left wondering if I’d stumbled into an unauthorized stretch therapy group.

    At this point, the likelihood of going solo was high. I even started prepping for my own lonely beatdown… but then, salvation! A train came by, summoning four late pax with impeccable timing. With no time for a disclaimer, we set off, breezing through some Abe Vagotas, grass grabbers, and side straddle hops with a flair that only exhaustion at dawn could bring.

    Then it was time for the main event: “Friend Cindy”—aka 5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, and 15 air squats paired with half-bleacher sprints. We hammered out 4 rounds, netting 40 pull-ups, 100 merkins, and 120 air squats, because apparently, we were feeling ambitious.

    We rounded it all out with some good ol’ Mary and wrapped up by the flag for a quick prayer.

  • Great Ballz of Fire – from Popeye

    The following is brought to you by AI:

    Early Morning Workout Report
    Date: 10/28/2024
    Location: The Stage

    Overview:

    At dawn, five dedicated men gathered amidst the early morning fog, ready to embrace their workout routine. The fog hung thick in the air, setting the mood as the group began their session with synchronized stretches and a round of jumping jacks. The morning was still, but the energy was high, with Jerry Lee Lewis’ rock and roll hits echoing through the silence.

    Warm-Up:

    The workout commenced with a light stretch and a series of jumping jacks to loosen up their muscles. Once they felt warmed up, the group proceeded to run two laps around their chosen course, using the steady pace to get their blood flowing and prepare for the exercises ahead.

    Core Exercises:

    After the run, the men launched into a set of 13 Freak Nasty (a core-focused exercise combining planks and knee drives) followed by 13 Bobby Hurleys (an intense squat-jump combo designed to increase heart rate and build lower body strength). Jerry Lee Lewis’s music kept the energy high, pushing them to finish each round with enthusiasm.

    Partner Work:

    Next, the group paired up to tackle a series of ladder runs. While one partner ran, the other performed an exercise. They rotated through five different movements, ensuring each muscle group got targeted:

    • Merkins (push-ups): Building chest and arm strength.
    • Big Boys: Sit-ups aimed at the core.
    • Overhead Arm Claps: A dynamic shoulder exercise.
    • Flutter Kicks: Focusing on the lower abs and hip flexors.
    • Toy Soldiers: A stretching exercise for the hamstrings and shoulders.

    The partners swapped roles after each segment, alternating between running ladders and completing their exercises.

    The Grand Finale:

    Upon completing the ladder drills and partner exercises, the group ran to the top of the metaphorical “ladder” one last time. This time, however, instead of running forward, they “let go” and embraced nurring—running backward—down the course. This backward run served as both a cool-down and a final challenge, testing their balance and coordination.

    Conclusion:

    As the workout concluded, the fog began to lift, revealing the smiling and tired faces of five men who had pushed their limits in the early morning chill. With a final nod to each other and Jerry Lee Lewis’s last notes fading, they ended their session feeling stronger and more accomplished, ready to face the rest of the day.
    ——————

    Pretty much sums it up. SYITG

  • Monday morning make it up as you go – from PVC

    Mosey to the pad on a nice cool morning.
    Warm up: stretch arms, Abe vigoda, grass grabber, calf scoop, imperial walker, Peter Parker.

    The thang: every one choose an exercise, last
    man is the timer who runs backward to the can while everyone does their exercise. Rotate , 2 rounds.
    Mosey to the JPAC for a round of 11’s: step ups, run up the stairs, monkey humpers then down the ramp.

    Mosey to the COT

  • Drawing a Blank – from Vagabond

    Warm up in motion

    Steps run up and down 10 times

    Dirty McDeuce

    Exercise and bear crawl the porch

    Merkins
    Big bois
    Squats

    Curls
    Flashers
    Bonnie Blair’s 2 is 1

    overhead press
    LBCs
    Side lunges

    shoulder taps 2 is 1
    V ups
    Lunges 2 is 1

    chest press
    Russian twist 2 is 1
    Squat kick

    Sunday Mornings