F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Where’s the Beast?? – from Goose

    Last night, Wet Tap posted a hype GIF with Belle asking a mirror to “Show me the Beast!” What we didn’t know was that he was trying to tell us that that’s exactly what we’d be doing this morning as 5:15 rolled around , looking for the Beast. But, the Beast was nowhere to be found, unless you count when Smooth, took his shirt off about halfway through (big, hairy, grunting). YHC assumed that Tap was either enjoying a testosterone induced sleep or stabbing some early spines, so we began a warm-up with a none-too-excited PAX while formulating the first thang of what would be stereotypically difficult round robin.

    YHC took the first thang, an inevitable Dora consisting of everyone’s favorite four exercises: 100 Merkens, 200 curls, and 300 big boy sit-ups; partner runs a lap around the track. It was supposed to be 200 situps and 300 curls, but Popeye really wanted to get to those curls, so the abs got a little more attention this morning.

    Popeye Q’d next, thankfully, with a little more creativity. Each man took a turn murder bunny-ing across the field and running back while the rest of the PAX stayed and did an exercise AMRAP of the traveling man’s choosing. Pop started us off and assigned Apollo Onos. YHC assigned Toe-tappers, Lil Cuz gave squats (what are those?), Smooth doled out suicides, and Pope followed his lead with side shuffles. Then once all PAX had traversed the field, Popeye put the icing on the cake by having all run the half lap to retrieve the coupons, do five man-makers, and murder bunny back to the start.

    Now, it was Little Cuz’s turn, and after a couple of much needed 10-counts, he decided to take it easy on us. Wait, no, he didn’t. Per usual round robin dynamics, he would not be outdone, and matter-of-factly stated that we would each be doing 100 Merkins followed by a little bit of Mary. Thankfully, the Form Police, though brought up in conversation, did not make an appearance this morning, and we finished with a couple of minutes holding 6 inches.

    COT and Cuz prayed us out.

    It was so good having Smooth Operator back in the mix! Pope may be able to say “OK” just like him, but nobody can replace the uniquely awesome mix of tenacity and humility that he brings to the group. Keep it up, buddy!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Always a Gunner – from Safety Valve

    YHC pulled up to scope things (and maybe come up with a beatdown idea) slightly earlier than usual. The air was thick and electric – the thunderstorm and lightening had YHC questioning if he should just turn around and say he overslept. Then he remembered that White Meat HC’d the night before. YHC couldn’t let a good chance go to waste to hurt that man again. In the wise words of our feathered leader, “we do not deserve to be comfortable.”

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    High knees (the real kind)
    Butt kicks
    Willy mays hays (very slow)
    mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Cherry Pickers

    Thang

    With it being the last weekend of premier league soccer (YHC’s team is in the running for the title this year) and YHC’s first Saturday Q, playing some sort of soccer was on the docket. But first, some time had to be “wasted”. We moseyed over to the ED white stadium.

    1 mile run under 8 minutes was ordered – everyone complied and no dishonorable discharges had to be handed out. Dox and Honeysuckle led the group with around a 7 minute pace. There was some discontent in our little group of Ronnie, Goose, Pope, and YHC. Ronnie was helping to set our pace, but a backhanded compliment about being a good person to draft behind from Goose sent Ronnie into a new level. We finished with a 7:20 pace. White meat, Popeye and Wet tap were close one our heels.

    Next, the rules of our main event was explained. We would be playing soccer, with traditional soccer rules. No throwing the ball, no punting the ball. Just plain old soccer, using your feet. There would be 3 teams all playing at the same time with one ball. In essence each team had a goal to defend and two goals they could score on. Once a team was scored on, they would be out of the game and would have to do big boy sit ups until the last team was knocked out. If someone shot and missed the goal, that entire team had to do 3 burpees. Having three teams vs two added just the perfect amount of chaos that was needed to fulfill a F3 Saturday beatdown. Three separate games were played with a “halftime” show in between each game.

    Halftime show #1 – Tubchumper by Chumpawampa
    SSH for duration of song with burpee for every “I get knocked down..”

    Halftime show #2 – Stairway to heaven
    For the duration of the song: bearcrwal to 10 yardline and do 10 merkins and sprint back, bearcrawl to 20 yardline and do 20 merkins and sprint back, etc until the song was over. This wasn’t received well.

    Observations :
    #1 – Pope is athletic. I’m not sure he ever touched a soccer ball before, but he schooled most of us, including YHC.
    #2 – White meat has balled before – don’t let that innocent face convince you otherwise
    #3 – Goose is competitive, we know this. But, soccer is his weakness. I think it’s because he can’t just toss people over his shoulder in soccer. It’s frowned upon. File this away for another day.
    #4 – What Goose lacks in soccer skills though, he makes up for it in fatherhood. Seeing Duke literally give whatever he can to the group is amazing to watch. This 4 year old’s insight of the world is so advanced for his age. He felt like he wasn’t able to contribute to his team playing soccer since his Dad was trying to run him over, but he saw a need elsewhere. He became the best ball boy any soccer pitch has ever seen. T-claps for sure.
    #5 – YHC team was full of all-stars: Lil Cuz is a master shot stopper, his skills could only be compared to Wet tap playing ultimate frisbee. Popeye was the only level minded person on the field when he decided that just playing defense is the way – let the other two teams full of cavemen go after one another first. Brilliant! See #4 for Duke.

    We made it back to flag with 3 minutes to spare. YHC thought hard about ending the beatdown early, but once again, I couldn’t let White Meat down. We laid down in the mud puddles and completed 3 minutes of Mary. Announcements were made. The rugby jersey was handed from Lil Cuz to YHC – he must have appreciated the bearcrawl to heaven earlier. Lil Cuz prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out this morning and playing some weird sport that not many people are into. Always a pleasure to lead

  • Venti 24137 – from Sea Man

    Venti is approaching 1 year! 7 pax sojourned to the river and Starbucks!

  • Dangling Participles – from Honeysuckle

    YHC and 8 HIMs convened at the Den Where the Lion Once Was. Knowing that Achilles tendon injuries were soon to be on the rise due to the Thibodaux “Master Plan”, the warmup was slightly extended.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Windmills, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love

    As we’re in the middle of the May Challenge, YHC decided to spend most of the beatdown rehashing the types of things we’ve been doing to get points. Today, it would be mainly mileage, merkins, and big boy situps.

    Thang 1:

    To get the ball rolling, we began with cheddar shreddar. Some of the PAX remembered this one, others didn’t, but what YHC didn’t remember is how challenging it is. The PAX lined up in plank position shoulder to shoulder, and the PAX at the far left would move to become face to face with the PAX to his right and say “down” as they both do a merkin together.
    Then everything shifts one to the right, sort of like a conveyor belt. At the end, run to the edge of the parking lot and back only to do the cheddar shreddar again.

    To get the “silent retreat beatdown” effect, YHC suggested that maybe we didn’t need to say “down” depending on the connection felt with the PAX you’re lined up with. What resulted instead was some extremely exaggerated and loud “down!”s as different PAX felt emboldened to let out pent-up frustration and disappointment with certain of their fellow PAX.

    Thang 2:

    To continue with the merkins, a ladder exercise was to be performed starting with 5 merkins at the fresh concrete square, run to the back of the civic center to do 5 BBSs, run back to the square to do 10 merkins, and so on, until the round of 25 merkins and 25 BBSs were completed. The PAX were instructed to stay together until everyone was finished. YHC took a little too long getting those 25 BBSs and only Pope stayed behind. To the other 7 PAX, YHC would like to say, “DOWN!!”

    Thang 3:

    In the spirit of rehashing, YHC reprised the “name the thing these two songs have in common” game with “Small Town” (John Cougar Mellancamp) and “Live and Let Die” (Paul McCartney and the Wings). For the first song, hold Al Gore and every mention of “Small Town” was a jump squat or Bobby Hurley. For the second song, squats during the slow part, SSHs during the fast part, and high knees during the other part. Oh, what was the common thread to which I was referring to? It reminds me of a joke.

    A visitor from Homer at Harvard on the Bayou (Cardinal tells me I may get sued for saying that) had gotten lost looking for the building once famous for simultaneously housing the culinary school and the biology department. Upon noticing a dapper marketing professor and asked him, “Sir, where is Gouaux hall at?” Looking up from his new iPhone, the professor said, “Here at Harvard on the Bayou, we don’t end sentences with a preposition.” The Homerian native, whose chatter ability was surpassed only by his sarcasm prowess, responded, “Sir, you just did.”

    Or something like that. You may have heard another version. I cannot forget from where it is that I come FROM. This ever-changing world in which we live IN. A chickfila pops up, an ALDI pops up, and the Lion is gone.

    Thang 4:

    In the limited remaining time, the PAX attempted to descend the latter of Thang 3, starting with 25 each. We made it through 15 merkins and then ran the rest of the time to end up with 2 miles as the clock struck 6.

    Announcements/Intentions. Good luck to YJ. May you destroy your defense as well as you destroyed the wood in the expansion joints this morning. Safety Valve prayed us out.
    Kudos to the fasters. The PAX continue to inspire YHC with not only physical prowess but dedication in these other areas. It was a pleasure to Q this morning.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • 54 in the 504 – from Fracsac

    Conditions: 73 degrees with 81% humidity

    Brief disclaimer given.

    With 6 other Pax joining me, including 1 DR, the 7 of us circled the fountain with a warmup in front of it.

    Double shots with Jack Webb at the Barre. Up to 10 and 20.

    Disperse Indian Run on levee towards pumping station.

    6 rounds of 5 burpees one side and 4 jump squats the other side up and over the levee.

    Route 54 on the lakefront.

    Thanks for celebrating 54 with me!!

    SYITG

  • Bogged Down! – from Space Cowboy

    On Tuesday night, I was concerned by the lack of HC’s that I would be the only one showing up at the Goldmine this morning. When I arrived about 10 min early, I was surprised to see Madoff, who was a no show for his VQ on Monday, already waiting at the flag. Did I just see him do a few burpees as a self-imposed penalty for his Monday mishap??!! As I exited my car, I heard someone call out “Space Cowboy!”; and, as I turned around, I could see War Eagle emerging from the shadows. With 3 PAX ready to go, it was game on.

    I asked Madoff to lead warm-ups:

    Slow squats x 10
    Grass Grabbers x 10
    Slow Vagodas x 10
    Forward Arm Circles x 15
    Backwards Arm Circles x 15
    SSH x 20

    We then moseyed to my truck to pick-up 3 jump ropes and then continued to the front entrance of the NOLA Gold Shrine on Airline. With jump ropes ready, I walked through the “Tori Boggs” beatdown, a tribute to the repeat world champion jump rope champion, Tori Boggs.

    The Thang

    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) Forward Jump Rope
    Double rope crunch x 20 (2-1)
    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) Backwards Jump Rope
    Overhead extended jump rope squats x 40
    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) 1 leg (right) Jump Rope
    BBSU with jump rope extended above head x 30
    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) 1 leg (left) Jump Rope
    Stretch back with extended jump rope V-Ups x 30
    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) Backwards Jump Rope
    Monkey Dance x 40
    2 min (1:40 min on, :20 sec rest) Forwards Jump Rope
    Jump Rope Burpees x 10

    Mosey back to the flag. COT. I was thrilled to have War Eagle join us again and Madoff back in the saddle again ready for his VQ.

  • The Laredo Redux – from Fracsac

    The Site Q at El Diablo has set the precedence to have a hero WOD to honor those who have paid the ultimate price. After a brief disclaimer and a warmup, YHC complied with the following:

     6 rounds for time
    24 air squats
    24 push-ups
    24 walking lunges
    400m run
    With about 10 minutes remaining, move to the parking lot for burpee broad jumps and some Mary.

    COT

    NMM

    The Laredo

    While serving in Afghanistan, Army Staff Sgt. Edwardo Loredo died on June 24, 2010, when insurgents attacked with an IED. Loredo previously served in Iraq. Hence the 6/24.

    The pax crushed it with time left over. They had the choice of bear crawl between burpees or burpee broad jumps. Roughly about 15 or so completed.

    Unbeknownst to YHC, this WOD was completed a few weeks ago. We honored this fallen warrior twice.

    SYITG

  • What do u call a VQ minus the V? – from Bolt

    YHC put the call out Friday in mumblechatter and Sunday in announcements as hype-man that Madoff would pop his Q cherry; never did I expect 5:30 to strike and also have to be the Q! A VQ without a V is just another Bolt BD, mosey to the car for JBL to serenade the pax as required by the Geneva Convention. Warmorama of more stretchy stuff than normal plus the usual: Abe SLOWgodas, Abe Vigodas, Tie Fighters, Seal claps, OH claps, PP/PP. Finish with 25 Australian pull ups IC as the mosquitos attacked so off to JPAX for the Thang:

    26 RLSU
    25 incline merkins
    26 LLSU
    25 decline merkins
    Retrieve the coupons for EMOM (1 minute work, 10 secs rest quickly changed to 40 secs rest after two exercises):
    OH press
    Squats
    Big boys 
    Curls
    Lunges
    American Hammers
    Tricep press
    Calf raises
    Manmakers
    Finish with Mary:
    One legged wife pleasers (non-grounded leg extended) x 15, flapjack
    LBC x 30
    Penguins x 30
    Protractors 1 minute
    Return coupons and mosey to flag with time for 5 burpees OYO
    COT

  • I Don’t Take Requests – from America’s Best

    Let’s get right to it.

    Warmarama

    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Self love
    Mountain climbers
    William Mays Hayes Jr, Esquire (slow Willie Mays Hayes, unknowingly developed by Safety Valve 24 hours earlier)

    At this point in our warmarama, a figure quietly (as if on hybrid power) appears out of the gloom. Ambling up, confused, perhaps lost, the mysterious man speaks: “Is this the F6 Catalina Wine Mixer?”
    And so we added some more celebratory side-straddle hops to welcome YJ.

    First Thang:
    Indigenous Peoples Run – starting with pretty annoying music.
    Trivia for merkins: the song was too easily identified as “Bad Boys” from Cops, so the level 2 questions were activated: nobody knew the year the show premiered (1989) or the artist (Inner Circle). Honeysuckle knew the tangent trivia that Gloria Estefan sang “Bad Boy,” and of course Enron nailed the movie trivia (Will Smith and Martin Lawrence). 10 merkin reward.

    Stop 2
    Popeye knows his CHiPs, answering the first two questions here. Honeysuckle called out the band 7Mary3 (LL cred). The next question drew a pause (“is this a trick question?”) before a few PAX answered that 7Mary3 originated at W&M. No merkins.

    Stop 3
    Apparently this new guy (or is he a downranger?) YankeeJeaux likes dags. You like dags? He even knew Turner and Hooch. 10 merkins because nobody knew about the Beagle Brigade or the Jim Belishi garbage movie K-9.

    Stop 4
    Giveaway question: who sings this song?
    Impossible question: name 2 band members in the Police.
    Since everyone only knows Sting, what instrument did Sting play? Honeysuckle immediately, confidently answered “bass”.
    And speaking of sting? The final question:
    In 1999, both of 47 year-old skydiver Joan Murray’s parachutes failed, and she plunged 14,500 ft, striking the ground at 80 mph, but survived due to hundreds of stings of what wingless wasp relative?
    The takeaway here is that fire ants sting, not bite.

    Next Thang: You can do it!
    The song: “Can’t Stand Losing You”
    The work: Thrusters, with a curl for every “can’t”. We maybe did twice as many curls as thrusters. The Police really know how to drive a point home using that repetition.

    Edit: during this, somehow Honeysuckle came up with another member of the Police: “Andy Summers.” No word on which satellite beams music trivia to his brain, but the delay has been reported and someone at NASA has been fired.)

    Thang 3:
    YHC had formulated a Dora that was all points (Merkins, Curls, BBS), but that was scrapped for several reasons:
    1. Safety Valve ran the same Dora yesterday.
    2. 300 BBS yesterday led to abrasions on the area I believe the Jerky Boys referred to as the “ass-neck.”
    3. BBS and curls are only half-points.
    And so the Dora would be 200 merkins, followed by . . . 200 merkins.
    Two songs on repeat would direct the partner: during song one (Walking on the Moon), lunge walk, with a jump squat on each ”walking.” During song 2 (“Canary in a Coal Mine”), partner runs a lap. Wasn’t thinking about another trigger for this, but since Dox asked (“ooo! Miss Bliss, you forgot to give us homework!”), there would be a burpee on “canary.”

    All was running very smoothly…. Until Paradox tried to make a request? Now this beatdown was obviously inspired by the Exicon listing for “Roxanne.” But YHC always thought that using that song was a bit superficial, and maybe lazy, because The Police have so so so so so so many repetitive songs. I thought we could go deeper.
    So when Dox wanted to hear “Roxanne” YHC first thought “ok, you asked for it,” and considered it… but then YHC remembered:
    I don’t take requests.
    And I’d cataloged a few more Police songs with triggers, so instead we would get to hear the very appropriate “King of Pain” while we held our feet six inches and raised them up on every “soul” and “king of pain.”

    That left us with just enough time for a bit of Mary, and Jankee Jeaux quickly calculated that we had about 25 BBS of time left. We completed them during “Driven to Tears,” an Opus to the cloud of stank rained down upon YHC by YJ only moments earlier.

    COT and Dox prayed us out.

    Always an honor and a pleasure to lead.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Figure 8s – from Thighs

    This Q we ran to the Levee and did our workouts at the amphitheatre and along the street lights.
    We started the beat down with a warmup:

    15x Jumping Jacks
    7x Cherry Pickers
    7x Windmills
    10x Sun Gods (each arm)
    7x Merkins
    7x Mountain Climbers
    7x Toe Touches
    7x Tempo Merkins
    7x Squats

    Then we ran to the Amphitheatre to start the workout.

    Using each set of stairs as a figure eight, we did:
    20x Plank Toe Touches at the top of the stairs
    10x Incline Merkins at the bottom of the stairs
    20x Mountain Climbers at the top of the next set of stairs
    10x Derkins at the bottom of that set of stairs
    20x Plank Knee Touch at the top of the final set of stairs
    Repeat 3 times

    –Then, next round same round movements–

    10x Hand Release Merkin
    15x Bulgarin Split Squat (each side)
    10x Diamond Merkins
    30x Quick Feet
    10x Spider Merkins
    Repeat 3 times

    Then we moved to the light poles.

    We started the 44s workout:
    11x Jump Ups
    11x Hello Dollies
    11x Bonny Blares
    11x Pike Ups and reducing the reps by 1 at the start of new round.
    We only got to round 7 before we had to head back.

    We closed with a set of ab workouts.

    We ended with the usual close out, sending us off with a prayer as the rain continued to come down.

    Looking forward to next time!