You wake up on your couch, heart pounding as you brush off the Panera crust of last nights dinner. You turn off the 10th Dr Phil rerun and make a mental note to cool it on the charger lemonades. That familiar ill feeling falls over you as you realize you are late for work and truly in deep water because your incompetent, angry, micromanaging boss will surely make another passive aggressive comment that you have too many kids. One peek out the window and it looks like a ThunderTsumamiNado is brewing. You rush to the bathroom only to realize you are out of Old Spice but luckily there is puréed banana in the fridge for just such an occasion. You hustle out to your ole lemon of a truck. The inside smells like limes and regret. You mosey on into work avoiding the burps and curls of Thibodaux traffic. Stopped at a red light on canal, you can’t believe your eyes. Your beloved lion statue at the civic center is gone. A tough pill to swallow, seeing them pave paradise and put up a parking cawn! You are already composing the email to the authorities in your head as you pull into work. This won’t end without a Feud…heyyy what’s that beeping noise…
You awake a second time.
In your cozy fartsack.
Alarm says 4:50am.
It’s time for another beatdown.
Whewwww, just a bad dream
You can’t wait to get to the den and stretch your calves on that perfect 75 degree angle….
Duke !! Wake up !
Survey says it’s time for a last minute game show beatdown !
Roll that beautiful footage and make sure it’s on the 1992 rolltop tv/vcr !
Warmup
Usuals with some serious groans of the chesticle region. Mostly done in silence as we all contemplated the loss of our lion friend and his mystery flags. Was this a targeted attack? Is there something bigger/better coming as payment for our 45 minutes/week of extra park security? And most importantly, just where in the heck are we supposed to do our pre beatdown loitering?!
YHC led the pax in a coupon mosey drop off then transitioned into an Indian run 3 burp drop to warm the carburetors.
Back to the …cawns (single tear) ..and YHC unveiled today would be about f3 family unity.
Ya see F3 Thib has a long and bloody history of schisms…a few highlights from our timeline :
1.) how to say “pirogue”
-Early Goose Era
Status : unsettled , please don’t ask Cardinal unless you want a homily about Acadian history.
2.) The fitness tracker wars
-late year 2 growth spurt era
Status : stalemate , many casualties
3.) The BlueTooth Conflict
-Anker Dominant era
Status : still healing after the death of Anker
And the most recent blood feud may top them all …
4.) The Earls of Sandwich
– Rienzi Awakening Era
Status : Some of the hottest takes about sub shops you can imagine.
That’s just a taste of the major conflicts and so today we honor the bickering of brothers that can always be overpowered by the unity of the 3 Fs. At the end of the day we can agree to disagree and when the chatter gets unbearable …well has YHC told you about double Merkin burpees yet?
Da Thang
“We are family”
IW on song
Double Merkin Burpee on “Family” and “Sister”
-Standard issue with AB immediately guessing Sister Sledge as the artist for 30 seconds off and later Pope guessed 1979 as the year of release for another 30 second discount.
Mosey to Stairs for…
F3 Family Feud
Rules:
Split teams
Each team has a marker board and a designated writer.
Given a family feud style topic that was allegedly from a “random” 100 Americans survey.
The team must list top 3 answers and the order while running a lap around the civic center. They stop half way for 15 curls of a coupon and other curled lips of aggressive intimidation.
Highest points wins the round.
Winner – 10 merkins
Loser – 10 burpees
Tiebreak – 4, 5, 6th on list
YHC would serve as host and journalist to report the team dynamics for the historians.
Round 1
Bad Qualities of a boss
Answers:
1. micromanagement
2. Incompetence
3. Angry
Team 1 rolled out strong with Popeye clearly having some bad boss history to get off his chest . (“You sure lazy isn’t in there dox?” )
Pope was established as the team writer since he can run 7 min miles in his sleep. He also sprinkled in some timely order changes.
Team 1 was the victor
Team 2 felt the sting of burpees and began the rally.
Round 2
You’re in deep (blank)
Answer
1. Doo-doo
2. Trouble
3. Water
There’s a few topics you just can’t beat Goose on, the top 2 being Theology and Poop. He led his team to victory here correctly placing doo doo as number 1 and a full sweep of correct placements Team 2 handed out the burpees.
Round 3
Rhymes with “Will” associated with doctors.
Answers:
1.Bill
2.Pill
3.Ill
YHC had to jog in silence as the doctor bashing began. Both teams correctly guess the qualities of this money grubbing profession and it was a Tie.
YHC awarded the W to team 2 for the creativity of Dr Phil.
**Wet Tap continued to lecture that some people consider burpees a win. It was looked upon in disgust by all.
Round 4
A wrestler named after a weather condition.
Answer:
1.) Tornado
2.) Storm
3.) Thunder
Great debate here as our geographical anxieties put Hurricane in the forefront of the minds of both teams. Another tie and Lil cuz is watching Nacho Libre as we speak.
Round 5 – The grand Fruitnale
What fruit would you select if you were out of deodorant ?
Answers:
1.) Orange
2.) Lemon/lime
3.) Apple
This one seemed to launch the greatest chatter and performed well when beta tested with YHCs family. Ronnie got off to a great debate on texture vs. smell and clearly preferred bananas. Popeye seemed to have no issue with his own body odor and considers society would better off without deodorant.
Over in group 2 Gooses overindulgence of the Old Spice led to his prescience abilities. His eyes went blue and he was on the hunt for top rated citrus.
Lil Cuz kept saying weird stuff about papaya but Everyone else just did their curls and lost the appetites for fruit all together.
Group 2 edged out a win
Shortened Mary with holding of 6 inches and leg raises.
Intentions for families going through difficult times and graduating seniors.
COT and Tap prayed us out.
Thanks for the opportunity to lead.
The Doxicology Report
Many times you will hear a similar proclamation about F3 from guys across the nation. “It’s something I didn’t know I was missing but instantly knew I needed”. In the last few years I’ve continued to see the accuracy of this statement and it still remains difficult to quantify or even explain fully what God provides through this group. One aspect that is clear to me is that it fosters relationships where you can safely bring an opinion you know others may disagree with. This can be uncomfortable but it can also be a great opportunity to trust God in humility and to listen more than you yap. (Really tough one for yours truly )
Whether it’s sandwich wars , Cajun dialect discussions or deeper matters YHC is grateful for a group where you can state your opinion , potentially change it based on something new and at the very least do ridiculous exercises until you forget what the issue was.
In F3 Thib it ain’t a family without a little feuding and I reckon I’d be in deep doo doo without you fellers.
SYITG
Dox
