F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Bicycling with Freddie Mercury: How Ten Men Saved the Park from the Chupacabra – from Douille

    It was a beautiful morning in the city, and the sun was just starting to rise over the park. A group of ten men had gathered there to work out, doing their usual morning exercise routine. They were all focused on their training, pushing themselves to be the best they could be.

    Suddenly, they heard a terrifying roar that shook them to their core. They quickly realized that a chupacabra, a legendary creature known for its ferocity, was attacking the park. Without hesitation, the men sprang into action and rushed to protect the women and children who were also in the park, enjoying the early morning.

    The men formed a protective circle around the women and children, ready to face the chupacabra. They knew they had to act fast, so they began doing side-staddle hops to warm up their muscles. As they hopped, they could hear the chupacabra getting closer and closer.

    The men then did power-ups around the fountain, their muscles bulging as they leapt high into the air. The chupacabra was now in full view, its eyes glowing red as it snarled at them.

    Undeterred, the men began running backward towards the creature, their bodies moving in perfect sync. They did burpees with lightning speed, their legs pumping furiously as they landed on the ground.

    The chupacabra lunged forward, but the men were too fast for it. They began bear-crawling towards the creature, their strong arms propelling them forward.

    The chupacabra was no match for the men’s strength and agility. They continued to move as one, their bodies working in harmony to protect the park and its inhabitants. Finally, they pulled out the big guns and started bicycling around the fountain with the lead singer of Queen, Freddie Mercury, who had coincidentally been jogging through the park and decided to join in.

    The chupacabra was left panting and defeated, lying on the ground as the men cheered and hugged each other. The women and children were safe, thanks to the bravery and quick thinking of these ten heroes.

    From that day on, the men were known as the protectors of the park, and they continued to train and work together to keep their community safe from any danger that might arise. And every time they passed the fountain in the park, they would remember that epic battle and the day they bicycled with Freddie Mercury.

    As they finished their workout and parted ways, they felt a sense of pride and accomplishment for having worked together to protect their community. And they knew that they would always have each other’s backs, whether they were working out in the park or facing any other challenges in life.

  • Mother’s Day Tribute – from King Kong

    In the realm of iron and sweat’s embrace,
    A tribute to mothers, a special place,
    With kettlebells and sweat-drenched clothes,
    A Mother’s Day workout, where strength flows.

    Curls and squats, a rhythmic dance,
    Building muscles, taking a chance,
    Each movement echoing love’s refrain,
    For the mothers who’ve eased our pain.

    Flutter kicks and single-handed curls,
    A testament to the strength that unfurls,
    In the souls of mothers, fierce and true,
    Their love, a force that carries us through.

    In honor of Jingle Vader’s squat pulses, a lively beat,
    We honor mothers with every feat,
    Their hearts, a symphony of devotion,
    Guiding us with unwavering emotion.

    Leg raises over kettlebell, reaching high,
    Symbolic of the love that touches the sky,
    For mothers who lift us to greater heights,
    Their love, an everlasting light.

    Forward extensions and kettlebell swings,
    Like a mother’s touch, the joy it brings,
    Pushing us forward, empowering our might,
    A bond that strengthens, forever in sight.

    Chest presses with a freddy mercury twist
    We celebrate mothers, our eternal bliss,
    Their love, a harmony in our souls,
    As we honor them with every goal.

    Rows and jump squats, energy unleashed,
    For mothers who inspire, never ceased,
    Their love, a springboard to our dreams,
    Guiding us through life’s winding streams.

    LBCs, a challenge we embrace,
    A tribute to mothers, their steadfast grace,
    And as King Kong, Douille, Almonaster, and Strings,
    With Willie, they join the song that rings.

    Surprising it was, to see Willie arrive,
    His punctuality, a delightful surprise,
    Together, they gathered, a bond so tight,
    Supporting each other with all their might.

    Strings, the elder at seventy-one,
    A triple respect for all he’s done,
    A testament to the power of ageless love,
    Motherhood’s gift from heaven above.

    To Wakin’ Bakin’ they ventured for breakfast,
    Celebrating love with each shared request,
    While King Kong, in line, sought a pastry divine,
    A tribute to his wife, a love so fine.

    In this sweat-drenched journey, let it be known,
    Mother’s love, a foundation firmly grown,
    For on this Mother’s Day, in every way,
    We honor the mothers who brighten our day.

  • In Honor of Old Yankee – from Hawgcycle

    I asked Chat GPT to right the backblast as a song in the style of Yankee Doodle Dandy. Enjoy.

    (Verse 1)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    To Wolfpack Mountain, with a thrill, we joined his workout frenzy.
    With 27 Pax, we gathered there, for a celebration so grand,
    For our friend Yankee, beyond compare, we formed a mighty band.

    (Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

    (Verse 2)
    We started with a 4x4x48, just as Yankee desired,
    Four burpees every four, no time to grow tired.
    Side Straddle Hop, a challenging feat, to end in perfect sync,
    Angie’s List struggled with the beat, but we laughed, not a blink.

    (Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

    (Verse 3)
    Imperial Scott Walkers, we marched with pride,
    Bill Buckners, oh, the Red Sox’s ride.
    Climbing mountains, reaching peaks, conquering what we dared,
    For Yankee’s tribute, strong and sleek, his spirit in the air.

    (Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

    (Verse 4)
    A Dirty McDuece, exercises galore, we pushed our limits high,
    Merkins, LBCs, and so much more, reaching for the sky.
    Running laps, up stairs and ramps, the energy burning bright,
    Hawgcycle’s tribute, like a champ, a challenging delight.

    (Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

    (Verse 5)
    Levee to the Chevy, a backwards race, we faced it with a grin,
    Bobby Hurleys, partners switch their place, determination from within.
    To the flag we ran, spirits held high, eight-count body builders soared,
    Yankee’s honor reaching the sky, our bond forevermore.

    (Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

    (Verse 6)
    Yankee Aggressor, Southern Gentlemen’s pride, we gave it all we had,
    With four burpees, side by side, laughter filled the squad.
    In unity, we stood so tall, with gratitude in our heart,
    For Hawgcycle and Yankee’s call, a friendship to never depart.

    Chorus)
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee,
    We did his favorite workouts still, to make him feel quite cranky.
    We exercised with all our might, to celebrate his birthday right,
    Hawgcycle led us up the hill, in honor of old Yankee.

  • Just Do Stuff for 40 minutes – from Yankee Joe

    YHC has been called many things in his life. Some have said he’s stubborn. Others have said he’s a bit arrogant. Not a few folks have made the outlandish claim that YHC tends to be melodramatic…perhaps even moody. Still others would even go so far as to note YHC sucks at maff.

    Regardless of what these peasants may say, I am not any of these things and the very fact that such atrocious slander would be heaped on my flawless purveyance of righteousness is nothing short of Paradox-level hypocrisy. After all, Enron, 3.8 lbs + 3.8 lbs = 10 lbs. I have spoken.

    How does this translate into a beatdown? Your guess is as good as mine. Take a little bit of stubborn cockiness, a heaping tablespoon of dramatic (if not grumpy) flare, and a complete mockery of Euclid’s legacy, and you have whatever the hell this morning was.

    For context, as we approach the completion of our second week with the May Challenge, point totals like 1,000 have taken on special significance. The men in Cleveland are no dummies. There is no easy way or even loop hole to racking up points. So, this morning was supposed to be a frontal assault on that hill.
    —————————————

    The idea was that running quarter mile distances in an 8 minute pace (2 minutes), followed by 1 minute of exercises, aiming for at least 45 points (merkins, BBS, coupon curls, and/or pullups), one could – in fully ungrounded theory – achieve 1,000 points in 40 minutes. The breakdown is below:

    – 2 minute quarter mile (25 points)
    – 1 minute exercises (45 pt total)
    – Total: 70 points

    Repeat above combo 12 times for 840 total points.

    The beauty of this is that the above cycle would take 36 minutes, thus leaving 4 minutes to work. Since partial miles don’t count, it would be a blitzkrieg of exercises, aiming for 160 points or 40 points each of the last four minutes.

    840 + 160 = 1,000 (see, I do maff good)

    You might say, hitting 160 points in four minutes is impossible. Ok, then ruck one of the three miles accumulated from the quarter mile sprints (four quarter mile runs with weight). If carrying 30 lbs, for example, your last four minutes looks like 130 points (32.5 pts per minute). AND if the PAX showed up stretched and ready to go, then you could add 5 more minutes to the overall beatdown, which would further distribute the per minute point totals across the beatdown OR give you enough time to add a fourth mile.

    The logic is sound. The execution would need to be relentlessly methodical. Trying to pull it off 10 days into the May Challenge at the Lion’s Den was delusional.
    ——————————————

    The beatdown structure was simple:

    Run a series of quarter miles if you want to build points that way, otherwise do whatever the hell you want. After the dust settled, the average point accumulation was between 615 and 670 (not counting any pre-beatdown work). **Not bad at all considering that this time the mileage was actually accurate to the hundredth of a mile.**

    – Paradox stayed true to the run/exercise sequence. He even threw in some pull-ups on a bar that I couldn’t have reached jumping.

    – Similar to YHC, Enron abandoned some of the run early to focus on his uncanny strength with merkins and coupon curls.

    – Goose seemingly completed 9 million big boy sit-ups and stuck to the run combo.

    – It appeared as if Picadilly ran for 40 minutes straight, but he also knocked out a bunch of exercise points.

    AND though this individual PAX commands plenty of respect, I think the level falls woefully short of the awe we should have for 14-year old Pope. This dude is a beast now. In a few years, he is going to redesign F3 because it’s not hard enough for him. He just never stopped…like literally went all out for 40 minutes straight.

    (In the beginning of the beatdown, I asked Pope if he wanted full bricks (for mini-rucking) or half bricks. He politely asked for the full bricks. The look on his face, however, politely told me that if I ever disrespected him like that again, he’d make half bricks by breaking full bricks over my head.)

    Exact point totals for each PAX is somewhat known, but will not be published here, lest Enron decides to live into his F3 name. You know what he’s like when looking at numbers on a spreadsheet. The temptation to cook the books is just too strong. You go to a barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get your hair cut (or so I’m told).

    That said, based on casual convos following the beatdown, and including pre-beatdown runs by Enron, Paradox, Goose, Pope, and YHC, my best maff skilz puts totals between 870 – 925.

    The challenge is on. 1000 points in 40 minutes. It can be done. Who will answer the call?

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Afternoon Delight – from Strings

    Usual calesthenics, 4 Rites, PSBs(painfully slow burpees), wind sprints, Qi gong moves, abs callanetics

  • Some Ran, some rucked, some did knees over toes – from Hokie

    Yep… runners ran

    Ruckers rucked … starting late and then finishing late

    Others explored Knees over toes training

  • Baby got back – from Wet Tap

    F3 5/9/23

    YHC pulled up to the stage in typical fashion. Only to see as pair of familiar vehicles already there. It’s seems Enron and paradox are chasing ghosts in this May challenge. The quest for gold have them reaching for more hours in the day. I asked what’s going on, and he mumbled something from his hypoxic sweaty lips about midnight 30…? Hypercarbia is a b*%ch!

    Circle up for some warm-a-rama.
    SSH
    Grass grabbers
    BUTTKICKS
    IW
    Circles F/B/ CP

    It’s Tuesday- Merkin mile. 25merkins every quarter mile. I really dislike running. That’s why I do it. This group pushes!

    The history of high school and that dreaded theology of body / PE sex Ed gave us the week long baby experiment. What better way to scare a bunch of hormonal kids!
    This beatdown will have us hold and take care of our “ baby” (coupon).

    Thang 1:

    Farmer carry pinch hold the coupon around the loop. RH ONLY. Dropping you baby is a penalty of 25 curls.
    Rinse and repeat LH.
    CPS was notified.

    Rifle carry baby across the lawn and back.

    Thang 2:
    Gotta get things done when baby sleeps.
    50 merkins
    50 BBS
    50 curls to settle the baby.

    Rifle carry baby across lawn and back.

    Thang 3:
    Run the loop- random timer wakes the baby. Sprint back and 10 baby thrusters.

    Rifle carry baby across the lawn and back.

    Thang 4:
    We passed the test. Somehow, our little 35# of joy survived the beatdown.
    What do we do now? Goose belted out- toss it! Exactly. Coupon man-makers with a toss AFAHP across the lawn and back.

    Mary with some leg lifts, lbc, and FM.

    Cot with Tana to GiGi
    Animal goes to French Horn
    Prayers from Piccadilly

    Thanks to all who continue choosing to get up and get after it. The push to thrive in the suck is contagious.

    October2014

  • No Knees Over Toes Tabata – from Scantron

    Started off with a brief backwards walk around the south end of the track to the parking lot behind the bleachers. Did a short warmup and then mosied over to the small levee behind the admin building.

    We did some up and backs over the levee, with each run ending in some derkins (10, 8, 6, 4, 2).

    That was followed by a Tabata with some complaints about not having a rock.

    6 exercises
    8 rounds of 30 seconds work/10 seconds rest

    Catalina Wine Mixer (complaints lessened after round 3)
    Calf Raises (complaints increased and Bogey tried to calf raise to the beat)
    Forward and Backward Arm Circles, Seal Claps, Overhead Claps (complaints decreased)
    Squats
    Flutter kicks
    Side to Sides up the levee and back (no more complaints)

    This was all accompanied by the following playlist, that when done right, ends with The Final Countdown finishing you out right at 45 mins.

  • Show and Tell – from Paradox

    Have you ever seen an erupting volcano as the sun rises? How about a man changing a baby diaper while his friends surround him doing coupon curls? Still no? Surely you’ve seen a priest sprint on a malfunctioning treadmill then? A smoothly operated food fight? Hmmm seems like you should really re-evaluate your bucket list. Wellll 5 pax gathered on an especially humid bayou morning and were ready to give their best performances and embrace their talents.

    Duke, get the footage but you can’t use words!!

    Warm up

    Standard warmup and we have reached the humidity level of…checks notes…swamp butt after imperial walkers. Hello Summer.
    Bumper stop sign mosey discussing all things fireman’s fair. I’ll get those boudin egg rolls next year , I promise.

    BigBoyORiley

    Took the F3 traditional IW and swapped out for big boys for the whole song . Goose again provided QIC wisdom by bringing Yoda Mat and it only took two minutes of Baba for YHC and Tap to be clinging on it sideways like Rose and Jack at the end of Titanic. “I’ll never let go Tap !! “

    The 2.0 Remix

    Introduced a new segment due to my daughter really sharing in the creative beatdown process recently. (Never been more proud. ) After 2 years of hearing her old man say “this would be a great F3 song “ she has tuned her own ears to catch pain inducing jamz. During a recent Nintendo Wiii Dance session we heard Fatboy slims “JinGoLoBa” and she knew it was certified platinum pain. So courtesy of Evelynn the pax did coupon quick steps with air raises on all versions of JinGoLoBa. This heated up quickly and checked both my indicators of a good F3 song: Cardinal hated it and Goose questioned its origins so he could prevent future occurrences. Thus cementing 2.0 Remix as a mainstay in YHC beatdowns. Bring the pain DJ E!

    The Main Thang a Lang

    F3 Cranium

    Been tinkering in the beatdown lab with versions of this and gave it a try today.

    1 pax pick from bag
    3 options in bag:
    Charades, Pictionary , hum a tune

    Pax do curls or big boys for 30 seconds
    1 pax performs while we guess with 30 seconds on clock
    Correct – we move on with track mosey in between each round
    Incorrect – 10 burpees

    We witnessed….

    An Erupting Goose volcano
    A smooth Lifeguard
    Cardinal on a Treadmill (a first ?)
    Failed Black hole (attempted picture)
    Tap Applying sunscreen
    Food fight
    Goose Walking in Sunshine (tune )
    Taps Lions in the Jungle (tune )

    Prolly missing a few but I was impressed with the pax charade skills. The humidity zapped any hope of Pictionary so we can literally not go back to the drawing board but charades and hum that tune provided sufficient work. Highlights were Gooses volcano face looking just like one of his 2.0s having a tantrum and Smooths most laid back food fight in the history of food fights. Overall some great performances to distract us from the monotonous big boys and curls.

    Wrapped up with Proud Mary
    Big boys on Rolling
    Assorted Abs on rest

    COT and Tap prayed us out.

    Grateful for the men that makeup F3 and to start the week with equal parts fun and hard work .

    NMM

    During the recent Monsoon 5k one of our distraction conversations was about personality tests and Goose told us about a recent leadership consultation where the different types of working genius are all broken down. (6 types of Working Genius , see link below) . It made me think about playing cranium as a kid and how even early on you can see people’s God given talents flow naturally. It lead to my own reflection of how to use my own strengths for service but also when to recognize that I’ve waded into the waters of my own weaknesses. I’ll leave you with that as todays pax challenge: embrace your God given strengths, recognize your weaknesses and put them both forward for service.

    SYITG
    Paradox

    https://www.thegrowthfaculty.com/blog/6typesofworkinggenius

    https://www.workinggenius.com

    May Challenge Estimate rep totals :
    2 miles run
    100 curls
    200 big boys

  • Spin the Bottle for Burpees – from Fracsac

    5 Pax kicked off the week right by posting to the Renaissance. With the Q sheet empty, YHC assumed that meant the pax deferred to the site Q. Challenge accepted!

    Warmup facing the bacon with regular stuff and ending with a couple rounds of 15 to 1.
    15 SSH and 1 burpee
    15 squats and 1 burpee

    Today is National Travel and Tourism Day. So we toured the Big lake with the Suck at the flowers followed by Step ups and dips at the boardwalk.

    Moved back to the field for spin the bottle. Cones set up on each end about 100 feet apart. 2 balls and a bottle in the middle. All stand around the bottle while 1 pax spins. Who it lands on has to grab a ball and throw it at a pax. If the bottle is between two pax, each grab a ball. All other pax run in the direction of a goal. If hit, 3 burpees for runners. If miss, 3 burpees for throwers.
    Finish with Sunday mornings and COT

    NMM

    Apparently May 7 is the birthday of New Orleans. Now you know.

    Midway through spin the bottle, YHC gave a pass to burpees for the pax that could say the full name of the inventor of the burpee. YHC was disappointed that nobody knew who he was. 10 burpees OYO.

    The 15 to 1 was to recognize the winner of the Kentucky Derby, Mage, that pulled it off with 15 to 1 odds. Maybe Mage was behind the 7 deaths last week?!?!

    SYITG