F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Ultimate Mutilation (Mothership 2023-05-28) – from Catfish

    Conditions – Clear, 75-ish degrees F

    The Thang

    Quick Mosey over to the peristyle for a warmup:

    Hip Circles (clockwise) x 10 (in cadence)
    Hip Circles (counterclockwise) x 10 (in cadence)
    Abe Vigodas x 10 (in cadence)
    Grass Grabber x 10 (in cadence)
    SSH x 30 (in cadence)
    Peter Parker x 20 (in cadence)
    Plan Jacks x 20 (in cadence)
    8-Counts x 10 (in cadence)

    Moseyed over to the Great Lawn for a round of the motivator (deconstructed SSH counting down from 10), then split into two teams for 10-ish minutes of ultimate frisbee.

    Lined up into two lines for a frisbee-equipped Indian run – person sprinting would run ahead by 10-15 yards, person in front would throw frisbee. Catch = no penalty. Drop = 3 burpees for ALL PAX. Did this all the way to Stonehenge.

    At Stonehenge, did a round of Jack Webbs, starting from 1-5 merkins, then incremented by 5 to 10 and 15. Back on feet for a round of the Mutilator (Al Gore countdown, Squats, Jump Squats), counting down from 10.

    Continued the mosey to the museum steps for Deep Sea Divers (downward plank going down the steps, starting at the top, hip slappers, taking a step down after each round until the bottom).

    Moved over to the field for some balance-y stuff:

    Left knee hold (right leg down) – 60 seconds
    Right knee hold (left leg down) – 60 seconds
    Left knee front extension x 15 (In cadence)
    Right knee front extension x 15 (In cadence)
    Left knee side extension x 15 (In cadence)
    Right knee side extension x 15 (In cadence)
    Left knee back extension x 15 (In cadence)
    Right knee back extension x 15 (In cadence)

    Frisbee Indian run back to Great Lawn for another 5-10 minutes of ultimate frisbee for the finish. Back to flag for COT, coffee afterwards @ PJ’s.

  • F4 by Pope – from Goose

    If YHC learned anything today, it is that improv is an essential skill in many different scenarios in life; F3 is certainly no exception.
    First, there were the signs… very oddly placed STADIUM CLOSED signs contradicting the wide-open gates from which they hung. And the padlock on the gates behind the goalpost, also open.
    YHC began to worry, since a major part of the thang consisted of material requiring hash marks, then relaxed a bit when Cardinal showed up.
    Then Cardinal dropped the bomb on YHC that the stadium was actually closed this time.
    Not only that, but the field beside Bayou Road was dominated by peewee baseball fence.
    YHC also learned (and please store this in your memory—could come in handy if you get into a similar pickle) that the Chimney is a very versatile backup location.
    YHC began the beatdown revolving around the sport that Yankee Joe had yet to theme—not futbol, not America’s mere pastime of baseball, but America’s sport—with the usual warmups (SSH, windmills, SL, etc.) and debuted A-skips to the warmup arsenal.
    After completing windmills, the gloom was pierced by Paradox’s cry of “Keep it midnight!” and on that somewhat foreboding cue, Dox, Lil Cuz, Piccadilly and Enron pulled off their shirts and blinded the bewildered PAX with neon shirts with the sleeves apparently cut and/or torn off, decorated by the stenciled abbreviation TLM along with the wearer’s name on the back. Dox outdid himself when he and his neon minions donned similarly colored headbands stenciled with #KIP. YHC overcame the shock with great struggle and continued warmups…
    The PAX moseyed to the Chimney and very easily separated into teams: the Midnight Owls (and Enron’s 2.0 FNG Harrison) against all—YHC, Goose, Cardinal, French Horn and Coyote. YHC determined the boundaries and initiated a game of football—football according to Tom Cruise and the Top Gun: Maverick crew. This version of the game (first of all, was originally planned for the Bayou Rd. field) consisted of two footballs, two quarterbacks on the field at one time, and all PAX playing offense and defense at the same time.
    The balls were placed after each play on the spot where the ballcarrier who had gained more yards was stopped, and according to which side of the field in which the line of scrimmage was, the team defending it did 5 8-ct body-builders while the opposing team performed 5 big boys (YHC thinks he should have stressed the need to keep track of May Challenge exercises a good bit more; if you haven’t already calculated that, have fun). If a team scored, they were assigned 10 star-jumps, with the defeated, shamed defense doing 10 burpees. In the case of both teams scoring, all PAX did 25 merkins.
    Ultimately, the neon-green dark of midnight was overcome by Team Morning Light by a score of 6-4. Highlight of the game: YHC dropped back to pass and noticed Piccadilly sprinting up the field with their ball. YHC rolled to the right and tagged Dilly with his left hand and the ball, then turned on the jets and ran beyond the line of scrimmage. YHC planted his foot and cut right to avoid Paradox, then lateralled to Goose—a pass that fell far behind Goose, who couldn’t even touch it as it fell to the ground and was recovered by Enron. YHC then decided to be a jerk and call the game. Hey, it was five minutes past the previously determined end time anyway!
    Knowing that most of the PAX hadn’t thrown a ball yet today and had untested throwing arms, YHC circled up the PAX and began a game of throw-&-catch, during which one would catch the oncoming ball, pass it to another PAX, then drop for a couple of burpees—three if he dropped the pass and picked it up to throw it.
    Next Goose and Coyote fell back from the PAX and waited for the first two contestants of the longest-throw elimination-style contest. Two PAX attempted to throw the football farther than the other, the winner choosing a May Challenge exercise and the number of reps to do while the loser did 15 merkins and 15 big boys (yet another accidental complication in the tracking of reps). YHC was victorious in the cannon-arm contest. Next the PAX competed for the longest punt, the contest consisting of the same mechanics. However, having witnessed Goose’s thunderous punts while returning thrown balls to the PAX, the competition was really for second place, a title won by Piccadilly.
    Returning to the flag with the rest of the PAX, YHC observed the unfortunate fact that most of the time spent at the Chimney was spent standing around, either in the huddle or waiting for one’s turn to throw/punt. With that in mind, YHC was determined to add the initially aimed-for grind of the beatdown via Mary. After leading the PAX in the previously debuted Down for the Count, Mary consisted of penguins, WWI sit-ups (which were apparently new to the long-absent Cardinal), Dr. Ws and Freddy Mercuries.
    YHC had the original draft of the beatdown written out in early May and figured that all would go according to the anticipated plan. However, much was overturned, and YHC is just glad that rules are made to be broken and that YHC didn’t focus very hard on the beatdown’s every detail, as he usually does.
    SYITG,
    Pope

  • Efficiency – from Akbar

    YHC has been working with Whacker helping cut yards for the past month. One thing that I’ve learned is the efficiency in which he works. Active, productive, profitable, skillful, decisive, effective, valuable, proficient, organized. It’s not like when we cut our own yard: chilling to tunes, stopping to talk with the neighbors, maybe looking forward to a cold beer afterward. This is an operation to get finished as soon as possible.

    For example, tight and wide. You cut the smaller spaces first toward the street, then the larger ones working back toward the house – this makes clean up more efficient. Don’t cut other people’s grass, even it’s a patch of grass the size of a shoe box. If you do, you’ll get yelled at by a screaming man running toward you with a weed eater. Snake mow only when the grass is shorter, box cut when it’s growing to make clean up more efficient. Mow the edges of the yard first, watch out for protruding or non-protruding items in the yard (stumps, toys, power lines). Don’t wear dark sunglasses.

    Drive fast in between jobs – rolling stops are permissible at stop signs. Blow grass with the wind. Eat something, drink lots of water, and don’t use the bathroom until the jobs are finished.

    In pondering these recent adventures, efficiency was on the mind. What kind of beatdown covers all the bases without being too complicated? 7’s and 11’s

    PAX: Akbar, Wicket, Jose 10k, Hogsbreath, Zoolander, Russo, Minnow, Maverick, Bird, Grover, Hammer, JV, Trucoat, Waterpik, Sogo, Brexit

    Warm up x10-20 IC:
    SSH, Mountain Climbers, Mummy Kicks, Grass Grabbers, Windmills, other stuff

    Thang:
    Mosey up and down the Lakefront, stopping for 7’s, then 11’s, rinse and repeat. All exercises started on the wall, with a 60 foot mosey to the sidewalk to perform exercise #2, then a mosey back.

    7’s Dirkin, Army Crawl, Mountain Climber
    11’s Freak Nasty, flying nun (lunge walk with arm circles), Twinkle Toes (Al Gore calf raise)
    7’s Wall Jumps, Bear Crawl, Hand Release Merkins
    11’s Stone Mountain, High Knees, Renegade Row

    7:19 am, Lightning round
    7’s Bouncy Squats, run, Superman’s
    11’s Al Gore Shoulder Clap, run, Scuba Steve’s

    Indian run back to the flag for Mary

    Mary
    Mountain Climbers x20 IC, LBC’s x20 IC
    30 Merkins OYO courtesy of Wicket

    Name, count, and YHC prayed us out.

    Announcements
    Memorial Day Murph at the Marsh Monday, Jose has Q with Coffeeteria after
    Hogsbreath retirement party at Faubourg Brewing June 10, 5-7

    NMM
    • Great to have Brexit join us again
    • One thing YHC loves about 7’s and 11’s is the Mumblechatter. There was a whole group on the far side that quoted movie lines pretty much the whole workout. Gives you a chance to catch up with everybody, like switching conversations on a speed date, but you aren’t trying to date the other dude.

    Thanks for following my lead. SYITG – Akbar

  • Counting Lessons for KennaBrah – from Bolt

    War Eagle had to bail on his bday Q to celebrate his sisters graduation so as site Q I decided to fill in, mainly in hopes of creating cringy reactions and dissension when I broke out my speaker in place of War Eagle. I wasn’t disappointed as Mahatma decided to join the usual knees over toes crew rather than be subjected to my playlist! Logo fulfilled his promise to be a Kotter before slipping back to Sad Clown after his lengthy absence; welcome back brother.
    Warmorama with the same old song plus the new, true warmups just for Bogey, who was present today. It’s during Hillbilly Squats that we must stop as it becomes necessary to teach KennBrah how to count/keep cadence. IC is designed to instill adherence to a standard, KB! WE got it corrected and completed without further incident.
    The Thang:
    Plank hurdles: all pax high plank along goal line, first pax runs 10 yds and planks, followed by second pax who sprints, hurdles pax 1, sprints 10 more yards and planks with each additional pax following the pattern allowing the cycle to continue until reaching the opposite goal line. Mosey to playground equipment.
    Morning Call: all pax decline plank shoulder to shoulder with pax 1 running to pull up bar and counting all five reps aloud, upon which all pax decline merkin, with pax 1 returning to plank with all subsequent pax following suit. Mosey to pavilion.

    Place speaker in the middle allowing a single song skip to be paid with 5 burpees for all and the next song must play entirely. Bogey was so excited to spend everyone’s burpees he could only pause the music, requiring YHC to execute the actual skip—twice!
    Aiken Legs: Done in succession with no rest* — 15 Squats, 20 Reverse Lunges (10 each leg), 25 RLSU, 25 LLSU, 20 Box Jumps.
    *KennaBrah once again was on his own cadence during LLSU requiring correction to the standard, costing all pax 5 burpees (which also required correction to the standard—inconceivable!)
    Absolutions x10

    Mosey to parking lot for 10 dips IC to warm up the tris for Bears Eat Crabs: all pax assume crab position at the curb and begin crab walking within the width of the parking stripes heading toward the end of the striped parking area (25ish yards), while YHC does 3 burpees before chasing the crabs in bear crawl, tagging them to do 3 burpees and become bears. All pax became bears except The Architect and Pillsbury, well done. Mosey to gym where Knees Over Toes was happening—just because they escaped the playlist to start doesn’t mean they get to finish without it—victory is mine!

    After being mesmerized by Mahatma and Triple Shift, both shirtless, the pax composed themselves (Boo Boo had his shirt off too—now we see where the “Boo” came from): calf raises X a bunch since the counting fell off somewhere along the way. Recover by stretching the calves (place ball of foot only on step, allowing heel to drop toward ground below–flapjack). Next, something new—extended stretch lunges: one foot on ground other outstretched as high up the steps as possible with mid sole on step edge, leaning into deep lunge position push away from outstretched foot until leg fully extends, return/repeat (4 count rep) for 10/leg. Mosey back to flag for COT; remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country and prayers for those with mental illness. Honored, brothers!

  • The gangs all here – from Fletch

    Arrived at the AO to find 3 pax waiting. After greeting them, Jose 10K noticed we were all wearing black F3 shirts and resembled a “gang”! Hoping no one would break out in dance, Jose 10 K did a jig similar to a “West Side Story” fight scene. Time to get started!
    As we started warming up in rolls Maverick, true to his name, late and wearing a blue F3 shirt.
    Warmup: IC 10count
    SSH, Toe touches, Merkins, Imperial walkers, Grass grabbers, Shoulder taps, Hillbillies, Windmills, Peter Parker’s.
    Thang: mosey around the caboose and back.
    BLIMPS,, 5 Burpee’s, 10 Lunges ic, 15 Imperial walkers ic, 20Merkins, 25 plank jacks, 30 Squats and mosey around the caboose.
    Getting coupons, we proceeded with an EMOM workout 6 burpee’s, 8 block swings, 10 squats and 12 merkins. After 2rounds, mosey around the caboose. 2 more rounds and time was up. Jose 10K prayed us out. I am honored and thankful to be a part of F3. Thanks for the lead. See you in the gloom

  • The Dynamic Duo has turned into a Triumphant Trio – from Jose10k

    Nice and cool weather this morning, 60 degrees, I’ll say it again, 60 degrees. Amazing weather this morning. Like the scramble, there was no Q this morning, just enough push to get me up this morning. Yes, I am on summer vacation. Yes, I normally post at each beatdown this time of year, however, Shooter called it perfectly in his backblast. I am a married man now, and I currently have a workout routine with my beautiful wife. However, I am Qing this Monday morning at the Marsh, a murph on Memorial Day (a f3 tradition). Anyways, there was a beatdown this morning.
    A typical warm-up
    Then we decided to leave the a1c, and venture outward. We stopped on the side to do Hammers favorite, Bulgarian split squats followed by some freak nastys. We continued to mosey to the side of the courthouse, where we back peddled for a block to the back/front of the courthouse. Time for a round of some Rocky Balboas. Short mosey to the benches for some more bulgarian split squats, then calf raises (3 per step) up the court house. Mosey back to the parking garage for calf raises up to the top followed up with 10 minutes of Mary. COT, Moby prayed us out. Akbar has the Q tomorrow, Murph on Monday morning, I believe 6:30 am start time is what everyone is voting for.

  • No Q? No problem! – from Shooter

    With a blank on the board PAX will still show, so AO responsibilities include the occasional self EH no matter how many mental excuses come to mind.. Whether it be wanting to rest a little more hitting the snooze or simply making the assumption someone else will take it attitude, which every PAX out on this Gloom would have done most willingly.. Especially the likes of Q Master Russo, who has single handily kept the splash pad a float for the last few months.. PAX agreed that the old Jose10k would have clearly began his annual return of posting every Gloom now that school is out for the summer, then again a name change (Jose10Katie) changes a man. Let’s face it most all of us have been there.. We love you Jose10k, Jose10Katie or whatever your first F3 name happened to be…. 😬😬

    Light warmup
    10IC and 20IC SSH, Imperial walkers, Grass grabbers, arm circles, neck rolls and Toe Touches.

    Runners only out and down East Causeway to Monroe, down Monroe turning on Antibes and a left at the stop sign around the circle and returning. 3.5 total with all PAX.
    Time for Mary WW1 with legs spread 15 OYO, straight led and knee up crossing elbow F/J, 10 Merkins OYO, LBCs 10IC and Superman holds for 5 seconds to 10 and ended with Flutter kicks.

    Appreciate the Hammer praying us out and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Not hating on the H8 – from Bolt

    Six pax assembled in the gloom as many Pontiff regulars punched their passports by venturing to Okwata for the biannual H8. We weren’t hating on the H8; we simply chose not to do it. Instead, 3 ran, 2 rucked, 1 walked. YHC looks forward to the Fall H8 with a fully functioning shoulder to get my baseline. Honored.

  • Earn that Wood – from Wiford Montana

    9 at the Den and the Q was Co
    Next man up to fill in for Jeaux

    Late Tana and you hate to see it
    Running warmup and you couldn’t flee it

    9 in a row for diddle , I hear a rustle
    Cardinal back from another vacation but we respect the hustle

    We would pay the troll then dance to a song
    The hills were steep and the tunes were long

    Burpees , unwelcomed but they did feel good
    Tana made it weird to earn that wood

    Roxeanne and the police till our legs were bare
    Marvin Gaye moved mountains but the price was fair

    Squats to Bonnie just for your butt
    Then we asked Lil Jon turned down for what ?

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out
    3x animal for Diddle, the man is stout !

    My boys in Thib , we got dat dawg
    Tana and Dox , we’ll see you again in the fog

  • El Diablo’s BDSM (Burpees Don’t Suck Much) – from Bolt

    In preparation for my 3 yr MANniversary Q 6/5, while DR in The Woodlands, YHC wanted to try something new, except of course for the warmorama song bc the pax want what they want and who am I to deny them?! Started with Abe Vigoda then followed by Abe SLOgoda after Bogey, at coffee recently, challenged the idea of what’s a warmup, contending that SSH is too high impact for a warmup. Next, of course, were SSH followed by the usuals. Walk the field backwards to the playground equipment, music blaring to create pax pleasure and pain, depending on the listener (GLORIOUS).

    Morning call x5: this made for a long plank and plenty merkins with 17 pax (it IS starting off to be a good morning), especially with Hand Grenada and Vagabond dragging ass to the pull up bar at the end. Mosey to pavilion where the skip rule was explained, prompting Rudy to immediately make us pay 5 burpees (no double skips so thank Rudy for Sandstorm).

    El Diablo Ds: Dry Docks, (20) (Fast Tax doesn’t like screaming, pay five burpees), Dolly (25), Dips (20), Dying Cockroches (31 just cuz), Derkins (20), Dirty Hookups (20), Diamond merkins (5, they suck at the end): all in varied cadence (the Pax loved that part). Mosey back to warmorama spot and circle up with me, no more skipping allowed.

    100 Burpee playlist (below): burpee the key word(s) and perform a movement in between (SSH, Seal claps, IW, OH claps). 30 sec rest between songs. YHC pivoted the fourth song to be LBC/wife pleasers and still ran outta time (Fast Tax was first to call time so that must mean it was good. Good meaning bad, not good meaning good—this pleased YHC). Honored, motivated, and appreciative as always, pax! COT.

    100 Burpee Playlist:
    Flower/Moby: SSH, “Down”
    Tubthumping/Chumbawumba: Seal
    Claps, “Down”
    Roxanne/Sting: Imperial Walkers, “Roxanne”
    Get Back Up/Toby Mac: OH claps, “Get back up”