F3 New Orleans

Category: Backblasts

  • Y’allTide Christmas Party – from Lil Cuz

    It was a week before Christmas and all around the Stage, pax gathered for a VQ, some were excited while others were anticipating a History of Lockport theme beatdown. YHC had other plans and felt like a Christmas Party was more in order with a suddenly and uncharacteristically cold Louisiana December morning approached this close to Christmas.
    We started with what quickly became a crowd favorite from another recent VQ (Thanks GOATs for the great idea!) but with one little Christmas change.

    “THE GRINCH” – Play off of Leeroy Jenkins – If any one yells “THE GRINCH” all Pax must sprint to the nearest tree or bush and run back to scare him off from stealing Christmas.
    With the theme laid out and the hidden mini game introduced, the party started albeit with one Pax who had the ever-crucial music and BAPS was running late. My mind went to those lame parties with no music and people just standing around awkwardly waiting to leave and go home.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Loop – Christmas Themed Trivia – wrong answer results in 5 Carolina Dry Docks and sprint to next lamp post.

    As we were bout halfway through the Loop I noticed another runner a street away and thought “Man, who is this crazy guy running with us from a distance.” As he approached behind and scared a few Pax, the Music man himself, Yankee Joe, had arrived and the Party was saved. Our next thang was secured and the dancing would begin. No more worries of party goers thinking of an excuse to get home and put their pajamas on.

    Trivia Questions that were asked if anyone wants to ask their families and see if they get better scores than us:

    1. What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time?
    a. Home Alone Correct

    2. In “Home Alone”, where are the McCallister’s going on vacation when they leave Kevin behind?
    a. Paris Correct

    3. What is the best-selling Christmas song?
    a. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby Correct

    4. When do the earliest gingerbread cookie recipes date back to?
    a. 2400 B.C. Incorrect

    5. In what modern-day country was St. Nicholas born in?
    a. Turkey Correct

    6. How many gifts in total were given in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song?
    a. 364 Incorrect

    7. Three of Santa’s reindeer’s names begin with the letter “D”. What are those names?
    a. Dancer, Dasher, and Donner Correct

    8. What popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?
    a. “Jingle Bells” Correct

    9. At what age was St. Nicholas made a Bishop?
    a. 30 years old Incorrect

    10. Name 2 things St. Nicholas is the patron saint of. Incorrect
    a. Sailors
    b. Children
    c. Wolves
    d. Pawnbrokers

    Thang 2: F3 White Elephant – Pax circle up with dice block exercises and the deck of death. Pax select between dice and deck for a random exercise chosen for them by fate. Pax can then either choose to do the exercise or pass it along to another Pax. If passed then you have to choose the other exercise selection method. The chosen pax must complete the exercise while all others do an exercise of YHC’s choosing. Admittedly, YHC ran out of exercises rather quickly and was graciously helped by the circle of Pax. Once the fateful exercise has been completed it moves to the next pax in the circle. We went two rounds as not many were wiling to pass along the harder exercises to others except after Yankee
    decided to slow his pace while the circle was in mission impossible plank. He was promptly paid back by Goose with 20 burpees on his own as our one and only “White Elephant” gift. No others decided to test those waters as it was cold this December morning.

    Thang 3: Louisiana Christmas Sled Race (Wheel Barrel Race): Partner Up for a Wheel Barrel Race across the field and switching barrel on the way back.
    – Punishment for losers are 10 Burpees. Last place adds 5 merkins to burpees. Winner relishes in their breather.

    Congratulations to our Winners!: Yankee Joe And Enron even though Dox and I almost pulled off the upset.

    Last Place was Goose and FencePost with the mumble chatter expected for Losers having a harder punishments.

    10 minutes of Mary to finish this VQ, COT, and Yankee prayed us out.

    F3 has meant a lot to me fellas and I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you for pushing me harder and making me do things I didn’t expect I can do. I look forward to all future beatdowns and look forward to a day where I too can be #TuesdayTuff.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz

  • Sweaty Bells 12-18-2022 – from Almonaster

    Starting to feel like Christmas!

    PAX Attended:

    – Douillie
    – Dinghy
    – Blowout
    – Jingle Vader
    – Subprime
    – Willie
    – FCOJ
    – Almonaster

    Warm-up.
    SSH – 20 IC
    Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    Right foot, left foot- 10 seconds each
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang!

    We focused on Essentric exercises and listened to terrible Christmas Rock music!

    Run a lap.

    Around the head – 10 each way, OYO
    Kettlebell Shrugs – 25 IC
    Kettlebell swings – 20 OYO

    Goblet squats X 10 IC
    Right arm squat thrust X 10 IC
    Left arm squat thrust X 10 IC

    Rinse and Repeat

    Run a lap.

    2nd Set

    Overhead press X 10 IC
    Right arm rows X 10 IC
    Left arm rows X 10 IC

    Rinse and Repeat

    Curls to stop sign and Tricep Ext Back.

    3rd Set.

    Kettle Bell pull Throughs X 20 OYO
    Right arm plank rows X 10 IC
    Left arm plank row X 10 IC

    Rinse and Repeat

    4th Set
    LBC’S X 20 IC
    Hello Mrs. Claire X 20 IC
    Ukranian Douillies X 20 IC

    Back to Flag

    Birthdays
    Anniversaries
    Announcements
    Intentions
    Prayer
    Coffeeteria

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

  • The Chatter Goose: A Lesson in Righteousness – from Yankee Joe

    The important stuff first…

    Major Brat (as always, thank you for your service) had mentioned that he had successfully recruited his brother. At 6:28, there was no sign of him. O brother, where art thou? However, the concern would be misplaced. At 6:29, the brotherly new guy rolled up with blue jeans, sweat pants, hoodie, and a look of skeptical curiosity further raised when the first people to approach him introduced themselves as Goose, Enron, and Yankee Joe. It was then acknowledged that Major had not really told his bro much about F3, which is the way it should be. The FNG would survive the day with undaunted fortitude, never bowing out, and most impressively, not yakking on the beautiful perennial rye grass. He would emerge at the end of the day, rebranded as O’SHEM.

    ———-

    Today was a bit wonky. YHC’s original plan had to be scrapped (it will showcase next Saturday, 12/24) and plan B also ran into logistical challenges. So, at 6:22, as the Pax were arriving, YHC made some significant shifts. 8 Pax repped at the Peltch, which would be perfect for the partnering and teams needed for the morning. The idea was to create a second installment of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl. That…um… did not happen.

    Instead, we would spend the first half of the morning in muscular failure and the second half running a short field Ultimate Burpball game. Or maybe it’s Ultimate Burpee Ball? Ball Burping? Ultimate Burping? Who knows…I’m sure Goose will be MORE than happy to tell you. MORE on that in a moment.

    ———-

    But first, my dear and loyal reader, I want to discuss something of grave importance, and I want to be clear. There is a sickness settling over F3 Thibodaux. It is a sickness that targets Warmarama instructions and proper cadence execution. It burrows deep into the Pax psyche. It manifests itself in gruesome ways. The sickness is real, and I’ve cited the evidence below (Chicago style because the APA are a bunch of nerds).

    For example, with arm circles, some can’t tell the difference between forward and backward (Paradox, 2022). Others don’t even know the difference between arm circles and windmills (YHC, 2022). Still others make singular words like “position” or “cadence” plural and for no good reason (Montana & Goats, 2022). Even when an exercise is successfully communicated, (2.0 eye muffs, please) the actual cadence resembles something like the moment Ace Ventura figures out that Finkle is Einhorn…and of course, Einhorn is Finkle (see Enron et al. 2022). Seven count flutter kicks, 42-count imperial walkers (YHC, 2022), side straddle hops at Mach 2 (Lil’ Cuz, Fence Post & Superfun(d), 2022). Some simply modify every single warmup exercise as they see fit (Cardinal, 2022). It doesn’t end.

    How did this happen?

    When there’s Pax sickness, only one remedy exists. Now hold on a moment. I know what you’re thinking and that remedy is not Paradox’s wife, who, by the way, is a doctor. Paradox is married to a doctor. How cool is that? An actual doctor living in his house. To date, YHC is unclear what Paradox does for a living, but hey, does it really matter? He’s set…his wife is a… DOCTOR!

    No, my friends, the only cure for this type of sickness is a Goose. A big, head tilting, eyebrow raising, low talking Goose. You KNOW the look I’m talking about. The little smirk, saying, “oh, it’s something.” He knows we have gone astray; that we’ve forgotten our roots. He understands all too well that to screw up an Exicon name here, or a cadence rhythm there is a very slippery levy. It could lead to chaos. The next thing you know, we’ll be doing drugs, listening to rock & roll, and dancing. Worst of all, we may abandon our truth to erect a golden icon of Greg Glassman.

    Enough is enough. You schism makers, you modifiers, you fartsackers. You hate the cold. You fear the gloom. Has not Goose shown us the way? Turn not from his tilted head and raised eyebrows. He speaks only truth, and he speaks it…constantly. O, ye of little pecks, look to Proverbs 12:15.

    “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

    YHC would try to execute the Warmarama in a way that would impress the Pax, follow guidelines, and please Goose.

    Well, I can confidently report that…they weren’t, it didn’t, and he wasn’t.

    ———–

    Warmarama

    YHC: “Ok, it’s 6:30. Side strad…”
    Goose: “Hold on, hold on. Disclaimer for the FNG.”
    (partial and likely misleading disclaimer delivered)

    YHC: “Side Straddle Hops, 1, 2, 3…”
    Goose: “You can’t just go.”
    YHC: “Ok, ok. Position, movements…”
    Goose: “What are you doing?”
    YHC: “Ughhhhh. I don’t even know…”
    (YHC bent over between his knees, then throws Montana under the bus…the pax seems to be in agreement)

    YHC: (finishes warm-up and goes to pick up cones five feet away)
    Goose: (calls an audible and leads the Pax in self love without YHC in the circle)
    YHC: (oh no you didn’t…switches to Plan Freakin’ C)
    YHC: “Self love can’t save you now.”

    __________

    THANG 1: Lazy Seepurb’s (variation of Lazy Dora’s via reverse deconstructed Burpees…get it?)

    Round 1

    Partner 1 – 25 merkins while Partner 2 holds mission impossible plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)

    Goose head tilt, eyebrow raise to Enron. Enron asked for clarity around the number, 200. It’s cool. I’m coming and Hell’s coming with me. YHC articulated the concept of “Seegah,” which is the noise one makes when attempting to do a merkin, but is only capable of completing a half merkin. Because let’s face it. A second set of 25 merkins following 45 seconds of a mission impossible plank is friggin’ seegah.

    Bear crawl to station #2

    __________

    Round 2

    YHC: “Ok, next set, 25 leg thrusters, which loo….”
    Goose: “Groiners.”
    YHC: “What?”
    Goose: “Those are groiners.”
    YHC: “The IPC Greenwood folks called them leg thrusters.”
    Goose: “They’re wrong.”
    YHC: “Ok, next set – 25 groin thrusters.” (because I’m a mature adult and I DO WHAT I WANT)
    YHC: “Partner 2 holds a low plank unt…”
    Goose: “Elbow plank, but whatever, it’s fi…”
    YHC: “ELBOW PLANK UNTIL YOUR PARTNER IS DONE.”

    Partner 1 – 25 GROINERS; P2 holds ELBOW plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)
    Crab walk to station #3

    __________

    Round 3

    YHC: “Next, 25 squat jumps, while P2 holds Al Gore.”
    YHC: (Waits for any honking. No honking provided. YHC moves on.)

    Partner 1 – 25 squat jumps; P2 holds al gores
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. Per partner)

    YHC calls audible that after the first set of 25 squat jumps, three more sets of 10 instead of 25. By this point, most Pax weren’t even getting off the ground.

    __________

    THANG 2: Ultimate Burpball/Burpee Football (ask Goose)

    Ultimate frisbee rules…ish. Coyote and Pope chose teams. Five burpees for a turnover. For touchdowns, the scoring team did five burpees, the opposing team did 10. The amount of burpees for turnovers had to be reduced because by the time the five burpees had been completed, the other team had already scored, which meant 10 more burpees on top of the five. We changed rules for scoring such as the amount of passes needed (i.e. four, then 10).

    The game made movement constant and burpees began to quickly add up (unless you were Coyote). It was nowhere even close to the brilliance of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl, so we’ll let the commish run that show with Enron and Wet Tap moving forward.

    That said, I would be remiss not to highlight the ridiculous skills of Coyote and Pope. Coyote was seemingly everywhere all the time. He would sneak through colliding boulders of middle age to emerge on the sideline, streaking toward the end zone, no defender in sight. No matter where you threw the ball, ‘Yote would catch it…back shoulder, overhead in stride, at his ankles, you name it. Soft hands and scary speed. Pope on the other hand was a relentless force on both sides of the ball. More than once, he hard core stuffed Father Goose in mid-throw. Other times, he traversed the width of the field to show the bright eyed would-be receiver what it felt like to have Marshon Lattimore get up in your grill. Throughout the contest, Goose was relatively quiet, undoubtedly deep in thought about how he kept dropping passes.

    __________

    Mary to the Core

    – J-Lo’s 2:1 x 15
    – Flutter kicks 4:1 x 20
    – Supermans x 20
    – Star V-ups (reverse supermans) x 10
    – J-Lo Pickle Gobblers x 20
    – Blast offs (from standing, 10-count down to deep squat, squat jump on “blast off”)

    Mosey back to flag, COT, and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Gents, I loved today. The work, the chatter, the athleticism, and the camaraderie make every Q super humbling and a heck of a lot of fun. O’SHEM, we were honored to have you today. We hope you will come join the beautiful chaos.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

    __________

    P.S. The correct cadence sequence is below. Read it, review it, memorize it, execute it.

    Proper Cadence Sequence:

    “The next exercise is…” [pause] “Side Straddle Hop!” (or name of other exercise)

    “Starting Position…” [pause] “Move!”

    “In Cadence…” [pause] “Exercise!” (begin count 1..2..3)

  • Did Gabby pull Thumbwar on a Bob sled across the Great Lawn? The city park police want to know. – from PVC

    Brisk 50 degree morning 4 pax begin Warmorama in peace and quiet then 2 pax ascend from the gloom the chatterboxes of the group. It didn’t take long for them to run out of breath.
    Warmorama: Low squat
    Grass grabber
    Abe vigoda
    Hip rotation
    Hill Billy
    Imperial walkers
    Stretch up head up
    Peter Parker
    Parker Peter
    Arm circles

    The Thang:
    2 sets
    Step ups
    Dips
    American hammer

    2 sets
    20 BBS
    Run backward
    20 Merkins
    Lunge
    20 Flutter kicks
    Run forward
    20 monkey humpers
    Bear crawl

    Bocci ball circle: winners choice of exercise and count

    COT
    Rudy joined us after 9.25 mile run

  • Plan B – from Akbar

    Gloomy morning and a great day for Ultimate Frisbee, F3 style. 14 PAX gathered with 3 doing the pre-thang 2 miler. Great to see Egg Toss back for another beatdown and Grover in town for a couple of weeks. It’s cold, rainy, dark – what could go wrong?

    Conditions: 42, Feels like 38, drizzling rain

    Warm Up

    IC x 10/20 – Torso twist, Copperhead squats, SSH, Apollo Ohnos (yes, IC), Leg Swings, Arm Circles, Hamstring stretches, Sit Through (Thor favorite), Imperial Walkers, Copperhead Merkins, T Spine Rotations

    Mosey toward the Gazebo for Thang 1

    – x10 IC Copperhead Merkins, Sit through

    Mosey toward the shaft for some frisbee warm ups:

    Lunge Walk, High Knee Hug , Drinking Birds, High Knees

    Wall:

    x10 IC Dirkin style Peter Parkers, Freak Nasties

    Mosey to the Shaft – High Skip, Backwards Run, Shuffle in varying distances

    Thang 2 – Ultimate Frisbee

    Regular Rules with intensification. Penalty exercises for 1st 5 Drops/OB: x10 descending to 2. After 5 drops, regular play – no penalty exercises. Ie: 1st drop 10 reps, 2nd 8 reps, 3rd, 6… down to 2. Regular play without penalty exercises until score.

    Penalty Exercises: Stone Mountains, Twinkle Toes, American Hammers, Merkins

    Scores: Scoring team holds plank while opposing team Bear Crawls back to kickoff position.

    Team 1 came out strong leading 3-2, then Zoolander threw the frisbee in the lake.

    Thang 3

    YHC realized we were on a makeshift football field, so we lined up at the end zone for:
    • Bear Crawl to midfield, 10 Merkins, Sprint to the Flag
    • Bear crawl to midfield, 10 Stone Mountains, sprint to flag
    • And so it went on with sprints, backpedals, exercises, and other forms of moseys.

    Thang 4

    Head to Gazebo, circle up for Copperhead Merkins and Shoulder Taps IC 10. And some other stuff.

    Mary

    Plank up for a round of: Copperhead Merkins, Mountain Climbers, Peter Parkers, Parker Peters x 10 IC

    Jane Fonda’s each side with single leg heal to knee, wife pleasers, LBC’s, Little Manny Crunches

    Count-o-rama, Name-o rama

    Announcements

    Run Cajun Run, Krazy Ivan, Franco’s Dip and Dash, Light up Trace ride at Covington Trailhead; F3 Camping trip Januaryish;
    – Russo has Q next Saturday for a Christmas theme.
    – Jose 10k leads the Battle of Nakatomi Plaza at the A1C Friday. Yippie Ki Yay

    Intentions

    Jose 10k’s school family battling cancer; Jose10k’s father in law Carl. Praise for good results on Waterpik’s M radiology results.

    YHC prayed us out with thoughts of managing our Kingdom around us, preparing to keep the enemy at bay. Fight, act decisively, remember where our strength comes from. Help us to be great Kings for our Concentrica.

    Coffeeteria at Book and the Bean

    SYITG – Akbar

    NMM:
    – Ultimate frisbee gave us great cardio, and about 180 reps in the game alone.
    – YHC had thought about what would happen if the frisbee went in the water, but never really acted on it as a plan B. I’m sure Russo could tell us the statistical chances of that happening.
    – Grover walked the plank to get the frisbee afterward as I prayed he wouldn’t fall in. Although it would have been pretty funny.
    – It’s only through continuous Q’ing that helps in an O.S. moment. We were already on the field, why not use it.
    – Lots of shoulder work today. I’m going to take a nap.

  • More About Reindeers – from Hogs Breath

    Apparently the month of December in Slidell must revolve around reindeers!!!

    (Also note, I’m only 5 days late with this this backblast!)

    So YHC left the house nice and early to only realize that I left my car window’s completely down! After running back inside to grab a few towels, I sat down on a sopping wet chair!!! YHC rolls in with a min to spare. Planting the flag we began!

    The warm up:
    Animal themed with some seal jacks, some alligator Merkins, some windmills and stuff!

    The workout;

    Began with YHC having to borrow Pass Interference phone to play Chick Berry 2nd best song 🎵 Run Run Rudolph🎵
    With run in place and then a squat every time “Rudolph” was said.

    The next followed in line for each of the Santa Reindeer.

    Dasher – we mosey’d some
    Dancer – breakdance merkins
    Prancer – skipped some
    Vixen – V ups
    Comet – star jacks
    Cupid – mosey’d some more for our hearts (YHC forgot to include this reindeer!)
    Donner and Blitzen – Dutch for ‘lighting and thunder’ so we did a capt’ hammer!

    Just enough time be able to mosey another lap and one more “Run, Run Rudolph”

    Ended with a COT

    I swear this will be my last Reindeer themed beatdown….of 2022 at least!
    And “My Ding-a-ling” is Chuck Berry #1 song!

  • 12 Days of Fitmas – from Bolt

    9:00 pm Thursday night seeing an empty Q sheet, I decided to grab the Q as site Q but not via the sheet, figuring at that hour all the good pax were fast asleep and it was time for a Fitmas beatdown. Arriving about two minutes before Mahatma and announcing it would b Fitmas to which Mahatma grumbled something about, “if the site Q would…”
    …my mind drifted away and YHC then asked for a show of hands for Fitmas with/out rocks and two of nine votes were FOR rocks—rocks it is! Off to the rock pile for warmup.
    SSH (20), Abe SLOWgodas, IW, Nancy Kerrigan/Tanya Harding arm circles (forward/back, alternating single foot) chinooks, MNC (all 15x), self love (10); Toy soldiers, Hairy Rockettes (15x). Carry rocks to hill by dog park and perform reps equal to the day number followed by the previous days:
    Day 1: Mosey across the hill with Rick back and forth as days are added
    Day 2: Diamond merkins
    Day3: Blockees
    Day 4: Reverse Lunges (2:1, no coupon)
    Day 5: Squat Thrusters, coupon
    Day 6: Box Cutters
    Day 7: Tricep coupon presses
    Day 8: Plank Jacks
    Day 9: Overhead coupon presses
    Day 10: Big Boy sit-ups
    Day 11: Lying Block presses
    Day 12: Mtn. Climbers

    My watch recorded a max heart rate of 179; I hope the other pax had similar results. Upon completion I was wet, muddy, oxygen deprived and honored for the chance to lead.

  • A1C Cornucopia – from Einstein

    A cool 39.5 degrees at 5:15 a.m. atop the Justice Center Parking Garage. With the air so fresh, even a gaseous pax would prove ineffective.

    Warmup:
    all 20xIC: numerous
    then, off to the ramp for a backward run down the ramp, out to the street and up the stairs returning to our starting point

    Thang:
    using parking lot stipes as our template, and the four corners for core exercise pit stops, we did even more numerous things – hard to believe.

    All had fun

    Count-o-rama

    Rock-A-Chaw Fletch led us out with prayer.

  • Murder Bunny Tunnel – from Russo

    Mid 40s temps means it’s almost cold enough for sleeves…no way can I keep a straight face and say that. It’s never cold enough for sleeves.

    Hammer was ready as YHC arrived and was still putting on his shoes, soon to be joined by Akbar, Bird, and Whacker, making a nifty group of 5 for some splash pad fun.

    Warmup (all 10-20x IC)
    – Sealjacks
    – Toe touches
    – Grass grabbers
    – Self love
    – Hillbillies

    Thang

    11s
    Merkins and groiners as we moseyed the columns

    Over to the stage for 10 IC imperial squat walkers, and then to the bus stop for 20 IC freak nastys and 5×2 IC Bulgarian split squats

    Mosey to the tunnel, where YHC coined the phrase “Russo memorial tunnel run”: mosey down, side shuffle through, back pedal up. It’ll be a thing soon!

    That tunnel run lasted four rounds, followed by two rounds of walk down, murder bunny through, and sprint back up.

    Mosey back, along the way stopping for 10x IC leg raises and gas pumps, as well as 10 jump overs and 10 step ups at the bus stop.

    Back at start, we wrapped up with Mary: LBCs, crunchy frogs, Rosalitas, and wife pleasers.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, Announcements and Prayer closed us out.

    Keep an eye out on Slack for a potential Nightmare reschedule, and we lifter up Akbar’s friend Ned in Jackson.

    Thank you fine gentlemen for reading and joining me this morning. Yes, it selfishly was a lot of running, but the holiday weight I’ve gained is not going to lose itself. Your camaraderie was very much appreciated.

    SYITG

  • The beatdown to Bethlehem – from Enron

    After Tuesday’s (#tuesdaytuff) cardio heavy beatdown, YHC was ready for some slower, heavier movements, or just not ready for any more cardio. It seemed to be the perfect timing for a themed beatdown that had been drawn up the night prior with the help of a much more creative wife. The stage was set as YHC pulled up to a much familiar look of a minivan awaiting the arrival of more PAX. Yankee Joe was ready as usual. As 4 more PAX arrived in the gloom, we had plenty of pre-thang time to discuss the many schisms that have been dividing the Thibodaux PAX for decades, OK, well maybe just the past 6 months. This mumble chatter did not slow down as the warmups began, and YHC decided it would be a good time to test his newly acquired (thanks Goose) pre-cadence call. This did not go over well with about half of the group while the other half took it in stride, hence the building of a divide. We quickly learned, or were directed to, who was the leader of pre-mentioned schisms. The usually ultra-quiet and very reserved in his words, Paradox, has decided to form groups on each side… again. Goose, in all his wisdom, informed us that Cardinal (on IR) also enjoy the great divides of this PAX, but is a “seeker of truth” and is always looking for the “correct” side to be on. Although, JBL, #whoopteam, “starting position, in cadence, ready position move” (or however it goes), #Tuesdaytuff (ok twice is enough); will always be the right side.

    Warmup with waaaay too much chatter in between, to where YHC had no idea what number we were on:

    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, IW, bumper mosey

    The Thang: Journey to Bethlehem

    After reading an extensive amount of information on many different Christmas topics, a theme was finally coming to light. We tend to read in the Bible the journey to Bethlehem every year but how often is it discussed just how dangerous and difficult that journey had to be. The trip was approximately 90 miles between Nazareth and Bethlehem that would have taken place most likely over 10 days (leaving December 15th to be perfect for the beatdown). A pregnant Mary, and husband Joseph traveled all of this distance, outside, while moving through the Jordan river, through the hills of Jerusalem, and battling animals, potential sickness, and weather the entire time. This is how the following was developed.

    We picked up coupons and moseyed to the beginning of rich mans loop, where approximately 15 light poles are spaced about 40 yards apart.

    YHC instructed the PAX that there would be 3 alternating methods of carrying the coupon between the poles as follows:

    Mary- carry at stomach height, as if pregnant
    Joseph- On the shoulder, as if carrying wineskins filled with water
    Donkey – Rifle carry as if you were the donkey and carrying Mary

    Each light post would have a “hazard” of which Mary and Joseph could have encountered that included an exercise. Most exercises were performed OYO except for a couple. The following were performed at each light pole with the alternating carry methods (Mary, Joseph, Donkey) in between. The slower carry between had plenty of time to discuss just how tuff #tuesdaytuff (last time) was, especially without Paradox.

    Light Pole “obstacles/hazards”:
    Walk through the Jordan River – 10 Bonnie Blairs (the hard way)
    Climb the hills outside Jerusalem – 20 Mountain climbers – in cadence
    Tame your donkey – 10 Jack ass Webbs- this was a burpee but with a donkey kick during the thruster
    Be strong enough to fight off animals #1 – 25 Merkins
    Sleep on your back on the ground – 25 coupon presses
    Lift Mary on the donkey – 30 squats (no coupon)
    Fight off more animals – 30 coupon curls
    Carry the water overhead – 15 OHP
    Outrun the animals – Sprint with coupon
    Move through the jungle/heavily forested Jordan Valley – 15 Jungle Boy Squats
    Wear your big boy pants – 20 Big Boys
    Battle Sickness – 15 Burpees
    Hold the weight of the world on your shoulders – 10 Perfect Merkins
    Give God the glory – 25 Heals to Heaven
    Turned away at the Inn – Run to next light pole (this light pole was out making the reference perfect)
    Have baby Jesus! – 50 LBCs

    Thang 2: Song
    “Jingle Bell Rock” – Hold Al Gore for duration and squat on Jingle
    This made the PAX looks like whack-a-mole moles with how many “jingles” there were and how uncoordinated we can look at times.

    2 minutes of Mary with Freddie Mercury’s and Penguins

    COT and Goose prayed us out. Thanks for the laughs to go along with this one. I hate to admit it but the mumble chatter only added to the fun. As always, enjoyed being in the gloom with these guys.