Tag: Colonial

PLANK FLOATERS AND BALL BUSTERS – from Fast Tax

Twelve PAX rolled up to the Uptowner for a very humid and gloomy Game Day.
After dispensing with the disclaimer, we moseyed toward the rock pile, curiosity evident on the faces of the PAX…What does Fast Tax have in that bag?

Warmups were a sprinkle of typical Uptowner fare: SSHs, Arm Circle variants, Imperial Walkers, and, not to be dissuaded, Crab Merkins.

Sufficiently warmed, YHC selected the fenced in baseball field for the debut of his new game. Amidst the eager anticipation of the PAX, YHC pulled a large balloon out of his big black ball bag and introduced Plank Floaters.

Plank Floaters begins with PAX forming a plank circle while one person hits the balloon into the air and immediately gets back into a plank position. The PAX to his right must jump up and hit the balloon back up, before it touches the ground, and get back in plank, with the cycle repeating around the circle. If the balloon hits the ground, everyone does 5 burpees and then play resumes. As is typical of YHC’s creations, this was a work in progress with a few mods made along the way (direction reverses after a save, 1 PAX in ready position, 3 burpees, etc.).

We headed to the kid’s playground picnic table for the next festivity of the morning –
BALL BUSTER.

Ball Buster is a combination of Capture the Flag and Dodge Ball, except there are no boundaries. PAX form two teams. Each side has a blue ball (referred to as the Flag), which must be positioned at a pre-identified location on each team’s base and each PAX on the team is given one non-blue ball. The object is to steal the opposing sides blue ball (i.e. their flag) and bring it back to your base. The team scored against has to do three burpees.
Similar to dodge ball, PAX can use the ball to hit or “tag” an opposing player or block an incoming ball. If you are hit, or the person you are throwing at catches the ball, you have to immediately drop your ball and do two burpees or five merkins.
PAX can only hold one ball at a time. In order to pick up the flag, you must drop the ball if you are carrying one. You can pick up a tagged PAX’s ball and throw it away, but only after dropping your own.

However, when carrying the opposing team’s flag, it can be strategically used as a regular ball to hit or tag an opposing player. If the opposing team retrieves their flag (b/c the carrier was hit and had to drop the ball), it must be brought or thrown back to base and placed in the same pre-identified spot. A player cannot just run around with the Flag in their possession.
Halfway through the game, the teams should switch sides – which we forgot to do…

Having dispensed with the game rules, play commenced.
Team 1: Booboo, Colonial, Fast Tax, Logo, McGyver, Triple Shift
Team 2: Architect (FNG), Charmin, Cyber Cajun, Hawg Cycle, Mayhem, Pool Boy
What began as an even match quickly descended into a one sided game as Team 2 carried the day 5-3.

At some point toward the end we were joined by Vagabond.
With time running out, we headed to COT for Name-o-rama, Naming of the FNG (Architect), announcements, intentions, and prayer.

Thanks for the fellowship and allowing YHC the chance to engage his creative side!

SYITG!

0

December 10, 2022
Fear and Self-Loathing in El Diablo – from Bolt

After a cold-induced break and a quick trip out of town, nine days lapsed between posts so yours truly was full of self-loathing and fearful of phoning in the Q. Hopefully the PAX didn’t feel that way after I decided to try out an idea I’ve been toying with: a Yin/Yang themed workout taking advantage of the universal truth of equal and opposing forces that keep all things in balance.

Mosey to rock pile, cue obligatory highly curated playlist (which began with the classic “Rapper’s Delight”) and warmup then carry a medium rock to the pavilion, grab some bench. YHC explained each round would consist of an exercise done as we always do (Yin version), followed by a modified version that incorporated doing it from an equal but opposite perspective (Yang version). After doing the first two exercises in cadence we switched to OYO for the designated reps on the Yin and IC for the Yang.

Warmup IC: SSH, arm circles forward/back, tclaps, seal claps, Moroccan night clubs, self love (all 20x); Toy soldiers, Hillbillies (15x)

YIN-YANG:
Squats(rock)/Yang (no rock): hold bottom of squat for 3 count and push ground away, squeeze glutes at top for each rep

Merkins/Yang: hold mission impossible for 3 count and extend arms with plank jack at top for each rep

Reverse lunges R/Yang: hold left leg at 90 degrees/R leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch L elbow-R knee

Derkins/Yang: one derkin to Peter Parker to derkin for each rep

Reverse lunges L: hold right leg at 90 degrees/L leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch R elbow-L knee

Irkins/Yang: one irkin to Parker Peter to irkin for each rep

Side lunges R then L: focus on driving through lunged heel, “pushing Earth away from you” on the up

Diamond merkins/Yang: diamond mission impossible for 3 count, extend arms with shoulder taps at top

Return rocks to pile, mosey to flag for COT, etc., welcoming FNG>Satchmo who happens to be my 17yo. Thanks, men, for joining me in the gloom and hope you enjoyed the suck as much as I enjoyed the Q. Until next time…

+2

July 7, 2021
Your Burpees are Served
YHC was looking forward to the El Diablo Q, it’s a great addition to the week. 13 Pax posted for a solid beat down, but first the disclaimer followed by a mosey to the field for a warmup.
- SSH IC x 31
- HB IC x 20
- Abe Vigodas IC x 10
- Grass Grabbers IC x 10
- Peter Parker IC x 20
- Mountain Climbers IC x 20
- Arm circles, IC x 24 total
With the Warmup complete, time to get busy! EMOM style!
- 10 Burpees x 10 minutes, the quicker you finish the more rest you get!
Four Corners is next. Start at the corner of the Goal line and the end zone.
- Catalina Wine Mixers IC x 10
- Lunge walk 100 yards to next corner
- Crunchy Frogs IC x 15
- Bear Crawl 53.3 yards (160 feet) to next corner
- Low Slow Squats IC x 20
- Lunge Walk 100 yards to next corner
- Merkins IC x 10 x 4 count
- Bear Crawl 53.3 yards to starting point
- Jump squats IC x 15
Ring of Fire
- Hold the Plank, 10 merkins each around the Ring, 5 merkins counted out loud, next Pax starts, hold the plank on completion of 10
- Rinse and Repeat with Hand Release merkins
Mary
- Tin Snips
- Dying Cockroach
Mosey back to Flag for COT

NMM
- 100 burpees before 6 am is a pretty good accomplishment
- YHC can never do EMOM alone, it’s good to be held accountable
SYITG

+4
November 18, 2020
Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk
YHC began Wednesday morning like any other Wednesday morning with a quality 45 minute beatdown at Popeyes (this Wednesday led by the always dangerous Darkwing Duck). YHC’s thoughts quickly turned to the Gnarly Nutria as a nutria was spotted by Hokie Pokey running in the grass near the Pax. YHC took this as a strong omen for an upcoming victory for the World. The native nutria had come out from its hole to bless the World on the morning of the Gnarly Nutria.

YHC’s confidence continued to grow as he arrived at the Gnarly Nutria to see members of the World surrounding him as the World came out in force. Surely the World would continue their winning streak and extend their dominance over the Uptowners on their home turf. Reluctant Yankee shouted out the rules and scoring system and led the racers to the starting line.

A record 91 men lined up for the 4th running of the Gnarly Nutria. 51 for the World. 28 for the Uptowners. 12 for the Northshore. After an odd 2 minute countdown, the runners were off in the humidity and the heat for 5.4 miles of sweaty, stupid joy.

As YHC rounded the first turn of the Gnarly Nutria with Tua and Heisenberg by his side, he his extreme confidence in a victory began to fade and he knew the world might be in trouble in spite of their superior numbers. A mass of Uptowners burst forward past him with a speed the World would be unable to match.

Then the funk hit. YHC doesn’t want to know what the Uptowners are doing in their fabled Audubon park but the stink of the park was strong last night and surely slowed down the time of the World and the NorthShore who aren’t accustomed to the Uptown Funk.

Flatline can hold his head high and claim the title “Fastest Man in F3NOLA” for the next 12 months. Flatline finished the Gnarly Nutria IV in a blistering fast 33 minutes. ESPN8 came in second with 35 minutes. In-Time came in third with a time of 38 minutes. Mulligan finished fourth with 39 minutes and Isobar rounded out the top 5 with 39 minutes and 40 seconds.

4 of the top 5 were Uptowners with In-Time the top finisher for the NorthShore and Shuffles coming in 7th with the top place for the World. Thanks to their domination in speed, the Uptowners overcame the World’s superior numbers.

The Uptowners won Gnarly Nutria IV with 326 points.

The World came in second with 260 points

Northshore came in third with a respectable 127 points coming from only 12 runners.

Tripleshift wins the award for most significant run of the night as he rucksaked the race in honor of Terabyte who went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ earlier this year.

Bogey wins the award for most beautiful face of the night. Thanks for keeping score and being the pretty face waiting for us at the finish line.

The After Party

The Pax of 91 – 5 gathered together for post-race Name-O-Rama and the announcements of the winner and top finishers. The Pax began with a moment of silence and prayer thanking God for Terabyte and the role he played in F3NOLA.

Followed by a far too long Counterama, followed by a far too long Name-O-Rama, the Pax named 9 FNGs. I am guessing that is a new F3NOLA FNG record. Welcome to Mallrats, Bangs, Johnny Football, Polaroid, Mumbles, Body Shots, Incandescent, Apollo, and Hot Pants.

The Pax gathered together for the infamous sweaty ball-o-man as YHC closed the Pax out in prayer thanking God for the evening and asking Him to use F3 to impact the lives of more men in NOLA. F3 means so much to all of us and may we not hog and hide the friendship, accountability, and growth we have received in F3. Continue to find those men at your work, neighborhood, and in your families who are isolated and struggling. The average American man has less than one friend. YHC has 91. You have 91. Pass this friendship on to others.

Your Humble Correspondent,

Rev Sox

The Results
1. Flatline
2. ESPN8
3. In Time
4. Mulligan
5. Isobar
6. Waterpik
7. Shuffles
8. Turbo Tax
9. Cavalier
10. Mahatma-Ice
11. Screw Top
12. Cowbell
13. Tinkles
14. Saban
15. Fetch
16. Baby Bjorn
17. FNG Alex
18. El Guapo
19. Sea Biscuit
20. Sandbar
21. Rudy
22. Ya Mom’n Dem
23. 86
24. Shorty
25. SOGO
26. Jadaveon
27. Two Yutes
28. FNG Deano?
29. Backdraft
30. Jesus Juice
31. Nip Tuck
32. FNG
33. Heisenberg
34. Speedy Gonzalez
35. Quarter Pipe
36. Bartman
37. Rev Sox
38. Tua
39. FNG
40. Shooter
41. FNG
42. Pai Gow
43. Amnesia
44. Bongo
45. FracSac
46. Ocho
47. FNG
48. Einstein
49. Nine Lives
50. Kuch
51. Kiss
52. Tool
53. Baywatch
54. Gideon
55. Chewy
56. Reluctant Yankee
57. Gumby
58. FNG
59. PoBoy
60. Woz
61. FNG
62. FNG
63. War Eagle
64. Tanner
65. FNG
66. Hawg
67. Surge
68. Chowda
69. Chips
70. Darkwing Duck
71. Hokey Pokey
72. Triple Shift
73. Jose 10k
74. Bushwacker
75. Brown Bag
76. Earmuffs
77. Squeal
78. Moist
79. DaParish
80. Uncle Si
81. Colonial
82. Mambi
83. Short Bus
84. Left Eye
85. King Kong
86. Amnesty
87. Seaman
88. Cash Bar
89. Gold Bar
90. FNG
91. FNG
+29
July 18, 2019
[City] Park it like it’s hot
When I woke up on Saturday morning, I was feeling a little sore from Okwata & Wolfpack Mountain on Thursday & Friday. But once I got out to City Park & stretched a bit, my watch hit 6:30am, and it was time to roll. We mosey’d over to the peristyle for the warmup.

Warm Up:
- Self Love – 15 in cadence
- Freddy Mercury’s – 20 in cadence
- Side Straddle Hops – 25 in cadence
- Plank Jacks – 25 in cadence
- Arm circles – 10 forward, 10 backward
The Thang:

After the warmup, we ran to Marconi & back to the peristyle. Once back at the peristyle we did:
- 20 partner push ups
- 25 partner leg throws (ab exercise)
Then we ran to Marconi & back again, and when we got back to the peristyle we did:
- 10 inchworm burpees
- 25 box cutters
After the box cutters were done, we ran to the fountain. At the fountain, we did:
- Fountain box jumps: each PAX got the choice of doing either 10 box jumps onto the top ledge of the fountain or 20 box jumps onto the bottom ledge of the fountain
After the Box jumps, we partnered up and did:
- Partner 1 – 100 Rocky Balboas on the museum steps
- Partner 2 – dips on the fountain
- Then we switched
After this we mosey’d to the side of NOMA and did:
- Partner 1 – 60 mountain climbers (2 is 1; where each leg pump counted as 1)
- Partner 2 – People’s chair against the wall
- Then we switched
After this, we mosey’d to the track & did some mary:
- LBC’s – 20
- Flutter kicks – 20 cadence count
- Dying cockroaches – 20 cadence count
- Levels (6 inches, 12 inches, 18 inches) – 20 seconds each level
After the mary, we hit a lap around the track & then mosey’d back to the flag for the count-off, name-o-rama, announcements, intentions & prayer. Thanks for posting, fellas; I enjoyed grinding through the beatdown with y’all!
+4
June 24, 2019
NOLA No Call Beatdown – Northshore Edition
It was great seeing the South Shore on the North Shore. I am sure they were happy it was not at 7pm, in tank tops, and 30 degrees!!!! Thanks for making the trip across the bridge to take part of our beatdown. Let’s get this thing going!

Warmarama: Toe Touches – 15 IC, Windmills – 15 IC, IWs- 15 IC, SS Hops- 15 IC, Seal Jacks 15 – IC, High Knees 15 – IC, Butt Kicks 15 – IC, Eight Count Body Builders 10 – IC

Mosey….

11’s : Start at the seawall by doing 1 step with each leg. Bear crawl to the street, and do 10 plank jacks. Lunge walk back to the sea wall. Rinse and repeat, increasing the step ups until you get to 10 and decreasing the plank jacks until you get to 1.

Mosey….

With it being the eve of Superbowl 51, where our beloved Saints received the shaft, I thought it would be fitting to incorporate a part of our beatdown dedicated to the Black and Gold. All pacs were asked trivia questions regarding The Saints. An exercise was performed that was coinciding with the answers. The knowledge of the pacs regarding out team was quite impressive.
1. How long was Garret Bartley’s field goal that sent the Saints to the super bowl in 2009? Answer: 40 yards, Exercise: 40 Jump Squats OYO
2. In what year did the Saints play their first season in the Super Dome? Answer: 1975, Exercise: 75 Air Presses OYO
3. What is the most touchdowns that a Saints player has scored in a season? Answer: 18, The original exercise was 18 burpees. Due to The Channel Mullet knowing that the Saints player who scored these 18 touchdowns was Dalton Hillard, we only had to do 17 burpees, IC. Thank You Channel Mullet!!!!
4. What team did the Saints give their first victory after starting 0 and 26? Answer: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Exercise: 26 Merkins
5. On what date did the Saints beat the Rams for their first playoff win? Answer: Dec 30, 2000, Exercise: 30 American Hammers IC
Merkin Wave – with a twist

All pacs take the plank position, starting with THE Manny, do one Merkin. Going in a clockwise direction, each pac does one Merkin while all other pacs hold plank position. Rinse and repeat this 4 times. In between each wave, all pacs move a 1/4 turn to the right in a plank position. This is Butt Splice’s absolutely favorite exercise on the F3 website.

Mosey …..

Mary- LBCs – 20 IC, Freddie Mercuries – 10 IC, Flutter Kicks – 10 IC, Leg Lifts- 10 IC, Crunchie Frogs – 10 IC

Break into 4 groups of 6, each group sprints back to flag after giving the group in front of them about a 40 yard head start.

Welcome to the 3 FNGs that joined the F3 Nation today, Celtic Warrior, Hogie, and Shrimp Boots. Glad I could Q your first of many beatdowns.

Circle of Trust -Butt Splice prayed us out

Great F2 at coffeterria afterwards.

+9
February 2, 2019
Mea Culpa Can Be Hell
YHC did a no-show the prior Saturday. He was in Oregon, and neglected to check that he was the Q. Bad pax, bad pax. Thank the Sky-Q that Rudy wasn’t there to remind everyone. Tclaps Rudy for your fartsackery. So when 86 called out for a switcheroo Q, YHC had but one option: to Q. YHC needed some punishment, so that meant the same for the rest of the PAX. Just think of it as a #DownPainMent. About six or so of the PAX broke off for the Iron Challenge on the Great Lawn. The rest of the PAX moseyed little farther up the Great Lawn for:

First Circle of Pain:
- Side Straddle Hops: 20xIC
- Hillbillies: 20xIC
- Around The World (or Daft Punk), in a kinda tribute to Side Effects: 12ishxICish (YHC was looking like Cowbell, there)
- Merkins: 20xIC
- Mountain Climbers: 20xIC
- Peter Parkers: 20xIC
Mosey to Tool’s Wall of Pain:
- Calf Raises: 20xIC
- Calf Raises with toes pointed out (or in, because your YHC said one but did the other): 20xIC
- Calf Raises the opposite way (toes pointed in, or out, because your YHC was reminded that he got it backwards): 20xIC
- Left Leg Dips (bring left leg to the ground): 20xIC
- Right Leg Digs (bring right leg to the ground, obviously): 20xIC
- Monkey Humpers (on the ground, not the wall): 20xIC
Mosey to the Mini-Foundry and split up into several groups. AMRAP for dips, burpees, leg lifts, big boy situps, pull ups, and steps up with a mosey aways away and back for the timer. Rotate around until each group has done each. Then a slow mosey to the beginning of Roosevelt Mall for a better tribute to Side Effects: Route 66. The PAX split into two groups, one up one side of the mall and the other up the other. At the first bench do either one erkin or one derkin or one LBC (but a real-ass LBC not a half-ass LBC), then mosey to the next bench for two, then to the third bench for three, etc. to the eleventh bench for eleven–for a total of 66. After some water, mosey back to the Great Lawn for

Circle of Mary:
- Dying Cockroaches: 20xIC
- Flutter Kicks: 20xIC
- Real Freddy Mercuries (or is it Mercurys?): 20xIC
- Hello Dollys (or is it Dollies): 20xIC
- Putins: 20xIC
- Rosalitas: 20xIC
- Box Cutters: 20xIC
It was getting late and Triple Shift was moseying like the Q, so no time for Dr W. Sorry, I promise it for my next Q. Mosey back to the flag for COT. Tclaps for two FNGs. It’s not us old farts who keep F3 going, it’s the steady flow of FNGs who keep it fresh and inviting. I followed the logic for how we named Colonial: he lives in River Ridge, or it is Harahan? [Sorry, YHC doesn’t venture deep into Jefferson Parish.] So of course the defunct Colonial County Club in the middle fit perfectly. How we got to Phoebes was a little more circuitous: the FNG is a physical therapist, so someone suggested Phoebe from Friends, whereupon the FNG reminded that she is a massage therapist, whereupon the PAX then went down too many rabbit holes for YHC’s oxygen-deprived brain to follow for other names, so he opted for Phoebes. [The AMA is conducting a study to correlate the lack of oxygen after a post with the gnarlier an F# name, but the results should be obvious: the less oxygen, the better the name.]

Jingle Vader

+5
August 20, 2018