F3 New Orleans

Tag: #CSAUP

  • Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground

    So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.

    First: Special Shoutouts —

    Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX

    Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.

    Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!

    Now onto the beatdown:

    0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.

    0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.

    Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:

    The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird

    U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer

    Some Moby Song —Moby Dick

    Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander

    The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo

    To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.

    So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500

    Halfway home by coffeeteria!

    PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.

    PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s

    6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)

    …And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.

    Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.

    For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!

  • The Road Ahead: A Pre-Hundo Adventure

    Was it as epic as expected?  You bet.  There were packs of wild dogs, gators lying in wait in the shallow ditches of Abita Springs, machete-wielding vagabonds hiding under the overpass, and, of course, 9 pairs of utterly destroyed feet.  

    As you might expect, this group of men started out strong.  After a quick COT where Tank prayed  us in with blessings and thoughts of safety, we set out.  At this point there was still a good deal of revelry happening on Girod Street, where Sips of the Season was winding down and more than a few men were teetering in and out of bars.  Caught one doing the sidewalk, using the hedges to try and keep upright.  Little did we know we’d have roughly the same gait by the end of the night.

    But we passed the revelry with a smile and a bounce in our step, ready to tackle the road ahead.  Gideon – the Navy Seal of Netflix and Pizza – got the party started with a killer mix, and we were off.   Running now at a brisk pace, more than a few of us looked around and wondered, “Wait, didn’t we say we were walking this thing?” 

    Getting to the Abita Trailhead (approx 9.5 miles in) was relatively quick.  Took a short break (with open facilities near midnight, no less), and forged ahead.  Now here’s where things started getting dicey.  Jose and Moby had decided early on that they’d keep at a brisk walking pace, and so the rest of the overzealous gang started seeing a bit of separation from them.  A few of us would run back and check in but eventually they seemed to be going pretty steady, and so everyone just kept moving.  Shortly after hitting the Abita trailhead, the trace goes pretty dark, a little less residential, and a lot more wooded.  Being the merry band of travelers that we were, we happened to rouse a few wild dogs in the woods.  Tank was in the lead when the barking began, and when it was clear they were following us, he quickly circled back to the group ready for war.  The dogs stayed with us for a block or so, obscured by the woods, with Tank flashing his lights in and catching the glint of at least 5 pairs of eyes.  As you can imagine, Tank was fired up.  He flipped his headlamp into strobe mode (hoping to give our canine friends a seizure, or at the very least some confusion), Speedy pulled out a small knife, and there was a good half hour discussion on the weapons that would need to be crafted for the return trip through that section (Spears, bats with barbed wire, you get the idea).  The dogs probably sensed all the testosterone and fell back as we forged ahead.   (Either that or they were simply residential dogs behind a wire fence that couldn’t we couldn’t see, but hey, not a theory YHC was ready to verify!)

    Soon thereafter we reached The Gipper and collectively felt pretty darn good about ourselves.  Roughly halfway and everyone was still feeling fresh.   Moby had been picked up by Vickie in Abita Springs and it was time to check in with Jose, who had now been traveling solo for a few miles.  Tank was quite worried about the pack of wild dogs, and sent Jose an urgent text message warning him of the dangers ahead. Unfortunately, some other “Richard” in Tank’s address book would be receiving that midnight message about the wild dogs of Abita, os Tank was not wearing his reading glasses at the time. For some reason, YHC imagines that other Richard will not be that surprised.

    Hammer kept it old school and broke out the Big League Chew, and after another short break, the men turned back to head for Mandeville.  Covington turned out to be just as active as Girod street had been hours ago – and, with all the drunken revelry surrounding us, more than a few men were reminded of the time we bear crawled down Bourbon Street for the Grow Ruck. 

    Apparently Jose had turned on the heat after passing Abita as we caught him just a few yards shy of the infamous Butter Krisp and, for a brief moment, the group was in tact.  At some point YHC got a little too close to a gator, who’s loud dash into the ditch sent me nearly knocking over Wacker. (A scene reminiscent of that Captain Sparkles surprise attack at the Scramble.).  

    Tank, Jose, and YHC eventually slowed down while the rest of the gang moved onward at a steady clip.

    Jose was undaunted by all Frank’s talk of rabid dogs, and in fact, he started heckling them as we got close.  Tank tried to quiet him and Jose said hey, if a dog attacked him, he’d sue the hell out of the owners.  Tank explained that it was a poor area and he probably wouldn’t get much.  Jose said, “That’s fine, I’ll liquidate their assets.”

    Tank’s reply?

    “I’ll liquidate those dogs’ nuts if I have to.”  Cue the grunting and strobing headlamps.

    Meanwhile, Speedy hit a physical and mental wall at Koop Drive and wasn’t sure he’d be able to continue.  The men stopped to support him, but not for long, as Speedy drew down deep, found some reserves, and pushed ahead.  

    Tank, Jose and I made it through Abita without incident, and, after telling the legend of the machete man who lives under the overpass, we started approaching Koop Dr.  Once there, Jose told Tank and I to turn it on, that he’d be fine the rest of the way.  

    Took a bit to catch up with the rest of the men, who had adopted a new strategy in our absence – run a song / walk a song.   This was a total crapshoot with Gideon’s mix, knowing that there’d an 8-minute Rebirth song hitting at some point.  But it was a great distraction and we quickly found our way to Grandmother’s tunnel for a photo op, before hitting the Mandeville trailhead.

    Another break, Butt Splice bandaged a badly blistered foot, and onward we went.

    It all got a bit blurry at this point, but here are a few things I remember: Tank and Bush passing me at the lakefront for their final mile, doing it at an under 8 minute pace;  the heroic image of Speedy, who thought he was done 10 miles back, running to Survivor with fists in the air to the finish line;  Splice, feet wounded but patiently awaiting the sunrise that would bring his hour-long Q.

    The entire group finally laid out on the lakefront lawn, just in time for Garfield to show up, stretching for the a Saturday morning pre-thang.  To no one’s surprise, Tank ran the pre-thang like he hadn’t just run/walked 33 miles.  And then, Splice Q’d the hourlong beatdown like the beast that he is, and unabashedly included many, many box jumps.

    33 miles. 1/3 of our final goal, and it was hard. Really hard. The road ahead to the hundo is dark, and yet because of you guys, YHC is undaunted. This night made us stronger, more prepared, and more knowledgeable. Most of all, it made us realize the incredible fortitude of the men around us. Success or failure, Hundo, here we come.

  • The 4th annual 12 days of Christmas

    The 4th annual 12 days of Christmas

    At 5:27pm a lone F-18 streaked over the sky and I wondered if that could possibly be Peppa.  After reading my texts post-beatdown – yes – it was – we had our first F-18 flyover in the history of F3 NOLA!  Thanks Peppa.  You get credit in the bb for attending. 

    While waiting around in the brewery to start– I was able to try some powerful (or power draining if you ask Brown Bag) coffee.   I brought my 2.0s – one of them studied for exams while the other one Reluctant Tiger waited eagerly for another chance to do some F3. 

    With the moving of start time to 6pm and the rush hour traffic around the brewery the crowd was slowly building for a decent sized beatdown.  86 had already set up his Jambalaya and bread pudding.  Bartman delivered chicken for the kids.  Also at this time El Wire arrived with a ton of Felipes.  At 555 pm there were about 15 people ready to go start the beatdown.  At 6pm exactly we set out for the Annunication Center Park.  Between the Paradise Park trailer keg and the parking lot we picked up about 15 more PAX.  By the time we arrived at the park we were a full assortment of 37 PAX looking for a 12 days of Christmas beatdown. 

    We moseyed over to the Annunciation Park – and we circled up.  The mosey was treacherous with potholes and traffic but we were rewarded at the park with lights on.  Immediately we got down to business.

    Day 1 – 1 Burpee, Day 2 – 2 Jump Squats and a burpee, Day 3 – 3 Hand release merks, 2 jump squats and 1 burpee, Day 4 4 plank jacks, 3 hand release merks, 2 jumps squats and 1 burpee.  You get the progression now…  Day 5 Russian Twists, Day 6 Dying Roaches, Day 7 Mtn Climbers, Day 8 Peter Parkers, Day 9 Jumpling Jacks, Day 10 Mat Jumps Day 11 Low Country Crabs and Day 12 12 burpees!   We let Spokes from FIA close out the exercise with a 1 min plank hold.

    We did a circle of trust and named some of the new guys.  Bongo keeping his 2.0s with the drum theme got more cowbell and snare.    Da Parish keeping his 2.0s with Chalmatia themed names has Beauregard and Chal-mini.  Sogo has Sunny.  Brown Bag’s M is now Paradise or Pair of Dice. 

    Sorry if I missed anyone in the list of PAX – let me know in the comments and I will add you.

    The beatdown had 37 PAX.   The party had over 70 PAX mixed between F3 and FIA.   Great turnout!   We also had over 20 presents for Operation Sweet Tooth – which doesn’t include the presents that were directly sent via Amazon.    Thanks to everyone who brought food.   Medulla I think there was going to be a fist fight over the last pork tenderloin/brie/ cranberry slider.  Thanks to Brown Bag who covered the first round of beers at the taps.  El Wire for the Felipe’s hook up!  86 for the ridiculous bread pudding and the jambalaya.  Bartman for the Popeye’s delivery.    Thanks to everyone.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. 




  • Troubled Obstacle Course

    https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipPwZ0y9B0sfNdy23o68J8g67rVOZwtgINDYZkYIvHuauAual6aUtyfxSqX7b4CcQQ?key=S1FIQm1ZQXVZN3BWa1VxN0tWRTRNT2MybzlwaW5B

    The Goal is 4 rounds we fell short we.

    We will be back

    The goals is to complete a 5k plus 1,000 reps in under a hour

    adding a video that has all the details on rounds and Reps.

    Next time planing on swapping Bur-pee Broad Jumps for walking lunges

    Have a great week.  Go Get Some…

    https://youtu.be/Ma2hrWvvWjI

     

  • NOTC Two Miler + F2 + 12oz Curls

    For the second year, F3 NOLA helped out The New Orleans Track Club with one of their Summer Series 2 mile Wednesday evening races.  Unlike last year’s near-washout, this time we were greeted with pleasant conditions and a nice breeze.  Lots of the regular PAX showed up representing F3 and a few occasional gloomers who were out there as well bringing the total to about 15 guys.  T-claps to the PAX for efficient teamwork on the speedy setup of the tent, flag, signs, Gatorade, etc. and helping out our friends with FiA as well as The Jambalaya Girl….we run like a well-oiled machine!  We enjoyed some F2 before the race and catching up with a few of the PAX that some of us don’t get to see very often.

    The Race:

    Blast off on the track around the festival grounds with a few zig zags through the park.  The breeze and lack of humidity helped many clip along a brisk pace.  Many of us surprised ourselves with really good times, some PRs were set….I guess this F3 stuff really works.  T-claps to the many youth and families who were out there running the race.

    Post-Race:

    Our tent slung out cups of Gatorade to the masses while many of us re-hydrated with the foamy goodness being poured by NOTC….lots of 12 oz curls being done.  The race participants were also treated to a nice spread of grub including jambalaya, bananas, chee-weez, and more, all made possible by the sponsorship of groups like F3.  We managed to get some EH-ing in as well, including some guy who’s email address includes the word “smurf.”  T-claps for round two of #teamwork on the breakdown and loading.  T-claps to Amnesty for hanging in there till the very end and enjoying one last beer with in YHC’s garage as we unloaded.

    Thanks to those who donated.  We have funds left over that will go to something F3 related, possibly a website upgrade that I’m told we may soon do.

    Thanks to those who came out to support F3 and NOTC.  Visit runnotc.org for dates on the next three Summer Series races along with other events.  They put on the Spillway run which several of us are signed up for.

    A good time was had by all.

    Tool

  • NOLA GrowRuck #2 – Lessons Learned

    4 Pax arrived at the corner of St. Charles and 1st at 6:00 am on our rest day for a ruck tour.  Roots determined that shoulder straps should be wider than a pencil and demonstrated how a ruck can become a tourniquet. – lesson learned.  Bourbon street is not a pretty sight or a pleasant smell on Sunday mornings and should be avoided.  – lesson learned.  It is not a good idea to try to EH a guy who’s vocabulary is limited to “Rasta” – lesson learned.  We covered 7.69 miles in 2:16.  Need to pick up the pace – lesson learned

  • New Orleans Tough Mudder

    Let me introduce myself.  I am Lee LaFleur’s lily white, cleaner than a Seventh Heaven Marathon, baseball cap.  Lee and I have had some good times together.  I often partner with my buddy Shades to give him that cool, casual look.  I can’t count the number of Friday nights, after one too many, he’s flipped me around backwards and taken his “homies” from the hood for a spin on the golf cart; cutting through old ladies’ yards and hopping curbs on our way to Bud’s Broiler.  Or all the times he’s turned me sideways and turned up Q93 on his way to the Hardware Store.  Lee and I have been thick as thieves, which is what makes this past Saturday so confusing….

    Saturday Morning (Early, but not that early)

    Good morning Lee!  What’s up.  Where we going today?  Too late for F3, thank goodness.  Please don’t say we are going running.  You know I hate the sweat ring.  It stinks.  Let’s grab shades and take the family to the park, show off the wifee, make all the ladies jealous…you know how we roll you handsome devil.  You’re looking kind of sporty.  I really hope we aren’t running…

    Academy Sports Parking Lot

    Why in the world are we meeting a bunch of dudes in the Academy Sports parking lot?  Why are they all putting on sunscreen?  Are we going to the beach with a bunch of dudes?  Who’s the Asian guy in the UPS truck?  Wait that’s not a UPS truck.  What is that thing?  Is something illegal happening?  Let’s not get in the big unmarked vehicle with the stout looking Asian gangster.  Go to the other vehicle, it seems safer….No Lee, no, c’mon!….Oh balls!  Do you realize we are headed to the westbank?  What have you gotten us into?  I am now certain this is something illegal.  You have a wife and kids to think about dude.  Things can’t be that bad…why are they listening to Stevie Winwood? And why is it so loud? Who are these idiots?

    The Thang

    We are turning on Torque Lane.  For some reason that has the cross fit looking guy really excited.  Premium Parking – sweet, the stout looking Asian mobster must really be somebody.  There’s lots of people here so maybe this isn’t something illegal.  Please tell me it’s a Kenny Chesney concert – get shades and push up your sleeves.  Show those F3 guns off my man.  People will think your his brother…Okay, the signs say Tough Mudder…that sounds Completely Stupid and Utterly Pointless.  What’s that mean – Mudder?

    The Starting Gate

    Ok, these dudes are circling up to pray, take me off, take me off. That was kind of cool, a group of men praying in the midst of a bunch of strangers.  You don’t see that everyday.  Okay, this guy is telling us to take a knee in some gravel, seems painful.  He’s a good speaker though.  He’s getting me pumped up.  I’m still not sure what we are doing, but I love these people around me.  Whatever we are doing we are going to get it done together.  Hoo-rah!…Ah c’mon, we’re running?  Try not to get real sweaty, ok?

    Obstacle #1 – Pitfall

    What is this?  These idiots are running straight into that mudhole.  Alright, let’s veer to the side and go around.  Wait, Lee, what are you doing?  Why would you run straight into that?!?  How could you not see that?  It’s waist deep.  Okay, let’s keep your hands clean.  Okay, there goes that idea.  Whatever you do, don’t touch me.

    More mud.  Jump over this one please.  No need to get muddier.  Wait, the one they call Kimchi lost a shoe.  Let’s wait for him.  #NoManLeftBehind.  A little up a head a women saw how good I looked and asked to take my picture.  Some of the other idiots joined us.

    Obstacle #2 – Skidmarked

    Looks like a wall we need to go up and over.  I take it we aren’t going around it.  Our buddies are at the top to help pull us over.  That’s nice.  Thanks fellows, but don’t touch me.  Your hands are filthy.

    Obstacle #3 – Hero Carry

    Here Lee and his friends partnered up to carry each other about 100 yards.  There was one poor sap that was odd man out – the guy that lost his shoe earlier.  He got stuck with some big dude he didn’t know – he looked to be about a size 8 hat size, which probably puts him around 240.  Well done Kimchi.  Luckily the dude riding on Lee’s back kept his grubby paws off me. #StillShining

    Obstacle #4 – Devil’s Beard

    Looks like two cargo nets laying on top of each other that you have to crawl between.  Fortunately for us some of Lee’s buddies were in the cargo net, lifting the top net and giving us plenty of room.  No worries as I made it through without even a scrape.  These guys seem alright.  #LivingThird

    Obstacle #5 – Ladder to Hell

    And we are stopped.  We turn into the woods and a line of people waiting for something.  Can’t tell what yet.  It does give everyone time to mention how remarkably clean and white I am.  That makes me feel good.  The guy they call Rudy keeps counting everyone.  He must be some type of chaperone.  Lee, tell him not to worry, just tell everyone to follow me – I’m a beacon shining above the fray…Finally we make it to the obstacle.  It’s nothing but a wide ladder made out of a few 2x10s.  Not nearly worth the Disney length line we waited in.  At least it gave people time to admire my brightness.

    Obstacle #6 – Tire(d) Yet

    A bunch of tires laying on the ground like a junior high football practice.  If the question was “is my boy tired yet” the answer is a definitive NO!

    Obstacle #7 – Haha Ditch

    Alright, this ain’t cool.  It’s just a giant muddy ditch.  This seems very dangerous.  Why would you wear a beautiful white hat to something like this?!?  No wonder they are all calling you Tool.  Just go around it please,  Noooo!  You jerk.  Be careful, and watch your hands.  I think I have mud on me.  Can you see?  Never mind.  Don’t touch me, you’re filthy.

    Look, the one they call Yankee wore a hat, but he wore one that no one would ever care about.  He’s obviously the smartest one in the bunch.  They should make him the leader.

    Obstacle #8 – Pyramid Scheme.

    This is crazy looking.  A big slanted wall, with a waist deep ditch in front of it.  Rumor has it that this thing has been greased with vegetable oil.  Looks like Tool’s band of idiot friends are planning on creating two lines of idiots three people high, then people will use them to climb to the top.  Okay, the one they call Hawg has climbed to the top and is in the third position.  Looks like his cleats are digging into the guy below him.  Did he ask Mulligan about that before climbing up there?….Does Hawg really think he can pull that big dude up from the bottom?  That’s not going to work.  He’s going down.  Ha! the whole tower fell into the ditch.  What an idiot…Ok new plan.  They have taken the one they call Hawg and have hung him upside down from the top of the obstacle.  They are obviously mad at him for crashing them earlier.  Here comes the chaperone…wait, what his he doing to Hawg….oh no that is awful….Tool look away…turn your head…this is obscene.  Here comes the street sign guy…Oh good grief…this is awful…I get that Hawg is an idiot, but I don’t think he deserves this.  Is there law enforcement around here?  Someone stop this.  Thank goodness, they are pulling him back up.  I would say he has learned his lesson.  Tool, don’t cross these dudes.

    Obstacle #9 – Mud Mile 2.0

    I’m done.  I’m out.  Let’s go Tool.  You can’t seriously be thinking about doing this.  There is no way I survive this.  It’s about 8 muddy hills and 7 chest deep ditches of water.  You have to have help to get over every hill.  These people in front of us are covered in mud.  Are you serious?  Well it was good knowing you…..

    Ok, I know I am filthy now.  Seems like we are headed somewhere else, but we obviously have to come back and do this again.

    Obstacle #10 – Block Ness Monster

    At this point the group has started to separate.  No doubt because I am no longer a shining beacon that all can follow.  Here we have a creative obstacle.  A series of long rotating rectangular prisms that you hang onto and flip over to the other side, while others rotate it.  The water was fairly clean and I got a little cleaner, but it’s too little too late.  I’m still mad.

    Obstacle #11 – Berlin Walls

    A tall wall that you climb over.  No mud.  Hopefully the mudder part is done.

    Obstacle #12 – Everest 2.0

    Total Ninja Warrior stuff.  A giant warped wall with people at the top helping to pull you up.  Again no mud – things are looking up.  All of Tool’s buddies did well.  A few of the the guys needed a couple of tries and I thought the stout Asian mobster might have knocked himself out the first time (he generates a lot of speed. #GoBigOrGoHome), but he survived unscathed and easily climbed the wall.  Impressive teamwork by the idiots at this obstacle.

    Obstacle #13 – Mud Mile 2.0

    Crap!!!! I totally forgot we had to go back through this.  This is awful.  Look at the chaperone.  He’s straight out of the Blue Man Group, except instead of being covered in blue paint, it looks like he is covered in loose stool.

    Obstacle #14 – Augustus Gloop

    How are those people over there so clean?  Ahhhh, here it is.  This obstacle is basically a shower.  Tall shower that you climb up through.  This is great.  I am getting clean.  Tool hang out at the top a little longer, lets get this filth off of me.  Now take a moment, stand at the top, and let me shine like a beacon of hope to all who can see.

    Unfortunately, Mathlete, who got some mud in his eye earlier in the race had to call for the medics at this point.  I feel you Mathlete, this mud is dangerous.

    Obstacle #15 – Turducken

    An obstacle in an obstacle in an obstacle.  Fortunately this one wasn’t too muddy or difficult.  We got to go down a slide, wheeeeeeeee!

    Obstacle #16 – Birth Canal

    No mud, just crawling under a tarp with water in it.  Our legionnaire friend Amnesty went through the black hole.  Basically the same thing, but darker.

    Obstacle #17 – Monster Mash

    Giant vertical tractor tires that you jump on and over.  Come on Tough Mudder, you’ve got to be better than this.  My man box jumps at NOMA – this is for ladies.

    Obstacle #18 – Reach Around

    Climbing on a backwards slant up to a platform.  My man Tool stuck around to encourage everyone and help them get up to the top.  He’s a good guy, but I am still mad that he brought me.

    Obstacle #19 – Arctic Enema

    Sliding into a tank of ice cold water.  Completely Stupid and Utterly Pointless.  At least I am feeling much cleaner.

    Obstacle #20 – The Funky Monkey

    Here Tool ran into his friend Sparky.  Sparky is apparently associated with Tool’s band of idiot friends, but was not technically with them during this race.  Seems like an intelligent guy.  Surprised he talked to them for as long as he did.

    Now this is an obstacle – Inclined monkey bars to a couple of rotating wheels, where you have to swing to a declined straight bar – real Ninja Warrior type stuff.  Okay Tool don’t you dare fall in that water, I just started feeling clean again….Nice, you made it.  This F3 stuff has you looking pretty athletic..Okay, enough celebrating, turn around.  I want to see the heavy breathing one they call JV, he’s next.  Look at that.  That dude is a stud.  He crushed it.

    Obstacle #21 – Six Feet Under

    We have got to be getting close.  Sure is a lot of running here at the end.  Oh, you have to be kidding me.  What is this.  This looks like some kind of gray, plutonium mud pit.  What is that stuff.  Why are people going through it so slowly?  Oh, lots of lost shoes.  Ok, Tool, let’s don’t and say we did.  We finally got clean.  This is just cruel.  Ha! some dude just went all the way under because his friends told him to.  Now he’s blind.  That was completely stupid.  He seems like a perfect fit for your group Tool.

    Obstacle #22 – Electroshock Therapy

    This is it – the end.  Of course there is more mud and if you don’t get down in it they shock you with live wires.  Completely Stupid And Utterly Pointless.

    Finisher

    Well after all that, we get a t-shirt and a headband.  You can give the headband to someone else Tool, you’re not a headband guy.  Your a brilliant white cap, shining for all the world to follow, kind of guy.  Now it’s time to get me cleaned up.

    Moleskin

    I have no idea why Tool thought he should bring me to this, but in the end, I am glad he did.  He and his band of idiot friends seemed to have a great time together.  They worked hard, they laughed hard and most importantly they worked as a team to make sure everyone got to the end.  Unfortunately, they lost Mathlete along the way, but he is a fighter; he’ll be back.  I have to give it to these guys, they put in a lot of hard work preparing for this and they were ready.  It was an honor to spend the journey with them.  And, the good news is that I learned the muscled up Asian mobster runs a “laundering” service.  Send me home with him and let’s get ready for the next CSAUP, no matter how filthy it is.

     

     

  • Preblast: Rebooting The F3 Super Bowl – The Mud Run

    F3 is gearing up for the next installment of our annual Super Bowl, the Ultimate Mud Run. We aren’t just doing another Mud Run this year. The men of F3 Summerville are rebooting the whole dang thing.

    After many successful events put on by the Columbia regions of F3, Ken Doll wrote “you may have noticed a steady drop in attendance over the past few Mud Run events. In addition, the enthusiasm for our Super Bowl has waned.”

    It’s true. Very true. So we’re starting over and giving you a reason to come back out and fellowship with over 500 of your brothers from every F3 region.

    Some things will remain the same. We’ll have a big tent. We’ll have a beer boat. But you’re going to see a lot of changes.

    For starters – only one Mud Run in 2017. It will be the Spring one held on May 20th. And it’s going to be epic. Bet on it!

    Best of all – more competition and more partying!

    You’ll see:

    1. A longer after party.
    2. A new tailgating row (Second F Village if anyone asks) with tents from every region.
    3. More competition before, during and after the run. Think awards for a Respect crew, Rucking crew, F3 Olympics and much more. We’ll announce all that soon.
    4. A more competitive starting order.
    5. A competition to see who can chug more beers than Team Unicorn Slaughterhouse Death Match – certainly going to happen, maybe, probably not.

    What: 2017 Mud Run – The Super Bowl of F3

    When: Saturday, May 20th | 0700

    Cost: $60 per person

    How: Click here – http://f3summerville.com/mud-run-spring-2017/
    (after signing up here you will be sent to a page with the PayPal link for payment)

    IMPORTANT: You will sign up for the Mud Run individually. Your Region Nantan will appoint Region Mud Run Q. You should report your team name and members to your Region Mud Run Q. Additional information will be sent to your Region Nantan and Mud Run Q later.

    UPDATE 1 | May 8, 2017

    • We currently have about 325 F3 men doing the race.
    • Sign-up ASAP. YES, you can still sign up today. http://f3summerville.com/mud-run-spring-2017/
    • Donate to the Hidden Wounds foundation at the below link. This is a worthy cause and we will be presenting them a check at the race site. https://facebook.com/donations-f3-summerville-causes/
    • Form your team and let the Mud Run Q for your AO know who is on it and the team name prior to 10 May. If this is not done by 10 May, you will be placed on a team of our choosing. Don’t assume just because you put it in some hidden thread or mentioned it over a beverage two months ago that he has your team info. POC for this is Banjo cupoe13@gmail.com
    • If you “think” your team is a competitive team and worthy of being placed at the front of the pack with other studs, contact the Mud Run Q for your AO prior to 10 May as well.
    • Contact the Mud Run Q for your AO prior to 10 May and sign-up for F3 Village games. POC for this is Goose r.w.martier@gmail.com
    • Team Captains print and sign the race waiver which can be found at the below site. Each team must have a waiver signed by all team members with them upon checking in for the race. http://www.ultimatechallengemudrun.org/

    DAY OF EVENT TIMELINE:

    • 0730 gates open for the masses.
    • 0815 BOM
    • 0830 Race starts
    • 0852 First F3 team steps off
    • F3 games will go at approximately 1130 or as determined by Goose.
    • Food and beverage vendors will be on site. Please support the vendors that support the race.
    • ENDEX is TBD, expect late afternoon/early evening.
    • If you plan to drink, plan NOW for a Designated Driver.

  • 2017 Maltz Challenge

    YHC has been advocating for awareness of our armed forces for nearly as long as I have been able to breathe. That has even been paired with F3 when I launched REDFriday here in Greenwood and shared my passion for it with groups in MECA and Mint Hill. We even spotted a guy from Richmond, Va. rocking a REDFriday shirt at one of the transitions on the BRR. Now it’s time for the Nation to tackle a pretty tough Hero WOD in honor of one of America’s finest heroes.

    The DEA Maltz Challenge started in 2006 to honor Air Force MSgt. Michael maltz, a highly decorated member of USAF Pararescue (the USAF’s elite special forces unit) who was killed on March 23, 2003, during a rescue mission in Afghanistan.

    Read more about MSgt. Michael Maltz here.

    Each year, the Maltz Challenge selects service members who were killed in action to honor during the Challenge.

    Read the list of honorees here.

    This year, the Challenge will be held on Friday, March 10

    The workout can be completed in any park or gym with minimal equipment. The workout is simple, yet difficult:

    • 400m run
    • 50 pull-ups
    • 100m fireman’s carry or 200m farmer’s carry with 50lb. dumbbells
    • 50 dips
    • 50 knees to elbow
    • 100 sit-ups
    • 400m run

    Work should not be partitioned other than prescribed above. Participants can modify to half Maltz by cutting all reps in half or complete it as a team of two. If you have a weight vest, wear it.

    We are asking that everyone participate to the level they can. There is no cost to register and t-shirts can be purchased separately for $20.

    Register for the Maltz Challenge here.

    Purchase a Maltz Challenge t-shirt here.

    After the event is over, we will have a backblast posted on the Nation website for guys to enter their times for the challenge and who they honored during the Challenge. This is not to see who can complete the WOD the quickest, but to document your time so that you can see how much better you do next year!

    You can follow the Challenge on Facebook here.

    If you have any questions or comments, hit me up here or on Twitter @JuggernautF3. If you have any gripes or complaints, please contact CSPAN.

    I look forward to seeing how everyone does!

    Hooyah!

  • F3 GrowSchool & GrowRuck

    If you’ve been on the Twitter machine lately, you may have seen some PAX throwing out the words GrowSchool and GrowRuck. My man Mini-Me and I have been fielding some question about these two initiatives so we thought it’d be a good time to open the proverbial kimono and let you know what these things are all about.

    The purpose of this post is to briefly explain the two events, and help growing regions choose which is right for them!

    GrowSchool

    GrowSchool is curriculum developed by OBT and Dredd as a Q School with an emphasis on Growth. The big-ticket items covered in GrowSchool are:

    • Why Growth (& Destruction) is good for F3
    • How F3 Regions Typically Grow
    • Common Regional Growing Pains
    • Why Regional Status is a Worthy Growth Goal

    GrowSchool helps Regions understand why #GiveItAway is an F3 imperative and why, in the world of F3, if you aren’t growing, you’re dying. It’s intended for Nomads (or expansion AOs) that have been in existence at least 6-9 months and want to accelerate toward Regional status in support of F3’s mission to Plant, Grow and Serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of Male Community Leadership.  

    A location is an ideal candidate for GrowSchool if the PAX have some momentum and are wondering what the Next Step is. F3 Nation sends in a couple men to teach about F3 Growth, serve as liaisons on the road to Regional Status and push the local PAX to face outward in their community.

    The typical timeframe of a GrowSchool is as follows:

    • Friday night 2ndF event for all PAX with GrowSchool Qs (1-2hrs)
    • Saturday AM Convergence beatdown led by GrowSchool Qs (1hr)
    • Saturday Coffeeteria/GrowSchool (2hrs)

    For more information about bringing GrowSchool to your location, contact MiniMe (gcburdic@gmail.com or @MiniMe_F3  on Twitter).

    GrowRuck

    GrowRuck is a weekend-long event that combines GrowSchool with a GORUCK Tough. By adding a CSAUP event (which brings a huge dose of 1st and 2nd F) to the GrowSchool experience, F3 Nation aims to catalyze and accelerate a location’s growth.

    GrowRuck is ideally suited for AOs (or a collection of locations) that have been around for a year or longer. A good indicator that a location is ready for a GrowRuck is when PAX find themselves standing around asking, “What’s next?”

    OBT and Dredd developed the idea for GrowRuck as they began teaching GrowSchools and realized how important CSAUP events are to F3’s growth in a region. In particular, they drew on their own experience as members of GORUCK Tough Classes 193 and 707 and the role that those events, with their emphasis on teamwork and bonding, played in catalyzing F3’s growth in Charlotte and the surrounding regions

    Because the class size for a GrowRuck event is around 30 participants, GrowRucks are ideally suited to F3 locations where they can draw from multiple AOs within driving distance (GrowRuck 01 is taking place in Jacksonville, FL, but is also drawing significant contingents of PAX from St. Simons and Savannah, GA.)  That being said, not everyone in an AO or region needs to participate in the Tough to get something out of GrowRuck, as many of the weekend’s events are open to all PAX.

    While  GrowRuck can be customized to fit the needs of each region, the basic format is:

    • Friday night 2ndF Event
    • Saturday AM workout + GrowSchool
    • Saturday PM GORUCK Tough (12-14 hours)
    • Sunday AM breakfast

    If you think a GrowRuck would be a good fit for your F3 location, or if you and your F3 friends have been discussing doing a custom Tough Challenge, we would love to hear from you.

    For more information about the GrowRuck contact Robber (sean.rankin@gmail.com or @srankin on Twitter).