F3 New Orleans

Tag: El Wire

  • 8118

    So many directions that a Q can take that sometimes it’s hard to pick just one.  With some late night pondering though I couldn’t pass up the opportunity of 8118.  Has there ever been a palindromic beatdown in the history of F3?  Does the Pax know what a palindrome is?  Does the QIC know that numbers really aren’t palindromes?  Is drinking a Rockstar and going for a 7 mile run at 10pm a good idea?  Is drinking a Rockstar and…… ever a good idea?  Having exhausted myself I knew I needed a workout where the Pax could just do their thing.

    Mosey over to the zoo parking lot for a warm up:

    • SSH IC x 30
    • Hillbilly IC x 30 (testing the ability of the assembled hillbilly’s to count to 30)
    • Mountain Climbers x 30

    Mosey to the Audubon statue for some stretching and a little Q&A.  As Rudy was not with us I had to scan the crowd to find the next most likely PAX to appear on Jeopardy and my eyes settled on JV.  ‘What is a palindrome?’ Some under the breath musings about Elba and Canals hinted at the answer.  ‘Why does that matter today?’ Nip Tuck nailed it, ‘8118’.

    The Thang:

    • A figure of 8 run around the medians
    • 8 Merkins at the bottom and top of the 8
    • 1 burpee every time at the crossover
    • Run forwards from bottom to top of the 8
    • Run backwards from the top to the bottom of the 8
    • Run 8 laps

    Not much was said from this point on.  Perhaps some disbelief or just boredom.  There wasn’t an official time goal but we did run out of time with most still on the course.  Congrats to Beiber, Pony Boy, Mahatma, El Wire, G Spot, Peppa, Swamp Cock plus maybe others who finished the 8 laps.

    Mosey back to the flag.  Count off and namorama.  Intentions for Rudy’s sister and a couple of Roots’ friends who are ill.  An official uptown H8 may be something to consider.

     

  • Fore!

    As my fancy fitness tracking watch, I mean 15 year old Casio G-Shock, ticked near 5:30 the anticipation became palatable. The First Annual Officially Unofficial F3Nola Blimp Golf Tournament (sponsored by John Daly’s Grip It & Sip It) was almost underway.

    First we moseyed a bit to that Greek pavilion looking thing for some warm-up:

    Side Straddle Hops X 34
    Arm Circles X 15
    Reverse Arm Circles X 15
    Peter Parkers X 15
    Mountain Climbers X 15
    Parker Peters X 15

    Next we moseyed to the links for the main event. They say Blimp Golf predates its Scottish counterpart, but it fell out of popularity due to it being completely pointless. The rules are stupid and convoluted, you start at the first hole and do one set of BLIMPS with the par of the hole as the reps. Then you do 34 Merkins (because it’s my birthday and I like them). The first person to finish wins that hole and then you mosey to the next hole and repeat with hole number as the sets and the par as the reps.

    The first hole started out a little rough, mostly due to my poor explanation. After that we started cruising. Unfortunately I forgot to keep track of who won each hole, so I can’t give out the grand prize. I promise to do better next year. Our sponsor was kind enough to provide a delicious Grip It & Sip It Hard Tea for each hole winner though. Let me know in the comments if you won a hole and I will make sure you get one.

    After 5 holes we decided that the we were golfed out for the day and we moseyed to the benches:

    Dips X 15
    Right Leg Step-ups X 15
    Dips X 15
    Left Leg Step-ups X 15
    Derkins X 20

    According the Casio we had way more time left than I thought. The PAX recommended that we do some AB workouts. We headed back to the pavilion for some Ring of Fire:

    Nolan Ryans
    Real Freddy Mercurys
    Lots of other AB stuff

    Back to the flag for Count-Off, Name-O-Rama, Announcements, Intentions and Prayer.

    Big thanks to everyone for coming to my VQ and helping me out with my mistiming.

  • And we are done….just kidding, not really.

    So after a last minute exit from Chowdah for his VQ, YHC decided to step up and take the Q.  After planting the shovel flag in what was unusually hard dirt and the usual disclaimer, we were off.

    Mosey to the Kick-Ball Field in front of Audubon Zoo for Warm-Up:

    • Imperial Walkers X 20
    • Arm Circles Forward X15
    • Arm Circles Reverse X15
    • Hillibillies X20

    Next, short mosey to Soccer Field for:

    • 4 Corners – B.O.M.B.S – Modified (You’ll figure out why shortly)
      • First Corner – 5 Burpees
        • Defensive Drills R/L to
      • Second Corner – 10 OH Presses
        • Crab Walk to
      • Third Corner – for Modification #1 – 15 Monkey Humpers
        • Backward Run to
      • Fourth Corner – 20 Big Boy Sit Ups/Rower Sit Ups (PAX choice)
        • Bear Crawl
      • Back to First Corner for Modification #2 – 25 Side-Plank Leg Raises split between right and left sides

    This was so fun, Rinse and Repeat!

    Mosey to Shelter for:

    • The Cooper
      • 10 Burpees
      • 10 Merkins
      • 10 Squats
      • Run 1 lap from shelter to track and back (approx. 400M)
      • Decrease by 1 until done

    Now you know why YHC decided to modify the merkins and squats out of the B.O.M.B.S.  You’re welcome PAX!

    Now the above routine seems pretty straightforward and not that difficult.  Apparently not with 90 degree heat and what seemed like 110% humidity.  The Cooper should be renamed the Mumblechatter-Killer because it was pretty quiet amongst the PAX once we really got going.

    As we continued in our endeavor to get to the end of this never-ending routine, YHC realized not all the PAX would have time to complete.  So, modify!  YHC decided to announce that we would call it when the PAX leaders (I’m looking at you Douille, El Wire, Mariah and a few others) finished all their rounds.  Apparently, those same leaders misheard me and thought YHC said we would finish when they completed their CURRENT round.  You can imagine my amazement when I pulled into the shelter with a group of PAX waiting for YHC for the next THANG.  Of course, I quickly explained that we still had several minutes to go and let’s get to it.  Que collective groan.  Off we went for more rounds!  Lucky for the PAX we did run out of time so YHC called it.  That Cooper was something else.

    Mosey back to the Flag for Count-Off, Name-o-rama, Announcements, Intentions and Prayer.  Special thanks to all who attended and helped put on the F2 Picnic on Saturday.  A great F2 event.

    Thanks PAX for letting me lead!  What a great group of #HIM.

  • Cognac and Burpees

    Started out with a disclaimer stating that I had too much cognac at Tales of the Cocktail the previous night “so if you smell cognac it is me.”.

    Mosey to the lawn in front of touch down Jesus then I attempted to count:

    15 x windmills then 5 burpees oyo

    15 x forward arm circles 5 burpees oyo

    15 x reverse arm circles 20 merkins oyo

    15 x good mornings 5 burpees oyo

    Mosey to the corner of Sta Charles and Calhoun:

    20 x cross fit merkins then ran to next tier

    20 x lizard hops (I need to stay off you tube) ran to next tier

    20 x plank jacks to shoulder taps ran to next tier

    20 x dying bug ran back to start

    Mariah commented that the work out was weak so we repeated with

    5 x burpees at each tier

    Mosey to the parking garage on Freret St then Native American ran to the top of the garage in two lines.

    Paired up for Dora at the top:

    100 low slow squats as partner ran down the stairs and back up

    200 lbc as partner ran down the stairs and back up

    300 plank jacks as partner ran down the stairs and back up

    Mosey down the stair to the benches by WPM

    20 derkins oyo

    Mosey to the flag then

    5 x burpees oyo

    plank left and right

    30 count misson impossibe

    Circled up, counted off, name-o-rama and prayer.

     

    Thank you for allowing me to lead today.

     

    86

  • The Thrillabon in the Audubon

    Being an F3 Nation member for only 10 months (last race I was nothin but a gleam in a Hawg’s eye), the Gnarly Nutria was the stuff of legend. A back and forth sporting event like the world has not witnessed since Ali vs. Frazier. Two heavyweights going toe to toe for 5.4 miles with the Uptowners dominating Gnarly Nutria I and The World squeaking by with a narrow victory in Gnarly Nutria II.

    This year The World looked to overwhelm the smug Uptowners with numbers, and we have been recruiting. I was even dreaming of running the first race of my life but fell to the wayside with a calf injury on Friday. Although The World would now be missing their best runner, they still persevered and began the race with a distinct advantage in numbers.

    Following an epic lightning storm, the race began at 9:10pm. Our first finishers were a family group, and hat’s off to Sandbar who brought two of his 2.0s who finished the first lap in solid time.

    I knew the Uptowners were going to be in trouble when the first runners to not complete all three laps were Uptowners. Then the top two finishers of all three laps were both from the World and the landslide began. Like an over-the-hill Frazier against Ali, the Uptowners were no match for The World in Gnarly Nutria III.

    The final score was 446 The World and 354 Uptowners. The World is so fast, we turned off the lights in our bedrooms when we got home last night and we were in bed before the room was dark.

    We welcomed 4 FNGs into our numbers in the largest sweaty ball of man I have ever seen. I got to hand it to the runners, the names for our new members were great. We welcome Tubbs, Tramp Stamp, Right Cheek and his brother Left Cheek to F3. May we forget your real names and always refer to you by your F3 names in public.

    Here are your Gnarly Nutria top finishers:

    1. Smooth – The World

    2. Turbo Tax – The World

    3. Pony Boy – Uptowner

    4. El Guapo – The World

    5. Mulligan – Uptowner

    6. End Time – The World

    7. YSR – Uptowner

    8. Swampcock – Uptowner

    9. Cavalier – Uptowner

    10. Mahatma-Ice – The World

    11. Right Cheek – The World

    12. Nip/Tuck – Uptowner

    13. Jadaveon – Uptowner

    14. Cowbell – The World

    15. Hawgcycle – The World

    16. Thighs – The World

    17. Freedo – Uptowner

    18. Cornbread – The World

    19. El Wire – Uptowner

    20. Mariah – Uptowner

    21. Rudy – The World

    22. Rocket – The World

    23. Peppa – Uptowner

    24. Saban – Uptowner

    25. Tubba – The World

    26. Tramp stamp – The World

    27. Bubba – The World

    28. Shorty – The World

    29. Brownbag – Uptowner

    30. Landing Strip – Uptowner

    Left cheek, Bad Moon, Two Yutes, Shooter, Bushwacker, Einstein, 86, Pi, Walleye, King Kong, Triple Shift, Reluctant Yankee, and Roots fell just outside the top 30 in this order. I couldn’t keep up with the names after Roots. Congrats to all who finished and all who completed 1 or 2 laps. Thank you for helping us all be better men as we do stupid, pointless things like run for no reason in the middle of a lightning storm while chased by Jaguars.

    I’m inviting you to our next AO at “the Boxing Match” sculpture in Kenner’s Rivertown. The first Wednesday of September will be the launch of the F3 NOLA “Fight Club.”

    Your Humble Scorekeeper (I don’t plan on doing this next year, so someone else better get hurt right before the race in 2019),

    RevSox

  • Banzai!!!!

    The opportunity to Q The Birdcage the morning of the Gnarly Nutria presented itself yesterday and I jumped at it.  Immediately, I started brainstorming my Kamikaze Q –  come in hard and heavy, destroy my legs, but take out as many Uptowners along the way as possible.  What would I do? 45 minutes of Monkey Humpers? Run 3 laps around Audubon? Sprint-o-rama? Boo-boo bear crawls?  Quadraphilia?  F3 provides lots of good leg breaking choices.  Unfortunately, my plan would be contingent on me being im better shape then these guys and that is unfortunately not the case.  Kamikazes can’t do much good if they don’t have the power to destroy their target.  It’s like a sacrifice bunt with two outs (which may have been a more apt name for this backblast).  In the end, I chose a path I could finish, at least almost.

    100 Burpee Warm-Up

    • 20 burpees
    • 20 Hillbillies, 15 Windmills, 15 Good Mornings
    • Burpees EMOM: 12, 12, 12,12, 10, 10
    • Parker Peter x 20, Monkey Humpers x 20, Daft Punk? x 28
    • 12 Burpees

    The Thang

    We moseyed aimlessly, as I was hoping to get everyone’s shoes sufficiently wet and slightly heavier.  Once I realized I couldn’t break them, this became my best opportunity for sabotage.  We ended up at the shelter for some Red Hot Chili Pepper.

    • 8 Bulgarian Split Leg Lunges with the right leg, 16 Derkins, 8 Bulgarian Split Leg Lunges with the left leg, 16 Irkins
    • 6 BSLLRL, 6 Derkins, 6 BSLLLL, 6 Irkins,  (G Spot disappears?)
    • 4….
    • 2….

    We then moseyed about 50 feet to open area for our last chance at some celebratory 3-6-3 exercises.  3 Super Slow Cadence reps, holding position at the end.  Then 6 regular cadence reps, holding position at the end.  Ending with 3 more super slow cadence reps.  We did squats, monkey humpers, merkins, right leg lunges, and left leg lunges.

    Mariah took over and finished us off with some Mary.  Hello Dolly x 25 followed by Flutter Kicks x 25 (feet don’t touch the ground), Freddie Mercuries x 25, oblique crunches (each side) x 25, and a Protractor (15, 45, 90, 45, 2, 15, 45)

    Back to the shovel flag, naming our FNG, and closing it out with a prayer

    NMM

    • I had good intentions, but I can’t say the mission was successful.  I’m going to need back up next year.
    • Perhaps I knocked out G-Spot, but that seems highly unlikely, seeing as he wears a weighted vest and was Larry Birding me the last time I Q’d.  His schedule is tight and he always leaves prior to the COT.  This time he left much earlier.  Yankee said it’s the first time someone’s gone AWOL Uptown.  I’m taking that as a compliment, although I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.
    • We didn’t run much today.  Some may think it’s because we have the Gnarly Nutria tonight, but I ain’t going to lie:  Being this close to the zoo, I had every intention of staying close to our cars.
    • FNG Ocho Cinco is from Cincinnati.  He couldn’t be Ocho Seis, cause we got one of those.
    • Speaking of, Happy Birthday to the aforementioned Ocho Seis.
    • I’m over three years in and still can’t do a complete Red Hot Chili Pepper.  It’s a goal.
    • Looking forward to tonight.  Here’s to having fun and World Domination.

     

     

     

     

  • Macdeuce at The Birdcage

    (more…)

  • Suicide Squad

    19 PAX woke up to this beautiful morning for a July beat down at the Skinny.  Started with our standard disclaimer, we went straight to the warm up.  All in cadence count – 25 SSH, 15 Forward Arm Circles, 15 Imperial Walkers, 15 Backward Arm Circles, and 15 Hill Billies.

    We moseyed off to the track to our first station.  We broke up the PAX into 4 groups with the following exercises.  Group 1 – 10 pull-ups (the count), Group 2 – lunges, Group 3 – merkins, and Group 4 – plank jacks.  We did one full rotation.  We then moseyed across Magazine Street to one of the fields in front of Audubon Zoo.  Magically, there were about 10 cones set up to resemble a flag football field.  Each cone was about 10 yards apart.  Because of the perfect set up, we decided to do some suicide drills.

    Suicide Drills

    1.) OYO – jog to the first cone, sprint back, 10 merkins.  Rinse and repeat to the 2nd and 3rd cone.  Total = 30 merkins.

    2.) OYO – Jog backwards to the first cone, sprint back, 10 squats.  Rinse and repeat to the 2nd and 3rd cone.  Total = 30 squats.

    3.) OYO – bear crawl to the first cone and back, 10 merkins.  Bear crawl to the 2nd cone and back, end with another set of 10 merkins.  Total = 20 merkins with nonstop bear crawl.

    4.) With a partner – facing each other, side hop / jog to the first cone and back, 3 burpees. Rinse and repeat to the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cone.  Total = 12 burpees and a lot side-hopping.

    5.) *Iron Sharpens Iron Challenge of the Day* – With a partner – wheelbarrow your partner to the first cone, 5 rower or traditional sit-ups at the first cone.  Let your partner wheelbarrow you to the 2nd cone, 10 rower or traditional sit-ups at the 2nd cone.  Wheelbarrow your partner to the 3rd cone, 15 rower or traditional sit-ups at the 3rd cone.  Let your partner wheelbarrow you to the 4th cone, 20 rower or traditional sit-ups at the 4th cone.  Total – 50 sit-ups with alternate wheelbarrowing and crawling between partners.

    6.) OYO – jog to the first cone, sprint back, 10 merkins.  Rinse and repeat to the 2nd and 3rd cone.  Total = 30 merkins.

    7.) OYO – crab crawl to the first cone and back.

    We then completed the day with some more core exercises: dying cockroach IC x 20, penguin IC x 20, American Hammer IC x 17 (I tried to do 20 but didn’t happen).  We then moseyed back to the flag and finished right at 6:15 a.m.

    We ended with count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announcements/intentions, and prayers.  I feel very blessed and honored that I get a chance to lead the PAX.  Thank You for pushing me to post on a regular basis. And welcome back Chiquita!!!

    SYITG

    King Kong

     

  • The Ultimate 4th of July Beatdown

    18 Pax exercised their freedoms this morning by posting at The Birdcage.  This included Da Parish, making his Birdcage debut.  I believe it may have also been Mariah’s Birdcage debut as he has completed the move from Charlotte.  Metro’s loss is our gain.

    Pledge of Allegiance

    We moseyed to the World War I museum and recited the Pledge.  This is a very historical spot that doesn’t get much recognition.  The Memorial itself has the names of the Lousiana residents that sacrificed their life during World War I.  Additionally there are six Live Oaks surrounding the memorial that were all planted by military heroes from around the world:  2 from France, 1 from the U.S., 1 from Italy, 1 from Great Britain, and 1 from Japan.  All planted between 1920-1935.

    Warm-up

    30 SSH; 20 Imperial Squat Walkers; 15 Windmills; 25 Peter Parkers; 25 Mountain Climbers; 25 Parker Peters

    1776 Revolution

    Mosey to the Zoo side of Magazine for a 4th of July modification of The Suck.  One revolution consists of  1 burpee, 7 merkins, 7 side straddle hops, and 6 squat jumps.  After completing each revolution, yell out Huzzah.  Complete as many revolutions as possible in 3 minutes.  We took a one minute rest and repeated it, this time yelling out the number of each revolution.  It sounded like most men completed between 5 and 8 revolutions.

    Bernie Sanders Tabata

    We moseyed to the soccer goal for a two rounds of modified tabata.  4 men on the did the Bernie Sanders on the soccer goal (L hangs for as long as you can hang – don’t give up), while everyone else did the prescribed exercise (Merkins, Squats, or Rower Sit-ups (shout out to this month’s ISI)).  After the last Bernie dropped out (or Q called it) we rotated in 4 new Bernies and a new exercise for everyone else.  We went through 10 rounds – 4 merkins, 3 Squats, and 3 Rower Situps.

    Sprint

    We partnered up and raced to the other side of the field (about 80 yards)

    Ultimate

    We finished the workout with a 15 minute game of F3 Ultimate.  Two Merkins on each change of possession for the team losing possession.  10 burpees each time your team gives up a score.  Let’s just say that this was a defensive struggle, despite the advantage to the offense.  The final score was 1-0.

    COT

    We moseyed back across Magazine for a holiday picture by the flag.  We closed with a prayer remembering those service men and women away from their families today as the serve our country.

    Then YHC had to pay my burpee bet to Da Parish for the Hog’s baseball losses to LSU this season.  66 burpees in LSU paraphernalia.  Thanks to JV for finishing with me.

     

     

  • And for the Beatdown, I’ll start with Shoulders and then for my entrée shoulders with a side of shoulders and for dessert…Shoulders!!!!

    Oh yes, now we are in the dog days of summer.  So not only did we have 80 degree temperature greeting us at 5:30 but let’s add 100% humidity as it rained the day before.  Fun times and time for some upper-body work.  As El Wire duly noted towards the end of our beatdown.  Every exercise except one included shoulders.  Yes El Wire they did, they surely did.  Onward to the Thang!

    Mosey to a open space by Magazine St. for Warmup:

    • Arm Circles Forward X15
    • Arm Circles Reverse X15
    • IW X20
    • Windmills X 15

    Mosey to Soccer Field for Bear Crawl Ring of Fire

    • Bearcrawl Counter-Clockwise all till Q yells halt
      • 10 merkins
    • Bearcrawl Clockwise
      • 10 diamond merks

    Let’s increase the difficulty!

    • Boo Boo Bearcrawl Counterclockwise Right Leg Up
      • 10 staggered right
    • Boo Boo Bearcrawl Clockwise Left Leg Up
      • 10 staggered left

    Mosey to street leading to statue for:

    Indian Crab Crawl to Statue – Line up in four lines of four or five PAX.  Last PAX crabwalks to front of column while other PAX does LBC’s and so on.  This exercise took a little bit longer than expected so we stopped about halfway and…

    Moseyed to the statue for:

    Dora 123 – Partner Up

    • 100 burpees
    • 200 derkins
    • 300 squats

    Ran out of time, so called it with most PAX somewhere in their Squat count.

    Moseyed to flag with one minute to spare, so, 10 Nolan Ryans each side OYO!

    Count off, Name-o-rama (one FNG, Betty Crocker as he likes to bake), announcements, intentions and prayer.

    Thank you for letting me lead!