F3 New Orleans

Tag: Fast Tax

  • Merkin Math is Hard – from Mayhem

    75 degrees, 95% RH, 0 mph wind
    It was wet and not from rain

    Travelling from the East and not wanting to catch the train, High Rise was the first to arrive sometime before 5:20. YHC pulled up next and started running through the plans in my head. From 5:27 to 5:29 the PAX just kept coming with Thumb War bringing up the rear. 5:30 disclaimer and backwards down the track we went.

    After 150M total backwards mosey and 100M total mosey we ended at midfield.

    Quick Warm-A-Rama included GG, MMP (finally correctly demonstrated), IW, FM, PP, Crab Cakes (for Vagabond).

    First exciting effort amidst the mumble0chatter was Motivator-Merkins. Start with 10 motivators then 10 merkins. Count down from there to 1. Only 55 of each when completed. Zero sympathy.

    Next effort was the bear crawl inchworm. Two lines, planked, facing the playground. Last man bear crawls to the front and planks. Everyone goes twice. Boo-hoo the stickers… get over it. No complaining today.

    At the playground, we did the Rail Shuffle. Plank on the rail. We shuffled counterclockwise led by YHC . DOWN = merkin. TUCK = hop forward/back. Once the clock struck 12, all PAX took a turn performing 5 pull-ups.

    Next effort took place on the west side of the gym. Wall Plank with hands ICx20, Wall Plank with feet ICx20, Wall Sit & air presses. Rinse and Repeat, replace air presses with overhead claps.

    Next effort was on the baseball diamond. Circle up. Plank-o-rama. Alternating plank exercise and core exercise IC.
    Hip Slap – LBC
    Shoulder Tap – Freddy Mercury
    Merkin – Flutter Kick
    Put it all together and you get… MAYHEM MERKINS. One PAX at a time. One rep at a time. Twice around the circle of 13. Rest of PAX planking. This amazing exercise is still extremely difficult for some. I assume it is because they have to count all the way to 10… looking at you Mr Rogers, Kennah Brah, Rudy…

    All PAX spread out in the infield of the baseball diamond. A few PAX (Frac?) had to ask where the infield was located. Duck Joust… Duckwalk, arms crossed, knock fellow PAX down. Vagabond cheated… I mean won.

    Mosey back near the flag. Circle up because we ain’t done yet.

    Big Bang. Hold plank then explode up and do the exercise as fast as possible once I call it out. 3 burpees, 10 jump squats, 10 big bois. End with 15 Plank Jacks IC.

    COT
    Announcements – Greek Fest
    Intentions – Boo Boo’s SIL and Mess Hall’s MIL

    Enjoyed leading.
    SYITG!

  • Rocky Balboa Returns (2-Year Manniversary Edition) – from Mr Rodgers

    Backblast: Rocky Balboa Returns (2-Year Manniversary Edition)
    QIC: YHC
    PAX: Too many to name, one less after Mustard’s ankle called it quits
    Conditions: Dry skies (for once), humidity set to “drenched”

    At 5:29 AM sharp, YHC gave a lightning-fast disclaimer (no actual lightning this time), and we were off to the rock pile. I instructed each PAX to choose a partner and a rock wisely—because no one wants to get stuck with a pebble… or a boulder.

    Warm-Up? Nope.
    Due to distance and time management (and possibly because warm-ups are overrated), we skipped tradition. Instead:

    Pax 1: 10 Side Straddle Hops

    Pax 2: Rifle carry the rock to the beatdown zone
    Switch and repeat until arrival. By the time we got there, Vagabond dropped a rock on Mayhem’s head, giving us a preview of the punishment to come. Shoulders were smoked. Mission accomplished.

    Exercise 1: “Rocky Balboa Returns”
    Pax 1: Run bleachers with your rock

    Pax 2: AMRAP — 5 Burpees, 10 Merkins, 15 Squats, Big Boys

    x3 Each

    💬 You’re the champ… until you drop the rock.
    Spoiler: several PAX were dethroned early.

    Exercise 2: “Stairway to Suck”
    Pax 1: Burpee broad jump at base, sprint up next stair set

    Pax 2: AMRAP — 5 Burpees, 10 Rock Thrusters, 15 SSH, LBCs

    x3 Each

    💬 It looks like a stairway. It feels like doom.
    Colonel Mustard’s ankle tapped out here. Respect.

    Exercise 3: “The Crawlinator”
    Pax 1: Bear crawl up ramp, run stairs, crawl to next set

    Pax 2: AMRAP — 5 Hellraisers, 10 Rock Squats, 15 Rock Shoulder Presses, Flutter Kicks

    x1 Each

    💬 Now featuring puddles of sweat to make bleacher crawling extra sketchy.
    Even YHC took off the weight vest. That says it all.

    Wrap-Up:
    Kid Rock blared. Sweat flew. Rocks were dropped. Bodies collapsed. Intentions were lifted to the Lord Almighty, and we dispersed knowing we earned this manniversary.

    Two years in, and still standing. Barely.

  • Boisterous Rock City – from Fracsac

    The Double Nickel week continued with 8 other Pax joining YHC.

    Disclaimer given then off to meet Hand Grenada while Tenderloin hit the track. Once HG was finished pounding his morning Joe, the pax circled up for the warmup. Nothing to note except the squat twist, which brought much joy to Bogey. Mr Rogers did not like the squat twist, not sure if it was the name or the evolution. Either way, he protested during the SSHs.

    Continue to the Rock Pile. YHC informed the pax that rock burpees would be afoot, so choose wisely. Rudy gave YHC the proverbial middle finger and chose the biggest rock he could find. Kilo heard him mutter something like “he lies.” Kilo responded with “I do too know how to land a plane!” And with that he grabbed an even bigger rock!

    HG got tired of waiting and said he was headed for the hill. Fast Tax said “not so fast” and pointed out a railroad tie and said we should do 5 x rock burpees.

    On we went stopping at a random tree Bogey seemed to connect with. He demanded 5 more rock burpees.

    We continued to the hill for 11s. Rock burpees and OH press. YHC was going to do an ab exercise but HG demanded we lug the rocks. Vagabond yelled out “Do em right y’all”.

    On to the playground for one last thing. Stations with 5 x pull-ups and everything else AMRAP. Two rounds.

    Back to the rockpile and mosey to the flag

    COT

    Thank you all for the brotherhood!

  • Park Squatters – from Hand Grenada

    PSA: Hand Grenada doesn’t believe in backblasts. We believe it is because he doesn’t know how to type, or even read. Therefore, Mayhem is writing this BB for him. Although HG knows this favor is taking place, details were not discussed. Also, HG is not on Slack since he doesn’t want the government to know what is happening on his phone. So… first, feel free to leave thoughtful comments about him on Slack as he will never see them… second, if you need him, hit him up on SnapChat, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, X or Truth Social since the government doesn’t watch those.

    (Written as if HG was typing it himself)

    Pounded my first coffee and took a stroll across the tracks

    Conditions: 64 degrees, 64% humidity, nearly windless

    Great to see 76-year old Tenderloin back at at Pontiff after a 1+/- year hiatus
    We started with a total of 8 PAX

    Disclaimer: this is peer led and there are peer reviews

    “Wow, Mayhem, you look really good considering you just completed a pre-beatdown 5 mile jog. Good work, son.”

    Mosey 0.16 mi the wrong way around the track to the intersection of the track and the street. Warmarama in the middle of the street, because I said so.

    We did somethings: bend at the waist, self-love, bend at the waist, PP, IW, PP, SQUAT twist

    Mosey 0.16 mi to the first pavilion. Some (Vagabond and Mr Rodgers took the short… um… scenic route). Others followed the Q’s instructions. Particularly Mayhem, what an example he was this morning to the rest of the PAX.

    Two rounds, 4 stations at 4 tables.
    Incline merkins, Dips, Derkins, leg lifts.

    Mosey 0.4 mi to the hill. PAX moved at varying paces. “Dang, Mayhem, I said mosey not sprint. You really are impressing me today, son.” The Architect found us on the way.

    7s… start with 6 merkins, backwards lunge up the hill, 3 SQUATS atop the hill, forward lunge down the other side of the hill, 1 SQUAT twist and so forth. Although YHC was the first to finish, I cheated. To punish myself, I was in a wall sit position waiting on the rest of the PAX, and admiring Mayhem’s form.

    Mosey 0.22 mi to the rock pile. YHC only wanted to say the word “rock” once today since this is Rock City. We never intended on using the rocks. Once we all caught up with Mayhem, we got on our 6 for a few minutes of Mary.

    Mosey 0.13 mi back to the flag. And there goes Mayhem…

    Announcements – great to have Tenderloin back out
    Intentions – cancer sucks & take care of our aging parents
    Prayed us out
    Then Mayhem jogged off into the distance.

    Just one last comment about Mayhem. Great work, son. You are a real testament of what F3 can do for a man. You not only pushed yourself but you pushed all of us. Thank You.

    (Just a reminder… written by Mayhem but through the assumed eyes of HG)

  • BOMBS & POMS – from Kilo

    A little stolen BD this morning from the PAX in JAX

    0530: disclaimer given
    0531: mosey started to the W-O-R
    SSH, TIE Fighters forward and reverse, HB, and IW, finish with the Vagabond Sunrise

    Mosey to the parking lot, quite a bit of grumbles about the amount of moseying down already… partner up and on to the THANG

    BOMBS – burpees, overhead claps (in a deep squat), merkins, big boys, and squats: 50, 100, 150, 200, 250
    Pax take turns running to the light pole that was illuminated with a plane directly over it and back. Some chasing and sprinting was done so as to keep up the spirits.

    POMS – plank, reverse plank (aka Overhand Plank), merkins, squat hold all for 20 count by the resting Pax

    Mosey back to the W-O-R spot for some broga and MC’s sprinkled in

    COT: gratitude for all that the Sky Q has done for us this week and for a successful Leg Quarter Cook-off tomorrow

  • Gotcha – from Hawgcycle

    Warm-up: SSH, IW, GG, Merkins, Bobby Hurly
    On the line: open the gate, close the gate, high knees, butt kicks, scoops

    Mosey to Gym:

    Gotcha – 1 line at the 3 point line. First two pax have a ball. Pax 1 shoots a 3. If he doesn’t make it he gets his own rebound and tries to score before pax 2 scores. If he doesn’t he’s out. Continue until one man left. There was a way to buy back in.

    Buy-in #1 – 30 Abe Lincolns, 60 Monkey Humpers, 90 Big Bois

    As predicted by Mayhem, the buy in was too steep. Although a couple of us came close.

    The Architect won the first game and pretended to do squats while the losers finished up.

    We reduced the buy-in for game two. Fast Tax and YHC got back in to be quickly dismissed once again.

    Buy-in #2 – 20 Big Bois, 40 Monkey Humpers, 60 Abe Lincolns

    I assume The Architect won again. It was him and Mayhem at the end, but I was too busy to pay attention.

    We took a break from basketball to do some
    wall work – BTW. Chicken Peckers, BTW, Pecker Chickens, BTW, Pecker Mayhem

    We then divided up into 3 teams of 3. Teams 1 and 2 play a game of 3 on 3 sudden death wile Team 3 does 10 merkins, 10 Bobby Hurleys, 10 Big Bois, in perpetuity. The losing team swaps with the team doing exercises.

    We made it through three games and headed back to the flag

    NMM
    * There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that enjoy having fun occasionally and Mr. Rogers
    * Speaking of everyone’s favorite neighbor, I did Q a workout that made him remove the weight vest. That feels almost as good as making an FNG puke. I consider it a badge of honor.
    * My shot was off. Must have been the wind
    * At first I was skeptical of Mahyems 10-count hip-slap, shoulder-tap merkin. I’m now fully on board having developed what I have now decided to call the Pecker Mayhem. This will prove to be the pinnacle of Mayhemdom

  • The Daniel – from Kilo

    YHC woke up ready to Q, ready to pick up the pace to get through this week and ready to honor one of our fallen heroes. Inspired by The Architect’s callout a few weeks ago to Q more this was my 2nd Q in as many weeks. And so on the Eve of El Diablo, YHC did what all good non professional trainers do… googled “hero workouts” and scrolled a little bit until the Daniel popped up. The PAX came out from the gloom, some in cars, some on foot coffee in hand, some on bikes and we began the Thang.

    The THANG:

    WOR: SSH, GG, Hillbilly’s, Slow Pagodas, Imperial Walkers, and finished with some TIE Fighters

    @ the Playground
    5 Rounds: 10 pull-ups, 10 merkins, hold a plank and rotate

    Mosey to the track for a 400 m Washington Football Team Run

    Rock Pile Partners: 10 thrusters, merkins, 11 thrusters, merkins

    Mosey to the track for 800 m on your own

    Different partners: 10 squats, merkins, 11 squats, merkins

    Started a Washington Football Team run but cut it short, PAX were beginning to think something was wrong with YHC… moseyed to a wide spot in the road,

    20 count merkin Ring of Fire
    Broga
    10 count merking Ring of Fire (lest Vagabond not feel like he was exercising)

    Finished with COT: Gratitude for community of F3

    SYITG

  • TA’s 2nd Maniversary – from Architect

    YHC was not in the mood for running…seems to be a theme lately.

    Disclaimer, warm-ups, late arrivals, really late arrivals, new faces, grumbling….all signs of a good day.

    Exercise 1 – 7 Mins in Heaven – 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 Squats, 28 FKs, repeat for 7 mins.

    Rocks selected –
    R1 – 12 Thrusters
    R2 – 12 Curls, 10 Thrusters
    R3 – 12 AHammers, 10 Curls, 8 Thrusters
    R4 – 12 Declined Merkin, 10 AHammers, 8 Curls, 6 Thrusters
    R5 – 12 “Hell Raisers”, 10 DMs, 8 AHammers, 6 Curls, 4 Thrusters
    R6 – 12 Rows, 10 “HRs”, 8 DMs, 6 AHammers, 4 Curls, 2 Thrusters
    R7 – 12 Rock Passes, 10 Rows, 8 “HRs”, 6 DMs, 4 AHammers, 2 Curls

    Replace Rocks and CoT.

    Prayers for the Holidays and Great to see Gumbo join us!

  • Dirty McDooty – from Vagabond

    Warm up in motion run backwards a lot
    Dirty McDeuce

    Exercise and bear crawl ramp and run around gym

    Merkins
    Big bois
    Squats

    Curls
    Flashers
    Bonnie Blair’s 2 is 1

    overhead press
    LBCs
    Side lunges

    shoulder taps 2 is 1
    V ups
    Lunges 2 is 1

    chest press
    Russian twist 2 is 1
    Squat kick

  • Dirty McDooty – from Vagabond

    Warm up in motion run backwards a lot
    Dirty McDeuce

    Exercise and bear crawl ramp and run around gym

    Merkins
    Big bois
    Squats

    Curls
    Flashers
    Bonnie Blair’s 2 is 1

    overhead press
    LBCs
    Side lunges

    shoulder taps 2 is 1
    V ups
    Lunges 2 is 1

    chest press
    Russian twist 2 is 1
    Squat kick