F3 New Orleans

Tag: Fetch

  • Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    Gnarly Nutria IV The Uptown Funk

    YHC began Wednesday morning like any other Wednesday morning with a quality 45 minute beatdown at Popeyes (this Wednesday led by the always dangerous Darkwing Duck). YHC’s thoughts quickly turned to the Gnarly Nutria as a nutria was spotted by Hokie Pokey running in the grass near the Pax. YHC took this as a strong omen for an upcoming victory for the World. The native nutria had come out from its hole to bless the World on the morning of the Gnarly Nutria.

    YHC’s confidence continued to grow as he arrived at the Gnarly Nutria to see members of the World surrounding him as the World came out in force. Surely the World would continue their winning streak and extend their dominance over the Uptowners on their home turf. Reluctant Yankee shouted out the rules and scoring system and led the racers to the starting line.

    A record 91 men lined up for the 4th running of the Gnarly Nutria. 51 for the World. 28 for the Uptowners. 12 for the Northshore. After an odd 2 minute countdown, the runners were off in the humidity and the heat for 5.4 miles of sweaty, stupid joy.

    As YHC rounded the first turn of the Gnarly Nutria with Tua and Heisenberg by his side, he his extreme confidence in a victory began to fade and he knew the world might be in trouble in spite of their superior numbers. A mass of Uptowners burst forward past him with a speed the World would be unable to match.

    Then the funk hit. YHC doesn’t want to know what the Uptowners are doing in their fabled Audubon park but the stink of the park was strong last night and surely slowed down the time of the World and the NorthShore who aren’t accustomed to the Uptown Funk.

    Flatline can hold his head high and claim the title “Fastest Man in F3NOLA” for the next 12 months. Flatline finished the Gnarly Nutria IV in a blistering fast 33 minutes. ESPN8 came in second with 35 minutes. In-Time came in third with a time of 38 minutes. Mulligan finished fourth with 39 minutes and Isobar rounded out the top 5 with 39 minutes and 40 seconds.

    4 of the top 5 were Uptowners with In-Time the top finisher for the NorthShore and Shuffles coming in 7th with the top place for the World. Thanks to their domination in speed, the Uptowners overcame the World’s superior numbers.

    The Uptowners won Gnarly Nutria IV with 326 points.

    The World came in second with 260 points

    Northshore came in third with a respectable 127 points coming from only 12 runners.

    Tripleshift wins the award for most significant run of the night as he rucksaked the race in honor of Terabyte who went to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ earlier this year.

    Bogey wins the award for most beautiful face of the night. Thanks for keeping score and being the pretty face waiting for us at the finish line.

    The After Party

    The Pax of 91 – 5 gathered together for post-race Name-O-Rama and the announcements of the winner and top finishers. The Pax began with a moment of silence and prayer thanking God for Terabyte and the role he played in F3NOLA.

    Followed by a far too long Counterama, followed by a far too long Name-O-Rama, the Pax named 9 FNGs. I am guessing that is a new F3NOLA FNG record. Welcome to Mallrats, Bangs, Johnny Football, Polaroid, Mumbles, Body Shots, Incandescent, Apollo, and Hot Pants.

    The Pax gathered together for the infamous sweaty ball-o-man as YHC closed the Pax out in prayer thanking God for the evening and asking Him to use F3 to impact the lives of more men in NOLA. F3 means so much to all of us and may we not hog and hide the friendship, accountability, and growth we have received in F3. Continue to find those men at your work, neighborhood, and in your families who are isolated and struggling. The average American man has less than one friend. YHC has 91. You have 91. Pass this friendship on to others.

    Your Humble Correspondent,

    Rev Sox

    The Results

    1. Flatline
    2. ESPN8
    3. In Time
    4. Mulligan
    5. Isobar
    6. Waterpik
    7. Shuffles
    8. Turbo Tax
    9. Cavalier
    10. Mahatma-Ice
    11. Screw Top
    12. Cowbell
    13. Tinkles
    14. Saban
    15. Fetch
    16. Baby Bjorn
    17. FNG Alex
    18. El Guapo
    19. Sea Biscuit
    20. Sandbar
    21. Rudy
    22. Ya Mom’n Dem
    23. 86
    24. Shorty
    25. SOGO
    26. Jadaveon
    27. Two Yutes
    28. FNG Deano?
    29. Backdraft
    30. Jesus Juice
    31. Nip Tuck
    32. FNG
    33. Heisenberg
    34. Speedy Gonzalez
    35. Quarter Pipe
    36. Bartman
    37. Rev Sox
    38. Tua
    39. FNG
    40. Shooter
    41. FNG
    42. Pai Gow
    43. Amnesia
    44. Bongo
    45. FracSac
    46. Ocho
    47. FNG
    48. Einstein
    49. Nine Lives
    50. Kuch
    51. Kiss
    52. Tool
    53. Baywatch
    54. Gideon
    55. Chewy
    56. Reluctant Yankee
    57. Gumby
    58. FNG
    59. PoBoy
    60. Woz
    61. FNG
    62. FNG
    63. War Eagle
    64. Tanner
    65. FNG
    66. Hawg
    67. Surge
    68. Chowda
    69. Chips
    70. Darkwing Duck
    71. Hokey Pokey
    72. Triple Shift
    73. Jose 10k
    74. Bushwacker
    75. Brown Bag
    76. Earmuffs
    77. Squeal
    78. Moist
    79. DaParish
    80. Uncle Si
    81. Colonial
    82. Mambi
    83. Short Bus
    84. Left Eye
    85. King Kong
    86. Amnesty
    87. Seaman
    88. Cash Bar
    89. Gold Bar
    90. FNG
    91. FNG

  • Fly and Die

    Gnarly little beatdown planned to work the heartrate in preparation for the Gnarly Nutria. Some highlights: Gatsby’s 2.0 Flying on the flats and dying on the Stairs, Angie’s List’s colon blowouts, El Wire’s hand signal at the video breakdown, the random plastic buckets at the top of WPM, the heat in the stairwells… 29 PAX for a 5th of July run through of WPM!

    Good luck to PEPPA who has his first flights for Southwest this afternoon.

    A good morning then jog over to WPM.

    Disclaimer on the MTN.

    SSH X 20, IMP Squats x 20, Jlo-s x 20 and Merks x 20

    Up the stairs to the top of WPM

    On the TOP – we did Bicycles x 20, Low COuntry Crabs x 20, Dying Roach x 20 and RTwist x 20 — Then we did a loop – down the stairs and up the opposite stairs.

    Did Squats with Sally DOWN/ UP – (FLower by Moby)

    Then another stair loop

    Did Plank Jacks with Merks for Roxanne by the Police. Every Roxanne – merk Every Put on the Red Light = Plank Jack

    Then we did another loop on the stairs.

    At the TOP we used those giant plastic bins to do Dips x 20, Decline shoulder taps x 30 OYO, Bulgarian Split Left x 20, Incline Merks x 12, and Bulgarian Split Right x 20.

    Still had a few minutes so we did LBC x 20 and Freddy Mercury x 20.

    Down to the FLAG and circle up.

    COT–prayed for our deployed and committed to being better men

  • Competing in the only race that matters

    “Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.” – Frank Herbert

    Saturday the Mothership and the Muscleship competed. A workout was drawn up, and the groups pushed themselves and their teammates to finish. It was like any other day. All paid the same price, and all got the same result: sleep, sweat, comfort were offered in return for change, improvement, fulfillment. This workout was different, but exactly the same; all competed, and all reaped the rewards.

    In this era of participation trophies and certificates of completion, it may sound trite to say there were no losers. You might even shake your head reading that sentence. In any competition, someone must win, and someone must lose.

    Everyday we compete against the forces that would detract from who and what we are: complacency, laziness, disengagement. Everyday, we take a step toward winning that battle when we rise early and trade in our warm comfortable bed for a chance to change, be better, seek fulfillment. Everyday is another step in winning the only race that matters. Everyday we take that step, we’ve taken a step toward victory.

    For one year now, minus some time on the shelf here and there, I’ve been taking that step. It starts off small enough – show up for some kind of workout out on a Saturday morning and be absolutely destroyed by Disclaimer. That’s how it started for me at least. It felt like the only thing I did right that day, one year ago, was show up. It definitely did not feel like a victory. But urged on by others, I showed up for a few more. And then a few more. And all of a sudden, I was showing up all the time. And things got a little clearer. And the fight became a bit easier. And I began to feel like I was winning it.

    And I’m not the only one. I watch you all improve daily. You inspire me. I watched Angie’s List crank out 25 pull-ups without stopping Saturday. While an accomplishment on its own, that’s not the crazy part. By his own admission, he could not do 1 when he started F3. How’s that for change?

    On Saturday I watched guys do extra to help those around them, not to win a competition. I watched slower guys move faster and faster guys push harder to help the slower guys. At any given workout, I’m the slow guy, the fast guy, or sometimes both at the same workout. But I’m not racing Douille (who I believe was first to finish in our group) or Catfish or Screwtop or any of the other guys who probably ran a faster mile than I could have while fresh. I’m racing against complacency, laziness, and comfort. We all are, and it’s the only race that matters. On Saturday, that battle was won by all.

    Thanks for a great year of helping me fight that battle daily. – Kuch