F3 New Orleans

Tag: Grandma's House

  • The Light at the End of the Tunnel – from Steve

    Ha, more like the stagnant dead air and the swarming horseflies at the end of the tunnel.

    With summer just beginning, there is no light just yet, only the impenetrable wall of humidity. But one bright spot is Jose being off for the summer, which means that the tunnel is back in play over at Granny’s.

    We kicked it old school this morning, with an easy mosey over there, a quick set of B.L.I.M.P.S, half-walk, half-mosey back, some leg work at the depot, and an abbreviated Mary. Bushwacker would’ve been extremely disappointed.

    Thanks Jose for the consistency and the friendship, appreciate it brother.

  • Snatch those Mahi Mahi’s at the Pink Taco Stand Before Heading Down For Your Box Lunch – from Steve

    Much like getting stock tips from Celeste and Lisa, witnessing Jose & Shooter scissoring with wild abandon, or even stumbling across an unofficial poll hand-scrawled across the stage’s concrete walls that somehow deems height a more desirable trait than personality (c’mon!) – there are certain events at Granny’s that require careful preservation.

    Unfortunately, that ain’t happening today. This event is already two weeks old, and sadly, I just don’t have the steel trap that Hammer and Jose possess.

    What I can remember:

    There was a lot of talk of reruns. Bush had insulted Jose the day before at the Marsh, and then on this fine morning decided to both rehash his argument and dig in a little deeper. It wasn’t pretty.

    It’s also possible that aside from the insults, the beatdown itself was (claps hands) i-dentical. As Jose always says, we’d know if we ever wrote backblasts.

    And then, of course, there was the titular, off-color comment (again, Bush – he was on a roll this morning) that started it all. It unfortunately can’t be repeated here, but let’s just say that it involved Jose enjoying mahi mahi tacos not just on vacation but at home also.

    Anyway, I guess my grandpa was right when he told me that age is no guarantee of maturity.

    Thank you gents (& Bushwacker) for the post and for the laughs.

    ** As I was trying to find a title for this backblast, it occurred to me what a missed opportunity this was that Jose’s 14-year-old students didn’t get to have a crack at this BB.

    *** Russo, if you’re reading this, we miss you brother!

  • It’s all about perspective! – from Shooter

    Famous word of the day from sir Wacker.
    Perspective.
    Whether it’s being a firefighter, a father, a loyal postmaster, grass cutter etc.let one not take for granted each of those moments we have throughout the day.

    After an extended warmup because of the banter back and forth between Jose10k and Wacker we moseyed down the trailhead towards the tunnel. PAX assumed we were headed there, however we turned around at the corner and back to the stage for the Cooper.
    It’s in the Exicon but not sure of its origin.
    R/R to the corner for the last mosey. Returned for some ETKs with 50 💯s between and after closing with 10 WW1 sit-ups.

    We found out Wacker has aged by a decade, as he conversed with the returning runners.
    We gave him some respect and prayed out for the recovery of Steve’s grandfather at an impressive 98 years young.. Steve has some solid genes in the family tree.. That explains the young appearance and smiling face always available when he post..

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • One is the loneliest number – from Jose10k

    Russo? Where are you? Steve? Shooter? Coachella? Chewy? Where is everyone? Bushwacker? What the hell yall? I guess it was a tough beatdown from the previous morning?!?!? No one posted?!?!? Oh well, yall missed it. I had such a workout today that even Bushwacker would have been proud of. He would have had nothing to grumble grumble about. Let me tell you about it…….

  • Anyone Home? – from Shooter

    Hello! Good morning! Are you alright? Anyone there? Give us something already sir Wacker..
    5 PAX converged on grandma’s place with all types of chatter. However, one PAX needed a little more warming up to the Gloom to get it started, while others were primed and ready to deliver..Akbar surprised us all posting on this Gloom, and Jose10k wasted no time grilling why he missed the Marsh on Monday when he was signed up to Q. After debate back and forth for a min YHC got the PAX warmed up with 10IC arm circles, Cherry pickers, Imperial walkers and hillbillies. Moseyed halfway around to the stage with instructions provided for the walls of Jericho.
    7 reps each exercise followed by 7 moseys around the trailhead.
    8 count bodybuilder
    Jump squats
    Groiners
    Carolina dry docks
    Donkey kickoffs
    Apollo Onos
    Merkins

    With 2 mins remaining ETKs 15IC each side..

    Circled up, count annouce and COT..

    Until the next gloom 👊🏼👍🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Six Months In – from Steve

    If you missed Granny’s this past Tuesday, then you missed the customary gifting of a cinderblock that happens after six months of posting. (That’s right, somehow Coachella has passed the six-month mark, though how that’s possible when YHC swears he just started two months ago is beyond me.)

    Jose enlisted his junior high talented art class to hand paint one of our beloved coupons, trying their best to out-paint Waterpik and his tiger cinderblock. The result was a wild watercolor collage of some of Coachella’s favorite things: medieval plate armor, d10 dice, block blast, dead bears, and this cool matrix-like code covering the whole thing.

    Shooter officiated the ceremony, unveiling the freshly painted block as Jose played one of his classics, the extended cut of “Jenny Says.”

    Ok maybe that didn’t happen. But apparently, this IS a thing in F3 Houston. And since it was mentioned, and Coachella did indeed hit the six month mark, we offered one of our dirt-crusted coupons up in honor of his milestone. In all sincerity, it has been incredibly inspiring seeing Coach hit the type of consistency he’s had over the last few weeks. (Though, he’ll have to stencil that block on his own.)

    Anyway, beatdown was as follows:

    Grab a coupon, head to the stairs for some 11’s: Curls up top, squat thrusters down below, rifle carry the coupon up the stairs for each round.

    After that we did some Lt. Dan’s down to the stage, where we knocked out some Sister Mary’s in cadence, as well as some merkins (and maybe some other stuff?), before heading back to the stairs for the second round of 11’s with the coupon:

    Chest presses at the bottom, Alpos up top.

    Finally, over to the new benches for some more leg work: Bulgarians, step downs, etc.

    Finished with a quick run through of as many Mary exercises as we could squeeze into 4 minutes, and then on to COT, where Shooter prayed us out. Thank you gentlemen for the accountability and for the camaraderie- it means a lot. Also, looking forward to Russo’s return – I know Granny has missed her favorite Pax.

  • Just the two of us – from Steve

    With Bushwacker no showing, intimidated by the difficulty of my recent workouts, I was grateful that Jose was man enough to show up to work out. I have lost respect for the Wacker. Can’t join a good workout, can’t Q a difficult workout (Steve’s words Bush). Any who, warm-ups, a couple of jabs towards Bushwacker). Burpees and Bear crawls is about all I can remember!

  • Wall to Wall Disappointment – from Steve

    Man, this was the kinda crowd where you gotta have your coffee before you show up to Q. That or a shot of Jaegermeister.

    Not only did YHC have Bush texting the night before, making sure it would be an “impactful” beatdown before he committed to posting, but I had the Wacker progeny after me as well, with Duke apparently complaining that morning that, “Oh Mr. Steve’s workouts are never that hard.”

    Et tu, Duke?

    YHC had the last laugh, though, conjuring images of Mandeville’s long-dormant Machete Man just before Duke attempted to relieve his bladder in Granny’s bamboo forest. The little man noped right outta there!

    Now I can’t say that this beatdown was impactful, but hey, we did try a few new things. Started each round with a different wall exercise at the far end of the corridor, followed by another exercise x15 at each of three points around the trailhead, before circling back for some calf raises. Rinse and repeat.

    The wall (and subsequent) exercises were:
    BTTW crawl —> 15 jump squats (x3)
    Donkey Kicks x15 —> 15 merkins (x3)
    Hip Slappers x 15 IC —> 15x big boys (x3)
    People’s Chair w/ Air Presses x 100 —> 15x SMK’s IC (x3)
    Dirty hookup x15 (2:1) —> 15x T-merkins (x3)

    Everyone was bummed that we had to save the Chicken Peckers for a later date, but hey, we did get to hear many tales along the way.

    We learned that Jose on vacation in Grenada is the same Jose that we get every week: he nearly memorialized his 10k status on TripAdvisor, threatening the airline that he’d run from the hotel to the airport if they didn’t provide a taxi to get his lost luggage. Considering Jose’s recent mastery of the backblast, I think we can all agree that the world has been deprived of a very unique TripAdvisor review.

    What else… Three of the pax (Russo, Bush, Cowbell) had successfully run the Crescent City Classic over the weekend. Cowbell reminisced about the time the amphitheater bats chased him down the block. Duke counted cadence with the salty authority of the gunnery sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. (Duke also showed us the opposite of “intensify to modify,” with his Dead Superman modification of the t-merkins reminding me of the old days and the infamous “Nacho plank.”) Bushwacker lit fire to his reputation as a tight wad and made it rain this weekend, buying trips and vehicles that would’ve given the Bush of old an aneurism. And last, but certainly not least, we learned that you don’t cut in front of bear-killer Coachella at the lunch line at Piccadilly, even if you are a child. Bad things happen and this man has no problem stepping over your dead body for another scoop of carrot soufflé.

    COT, announcements of the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, Legal’s party on May 10th, and Coachella’s birthday party coming up in June. Stay tuned for details on the latter, which promises to be a Breakfast Club-type collision of stereotypes. And finally, Russo prayed us out.

    T-claps to Coach, who is making a concerted effort to post to multiple weekday beatdowns from here on out. (Be on the lookout for him at Thursday’s Scramble, minus the plate armor.)

    And thank you gentlemen for posting this morning and pushing me to get a little better. Appreciate you.

    Except for Bushwacker, who summarized my effort to make this an impactful beatdown as…

    “Eh.”

  • What’s my password? I should write it down. – from Russo

    Here’s the progression of thought: I forgot it was Tax day, and the next thing you know, the conversation revolves around passwords (not the super cool TV game show) and secret IRA and checking accounts. One thing leads to another, and then it’s “I’m at the age where I feel like if I died I’d have done a good enough job and my family would be ok”, preceded by “yeah we’re at that drop dead age now.” Once again, you had to be there.

    Here’s a few passwords for today’s beatdown:

    “Solid” – some people are just dependable. Some are not. Steve is the former. A regular at Granny’s, even when it’s not his Q.

    “Weatheriswarmer” – not the kind of stifling heat and humidity yet, but juuuuust on the cusp.

    “Babysitter247” – Steve’s got young entrepreneurs that are learning the value of a dollar.

    “Getofftheroad911” – my 2.0 is itching to get out on the road after one day of driver’s ed. Get your errands done early.

    Warmup (all 10x IC)
    – Imperial walkers
    – Arm circles
    – Good mornings
    – Grass grabbers
    – Torso twists
    – Cherry pickers

    Thang
    Mosey to the bridge, where at every block it was 20 plankjacks and 20 squats.

    At the bridge: 7s (Peter Parker’s merkins and Donkey kicks)

    Between:
    – Mosey 2x
    – Carioca
    – Back pedal
    – Lunge walk
    – Side Shuffle

    Back at the pad, Mary included some 15x IC core (LBC, Gas Pumps, Penguins, Crunchy Frogs).

    COT, NOR, Announcements, and Prayer closed us out. SYITG

  • Workout Review: Grandmas House, The Marsh of Madness Rated R for Ridiculousness, Regret, and Rampant Burpee Abuse. An movie inspired back blast for a resident film editor: Steve – from Steve

    This morning’s workout was led by none other than Steve, a man with the calm demeanor of a yoga instructor and the workout intensity of a caffeinated Navy SEAL. Spirits were high, the weather was decent, and then—it happened. Frank opened his mouth.
    STARRING

    Steve as The Relentless Commander
    Fitness guru? Torture artist? Hard to say. Wears a watch that doesn’t tell time—it tells reps.

    Frank as The Unfiltered Oracle. He was the reason we couldn’t keep cadence
    Speaks only in political hot takes May or may not be sponsored by FoxNews.

    Shooter as The Deer Whisperer
    Disappears in the woods, can camp out with just a tarp and a stick. If the emp hits us, the only one of us who could survive because he know how to purify his own urine.

    Russo as The Conspiracy Theorist
    Chem trails, JFK assassination, Bigfoot, he knows all of the worlds secrets. Keeps a personal vendetta against half-reps.

    Jose10k as The Distance Demon
    Runs 10K before the workout just to feel warm. Laughs at burpees because he rely does them. Rumored to have an actual sponsorship from Advil.

    What followed was less a fitness session and more a live taping of a political stand-up special. The laughter was so violent, we couldn’t keep cadence or count. Hell, at one point I think someone tried to do a jumping jack and just fell over laughing. It was chaos. Steve tried to restore order like a desperate substitute teacher, but the image of Frank talking politics and Trump had the floor—and the filibuster.

    Eventually, we moseyed to the marsh, where Steve unveiled his twisted plan. Every stop sign became a mini-Hell: 5 Kraken burpees , 10 Sister Mary Catherines 10 and gas pumps
    Now Steve claimed it was “only 5 Kraken burpees,” but time warped. I aged. I saw my ancestors. I met a raccoon who offered me a cigarette and said, “You don’t wanna go back in there.”

    Sadly (or perhaps wisely), I had to leave early. But here’s how I imagine it played out after my escape:

    Final Act: “Marshageddon”

    Steve, shirtless and shimmering with sweat like a demigod forged in pre-workout, leads the group deeper into the foggy marsh. Frank, in spirit form, still monologuing about the federal reserve, is doing bear crawls backward while reciting Reagan speeches.

    Suddenly, Steve bellows, “MERMAN DRILLS!” Everyone dives into a stagnant puddle. Two men don’t resurface. Gas pumps evolve into explosive gas pump combos. Sister Mary descends from the heavens with a kettlebell and blesses the pain.

    The final challenge? Shooter pulling his Fit out of the marsh using only resistance bands and pure arm strength.

    They return to the parking lot mud-soaked, spiritually broken, and somehow stronger. No one speaks. They simply nod, silently agreeing to never speak of this morning again.

    10/10.
    Would recommend to people I hate.
    Bring a towel, a therapist, and maybe a priest.

    After COT, there is a post credit scene.
    [POST-CREDITS SCENE: “Marsh of Madness” – The Swamp Strikes Again]

    Fade in: eerie silence. Fog hangs low over the marsh. A single stop sign stands crooked, half-submerged in murky water.

    [Camera pans slowly…]

    A lone figure appears in the distance… it’s Frank, shirtless, wearing compression shorts and Crocs. He’s holding a whiteboard and a megaphone.

    Frank (yelling into the void):
    “Let’s talk about the real reason burpees were invented—government control!”

    The marsh ripples. Something stirs beneath the surface.

    [Suddenly, bubbles rise… a Kraken tentacle shoots up, slapping the whiteboard out of his hands.]

    Frank (unfazed):
    “Oh, you’ve been listening to the mainstream media workout plans, haven’t you?”