F3 New Orleans

Tag: Kilo

  • Good to see people – from Charmin

    As usual, YHC arrived to find the runners there early and even a few KnOTters. By the time 5:30 arrived, Boo-Boo was there to ruck, in addition to bringing news that Bolt would be arriving shortly.

    After going around the track and finding all the gates locked, we met with Bolt on the track and realized that our neighborhood time would need to be brief.

    On YHC’s way back, we saw a Rougarou leaving saying that he’s finally had it with walking backwards. “Why can we walk forwards, and get to our stretching spot quicker?” he muttered under his breath before crossing over the train tracks.

    COT ended with praying for all those struggling physically, but more importantly mentally. Don’t hesitate on reaching out to fellow Pax.

  • 2nd Manniversary – from Pool Boy

    Warmups consisted of
    SSH’s
    Imperial Walkers
    Grass Grabbers
    Burpees
    Abe Vigoda’s
    THANG
    1.Grab a rock and head to the Pavilion for 3 rounds of:
    Curls
    Dips
    Step Ups
    Decline Merkins
    2.Headed to the parking lot
    Run to the fire hydrant and back to the start with exercises consisting of SSH’s, LBC’s and Merkins
    3.Ring of Fire
    Rifle carry while the one in the middle did burpees on first round and squats on the second
    We finished with some donkey kicks, burpees and lunges

    We welcomed FNG Kilo to the group.
    Mary and COT

  • Dora’s lazy mean sister – from Kenna Brah

    Birthday Q
    8/7/61

    Arm Circles
    Twists
    Imperial Walkers
    Abe Vigoda
    Low Slow Squat

    Flora 1-2-3

    100 Merkins – P1 does 10 with feet on coupon. P2 holds plank with feet on his coupon. Flapjack.

    200 LBCs – P1 does 20 LBC holding coupon high on chest. P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, and extends arms w/ coupon over chest. Flapjack.

    300 Goblet Squats – P1 does 25 goblet squats. P2 lowers to bottom of goblet squat w/ coupon, and holds. Flapjack.

    200 LBCs – P1 does 20 LBC holding coupon high on chest. P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, and extends arms w/ coupon over chest. Flapjack.

    100 Merkins – P1 does 10 with feet on coupon. P2 holds plank with feet on his coupon.
    Rifle/any carry down to the gazebo for some recovery stretches
    Return to rock pit for Ring of fire till times up – then backwards walk/jog to flag
    COT

  • Be the Rock! – from Goldilocks

    Goldilocks showed up to the Lion’s Den fifteen minutes early to a bit of a drizzle. No one was there which made Lox’s heart thump a little bit. Did he come to the place? However, Goose and Pope showed up which made his little heart calm down. The rest of the Pax showed up to Goldilocks’ VQ and we were ready to roll.

    The warmups were the normal: SSH, Wind Mills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, cherry pickers, and some self love. Lox was excited and his cadence may have been quicker then the Pax was accustomed too, but it got the job done!

    Thang #1

    Lox then revealed the theme: St. Peter, the Rock of the Church. The Pax would follow in his footsteps as seen in the last chapter of the Gospel of John. This would begin with an Indian Run with the last person doing five merkins before sprinting to the front. St. Peter was running away from his vocation, and was a little proud so the Pax needed to get their chest big like him. He was also a fisherman so DJ Dox and his faithful sidekick JBL played some drunken sailor tunes for us. Members like Smooth and Michelin kicked into high gear and sprinted faster than the eye can see, but Cardinal still slowed down the pace (guess he didn’t wanna run too far from our Lord).

    Thang #2

    Bear crawl into 14 Bonnie Blair’s and 15 Diamond Merkins followed by crab walk into 14 J Lo’s and 15 squat jumps (x3) 29 reps on each side. June 29th is St. Peter’s Feast Day.

    Lox then brought us to the next part of the Pax’s journey with St. Peter. The Lord had asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?”. Peter responded, “Yes, Lord you know that I love you.” Jesus then told him to feed his sheep. So the Pax would get at feeding dem lambs! This would entail a bear crawl to chase after the lost sheep catching them with some lunges and merks, but then the Pax had to bring the sheep back home with a bear crawl and the celebrate the return of lost sheep with some J Lo’s and squat jumps. DJ Dox gave us some Bieber to inspire us to work admit not knowing what the Lord was up to.
    The Pax felt good after only doing this once (Econdoline hadn’t even given us a grunt yet!) Lox then crushed their spirits reminding the Pax that the Lord asked the same question a second time. So the Pax got after it again for round 2. DJ Dox hit us up with some Queen and Econdoline gave us his famous grunts. Meanwhile Cardinal was still smoking all of us in crab walking, and Smooth was showing us his hips don’t lie with those sets of J Lo’s which would inevitably win him GiGi.
    The Pax crawled in after round 2 only to get hit again with the same thang. The Lord had asked Peter a third time, leading Peter to frustration. Lox hit the Pax with round 3, which led to the same response. Round 3 showed us what was really happening. Dox was tired of Cardinal smoking the Pax in crab walks, so he played some defense and sacrificed himself to get in the way of the flaming Cardinal, only slowing him down a bit. What a courageous solider that Dox is! Michelin showed some real heart as Lox yelled at the Pax to BE THE ROCK! This would win him Animal! Goose still finished first as always.

    Thang #3

    The Pax ended with some Mary, knowing that it is only with her help that we can follow the Lord admits trial and tribulation.

    Lox is super grateful for these F3 brothers, and is inspired everyday by their unwavering commitment to each other and to their own health. Keep going strong and be that rock! COT and pray led by Michelin closed us out.

  • On the Road Again – from Paradox

    Well Im running down the road trying to loosen my load , I got 7 Pax on my mind. 4 that wanna own me, 2 that wanna stone me and one says he’s a friend of mine!

    Come on Yankeeeeee, don’t say maybe!

    I gotta know if His sweet love is gonna Save me!

    We may lose and we may win
    But we will never be here again
    So let’s warm up , mountain climbin in and take it easy…

    Duke! Get the footage and plug Bucees into the gps
    It’s time to hit the road. (Jack)

    Today YHC wanted to kickoff the Easter season through one of my favorite resurrection stories : The Road to Emmaus
    It gives such a different perspective from two disciples heading home from Jerusalem and highlights many of YHCs struggles like expectations and contentment.

    7 strong at the stage with really fine cool spring weather, perfect for making music with my friends.

    Warmup
    The usuals and a bumper mosey with mild to moderate chatter including Tana (welcome back Kotter) in full blown insubordination and Kilo wasting no time tweaking the Qs transitions after missing roughly the last 97 beat downs. The man has clearly been keeping his knives sharp during the layoff. Even a seasoned Q questioner like Goose could respect the effort. T-claps. Most other notable chatter surrounding the incredible confirmation cookout for two of our pax last night and the unbridled power of 50 plus kids.

    To set the stage and mindset of these disciples we got started with a little F3 classic Flowers by Moby
    They brought Christ up and then down and they thought he left them to weap and moan….
    Alternate squats and Leg Raise.
    Always a joy Moby.

    Mosey to the yet to be named Finance Office lot where we tested out the fresh pavement with our first Gospel trivia.

    How many miles from Jerusalem to Emmaus?
    The pax overshot at 14 and paid with 10 oyo burpees

    A little trivia interlude with “On the Road Again “ by Willie Nelson.
    Rocky Balboas on parking bumper during song , burpee on Road . Ronnie with a JBL sponsored BreakOut Performance hitting some groovy rhythm looking like a young Travolta out there. Must have been a few drops of Jucifer left in the tank.

    Second trivia round where pax correctly guessed the Gospel of Luke and reduced the reps to 5 burpees .

    Mosey To Corner of Richmans loop

    Trivia 3 where YJ quickly answered Cleopas as the named disciple and not to be confused with YHCs uncle Clofas who always lets you know that “he knows his rights “

    For the remainder of the beatdown we ran the “big track “ with intermittent excerpts from the Road to Emmaus as our ten counts.
    We completed dry docks, Australian angels , and SSH in increasing fashion on the corners.

    Lastly, hopefully inspired by the disciples revelation, we made an all out push for the flag in running fashion as we left our own beatdown expectations behind. Great effort to push through the pain together here.

    Goose handed down the coveted Animal shirt and YHC is already doing hallway merkins to make sure the threads are peak strain on Thursday.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out.

    Tremendous gratitude for all God is providing in this community .

    NMM

    Sometimes YHC really pumps up my own expectations and discontent leading to further chaos and an endless search for the “greener pasture “. The story of the road to Emmaus always reminds me of how we can look back and see what God placed all around us even when we were too busy to see it unfold.

    With our own plans the sounds of our own wheels can drive us crazy! So lighten up while you still can. Don’t even try to understand. Just find a place to make a stand and take it easyyyyy!

    That’s all I have to say about that

    See y’all on that gloomy Road

    Dox

  • “Yote Time”: written by Coyote – from Goose

    Once we got there, the first thing YHC saw was the dreaded Montana Bun as it was swaying in the chill wind, with its little curl. I couldn’t take my eyes off until Paradox said, “What’s up Yote!” YHC replied, “Where’s the other doc?” and then started the warmups. We did the normal stuff such as Side-straddle-hops and Windmills and Imperial Walkers, but YHC did something special, some “Throw me something misters”, now, everybody liked that, but after a while we started an Indian run with the back person doing five bonnie blaires (2is1) and running to the front of the line all the way to the field. Then we started the fun stuff, we picked partners and YHC told a little story about a guy who was chased by a buffalo, so we set up cones and partner 1 sprinted to the first cone and got passed right when partner 2 sprinted after him as he started to bunny hop to the third cone. Red fish was YHC’s partner, so it was hard to catch him, but YHC got him down, and he had to do five burpees. Then we switched, and YHC got away with it, and Redfish had to do five buffalo kicks. Everybody did it again, and we all moseyed to the chimney and YHC told a story about a guy who purposely got bitten by an alligator snapping turtle, and we set up more cones in a zig-zag pattern, and we bear crawled to each cone. As Goose trampled the pax, we got to the cones and did shoulder taps and then karaoke ran to the cones and did burpees. Redfish and YHC were neck and neck for who would get there first, until he tripped on his own foot, and YHC got there first. After a while, we moseyed to the Thunderdome and did two rings of fire, one with LBC’s and elbow plank jacks to 75. And then we did this song that was a Gaelic song that was turned into a techno song, we did calf jumps to the beat during the refrain and squats during the verses. For four long minuets we jumped and squatted until the song ended and we flopped onto the ground, worn out to the bone. We moseyed to the tennis court and played tennis with a volleyball. While doing exercises, we hit the ball back and forth, every time a person would hit it, that person had to do a burpee, and every time a team got a point, the other team did 5 merkins. We moseyed back to the flag and did the alphabet, and after all 16 people did nameoff, counting 2 FNG’s, YHC went off to the side, and did cooldown exercises. Paradox and Enron didn’t want to leave me hanging, so they came over and did them with YHC, now we have this group called “Cooldowns with Yote”.

  • JERICHO – from Paradox

    8 pax on a crisp cool morning at the Stage. With a large group of our pax starting the Exodus 90 journey today YHC thought it pertinent to reinforce a few principles of “breaking down walls”. During a recent bedtime story session, my 2.0s selected the walls of Jericho story (Joshua 6) and in usual fashion the follow up questions had my brain in a pretzel. My son asked what if the soldiers didn’t want to walk around Jericho and they just ran home ? My daughter following with “were there pets in there? What about stuffed animals?”

    Like whoaaa, Did someone spike the Mac and cheese tonight? This led to a re-reading of the scripture, some deep northshore research to find an ole Grundy Q and 4 hours of calculating exactly what year Yankee Jeaux was born. Let’s dive in.

    Warmup
    Abbreviated Standard with a bumper mosey and …I mean Tana those cherry pickers are Something.

    A quick intro that one of the important steps of any rigorous spiritual exercise is relying on others. Recognition that others have strengths and some God given gifts …like sound volume and base. While others have clarity and portability. You know where I’m heading. YHC unveiled that this beatdown was brought to you by ….BAPS. Day by day we heal the scars of the great Bluetooth schism that ultimately took Ankers life. Gone but not forgotten.

    Anker Tribute
    At the start of our exodus journey you are asked to consider your “WHY ?”
    Well traditionally any deep philosophical question in our pax goes through Cardinal and Goose but today we settled for the next best thing ….the resident theologian Lil Jon asked us all “what will you turn down for”
    burpees on “turn down “
    SSH on rest
    **that Wiley old fox Enron smelled this one from a mile away , we’ll come back to strange smells later. Stay with me

    It’s a Stepwise process
    Next we discussed that any major exercise like this would require singular focus on what’s directly ahead of you . Which led to an even deeper question….What was Yankee Joe doing in 1990?? he was almost certainly watching MTV and memorizing Donnie walbergs moves to this classic…

    Step by step – new kids
    One rep at a time , one day at a time
    Step ups on “step”
    , incline mountain climbers on song

    So you are relying on your brothers , you know your “why “and you are taking it step by step but there’s still no Conquering the fear of what’s inside the walls without full trust in God

    Walls of Jericho Thang
    7 exercise
    7 Reps
    7 round
    Track mosey in between

    Depth charges
    Leg raises
    Hurpees
    Ranger merkins
    BBSU
    Carolina dry docks
    Box jumps

    We completed 4 rounds with some solid push.

    Mary to wrap up but wait

    I’ll pause here to note that 5 penalty burpees were given when the gaseous form of pure evil was expelled from the innards of Yankee Joe. YHC was downwind and had his mouth open and and the only way to cleanse one’s palate was 5 burps. Praying for your colon Jeaux.

    Count and name
    FNG naming. With some deliberation and quite a few verbal counter strikes we landed on “Baggins” . This man weathered the chatter, the walls of Jericho and stood strong in a hurricane of potential names. Well done. That quick wit will serve you well amongst these heathens.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out

    Grateful to lead and to continue this journey with y’all.

    SYITG
    PDOX

  • JERICHO – from Paradox

    8 pax on a crisp cool morning at the Stage. With a large group of our pax starting the Exodus 90 journey today YHC thought it pertinent to reinforce a few principles of “breaking down walls”. During a recent bedtime story session, my 2.0s selected the walls of Jericho story (Joshua 6) and in usual fashion the follow up questions had my brain in a pretzel. My son asked what if the soldiers didn’t want to walk around Jericho and they just ran home ? My daughter following with “were there pets in there? What about stuffed animals?”

    Like whoaaa, Did someone spike the Mac and cheese tonight? This led to a re-reading of the scripture, some deep northshore research to find an ole Grundy Q and 4 hours of calculating exactly what year Yankee Jeaux was born. Let’s dive in.

    Warmup
    Abbreviated Standard with a bumper mosey and …I mean Tana those cherry pickers are Something.

    A quick intro that one of the important steps of any rigorous spiritual exercise is relying on others. Recognition that others have strengths and some God given gifts …like sound volume and base. While others have clarity and portability. You know where I’m heading. YHC unveiled that this beatdown was brought to you by ….BAPS. Day by day we heal the scars of the great Bluetooth schism that ultimately took Ankers life. Gone but not forgotten.

    Anker Tribute
    At the start of our exodus journey you are asked to consider your “WHY ?”
    Well traditionally any deep philosophical question in our pax goes through Cardinal and Goose but today we settled for the next best thing ….the resident theologian Lil Jon asked us all “what will you turn down for”
    burpees on “turn down “
    SSH on rest
    **that Wiley old fox Enron smelled this one from a mile away , we’ll come back to strange smells later. Stay with me

    It’s a Stepwise process
    Next we discussed that any major exercise like this would require singular focus on what’s directly ahead of you . Which led to an even deeper question….What was Yankee Joe doing in 1990?? he was almost certainly watching MTV and memorizing Donnie walbergs moves to this classic…

    Step by step – new kids
    One rep at a time , one day at a time
    Step ups on “step”
    , incline mountain climbers on song

    So you are relying on your brothers , you know your “why “and you are taking it step by step but there’s still no Conquering the fear of what’s inside the walls without full trust in God

    Walls of Jericho Thang
    7 exercise
    7 Reps
    7 round
    Track mosey in between

    Depth charges
    Leg raises
    Hurpees
    Ranger merkins
    BBSU
    Carolina dry docks
    Box jumps

    We completed 4 rounds with some solid push.

    Mary to wrap up but wait

    I’ll pause here to note that 5 penalty burpees were given when the gaseous form of pure evil was expelled from the innards of Yankee Joe. YHC was downwind and had his mouth open and and the only way to cleanse one’s palate was 5 burps. Praying for your colon Jeaux.

    Count and name
    FNG naming. With some deliberation and quite a few verbal counter strikes we landed on “Baggins” . This man weathered the chatter, the walls of Jericho and stood strong in a hurricane of potential names. Well done. That quick wit will serve you well amongst these heathens.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out

    Grateful to lead and to continue this journey with y’all.

    SYITG
    PDOX

  • A Taste of Tuesday – from Enron

    The Stage was set with an unexpectedly larger amount of rain than forecasted coming down in the darkness, making it feel necessary to give the PAX that can’t make it to Tuesday’s beatdowns a little taste of what it’s like. Additionally, after missing this week Tuesday Tough beatdown, YHC was ready to step up the action for Thorsday. “Yankee Joe, stop trying to make Thorsday happen, it’s not going to happen”. Anticipation increased upon hearing the night prior that Cardinal would be making his triumphant return to action from injury. And after receiving medical clearance from Paradox’s wife, a new pair of Nike Pegasus’, and listening to him give a 10-minute speech on why we should all be in attendance for the beatdown today, along with some EHing on the Groupme, and side texts. Cardinal … fartsacked. Resulting in disappointment that resonated all the way to Chackbay. Thus, later nominating him for fartsack of the year at the inaugural Thibby awards. In other fartsack discussion, after YHC requested for Paradox to bring JBL, he was nowhere to be found. Resulting in a potential allegiance shift to another speaker along with some last-minute changes to today’s routine. Although it felt like we were missing quite a few familiar faces including the mentioned absences above, the beatdown began with 7 PAX.

    PAX: Goose, Superfun(d), Lil’ Cuz, Paradox, Piccadilly, Fence Post, and much later, Kilo

    Warmup: The usual minus a bumper mosey

    Thang 1:

    The Burpee Mile:

    1 mile run through rich man’s loop stopping every quarter mile. Each stop was the following:

    1) 20 burpees
    2) 15 burpees
    3) 10 burpees
    4) 5 burpees

    The burpee mile was tough enough to make YHC appreciate the rain that was coming down steadily at this point.

    Thang 2:

    DORA 1-2-3

    Partner up and grab 1 coupon per pair:

    100: Partner 1: Overhead presses
    Partner 2 : carioca to the sidewalk and back and flapjack with your partner taking over on the count to 100
    After the first set, Goose (aka the Paxville Grinch), was feeling so strong that he grunted and slammed the coupon to the ground shattering it to pieces, intimidating the remaining PAX before quickly carioca’ing into the dark and rain.
    Next, out of the dark rainy gloom from a vehicle never seen before by any of the PAX, and most likely repossessed from a previous job, Kilo arrived and jumped right into the work.

    200: Partner 1: Coupon Curls
    Partner 2: Nur to the sidewalk and back, flapjack until 200 is reached

    300: Partner 1: SSH
    Partner 2: 1st round – lunge walk down mosey back, round 2 bear crawl down mosey back, rinse and repeat

    Thang 3: This is where a great song was planned on being played but will have to be forced into another beatdown in the future due to the lack of a consistent audio source.

    Thinking quickly, the dice from YHC’s custom F3 Christmas present from his M were presented. Until time was called (about 8 minutes). The PAX alternated rolling the dice while Siri called out random numbers 1-30 for the amounts of the exercise printed on the dice.

    COT and Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thankful for all the guys that came out and toughed it out in the rain this morning.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • The Goose Who Stole Paxmas: An Arc of Redemption – from Yankee Joe

    To the Men of F3 Thibodaux,

    There are no words to accurately describe my level of gratitude for each of you. Whether we’ve been together for one beatdown or 50, you have taught me something, and each something has been invaluable. F3 has a term, “IM3,” which is a Man’s statement to the PAX that “I AM THIRD.” The idea of ‘living third’ means that as men, we deliberately place ourselves third behind God and our Community (including our families).

    I know I speak for all of us that NO man makes this commitment with more force and humility than our very own Goose. He is an example, always constant in the storm as well as the gloom, reminding us why we’re doing this. Reminding us about what really matters.

    I also know Goose would immediately say that ALL of us are worthy of the same praise. And I would agree. This is a very special group of men. You are Disciples of Christ, the spiritual leaders for your families. We often use the word, “humility” when describing our experiences together. There is a reason for this. We are, all of us, continually striving to “live third.”

    In a past life when I was coaching high school baseball, I used to say that the scoreboard was a result, not the goal. Back then, it sounded so wise. Heck, I wasn’t much older than the teenagers to whom I was speaking. However, I am amazed how those words ring so very true for me today. I often forget that I am in the best shape of my life. It may have started as the goal, but it has become a casual byproduct of being blessed (truly blessed) to stand next to Men of honor, Men of substance, Men of God, Men like you.

    Merry Christmas to each and each of you and your families.

    May God grant us the courage to always strive to be third.

    SYITG

    Yankee Joe

    ———————————————-

    Warm-up 6:30 – 6:35
    SSHs
    Abe Vigodas (slow windmills)
    Arm circles
    Squats
    Imperial Squat Walkers
    Self Love
    Mosey with coupons to monkey bars with coupons, then drop by slides

    Tribute to Anker 6:35 – 6:42
    0 – 1:00 ish – imperial walkers
    1:00 – 1:45 ish – imperial squat walker
    1:47 – 2:22 – SSH’s
    2:23 – 3:00 – burpees
    3:10 – 4:03 – elbow plank
    4:04 – 5:28 – Bobby Hurleys
    ———————————————–

    Thang 1: Grinch Training Camp 6:45 – 7:00
    (Narration #1)
    Lazy Dora Style at the Monkey Bars
    – P1 does Burp-ups x6
    – P2 LBCs
    – Flapjack
    – Two sets

    Mosey to hill

    Roof Crawling
    – P1 bear crawl to other side of hill; at bottom, 10 derkins; Crawl bear back over hill
    – P2 flutter kicks
    – Flapjack
    – Jungle gym to slides, pick up coupons, head to Paxville
    ————————————————

    Thang 2: The Looting of Paxville 7:00 – 7:15
    (Narration #2)

    House 1
    – 3 sets
    – P1 – WNW x10; P2 holds Al Gore’s
    – Travel – Bears and Blocks

    House 2
    – 3 sets
    – P1 Thrusters x 20; P2 6 inch holds
    – Travel – Murder bunnies

    House 3
    – 3 sets
    – P1 Manmakers x10; P2 Chilcutt Peter Parkers
    – Travel – Lunges (no coupons)
    ———————————————–

    Thang 3: To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana 7:15 – 7:20
    – P1 carries P2 piggie back (coupons stay by House 3)
    – Flapjack at cones; 4 segments, 2 each per Pax
    ————————————————

    Thang 4: Paxmas came anyway 7:20 – 7:25
    (Narration #3)
    – Sprint back to Paxville
    – Pax mosey to Flag and bring back to Paxville
    – Goose returns presents to the Pax

    COT; Cardinal prayed us out

    Coffeeteria (courtesy of Mrs. Yankee Joe)

    ———————————————–
    BEATDOWN SCRIPT

    Narration #1 How the Goose Stole Paxmas!

    Every Pax down in Paxville liked Christmas a lot
    But the Goose who lived just up the bayou, did not!

    The Goose hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
    Now, please don’t ask why. Only the Cardinal may know the reason.

    It could be because he hated the cold.
    It could be because, like his truck, he was too old.

    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    Was that his heart, like Paradox’s shorts, was two sizes too small.

    But, whatever the reason, his heart or his arthritis ,
    He stood there on Christmas Eve ISI-ing just to spite us.

    He stared down from the Stage with a sour, head tilting view
    At the warm lighted windows along the the Bayou.

    For he knew every Pax down in Paxville below
    Was busy posting obscure GIF’s, especially Yankee Joe.

    He thought of Paradox and his wife she’s a doctor by the way
    He himself claims to be one too, riiight…can crazy come out to play?

    He thought of the drugs Montana be slingin’
    And he shuddered at the cadence that he just ain’t bringin’.

    The Goose remembered the Goats and some random machine
    That dude showed up for a month, never again to be seen.

    Wet Tap was doing goblet squats, cuz that’s what real men did
    He never got the memo that the Jerfing had ended.

    He thought of Lil’ Cuz and that head beyond balding
    He then felt his own head fuzz and well…it was something.

    He considered the Brat and his brother, O’SHEM
    So close to yakking again and again.

    Superfun(d) working his crazy ass shifts;
    Fence Post nailing boards in a line and thinks it’s a gift.

    The Grinchy Goose said good riddance to ‘Ol Paradiddle;
    He’s a drummer, remember…F3 was fourth fiddle.

    He tolerated Kilo and his twelve different ve-HICLES
    He loathed Picadilly’s balls and their subsequent pickles.

    Enron, he mused, seemed to be cursed
    With his lack of rhythm and tendonitis he was constantly nursed.
    But those are just the reasons, second and first
    Ronnie also recruited Yankee Joe – aka EH Thibby Award for the worst.

    Speaking of Yankee and his posts we should block
    Forget the emotion, and just keep the headlock.

    —————————————————–

    Narration #2 The Looting of Paxville

    “And they’re hanging their stockings,” Goose snarled with a sneer.
    “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”

    Then he growled, with his Goose fingers nervously drumming,
    As he sat on the toilet nervously humming
    At 40, you’re gonna have problems with plumbing.
    Then he said, “I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!

    “For, tomorrow, I know that all the PAX men
    Will wake bright and early and rush to their den.

    “And then the GroupMe posts! Oh, the posts! posts! posts! posts!
    There’s one thing I hate! It’s all the posts, posts posts!

    “And they’ll mumble! And mumble! And they’ll chatter! Chatter! chatter!

    And the more the Goose thought of this Pax Christmas Chatter,
    The more the Goose thought,

    “Is it me or am I slowly getting fatter?”

    “Why for forty years I’ve put up with it now!
    I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?”

    Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
    The Goose got a wonderful, condescending, head tilting idea!

    “I know just what to do!” The Goose laughed with a frown.
    “I’ll destroy all their dreams with a TuesdayTuff beatdown.”

    “I’ll steal F3 Christmas, there’s no limit to how far I’ll stoop
    I’ll even find a way to tear down that ridiculous, disgraceful Whoop.”

    And he chuckled, and he honked,
    “What a great Goosey trick!
    With this TuesdayTuff Beatdown, I’ll look just like a prick!”
    —————————————————-

    Narration #3 To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana

    It was quarter of dawn. And the Pax still a-slumber,
    Hangovers en route from Enron and Wet Tap’s Jucifer tumbler.

    He took their presents, their headbands, and even their rucksacks,
    He scoffed at their cadence, lame excuses and fartsacks!

    Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Tana
    He ran like a wild man, he ran, ran, ranna
    On some kind of drugs fueled by AstraZeneca manna.

    “Pooh-pooh to the Pax!” he was goosily humming.
    “They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

    “They’re just waking up! I know just how they’ll show!
    They’ll lazily hit snooze one time, maye mo’
    And They’ll kick and they’ll yell from ceiling to flo’
    Then they’ll see there’s no Christmas, not even an AO.

    “That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “that I simply must hear!”
    He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

    And he did hear a sound rising over the swamp.
    It started out slow, then it started to stomp.

    But this sound wasn’t sad!
    Why, this sound sounded glad!

    What was this incredible sound, sounding deep from the gut,
    Well that’s Paradox’s favorite question, “Turn down for What?”

    Every Pax down in Paxville, the tall and the small,
    Was celebrating a Christmas beatdown – super tight shorts and all!

    He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
    Somehow or other, it came just the same!
    (2.0 ear muffs) After having nine kids, he has only himself to blame.

    And the Grinch, with his grinch feet paced to and fro,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

    It came without coupons! It came without rucksacks!
    It came without backblasts, without gloves, or World Cup facts!”

    He honked and honked till his honker was sore.
    Then the Goose thought of something he hadn’t before.

    Maybe F3 doesn’t come from just beatdowns or a good backblast word.
    Maybe F3, perhaps, means more, like striving to live third!

    And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
    That the Goose’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

    From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
    Teaching where we stand next to God and community
    Tho his comments on GroupMe are never OMG,
    his words for the Pax are always simply IM3.

    Merry Christmas!