F3 New Orleans

Tag: Paradiddle

  • Don’t Fear the Reaper – from Paradox

    YHC rolled in a touch early to the Peltch to lay out a few stations for our trick or treaters. Greeting Ronnie and Fresh Gi on the way I made a few cone deposits, worked up a lather and visited the haunted ghost toilet for an early backblast. Jeaux had been correct previously noting the eeriness of a densely fogged peltch morning and YHC planned to weave it into todays theme.

    On return Ronnie and Gi had been joined by a stout group of 12 more pax. It was another true gloom and YHC had trouble distinguishing everyone but found early inspiration in a returned Fire in the Hole and a sweaty HoneySuckle, already 7 miles deep on the day. (Campaign to rename him RunnySuckle?)

    Slowly noting my error in a late groupme invite to wear a costume YHC was ready to be “that guy”’when the Old Testament Tundra rolled in and out stepped Malachi Obadiah Dawson the IV , the great Shepard/Prophet/Early Church Father( his story is in one of those apocryphal books so don’t sweat it ).
    It was a clear sign the cardio strain was about to get biblical.
    Let’s get it !

    Duke! Get the candy corn
    It’s F3 Thib Halloween!

    Warmup
    SSH
    IW
    Frankensteins (shout out to America’s FrankenBeast )
    Bat Wings (10 AC, 10 CP, MNCs, Self Love )
    HIgh Knees, Butt Kicks

    Indian run to ThunderDome with last man dropping off for 3 Peter Parker Merkins as a shoutout to Gooses lifelong love of the spidey suit.
    Because if a full grown man can’t be spiderMan every year till he’s 99 then what are we even doing with all this freedom ?!

    We had a fine Indian run with some Halloween selected jamz leading us back to the Tdome for jurps and treats.

    As this backblast goes to print we are 28 days into what the critics are calling the greatest ISI of our age. Jurptober has had it all. Feats of strength, bonding, betrayal, ghost poops, Merkin miles, berkin miles (hushtones), ageless wonders, Google sheets meltdowns..all under the careful eye of the Architect. So it was difficult for YHC to refresh the jurpee but if there’s one thing that always moves the needle in F3 Thib it’s the feared emom timer…
    YHC dialed up 2 minutes with 3 kraken burpees as the kicker.
    All finished in fine form and Smooth beat the clock on round two of the Kraken by atleast 14 seconds.

    **Trick or Treat**
    Roll first dye – Take standard 15 reps (treat) OR add the trick and roll the second die with lower or higher. (Die have 5-10-15-20-25-30)
    We rolled every time we change locations or as a ten count.
    Along the way we did Burpees , BBSU, LBCs and Most Pax chose the conservative 15 rep approach. (Lame!)

    Mosey to the Chimney to start the Monster Mash

    The Main Thang was all about releasing dat Monster within.
    We trained in each of the 4 traditional Halloween monster disciplines. Listed below with their correlating groupme hype actors. Name image and likeness were taken from these men with no consent and they will have little help with litigation as my legal team is busy battling no less than 17 active Jurp citations this month.

    Da Monsters:

    I.) The Werewolf (Yankee Jeaux Jackson before turning full werewolf in the Thriller video)

    7 Werewolf’s (Carolina dry dock into upward dog yoga pose )
    Run to the chimney , Nur back
    1 BBSU
    Increase the BBS and decrease werewolves until complete.
    This had several pax booking early Monday chiropractic appointments for shoulder evals.

    2.) The Zombie
    Pax split into equal teams
    Hold plank in a line with enough room to frog hop in between. The last pax hop to the front and do 5 merkins. Repeat until your entire team crossed the cone. The return race would be a team arm linked lunge. Epic graveyard race and YHCs vision was too blurry to call it anything but a photo finish.

    Mosey to monkey bars

    3.) The Vampire (Count Goosula)
    Hanging in the Cave
    P1 hanging leg raises AMRAP
    P2 10 burpees
    2 rounds each to complete 40 burpees as a pair.

    4.) The Mummy (our Knights in shining Armor Ronnie and Tana)

    Pyramid Scheme of Burpees

    Bearcrawl to cones
    Increasing burpees , then crawl bear during descending burpees
    1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1

    YHC set the course up for some intended gang clashes and was not disappointed when I hit a smooth wrecking ball and was almost shanked by a an optometrist. Ya love to see the competition.

    Back to the flag for name off count off

    Jurpee numbers (adjust if you see fit)
    1 jurp
    67 burpees
    Merkins depending on graveyard race cycles
    50 BBSU

    Intentions
    Announcements:

    AB house party upcoming Nov 11

    Goose Leaving the Nest party on Nov 12
    (I’m still in denial, it’s just a prank…sigh)

    More deets on these in the GroupMe

    Ronnie Prayed us out

    Had a blast getting better and finding some monsters today men.
    Great work
    Enjoy a feast on your 2.0s candy
    It was well earned.

    Here’s a Dox of Chocolates:

    Ever found yourself curious as to what a psychedelic experience would feel like? No?…
    No one? Okay okay then, play it coy, your secrets safe with me *wink *wink
    Buttttt if you had, and didn’t want all the baggage, (health risk, weird shaman named Marley, unhealthy fear of leprechauns) then yesterday morning at Peltier park at approximately 6:39am you had a perfect opportunity. You could have sat right in the Thunderdome, on a bleacher, sober as a church mouse and witnessed quite a trip:

    A light fog sizzling off the hard pan spicy grass, backlit by a tremendous blazing full moon. A shadowy hearse standing ominously at center stage. Street light splotches of hazy orange along the pavement. Fluorescent greens and purples from a blow up haunted house add to the dizzying effect. And then you hear the growing foot falls of 11 men, 3 children and a well worn wagon. Led by a desert prophet they jog by single file maniacally tossing dice to and fro. Anchored by a ghostbuster, occasionally one loses all function, drops to the ground and pretends to be spiderMan. They continue in this manner until reaching a pre arranged destination surrounding the hearse. That’s when the shrooms really kick in. They start a synchronous series of exercises while the Blue Oyster Cult reminds them to not fear the reaper. Not satisfied with this they disappear into the gloom looking for more monsters to mash with.

    Ya know
    Maybe my 6th grade DARE teacher was right
    Maybe you can get high on life.

    I’ll need a few more beatdown to be sure…

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Country For Old Men – from Honeysuckle

    Jason Aldean was the flame. Boot Scootin Goosie was the fuse. It was only a matter of time until the country beatdown would occur. And friend-o, that day was today.
    On a dew-filled morning at the stage, fourteen men gathered eventually and the fun began.

    Warmarama
    20 Side straddle hops (YHC would have made it 40 if Tana had been there on time)
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward and back’ard
    No cherry pickers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    As all required Jurps no longer need to take place prior to doing anything else, yet realizing that leaving a full four Jurps for the PAX to have to do OYO after a beatdown is a little too much, we split the difference and did two Jurps as part of the beatdown. As to not waste time, the country music started with “I think I’ll just stay here and jurp” by Merle Haggard. Piccadilly jumped in after the first round started but so smoothly it was as though he just appeared out of thin air. Despite the excessively long instrumental outro, a second song was needed so that the second jurp could be completed by the PAX so that was [this is taking a very long] “Tulsa Time” by Don Williams.
    Then, a coupon mosey to get the hard stuff.

    The first thang
    The next part was a small homage to what played no small part in putting country music into pop culture (and eventually into a cult with popeye), which was the movie Urban Cowboy. (That movie also put mechanical bulls into every honky tonk bar.) Both songs are by Jerry Lee, with the first being “Cherokee Fiddle.” We did V-ups during the song, but during the chorus (“When he smelled the smoke and the cinders…”), we grabbed our own cinders and did manmakers.

    The second song was “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” YHC looked at points total per Jurptoberfest exercise and found the two exercises with the fewest points. These at that time were big boy situps and curls, so by doing these we would be looking for points in all the wrong places. So similar to the previous song, BBS’s during the song and curls during the chorus. Enron had been preparing for this moment his whole life and really shone during those curls. As did Cuz.

    YHC after the fact proposed the equivalent of a “standard deduction” for points earned during the first thang. This is because there were no sheets to write down the number of each exercise the PAX did, so many PAX did not really know how many points they earned. Inadvertently, in doing so, YHC perhaps initiated a bout of points inflation that a future hawkish Q will have to clean up. The overall jurptober impact remains to be seen. Analysts are saying that the biggest impact is likely to be in the manmaker category as they represent the largest number of points per exercise.

    The second thang
    The second thang was going to take longer and finish out the workout. The song “Redneck Girl” has always been a favorite, next to “Queen of my double wide trailer”. But in “Redneck Girl”, the Bellamy Brothers highlight all of the desirable qualities of these types of women. One of these is that a redneck girl has her name on the back of her belt. In honor of that line, we did a conveyor belt exercise.

    There were 5 stations where these five activities were done, with bear crawls in between.
    Station 1: V-ups (20)
    Station 2: Merkins (20)
    Station 3: Bonnie Blairs (20, I think we all know by now it’s 2:1)
    Station 4: Big Boy Situps (20)
    Station 5: Burpees (10)

    Four stations were populated with PAX leaving one open station for at least a little freedom of movement for one group. All PAX in a group were supposed to stay together and couldn’t go to the next station until the group at that station left. But I’m sure Yankee Joe could spend multiple lectures covering case studies highlighting what PAX are “supposed to do” versus what they actually do. And I just completed an internship.

    Now, if you liked the loitering and waiting in Saturday’s beatdown, you would LOVE the conveyor belt. There was ample opportunity to trash talk teams taking too long, and those opportunities were seized. However, the waiting was sort of a feature because otherwise there were no real breaks. Just like in a honky tonk bar, there were even PAX getting up on the tables doing their thing. In the end, everyone made it through two rounds, in most/all cases also finishing a third set of the exercise where the respective PAX began.

    During this time, we got to additionally hear “John Deere Green” by Joe Diffie, “Hard Workin’ Man” by Brooks and Dunn, and most of “L. A. Freeway” by Jerry Jeff Walker. The soundtrack was well received overall, though one PAX couldn’t take it and left. And I expect to continue to not hear country music during my next eye exam.

    We circled up, counted off, named off, did announcements, intentions, and Pope prayed us out. Dox pictured us out.

    After the coupon return and general cleanup, around 10 PAX stayed and finished up the Jurps. Gotta love and admire the dedication of this group. Smooth, showing next level determination and grit, grinded out his last Jurp with everyone just sort of standing around him and Goose holding the shovel.

    Much appreciation to the PAX for being hard workin’ men today and even feeling comfortable enough to share that they enjoy listening to country music only if chipmunks are singing it. It is great to celebrate the recent birthdays, and while some of these songs remind us that the world and our lives keep changing as we get older, many fundamental things don’t change, and for myself at least, F3 continues to provide a way to improve physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength to stay in the fight now and hopefully for many years to come.

  • Down With Disease – from Yankee Joe

    Prologue

    YHC arrived at the Peltch at 5:30 am on Saturday morning. We often say it was in “The Gloom,” but this morning took it to a new place. As he rolled out the tractor trailer truck tire onto the little league infield, he couldn’t help but notice how dark…and still it was. No sound of birds, no cars, no breeze in the pines. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all spooked out, but it was still a bit eerie.

    As he started hammering in the staked signs with various exercises, a heavy fog started to roll in. Not a light misting, but legit fog…and it was legit rolling, he looked around and realized that the signs I had just put in all looked like graveyard markers. Now, YHC isn’t one to get all skittish, but man it was getting weird.

    After one last trip to the awesome, cool, masculine minivan to get BAPS, YHC started walking back to the field. It was then that he looked up and through the haze, saw a hearse sitting in the thunder dome. How had he not noticed it before? Now YHC isn’t one to get all freaked out, but damn this was all starting to get…well…something.

    YHC shook it off and with 20 minutes left before the beatdown, decided to hit the men’s room. As YHC entered the bathroom to see about a fudge pop, the lights flickered. C’mon Yankee…stop being so dramatic. While sitting on the silver torpedo shell, and coming to the realization that this would be an underwhelming dumpelstiltskin, the lights turned off…completely. No sound of the door which had squealing hinges. The lights were off, YHC in the dark, quarter loaf barely pinched.

    And then, out of the darkness, as if radiating inward from the walls, the still air cold as ice, I heard the breathy, chilling voice…it said…“BEWAREEEEEEE….He’s a cheater…doing three merkins at the bottom of a buuuurpeeeeeee doesn’t count as a burpee aaaaand threeeeeee merkinssssss.”

    Now YHC isn’t one to hammer a prairie dog back in the hole, but at this, I screamed like a pickleballer and ran out into the darkness to find the PAX.

    —————————–
    YHC was both thrilled and concerned to see what would eventually make up 19 PAX at the Peltch. The beatdown had been designed for 8 to 10 PAX based on recent attendance rates. Considering all of the whining, wailing, and gnashing of teeth about doing hard things, YHC just assumed Houma-Thibodaux would be flush in dutch ovens that morning. YHC was wrong. Real wrong. 14 of 20 BYITG participants showed with the Hunt for Red Jurptober repping 100% attendance. However, I’m sure if you look back at the records for Arthur Anderson, those folks showed up to work on a regular basis too. Apparently, immorality requires solidarity.

    With six 2.0’s including a Honeysuckle duo – WELCOME Yelnats and Ewok, YHC started getting excited about how the chaos would play out over the next hour.

    —————————-

    Warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills 15 ct
    Arm circles forward 15 ct
    Arm circles backward 15 ct
    Cherry pickers 15 ct
    Self love
    High knees 15 ct
    Willy Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    The men headed to the first field by the Apparatus to knock out the three required Jurps. The crowd was so big that the grumbling sounded like if you packed 50 constipated walruses in a locker room shower playing Adele in the background. But we got through it. During the jump squat portion, I saw some very interesting form emerge. Also during that time, it came to light that Tana had betrayed YHC to Paradox during an ongoing investigation. Did you ever see What Lies Beneath? Well, it has nothing to do with this scenario.

    We moseyed over to the baseball field and for the remaining 30 minutes, jumped into the fray.

    ——————————
    The Setup

    *Field set up with six stations around center point.
    *Two stations set 15 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 20 yards from center.
    *Two stations set 30 yards from center.
    *Each station represents a different BYITG exercise.

    All PAX start in center, do 5 burpees then tire flip (tractor trailer size) or zombie crawl to 15 yard station, 5 burpees then bear crawl to 20 yard station, or 5 burpees and bear crawl to 30 yard station. For any station, do 20 reps of exercise associated with that station. Run back, do 5 burpees, then head to the next station of your choice. AMRAP until time.

    Rules:
    1) there cannot be more than TWO Pax at any given station at one time. If there are already two pax at your desired station after you finish your 5 burpees, you MUST immediately choose another station and bear crawl to it. NO loitering.

    2) You cannot do the same station twice in a row unless you are forced to go there for lack of options…see Rule 1.

    Stations (20 reps each):
    BBS (12 yards)
    V-up (12 yds)
    Merkins (20 yards)
    Bonnie’s (20 yds)
    Coupon curls (30 yds)
    Man makers (30 yds)
    —————————————
    Strategy (if you can call it that):

    The 12-yard stations were tempting because you could get to them quickly, knock out the relatively quick rep exercise and get back. That said, the tire flip or zombie crawl transport was hard and time consuming. The 20 yard stations were the money makers. Merkins, each worth a point, were quick reps and not excruciatingly far for a bear crawl. Bonnie’s on the other hand were far more time consuming IF you had good form. At 30 yards, the coupon curl was a trap. First, a 30 yard bear crawl straight up sucks, but to reward yourself with half-point curls for a station total of 10 points didn’t justify the time. The biggest ROI was from the man maker station at three points per rep.

    It was here that Montana outdid himself. WIth three men at the man maker station, Tana should have chosen another station. He didn’t, he began lunge walking slowly toward the man maker station with YHC loudly chastising him to turn around. Instead, he lunge walked all the way to the man-makers then headed to the coupon curl station and proceeded to do…MAN MAKERS. By this time, YHC was losing his mind. Like Bob Knight, YHC tossed his man making coupon, yelling in a high pitched voice that Tana wasn’t playing fair and calling him a doo doo head.

    COT and Goose prayed us out. We welcomed Yelnats and Ewok. The PAX got a real treat in seeing Dumbledore and family walk up. He got damn near a standing ovation. It was cool. Dumbledore, you are missed.

    All in all, the PAX earned a total of 10,000+ points. It was a wonky set up, but due to being in close proximity, the chatter was epic. I had a lot of fun. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

    BYITG,

    Yankee Jerk

    And…stay from that Peltch bathroom. Here, there be monsters.

  • Prost! An Oktoberfest Origin Story – from Yankee Joe

    The year is 1976. A piercing cry breaks through the pre-dawn gloom of the small hamlet in West Germany.

    “Nein, Frau Best, it’s ok… he’s supposed to look like that…”

    After several hours of counseling and education that you cannot “trade in” a baby, the young mother finally concedes. She brings the youngling home, hoping to place him in a side show or perhaps a “world’s hairiest baby” contest.

    A few months pass, and (as per German tradition) the infant is abandoned in the Black Forest with only a six-pack of Bitburger Pils.
    The memories of that youngling’s first year of life in that forest, memories only of beer, bears, and pain, fueled this morning’s beatdown. . .

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Toy soldiers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Butt kicks
    High knees
    Self love

    Mosey to the truck to pick up “Brew-pons”.

    Thang 1:
    German Volumetric Training (or YHC’s bastardization if it)
    10 exercises, 10 reps each. All Merkins, all the time
    In some particular order:
    Fingertip Merkins
    Diamond Merkins
    Crucible Merkins
    Sphinx Merkins (2=1)
    Man maker Merkins (2=1)
    Knurkins
    Creature Merkins (2=1)
    Superman Merkins
    Derkins
    Merkins

    (Aside: a German Merkin is a Gherkin, which is a small pickle. Nobody wants that.)

    Goose absolutely killed this, figuring out where the Merkin stations were as well as physically destroying the reps.
    YHC forgot where station 2 was, and self penalized himself with an extra set of Diamond merkins.
    And there was much grunting.

    Thang 1.5:
    Bear Crawl to Berlin. And back.
    Smooth Operator displayed superhuman ability here. Defying physics, he somehow bear-crawled downhill while on level ground.

    Thang 2:
    Make it Stop: Oktoberfest

    We began with WWIII sit-ups while German-language or German-centric songs play. Anyone who can identify the song, Artist, album, or year released, gets to change the exercise.
    Goose showed unprecedented music prowess by nailing both “Major Tom” and “Rock Me Amadeus” correctly (in spite of YHC erroneously thinking it was simply called “Amadeus”).
    Honeysuckle, the usual ringer for music knowledge, displayed his patriotism here by refusing to identity any of die Musik.
    Also, apparently every popular German language song was released in 1983. And who knew Lou Bega was from Munich?

    (Paradiddle’s contribution during this phase of the beatdown, while significant, consisted solely of gas and giggles.)

    Final Thang: Stein hold

    Brewpons are held out at chest level, Bruce Lee-style, emulating the traditional Oktoberfest Steinholding competition.
    ‘Lil Cuz won, reinforcing his steadfast love for his brewpon.

    GG to Paradiddle for reasons obvious to all.

    Brewpons to go.

    Cardinal prayed us out.

    Epilogue:

    The youngling, nourished on hops and barley, and fortified by merkins, emerges from the depths of the forest.
    Bear-crawling a few meters further, it rises up on its now-ample haunches, howling, “Ich bin Deuchlands Besten!”

  • Hangin Tough by Honeysuckle – from Yankee Joe

    A smooth operator once told YHC that your VQ is no big deal – just get it done. YHC thinks this would be true, any year other than 2023 and any F3 other than Thibodaux. We so often get to hear Yankee Kiper, Jr wax poetic about the draft class. And the VQs from that class have the bar set pretty high. So after one false start a few weeks ago, it was finally time to get it done.

    Paradiddle arrived very early, and Enron wasn’t far behind. So we got in at least one Jurpee prior to anything happening. Diddle probably got several in as he Jurped right into Warmarama.

    Warmarama: side straddle hops, imperial walkers, toy soldiers, arm circles one direction then the other direction, cherry pickers, self love, willie mays hayes, maybe not in that order. Or maybe in that order.

    Pre-Thang

    1 Jurpee OYO. This was to provide the PAX a parting gift in case the VQ bombed.

    A little background on one thang of the first thang

    Enron’s Outlive-inspired Q continues to inspire, so ever since YHC had to type in YHC’s name into the spreadsheet for the VQ rather than use a dropdown box, the one seed around which the workout would be built was: grip. Backing up a little, YHC has been so focused on running that the numerous other aspects of fitness were not being maintained. That is where F3 found YHC, and while YHC is unable to complete a warmarama alone due to boredom, when it is done with the group, YHC finds it enjoyable. Now the focus is shifting to “training for life” -the things we need to be able to do to enjoy life, hopefully for a long time. While running helps with Zone 2 and V02 max, we also need functional strength, of which grip is one main component. Opening jars, grabbing onto something to avoid a fall, etc. One way to help with grip, among other things, is by simply hanging from a bar.

    So once “Hang Tough” became the core, it was like watching a slow moving train wreck as the overall theme fell into place. It was unfortunately inevitable what this VQ would become.

    First thang

    That overall theme was Boy Bands. From the 80’s, 90’s, and Today. The first thang would be done in pairs and have multiple stations, with a rotation every minute. Today, the EMOM also stood for Every Menudo on the Menudo. PAX would go around the circuit in One Direction and stay in Sync with their partner. While the temperature was not 98 Degrees anymore, it was still warm enough outside so that we’d all get a good sweat in.

    Stations:
    –Side shuffle the length of the pickleball court fence, Bobby Hurley when you change direction
    –Bonnie Blairs
    –Merkins on the block – Really a decline merkin (Derkin) with feet on the playground border (maybe 1 ft elevation). Not sure if anyone had new Keds today but that would have been cool.
    –Apollo Onos
    –Hang Tough – Hang for the minute on the monkey bars
    –Moroccan Nightclubs

    There was probably a general expectation that today would have lots of running, but YHC instead wanted to encourage endurance for these exercises. Hang Tough certainly required mental and physical endurance (and in today’s case aural endurance, especially for those whose ears were still in their Musical Youth). But as each exercise was for a time duration rather than a rep count, YHC wanted the PAX to find a pace for all exercises, the Bonnie Blairs and Merkins in particular, so that they could be done for the entire minute.

    While boy band music played, the EMOM transitions were marked by the current song pausing and the appearance of NKOTB singing “Step By Step, Oooooh Baby”. While this was heard way too many times this morning, I like to think it had a positive connotation in that it meant the current minute was over. YMMV. But between the exercises and the music, these were likely the longest minutes of the PAXs’ collective lives.

    Songs: Hangin Tough (New Kids on the Block), Larger than Life (Backstreet Boys), Bye Bye Bye (*NSYNC), Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche) (98 degrees), Boy With Luv (BTS). If anyone needs me to sign something to get your Spanish CEUs for the 98 degrees song, just let me know. I’m not certified to give out Korean CEUs yet.

    The PAX, through much physical, mental, and lyrical anguish, completed all 18 minutes of the EMOM, which meant three visits to every station. Goose brought the fire. Pope brought the desire. Valve brought the belief. Hypotenuse said it was nothing. AB didn’t have heartache. Enron said it wasn’t a mistake. Dilly never made me tell him why. And Diddle wanted it that way.

    And they still wanted more.

    So we moved to the running part, which was simply 1.5 laps around the Civic Center. I was All for One, but since we were at the playground there was no way getting around getting the extra half in. YHC still has some kinks to work out with the speaker+phone combo, as the EMOM music started up a couple times during the run giving the PAX PTSD. Also during the run, Diddle wowed the crowd by removing the Animal to reveal the GiGi. Now that is some stage presence and YHC knows a solo career is coming which will ultimately break up the band, until the reunion tour 20 years later.

    Now, back at the Lion, at the Boyz 2 Men station. YHC noted that Boy Bands have made and continue to make many contributions to the world. One of the major contributions is their step by step instructions to achieve a goal. So, we were going to write a boy band song in the remaining few minutes.

    The first question is, how do you turn Boyz to Men? Manmakers, of course. YHC produced two coupons out of the gloom. Going back to our five “pairs” from earlier, one pair at a time does 8 manmakers while the rest of the PAX does some exercise. After the pair doing manmakers finishes, they call the next pair up and then name the next exercise for the PAX as our next step.

    The way it started was: YHC called pair 1 up for manmakers, and announced Step 1 was flutter kicks for everyone else. In the end, the steps were:

    Step 1: Flutter Kicks
    Step 2: V ups
    Step 3: Freddy Mercurys
    Step 4: LBCs
    Step 5: Dying Cockroach
    Step 6: Recover. And that’s the way you do it!

    Animal went to Hypotenuse, due to his consistent posting and hard work. And given two perpendicular lines, he can make it right, and that makes him larger than life.

    Gigi went to America’s Best for having the right stuff when it comes to memes in the group chat.

    Much appreciation for the VQ support today, fellas!!

    SYITG
    Honeysuckle

  • Age Isn’t Just A Number (In F3, It’s Just The Next Thang) – from Yankee Joe

    Twelve phenomenal men posted this morning at The Lion’s Den. The word “phenomenal” is being used here for its literal meaning. Twelve men, voluntarily, in the face of poorly designed insanity, threw themselve into an experience that promised to leave them frustrated, breathless, nauseated, and perhaps needing a clean pair of draws’. With ages spanning from 15 (hate, hate) to 47 (respect), these beasts choose to do this four times per week. Wouldn’t you describe the scene as a phenomenon?

    YHC turned 45 the day before. St. Vincent, pray for us. Less about commemorating the occasion (YHC doesn’t actually care…he’s forgotten his own birthday not once, but multiple times ), this morning’s beatdown was more a result of YHC’s creative beatdown juices being dried up. 45 seemed like a solid number to manufacture some good ‘ol fashion stupidity in Hurtsville, USA. Of course, since we all know 42 is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything, it was tempting to hitchhike my way through the Exicon. However, that would have required some effort.

    So, twelve men showed up to The Den. Well, eleven at first. Diddle, living out his own self-fulfilling prophecy, rolled in a minute late as he predicted. As alluded to above, today’s version of the beatdown was not particularly well designed. It’s got potential, and maybe one day can serve as a one-off F3 Thibodaux IPC. 45 exercises over a 35-minute period is crazy enough. Including Man Makers and Redrum Bunnies in the mix made it nearly impossible. No problem…impossible is a concept that only misguided pickleballers have to grapple with.

    The format was made up of nine rounds, five exercises per each round, and 25 reps per exercise where applicable. In all, if one were to complete the circuit, he would pull off 800 total reps, 180 yards (45-yd increments) of MOT work (i.e. murder bunnies, bear crawl, etc.), and nine 90-yard sprints (.45 mile). Beatdown instructions were printed out for each man, complete with sheet protectors. How can anyone not be hot for teacher?The breakdown is included at the end of the blast.

    As we started, YHC forgot to mention the rep count, along with a few other details. However, that ‘phenomenon’ kicked into gear, and the men…well…just started doing the stuff. Even in the Gloom, YHC could see Popeye’s eyes narrow and his brows furrow. He seemed driven by an inhuman stamina and perseverance that can only be achieved by UT football fans post Vince Young…circa 2005…yikes! Of course, it’s not crazy to think the drought could end this year.

    All the men lined up across The Den sidewalk. Honeysuckle, continues to confound others with his unfazed, calmly content face prior to a beatdown. It’s like he’s thinking… “awww…this is a nice little workout.” When you’ve run 50+ miles in a day, I suppose these get togethers do look quaint. YHC was also grateful to be next to America’s Best, who in turn, had to explain that a ‘no-cheat merkin included shoulder taps AND a hand release. This made the shoulder tap merkins in the subsequent round take on a whole new level of suck. For YHC, this may have been the beginning of the end. YHC’s shoulders were toast after Round 3, never to recover.

    At the start of the beatdown, someone yelled, “Where’s the music?” YHC didn’t have a better answer than, “I want you to be alone in your suffering.” First of all, who says something like that? Second, why the hell didn’t I set up music? Regardless, Smooth Operator responded with his famous, “Okayyy,” which by now has become about the most positive and authentic endorsement a Q can hope for. Wet Tap, as expected was drooling on the beatdown instructions thinking about all of the coupon work. That’s why sheet protectors were used, by the way.

    As the shenanigans began, Goose, Enron, and Diddle were off to the races. Diddle was unfairly propelled by his apparent IBS, but stayed consistent throughout. As Goose started to edge ahead of the rest of us, YHC realized Pope was edging ahead and STAYING ahead of his Goosely father. I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure Pope, at 15 years of age, was throwing up thrusters and man makers with an official, grown man cindy. Can you imagine a Pope with 30 years of F3 under his belt? Drago won’t be worthy of holding his jockstrap (Do people wear jockstraps any more?).

    Later on, Enron audibly exclaimed, “Noooooooo” during Round 4 upon realizing the 19th exercise (yes, the 19th) was a 25-count of Thrusters. Since YHC has quite literally never heard Enron complain, I knew significant design flaws were present. Safety Valve, demonstrating his new found love for pain, reminded me of a guy named Paradox. Never say die. No gaps. Hypotenuse, by now, appears to have accepted the insanity of this cul…I mean free men’s workout club. I’m predicting a VQ by late October.

    In the end, YHC barely made it into Round 6, though if you consider quality of form, he never made it out of Round 2. Most of the PAX reached Round 5 or beyond. Pope and Goose both made it to Stagger Merkins in Round 7. It was hotly contested, who ultimately won between father and son, but the rest of the PAX knows the truth: Drago’s menu had just been expanded to include Charbroiled Goose.

    COT and Pope prayed us out. We continue lifting prayers up to Smooth and his family as well as chapter of life transitions.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ——————————————–

    Why The Phenomenon Matters

    As a kid, I thought my Dad was invincible. A mult-tour combat veteran, he was trim and seemed to have superhuman strength. The fact that he smoked three packs of Marlboro Reds per day only seemed to make him more of a specimen. When I was 12 years old, in an attempt to be more involved, he got certified as a baseball umpire and soccer referee. For the latter, it required getting into some form of shape. I remember how hard it was for him just to run up and down the sideline during a game. He did it nevertheless and got into pretty decent shape. After that soccer season, he promptly retired from his refereeing days, never to approach any form of exercise again. The thing is, all the Dads in the neighborhood were like that. Most smoked and NONE of them “worked out” outside of a random jog occasionally.

    I remember clearly thinking that “once you got to be a Dad, being in shape was off the table.” That year, my dad was 42.
    ———————————————-

    During my late twenties, I used to jog and lift weights quasi regularly…just enough to maintain some respectable level of athleticism. Then I watched 300 and P90X started trending. I ran alone, lifted alone, and P90Xed alone. Like most of the bros in my circle, I’d get into working out hard core for six months, get into awesome shape, then hardcore fall off the wagon.

    I remember clearly thinking I’ve got a few more years of this and then I’ll be too old to be in really good shape. I was 28.
    ———————————————

    In 2019, I moved our family from New Orleans to Thibodaux. I weighed 230 lbs. I hadn’t seriously worked out in years. I set resolutions almost every first of the month. Each New Year’s Day, I was like, “This is the year.” When the pandemic hit, we bought a Peloton. I rode the pedals off that shiz for a year. I lost 25 lbs. When we evacuated for Ida, I missed a day, then missed a week, then a month, then almost two years. I weighed 230 lbs once again.

    I remember clearly thinking, I’ve finally reached that place where my Dad was. This is it. I was 42.
    ——————————————-

    In March of 2022, a dude named Micah reached out. Texted something like, “Hey Man. Heard you might be interested in F3. We meet this Saturday at 6:30 at Peltier Park. Would love to have you.” I knew he was a financial advisor. He was probably one of those guys who thinks he’s “the smartest guy in the room” and wants to live in Houston. I showed up anyway. I’ve lost 30 lbs. I’m, quite literally, in the best shape of my life…physically, mentally, and spiritually.

    When he’s 12 years old, my son is going to remember clearly thinking “once you get to be a Dad, you get to be Superman.” That year, I’ll be 52.

  • Better together – from Safety Valve

    Today was the day. IPC week 3 on a Saturday morning at the Peltch. On paper it seemed a daunting task. But that’s just life isn’t it. Sometimes it’s sweet and a breeze. Sometimes it’s tougher than we think we can deal with and overwhelming. Looking back on challenging times in my own life, in the heat of the moment, it seemed as if YHC would never make it through. Now in retrospect, YHC made it through those tough times because of the people that surrounded me. The same can be said about week 3 IPC.

    After a short mosey to the tennis court at the Peltch, and some mild confusion for Diddle, we began.

    Warmaramma
    Side straddle hops
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    High knees
    Butt kicks
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers

    The Thang

    Round 1
    10 merkins
    15 thrusters
    20 merkins
    25 thrusters
    30 merkins

    400 meter run

    Round 2
    10 thrusters
    15 v ups
    20 thrusters
    25 v ups
    30 thrusters

    400 meter run

    Round 3
    10 v ups
    15 jungle bois
    20 v ups
    25 jungle bois
    30 v ups

    400 meter run

    Round 4
    10 jungle bois
    15 blockees
    20 jungle bois
    25 blockees
    30 jungle bois

    400 meter run

    Round 5
    10 blockees
    15 Merkins
    20 blockees
    25 merkins
    30 blockees

    400 meter run

    When time was called at the usual 7:30, three of the pax finished in the 45 minute window. Big shout out to Diddle, pope and goose. The rest of the pax were struggling somewhere in round 5, inevitably working through the never ending blockees. YHC felt like anything beyond round 3 would be impressive. This group blew it out of the water. Yankee Jeaux kept us on pace and every time we saw him hold back that vomit, it was more motivation to keep going.

    At the end of it all, Cardinal showed up in the most glorious way… with coffee and donuts. Even with a thumb out of commission, he couldn’t resist the F3 fellowship. He seemed very upset about missing out on the 100 reps of thrusters. So blessed to have a post IPC hang out and refreshment time.

    We circled up, offered prayers to those in need, Cardinal prayed us out and we dug into the donuts and coffee.

    Back to the tough times in life YHC eluded to earlier… Before starting on this F3 journey merely 50 days ago, YHC would have never thought of doing 100 merkins. That would have seemed ridiculous, let alone 100 thrusters with a cinder block. Now it seems nothing but normal for a Saturday morning. I owe this change and higher mental strength to the F3 Thibodaux PAX. When these workouts seem unfathomable, we look to the guy to the left and right that are going through the same pain. It’s the only motivation that’s needed. So, when life gets tough and seems impossible, surround yourselves with good people. Look to your right and left, they will get you through whatever hell is happening. Tough times will never last and life will be sweet again.

  • The BDE Mile: Fruit of the Sea – from Yankee Joe

    Saturday, September 16th, 2023 marked the third week of IPC – The BDE Mile.

    Today, for no particular reason, we decided to go for a little run.

    So, after warmarama, we ran to the end of The Peltch, and when we got there, we thought maybe we’d run to the gate of the EDW football field.

    And when we got there, we thought maybe we’d just run around the track.

    Now, thinking since we’d run this far, we would add in five BDE burpees after each lap. And since we’d done that, maybe we’d just run another lap. And since we’d done this already, we thought, “Why not add in five BDE Merkins?”

    Now, looking at the routine we’d created, maybe we would just repeat that routine for 45 minutes…nonstop.

    And that’s what we did. We ran clear around the track for 45 minutes, alternating between BDE burpees and BDE merkins.

    No particular reason. We just kept on going.

    We ran clear around the track. And when we got there, we figured since we’d gone this far, we might as well turn the corner and just keep on going.

    And when we finished another lap and completed our BDE exercise, we figured since we’d gone this far, we might as well just keep right on going.

    When we got tired, YHC complained…a lot.

    When we got slow, we were lapped by Paradiddle, Goose, Pope, and Enron. Several times.

    When we started crumbling, Popeye found four extra running gears, smiling the whole way.

    When we needed a boost, Jack B Nimble offered high fives and Tractor danced us into Elysium.

    When we needed to know how much time was left, Duke asked on our behalf.

    When we were struggling to put one foot in front of the other, Safety Valve talked us through the pain with his calming, cool side of the pillow, voice.

    When we got into our own heads, Lil’ Cuz recounted scenes from Malcolm in the Middle.

    When he had to drop a deuce, Smooth…you know…dropped one.

    We just felt like runnin’.

    For some reason, what we were doing seemed to make sense to us.

    Papa Goose always said, “Put your ass behind you before you can move on.” And I think that’s what our running was all about.

    We had run for forty-five minutes and zero seconds.

    Then we said, “We’re pretty tired. We think we’ll go home now.”

    And just like that, our runnin’ days was over…well until Honeysuckle’s VQ.

    COT and Lil’ Cuz in The Middle prayed us out.

    Gentlemen, today was a whole different brand of suck. It never gets old how when this group gathers together, we achieve something that would be dang near impossible on our own. I can’t count how many times I wanted to quit this morning in a fit of childish tantrums. In those stupid moments, Smooth Operator would, with ear to ear smirk, tell you to stop making excuses. Then he would gleefully point out that wearing his Hawaiian shorts was perfect since he was living the dream in paradise every day. The ROI on this free men’s workout is off the charts.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ————————————
    IPC Week #3 – The BDE Mile

    Format
    – 45min AMRAP
    – 400-meter track with 100-meter increments clearly visible

    The Thang
    – The workout begins when the timer starts
    – 400-meter lap
    – 5 BDE burpees
    – 400-meter lap
    – 5 BDE merkins (AKA – hand-release prisoner merkins)
    Hand release merkin to Peter Parker to the right elbow to hand release merkin to Peter Parker to the left elbow to hand release merkin

    Repeat until time is called.

    Scoring
    – Total number of meters rounded down to the closest 100 when time is called
    – For example, if time is called and you are between 880 and 890 meters, your score is 800 meters

    Top Scores:

    – Paradiddle – 17 laps (6,800 meters)
    – Goose and Pope – 16 laps (6,400 meters)
    – Enron – 15 laps (6,000 meters)

  • “Okay” – from Goose

    YHC had already hinted to the PAX that there might be some running today, but they showed up anyway. It clearly goes to show that these fellas value the brotherhood and the shared experience of pain more than they want to avoid the grind. It was great to see a packed parking lot when we pulled up!
    After a much needed warmup that was quieter than normal without Poox, YHC intro’d the BDE Burpee mile, a solid prep for Saturday. Most had not yet watched the pre-blast video, so the burpee combined with a Goosie was a bit jarring. Smooth’s consistent “Okay” was joined by a few other “Yeah, alright”s. The plan was to run the mile loop stopping at every quarter for three BDE Burpees. (What does BDE stand for? Suburban dictionary says: “Busy Day Everyday” with a coffee cup emoji. Not sure how that applies here.) At every stop, the PAX would wait for the six by doing core exercises until they arrived: 1st was flutter kicks, 2nd was LBC’s, 3rd was Freddy’s, and 4th was Big Boys. Impressively, there wasn’t much waiting, even though one or two of the guys had been out for a while, and though BDE burpees are complicated, they got done smoothly enough.
    Paradiddle and Tana busted it for the last quarter mile, but YHC hung back a little with Enron–the Q knew what was to come. And, what was to come after the last set of BDE Burpees was another BDE mile, this time with merkins. And, again, we got a solid “Okay” from Smooth and similar responses from the rest. YHC knew that many of these dudes were more gassed than they wanted to be and were just grateful that the running was over, but there was no grunts of exasperation or moans of self-pity to be heard. And, though it took a few more flutters and Freddys for Seal Team 6 to pull into each stop, it was clear that they and the rest of this crew were here for it this morning, come what may. Even Dumbledore, who quietly sprained his ankle at the start of the second mile, stayed back and did BDE merkins until we returned instead of just rolling out like many others might.
    The 3 BDE Merkins (merkin + Peter-Parker leg left + merkin + Peter Parke leg right + merkin = 1) at each stop had the pecs a little warm, but not burnt, so with the last 7 minutes, burn them we did.
    The song was “Running on Empty” by Jackson Brown (Honeysuckle = consistency), and we were in plank formation (or something like that) for the duration with merkins for every “running”. The concrete was well moistened by the end, and YHC asked if anyone could guess how long the song was. Enron quickly shouted “4:47!” The song was 4:50 long. Did he time it on his watch? No, that would be ridiculous and pointless. So, YHC can only conclude that he has assistants at home with computers and headsets listening to the mics he’s got planted around the AO and ready to research any question that might be offered by a Q and whisper an answer into his earpiece (along with funny name suggestions for FNG’s). French Horn and Honeysuckle clearly use the same method during trivia beatdowns. Cardinal is looking into it.
    The two minutes remaining were filled with Crunchy Frogs and Wife Pleasers. COT, hype for Honeysuckle’s VQ Thursday, prayer intentions, and Popeye prayed us out. Proud to be a part of this crew.
    SYITG,
    Goose
    P.S. It was only after YHC got home that I remembered that BDE merkins are all Hand-release. Oh, well. We’ll just have to wait till Saturday to get shredded again.

  • Curling/special teams beatdown – from Smooth Operator

    Cardinal
    Goose
    Pope
    Dilly
    Tana
    Diddle
    Smooth Operator

    Last night seeing all the anti commits had me a little nervous about turnout. The fact that they were coupled with all the where were you stories for 9/11 where really cool and shows the diversity and different life experiences of this wonderful group. F3 is as much a support group and writing club as much as it is a fitness group and I am very happy to be a part of it.

    YHC was showed up to the Stage at 0455 after working a night shift. I was not expecting much of a turn out but knew I could count on Goose and Pope to show up to put in some work. Goose and Pope showed up around 0510 along with Cardinal and Tana. Dilly and Diddle showed up right before and during Warmarama. YHC was thrilled to see 7 PAX members ready to partake in some group suffering.

    Struggle bus for warmarama
    Due to sleep shortage, YHC struggled with cadence and a couple times just forgot I was supposed to be counting. Goose tried to help but to no avail. But I guess it’s the effort that counts.

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial walkers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mountain climbers
    Coupon curb mosey

    Today we will be doing a little shared suffering to honor the 2996 lives lost on September 11 2001. Just to help y’all feel young I was in the 3rd grade and had no idea what was going on. Today for our 10 counts you will be asked your where were you short story for 9/11.

    Thang 1
    Using a basketball we will throw or roll the ball down the street and we will be downing it similar to a punt coverage team in football or the wonderful winter Olympic sport of curling. If the ball goes off the concrete and into the grass we will be doing 10 burpees. Our mode of transport will be sprinting. Whenever we recover the ball we will be doing 5 Chuck Norris merkins. We will be going to the rich man loop dead end. This went surprisingly good. We managed to make it to the dead end only doing burpees once or twice. We probably did 40 to 50 Chuck Norris merkins.

    Thang 2
    We did a round of 7’s
    gossees on one side and American hammers 2 is 1 on the other and bear crawls were mode of transport. This one worked well and we got through it pretty easily. After Pope gave us a riveting story on how he was never thought of yet for 9/11.

    Back to Thang 1 with a twist

    Basketball game with grass penalty of 10 WW2 merkins, mode of transport is karaoke switching after every downing. 5 Bobby Hurley were the recovery exercise. We did this to the dead end near 3/4 mile mark on rich man loop. We went ahead and did one or two sets of world war sit ups due to a couple unforgiving curves in the road.The question was brought up which sit ups were we supposed to do. YHC honestly forgot there was a difference and was not overly concerned which exercise was performed.

    Thang 3
    Once we made it to the dead end we went ahead and set up to do some concrete crack suicides with a merkin performed each time you hit your starting point. The PAX ended up making it to the stop sign and probably did 10 sprints. After Goose gave us his story on where he was on 9/11. He was at LSU and watched the first tower fall realizing he had just watched thousands of people die. Went to class and got a text saying the second tower fell.

    Back to thang 1
    We played basketball game with American hammers 2 is 1 10 count as grass penalty. We sprinted as mode of transport. Recovery exercises was 5 Apollo unos. End point was supposed to be coupon curb dead end but due to 0600 approaching quickly we headed to the flag.

    Thang 4
    After we got back to the flag at 0555, YHC and Diddle set up the burrito and sent us out with Alan Jackson’s Where we’re you when the world stopped turning. The Pax would be changing levels on Al gore from low middle to high squat position. We would be changing levels on the breaks in the lyrics. This was tough and it carried us into 0600.

    Announcement revealed Goose has tomorrows Q. Honeysuckle VQ will be Thursday at the lions den. Saturday will be IPC. If you have been away for a while and still read back blast, this is as good a week as any to get back in the mix.

    Intentions were for all the babies and mommas in our community and Tana prayed us out.

    Thanks to all who came out and made this beatdown memorable.
    SYITG Smooth Operator