F3 New Orleans

Tag: Paradiddle

  • 80 Miles to Sante Fe – from Paradox

    What comes to mind when you think of the absolute cutting edge of human performance? Ultra marathons, Saturdiddles, special ops training, Cardinal crab walking … I’m talking the outer limits of human capabilities here. Well men I have a new challenging feat of strength to add to this pantheon of greatness. A rigorous 5 day crucible that tests the mind, body, spirit, and even Rouses endless supply of 100% juice capri suns.

    Some only live through it to tell the tale…
    That’s how I found myself shoulder to shoulder with Econoline this week at 8:15am on a casual Tuesday in the Chackbay Catholic center, awaiting our first rotation of children.
    There we stood at the game station like 2 young hobbits awaiting 10,000 orcs at Helms deep. (Jk jk your children are all angels )
    It was about to begin…
    The great battle of our time..
    Being group leaders at…
    VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

    Duke put down that snack pack and roll the footage . It’s VBS week!

    Warmup
    The usuals with spikes of chatter with Tanas gigi arrival and Gooses wearing a crosscut necklace of cloth but mostly silent focus on preserving precious oxygen with furtive glances at YHCs entire cone collection in the big field being guarded by BAPs. Sooooon….

    To kickoff the shenanigans YHC explained the similarities between VBS stations and F3 and that we would train as group leaders today to get a taste of the action.

    Opening ceremony

    Needs to be high energy , get the blood pumping but also you need to run full speed backwards because you forgot your 2.0 shoes and he has not a care in the world of being barefoot in public.

    Indian run around the big loop with Nur to the front to take us to the Chimney.

    Game Station #1
    Hula Hoop Relay race

    Break into 3 teams
    1 team mate does hula hop to and around cone
    Rest of Team does 4 merkins, 4 sqats , 4 SSH , 4 BBSU (4x4x4x4 (tM)
    Until all complete and must slide the hula hoop down the line.
    Enron clearly ignored the PDF and instructional video YHC sent him about the 4x4x4x4 and he still had questions. Ya hate to see that from the self proclaimed smartest man in the room.
    In the end Team Goose took the title and gifted the losers with 25 monkey humpers, in an unrelated note we now cannot go within 100 feet of the St Joe carpool pickup line.

    To the tennis court

    Every great VBS must have catchy songs that get implanted into your brain and this week we talked with the kids a lot about listening to God for your call…

    Music Station #1
    “Call me maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen
    1 Merkin on “maybe” and “baby “
    Holding plank in a circle of pax and Pass the Hula Hoop with hands and feet.
    if it’s on you during call me maybe then you do 3 merkins.
    The pax got pretty good at passing that hula at lightning speed and WetTap has even adopted this as his on call theme song.

    Arts and Crafts Station #1

    Another vital part of VBS is a crafting station and no craft session is complete without rock paper and scissors. Pax paired up for escalating rounds of Rochamburpee with 2 more burpees for the loser each round till we reached 12. Not sure how everyone faired here but it seemed like burpees were enjoyed by all.

    Mosey to the Thunder dome

    Music Station #2
    Over the past 2 years selecting “F3 songs” has become a cherished pastime at YHCs house. There’s no definitive criteria but you know a really good one when you hear it. YHC recently stumbled upon the #SWT (Ronnie would later figure out this was Songs With Triggers) channel of f3 slack and uncovered an absolute gem.
    I needed a song to represent this weeks teaching of finding a quiet place to pray and it just so happened that Dean Summerwind had provided directions to a quiet lake where we could park just 80 miles from Santa Fe.

    “Parked by the Lake “
    Dean Summerwind
    Hold Al Gore with
    Bonnie Blair’s on “Parked”
    Tin Soldiers on “Santa Fe”
    Squats on “Lake”

    I hope it met Popeyes high expectations. It will be added to my F3 Song Hall of Fame as Diddle proclaimed it both right and just.

    Game Station #2
    Duck- Duck Goose
    Pax plank up in a circle facing outward. One pax selects a “Goose” by running around and tapping them on the head while the pax knock out plank related exercises (Merkin, plank jacks, MCs)
    The real honker himself got us started and we had Some close battles here with the Dawson 2.0s showing some serious evasive maneuvers.

    Arts and craft Station #2
    – color our ABCs
    PAX on our six with legs up to spell out VACATION BIBLE SCHOOOL (those Os are just too fun)

    Mosey to big field and as we turned the corner BAPS was seen and one pax yelled “is Jeaux here?”
    A simple question but it nearly derailed me as I couldn’t shake the image of YJ crouched in his van with binoculars and 1980s spy equipment writing down notes and mumbling “I knew it” .
    I composed myself and we arrived safely at the Grand Finale.

    Every VBS ends with a grand finale Friday where you showcase everything you learned through the week. So YHC unveiled the ultimate VBS obstacle course
    We split into two teams started some SSH and each team let one pax into the race at a time until they got to the minefield.
    BAPS provided “the final countdown” and We raced through..

    1. Dizzy bat
    2. Lunges
    3. Merkin minefield with CrawlBears (5 merkins if you knock down a cone)
    4. Broad jump burpees
    5. Suicide Trifecta (Nur, Run, Carioca)
    We grabbed our ever growing pile of gear and moseyed back to the flag for people’s choice Mary to represent your kids showing you all the stuff they learned during the week.
    Dr Ws, Penguins, Fred Merk, fire hydrants , WW1 sit-ups with Yote till the buzzer.

    Count o Rama, NamoRama
    GiGi found a new home with Ronnie and the Animal went back to the Goose nest with concerns that Crosscut was on his last microfiber.

    COT with continued prayers for the St Pierre family
    Goose prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC has a special place in his heart for VBS. Growing up it was always the mark of deep summer and where the seeds of my faith were first planted. (It’s where I picked up a love for relay races and obstacle courses!)
    It’s also a great reminder to me to search for simple yet profound truths and to strive for a childlike faith. Grateful for the men of F3 as we help each other walk a straighter path.

    PPS (Pickleteria PostScript) sponsored by Joola

    Following the beatdown several Pax gathered at the thunderDome for the first ever Pickleteria . Tana and Dilly graciously provided the pickleGear and all the fixings for Americas fastest growing game. In a thrilling opening match Team Dawson narrowly took down Threat Level Midnight 11-2. Acting manager of TLM Ronnie Lillich was optimistic for the teams growth during the post match interview: “Dox has a floppy wrist, plain and simple,I was carrying him. His mind was boggled about the kitchen and he lost his composure”. Sounds like TLM is going through a “rebuilding year” but a lot of league experts say Dox had a dollar store paddle. Ya hate to pickle with that.
    Well , It’s safe to say that the pickle fever has spread rapidly and the only question left is ..same time next week?

    SYITG
    Dox

  • I Ain’t No Hollaback Q! – from Yankee Joe

    For the love of Pete! Kids, turn off that durn radio television thing! I can’t hear myself think. I’m trying to type a summary brief of my exercise regimen I did with some other fellers this morning.

    What? It’s not a TV, it’s a tablet? Are you stupid? Do you see a chisel? I don’t care if you’re bored. Go outside! In my day, we would play outside all day. Hell, we were forced to sleep outside with the dogs. We drank hose water and lit M80’s while holding them in our mouth. We punched each other in the groin to say hello and ate grass for a snack. AND we were damn GRATEFUL for it. Grateful I tell you! We were tough as nails!

    What’s that you say? You didn’t know the tinted glitter sunscreen was for Dad’s perfectly manscaped chest? I guess you expect me to drive a golf cart down 30A with un-coiffed chest hair?

    What? You didn’t know that blood orange Perrier came from a garden hose? Go back to Navarre Beach if you want La Croix. I’m not raising peasants here.

    What do you mean you’re scared of my avocado-cucumber bro-mask? You think this skin tone just HAPPENS? Now shut your cute little pie holes…I’m trying to decide which organic tea to brew before my online Pilates class. Freakin’ kids…the minute I break out my typewriter…

    —————————

    YHC was planning on maybe 5 – 8 PAX for a humid Tuesday Tuff. Paradiddle suggested that it was cute that YHC thought 8 was a big showing. The beatdown was optimistically built for 10. At 5:10, 8 PAX were mulling around…and then they kept coming (some in minivans, some in brand new Mercedes SUV’s). With a minute to spare, we hit 14! YHC quickly started recalculating (while panicking) the beatdown logistics. It was going to be messy. It didn’t help that Paradox was in YHC’s ear singing 8 mile lyrics. Was this my one chance to blow? Then a 15th figure strolling up. Another FNG! YAY, but holy crap!

    That said, WELCOME to Bone Thug! It’s nice to FINALLY have a medical professional in the PAX now. I can’t imagine walking up to 14 strangers in the dark. Thug’s F3 name seems appropriate on many levels.

    Also, it’s really inspiring to see Honeysuckle, A merica’s Best, and Popeye all turning into regulars and providing some much needed maturity. (Shut up, Paradox. You’re a thick candy shell.) Seriously, you guys bring great energy, mumblechatter, and in Suckle’s case, a bunch of cinderblocks. It should be notet that Popeye was a huge part of F3 Thibodaux gaining momentum in the first place. Huge T-Claps. I hope the fruits of your early labor were clear to see this morning (Goose’s pastel crop top notwithstanding).

    ——————————

    CONTEXT

    In the era of “millennial songs,” we were subjected to a never-ending barrage of mind-numbing, soulless, and insipid compositions that represent the epitome of artistic decay. These so-called “songs” epitomize everything that is wrong with the modern music industry, where substance is traded for superficiality, and originality is replaced by generic formulas that appeal to the lowest common denominator.

    Ok, ok…that’s a bit much…especially coming from a 44-year old YHC who at one time in 8th grade thought Young MC, Tone Loc, and Vanilla Ice were prophets; that “She Drives Me Crazy” by the Fine Young Cannibals spoke my truth, and that Z Cavariccis with 75 pleats (and tight rolled around the ankles) was THE fashion here to stay. Fast forward a few years, and we won’t even bring up Oasis, Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows, or the Black Eyed Peas. Yikes.

    ——————————

    THEME

    ANYWAY, lately, there seems to have been some confusion about those anthems which define generations. Per usual, the Gen Xers and Gen Zers don’t really care. It’s the Millennials, however, who always seem to be BEARing a grudge against their foreBEARers.

    I don’t blame them. If I was coming of age with Avril Lavigne hitting the scene instead of Guns n Roses, or BEARing the brunt of songs like “I kissed a Girl” instead of “Even Flow,” or groups like Blink 182 instead of…well any other group…ever, I’d be harboring some deeply confusing issues too. I’d be BEARing my chest and screaming “WHY oh WHY?” Of course, I’m BEARly scratching the surface here. But seriously, Justin Bieber? Just unBEARable.

    So, as Paradox (fine, he’s a medical “professional”), who is diligent about the PAX wellbeing, would say…”The PAX needed healing.” BUT what kind of bridge could we bring to BEAR that would connect our generations? Could these 30-somethings BEAR to hear the truth? Or would we have to BEAR down and drop reality bombs? BEAR. BEAR. BEAR.

    YHC’s 2.0’s offered the answer as they sang along to ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.” The story was originally introduced in a 1989 book and then remade in a 2015 cartoon, neatly connecting the Gen Xers, Millennials, Gen Zers, and every other group in between and following.

    So to take these important steps in healing, we’re going on a millennial…er I mean a BEAR hunt this morning. F3 style.

    Call it a journey through lyrical crap.

    —————————-

    THE BEATDOWN

    Thang 1: Climbing the Mountain (Stage to Sidewalk)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a scarrrry mountain shaped like a desperate cry for help!

    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it,
    Gotta go over it with a bunch of stupid coupon exercises!

    Burpee penalty – Avril Lavigne – Skatr Boi (penalty averted by Paradiddle)

    10 man makers (45 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    30 curls (20 sec)
    40 merkins (60 sec) /
    30 curls (20 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    10 man makers (45 sec)
    Al Gore cheering on SIX

    —————————–
    Thang 2 – Narrow Pass (Sidewalk to Stage)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a really narrow pass, so narrow, too narrow for north louisiana egoes to pass through!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it – with a crap load of leg exercises and burpees!

    Teams of 8
    First two teams Block and Bears to mid point; other teams chilcutt peter parkers
    – 20 apollo ono’s 2:1 – all (1 min)
    – 20 prisoner squats
    – 20 bonnies 2:1
    Block and Bears to Stage (next group goes when prior team begins last exercise)
    – Chilcutt peter parkers while waiting

    —————————-
    Punishment Song (just because) – LMFAO – I’m Sexy and I Know It
    – SSH on verses
    – Burpee on “look at that body”
    – Star jump on “I, I, I work out”
    – Hillbilly walkers on “I’m sexy and I know it”
    – Fast high knees on “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle”

    Coupon mosey to top track half point of field, roadside

    —————————–
    Thang 3 – Cross the field (Across short field, roadside)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a beautiful field full of the dying culture of 30 somethings!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to murder bunny through it!

    Burpee penalty – Katy Perry – I Kissed a Girl (didn’t get a chance to play, because YHC is old and forgot)

    Murder bunny to halfway
    – 25 coupon LBCs
    – 25 coupon flutters (2:1)
    – 25 freddie mercs (2:1)
    Murder bunny to street

    ———————————
    Thang 4 – Traverse the River (Across street)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a raging river of passive aggressive Chackbay snark!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to rifle carry coupons through it!

    Burpee penalty – Gwen Stefani – Holla Back Girl (didn’t play because of time constraints)

    Rifle carry/Groucho Walk (side to side squat) across street
    Mosey left to corner, leaving Cindies

    Uh, oh! It’s dark in here.
    I feel something,
    It has lots of quaffed hair!
    It’s soft like a douche bag! With two heads!
    AHHHHH It’s Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston!

    Song: Eenie Meenie (aka top five worst songs in history)
    – Plank jacks on intro (you need to read this crap)
    – Mtn Climbers on Mind, Time, Wind
    – Groiners on refrain

    —————————————
    COT, GiGi was passed from Superfun(d) to Paradox (again), we welcomed Bone Thug, and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    One of YHC’s research streams is around market segments and generational trends. Of course, it is helpful to have reference points as styles and fashions come and go. At the end of the day, however, it’s just not that complicated. The good stuff sticks around and the crappy stuff dies. It’s always been about quality. So, no need to continue this generational feud. We just need to be on the same page that high quality music disappeared around 1994.

    Today was a bit of a dumpster fire, but I am genuinely grateful and always humbled to fight the good fight with each of you.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Beating Tires and Rocking Out to Skynyrd – from Smooth Operator

    Beating tires and rocking out to Skynyrd
    7/17/23
    Attendance
    Goldilox
    Paradox
    Goose
    Pope
    Cardinal
    Goats in the Machine
    Paradiddle
    Econoline
    FNG
    Smooth Operator

    I have always been a big fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd since I was a kid. Their music reminds me of hanging out with my dad whom always seemed to have their music on in his old truck. The other day I was feeling stuck in a rut and decided to let Spotify try and help clear my head. “4 walls of Raiford” by Lynyrd Skynyrd came on and instantly gave me a fresh new prospective on my problems. My little problems weren’t anything compared to this poor Vietnam Vet whom got caught up in a bad spot and ended up doing time in Raiford prison in Florida. Anyway lets get into it.

    I showed up this morning after a long wet night at work, but was feeling pretty good with a couple new additional props for this mornings beatdown. Lox showed up first with a FNG, and after that it was like the PAX flood gates opened up. Around 5:10 Goats in the Machine decided to grace us with his presence, it’s good to have you back buddy. I was hoping to see an ole Chevy pulling in to the subdivision around 0518 but I guess we will have to wait till Tuesday Tuff to start Frenchy’s comeback.

    Warm ups went as follows:
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Mountain Climbers

    Cadence left something to be desired, I’ll go ahead and blame in on sleep deprivation along with the rest of the beatdown explanation.

    THANG

    After warm ups, we went up on the stage and picked out a cell mate. For here little JBL came to life with 4 walls of Raiford. One half the cell would be doing box jumps and the other would be doing merkins and we would switch in between verses. This proved to be pretty tough with the long dragged out guitar solos and YHC thought it was perfect. No reason to get in a hurry.

    After the song finished we moseyed to the bumper and back to the flag where YHC set up 2 tires I found on side the road along with an 8 lb. maul and a really cool looking 8 to 10 lb. axe hammer which was a YHC impulse buy. The second part of the thang was a hammer swing timer which YHC felt the need to put in there to signify the digging ditches for the chain gang portion of the beatdown. While the PAX would be doing AMRAP of Man-makers . Half the PAX would be responsible for getting 20 hammer swings done on the two old tires. This worked pretty good but I probably forgot to mention it the first time around that only half the PAX needed to swing since all the PAX ended up beating them tires like they was the devil.

    After this we Moseyed around the mini track and headed back to the Jailhouse (Stage) for another Jail cell beatdown while JBL jamming to songs like Simple Man, Balled of Curtis Loew, Tuesday’s Gone, Sweet Home Alabama, Free Bird.

    The second round of the jail cell beatdown would go like this one cell mate would complete 8 reps of burpees while the other cell mate would complete 8 reps of prison squats. Then they would switch. After this we would move down to 7 reps and so forth until we reached 0 planking up upon completion. As a group we moseyed to the bumper and back to the tire beatdown for more hammer swings and man-makers. YHC must have reiterated the need for only half the PAX to give us the 20 reps of hammer swings to move on because we got it right this time. After we completed this along with more man-makers AMRAP, we moseyed around the track back to the jailhouse for today’s final round of jailhouse beatdown.

    The final round of Jailhouse beatdown went similar to the initial round. It was set to the song “Mr. Banker” and the exercises to complete would be Apolo Onos and Freak Nasties switching in between verses again. After switching 3 or 4 times YHC showed the PAX mercy and we abandoned the Freak Nasties due to YHC wanting to get those glutes some extra work.

    From here, we had roughly 5 minutes left and YHC felt a strong pull to beat those tires again so that’s what we did. The other half the PAX beat on some tires 2 by 2 while all the PAX did more man-makers until 0559 when YHC called it.

    Announcement

    Animal shirt went from Econoline to a well deserving Pope.
    Our new FNG supplied by LOX was given the name Longhorn due to being from Oklahoma and a Sooner fan.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Thanks to everyone who came out and put in the work, y’all kicked this beatdown’s butt.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Battle of the Ages – from Cardinal

    YHC found himself the victim of guerrilla warfare. An unknown PAX threw YHC’s name on the Q sheet unbeknownst to him (there was verbal chatter about taking said Q, admittedly). But always ready to face a challenge, a beatdown was put together. The chatter on the GroupMe focused on the wide age difference between the old fogeys and the young bucks, so a “battle of the ages” was crafted to settle the debate.

    Warmup of the usual fare kicked us off (SSH, WM, IW, FAC/BAC/CP, SL).

    Thang 1 was a celebration of a recent 21st birthday among the PAX (T-claps to French Horn, who was only at “hc” status and thus nowhere to be found). We started with 3 rounds of 21s – first round was high knees, second round was grass grabbers with the clap, and third round was Bobby Hurley’s. YHC had not even thought of a penalty because he was so confident that the PAX could count to 21 with ease. However, that proved not to be the case. EVERY SINGLE ROUND was failed by at least one of the PAX (although the first round may have been intentionally sabotaged by GiGi). A hastily created penalty was a lap around the Civic Center. They say education is bad in Louisiana….and YHC can confirm that.

    Thang 2 was an homage to two of the greatest hits when these 40+ fogeys were in their prime – Thunderstruck and No Scrubs (which was at the top of multiple lists YHC found while researching, despite a near unanimous disdain for the song). Thunderstruck was a simple burpee on “Thunder”, and No Scrubs was holding Al Gore while doing a jump at each “no” (which was a lot).

    Thank 3 closed us out with the triumph of the greatest generation – the Millennial. It involved 10 rounds of 100 reps each, with a 100m mosey in between each round (thus adding up to 2000 total reps/meters). However, due to YHC’s poor time calculations, we only got through 6 rounds before we had to call it – SSH, LBCs, Merkins, Lunges, Oblique Crunches, and Mountain Climbers. YHC noticed the total silence during this entire thang – until Goose started his oblique crunches, which garnered widespread admiration at the form and technique. Comparisons were made to drilling for oil as well as cattle roping. Make of that what you will.

    Dox prayed us out after COT and some announcements about the second annual SV500 – supporting a great charity in the Houma-Thibodaux area next month. Check us out and sign up! https://f3thibodaux.regfox.com/the-st-vincent-500-2023

    Always a blessing gentlemen. Might be some more Cardinal Q’s on the horizon.

    SYITG

    Cardinal

  • Lose Yourself – from Paradox

    Look
    If you had one one beatdown, one opportunity …
    To seize everything you wanted as a Q…
    Would you capture it or let it slip
    Yo

    His coolJabs are sweaty , calves weak , JBL is heavy
    2.0 vomit on his mudgears already , M’s spaghetti
    He’s nervous , but on the surface he looks calm and ready
    To drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting
    What he wrote down , the mumble chatter goes so loud
    He opens his mouth but the cadence won’t come out
    The clocks run out ! times up !
    5:15 already Blaow! …

    Duke! Snap back to reality and Roll that beautiful footage!

    With 30 days till our signature summer event YHC wanted to stoke the fires of service a bit with a St Vincent de Paul tribute beatdown. 10 high impact men trickled into the stage just as YHC finished laying out some ominously zigzagging cones. YHC had serious concerns about low attendance today after Wet Tap came from the top rope on Monday with a F3 Thib instant classic Nurmegeddon: a mile long Nur that put more pax in physical therapy than beer league softball. To my relief waves of vehicles began washing ashore from all corners of Houma-Thibodaux highlighted by Honeysuckle bringing an FNG on his second beatdown! T-Claps

    The calves were tight but these animals were hungry for more.

    Warmup
    The usuals and a bumper mosey to make sure we still knew how to run forward.

    Thang 1

    St Vincent birthday :
    4 -24-1581

    We grabbed coupons and hit 4 corners for :
    4 thrusters x 4
    24 Curls x 3
    15 Werkins x 2
    81 presses x x1

    This heated up pretty quick. Tana could not be reached for comments , leave a message after the tone.
    He does not like pina colada’s but he will get caught in the rain (if he needs a signature) . Champagne and yoga? Forget about it .

    To the stage

    A fathers sacrifice for his sons education.
    St Vincent grew up in a poor farming family, his family made major sacrifices to send him to higher education.

    Partner up –
    Jason Aldean – Amarillo Sky

    Father- Farmer carry both coups around the track while the
    son does step ups
    Both pax do 1 round of farmer carry and 1 round of step up
    Burned it out with a minute of step ups.

    So St Vincent became a priest at 19 but he couldn’t serve as parish priest till 24 so he went back to the books for a degree in Canon law and theology. He was totally primed to change the world with his now sharpened intellect but as he reflects in his writings his heart was not about serving others.

    Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
    Classic YHC side shuffle from grass to grass with Bobby Hurleys on can’t touch this.
    (Full props to YHCs 2.1 here. She dialed this one up and continues to sharpen her ear for F3 pain jamz.)

    Thang 2

    As we see time and time again God has a way of providing attitude adjustments at just the right time…
    St Vincent on his way back from finishing his education was caught by pirates and sold into 2 years of slavery.

    Open Ocean Team Race

    Split into 2 teams
    Start with 4x4x4 : 4 mountain climber , 4 Merkin , 4 SSH rinse and repeat. this seemed to boggle ole Street Smarts Ronnies brain until YHC saw the well patented Cardinal play to ask multiple clarifying questions in order to gather more oxygen. Well played.
    Send one pax at a time into the course until all go through and when the team is back together Team Lunge to the finish.

    Round 1 Nur/Run
    Round 2 Nur/Run Star jumps
    Round 3 all out Sprint

    Team one flexed big quad talent in round 1 and 2 with decisive victories anchored by the Popes young legs and Gooses rowing cadence.
    But Team 2 didn’t hear no bell.
    that’s when Ragnar Tana felt the Viking in his blood boiling and was heard cadencing his team to a close victory in round 3.
    Tremendous effort here all around cus the quads were …*checks diddle notes* ….
    …straight up lit fam frfr, say less!

    During these years as a slave St V saw the true value of service for “the least of these” and by establishing and deepening one on one relationships he converted his slave captors to Christianity eventually securing his freedom and returning to France with a full heart of Christian service

    Thang Finale

    Lose Yourself
    Ab burn out …
    Cycle of Big Boys , Leg Raise, Wife Pleasers with a 30 second 6 inch hold finisher

    CountoRama and NameOrana with a FNG ceremony…

    YHC has never been a great FNG namer and this is intensified as the Q. Today’s deliberations to name our FNG (he’s an eye doctor) started well enough with early front runners for Splinter and clear factions for America’s Best. YHC went with what seemed to be the popular vote of Splinter avoiding Gooses hurtful gaze…only for Team Dawson’s youngest litigator to bring the smoking gun in that we already had a splinter!
    Alas our man was dubbed America’s Best and was confirmed with the slightest hint of disgust for his new name and glowing smugness from the Honkmaster.

    Welcome America’s Best, great effort and continuing to strengthen our 40 north club with iron strong pax. The lineage of Yankee Jeaux becoming legendary even while he basks in the white sands of ….Florida with Ronnie D.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    As always its a great privilege to lead you men, grateful for your willingness to show up, beat the darkness and keep hammering.

    PAX today I challenge you

    The moment , you own it , you better never let it go
    Lose Yourself in the service of others
    This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Base-human-ball-man Game – from Goose

    YHC was feeling a little bit in a rut trying to come up with new ideas for the Peltch, but after some late night brainstorming, it seemed a good time for a couple of risky ideas.
    First, the warmups–usual suspects with unusually low mumblechatter, though YHC has noticed that it may be a trend on mornings where he’s Q-ing. It’s an interesting psychological phenomenon–not sure if it’s coming from dread, high count volume expectations, or short shorts and white thighs. Thankfully, Yankee and Dox were happy to intentionally inject some wittiness to wake things up a bit.

    We then grabbed coupons (most of us) and lined up for an Indian run to the Thunderdome. Sprinting to the front of the line with an awkward coupon seemed a unique challenge–the first of the day.

    Once under the dome of thunder, YHC paired with JBL and introduced a song off the first CD ever purchased for my first CD capable jambox back in ’96. Coupons were laid long-ways on the ground, and we would do Dox’s jump-switch-touch things for the duration, a two-footed hop over the coupon on every “on my way” and a genuflection for every “momabadeesay-moobadeeyah”. The song, “Send Me on My Way” is over four minutes long, which felt a little undoable with these exercises, so YHC offered to shave a minute off if anyone could guess the artist. YJ came through (like we all knew he would) with Rusted Root, and it was three and a half minutes of leg torture. YHC was grateful we did this first while we still had energy.

    Next, we hauled the coupons to the area next to the running track over by the cornhole set. YHC was looking for a partner exercise where the partners would compete so as to push the performance a bit. So, we settled on having one partner run the loop (1/2 mile) while partner two tried to complete 100 tricep curls/presses before they got back. Loser did 15 man-makers and winner did 15 big boy situps. A couple of interesting observations:
    1. 100 seemed like a lot on paper, but with the variety of runners/pressers, it was just right. And flippin’ hard.
    2. Pope is getting to be a bit ridiculous–he was ahead of Dilly by a good margin, and I found myself extremely grateful that he was in the first crew and I was in the second.
    3. Just about everyone split the difference on the man-makers with their partners. This is a good bunch of dudes.
    4. Running half a mile sucks worse than doing 100 tricep presses.

    After a 10-count or two, we headed over to the closest baseball field for the main event: base-man, or base-human, or baseball-man, or man-ball (should probably scratch that last one after YJ’s recently shared childhood baseball story). We dropped blocks at each base and then split into two teams. For the first inning, one player from Team 1 was the ball, and one player from team two was the base runner. The ball had to run to the center field fence before running back to try to get a runner out. Runners had to complete a coupon exercise before they could step on the bag and be safe. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.) Form also was important, and specific specs were given for each exercise. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.)
    YHC designed this game specifically with Cardinal in mind knowing that competition brings out the Red Hulk in him. He did not disappoint. YHC is tempted to include competitions in every Q just to see what a ripped Cardinal might look like, cuz that dude will push harder and do more reps than the rest of the group combined without even thinking about it if there’s something on the line.

    Team 1 (YHC’s team) seemed to be stacked with talent, and they made a solid showing at the top of the first inning only allowing one or two runs. Then, Team 1 became the base runners, and the momentum started to shift pretty dern quick. I don’t remember who got the first out, but Pope came through with a surprising double play, and to say we didn’t recover after that is an understatement. Next inning, Team 2 pretty much used the bases as a non-stop carousel despite some close calls and Cardinal questioning YHC’s identity as a member of a morally upright society and making a vague reference to YJ’s next visit to the Confessional. I think the final score was Team 2: something in the teens, Team 1: 1. Team 1 may have made a comeback, but time ran out, so we had to head back to the flag.

    We had just enough time for some slow, tortuous Mary that consisted of 6 in holds punctuated by occasional leg raises; high, slow flutter kicks; and Little Manny Crunches (hold for 3-count at the top).

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out due to some heavy stuff happening in the community (needed a heavy hitter on that prayer, for sure).

    It was an awesome morning, and YHC is grateful that you men showed up and played along.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Be the Rock! – from Goldilocks

    Goldilocks showed up to the Lion’s Den fifteen minutes early to a bit of a drizzle. No one was there which made Lox’s heart thump a little bit. Did he come to the place? However, Goose and Pope showed up which made his little heart calm down. The rest of the Pax showed up to Goldilocks’ VQ and we were ready to roll.

    The warmups were the normal: SSH, Wind Mills, Imperial Walkers, arm circles, cherry pickers, and some self love. Lox was excited and his cadence may have been quicker then the Pax was accustomed too, but it got the job done!

    Thang #1

    Lox then revealed the theme: St. Peter, the Rock of the Church. The Pax would follow in his footsteps as seen in the last chapter of the Gospel of John. This would begin with an Indian Run with the last person doing five merkins before sprinting to the front. St. Peter was running away from his vocation, and was a little proud so the Pax needed to get their chest big like him. He was also a fisherman so DJ Dox and his faithful sidekick JBL played some drunken sailor tunes for us. Members like Smooth and Michelin kicked into high gear and sprinted faster than the eye can see, but Cardinal still slowed down the pace (guess he didn’t wanna run too far from our Lord).

    Thang #2

    Bear crawl into 14 Bonnie Blair’s and 15 Diamond Merkins followed by crab walk into 14 J Lo’s and 15 squat jumps (x3) 29 reps on each side. June 29th is St. Peter’s Feast Day.

    Lox then brought us to the next part of the Pax’s journey with St. Peter. The Lord had asked Peter, “Do you love me more than these?”. Peter responded, “Yes, Lord you know that I love you.” Jesus then told him to feed his sheep. So the Pax would get at feeding dem lambs! This would entail a bear crawl to chase after the lost sheep catching them with some lunges and merks, but then the Pax had to bring the sheep back home with a bear crawl and the celebrate the return of lost sheep with some J Lo’s and squat jumps. DJ Dox gave us some Bieber to inspire us to work admit not knowing what the Lord was up to.
    The Pax felt good after only doing this once (Econdoline hadn’t even given us a grunt yet!) Lox then crushed their spirits reminding the Pax that the Lord asked the same question a second time. So the Pax got after it again for round 2. DJ Dox hit us up with some Queen and Econdoline gave us his famous grunts. Meanwhile Cardinal was still smoking all of us in crab walking, and Smooth was showing us his hips don’t lie with those sets of J Lo’s which would inevitably win him GiGi.
    The Pax crawled in after round 2 only to get hit again with the same thang. The Lord had asked Peter a third time, leading Peter to frustration. Lox hit the Pax with round 3, which led to the same response. Round 3 showed us what was really happening. Dox was tired of Cardinal smoking the Pax in crab walks, so he played some defense and sacrificed himself to get in the way of the flaming Cardinal, only slowing him down a bit. What a courageous solider that Dox is! Michelin showed some real heart as Lox yelled at the Pax to BE THE ROCK! This would win him Animal! Goose still finished first as always.

    Thang #3

    The Pax ended with some Mary, knowing that it is only with her help that we can follow the Lord admits trial and tribulation.

    Lox is super grateful for these F3 brothers, and is inspired everyday by their unwavering commitment to each other and to their own health. Keep going strong and be that rock! COT and pray led by Michelin closed us out.

  • Get Sharty – from Yankee Joe

    YHC arrived at The Peltch with high hopes of a large PAX. Sure, I only sent out five pre-hypes and sure, nobody actually HC’d. That said, nobody said they WEREN’T posting. Nobody said, “Hey, I know you are going to spend hours putting together a beatdown, and I hate to miss it, but we’re heading out of town.” As Montana would say from his vacay on the beach right now, “ya hate to see it.” I assume he’s at the beach. I have no idea.

    In planning the beatdown, I didn’t want to sell the PAX SHORT. I worked hard to ensure SHORTness of breath so that mumblechatter would be in SHORT supply. Though many of the PAX are under six feet, we make up for our SHORT stature in other ways. After seeing Goose’s seven inch vents and 3 inch inseams on his SHORTS the other day, I knew what had to be done. I couldn’t guarantee someone wouldn’t have an accident and SHART themselves, but today is all about the SHORT SHORTS or wet sharts depending on who you ask. The beatdown would celebrate four icons of short shorts.

    As I was saying, with my short shorts all up in a twist, YHC was excited to ultimately welcome five other PAX. With Paradiddle and Goldilox keeping up their posting streak and Paradox rolling in with some turquoise peeking out of his collar, the forecast looked bright. Lil’ Cuz sauntered in, but apparently couldn’t convince his M to loan him some shorts. His 10” inseams were a bit awkward. YHC was really looking forward to those pearly white legs.

    Most importantly, YHC was expecting an FNG. A former student and helluva beast first baseman for Nicholls (keep in mind, Nicholls beat the current College World Series champions this year), YHC was excited to have him in the mix. He emerged on the other end in much better condition than the rest of us, along with the new name, Shart’eh. He’s Canadian. He likes to say, “eh.” You put the rest together.

    We had 40 penalty burpees already on the books. The PAX had three trivia questions worth burpee deductions to be decided in fully transparent and biased fashion by the Q.

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    Self love
    High knees
    Mountain climbers

    Thang 1: Shartin’ to the Oldies

    Trivia #1: Where is Richard Simmons originally from?

    Answer: New Orleans (nobody got it)

    Song: Short shorts (The Royal Teens) – In high plank, 2 Groiners on “short shorts”; Shoulder taps during rest

    Plank Fonda X 15 each side (Jane Fonda’s in high plank with full arm extension)
    These were really hard. YHC is adding them to every beatdown moving forward.

    Star jacks X 15 IC

    Patty cake merkins w/ partner X 15 (P1 and P2 in merkin position facing each other. Merkin in sync, slap opposite hands at top of merkin…like patty cake.

    Transport: Mosey to ED White bleachers listening to “In Da Club”

    ——————————————————————————————————–
    Thang 2: If He Dies, He Dies

    Trivia #2: In 1975, Chuck Wepner fought Muhammad Ali for the heavyweight championship. Wepner was not expected to last more than a few rounds. Wepner even knocked Ali down in a near KO. Wepner eventually got TKO’d in the 15th round. A young screenwriter was sitting in the crowd that day and subsequently, wrote the plot to his movie idea in three and half days. Who was he?

    Answers: Slyvester Stallone (Lil’ Cus saved the day)

    To celebrate the Rocky franchise, but most importantly, the movie that saved America from communism, Rocky IV, the PAX laid into two new challenges. Of course, we listened to the traditional Rocky songs, including the Rocky IV training montage. As Paradox noted, the “only training montage.”

    Lunge Mountain

    Start at the base of the bleachers and lunge up each bleacher row. On top of each bleacher, do ascending air squats. There were 20 bleacher benches, thus 20 incline lunges and 210 squats. Not that it needs to be mentioned, but Goldilox is not a man, he’s a machine. See what I did there?

    Merkin Mountain

    Start in an incline Merkin at the base of any stadium bleacher. Perform 1 merkin and climb (preferably bear crawl) until your feet are where your hands started. Perform 2 Merkins and repeat adding one Merkin for every level you go up until you reach the pinnacle. There were 19 bleacher benches, thus 190 merkins.

    The FNG methodically pulled away from the PAX seemingly not breaking a sweat. Lil’ Cuz was right on his tail. Everyone fought through the insanity of this one. I think I heard Cuz say something like, “Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.”

    Transport: Mosey to softball fields, picking bricks up along the way – Song: “I Know You Want Me” by Peetbool

    —————————————————————————————————————-
    Thang 3: Birds of a Feather (or heatstroke)

    Trivia #3: I’m a 3X NBA champion, 3X NBA MVP in three consecutive years, 12X all-star, I went to Indiana State and in 1979, we lost the national championship, which was the first meeting of many between me and Magic Johnson. Who am I? (Larry Bird) Who did I play for? (Celtics) What was my number? (33)

    The FNG got this one right out the gates and saved the PAX from burpees. And the fact that YC forgot about them altogether.

    Also, earlier at the end of Warmarama, Paradox revealed that he was wearing our ‘ol girl, GiGi. However, it was at this point that he revealed one of his greatest moments. He dropped his shorts to reveal 3” inseam shorts, black with pink piping. The beatdown nearly derailed. I was sure that our FNG would say. “Welp, I’m outta here,” but no, but Paradox said, “If I can change and you can change, everybody can change.” Or maybe he said, “If he dies, he dies.” I have no idea…I couldn’t stop looking at the shorts.

    Webbicides

    If you’ve ever been part of a basketball practice, you most likely finished with free throws and team sprints for every miss. We didn’t do any free throws, but we did do 80 yard suicides (10 yard increments). A standard suicide but instead of touching each line the pax does an increasing number of Bobby Hurleys at each line. Run to the first line, do one BH, run back to start, run to the next line, do two BH’s, and so on until you get to 8.

    This one was a beast as well and took longer than YHC had planned. There were supposed to be two rounds, but after a continuous seven minute suicide, YHC had to move on. Paradiddle showed that endurance that only comes with 7 point strains while the rest of us are posting 14+ (it’s a Whoop thing, you wouldn’t understand).

    ———————————————————————————————————————
    Thang 4: The ‘Ol Coach Got Balls

    In this last exercise, YHC shared some items from his personal life…

    You see, YHC moved to Florida with his Dad when he was in elementary school. He happened to play little league with Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis. In fact, we were born two weeks apart. You could say we’ve been on similar life tracks.

    For example,

    – He’s a graduate of Yale where he was the captain of a Division I baseball team. I sometimes started for a D3 team that won 4 games. So, same.

    – Then got his law degree from Harvard. Big deal…I went to Lynchburg, Va and taught Spanish grammar to 9th graders and coached JV soccer. Same again.

    – He then was a commissioned officer in the Navy. Big whoop…during the same time, I ran a half marathon. Same, same, same.

    – He was elected to the House of Representatives and then Governor of Florida. Child’s play…during the same time, I qualified for a high interest loan to finance my truck. It’s like we’re the same person.

    – He recently announced his bid to run for President of the United States. Me? Well, I traded in that truck for a minivan and then tried to kill it by driving it into a concrete crevasse. Also, Poor guy. He must have fallen in with a bad crowd.

    Butttt…that’s not the Thang….

    One of those years, maybe 7th grade, Gov Ron and I played on the same little league team. On the first day of practice, we gathered in the parking lot outside of the Dunedin National Little League fields. We all sat down. Coach was wearing the good ‘ol polyester short short coaching shorts. They were short. Coach squatted down. As a 12 year old, I wasn’t sure what was happening, but polyester, the amazing apparel innovation that it is, can only hold so much and well…one ball slooowlyyy popped out the side. We were silent. He was silent. We were silent. He stood up and rearranged himself. We moved on.

    So, we will move on too… but not before always checking ourselves a few times to make sure all baggage is properly stored in the above compartment.

    The ‘Ol Triple check

    Teams of three. First man holds in freestyle peoples chair (knees together in seat position, no wall), arms straight up, second man in front of him doing Bonnies Blair’s, third man sprints 80 yards and back with bricks, rinse and repeat until time. We aimed for nine runs…each man cycling through three times. We succeeded, finishing by 7:29:58. The men REALLY pushed themselves here, especially on the brick sprints. In fact, it seemed like they were only getting faster.

    COT, GiGi was bestowed upon the Diddle. Our FNG was named.

    Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Safe travels to everyone this weekend.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • The death of pro shop Barry – from Wiford Montana

    This morning rolled up with much anticipation. 1yr ago was YHC first que and it happened to be the VQ of the infamous, ISI loving, jerf spitting, Yankee Josephine. That day was one to remember but this day was about showing appreciation, an appreciation of a group of like minded men that go far beyond some short one liners. Yes, we laugh and are still in utter shock at the length of goose’s shorts(I wouldn’t let my daughters out in that length inseam) but it’s beyond that. I made the decision to stick with F3 and the friendships made even in short 12 months are game changing. Keep showing up and also keep “heat checking” ur pax all u can it means something! So I will explain what we did but know what u so goes beyond the struggle.

    Warm up Tana style:
    A mix of permissible mumble chatter, backwards 1st arm circles, and bricked up Moroccan lunge nightclubs (shown by Enron,explained in great detail by Dox)

    Thang 1:
    Run the reservoir Indian run style with bricks then after the lap do 64 reps (1 for ever lb lost since Jan 1)

    Thang 2: “if you can read this ur in trouble”
    An ode to the YJ vq and his wrestling dayz
    30 alarm clocks
    30 lbc
    30 Turkish alarm clocks
    30 big boyz

    Thang 3: Diddle Death March
    Paradiddle had the pax needing more a couple weeks back when he ran us into the ground so I wanted to bring this back as part of the top Tana awards
    Burpee 10,8,7,6……1 but a long transfer jog in between

    We finished with a final lap around the building.

    Cot and Diddle prayed us out!

    SYITG
    Tana

  • The Centenarian Decathlon – from Paradox

    YHC has been in a rather melancholic mood recently and asking the deeper , heavy hitting questions about this life ?

    Am I original? Yeahhhh
    Am I the only one? Yeahhh
    Am I sexual ? Yeahhh
    Am I everything thing you need? You better rock your body now…
    *record scratch***
    ***looks in the mirror and slaps face ***

    (No no no !
    That’s not it !
    That’s YJs Monday beatdown playlist with the Backstreet Boys still plaguing your mind
    Let it go Dox , keep your composure
    Focus , you’re better than this
    Do it for Tana, he’s alone out there in the rep wilderness and needs this blast )

    Ok ok I’m back but seriously the question here is what can I do for the years I’m allowed on this planet to be the most functional
    Can health span truly = lifespan?

    Well, 8 High impact men beat the darkness at the stage Tuesday morning to answer the above.

    This framework YHC picked up from a longevity expert Dr Peter Attia (see links below for more elegant explanations)
    But it boils down to imagining your most important tasks at 100 years old and reverse engineering the training for our own personal decathlon. So YHC polled the pax audience via text the day before and built a list of everyone’s “must be able to do at 100” list.

    But here’s the catch .. sure you can do those things now but we need to be able to compensate for age related decline.
    So for example you can all pick up a 20 lb toddler now and raise them over your head like Simba. But for the next 4 decades you could lose 7-8 percent of your muscle strength/decade (perhaps more if you have a roaring water problem) : so today you need to be able to lift ….let’s say a 40 lb coupon overhead roughly 50 times. Makes sense? You see where this is heading

    Duke get the footage and Medicare part D we got new indications baby !

    Warmup
    Standard issue warmups welcoming back Goose and Pope fresh from NC adventures and extra time to nurse a few tight arms from YJs zombie crawls and Lil cuzs pull-up palooza.

    Bumper mosey

    Da List

    #1 get up from lying down un aided
    #2 climb stairs

    Song : I Don’t Need Your Rocking Chair – George Jones
    Wake up , Climb Stairs

    BBSU into box jump
    Back into bed with 1 Merkin increase each rep
    That bird poop on the stage never smelled better.

    #3 Coordination to play with great grandkids and #4 Driving )
    Indian Run with frisbee
    Last man does 5 gas pumps
    If Frisbee miss , all pax 7 jump squats

    YHC will confess here that I’m very bad at frisbee and expected atleast 5-6 drops. Little did I know smooth and Goldilocks are semi pro frisbee weekend warriors. YHC had so little faith in an overthrown pass that I had halted the run to smugly handout squats. Goldilocks turned on the #jets and the seminarian house will be getting PED testing very soon.

    #5 Pick up great grandchildren and #6 Swim

    WIPE OUT
    Flora
    P1 10 Thrusters to complete 100
    P2 Flutter kicks

    The chatter subsided significantly after opening the thrusters …

    LIVE ON A PRAYER

    Travel – 20 coupon curl each to complete 80 as a partner pair
    P2 – Genuflections

    ITS THE CLIMB #8
    #9 GOLF with my FRIENDS

    100 Apolo Onos (to get the ball out of the hole ) – sets of 10
    Coupon Dance Steps fast as you can go (simulate climbing )

    Fantastic group effort to finish these out and I don’t know if I was motivated more by Goose or Miley Cyrus but we finished real strong.

    …Grand Finale

    GIVE ME SOME LOVING #10

    It was here YHC revealed that Smooth had answered the penultimate question with his usual stunning word efficiency

    What is the single most important activity to still be doing at 100 ??

    Pickle Pounders!

    Song : Give me Some loving
    Plank reaches on Song
    2 Merkins on Glad
    Pickle Pounders on Give and loving
    All I can say here is that somewhere in North Carolina ole Kilmer is smiling and that there could be some HR classes Goose has to attend for being an upstanding HOA member present at this musical debauchery.

    COT and Lox prayed us out

    Animal given to the Pope for carrying YHC through the thrusters and still counting them all.

    The Tanaversary is Thursday
    The hype is building…

    Great morning striving alongside you men keeping our physical and spiritual health sharp.

    Keep it 100

    SYITG

    Dox

    https://peterattiamd.com/how-to-train-for-the-centenarian-decathlon/